Jesus credits the promotion of His disciples to friendship status due to their privy to His insider teachings. He emphasizes that they are recipients of the blessings of salvation and that love is the most important family in the Kingdom of Heaven. Jesus defines love for one another as mutual, and anyone can become a true friend by trusting in Him as their personal savior, being born again, and receiving new life in Him.
Jesus redefined what it meant to be a friend by redefining the disciple-teacher relationship in John 15:14-17. His disciples are no longer to be his servants but friends. Jesus’ words can be applied to our relationships with others in three ways:
- We may be called to leave our family. Jesus is not anti-family, but loves families and people. He said there was no greater love than to “lay down one’s life for his friends”.
- Jesus often referred to His disciples and other followers not as acquaintances or even friends, but as family. His command is to love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
- Jesus himself founded no family – he took no wife, fathered no children, and did not take any wives. Instead, he referred to His disciples and followers as “friends” and commanded them to love each other as He has loved them.
In summary, Jesus’ teachings on friendship, family, and the importance of love are central to his message of love and the importance of loving one another. By following Jesus’ example and embracing the importance of friendship, we can better understand and appreciate the love and support He provides for our relationships with others.
| Article | Description | Site |
|---|---|---|
| What Does the Bible Say About Family And Friends? | Do not forsake your friend and your father’s friend, and do not go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity. Better is a neighbor who is near than a … | openbible.info |
| Jesus on Friendship | Articles | Jesus says that we are his friends if we do what he commands (John 15:14). We’ll have more to say on this later, but notice one thing for now. | livingout.org |
| 45 Bible verses about Family And Friends | Luke 21:16 – But you will be betrayed even by parents and brothers and relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death, | bible.knowing-jesus.com |
📹 How Did Jesus Handle Narcissists?
Narcissists got you feeling crazy? Today we answer the question, how did Jesus handle narcissists? Ready to learn how to …
How Did Jesus Model True Friendship?
In John 15:1-17, Jesus shares a profound understanding of friendship with His disciples, who He no longer considers mere servants but friends. Through His teachings, Jesus reveals that true friendship is defined by unconditional love, sacrificial service, and unwavering commitment. By embodying these qualities, He sets a standard for how we should approach our own relationships. Regardless of one’s background, Jesus exemplifies friendship by offering selflessness, loyalty, and compassion. His willingness to lay down His life for His friends highlights the depth of His dedication.
The Gospel emphasizes that those who trust in Him can also become His friends, gaining new life through faith. Jesus illustrates that friendship transcends mere affection or utility and calls us to love and forgive without reservation. His life, marked by intentional relationships and shared experiences, serves as a living example of how to cultivate friendship.
Notably, He spent time in fellowship, understanding, and ministry with His disciples, reinforcing the importance of connection. Jesus grieved with His friends and empathized with their struggles, showing that authentic friendship is rooted in mutual support and truthfulness.
In sum, Jesus serves as the ultimate model for friendship, encouraging us to reflect on our own relationships and strive for a deeper, more selfless connection with others. Through observing His life, we can learn practical wisdom on how to be true friends.
Did Jesus Call His Disciples Friends?
In John 15, Jesus elevates His disciples from mere followers to friends, signifying a deeper, more personal relationship. This relationship illustrates the blessings of Abraham under the new covenant, integrating believers into a familial bond with Him. The context of this verse, particularly around 25 AD, shows that fidelity to the Law was the norm for understanding religious life. However, Jesus’ statement, "No longer do I call you servants," indicates a transition away from hierarchy towards intimacy.
The term "friends" (philos) reflects a profound connection and intimacy not previously experienced among Jesus and His followers. This relational aspect is critical, as Jesus shares everything He learned from His Father with them, emphasizing open communication akin to that between God and Abraham. The disciples, though referred to as "servants" or "disciples," are called friends, suggesting an extraordinary depth to their relationship with Jesus.
Furthermore, Jesus’ assurance that "You are my friends" reinforces that this friendship is not self-initiated but a divine calling. Ultimately, this passage not only signifies Jesus’ love and affection but invites believers to reflect on their own relationship with Him, asking whether they too are committing to being His friends. This bond is both extraordinary and intimate, shaping the understanding of discipleship in a new light, as Jesus’ friends and by extension, all who abide in Him, share in divine communication and revelation.
What Does Jesus Say About Biological Family?
In Matthew 12:46-50, Jesus clarifies the significance of family by emphasizing spiritual connections over biological ones. He does not dismiss the importance of biological families, but asserts that allegiance to Him takes precedence. Those who follow His commandments and do the will of God are considered His true family. This perspective redefines familial relationships, prioritizing spiritual kinship that extends beyond bloodlines.
Jesus acknowledges the value of marriage and children, yet He envisions a community of believers bonded in faith. The eternal family of God surpasses natural relations since it is rooted in spiritual commitment and the gospel’s transformative power.
