Focus on the Family, a fundamentalist Protestant organization, has faced allegations of practicing and endorsing “gay conversion therapy”. The organization has raised over $515 million in the past five years, making it one of the largest LGBTQ+ organizations. Focus on the Family is committed to upholding God’s design for the expression of human sexuality, focusing on marriage and family.
Conversion therapy is a pseudoscience intervention that purports to alter same-sex attractions or an individual’s gender expression with the specific aim of imposing heterosexuality as the goal. While some evangelical churches, pastors, and mental health professionals have been accused of offering or promoting “conversion therapy”, Focus on the Family remains committed to its core beliefs: gay is bad and gays can change.
The organization suggests that marriage equality will bring the destruction of civilization and has referred to the children of some 20 US states as “conversion therapy” for minors. However, an undercover investigation by openDemocracy found that two out of three individuals seek these treatments voluntarily.
Despite controversy, state bans, and warnings from mental health professionals, treatments continue in some religious communities. Focus on the Family (FOTF) is a fundamentalist Protestant organization founded in 1977 in Southern California by James Dobson. House Bill 1129 would prohibit licensed psychiatrists or mental health counselors from providing therapy to minors meant to “change an individual’s sexual”.
Focus on the Family has faced criticism for making false claims about the LGBTQ community based on discredited research and junk science, with the intention to dehumanize LGBTQ people.
| Article | Description | Site |
|---|---|---|
| Resources: Homosexuality | We reach out with compassion and respect to individuals, families, and churches affected by homosexuality. These resources may be helpful as a starting point. | focusonthefamily.com |
| 10 Things You Should Know About Focus On The Family | In fact, the organization suggests that marriage equality will bring the destruction of civilization, and it has referred to the children of … | hrc.org |
| US Christian Right group accused of promoting anti- … | Some 20 US states have introduced bans on ‘conversion therapy‘ for minors – but an undercover investigation by openDemocracy found that two … | opendemocracy.net |
📹 James Dobson & Focus on the Family
CW: Child abuse, conversion therapy, homophobia, murder Patreon https://www.patreon.com/fundiefridays Instagram …
Is Conversion Therapy Bad For Your Mental Health?
Research consistently demonstrates that conversion therapy is linked to adverse mental health outcomes, including depression, substance abuse, and an elevated risk of suicidality among LGBTQ+ individuals. Despite efforts by various governments to limit or ban this harmful practice, it continues in certain regions. The overwhelming evidence indicates that conversion therapy not only fails to work but also inflicts significant harm, contradicting the unfounded belief that non-cisgender and non-heterosexual identities need correction.
LGBTQIA+ youth subjected to conversion practices report heightened mental health challenges, with studies revealing a strong association with conditions like PTSD. Major health organizations and advocates, such as NAMI, support the legislation to ban these discredited methods, which falsely categorize diverse sexual orientations and gender identities as mental illnesses. Conversion therapy’s damaging effects, including increased depression and internalized homophobia, have been well-documented.
Instead of correction, affirmative therapy is recommended, which could lead to improved mental health outcomes and significant societal cost savings. Thus, conversion therapy is shown to be not only ineffective but profoundly detrimental to LGBTQIA+ individuals and public health overall.
Is Conversion Therapy Still Happening?
The report "It's Still Happening," produced by The Trevor Project, is the result of extensive research initiated in 2018, which focuses on the ongoing prevalence of conversion therapy practices in the United States. Despite common misconceptions that such practices are fading, the report underscores the disturbing reality that conversion therapy practitioners continue to exist in large numbers nationwide. The discredited practice, aimed at changing an individual's sexual orientation or gender identity, is banned in 22 states and the District of Columbia; however, it remains legal in many others.
The research reveals that over 1, 320 conversion therapy practitioners operate across 48 states, including regions where no laws exist to prohibit the practice. Alarmingly, trans individuals report experiencing conversion therapy at higher rates than their gay and lesbian counterparts. While societal acknowledgment of the dangers of conversion therapy has increased, many LGBTQIA+ individuals still face this harmful pseudoscience.
The report highlights both the legislative gaps in protections and the necessity for continued advocacy to prevent such practices against vulnerable populations that attempt to suppress or change their identities.
Are LGBTQ+ Young People Being Threatened By Conversion Therapy?
The Trevor Project's 2023 U. S. National Survey on the Mental Health of LGBTQ Young People revealed alarming statistics: 1 in 20 LGBTQ+ youth reported experiencing conversion therapy, with an additional 10 threatened by it. This practice, linked to lasting harm, significantly increases the risk of depression and suicide among LGBTQ youth. Specifically, nearly 27% of LGBTQ youth who underwent conversion therapy attempted suicide within the last year.
Although 22 states have outlawed conversion therapy for minors, over 1, 320 practitioners remain active, even in states with bans. In Michigan, Governor Gretchen Whitmer signed bipartisan bills to prohibit this harmful practice. Moreover, the survey highlighted that 21% of LGBTQ youth in Kentucky reported experiencing conversion therapy threats or practices, with marginalized groups like transgender and nonbinary youth being disproportionately affected.
Conversion therapy, regarded as dangerous and discredited, continues to target LGBTQ individuals, exacerbating mental health issues. Efforts to eradicate such practices are evident, as demonstrated by legislation aimed at protecting LGBTQ youth from these detrimental experiences. Overall, the Trevor Project's findings emphasize the urgent need for action to safeguard the mental well-being of LGBTQ young people and eradicate conversion therapy across the U. S.
How Does Conversion Therapy Affect Young People?
Conversion therapy adversely impacts individuals, particularly minors, who are more susceptible to its harmful effects. Young people undergoing these discredited practices often face significant mental health challenges, including depression, anxiety, drug use, homelessness, and an increased risk of suicide. Research indicates that approximately 508, 892 LGBTQ youth in the U. S. are at risk, with studies linking childhood exposure to conversion therapy to detrimental health outcomes in adulthood.
This range of practices, often labeled as reparative therapy, falsely aims to alter an individual’s sexual orientation or gender identity, based on the erroneous belief that non-heterosexual or non-cisgender identities are undesirable. Extensive evidence suggests that individuals identifying as LGBTQ+ who have experienced conversion therapy are more prone to poor mental health and suicidal behaviors. Moreover, these harmful practices are not only emotionally damaging but also carry a hefty financial burden for individuals and society, estimated at $9.
