Mary Ann Todd Lincoln was an American first lady who served as the First Lady of the United States from 1861 until her husband, Abraham Lincoln, was assassinated in 1865. Born into a wealthy slave-owning family in Kentucky, she never owned slaves and later opposed slavery. When Abraham and Mary Lincoln moved into the White House, Mary’s siblings lived in various states, with five supporting the Union and eight supporting the Confederacy.
Mary Todd Lincoln was born into a prominent family in Lexington, Kentucky, and her mother, Eliza Ann Parker Todd, passed away when she was just six years old. The Todd family valued education, particularly for their daughters, a progressive stance for the time. When Emilie Todd Helm, Mary’s favorite half sister, visited the White House after her husband’s death at Chickamauga, the president had to answer to a critical Union general.
Mary Todd Lincoln became a figure of controversy and criticism during her time in the White House. She left her family at an early age, petitioning the school she attended to grant her request to be a boarding student, despite living in Springfield, Illinois. She later retired to the home of her sister in Springfield, where she died in 1882 at age 63. She is buried with her husband and three younger sons.
In 1865, Mary Todd left the White House and moved to Chicago with her sons Robert and Elizabeth. Her father died in 1800, and her mother, also named Elizabeth Parker, remained unmarried until her death in 1850. Biographers believe that Mary Todd was the daughter of Eliza Parker and Robert Smith Todd, pioneer settlers of Kentucky.
Mary Todd was committed to an insane asylum by her son Robert in 1875, but later won her release. On July 16, 1882, she died at her home. In 1839, she moved to Springfield, Illinois, to live with her sister Elizabeth Edwards. She met Illinois House Representative Abraham Lincoln and held a farewell reception before departing for Washington on February 11.
In 1868, Mary Todd was shocked when her dressmaker and confidant, self-emancipated businesswoman did not attend her husband’s funeral and had no family members from Springfield come to her side during this difficult period. She spent the next four years in Europe, returning in late 1880 to Springfield, where she remained in declining health until her death in 1882.
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| Widowhood & Insanity Trial History — Mary Todd Lincoln … | Overcome by the loss, she grieved alone, seeing only family and close friends. In mid-May 1865 she left the White House and moved to Chicago with sons Robert … | mtlhouse.org |
| Todd Family History | Eliza’s father died in 1800 and her mother, also named Elizabeth Parker, remained unmarried until her death in 1850. Biographers believe that Mary Todd was … | mtlhouse.org |
| Family: Mary Todd Lincoln (1818-1882) | She was committed to an insane asylum by her son Robert in 1875 although she later won her release. On July 16, 1882, Mary Todd Lincoln died at the home of her … | mrlincolnswhitehouse.org |
📹 Who was Mary Todd Lincoln? The Story Behind the Former First Lady
Three of her four children did not live to adulthood, and her husband was assassinated while he held her hand. If anyone ever …
Was Mary Todd Lincoln A Confederate Spy?
Mary Todd Lincoln, born Mary Ann Todd on December 13, 1818, in Lexington, Kentucky, faced significant unpopularity during her tenure as First Lady from 1861 until her husband's assassination in 1865. Raised in a prominent slaveholding family and under a strict stepmother, Mary’s Southern heritage complicated her position amid the Civil War. Despite her strong support for Abraham Lincoln and the Union, societal suspicion surrounded her, particularly because some of her relatives fought for the Confederacy. This led to accusations of her being a Confederate spy, a claim that persisted even after the war ended.
Mary was known for her emotional nature and extravagant spending, which drew criticism at a time when financial resources were strained due to the war. Many viewed her actions as unpatriotic, further alienating her from Washington society. Throughout her time in the White House, she dealt with a hostile reception and vilification in the press for her shopping habits. Her desire to remain in Washington during threatening times for the Union, coupled with the familial connections to the South, only intensified public scrutiny. Ultimately, Mary Todd Lincoln’s complicated legacy reflects her challenging role as First Lady during a tumultuous period in American history.
Did Mary Todd Lincoln Lose A Child?
Mary Todd Lincoln endured profound losses throughout her life, beginning with the death of her mother when she was just six, followed by the passing of her father and his remarriage. She suffered the tragic loss of her three sons: Eddie, who died at four in 1850; Willie, who succumbed to typhoid fever at eleven in 1862; and Tad, who died of tuberculosis in 1871. After her husband Abraham Lincoln was assassinated in 1865, Mary moved to Chicago with her surviving son Robert.
Despite being remembered for her mental illness and extravagant lifestyle, she was known to be witty and cultured. However, the weight of her tragedies took a toll on her mental health. In 1875, Robert committed her to an asylum due to concerns about her sanity. Mary outlived three of her four children and her husband, which left her grief-stricken. After Tad's death, her condition worsened, and she faced public scrutiny during her prolonged mourning period.