While acknowledging His own experiences of rejection from His family, Jesus expresses that those who align with God's will, regardless of their blood relations, belong to His family. His call to discipleship is radical, stating that one must be willing to forsake family ties for His sake (Luke 14:26). Membership in God's family is accessible through faith, not lineage (John 1:12-13). Jesus invites all to be reborn into this divine family, signifying a deeper connection based on faith rather than earthly ties.
Ultimately, the essence of Jesus' teaching is that true familial bonds in the Kingdom of Heaven are determined by commitment to God’s will, fostering a community that transcends biological affiliations. Jesus reorients our understanding of family, making spiritual allegiance the foundation of His followers' identity and unity in faith.
What Does Jesus Say About Family And Friends?
In Matthew 12:48-50, Jesus emphasizes the importance of spiritual kinship over biological ties, indicating that those who fulfill the will of God are His true family. This radical understanding of community illustrates a core aspect of Jesus' discipleship call. He values the relationships formed through shared faith, suggesting that such bonds are paramount in the Kingdom of Heaven. Although He honors familial connections, He underscores that spiritual ties take precedence.
In John 15:12-15, Jesus refers to His followers as friends rather than servants, signifying a profound commitment to those He calls. He emphasizes love as central to friendship, urging His disciples to love one another as He loves them. This friendship theme is woven throughout Scripture, culminating in Jesus’ sacrificial love on the cross.
Furthermore, Proverbs 18:24 highlights the distinction between many companions and a true friend, emphasizing that a faithful friend is invaluable. Amidst potential betrayals from family or friends, Jesus remains the ultimate friend who is always dedicated and supportive. Through these verses, the Bible encourages believers to cherish and strengthen their relationships, whether familial or friendship-based, reminding them of the support, joy, and dignity these connections bring, while also recognizing that God through Jesus offers the most profound friendship one can have.
What Is A Great Bible Quote About Family?
Matthew 15:44 states God's commandment to "Honor your father and mother" and warns that anyone who curses their parents deserves death. This highlights the significance of family unity, with many Bible verses offering inspiration and protection for loved ones. Strong relationships within families, including the roles of parents, spouses, and siblings, are essential for a nurturing environment. Malachi 2:16 emphasizes God's design for lifelong marriage commitment, critical for a healthy family structure.
Exodus 20:12 reiterates respecting parents, which brings long life. Throughout the Bible, family bonds and responsibilities are underscored, showcasing families as a source of love, belonging, and blessing from God. Verses like Psalm 68:6 reflect God’s intention of placing the lonely in families. Additionally, quotes from Proverbs highlight the joy and pride that children bring to their parents and the wisdom in nurturing children correctly. Ephesians 5:25 encourages husbands to love their wives selflessly, reinforcing the call for love among family members.
The Bible thus serves as a reminder of the importance of familial love, unity, and happiness, emphasizing that a strong, loving family lays the foundation for life's growth. Inspired by these teachings, one can appreciate the profound blessings associated with family.
What Did Jesus Say About Friendship With The World?
Friendship with the world is declared as enmity with God, as noted in James 4:4, which warns believers against adopting worldly ideals, morals, and purposes. To prioritize worldly pursuits is to choose opposition to God. True friendship, as exemplified by Jesus, involves laying down one’s life for others and embodies genuine love that comes at a cost. Jesus emphasizes that disciples relate to God not through fear but through friendship. He illustrates this relationship through the metaphor of the "true vine," where believers draw their spiritual sustenance from Him.
Jesus affirms that obedience to His commands reflects true friendship (John 15:14-15) and establishes a call for Christians to love each other as He has loved them, underscoring the ultimate expression of love by sacrificing oneself for a friend.
James reiterates the importance of dedicating oneself to God's kingdom rather than aligning with the world's values, which can lead to spiritual danger. This choice extends further; pursuing the world can distance believers from God, risking their souls (Mark 8:36). The call to avoid association with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14-18) connects to this theme of avoiding compromise with worldly ideals. Ultimately, the essence of true friendship reflects a commitment to God and a rejection of worldly influences.
Why Did Jesus Promote The Disciples As Friends?
Jesus redefines the relationship between Himself and His followers in John 15:15, promoting them from mere disciples to friends. He emphasizes that this transformation is due to the insider knowledge He shared with them, stating, "A master doesn’t confide in his slaves" (NLT). The disciples did not choose Jesus; rather, He initiated their journey together. Throughout His ministry, Jesus modeled love, service, and leadership, exemplified by His action of washing the disciples’ feet (John 13:15). He demonstrates the depth of this new friendship by expressing the ultimate act of love: to lay down one’s life for friends.
This friendship is a divine gift, rooted in love rather than merit. Jesus invites His followers to deepen their understanding of love, pointing to friendship as the highest form of connection, contrasting it with other relationships like marriage. His intention was for the disciples to grow in trust and unity, which reflects God's mission. Furthermore, Jesus tasked the disciples with spreading His message and training future leaders, emphasizing experiential learning alongside Him.