23 billion annually. In conclusion, attempts to change sexual orientation or gender identity are entirely unsupported by science and are linked to significant negative psychological consequences for LGBTQ individuals.
What Is Conversion Therapy?
Conversion therapy is a discredited and pseudoscientific practice aimed at forcing LGBTQ+ individuals to change their sexual orientation or gender identity to conform to heterosexual and cisgender norms. Also known as "reparative therapy," it encompasses various harmful methods purported to convert individuals to heterosexuality or traditional gender identities. The British Psychological Society (BPS) describes conversion therapy as attempts to suppress an individual’s sexual orientation or gender identification.
Medical and mental health professionals widely reject conversion therapy due to its ineffectiveness and potential for harm. Various laws across the U. S. prohibit conversion therapy for minors, although gaps in protection still exist. Critics argue that such practices are abusive, particularly towards LGBTQ youth, and lead to significant psychological distress. Efforts to change a person's sexual orientation or gender identity, labeled broadly under conversion therapy, lack scientific validation and are not considered legitimate treatment.
In summary, conversion therapy targets the LGBTQ+ community with damaging implications, and the government is moving towards banning such practices altogether. Affirmative therapy is highlighted as a beneficial alternative, focusing on the acceptance and exploration of one's sexual orientation and gender identity, rather than seeking to change them.
What Happens If You Survive Conversion Therapy?
Conversion therapy, also known as reparative therapy or ex-gay therapy, encompasses a range of harmful practices that falsely claim to alter an individual’s sexual orientation or gender identity. These methods may involve verbal, physical, and sexual abuse, forced medical interventions, or imprisonment. Survivors often report experiencing severe mental health issues including anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts, stemming from the suppression of their true selves that these therapies demand.
Research indicates a correlation between exposure to conversion therapy and negative outcomes such as higher rates of unemployment, substance abuse, and increased suicidal ideation. This practice operates under the misconception that being LGBTQ+ is a mental illness that requires a ‘cure.’ Despite condemnation from leading mental health organizations, conversion therapy remains legal in many U. S. states, reflecting societal stigma against LGBTQ+ identities.
Notably, individuals exposed to these practices are statistically more likely to contemplate or attempt suicide. Documentaries, survivor accounts, and ongoing advocacy highlight the urgent need for protective legislation against conversion therapy due to its lasting psychological and physical harm. Organizations like The Trevor Project are actively working to safeguard LGBTQ+ youth from these dangerous and debunked practices.
📹 Focus on the Family Hates Your (Non-Straight) Family
Welcome to the Corporate Casket, a semiweekly series where bad businesses go to die. We will discuss any and everything from …
So my dad worked at Focus on the Family. When my mom was pregnant with me and my sister (we’re twins) they actually let my dad go. They didn’t want to cover my mom because she had a pre-existing condition and was an at risk pregnancy, they also kept his severance pay I don’t remember why I’d have to ask my mom…So they really got that focus on the Family part down! Because of them my mom almost went into early labor and no thanks to them we both lived! Good thing they’re “pro-life”. They are I suppose as long as it doesn’t cost them too much.
“As influential as Jerry Falwell was, he wasn’t shit compared to James Dobson. If Jerry Fallwell made God a Republican, then James Dobson made Jesus a misogynist” That’s a thesis statement if there ever was one. Also, Jesus and John Wayne is a great book. Straight forward history. No fluff. Anyone with an interest in this subject should read it. Keep up the good work Jen.
Focus on the Family was directly responsible for making my childhood and adolescence pure hell. I didn’t realize how many other people were affected by it until I mentioned it by name in a therapy session recently and both my therapist and his intern got looks on their faces that can only be described as a sudden horrified understanding. If that doesn’t just say it all.
When I came out to my parents years ago, Focus on the Family was the resource they turned to. As a result, my parents pushed me into the ex-gay movement, and brought me to conversation therapy. At the time I didn’t know any better and went along with it. I’m out of it now, and I’m happy to say that I’m lgbtqi affirming now, but my relationship with my parents is tense largely because they still maintain ex-gay beliefs. I wish I could take back all the years I wasted trying to fix a part of myself that was never really broken, and I wish I could undo all the damage I did advocating against my queer brothers, sisters, and nb siblings. I’m not joking when I say it almost killed me.
My parents spanked us – as did most parents at that time. It has been a journey for my mom to see her 5 grandchildren being raised without it. They had so brainwashed themselves it was absolutely necessary and were ready to defend themselves from judgment, they couldn’t see a way without it. She understands now. Once, she saw my child break down into tears when I calmly told her I was disappointed in her (for doing some young kid infraction). Kids don’t need hit to be remorseful. Then the real parenting work begins – how to fix your mistakes and control your emotions, and always to love.
Dobson heavily influenced my church, parents, and childhood in general. As a young teen on a “mission trip,” our group stopped to tour the Focus on the Family HQ in Colorado Springs on the way to our project site. As I wandered around their gift shop/bookstore, I came upon a section of anti-feminist, “godly womanhood” books that really disturbed me and caused me to start questioning for the first time. I certainly hadn’t been raised on feminism, but I still felt my soul recoil. It was like some deep part of me was having an allergic reaction to bullshit. I left the entire faith behind a few years later. Not because of James Dobson, but that moment in his bookstore was the tiny spark of realizing something wasn’t right. So thanks, Jimmy! I’m freeeeeeeee
I’m a wedding officiant in rural Alabama and I have officiated at many same sex marriages and many opposite sex marriages, and to be honest there is no difference between how the couples are and the vibe of the whole thing, and the fact that they all want exactly the same thing – to get married and together forever and have that commitment recognized as a couple. The only difference in the ceremony is with opposite sex couples I pronounce them “man and wife” and with same sex couples I pronounce them “married for life” – I wanted to find something that sounds like the traditional ceremony, which is what I use unless the couple wants something different.