Mary spent her final years in declining health, both physically and mentally, living with her sister before passing away on July 16, 1882, at the age of 63. The losses she endured, compounded with societal perceptions, led to a life marked by both personal tragedy and public controversy. Today, her legacy is overshadowed by these struggles and the historical gaze upon her character.
When Did Mary Todd Lincoln Leave The White House?
Mary Ann Todd Lincoln, wife of the 16th President Abraham Lincoln, served as First Lady from 1861 until his assassination in 1865. While several biographies, including those by Jean H. Baker, Catherine Clinton, Justin G. Turner, and Linda Levitt Turner, state she left the White House on May 23, evidence indicates her departure occurred on May 22, 1865. Following the assassination, President Andrew Johnson permitted her to remain in the White House for nearly six weeks, although she often left Washington for shopping and vacations.
Her refusal to abandon the White House during the Civil War showcased her resilience, despite the personal financial hardships stemming from debts accrued for improvements to the mansion. Overcome with grief after her husband’s death, she did not attend his funeral. Finally, she left the White House on May 22, moving to Chicago with her sons Robert and Tad. Mary’s life was marked by tragedy and turmoil, with the death of loved ones early in her life.
The transition to widowhood was particularly challenging, as she encountered significant financial strain. By February 1870, she was almost penniless and reached out to James Orne for support. Despite these struggles, Mary Lincoln, initially taken as First Lady, became the first widow of a slain U. S. president, carrying the weight of her husband’s legacy throughout her life.
Did Mary Todd Get Along With Her Stepmother?
Mary Todd Lincoln, born into a wealthy Lexington, Kentucky family, faced significant challenges in her family dynamics following her mother’s death when she was six. After her father remarried Elizabeth "Betsy" Humphreys, tensions grew within the household. Conflicting accounts suggest that Mary did not have a good relationship with her stepmother, who once referred to her as "Satan's limb." Despite these difficulties, Mary enjoyed a privileged upbringing, with enslaved individuals performing domestic labor.
The strained relationship with her stepmother, combined with a distant father, prompted Mary to move to Springfield to live with her sister Elizabeth, who was married to influential politician Ninian Edwards. Historians note the rift between Betsy's children and those of Eliza Todd following the death of Mary’s father. Mary’s bond with her sister became crucial as they navigated their family’s complexities. During this period, when Mary was about to marry Abraham Lincoln, she experienced a reconciliation of sorts with her family, aided by mutual friends.
Although some sources indicate that Mary's relationships improved as she matured, the initial conflict with her stepmother left an indelible mark on her youth. Ultimately, Mary Todd’s childhood was marked by privilege coupled with emotional challenges, as she grappled with her stepmother's authority and her fragmented family environment.
How Many Husbands Did Mary Todd Lincoln Have?
Mary Todd Lincoln, born on December 13, 1818, in Lexington, Kentucky, was the fourth child of Robert Smith Todd and Elizabeth Parker Todd. She married Abraham Lincoln on November 4, 1842, at her sister Elizabeth's home in Springfield, when she was 23 and Lincoln was 33. The couple had four sons: Robert Todd, Edward Baker, William Wallace (Willie), and Thomas (Tad). Only Robert and Tad survived into adulthood.
Mary was known for her extravagant lifestyle and struggled with mental illness, particularly following her husband's assassination in 1865, which thrust her into a sorrowful existence marked by a lack of financial stability and bouts of odd behavior.
Despite personal challenges, Mary staunchly supported Lincoln’s career and was politically active throughout his presidency. She faced adversity, including having been courted by Stephen A. Douglas prior to her marriage. Following Lincoln's death, Mary left the White House, relocating to Chicago with Robert and Tad. She was deeply affected by the loss, opting not to attend her husband’s funeral and lacking family support during this difficult time. Her life encapsulates the trials faced by a First Lady thrust into the public eye, enduring both personal and political turbulence.
Did President Lincoln Have A Twin Brother?
Abraham Lincoln, the 16th president of the United States, had two siblings: an older sister named Sarah, born on February 10, 1807, and a younger brother named Thomas (Tommy), who died in infancy shortly after his birth. Sarah was two years older than Abraham and later married Aaron Grigsby. The Lincoln family included three children: Sarah, Abraham, and Thomas, with a constant struggle for their mother, Nancy Hanks Lincoln, due to the early deaths of her children.
Lincoln's only surviving son, Robert Todd Lincoln, was born in 1843. Interestingly, Sarah supported Abraham's education, recognizing his intelligence. During his presidency, Lincoln issued pardons for hundreds of individuals, a notable aspect of his leadership. Lincoln’s childhood began in Hardin County, Kentucky, where Thomas and Nancy Hanks married. While less is known about Tommy, the younger brother, Sarah never witnessed Abraham's rise to the presidency.