While Jesus elevated the disciples to friends, He also underscored their role in His mission, illustrating that friendship with Him entails active participation in God’s work. Ultimately, Jesus desires a relationship characterized by mutual understanding, respect, and genuine love, setting the foundation for a community that embodies these values.
How Does Jesus Define His Family?
Jesus redefined the concept of family by stating that true kinship is not determined by biological ties but by obedience to God’s will (Mark 3:31-35). He distinguished His communal followers as His true family, emphasizing that those who fulfill God’s will, regardless of blood relations, are unified in spiritual kinship. While acknowledging the importance of marriage and children, Jesus expanded the notion of family to include all believers as brothers and sisters in Christ.
His teaching emphasizes a commitment to God that may require prioritizing spiritual ties over traditional familial ones, as illustrated in Luke 14:26, where He states that one must be willing to "hate" their own family for His sake to be His disciple.
This radical approach reflects the theological stance that divine grace allows believers to be adopted into God's family. Jesus affirmed His biological family yet underscored that spiritual allegiance and action define true familial relationships. The essence of belonging, for Jesus, lies in serving and executing God’s purpose. Thus, His disciples—those actively doing God’s will—are recognized as His family.
Matthew’s genealogy highlighted Jesus’ human origins but emphasized His divine mission. Although biological connections are important, Jesus urged followers to redefine their understanding of family to include spiritual commitment and community. The community of believers becomes a familial unit, reflecting unity in faith and purpose over mere blood relations, emphasizing that true family is built on mutual devotion to God's will.
How Does Jesus View Family?
In rethinking the notion of family, Jesus emphasizes a new spiritual kinship among believers, transcending biological ties. As stated in Mark 3:33-35, those who fulfill God’s will are considered Jesus' true relatives, highlighting that his community of followers serves as the real family. Jesus’ reverence for children illustrates their role in teaching humility and acceptance within this spiritual family, as he urged disciples to adopt child-like faith rather than compete for status.
While affirming traditional family structures, Jesus distinctly redefines them, prioritizing relationships rooted in faith over biological connections. His own life, notably his single status, reinforces the theological belief that spiritual family bonds take precedence. Conversely, scripture acknowledges families as foundational to human experience, showcasing divine intentions for their establishment.
Jesus articulated a transformative perspective on family in Matthew 12:46-50, advocating for recognition of relationships based on spiritual commitment rather than mere genealogy. He urged believers to love God’s family while still valuing their biological relatives, demonstrating that faith creates a universal family dynamic. Thus, when individuals embrace Jesus, they gain a dual familial experience as part of the Church, fostering connections that reflect divine purpose. Ultimately, Jesus' teachings encourage loving all, prioritizing spiritual kinship, and viewing family through the lens of God’s will and service.
What Does Jesus Say About Friendship?
In John 15:13, Jesus expresses the ultimate love: "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." He emphasizes friendship to highlight love and sacrifice, offering a model for true friendships within the church and beyond. Jesus teaches us about being His friends and how to love one another through His example. Proverbs 18:24 states, "A man of many companions may come to ruin," suggesting the need to choose friends wisely.
In John 15:12-15, Jesus elevates friendship beyond mere affection, noting that His disciples are friends because they are privy to His teachings. He demonstrates His commitment by laying down His life, the highest form of friendship. To truly be counted as friends of Jesus, we must follow His commands and embody love as He did. Jesus instructs His followers to uplift one another, as seen in 1 Thessalonians 5:11. By doing so, we reflect genuine friendship.
Jesus is the greatest friend, demonstrating love and sacrifice. In summary, friendship, according to Jesus, involves honesty, obedience, and a commitment to love, ultimately guiding us to build meaningful relationships built on faith and support.
What Did Jesus Really Think Of Family Values?
Jesus acknowledges the worth of the family as a divine creation but emphasizes that its significance is not absolute; it is not the main avenue through which God's grace operates in the world. He calls his disciples to prioritize their allegiance to him over familial ties. In Jesus' view, those who collaborate to fulfill God’s Will form the true family, regardless of blood relations. He redefines familial bonds based on choices rather than mere lineage, with values inverted where the least are the greatest and possessions are less important than people.
While affirming marriage and the blessing of children, Jesus' concept of family challenges traditional Mediterranean values and redirects focus to a broader, spiritual family grounded in shared commitment to God's vision rather than genetic connections. Jesus' teachings reflect "kingdom values" that prioritize community and justice over conventional family structures. He highlights the enduring bonds formed through faith, asserting that the gospel ties surpass familial connections.
Although he preached fidelity and compassion, Jesus did not endorse a specific lifestyle surrounding familial relationships, leaving behind conventional family values. This radical reimagining calls believers to uphold these new principles, even at the risk of familial conflict, reflecting the strength of spiritual over biological bonds.