My mom is very committed to her religion and she loves Focus on the Family. I’m a lesbian. I’ve been out to my mom for years and she could not be more supportive of me, and yet constantly defends listening to their hateful garbage because she believes their spiritual messages are worthwhile. I have begged her to stop listening to them, I have offered to help her research other Christian podcasts she can listen to, and she just won’t. She even donates to them. My dad has even asked her to stop and she just won’t, and honestly, it just breaks my heart over and over. Thank you for the episode, Jen, for your humor and as always shedding light on their bullshit ❤️
I had a conversation with my daughter about Focus on the Family and Dr. Dobson and that fucking Strong Willed Child book. I was given that book when she was young and was encouraged to spank and stamp down any sort of rebellion. I actually didn’t spank her that much. I did pop her on the mouth twice. She said she was just so confused as to why it happened and what she did wrong. And I honestly couldn’t remember what led up to it, I only remember the extreme guilt I felt and how wrong it was. I never did it again. I apologized to her and tried to explain that this wasn’t something that was considered wrong. I was spanked as a child, belts, wooden spoons, etc. I now know that this was child abuse, I participated in this as well. She and I had a good conversation about it and I apologized and I am so sorry for what I did and that I was so wrong to do it. This man’s “legacy” has destroyed relationships and lives. Just like the rest of these fundies. It’s disgusting. I am no longer a conventional Christian. I don’t believe in the Bible. I’m a Witch, I believe all gods/goddesses are real and valid. I am happy to say my daughter is determined to break the cycle of abuse and trauma that has been in our family on both sides. I am so proud of my strong willed chid and love her so much. She is the best of us.
Hold up, HE’S the reason we have Ted Bundey acting like porn is the reason he became a serial killer? Cause my dad tried to show me that and having plenty of psychology knowledge back then I was just like “Uh… No.” Honestly, Ted Bundy absolutely loved any and all attention he possibly got and ate it up, playing games that gave him a gross sense of joy.
I actually don’t think Bundy was trolling when he blamed porn, I think he wanted the last word, to have some control over his legacy and memory. And to Bundy, this preacher dude handing him a thing to blame his actions on was perfect – he was a good enough manipulator to know at least some people would believe him, so in his mind, he still got in the last word.
Around 20:00 he talks about how men’s self-worth often comes from what they’ve accomplished. My dad has a ministry-thing where he helps men work on themselves, and frequently talks about how dangerous it is to base your worth on what you’ve done, because when what you’ve done fails, you see that as a failure of character. The type of teaching that Dobson is doing genuinely hurts people, it reinforces things like this, saying men can’t or shouldn’t or don’t focus on love, they only are what they do. It’s a bad mindset. I’m just glad we’re slowly starting to move away from it, as difficult as it is to do so.
I feel like my whole childhood just got analyzed and it’s so freaking accurate. My parents used to be a huge focus on the Family people. We weren’t allowed to wear pants, cut our hair or even shave without permission. Found out recently we grew up Christian fundamentalist and Fundie Fridays has gotten my mom to admit we got indoctrinated into a Christian Conservative Cult until we were in pretty much middle school.
I grew up always hearing about “Focus on the family” and “the strong willed child” about how that was a parenting bible. I was beaten and always told I was a manipulative child and basically needed the evil beaten out of me. I never knew how fucked up and connected those books were to my abusive childhood. I’m literally having a 💡💡 moment…thank you for making this! I never would have understood how deeply destorted my family’s bullshit “values” went but this really makes so much sense.
Thanks to Dobson’s teachings, which my parents took to heart I was severely spanked and grew up always in fear of messing up or I’d get spanked… Which did escalate to further abuse. I didn’t have a normal childhood. I didn’t realize until I had my own 4 year old how fucked up I had it as a kid. They took the life and spark from me, I will never do that to my child. I really appreciate you shining light on all of this Jen! Every topic you’ve covered has been so well covered with education! Thank you!
I come back to this months later with an even heavier heart than before. I just realized that FotF is the production company behind the Chronicles of Narnia radio theatre. As a child and as an adult, the audiobooks have given me so much comfort and a feeling of safety as I used to listen to them into the night before I was medicated for my insomnia. I don’t know how to feel and I don’t know if I can give them up. I listen to them for free on Youtube now, but my heart is broken a little bit.
Commenting as I watch the article. I’m the mom of an austistic kiddo. Someone who didn’t know his diagnosis recommended Dobson’s “Strong Willed Child” to me to “help” with my son and his aggression and meltdowns. I was raised with my mom listening to FOF on christian radio. This recomendation reminded of the story he told about his “strong willed” son and that they called the cops on him once because he was being aggressive. Since then I haven’t been able to shake the thought that maybe his son is on the spectrum, and instead of getting him the help and treatment he needed, he was subjected to Dobson’s “parenting” and has essentially become excellent at masking due to all the beatings he received.
Dobson was a name I heard daily growing up in a fundamentalist homeschool home in Arkansas (yes, I’ve met a few Duggars). I grew up with Adventures in Odyssey which was originally and predominantly a radio show, not a TV show. I actually remember hearing adults talk about how the TV show was designed to “suck people in” with being less fundie and more palatable to “worldly” people – my Mom didn’t want us perusal it because it was “watered down” and didn’t have the “meaty” parts like the radio show it was “just fluff.” I was terrified of Dungeons and Dragons until I was TWENTY FOURm because I thought it involved real witchcraft due to an AiO episode called “Castles and Cauldrons” which had a “please don’t listen without your parents” warning at the beginning of it, I think I’ve blocked out the actual episode but I remember being terrified when listening to it. There was also an early episode of the radio show where the main character, Mr. Whitaker, uses corporal punishment on his visiting grandson, and then tells a really disturbing story about a puppy being let off leash and hit by a car. I vividly remember the conversation Mr. Whitaker had with his Daughter when she came to pick up said grandson, where she says “You HIT MY CHILD?” and he replies “I didn’t hit him I *spanked him.*” — I still cringe when I think back to all of it. Please excuse me now, while I go write my therapist a thank you note.
“Yeah we need to break our children’s wills so they can grow up to psychologically torment waitstaff” as someone who’s been a bartender/server for YEARS I can tell you that you totally know which weirdos this affected. Also people from the “entitled millennial” age NEVER pull this shit. And are in fact super nice
The point is, when that little kid’s grown up they’re not gonna remember breaking that vase or talking back to you. But they’ll remember the violence. They’ll remember looking at you and feeling fear. There will always be a lingering association between you and pain, even once they’re old enough to have children of their own.