The Lincoln family's history also intertwines with notable figures such as John Wilkes Booth. Despite the tragedies of their early life, Abraham Lincoln emerged as a significant figure, preserving the Union and abolishing slavery. The Lincoln family's enduring legacy and relationships extend into American history.
Who Does Lincoln Fall In Love With?
Ann Rutledge, remembered as Abraham Lincoln's first love, was born on January 7, 1813, in western Kentucky. The Rutledge family moved to Sangamon County, Illinois, in the 1820s, where Ann's father contributed to the local Salem Mill and managed Rutledge Tavern. The romance between Lincoln and Rutledge is depicted as pivotal in Seth Grahame-Smith's novel "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter," where Rutledge is tragically killed by a vampire upon falling in love with Lincoln.
While their relationship is often viewed as part of American folklore, some critics raise doubts about the depth of Lincoln's mourning following Ann's sudden death in 1835, especially since he soon became romantically involved with Mary Owens. Despite this, Lincoln reportedly claimed, "My heart is buried in the grave with that dear girl," often visiting her grave. In 1840, Lincoln began moving toward an engagement with Mary Todd, even amidst his complex feelings for various women, including during his friendship with Joshua Speed.
The profound impact of Rutledge's death on Lincoln's emotional state is well-documented, leading historians to argue that this loss significantly shaped his character and future relationships. Ann Rutledge remains a poignant figure in Lincoln’s life story, embodying both his early affection and the deep sorrow that marked his personal journey.
Who Is Mary Todd Lincoln'S Daughter Julia Edwards?
Julia Edwards, daughter of Elizabeth Edwards, married Edward L. Baker Jr., the editor of the Illinois State Journal. Mary Todd Lincoln's grandniece, Mary Edwards Brown, served as custodian of the Lincoln Homestead, which remained in the family. During the First Inauguration in March 1861, Elizabeth Edwards and her daughters, including Julia and Elizabeth, stayed at the White House. Although Lincoln disliked Julia, he held a favorable view of her brother, Edward "Lewis" Baker Jr.
Elizabeth Edwards had faced family tragedies, including the deaths of her daughter Julia and her son Charles. The Edwards family had strong ties to Lincoln; Elizabeth was chosen for support by Mary Todd during difficult times. Elizabeth's sister, Frances, had also faced loss, just as Mary Todd endured grief after Lincoln’s assassination in 1865. Elizabeth Edwards had married Ninian W. Edwards, a prominent figure in Illinois politics, and they had several children.
Julia Edwards, who struggled with mental health issues, had lived during a time when family relationships were complicated by various personal struggles. In later years, Julia Edwards Baker became known for her historical contributions regarding the Lincoln family, particularly her research on Mary Todd Lincoln.
Why Did Lincoln Break His Engagement To Mary Todd?
Abraham Lincoln broke off his engagement to Mary Todd on New Year's Day, 1841, hindered by doubts and a lack of support for the relationship. This separation lasted over eighteen months, during which Lincoln engaged in reckless behavior. Mary Todd had fallen in love with Lincoln despite her family's concerns about his poverty and lack of political prospects. Initially, their engagement took place after a brief courtship, but Lincoln later expressed regrets and concerns, even suggesting he loved her less than expected.
Despite a tumultuous period marked by their separation, the couple was reunited through mutual friends and married on November 4, 1842. They faced various challenges, including societal scrutiny and personal loss, particularly during Lincoln's presidency when their son Willie died. Mary Todd's behavior, as First Lady, was controversial; she faced allegations of accepting bribes and engaging in unethical practices.
Their marriage occurred in a parlor in Springfield, Illinois after a challenging courtship, reflecting both personal triumphs and societal obstacles including family objections. Lincoln's early life and financial struggles caused considerable tension, and even after their marriage, they experienced stress from external pressures and the Civil War. Notably, historical accounts detail Lincoln's conflicted feelings about the union, demonstrating the complexity of their relationship throughout the years.
Did Sufjan Stevens Mention Mary Todd Lincoln?
In 2005, Sufjan Stevens included the instrumental track "A Short Reprise for Mary Todd, Who Went Insane, but for Very Good Reasons" in his album Illinois, inspired by the state associated with Mary Todd Lincoln, wife of President Abraham Lincoln. This track references her tumultuous life, particularly highlighting her institutionalization by her son Robert in 1875 due to erratic behavior—a consequence of her mental health struggles following her husband's assassination.
The acclaimed play Oh, Mary! premiered Off-Broadway in 2024, further exploring her narrative. Stevens' music celebrates various themes, including Casimir Pulaski Day and personal crises, while providing a nod to the Lincolns who called Illinois home. The musical homage also draws from the inscription at the Lincoln Memorial, emphasizing the connection between Mary Todd and her husband. Despite being acknowledged for her role as a devoted mother and wife, the couple’s relationship was not always supportive or appreciative.
