Is It Self-Centered To Leave Family Behind And Move On?

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Moving away from family can be a difficult decision, especially if you’re close. The distance can be challenging to overcome, and the effort it takes to remain in each other’s lives may test your relationship. Some people already live near family and are contemplating whether or not it’s time to make the move away.

It’s not a selfish thing to do when someone wants to do something to better themselves in some way. Sometimes leaving people behind as we grow is essential. It’s scary to think of uprooting your life and changing direction and deciding to walk away from a dysfunctional familial environment.

Moving far from family provides opportunities to appreciate your home more, become more self-reliant, and choose new friends and become who you want. Guilting someone else is a form of self-preservation and thinking about their own needs and preferences. Moving away from family or other loved ones to blaze your own path in a new place can feel like the most selfish thing in the world.

For some, moving away from family is easy, but leaving friends and families was hard. It’s also ok to be selfish, as sometimes life takes you a different way and you have to make the decisions that you think are best for you and your family. Moving away from family is one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made, and it doesn’t get easier each time you move or say goodbye.

In conclusion, moving away from family can be a difficult decision, especially if you’re close. The distance can be a challenge to overcome, and the amount of effort it takes to remain in each other’s lives may test your relationship. If the person is a jerk, selfish, or an energy vampire, it may be time to reevaluate the people you keep in your circle. Letting go is hard, and it’s important to remember that moving away from family is not selfish.

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How Does Being Away From Family Affect You
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How Does Being Away From Family Affect You?

Running away from home can deeply impact mental health, leading to stress, trauma, social isolation, and substance abuse. Initial feelings often include overwhelming guilt, complicating decisions about personal well-being. While living away from family presents a path toward independence and personal growth, it simultaneously introduces challenges such as homesickness, which can manifest emotional distress in unfamiliar settings. Moving away can foster independence and the opportunity to create a unique family culture, but it can also cause feelings of loss and loneliness.

Research indicates that distance from family can contribute to loneliness and dissatisfaction with social connections. Adapting to a new environment often disrupts established routines, potentially increasing anxiety and distress. The shift can be daunting as existing habits may not provide comfort in a new cultural context. However, maintaining communication through technology helps mitigate feelings of isolation, allowing for a sense of responsibility as individuals navigate life away from familial support.

Ultimately, while moving away from family may lead to feelings of disconnection or guilt, it can also serve as a significant catalyst for personal agency and growth, encouraging new experiences and relationships. Embracing this transition requires a balance of acknowledging emotions while exploring opportunities for self-discovery amidst the challenges of separation from loved ones.

Should You Leave Your Family Behind
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Should You Leave Your Family Behind?

Leaving family behind can be challenging, especially when strong bonds exist. The guilt associated with such decisions often weighs heavily, whether due to familial pressure or personal feelings. While moving closer to family may be considered beneficial, sometimes distance is necessary for personal well-being. The notion of honoring parents, as stated in Exodus 20:12, implies that leaving should be done with love and respect for their sacrifices. Staying in an unhealthy environment may hinder personal growth, whereas moving away allows for self-discovery, new friendships, and a chance to create a life more aligned with one's aspirations.

Following one's path, particularly in a spiritual context, may require physical separation from family. Such transitions can also enhance appreciation for one’s home and promote independence. Although reactions to leaving may be negative—often influenced by familial expectations—individuals have the right to seek healthier environments, even if that means severing ties with toxic relationships. Preparing for this transition involves emotional readiness and recognition of the feelings involved.

Ultimately, the commandment to honor parents underscores the importance of departing with respect, aiding in establishing a legacy and nurturing one's future while navigating the complexities of familial dynamics.

What Does Emotional Abandonment Look Like
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What Does Emotional Abandonment Look Like?

Emotional abandonment in a relationship manifests through various signs. Communication often revolves around mundane topics, lacking depth or emotional connection. A noticeable absence of physical intimacy can signify neglect of affection, while a lack of empathy may leave one partner unhappy without a clear understanding of the issue. Emotional abandonment is characterized by feelings of rejection and loneliness when one’s emotional needs are unmet.