I remember finding Focus on the Family’s website in the late 90’s and being shocked because the christianity I grew up with in Denmark was very much about being kind to other people, and forgiving, and here was this hateful trash. I did not know christianity could be like that, which is very naive, I know.
My parents had a copy of “the strong-willed child,” and the mere sight of it on the shelf made me feel like something was wrong with me, that my parents had to read a book to figure out how to fix me. Granted, it was a problem with my parents’ attitudes and behaviors toward me that led them to buy the book in the first place, not so much the book itself. I haven’t read the book and can’t speak to its contents, but thinking about it still smarts. I watched a tiktok compilation about gentle parenting a few weeks ago and bawled like a baby because I didn’t have that.
I finally truly woke up to the brainwashing and abuse I grew up with 2 yrs ago when my mom was fighting cancer and I was told by a Chaplin that he could tell my faith wasn’t strong enough and I would be the reason God wouldn’t heal my mother… Finding your articles has been a great therapeutic aid for me to get my head straight through all the unwiring. We grew up in AoG.
When I work with parents, I remind them that “strong willed” kids may be more difficult to parent, buy they are less likely to be submissive towards others like an abusive partner. Childhood is temporary, but they will be an adult for a long time and teaching them to be submissive may be convenient for the parent, but doesn’t help them the child in the log run.
The conversation between James and Ted is a conversation between two men who fundamentally believe women are objects or have less personhood than men. Their talk about pornography ALMOST hits on an important point, that the pathology of male entitlement to women’s bodies leads them to feel entitled to do whatever they want to those bodies. But instead they land on a point that sex workers are evil and the reasons men are “motivated to commit violence” (are you fucking kidding me?) are external. Just a completely wild conversation to witness.
I was 11 when the Bundy interview happened. We watched it because of Dobson. But also because I lived in Tallahassee – one of the last places he murdered women before he was caught. Bundy’s comments were and are total bs when it comes to his own motivations. Dobson just gave him the attention he wanted.
I really had a flashback when Adventures in Odyssey popped up. As kids, we didn’t watch the TV show but we listened to the audio show and honestly I loved it because of the sound production. We only had one cassette tape with the show and I can’t even remember what it was about. I think it was about a Hawaiian vacation and a helicopter crash or something like that 🤷🏽♀️ I simply remembered each story arc starting out calmly and it would escalate wildly haha.
It’s so irritating how these conservative groups will say that they’re oppressed because not everyone agrees with them 🙄 just because people disagree does not mean you’re being “forced to the back of the bus” and that’s so offensive to people who have actually suffered from oppression and segregation. Not that these people care about being offensive though 🤷🏻♀️
I love this Chanel so much! I was born and raised Jewish and the world of Christian fundamentalism is such an interesting thing to me. The culture is so different, which is why I get annoyed when people say things like “judeo-Christian” when it’s really more like apples and oranges. I could never imagine a mega-church esc “mega-shul” happening…
I grew up in a fundamentalist home and Adventures in Odyssey was my lifeblood. I was soooo obsessed I would listen to it for hours every day. I still look back on some of the episodes fondly and it’s just really sad to me that something I loved so much was so damaging to me and to so many other kids. Anyway I would die for an Odyssey focused episode =)
I do agree that it’s vital for parents to spend time with their children. I think the government should tax huge corporations & fund parents’ paid leave when kids are born, and support parents to encourage them to stay home for the first 5 years, and educate new parents on how to care for their children, and connect them with others in their communities.
I attended Summit Ministries camp outside of Colorado Springs years ago which is largely supported by focus on the family. Dr. Dobson normally spoke at this camp but wasn’t able to this time so his son Ryan and his wife came. He played the cool Christian skater role, rolled up his sleeves to show off his tattoos and talked about being the “prodigal son” of Dobson. He and his wife gave a long talk about how they had many miscarriages before being able to have a child. It was sad but they used that emotion to say no one else should be able to have an abortion because he and his wife wanted a kid but couldn’t conceive. I bought into it at the time but now I can’t stand that they emotionally manipulated hundreds of kids this way. Emotional manipulation is the name of the game in Focus on the Family.
dude, finding you has been amazing. i work in a bookstore and i update and maintain the christianity section a lot. my other coworkers don’t like it and as a former catholic i find it fascinating still. your work is amazing and im having a great time learning about all the authors i see on the shelves!! so now when a parent asks for a james dobson book i can give them the sideeye
One documentary that might interest people who’d like to learn more about Dobson’s influence is called “For the Bible Tells Me So.” It focuses on how Christian families came to terms with learning they have a gay family member. It’s not about Dobson specifically, but there’s a scene with one family trying to reach him at Focus on the Family to explain the hurtful impact his message has had on them, and many of the struggles these families express about learning to accept their gay son or daughter is of course highly related to the effects of Dobson’s ministry.
When I was little I spent HOURS listening to the Focus on the Family radio theater versions of The Chronicles of Narnia. My immediate family wasn’t even that religious but my aunt bought them for me and I listened to them all on loop because I loved the story telling. Now that I know more about Focus on the Family I have very bitter-sweet view on those memories, I still love the way that they brought one of my favorite childhood stories to life, but I hate the thought of 10-15 year old me listening to them and by extention supporting them. (Despite knowing that I was very young and did not know about what Focus on the Family was and I don’t know if I would have understood exactly why they are so awful)
I grew up under this abusive bullshit. Dobbidttydooo over here was a major part of why my parents beat the hell out of me until I was 16 and made me quote scripture the entire time. (Mostly Proverbs). Also, that fucking deep inhale he does at the end of every sentence. Omggggg. I’m 31 and that shit has annoyed me since I was 7 years old.
as someone who lives in the Springs, it’s rare that you’ll actually find someone who supports focus on the family or new life anymore. it’s growing so much out here and thankfully most people are seeings the faults in those gross organizations, unless they’re like 90 years old or something. as teenagers a lot of people actually like to go to focus on the family and just run chaos…
I feel especially in a position to say this, since my aunt was Dobson’s secretary for a long time: I want nothing to do with him or any ministry he’s been affiliated with. I was already an adult living on my own by the time I even came out to myself, so I was never in any conversion therapy, but I did spend the majority of my adolescence increasingly suicidal with no idea why.