Stevens' lengthy title encapsulates the complexity of Mary Todd's experiences, connecting historical elements with personal tragedy. The piece highlights her grief and the societal implications of her mental health as it reflects on broader themes of loss in American history. Sufjan Stevens’ work invites listeners to engage with the deeper implications of Mary Todd Lincoln's story, blending history and artistry.
How Old Was Mary Todd When She Married Abraham Lincoln?
Mary Todd married Abraham Lincoln on November 4, 1842, at her sister Elizabeth's home in Springfield, Illinois. At that time, she was 23 years old, and he was 33. They had four sons, all born in Springfield: Robert and Tad (Thomas) survived to adulthood, with Robert being the only child to outlive both parents. Mary developed a strong interest in politics, influenced by her father's connections with influential figures. She first met Lincoln in 1840 when she was 21 and he was 31, falling in love with him despite her family's objections concerning his financial status and political prospects.
After a brief separation in early 1841, they reconciled and married. Mary served as First Lady from 1861 until Lincoln's assassination in 1865. She was born Mary Ann Todd on December 13, 1818, in Lexington, Kentucky, and was the fourth child of Robert and Eliza Parker Todd. Her life changed significantly after marrying Lincoln, transitioning from relative privilege to the role of a middle-class wife.
They experienced the joys and sorrows of parenthood, with the family enduring personal tragedies. Mary passed away on July 16, 1882, at 63, and was buried at Oak Ridge Cemetery in Illinois, where mourners paid their respects in the same parlor where she married Lincoln.
Are There Any Lincoln Family Left?
The branch of Abraham Lincoln's family is considered extinct since the passing of his last undisputed legal descendant, Robert Todd Lincoln Beckwith, on December 24, 1985, who died childless. Abraham Lincoln, the sixteenth President of the United States, was born to Thomas Lincoln and Nancy Hanks. He had four sons: Robert, Edward, William, and Thomas. However, only Robert Todd Lincoln had children, although he was the last direct descendant by the time he died.
Notably, while many descendants of Abraham Lincoln exist, they do not carry the Lincoln surname and are distantly related. The Lincoln family has significant historical figures, including Levi Lincoln Sr. and Jr., but none directly descended from Lincoln remain alive today. In a 1922 gathering, the last known direct relatives convened to dedicate a monument in his honor, showcasing the family's historical impact. Researchers and historians continue to explore the Lincoln lineage, including contested claims regarding Timothy Lincoln Beckwith's paternity.
Regardless, definitive scientific evidence supports that Lincoln's direct lineage effectively ended in 1985. Today, those with any connection to Lincoln via distant relations exist but do not count as direct descendants.
📹 The LINCOLN FAMILY’s 9 Strangest Secrets Unveiled!
Discover the untold stories of one of America’s most iconic families with our enthralling video, “Lincoln Family: 9 Odd Facts.
Several Lincoln historians as well as psychologists and psychiatrists have posited that Mary Lincoln dealt with bipolar disorder which was exacerbated by the tragic deaths of her young sons and by the carriage accident that she had while living in the White House. Mental illness of any kind is difficult to deal with, but such illnesses as bipolar, schizophrenia, dementia and others actually rob a person of their sense of self. For this reason I can only have pity and compassion for both Mary and Abraham who dealt with serious depression. How they were able to function normally at all is a wonder. What a shame that there was no medical help in the 19th century to help the mentally ill!
New subscriber here! 47 yrs old & I absolutely love history & biographies; They’re getting so hard to find! Really enjoyed your narration & the use of topic specific pictures. I know that sometimes it can be hard to find topic specific pictures & articles but I can’t stand it when people use pics/videos that don’t even coincide w/ the period of time being referenced. Nice job. Greetings from Alabama. 🙂
As a historian, I know firsthand how much time and energy are required to put together an hour long “lecture,” and make it informative but also fascinating and even enjoyable. You did a stellar job of telling Mary Todd’s tragic story. When I read my first biography of her life, I struggled with my own emotions. On the surface she’s an extremely difficult woman to like. But upon further research I found myself pitying her. The reality is her childhood was filled with death, negligence, and instability, any one of which can destroy a child’s psyche. She was deprived of the love and security every child needs and as a result, she was a psychologically damaged little girl who grew into psychologically damaged woman. Actually, given the unbelievable amount of heartache she endured, it’s remarkable she was as rational as she was! Despite her mental health struggles, she was quite a trailblazer. At a time when women were believed to be weak & fragile, were taught to be submissive to their husbands, and understood their place was to walk behind their husbands, not beside them, she refused to follow the rules.
Thank you for putting this article together! For me, Mary Todd has always been an interesting person to learn about. Losing three sons and seeing her husband murdered literary in front of her is beyond comprehension and yes mental illness was barely understood. I’ve seen some portrayals of Mary Todd and I think Mary Tyler Moore did an absolutely amazing job in showing what a tightrope Mary had to walk. Seemingly no end of criticism she no matter what she did.