Individuals experiencing abandonment trauma often face emotional instability, insecurity, and intense emotional responses to neglect. Within marriages, partners may withdraw emotionally to avoid conflict, leading to feelings of disapproval and distance. This emotional disconnect can present itself in different attachment styles, especially avoidant attachment, where individuals struggle to form close relationships. Emotional abuse, which might not involve physical violence, can exacerbate feelings of worthlessness.

Recognizing emotional abandonment includes identifying feelings of isolation, sadness, and a compulsive need for distraction to cope with pain. Overall, it is essential to acknowledge and address these issues for healing and healthier relationships.

Is It OK To Be Distant From Your Family
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Is It OK To Be Distant From Your Family?

It’s perfectly acceptable not to share the same perspectives or emotional closeness as your family, particularly in cases of abusive or toxic dynamics. If you feel stunted in your personal growth due to your parents’ influences or if your relationship with them negatively impacts your parenting, you may need to consider creating emotional distance. Research indicates that family estrangement is more common than perceived, with factors such as abuse, neglect, or emotional immaturity contributing to it.

While distancing oneself from family can be emotionally challenging, recent surveys reveal that approximately 27% of individuals are estranged from a family member, and this number might be even higher.

Recognizing unhealthy behaviors like poor communication or breached boundaries helps in understanding familial disconnects. Seeking professional support can aid in navigating the complex emotions tied to estrangement. It’s crucial to acknowledge that prioritizing your well-being may require establishing distance from toxic family dynamics. Many individuals grapple with guilt about doing so due to societal norms surrounding familial loyalty.

However, it’s vital to realize that you deserve a supportive environment for your personal growth. Distancing can lead to improved mental health, and it is okay to find peace in such decisions, even if it means redefining family ties.

Is It Okay To Walk Away From A Toxic Sibling
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Is It Okay To Walk Away From A Toxic Sibling?

Letting go of toxic siblings can be challenging, as it often feels counterintuitive and causes guilt. However, prioritizing your mental health is crucial. One must accept that change in them is unlikely and recognize toxic signs in their behavior, which may include dismissiveness or relentless negativity. The process of stepping away from such relationships is valid and can lead to healing. Although it might cause emotional turmoil, escaping toxic dynamics is essential for personal well-being.

Defining boundaries is a key step, and it’s vital to trust your feelings. If interactions leave you drained or anxious, it may be time to reassess the relationship. Recognize that not all siblings will provide the ideal bond, and a toxic sibling relationship can mirror harmful friendships. Walking away doesn’t mean severing all connections but creating space to foster self-care.

When seeking to navigate these relationships, consider clear boundary setting, enlisting family therapy, or cutting ties when harmful patterns reinforce negativity in your life. To identify a toxic sibling, watch for red flags, such as a refusal to accept fault or consistent undermining of your feelings. Ultimately, purposely distancing yourself from their drama can facilitate personal growth and healing, reminding you that prioritizing your health is never an act of malice.

Is It Selfish To Leave A Family
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Is It Selfish To Leave A Family?

It's natural to feel guilty about moving away from family and friends, but wanting to prioritize your happiness doesn't make you selfish. Many face similar dilemmas, as roughly 25% of adults experience estrangement from their families, often due to toxic dynamics or boundary violations. If you're contemplating a move, research is crucial—look into crime rates, living costs, and the overall suitability of the area for your lifestyle. It’s not uncommon for family members to create guilt around leaving, pressuring you with feelings of abandonment.

However, recognizing the signs of a toxic family can empower you to set necessary boundaries. Sometimes, making the decision to move away, while challenging, is essential for personal well-being and the well-being of your immediate family. Your desire to create a fulfilling life shouldn't be overshadowed by guilt or unspoken family obligations. Experts emphasize that it's perfectly okay to cut ties with harmful relationships when needed. The truth is, self-care is critical for a healthy future, even if that means stepping away from familial expectations.

Many who initially view moving as selfish eventually realize it's a step towards greater happiness and self-fulfillment. Essentially, making choices that prioritize your well-being, such as relocating or changing your life circumstances, can ultimately lead to healthier family dynamics and personal growth.