Cat’s in the Cradle has always made me cry, not for myself but for the men in the song. I’m on a roadtrip with my dad right now, him in his late 50s and me in my early 20s, which I think is why that particular clip is making me so emotional now. I have always been so thankful that I have never been able to relate to that song.
I’ve been wanting you to cover them! My family was obsessed with FotF, Adventures in odyssey (radio kid drama they make), and all things Dobson. They actually used my r*pe as a kid to create propaganda by heavily editing my interview with an affiliate station. This is after they advised the church I was r*ped at, (happened on church property on a Sunday morning but protect the kids right) to tell my family not to come back to church to avoid a lawsuit. Then that got out and tore the congregation apart. I was told FOTF helped pay for the church to move and change its name from the historic Reinhardt Bible Church to Firewheel Bible fellowship. So anyways, screw them and if anyone in Dallas talks with their leadership just ask them what happened to little Sarah in 1995 and watch how fast they run away.
My parents gave me Dobson’s “Preparing for Adolescence” in lieu of the sex talk. I can’t remember if it was helpful or not, but one paragraph bothered me when I read it during my sexuality-discovering/exploring years. From a quick Q&A section in the book: “Wouldn’t it be awful if I became a homosexual? Homosexuality is an abnormal desire that reflects deep problems, but it doesn’t happen very often and it’s not likely to happen to you.” Uhh…thanks? It’s true that, statistically, less of your readers will be gay rather than straight (if they’ve even had enough time to figure things out by that point), but y’know…what do you have to say to the ones that actually are? Dobson does not touch on this subject in any other part of his book. You’d think that he would since he hates the gays so much, but nope. Not even an explanation of how you can be celibate and Christian at the same time. Very frustrating, I remember thinking things like, “but it HAS happened to me! Help!!” Alas, after some sexual awakenings (ironically one of them was at a Christian youth summer camp) and many therapy visits later, I’m happy to confirm that I’m hopelessly bisexual and totally fine with it. And an Atheist now, too! So fuck Dobson, he had his chance to help young LGBT kids and wasted it. Your feelings are valid and deserve fulfillment. If there’s a god out there, they probably don’t care if you’re gay. Take care, y’all.
Thank you for this. I found you after perusal Shiny Happy People and was overjoyed to find you did a article on Focus on the Family. My grandfather was E. Brandt Gustavson. I loved my grandpa, but I was very young when he passed and it is a surreal thing to be learning about people he worked with like this. I dont want to think that he was one of them.
This man was my guardian’s excuse for both the Golden Child/Scapegoat dichotomy I was raised under, refusal to put me on needed medication (bc for severe periods because good christian girls don’t need birth control), and the emotional and physical abuse for the 13 years I lived with her, and her husband. It was like the child psychologist joke on Rugrats, except the goal was if the book meant I should be beaten or have a grown woman scream in my face with her heels on my feet, pulling up on my ears or hair. When she tore her shoulder trying to smack me in the back of the car, that just meant I had to sit up front so she could reach better.
Omg! I remember having to watch that Ted bundy clip in my philosophy class! It was so uncomfortable I remember one student having to tell the teacher that line 80% of the adult US population consumes porn so there is literally no way that it causes serial killing behavior bc by that logic 80% of the US would be homicidal.
I watched so many Focus on the family articles and cartoons as a kid. With my white grandparents. The older I got the more I realized they weren’t just misogynistic, they were clearly racist. It took me a long time to understand that my white grandparents didn’t understand racism because it was never directed at them. They were pentecostal and are gone now. But I never truly questioned how much they loved me. I was treated no different than my cousins. Growth has led me to forgive their ignorance. The impact that being the only brown child in a sea of white has made me thrive in what others deem an uncomfortable and hostile space. I visit my grandparents church on occasion, and most members show me nothing but genuine LOVE ❤
Focus on the Family was the cornerstone of my parents parenting technique. If FOTF said it then they did it. And the Adventures in Odyssey audio series played a huge part in my childhood. We listened to them all the time and the characters felt like a real part of our lives. I look back now and think of the things that I would listen too even as a kid and see how huge that series played at indoctrinating me. I still occasionally listened to the series when I was in my early 20s (don’t judge me lol). Although I broke up with FOTF when they released an Adventure in Odyssey series dedicated to the dangers of Gay marriage and homosexuality. They even had a man suffering with HIV in the series saying how he regretted his choices. It was so fucked up. At that point I was already doubting a lot and that kind of pushed me further into doubting what I’d been taught growing up.
i grew up in a house church greatly influenced by the IBLP, and grew up listening to adventures in odessy which was produced by focus on the family. perusal your articles on these have been so helpful to me. I have little to no childhood memories because of abuse and trauma. These articles help me put what small memories i have into perspective. thank you so much
Cats in a Cradle was inspired by a letter Harry Chapin’s wife wrote telling him he was travelling too much for work and was missing too much of their kids lives. By James Dobson’s logic, Harry Chapin should have been a “real man” and just belted her in the mouth for being obstinate instead of writing a song based on his “shrew wife’s” guilt trip.
That man testifying about his conversion therapy and subsequent marriage and then what happened afterwards has got to be the most scary thing I have seen in a long time. So very sad. I would be simply horrified with myself if I had had a gay child and really thought the right thing to do was send him to a ministry like that. I have two Dobson books on my shelf that were given to us for our wedding. We’ve been married 24 years and I don’t think I ever cracked them open, but I know they were all the rage back then. He had a sweet dad/grandpa speaking voice and everyone was comforted by him. I remember hearing him on the radio. Thanks for all the work. So very thought provoking.
adventures in odyssey was also a long running audio drama series produced by focus on the family. me and every other homeschool family i knew would listen to them and jonathan park (audio drama series from vision forum). to me, they were some of the most influential aspects of my childhood and i don’t think i’ll ever fully understand how much they shaped me. and low key that scares me
I remember when Dobson’s BS started ramping up. The self inflicted persecution thinly disguised as friendly Grampa still bugs me. Funnily enough, I accidentally wound up talking to Richard DeVos and his wife before she passed for a couple of hours at the Amway Hotel while my husband’s company had a conference there. Let’s say the whole bunch simply tolerates each other in public – there’s no love lost between the members of the DeVos/Koch/Dobson circles. Jesus is simply a bank account fattener.