I really enjoyed this, thank you! Ive read a lot on the Lincolns and I have to be honest, I love Mary!! She was a pistol, for certain but so misunderstood too. What woman wouldnt be a little crazy after her husband was shot in the head while sitting next to her!? It certainly would have gotten to me. Then her children all taken from her…. I pray she rests in peace ✝🙏🏼
I have always been fascinated by Mrs Lincoln. There is so much about her i didn’t know and which you brought out. She did have a lot of grief in her life and unfortunately dealt with it in an unhealthy way. However in her credit it seems like no one knew how to help her or knew what was mentally going on in her life. I am sure if they could help her though it would be a battle that most would not want to fight.
Thank you for showing both sides of Mary Todd Lincoln for I believe if it wasn’t for Mary and Abrahams love for their sons I doubt the civil war would have ended when it did. Death hung over both their lives and the fear of losing another son to war was unbearable to them both. Abraham was torn between getting the Thirteenth Amendment signed or ending the civil war. Mary lit a fire under him that gave him motivation to achieve both. Lincoln wore his grief on his face and Mary drowned herself in luxury. Lincoln would have given her anything to protect her from death’s shadow that chased them both. Mary is happy now and I hope some of us are great fully alive because our ancestors survived the Civil War due to Lincoln’s loving their family. 🙏💕
This was so beautifully written. i had to comment. I never knew much about Mary Lincoln. My heart goes out to her now. i never realized so many of her family were Confederates. She was the ultimate first women’s libber, for sure. God bless the Lincolns and bless you for your work educating us about our history. Thank you.
I didn’t know what to make of Mrs. Lincoln. Through most of this article, I found it hard to reconcile my feelings for her, whether there was some pity, or piteous contempt. Yet, at the end, when you spoke of her being with her family again in death, I felt a well of sadness, and felt tears. An end to what, despite her difficulty from and to others, was surely a painful existence.
I wanted this article earlier this morning on a lazy Cali Sunday it was absolutely amazing and very informative I don’t recall knowing anything in this much detail about Mary Todd Lincoln and you’re voiceover made listening to it spectacular now I’m a new fan giving you a thumb’s up wishing you continued success. ❤
This production was done in a trauma informed way. Kudos. She certainly had a lot of loss. She lost 3 sons and was estranged from the 4th. It seems like she couldve been a pretty fiery president herself! The word ‘hysteria’ is used often for women in the past, which, to me, signifies the frustration over the constraints put on women, the opportunities they never got. What a sad story. She could’ve been a real force. Thank you.
She struggled so much. So very sad. Whether she was “bi-polar”, or just clinically depressed, it’s hard to condemn anything about her. America changed that night. It wasn’t for the best for a spell. America grew after the war, and I will ALWAYS believe it was for the better. I would go to the Lincoln Memorial today, but now, that would cause me to be arrested. Our once great nation, the hope of millions, has become a third world country, and each and every president since our inception has spun so fast in their graves, there is nothing left. So sad.
Very insightful documentary. Thankyou for your hard work. I would surmise the lady had mental problems. Sad that that was influcted on her husband and family. One comment please? When a person of signigicance died in Mary’s life, you kept saying she was abandoned. She was not abandoned, the person died. She felt abandoned. There is a significant difference. Thankyou.
Mary Todd called her privileged childhood “desolate” not only because of the actual death of her mother but also because of the metaphorical death of her father.86 After her mother died, Mary evidently received little attention from Robert Smith Todd, who, a scant few weeks after his wife’s burial, traveled secretly to nearby Frankfort and courted young Elizabeth “Betsey” Humphreys, whom he wed a year later.87 To Mary’s chagrin, the couple produced eight half-siblings for her over the next fifteen years. She evidently felt betrayed, abandoned, and rejected by her “impetuous, high-strung,sensitive” father.88 As a result, deep-seated anger at him apparently smoldered in her unconscious. Mary Todd had some legitimate grievances against her stepmother. She confided to a friend that her “early home was truly at a boarding school,” Madame Mentelle’s Academy
Thanks for all your work, Mary Todd, gets very little good press, a difficult, distressed person. You can argue that Lincoln was a very distressed person, but he acted in (depressed) and she acted out, drama, being difficult, manipulative. Lincoln controls his emotions, holding them in, Mary almost does all the emotion….
Mary Todd Lincoln seemed to have some serious abandonment issues. Unfortunately, society women can be catty, so no wonder they thought her gowns were scandalous. It would be great to talk about Elizabeth Keckley, Mary Todd Lincoln’s dressmaker. A former enslaved woman who bought her freedom then became a popular modiste to Washington’s socialite and became Mary Todd’s confidante.