Why Am I Moving Away From My Family
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Why Am I Moving Away From My Family?

Moving away from family can be a challenging decision filled with emotional weight. No matter the reason—be it pursuing a promising job, seeking more affordable living conditions, or a desire for personal growth—the transition often stirs feelings of guilt, especially if family ties are strong or complicated. People commonly experience long-distance relationships with friends, siblings, or colleagues when moving. The logistical aspects of relocating—such as the costs of moving, securing housing, and finding employment—add to the complexities of the decision.

This choice can evoke anxiety, particularly concerning potential homesickness and the fear of losing connections. Many may dream of distancing themselves from dysfunction in their family dynamics, yet the act of moving can lead to deep introspection about one's reasons and the potential fallout. While it might feel isolating, moving can also foster personal development and self-reliance. It's crucial to weigh both the pros and cons, ensuring the reasons for relocating are compelling enough to justify the emotional challenges that might arise. Ultimately, while separating from family can be heart-wrenching, it can also lead to valuable self-discovery, new friendships, and a healthier perspective on personal needs and relationships.

Is It OK To Walk Away From Family
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Is It OK To Walk Away From Family?

It may be necessary to cut ties with a toxic family member if you or your child start dreading visits due to their negative interactions. Dr. emphasizes the importance of recognizing that time apart is vital for mental health. Understanding the signs of a toxic family dynamic can help protect one’s mental and physical well-being. Approximately 25% of adults are estranged from their families, often due to boundary violations and emotional manipulation. Leaving behind such relationships can be challenging but is sometimes crucial for mental health, even regarding parents.

The discussion of toxic family dynamics emphasizes that abuse—whether emotional, mental, physical, or verbal—validates the need to sever ties. Finding support from friends, therapists, or hotlines is essential during this process. Recognizing that a family can be unsafe allows individuals to justify their decision to distance themselves. Experts suggest assessing toxic relationships and establishing boundaries as key steps. Ultimately, it’s a personal decision to determine the level of contact that feels healthy.

The liberation experienced from leaving harmful dynamics can outweigh feelings of guilt. Remember, taking breaks from family can be necessary for evaluating personal well-being, and you are not alone in this struggle. Studies indicate that a significant portion of Americans has cut ties with at least one family member during their lives.

When Should You Call It Quits With Family
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When Should You Call It Quits With Family?

Determining whether to end a relationship with a family member, particularly one who is randomly abusive, can be challenging. If no behavioral patterns emerge and there are no benefits to maintaining the connection, it might be wise to sever ties. Recognizing when to call it quits in a blended family can be particularly difficult. Signs to look for include your partner exhibiting jealousy or feelings for someone else, as these indicate deeper issues that may be irreparable.

Ending an unhealthy relationship is a personal decision, and consulting friends, family, or a professional can provide clarity. It's vital to avoid prolonged stays in a relationship just to prevent conflict; if you sense the relationship’s end is imminent, addressing it sooner can be healthier. Considerations for ending relationships include evaluating if interactions primarily invoke negativity or draining emotions. If more time spent together feels like competition, it might be an indicator that things need reevaluation.

Before finalizing decisions, reflect deeply on your happiness and circumstances. Although divorce and its alternatives present complex options, awareness of your emotional state and needs is crucial. Ultimately, when communication falters and only negative interactions persist, it could be the right moment to call it quits. Prioritize your well-being and that of your children when assessing the continued viability of the relationship.

Is It Selfish To Be A Parent
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Is It Selfish To Be A Parent?

The decision to prioritize one's own needs over familial obligations can feel like selfishness, but it can also be a necessary act of self-care for individuals and their immediate families. Many parents experience emotional challenges linked to narcissistic behaviors, which often deny children their independent selfhood and manipulate them for the parents' own satisfaction. Unlike healthy parental expectations aimed at a child's benefit, narcissistic parents impose their dreams on their children, fostering issues like poor self-esteem and codependency.

Children react differently to selfish parenting; some comply with their parents' demands, while others push back, seeking validation from outside sources. The complex dynamic often leads children of narcissistic parents to become people pleasers. Conversely, a psychologist emphasizes the importance of parents being selfish in the context of self-care, as it models healthy behavior for children.