This article was so triggering. Listening to Dobson’s voice used to be so soothing to me because I grew up hearing my parents listen and I listened in my teens into my twenties. Every single day! But now I have physical reactions to hearing him speak. 3 years of deconstructing and I’m still unpacking so much harm I learned from FOTF. And yay for “Jesus and a John Wayne!” That book has been such a help for so so many of us.
I grew up in Colorado Springs. I was raised on the how to train a willful child principals. My parents drank the focus on the family cool aid. I spent birthday parties, field trips, and special days at focus on the family. My parents used the focus on the family approved passport to purity framework to make me sign a purity contract at 12. You are welcome to ama. I’ve been all up down and around the the focus on the family world.
Colorado Springs is such a beautiful place. It’s so sad the influence Focus on the Family has had. I’m in Oregon now, but I was in Colorado Springs in the mid-2000s. I interviewed at Focus on the Family because I was desperate for work. But I knew as I walked out I could never work there. It wasn’t the fact that I am an atheist. I think a large part because I wouldn’t be able to take a backseat as a woman – in a Software Engineer position. But the intolerance and hate was palpable. I never wanted to walk in that building again.
Whenever I feel stressed I find myself perusal these articles over and over. I just realized the reason is these articles validate the trauma I had growing up in a Christian private school. It’s so comforting to have someone queer and outspoken shed light on the unjust teachings. I can’t thank you enough.
I can’t wait to dive into this article. I am saying this as a mom of a two-year-old boy and someone who grew up being disciplined with corporal punishment, if you have to beat your child into submission, then you as the parents are the problem, not them! I would never abuse my son in the name of “love”. 🤢🤢 And it’s interesting how Josh Duggar ties into this absolute load of crap. He is so anti-abortion, so he believes in protecting unborn babies, but then as soon as they’re old enough to walk, their fair game for sexual abuse? He’s absolutely disgusting and I hope he doesn’t go into protective custody.
When I was 4 my family went on a cross country road trip and stopped at the Adventures in Odyssey museum thingie called Whits End because my whole family grew up perusal and listening to AiO, and there was a person walking around in a Whit costume greeting people and taking pictures. Being a shy and easily scared 4 year old, I was convinced Whit was going to kill us all, and I started crying and pulling my family out the door, and they just ignored me and my mom took a picture with him, and I felt so betrayed. I know now that I sensed the problems with focus on the family even in my young age, and my family should have listened to me
Oh my gosh, this is almost word for word what my dad would say (and still say) when I was growing up! My mom left and he was a single dad for a while so I’m sure he was looking at resources available. This was the 90s so there was no internet. My childhood is making so much sense! He isn’t even a practicing Christian but everything is clicking into place!
I found this website a few weeks ago. I have watched every episode I think 😌 As someone who came from very fundamental Christian grandparents on both sides- listening to your stuff is actually healing for me. It helps me process where they were coming from. Not that it makes some of their behaviors during my childhood acceptable, but it helps me understand where their beliefs came from. Anyway just wanted to say thanks for your work Jen. I will def join patreon this weekend❤ 🌈
Focus on the Family was a huge part of my homeschool fundie upbringing, we even went to the location in Colorado Springs where they had a fill-in-the-blanks episode of Adventures in Odyssey’s audio series for kids to take part in. I’m a couple minutes in and super interested to learn more about the group and Dobson.
Thank you so much for covering Focus on the Family. Dobson’s radio show was on regularly in my childhood home, PluggedIn reviews were always checked before going to theaters, and we occasionally got Clubhouse magazine, Brio, and Adventures in Odyssey episodes as well. While I don’t have many vivid memories, it certainly shaped my family’s perspectives, and looking back there’s a lot of it I don’t want to pass to my own kids someday. When you’re on the inside, it doesn’t seem fundamentalist because of how big an influence it has in the evangelical community. But obviously stepping back there’s a lot to unpack.
I grew up in a conservative house littered with Focus on the Family books, especially the “Difficult Child.” (I’ll let you figure that one out.) My parents believe in corporal punishment, and when we brought it up as adults, our parents were like “well, everyone spanks their kids.” Needless to say, if I ever raise a child, there will only be kindness in my home. P.S. I love your makeup this week; you look like a little strawberry. 🙂
I’ve recommended your website to anyone and everyone and I keep loving every single article. From the research and ethics you present to the humor to your aesthetic and just the fuzzy warm feelings that these glimpses into your household give us I take away so much any time I tune in. Keep being awesome, we <3 you in a strange parasocial way!
I am loving your website. I grew up with these men just prominently in the background of my childhood. I even was a member of Jerry Falwells church and was an unwilling victim, ahem i mean unwed pregnant mother sent to his maternity home. In which the theme was listen to your parents and place your baby up for adoption. Basically, blind obedience. Side note, i joined his church and was pregnant in his choir. My mothers response was I didn’t deserve to be in the choir because i was pregnant and (gasp) unwed. I was in deep, but, i was waking up from the fundie ick. This all happened when i was 20 if that tells you how far under the umbrella i was.
Aware that I am 2 years late but man…I stopped being Christian almost 10 years ago. I thought I couldn’t be sensitive to much of my past anymore. But having grown up hearing focus on the family more than anything else in the world, constantly..these mens voices were absolutely pervasive in every part of my life….this article just hits me hard. It’s still hard letting go of things that made up so much of my childhood even though I absolutely hate the dogma, etc. A part of me dies a little hearing these people I idolized as a child are actually horrible. Not surprising, but ouch. Thank you for your good work. Focus on the family, I know now, is an abomination to the world and to human rights.
YES THIS LOOKKKKKK and the earrings!! Fascinating that these people can be in a community that says ‘god makes no mistakes’ and also ‘god made me specifically in heterosexual image so I’m wrong and need to adjust myself to fit it.’ Why would he make you attracted to someone he didn’t want you to be attracted to????? Maybe cuz you’re not a mistake and god is bs??