Love a strong woman.Approval not needed.A work of art. Her mansion was a statement.Her life is a wonderful encouragement to take the initiative .A broken heart because of loss caused her to be defensive.1865 saw a great first Lady. Her husband the President made no will.Still resilient she received a pension. At the end of the day left an inheritance .⚖️
I was raised and now live in Springfield, IL. The first son is the only one of their children not buried with them. He was given the option to do so; but declined. It’s believed that he had always found his parents to be an embarrassment; his fathers humble upbringing and mannerisms, his mother’s penchant for theatrics and petty spite and his younger brother’s high spiritedness behaviors were more than he could tolerate. He did however, respect what his father had achieved and while his behavior towards his mother eventually became cruel, what he did try to do for her was more out of family obligation verses any real love.
Women of substance raised in the South behaved just like Mary Todd Lincoln. Saying she had mental disorders is a total slam on the South. It is a shame the way the Northerners treated her. (I’m giving no excuses for the South. They raised their children like the aristocracy-privileged and not self aware.)
Years ago I read the book Love is Eternal, I apologize that I don’t remember the author . It was a heart breaking story of the life of the Lincoln’s. Yes it was apparent that Mary had mental illness. But the things she suffered in her life it’s no wonder. And it was horrible how she was treated after Lincoln died. I truly felt such anger towards the way she was treated.😢And her son Robert treated her so mean. I love President Lincoln and Mary. ❤
Thank you for doing a article about Mary Lincoln. Indeed, from her early background & personal losses, she didn’t seem to cope well & appeared to be a real nutcase. What I don’t understand, is why you didn’t include her frequent use & ultimate dependence on laudanum, which most certainly contributed to her erratic behavior.
I consider Mary to be one of the most tragic and misunderstood figures in American history. When she was only 6, her mother died in childbirth. She did not get along with the woman her father subsequently married, and left home in her teens to live with older siblings. Mary was intelligent, well-educated, and interested in politics. Her second son, Eddie died at the age of 4, while the family still lived in Illinois. After Lincoln became President, her third son, Willie, died in the White House at age 12. Three years later her husband was murdered as she sat next to him at Ford’s Theater. Six years after that, her youngest son, Tad, died at age 18. Having prematurely lost her mother, three of four sons, and her husband, Mary’s was a life haunted by death and grief. Yes, she had a difficult personality and wildly labile moods. But I work in psychiatry and agree with those who feel she had bipolar disorder. (Her spending, in particular, would be symptomatic of that.) Today Mary could be successfully treated with modern medications. I so wish there would be a reexamination of Mary Todd Lincoln, taking into account her lifetime of loss and untreated psychiatric illness.
Thank you soo much for these articles! I love all the historical information, it’s hard to find such well put together information and detail. I laughed a few times because You narrate like my late grandmother did about people that were ridiculous or things she didn’t approve of, polite but you get the point. LOL! I look forward to perusal more
Unfortunately for Mary Todd she was a very self-centered woman, so any slight or tragedy was the worst that could ever happen to a person in her eyes. So I can imagine how hysterical she was when real tragedy actually struck her. She was not built to endure very much of anything. She was known to use her tragedies to manipulate people to get what she wanted
Very comprehensive telling of the sad life of Mary Todd Lincoln. I would’ve appreciated the photos/illustrations to be better in sync with the narrative. Toward the end is a portrait of author Jane Austen – I think mistakenly used for Queen Victoria. Please check your graphics. Otherwise the narrative is well done.
Her son Robert had a special kind of hate for his mother. He tortured her while having her committed to many psychiatric hospitals, one at which I worked. The history was accessible. Her son went out of his way to show cruelty and contempt for his poor mother by inviting public and personal humiliation toward her.
She is my favourite first lady…despite being from a pro rebel family, she was as fierce a patriot as anyone and supported her husband 100%..she gets a bad rap but the tragedy of children dying and her husband was too much for her and I would say anybody..visiting Union hospitals regularly ..her tenure as first lady was the worst of any..for this reason..she gets my vote…Hillary and Michelle and Jill at the very bottom
I just enjoy hearing about how they were such a power couple, and despite their issues, totally in love, especially during a time where misogyny was so accepted. Lincoln was a true gentleman of his time! And Mary was truly a powerful woman. She held her own but also always had her husband’s back. And was so strong. They both were! I can’t believe her own SON betrayed her like that, seemingly to get his hands on her money. Foul play. It seems Lincoln was the only man who had any respect for her… she had some problems but she didn’t seem bad enough to warrant the treatment she received. My goodness….. hopefully she rests in peace with her husband and Tad now.
I thoroughly enjoyed your stories about Mary Todd Lincoln. My older brother, built like Abraham Lincoln and with a very similar personality, married a Mrs. Lincoln. He only made it to the age of 28 and was blessed to leave this life. He was battered emotionally and possibly physically, and had a tender heart, so it split open.