Why Does Jesus Say 'You Are My Friends'?
Jesus teaches His disciples about the essence of true love through friendship rather than marriage or romantic love, declaring, "You are my friends." This message extends to all of us. He elevates the disciples' status, revealing intimate knowledge and insider teachings, stating, "A master doesn’t confide in his slaves; now you are my friends" (John 15:15, NLT). The Lord Jesus embodies the ultimate friend, exemplified in hymns like "What a friend we have in Jesus." He defines a true friend: "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." Jesus emphasizes obedience, saying, "You are my friends if you do what I command." This signifies a profound relationship, moving from servitude to friendship and revealing the depth of His love.
He continually reassures us of His unwavering presence, readiness to listen, and genuine care for our feelings and struggles. The disciples were undoubtedly moved by Jesus calling them friends, a distinction previously reserved for figures like Abraham and Moses. Through this friendship, we are invited into a deeper relationship with God, marked by love and obedience. Jesus, the Word of the Father, emphasizes this transformative relationship, inviting us to share our lives with Him in prayer, and reminding us that He is always available and caring. In essence, Jesus calls us friends and actively engages in this profound relationship of love and trust.
📹 What if My Family Doesn’t Believe in Jesus? // Time of Grace // Mike Novotny
What should I do if my family doesn’t believe in Jesus? I know I should pray, but is there anything else I should do? This week …
I ignored a narcissist for years, hoping he would mature and act like an adult. He never did so one day, I gave him some of his own treatment, I humiliated him in front of others, he immediately went red, shut his mouth and stayed far away from afterwards. Turning the other cheek never got me anywhere, it was only when I took action that the situation improved. You just have to stand up to a bully.
Been struggling in my marriage of 36 years to a narcissistic spouse. Was so confused for years until 5+ years ago what it was. Counselor enlightened me about the emotional and narcissistic abuse from my husband. It is absolutely life sucking, praying everyday, trying to be faithful to my marriage vows and having to call out my husband when needed is truly exhausting! I pray too for all those who are struggling in their marriages with a narcissistic spouse. God help us all! Thank you for the article!
This verse makes me think of a narcissist: Proverbs 9:8 NKJV Do not correct a scoffer, lest he hate you; Rebuke a wise man, and he will love you. Whenever telling a narcissist that they have hurt you, offended you or you Correct them, he will hate you and tell you how wrong you are. A truly sincere person will apologize and admit their wrong
I have to disagree with #2, at least if you’re talking about within marriage. A narcissistic spouse will NOT receive being told they’re a narcissist and will simply increase the abuse. The best thing to do is just don’t engage. Ever. In other words, what she first said: ignore them. Granted it will drive them crazy when they realize you will no longer be controlled by them. Tough luck. Narcissists make themselves into gods. My husband talks the talk, but is a complete hypocrite. Just like the Pharisees. Judging me, accusing me, beating me down emotionally. I did everything I could to be the good Christian wife and mother. Read all the books. And I managed to raise 4 amazing children practically on my own because my husband was hardly ever around. Now, I refuse to take his abuse. Sometimes I frankly hate my life because the person who was supposed to love and cherish me ’til death do us part has spent decades trying to make feel like a failure. But I’m not a failure. And funny thing is, not only do I like who I am, but a lot of other people do too. When I get down I think about my kids and grandkids and what a blessing they are. 💓 P.S. I finally divorced him after 40 years. I’m free!
Thank you Kris for your message. I was naive to what my ex was, married 40 plus years to someone who usually only thought of himself, it became worse after having my daughters, he felt jealous over my attention to them!! As a young Christian wife I tried sooo hard to follow the Bible in being submissive, putting him first, giving more to my husband in love, always giving him final say over most things. I feel the church has NO idea on this subject of narcissism & mine was a covert so he presented soo well. I’ve been divorced 1 1/2 years now & it’s really hard to start over @ 68. He had someone in the wings for years & when I said things need to change, he said no & in his words moved on to plan B. He’s doing everything he told our daughters not to do in relationships. I feel so duped, I believed his whole line of being a Christian etc. my daughters have very little to do with him. The churches need to learn about these people, my pastor & his wife had no clue & I looked like the rebellious wife!!
I have a narcissistic mother. I’m 57 and she’s always been abusive. To this day. I keep contact limited for the most part. It’s text messages to check on her. I made the mistake of changing my New Year’s Day plans to go to her house. She wore me down until I did it. It was horrible. Her flying monkeys were there and after dinner I started helping her clean up. In came the “have you gained weight”? back handed compliments, smirking.. absolutely a nightmare. One of her flying monkeys tried to start an argument with my husband. I won’t be making that mistake again. The same thing happens when I call, so no more phone calls. She has let me know that her friends that have children that don’t go visit them well, they don’t get an inheritance. Fine with me. My joy and my peace are not for sale. I think Jesus is ok with that. It’s not His will that we be habitually abused in any shape form or fashion.