The more I come to terms with my own sexuality, the more content like this that touches on the rampant homophobia in evangelical Christianity makes me feel very conflicting emotions — deeply heartbroken, but also… really powerful, I guess. James Dobson and men like him have done incalculable damage, damage I’ve inevitably taken on tangentially if not directly… but things really are changing in the broader American psyche, and there’s nothing they can do to stop it. And they must know that. DOMA is gone, gay marriage is federally legal, and the dominoes can only fall from there. It gives me a lot of hope. Also, this just bumped up Jesus and John Wayne several places on my to-read list. I’ve been meaning to get to it for months now. (Gimme a minute to finish The Martian and find some more fluffy lesbian fantasy, though, I have a feeling I’m going to need something more lighthearted as a chaser 🥴)
thank you so much for the work you are doing. I grew up in a home that idolized many of the people and families you make content about, it answers questions confused younger me was lost in, understanding who these people are and what fuels their behaviors has helped me to understand the way my parents “tried” to raise me. you put a piece of traumatized me to peace. thank you queen.
Hi. I was raised in a Lutheran home and remember very vividly my mom buying McGee and Me articles and Help Me Be Good books by Focus on the Family. I read those books (Pun intended) religiously. I became so repressed and focused on my studies and getting my education that I never actively had a social life in high school. I don’t remember going to a dance, a football game or anything. It was half I couldn’t afford to go but it was half how much trouble I could get into there. Over the years, I’ve slowly let the “demons” overtake me. I’m a recovering alcoholic. I identify as Queer and currently have no desire for a mate. I have several health issues, some mental, that I attribute to this upbringing and my distrust of humans. I’m learning how to adjust to humans again after the abuse and neglect I suffered at the hands of a mother who didn’t want me to socialize normally and the abuse of the confines of religion that told me things that a hug wasn’t allowed between a man and a woman. It’s weird learning social cues as an adult. I should’ve learned them as a child. Thankfully, I don’t go to ANY church anymore and I’ve considered myself spiritual. If I have to be tagged as anything, I’m agnostic. I believe something is out there controlling this life but it’s going to take a lot for me to trust a human being telling me who or what that specific thing is. Thank you for your content. I like perusal it. Keep up the excellence!
I lost all respect for Dobson at 15 when my mother got a copy of The Strong-Willed Child. I read with horror his description of his epic battle with the family dog, a dashund named Siggie. “I had seen this defiant mood before,” Dobson, a licensed psychologist, wrote in The Strong-Willed Child, “and knew there was only one way to deal with it. The only way to make Siggie obey is to threaten him with destruction. Nothing else works. I turned and went to my closet and got a small belt to help me ‘reason’ with Mr. Freud.” When Dobson gave Mr. Freud a firm swat across the rear end, the dog tried to bite the belt. “I hit him again and he tried to bite me . . . That tiny dog and I had the most vicious fight ever staged between man and beast. I fought him up one wall and down the other, with both of us scratching and clawing and growling and swinging the belt.” The idea of having a pitched battle with a 10 pound animal, disgusted me. A small dog gets picked up and his little furry butt plopped where you want him to be. You don’t abuse dogs just to serve you’re own wants. He immediately tossed out any respect that I as a teenager might have had for them. Or my parents who were reading it and seemed to be taking his advice seriously.
Man, I grew up as a fundamental evangelical pastor’s kid, and what I get from these articles is everyone I ever listened to growing up was a terrible influence haha. I’m really grateful for all the work and research put into these! It would be really cool and also extremely challenging to my spirit to see a article about Upperroom (Dallas/Frisco, TX). They have a lot of connections to IHOP in Kansas City.
Jen I’ve spent the last week perusal all your articles and I have to say one of the underrated things I’ve noticed is how much your makeup skills have improved. Seeing you be more and more comfortable trying new and fun looks inspires me to have more fun with makeup. This has to be my favorite look so far and I can’t wait to continue perusal how your skills grow
that ted bundy interview makes me so mad aaagh. he’s acting all remorseful but i can guarantee that he was just doing it for the camera. dude is a sociopath. he doesn’t feel guilty about anything. if he was released that day he’d have gone right back to it. also this makeup look is gorgeous i love it so much 🥰
My mom got real religious when I was 8 due to a very abusive marriage. She was so deep into Focus on the Family, it was our entire life and I did not understand the damage it caused until I was much older. Would love some financial compensation for the therapy I have had to pay for to undo the trauma lol
I worked for Conestoga Wood Specialties a cabinetry company in Lancaster County Pa and in the early 1990’s they donated hundreds of cabinets to Focus On The Family to their Colorado campus – it was run by a Mennonite family – this is the company who went to the Supreme Court to be able to not provide insurance for the day after Pill and the pill – yes this is the company that joined Chick -Fil-A –
I work at a library in a small Christian/conservative city. We have the book Love Won Out (amongst many other boring Fundie books) on our shelves. It’s a book that I’ve noticed on the shelf a couple times and rolled my eyes at. It’s interesting to know that the author has since changed his opinion/belief on the subject. Might be a good candidate for weeding >:). I’ve also gone ahead and recommended Jesus and John Wayne for our library. Looks very interesting! Thanks for the great article Jen!
Hey! Would you ever consider talking about the teen magazines that Focus on The Family came out with like Brio? (I don’t remember what the magazine “for boys” was called lol) But I remember that because I grew up as a missionary abroad, they sent it to me for free. One article I will never forget was the extremely shameful article about sexual purity that likened someone who was not a virgin for marriage to a “gift that had been opened and tossed around” I follow you on tiktok, so since it’s just a short topic maybe you’d post it there? Love all your articles. They are healing and cathartic to me <3
As usual, he takes a very stereotypical approach to what he thinks are the differences between men and women. I’ve heard it all before. Men hunt and fish while women sit home and wait. Seriously? Men get their self esteem from their accomplishments while women get theirs from being loved. As they say, you can’t make this shit up. I’m starting to think that these hard core fundies parrot these things because this is the way they want it to be, not because it’s the way things really are. So you’re correct, he’s not very nuanced. Or original. But thankfully, we don’t have to live by his perceptions of us. Keep up the good work. You bring sanity to this world. ve
This was really interesting because his influence was everywhere growing up in the 90’s and ’00’s: the different media programs you mentioned, his radio spots (which were on one of the secular radio stations in our area, not just the Christian station), books and DVD’s of his teachings….Also, I felt slightly horrified hearing about that “Where’s Dad?” article being distributed to Army members. I’m sure the soldiers probably already had enough guilt from having separations from their families, which they often don’t have a say in. On that note, minor piece of constructive criticism: While yes, there does seem to be a trend in conservative circles of glorifying the military without having actually served, I felt like there was an implication that James Dobson being in the National Guard doesn’t count as military service, either. The National Guard IS considered a part of the military, even if their service commitment looks different and there is some friendly picking on them by the other branches. I’ve heard at least a couple National Guard spouses talk about how they feel like they can’t fit in with either the military or civilian worlds. Otherwise, a great episode as always.