The warm winter sunshine on your hair, the color of bronze, copper, and gold. Some strands are as thick as spun silver, unruly, some with a mind of one’s own. Flecks of dust flying around your head animated by the air stirred by the swish of wool and cotton. Beautiful visuals punctuated by laughter. I loved it all on this cold, wet, dark day in Portland on the left coast.
This is so sad. And some of the comments make me sad. Mrs Lincoln had mental health issues. NO one on this earth wants to be uncomfortable with mental illness. If she had lived a century latter …. she could have taken meds, talking therepy, done yoga etc. NO ONE wants to feel crummy . May she rest in peace.
Because of the sadness, disappointment and tragedy she suffered, she put on a public mask. We should never completely believe the public persona of famous people. There are always reasons that people are like they are. Please, don’t judge her too harshly. I would say that about anyone. Everyone is welcome to their own opinion, however.
They didn’t have help for people with mental health issues. They tended to fear them because of their own frailties. The way her son treated her is a disgrace. I didn’t really get along well with my mother but I’ve never treated her like that. Also women were treated like garbage back then if you didn’t have a husband or some kind of male support you were left at the mercy of people. Her story shows that. Any person that has had someone die by a gunshot next to them is going to have post-traumatic stress disorder
My decision not to join your Civil War Threads is due to the one sided story of Mary Todd Lincoln. Not only did you concertrate on her negative stories, the narration was done in an accusing, humiliating voice. I’ve studied Mrs. Lincoln for a long time using different biographies and research. She was a misunderstood woman and most likely did have mental health issues. But that was not her fault. Her son was a terrible man and also had a difficult with his father also. There were many good things she did during Lincoln’s Presidency. She was surely treated badly and given no financial help from the government. How many women suffered more than she with the deaths of her sons and husband. Even though she grew up in the south, she was not ever a racist. She supported Lincoln’s efforts to free slavery. Anyway, I will not join your Civil War tapestry threads because in this presentation of Mary Lincoln you did not report her life without very telling bias.
It probably was more than a little difficult for Mary Todd Lincoln being the wife of a President in wartime. Especially Abraham Lincoln, who had regular visits with his ‘black dog’. This mini-bio would be better served exploring how this woman was able to live-through all her experiences during the temporary insanity of the Civil War. Maybe shopping is the key.
I enjoyed this article, but the photograph at 5:25 is Kate Chase Sprague, Washington society figure and daughter of Lincoln’s Secretary of the Treasury, Salmon P. Chase. She became the wife of the Governor of Rhode Island, William Sprague, whom she divorced. She was a great social enemy of Mary Lincoln.
Both historians & psychologists were almost exclusively male & hence their judgements & ‘knowledge’ were misogynistic. Women even now are judged negatively if they’re ‘too’ opinionated, vocal, not ‘attractive’ or politically active. She had had many losses & insecure attachments which made for a very difficult childhood. This would make her insecure & no doubt anxious & depressed. Nursing her children for 2 years shows she was a caring & attentive mother. Imagine then having 2 of them die as children! She was naturally devestated! Women are still regarded as too emotional in our still male-dominated country! Lincoln suferred from chronic depression & feeling suicidal, which made her very anxious about him & was difficult for them both. Which was why they attended plays so often, to distract him from his melancholy & then constant agony about the Civil War. She had PTSD for heaven sakes! She reviewed the troops, visited hospitals & was a great hostess. Yet she was constantly criticized whatever she did, said or wore. Then came the shocking loss of her dearest husband who was murdered beside her! As she mourned him, crying & wailing, she was dragged away from his body, someone saying, “Get this hysterical woman out of here!” Unimaginable despair! These events more than explain her ‘mental illnesses’. Then another loss, Tad at 18, who had been so close to her died. Adding insult on injury, her olest son Robert declared her insane! His evidence? ‘Excessive grieving’ & unnecessary spending, another heart-breaking rejection.
I have only one complaint — there was a modern day photo of a teen dressed in an old-fashioned dress which perhaps made unknowing viewers think that was Mary and it clearly was not. If you don’t have a photo of the person try to find a photo of their birthplace, or the general landscape into which the person was born. I did like the drawing of her as a teen. That was a historical portrait. And at the end there was a picture of Jane Austen. What the heck was she doing there? If you cannot locate a photo of Mary as an aged woman, then do not substitute something else that others might realize is just visual filler. Because if we can tell you used a pic of Austen, then what else, we wonder, did you fudge on? Hm.
Wow! Well done. I cherish the Lincoln family for reasons unknown to me. Perhaps because my father resembled President Lincoln. Perhaps because I admire his grit and successes. Idk. I’ve always thought First Lady Lincoln had a sad and disappointing life. Your portrayal is quite interesting and I appreciate the information. Subscribing to see what you have to offer. Thank you again for what seems to me to be an unbiased review of First Lady Lincoln.