Contemplating parenthood amidst environmental concerns raises questions about selfishness in bringing children into a precarious world. Critics argue that not wanting children can also be viewed as a form of selfishness. Ultimately, it's vital to recognize the importance of well-being for both parents and children, as self-neglect can lead to resentment and emotional turmoil within family relationships. The challenge remains to balance personal fulfillment with the responsibilities of parenthood.

How Do You Know If Moving Is The Right Decision
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How Do You Know If Moving Is The Right Decision?

Reflecting on feelings of being out of place is vital when contemplating a move. Regular complaints about the city, feelings of being trapped, or a gut instinct indicating something's wrong can signal it's time for relocation. Having a solid reason for moving—be it starting anew, finding a job, enrolling in college, or being closer to loved ones—can guide your decision. It's essential to consider if moving aligns with your values and to have a thorough plan and budget in place.

Fear is a natural response when contemplating change; however, it doesn't indicate you're making the wrong choice. You must listen to your instincts but evaluate carefully. Key signals can help determine if relocating is appropriate, such as whether you think a new place will increase your happiness or if you're trying to escape past issues. In addition, if a job opportunity arises, consider the implications of moving.

Ultimately, you alone can decide what’s best for you, relying on your personal feelings and the long-term impact on your family. Investigating the safety and livability of a potential new area is crucial. Each decision we face daily influences our lives, so trust your inner voice while exploring new opportunities.


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Freya Gardon

Hi, I’m Freya Gardon, a Collaborative Family Lawyer with nearly a decade of experience at the Brisbane Family Law Centre. Over the years, I’ve embraced diverse roles—from lawyer and content writer to automation bot builder and legal product developer—all while maintaining a fresh and empathetic approach to family law. Currently in my final year of Psychology at the University of Wollongong, I’m excited to blend these skills to assist clients in innovative ways. I’m passionate about working with a team that thinks differently, and I bring that same creativity and sincerity to my blog about family law.

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15 comments

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  • My mom (and now my sister) used to go away for a long mother’s day weekend by herself. It would usually be a localish trip within 5 hours drive (mountains vs. beach). On Sunday evening when she came back we would plan a fun dinner or take her out. It became an awesome tradition. Also, her being away gave us time to prepare surprises.

  • John is right about the dirt bike expenses. Not such a cheap hobby. Regardless, the husband allows himself down time away from the family, but balks when the wife wants the same? That’s what it is, down time… time away from responsibilities. My husband is a homebody and does not like to travel. He’s always encouraged me to take a trip now and again with girlfriends or my sister.

  • I honestly can’t vacation with my husband! He’s an extrovert and I’m an introvert. Our vacations have sucked bc while he wanted to do all the outgoing things, all I wanted to do was laze around by the pool, beach, the bed, watch a movie, read a book, etc. I don’t have to go on a trip but he goes on hunting trips which gives me quiet time at home.

  • Been here. What was the solution? Dad took a trip, I took a trip, and then we took a family trip. It wasn’t every year, just in a very hard year, which is why we had a separate trip fund. We never felt guilty and our children LOVED one on one time. Don’t feel guilty, don’t let your husband make you feel guilty, and don’t do it every year. Have fun

  • If she said she wants to go away for a couple of months for sure that is selfish. This doesn’t seem like that. If she wants to go away with a few girlfriend for a 3 to 4 days weekend sure that is perfectly fine. It can even be encouraged liked Dr. John says. We all need some time away once and awhile. It is healthy.