My sister is a classic manipulative narcissist. All my life I have had to put up with her underhanded remarks and her manipulations. Every time I am around her, I feel absolutely unhinged with her superior like personality. 7 trips to visit me up North, and I paid for them all. I just absolutely had to distance myself from her, and she still harresses me in text messages. She draws me in and I will feel guilty. She is a pastor and chaplain. I could write an entire book on her alone.
Calling it out does more harm than good when dealing with a true narcissist and if your parent, spouse, child, co worker, etc is one, it’s almost impossible to get away from it. Good article but I did feel like it minimized an extremely complex topic. Unless you walk a mile you really can’t know how destructive and diabolical these people are. They literally try to destroy others. Praise God for HIS mercy and grace.
So so grateful for all these articles. For 30yrs I thought I maybe losing my mind. My marriage just kept getting worse and I tried to stay in my lovewalk everyday. I have many faults but knew it wasn’t me….thank you. I now have hope and cried when I realized I wasn’t alone..forever grateful my brothers and sisters in Christ. As Kings kid I knew God would make a way. Hallelujah
In the past few years, I am just realizing both of my (Christian) parents have some narcissistic behaviours. Your articles have really helped me overcome some difficult situations. I have gained self confidence and have learned my true identity doesn’t come from what they think of me – it comes from Christ alone!! I have tried hard to people please for so long (and thought it was the right thing because of our call as Christians to be servants), but I’ve realized my focus and purpose was wrong! I was actually doing things to make my parents proud of me and maybe see me as the (almost 30) year old that I am. I am SO grateful God has opened my eyes so that I can be a better woman of God, break the cycle, and keep my joy! My husband has been so supportive and has also helped me keep a positive perspective on things. I know from the pain I’ve gone through of how I now can learn and make a difference for my future and leave a legacy! It is honestly all by God’s amazing grace that I am who I am today, and He has protected my heart. I am forever grateful for my parents for the sacrifices they’ve made for me and I continue to pray for them. I have to prepare my mind and heart everytime I’m around them, but I know that God has a plan and purpose for everything. Thank you for your wise words!
Kris Reece: This is an encouragement to continue to ignore all evil, ignorant, unaware and unbiblical comments. I hope you’re very good at it by now. Never let any of them get under your skin. You know what you’re talking about, you’re gifted and you are greatly helping those of us who are living what you’re talking about. We thank you.
Ugh. Thank you! I REALLY needed to hear this! My entire family scapegoats me. My mother is so toxic and she’s elderly which makes it worse because it allows her to act like a complete victim. And all of ‘my siblings buy into it and encourage her. She has told me to my face, “you should take care of me. you owe me. i raised you.” Yet she has never said that to my other siblings. I’m struggling financially so she and the rest of my siblings use that as a means to control me.. I’m so emotionally sick and tired of feeling confused about being a faithful loving servant of God’s and having to “honor a mother like this because of the ten commandments. It’s all so confusing. I try to be good person but my patience has worn thin. I can’t deal with this anymore.
Thank you for the Biblical based article. In the past, I have suffered dealing with multiple narcissists. The ones I have confronted in a loving way have shown toxic behavior such as rage fit, gaslighting, blame shifting, smear campaign, controlling, manipulation, etc. Ignoring and blocking the narcissist works for me.
I hope this blows up for you Dr. Reece, helping me (26 year old male) very much so in my walk with Christ and realized some enemies I didn’t know I had, my mother who I suspect has one of the most severe cases of Narcissistic Personality Disorder I think I’ve seen in any human which breaks my heart and has been breaking my fathers heart their whole marriage, he finally understands what is going on because of your biblical explanations and mentioned he felt a large burden lifted. God bless you and everyone else here, keep standing firm and prioritize JESUS! <3
What amazing timing for me to see this article. Our Savior is so Faithful. I’ve been seeking the Lord fervently on how to protect myself from my very abusive and toxic children. After 20 years of extreme narcissist torment from my ex.. the abuse and rejection only increased greatly from all sides for the following 30 years from my ‘flying monkey’ children. Parental alienation abuse from a world class narcissist ‘father.’ Now my children are all grown with families of their own.. my precious and loving grandchildren. I’ve always endured the torturous attacks to be close to the littles. I love them more than life itself… but just like their father they have learned to use my amazing and uplifting relationship with them as a weapon against me.Because of this I became so overwhelmed with PTSD, anxiety and depression I nearly ended my life. I certainly had no desire to live another day..But God.. I’ve recently realized that they will never change towards me.. they do not really know me. They’ve only seen me through their evil father’s eyes for a very long time. The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do is purpose in my heart to completely distance myself from them. I will probably never see my children or grands again in this life… if it wasn’t for my Lord’s compassion and Grace and the unconditional love and the welcoming and encouraging care of my church family I would have no anchor.. no Hope. Thank you again for sharing the confirmation and clear wisdom spoken by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
This is great teaching. Many have believed that Believers are just supposed to be walked all over and just say, “It’s alright, God will take care of it”. Yes, he will, but we have a part from time to time the Bible says we have to play and many of the scriptures you brought out, plus others is our part. Thank you for sharing.