Perhaps Dolly Madison began it..but Mary Todd Lincoln solidified it….there have been a few First Ladies who stood out…the first was Dolly Madison..but not too much….then came Mary Lincoln, who suffered more than even Jacqueline Kennedy..and those two have a LOT in common. Mary Lincoln has been so villified…for no reason. She was holding her husband’s hand when a bullet entered his head and splattered his brains on her…oh, yes, Jacqueline Kennedy had the same experience. Very few First Ladies are remembered.. and the very strong majority of those, were women who were dominant and outgoing. Teddy Roosevelt had no wife..she died tragically…by he had daughter Alice who was one of the most interesting characters in American political history….and then cousin Eleanor Roosevelt…so intelligent…was so far ahead of the her time…articles, radio shows, films…anything to take her causes to success…and she continued into her old age at the UN….Bess Truman…one who hated being First Lady…but a strong forceful person on her husband…..Mamie Eisenhower as the epitome of the fake 50’s…think pink….then the aristocratic Jackie Kennedy…beautiful, so rich….perfect in every way…art, antiques, classical music…to life America up…a young mother…pregnant in the White House!!! And John John born…his father’s legacy.
It’s kind of sad that most of the Historical writings about her seem to be from men, many who did not like her. Maybe Abe didn’t see her in the same light as they did? He may have enjoyed the wife he had very much and loved her spitfire ways. being melancholy himself he may have understood her better. Sad that her only living son seemed to think of her as a burden only.
I’m Mary Todd’s cousin and also relative to Nancy Hanks Abe’s mother The Tolbots Todd’s Brann Chandler Tapp family is all of Mary’s cousins from Kentucky My grandmother was Elizabeth Tapp her mother my Great grandmother was Dolly Chandler Haddie Tolbot was also a hell cat and the other cousin that was with her was tall thin and looked like Nancy Hanks All born in Kentucky Henderson, Louisville Haddie was wearing a necklace and earrings that looked like something that a Queen would wear the cousins did inherit items from Mary She was also a friend of Queen 👑 Victoria and She’s also in my DNA also Abe’s mother Nancy So so maybe someone was sleeping with cousins and how did Queen 👑 Victoria get mixed up in my DNA along with Mary’s and the rest of my mother’s cousins? 😮 I honestly believe that necklace and earrings were either Mary’s or Queen 👑 Victoria’s 😮 Mary was crazy especially after hearing this Haddie said that Mary would throw large raw potatoes at Abe like throwing rocks! 😮 This was about 1975 I would like to find out who married whom and how did Queen 👑 Victoria also become my DNA
Paul Harvey did a radio show called “The Rest of the Story” and he had a story about a woman that was so abusive to her husband that she would hide around doorways and hit her husband in the head with a frying pan. Then he would say that woman was Mary Lincoln. Can anyone tell me is this true? It’s bugged me for 40 years😂 I forgot to add that she would react violently towards her husband because he wouldn’t buy her a new dress because “mother we are in a war”
I’ve always thought that Mary Lincoln is one of the saddest historical personages that I know of. So sad that of all her sons, it was only the horrible Robert who survived. I think it very true that she was a difficult woman, but I think it’s worth noting that William Herndon hated her, so his opinion is a biased one.
I clicked on this expecting an unbiased historical account. The narrator sounds as though he hates her and obviously, he never met the woman. So what if she liked to shop. So what if she was outspoken and ambitious. Lincoln saw something in her that made him decide to make her his wife. Who cares if a bunch of Washington snobs didn’t like her. She went through a lot in her life and she probably was afflicted with some sort of mental illness. I feel for her.
❗She was a cutie pie sweetheart of her county, compare that picture with ANY OTHER of the era, they look like dragons, here was this minx of a girl, pretty, petite, intelligent, no makeup, bright expressive eyes, big winning smile and breeding, and said what she thought, it’s easy to see how she won him over !
Mary Lincoln spent a month in my hometown of Jacksonville, Florida in the 1870s, I believe shortly before she was sent to the sanitarium. and the house where she stayed is still standing. It’s interesting that she had such a strong connection to the confederacy and was from a family that owned slaves. The bitter relationship she had with her son Robert was really tragic. On the flipside, her behavior as first lady was an embarrassment. I have always pitied Abraham Lincoln for having to lead during the most devastating time in American history while having a diva as a wife.
Several comments here tell me better writers could have done this lady better. 10 minutes in and I’m disgusted at the language this narrator uses. Do better! It’s 21 century and the hate for women in this narration seethes. Maybe that’s just style but a complete turn off. I’ll find out more re Ms Todd elsewhere thanks
This would be a very informative article but why does the narrator speak almost like he’s announcing a circus act. I finally got fed up with this annoying melodramatic way of speaking and ended the article. It would be nice if this article was presented again but with a different narrator, one who speaks in a more controlled and sophisticated manner.