  • Answer to title question: Don’t we all?!? Want to vacation without our family!?! Sometimes? Especially parents of like lots of young kids! Congratulations, you are human. Not to mention all the things you are doing on top of momming. Whoahow! You deserve a periodic break where you don’t have to take care of anything but yourself and can go to the spa – have all your meals made and cleaned up for you instead of the other way around – take a gal pal or three – so much fun, relax, unwind… recharge for you, Momma. That way resentments agains the needs you’re constantly expected to fill will have a chance to air out and depressurize. The fact that he is keeping score and feeling jilted or calling you selfish for getting your needs met seems insecure and frustrating. You get to be human however you need to be. If he doesn’t like that, that’s not your problem, that’s his ;o) This is what he chose. To be with a woman. Probably a woman he wants to support so she could be at her best. If you are so run down you can’t be around them anymore and your joy is found without their constant needs… then that will be a bigger problem. A snowball. If he supports your needs periodically then you can recharge and stay mentally healthy for them and for you and they will be refreshing and fun if you feel good about you.

  • As a husband myself, its hard to give support when it seems like the other person is trying to do something to run away from something else. I feel uneasy for example, when my wife wants to go happy hour because she had a stressful day at work. When my wife comes to me and asks to do something that gives her joy even though it doesn’t involve me, I help her out the door in a hurry.

  • I went on a week long vacation on my birthday every year and it did wonders for my family life and myself. I was able to sleep and eat my favourite food, go to art galleries (my husband was not interested). A whole week free of self sacrifice was heaven. My husband was always able to do the same, however he never really did, maybe once. He preferred to hang with the boys for weekend trips throughout the year. It’s such a great idea to spend time being with your own self. I always went on my own ❤

  • I can only image how selfish this husband is in other aspects of their relationship. He makes excuses and reasons for things that benefit him the most, then he beats his wife over the head with guilt and illogical and untruths so that she stays put and does what he wants her to do. I never understand how people get so easily roped into relationships with people this selfish and dismissive. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who takes vacations at their leisure then makes up an excuse as to why I couldn’t do the same.

  • She said MLM consultant. Is this an MLM convention/trip? Maybe he doesn’t like that. But if he can dirt bike trip away from families, I don’t see why she can’t get some time away from family as well if it’s reasonably budgeted. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. That’s how my husband and I have gauged what activities are unreasonable vs reasonable. If he says no to me, then it’s an automatic no to him for similar scenarios/activities. And vice versa. So we have to think twice before shutting the other down immediately and see if we’re being selfish or not, and if we would allow ourselves to do something while trying to tell the other they could not.

  • If this is a husband that cannot raise his children by himself then they will not allow the wife to leave. Too many women have babies with men who then cannot take care of their own kids. If you drop dead tomorrow and your husband can’t dress, feed, know where your child’s school is, their teachers name, bed time routine, doctors, then you need to re evaluate. You are not guaranteed in life and husbands should not be treating you as such.

  • LOL, the husband doesn’t realize how much he’s hurting himself. Believe me, I’ve been exactly there, in his exact shoes, said the same thing to my wife. He needs to see it as an investment. Would you spend $400-800 to instantly gain a happier life? I don’t know many people who wouldn’t find a way to make that happen.

  • From my perspective, and being a ex-wife to someone who hunted all the time, that takes up a lot of time. I’m sure the husband hast to take care of the kids while she’s in the Deerstand, which is usually from sun up to sundown. And it sounds like she does it on a regular basis for a few months. He probably needs some time with her. my husband was gone all the time while I had to be the single mother because he wanted to hunt. It really created a lot of resentment on my end because I never had any breaks.

  • I think John said a lot of good things, but I want more information. Do they really have the money to do everything? They might not have the money to send her on a trip AND do something on a family. Also, if this is connected to being in an MLM? If so the husband may be reluctant as MLM retreats often encourage participants to put more money into the MLM. Also, I agree that marriage can’t and shouldn’t be tit for tat, but there are ways to have some equality without it turning into that. We have a joint account where almost all of our money is, but we also have separate smaller accounts, one for each of us. Each money we put the same amount of money in it. If I want craft supplies that’s where that comes from. If my husband wants to save for a trip or something expensive he has his account. We aren’t super strict with it, but it’s a general way to ensure that we are equitable.

  • Your husband doesn’t want to get stuck taking care of the kids. That’s the issue. It’s not the price, it’s not you being gone. It’s he doesn’t want to be a dad and stuck home with a 4 and 2 year old. Find a babysitter for those days you’re gone so you’re husband won’t be all upset that he has to do something more for the family.

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