I am nearly destroyed by 2 years with a predator I met online. I’m 61 and was so naïve. I was healing after my husband died, the worst grief I’ve ever known, but this man has harmed me in a way I never dreamed possible. I don’t feel I can overcome this extent of abuse at my age. Please pray for me. I’m isolated now. No money, no vehicle and too humiliated to let anyone I know, know. Im extremely affected. I’m nervous and scared and anxious and so alone. And having a hard time recovering from a severe concussion of over a year ago. I’m glad I found you and thank you for addressing the issue so articulately from a Christian perspective.
The only issue I had with no contact was that I struggled with the commandment to honor my mother. She passed last year. I had a long and combative relationship with her as the scapegoat. But I did take to heart that one of the 10 Commandments is to honor parents. I knew she would never change and I knew the contact wore on my soul. Leaving her in her aged condition was not an option for me. I know many victims do … We have to choose what we believe is best for us. I did know how to draw boundaries with her, but I will admit that until she passed, I was in constant emotional turmoil over our relationship. Still working through all of it now that she is gone.
Wow that was exactly what I needed to hear thank you so much . I am dealing with a narcissistic mother, really terrible and has caused me so much pain and misery and to my 2 sisters . She plays one sister off against the other by spreading lies and then places herself as the innocent victim in the middle of the storm …..I called on the Lord in desperation and His mighty wisdom pointed me to this passage in Proverbs ……when the whisperer is silenced all contentions cease ……my, by distancing myself and cutting her off ….no more arguments….she was literally tearing my family apart …..now peace and quiet ….
Im struggling with narcissist person ..Im totally destroyed with her accusations and even telling all my issues to people around her and worst is she even involved my love ones ..Please Lord help me and rescue me. I pray in the name of JESUS to silent the enemy. No weapon perform against me shall prosper, And every tongue that rises against me in judgement shall condemn, For this is the heritage of the servant of Lord.. 🙏🙏🙏❤
My husband has a lot of narcissistic traits. In the beginning of our relationship he drove me crazy with the word salad and always trying to turn things around on me. I didn’t realize I was dealing with a highly narcissistic person. Once I realized, I learned how to place boundaries and how to respond to his behavior instead of getting caught up in his crazy making. It’s made a world of difference for us both. He’s grown quite a bit and has learned to honestly communicate instead of taking offense and lashing out over every little thing. On occasion, he reverts to old behaviors and I still refuse to get caught up in the crazy making and I simply say I’m not doing this, please answer the question that I asked, etc. Never allow a narcissist to control your emotions or reactions. Once you master this with healthy boundaries they fail to hold power over you.
I thought I was a failure in life especially in marriage cos of the abuse my narc husband and absent father kept pushing down my throat. It’s 32 long years that I’ve endured. Now our 4 wonderful daughters,that I raised, are grown. I can sure have my life back. It’s only about 5 years ago that I learnt about narcissism from my psychologist. All along I believed the lies of my narc hubby. I lost myself in that process but now I’m recovering myself and allow myself be real to me!
Amen. 🌸..I’ve ignored, I’ve called them out ….but it didn’t change…in fact it became an ugly war…until I had to once again find the strength to call them out and cut them off. This person’s words have no weight with me anymore. I am so grateful to God for bringing me out of that situation so safely. I always say God is sensitive about me
This was so tremendously helpful. Thanking God for this message. So many of us who are believers in God feel so stuck because we’re doing exactly what you’re describing… praying for them and waiting for them to change but unfortunately, this sin leads to death. Because without repentance or being a doer of God’s word not just a hearer it’s impossible to please God. So I suddenly feel immensely free. Thanking the Lord God in Jesus name for this realistic word. I can stop feeling like two people now. Thinking I’m failing God in this one area of my life because of the distain and disgust I feel towards the narcissist in my life which is my biological mother. I now feel comfortable walking away and never looking back. It’s never wise to bring garbage back in the house. Hallelujah to the Most High God.
Amen. Strive for a stalemate if you find life’s challenges against the narcissist feeling like a chess game. They can’t stand it if they’re unable to acquire a checkmate against you, considering winning is top priority in every aspect to every situation throughout their lives. The stalemate tactic ‘is’ your checkmate over them, otherwise putting them in ‘check’ before the checkmate occurs just causes them to upset the board. The stalemate approach enables you to minimize your stakes in an outcome, forcing them instead to maximize and drain all of their resources and energy in a situation they can never win at.