Man, I loved adventures in odyssey growing up, we had like dozens cassette books for them, but my love was probably more due to the fact that it was one of the few things I was allowed to listen to/watch lmao. It’s weird having fond memories of stories that I would listen to over and over then growing up and learning about the point of view they were coming from. They didn’t work tho lmao I refused to get baptized as a kid let alone believe the horrible views they had. Also I’m gay 🤪 jokes on them cause I had a crush on the character named Connie the whole time
Focus on the Family was a huge part of my life and it took me a long time to admit how much their children’s programming messed me up long term. There was an Adventures in Odyssey episode where a couple of the characters took the Imagination Station to what their afterlife would be. The Christian ended up in a coma and didn’t want to wake up because it was perfect and the atheist/agnostic/non Christian (I don’t remember what Eugene was, but he was definitely not Christian) went to hell. I was scared of hell because of that episode—cold and dark, empty and alone for eternity. That fueled my spooky Christian hell dream for years.
9:43 “respect for leadershp is the glue that holds social organization together. without it there is chaos…” lmao that’s straight out of Lobster Daddy’s book. idk why, but the fact that Dobson said the same thing as Peterson decades ago made me laugh. What’s with these hierarchy obsessed, psychology-exploiting, religious people and repeating the same shit? 15:32 AHHHH I knew I smelled hypocritical shellfish! :p
Unpopular opinion time: Porn that depicts violence against women (the type Bundy was talking about, he wasn’t talking about Playboy here) is harmful to people and does influence already troubled people. I don’t think Bundy was trying to troll so much as he was trying to put the sole blame for his murders on snuff porn when it was just a small component. I am as left as they come, but porn can be harmful to men and especially to women and the way young liberals pretend it’s all empowering is a problem. Science has shown that seeing sexual violence depicted makes sexual offenders more likely to offend. It gives them ideas. I really think a lot of women are afraid of being called prudes if they question it. Your man isn’t perusal dudes rape a woman in porn while stepping on her face because he has deep respect for the actresses. Wanting to see women be harmed is a red flag. I wish our culture would stop pretending a desire for sexual violence is a normal expression when it’s actually a trait shared by almost all sexual sadists who kill. These people need therapists, not pornhub.
Thank you for the article! It was very interesting seeing how my evangelical peers were so obviously raised by people who obviously loved Focus on the Family. I grew up until I was 12/13 without religion, my parents found religion and finally married when I was 14. All of this makes so much sense. It really sheds light on why I was never accepted by most of the other kids at our very large church and even why they felt the need to become abusive towards some of us… less than straight members. I loved the mushroom make-up and earrings! ❤ Very cute.
Unfortunately society has TAUGHT women that to develop self worth we must do it through “relationships” and “being loved”. Madonna herself says it best coming from a woman’s perspective ” you want to know what real power is? Not being loved, and being OKAY with that.” Another words the most dangerous thing a woman can be is finding self value and worth in herself first. Without the worlds approval. Even if that means no man would ever “choose”to love her. Ladies we must do better!
Jen this makeup look is MESMERIZING. You are gorgeous and witty and this article gave me chills. I grew up listening to Jonathan Park more than Adventures in Odyssey, so I was fully indoctrinated into creationism. My bread and butter was Jonathan Park and Ken Ham’s Answers in Genesis materials. An aunt of mine still works for Focus on the Family. It’s like you can’t escape their influence on all sides.
My music teacher in middle school dedicated, like, MONTHS to us learning and singing Cats in the Cradle. I lost it in class bc “this song is nowhere good enough to warrant a week’s worth of focus, let alone 3 months, I fuckin hate this shit” & my teacher was aghast, he thought it was the peak of musical artistry.
Watching that ex-gay conference made me so sad. These poor individuals who’ve been lied to and abused and psychologically manipulated until they try to lock away something completely natural and fine, to see it as shameful and wrong and dirty. They shouldn’t have to live like that. They should be able to be happy and accept themselves for who they are.
Oof I was a childhood victim of this gross creep. My parents fully bought in to all that bullshit and since we lived in Colorado, we went to the FOTF HQ a couple of times. The only good part was the giant slide lol but either way wow yeah I didn’t stand a chance against this abuse and brainwashing, ugh I hate this guy
I’d forgotten his connection to the Nazarenes. My siblings and I were abused and neglected because my parents read the lies FotF published. My dad was a Nazarene pastor for a hot minute. We had an incredibly chaotic family life because of it. The harm that can directly laid at Dobson’s is immeasurable. And he, and his cronies, will never be held to account, because we as a nation refuse to challenge the toxic beliefs of Christianity, instead giving them a pass because Christians are “good people” because roo many have bought the Christian propaganda. And they’re going to win, in the end, because no one is stopping them.
Watching this again because a guy I almost dated and his family are way into this group and it explains so much of his behavior and attitude towards me. He can’t drive and doesn’t have any social media to contact me, but he displays stalkerish behavior at the community theater we both attend (I have lots of friends there and people to protect me, and I also avoid him and carry personal protection.) Because I’m a woman who rejected him and refused to baby him, I deserve harassment from him and his brother, but he also desperately wants me back because I’m cute and talented and used to give him attention. He also wants to convert me, even though I’m already Christian. The fact that I’m doing great without him and have an actual amazing boyfriend now that I plan to marry drives him insane. He’s even gone so far as mentioning in my vicinity that he’s “a puncher when (he’s) angry” and making gestures threatening physical violence, then running to places where I have to pass through alone to make entrances during rehearsals. Unfortunately the theater can’t kick him out because he hasn’t actually done anything physical, but at least he’s being closely monitored. Oh, also, I was 17 at the time we almost dated. He was 21, almost 22. We are 20 and almost 25 now. There’s so much more I could write about the situation but this is already a lot, so I’d better stop here.