I have a narcissist attached that feeds on my soul, how low can one go! I loosen myself of anyone to break in in my body, soul or spirit, in agreement with this whole message and matthew 9:10-12, matthew 23:29-30, matthew 10:12-16, 1 john 5:16 in the name and blood of Jesus Christ, amen and hallelujah!
God has answered my prayer. I have been asking counselors and doctors how to deal with my narcissistic husband. I cannot just up and leave him, not right now anyway. I really hope I don’t have to. I’m going to watch, listen and read everything you have made available. Thank you so much for allowing our Lord to use you to help others. I will pray for your ministry.
Nice to see the bible applied to this topic. I was married to a covert narcassist. I found out that he had indeed murdered his wife in the early 1970’s. She was only 16. He spent 12 years in prison but convinces as many as possible that he was exonerated. Reality is that he was let out on a technicality that had nothing to do with him & his trial. He was to be retried but finding all the witnesses against him again was not possible so he walked. Ann Rule, an author of true crime wrote about him. He the one who told me about it & he hadn’t read it but actually thought she’d write good things about him. After i left him I read it & it perfectly filled in the blanks. I walked away leaving almost everything i owned behind. I didn’t even go to the divorce hearing with my lawyer. Years later he sent a couple of nasty emails to me but in such a way that though the email had his name as sender it was unable to go back to him. I ignored him. Seven years later I saw him in passing but that’s it. Definitely have looked over my shoulder knowing how he is. God very recently dealt with me on the whole issue of him. Loving a narcassist can leave such scars & confusion. Letting go is very difficult as you are letting go of something that never was yet was. God finally showed me where my ex husband had shattered, where he became the narcassist he is. I don’t know how to explain it, but God has finally healed my heart & I can finally move on. He belongs to a religion where he has rejected the work that Jesus did on the cross.
This article gave me hope!! People who have never experienced a covert narcissist will never understand the pain and psychological trauma that comes with it. It’s easy for people on the outside looking in to say you’re being dramatic but God sees all, knows all, and will deal with the hidden agendas of a covert narcissist!!! Seeing this article let’s me know that the way I’ve been handling this situation is the way I’m suppose to deal with it and that I’m not wrong. People can take sides and chose to believe what they want to believe but one day the Spirit of Truth (Holy Spirit) will reveal what was hidden all these years and can no one dispute, come against, or discredit the truth He reveals. People can make excuses for the narcissist but they can’t deny that they were wrong for their role they played in being the narcissist flying monkey. I can’t wait for vindication because narcissist don’t learn from previous relationships to change for the better. They use what they learned to get better at their game. But God…
Excellent! I’ve had to deal with the trauma of growing up in a very dysfunctional home. Alcoholic Father and Narcissistic Mother. Bad Combo. I’ve worked through it from a psychological aspect, but it’s a constant spiritual struggle because of my siblings christian views that differ from mine. I’ve done everything you’ve suggested, but the guilt trip from siblings is the worst. We were in the trenches together, so it’s sad to see them keep taking the abuse and having a martyr contest. The one sister is literally making herself sick trying to be so “perfect”. Thanks for the validation. Letting go of the situation has given me the peace to grow in my faith and help the people that God has placed before me.
Thank you for this insightful message. I’m praying for myself, that I can let go of or overcome the bitter taste of what a particular narcissist has taken from me. I need to learn to quickly and effectively recognize the narcissists that enter my life “in sheep’s clothing”. As I mature in life, I am learning to identify how many of them do not immediately reveille their true nature. Some make it in “under the fence” looking for all the world like regular people. I’m learning that narcissism does not always show itself only in youthful, attractive and well-dressed people. A narcissist can grow old, like all the rest of us. They can look almost as bad as the rest of us and still be twice as evil and conniving.
I couldn’t care less about narcs. I’ve eliminated all the narcs that I could from my life. The only ones remaining being my boss and a couple of coworkers that I cannot get rid of. I avoid the coworkers and as for my boss, I had a meeting in the presence of my union rep, to tell him to never talk to me about anything, not even to say hi. Just the stuff that is work related and needs to be done. I also tend to attract narcissistic women in my romantic relationships, so while am working out the why do I attract the same type of women, I put a stop to romantic relationships. Being single is a good thing.
Ive thought about leaving my very toxic family for years…. thought I needed to forgive them. And I did and still do…..BUT that doesnt mean I have to visit them or have an active relationship with them. I forgave but I also chose to walk my own path. Everybody has the right to live your own life without toxicity. Forgiving is just a way not to life in resentment, quilt, shame or other toxic feeling or thoughts. Forgiving is setting you free. ❤❤
Thankyou this really helped me. As I have been desperatly holding onto my narcisstic husband and believing I must pray for him. But he and his narcisstic parents have bullied me, threatened me and abused me for 3 years and my husband was getting more controlling, nasty and violent till he broke 4 of my ribs. I still feel devistated the marriage is over but my husband has shown no care, no remorse despite claiming to be Christian which is a lie. His actions show his not a Christian. A man is known by his fruits. Gods people are known by their love. No love for me. I have been completely discarded like trash. My hearts still healing and divorce is finalised in a few months😢💔
Love that! You’re sharp as a two edged sword! Love that! You’re fun to listen to, because one can feel you genuinly overcame. Regarding prayer – sometimes praying for a narc actually means praying for conviction and judgement. But only do that when your heart is in the right place. We don’t pray things like that out of revenge but of true care for their souls. We want to see them on their knees before God, beeing cleansed, and ultimately receiving true unconditional love.
Excellent article I’m glad I found this now, I suffer from narcissism and I surely was humbled it’s a part of Pride I think and vanity. It takes one of the most important fruits of the spirit being meekness and blasphemies it. Excellent article it opened my eyes to a lot of my own narcissism both in the self-righteous spectrum and in the woeful Spectrum to seek attention.
As a once toxic person and senior class empathic narcissist, I 💯 percent agree with all you have said. Jesus did all these very things to me. I fought Him brutally because my narcissist personality would not allow me to see myself as in need of His grace and ” to have ears to listen” my ego was so big, yet weak that I admittedly was an antiChrist. I believed in His name but not having the humility necessary to be of His Spirit. It wasn’t until 2020, just before the pandemic became a concern here in The USA that I had enough of my own toxins to get down on bended knee and ask Him to divorce me from me, to take my toxicity away from me. I did relapse here and there but lately I have been humbled so much that all I want in life is Him. I just want to serve Him and others, so yes, narcissistic behavior can be corrected but only once the narcissist gets sick of the suffering they face from the suffering they cause and give it over to Our King, the only who deserves a crown.❤
“Exceptions to the rule: Anger can be managed. Narcissism can be overcome. Toxic people can get healthy. However, the exception only comes into play when the angry person is making a concerted effort to change. This means, acknowledging their wrongdoing, stopping the behavior (even though there will likely be slipups), and getting professional help.” I’m finding your book helpful. I had to comment on this paragraph above. Narcissists will not change except for a miracle of DIVINE power. They think they are normal. Mam, I’m 80 year’s old, and I’ve been involved with narcissistic people most of my adult life in marriages and in churches. They will not change. Nor will they submit to professional help.
I’ve been perusal articles for a few months now on narcissism, most recently praying about love your neighbor as yourself, if you don’t love, then, you don’t have God, help the needy and the poor etc. in this article was an answer to prayer because even though I’m a Christian for decades now, apparently I always go too farwith literal activity and it backfires. Thank you for this post and I’m following you now because I really need Christian perspective.
I think my adult daughter is demonized with multiple spirits of narcissism from her deceased biological father. She consistently causes arguments and ruthless smear campaigns against anyone who won’t go along with her manipulation, lies and abuse. She’s cruel, vindictive, slanderous, and will make up outrageous & horrible lies – especially towards me, my husband, her brother, and those who love her the most, but who resist her manipulation tactics. However, she’s covert about her narcissism, and most don’t see the Jekyll & Hyde personality because she hides it from the unsuspecting. She needs deliverance but she’s too blinded by pride and rebellion to seek help.
Thank you… boy am I in a dilemma with my toxic parents. Have a narcissistic Father (I’m a child of God btw) and I have a cruel, demonically oppressed mother… Been dealing with this almost 36 years and sadly I’m kind of forced to be dependent on my dad for some things so I can’t completely get away from him. I don’t know what to do. They’re both mockers and scoffers. Extremely harmful. Never ever been protected by either of them when predators have come for me. All my cries fell on deaf ears. Thank God I have Jesus. Thank God for Him!
Thank you for this, it’s been the most painful experience I’ve ever encountered, being in love and trying to love my now xgf, who I’ve come to grips with, is a covert type of narcissist. Also look at 2 Timothy 3:1-7. Good showed me that my focus needs to be on my relationship with Him, repenting of my Relational Sin, not focused on hers (that’s between her and God now) & growing towards Relational Holiness, first with Him then with others. Sometimes Relational Holiness with toxic people, like narcissists, who demonstrate behaviors like described in 2 Timothy 3:1-7, means to get out of God’s way and to pray for them to be broken, humbled & repent of their sin and acknowledge their need for Jesus forgiveness as their savior.
Thank you for these timely and accurate teachings about narcissists/Narcissistic Personality Disorder using the words of the Jewish Rabbi Joshua/Jesus the Messiah/Christ. In taking a closer look at this mental illness, I found that it is common among men. That explains a lot about a lot of men I have dealt with & gotten away from. It all reminds me of the Bible verse where it says, “(Jesus) did not commit Himself unto them because He knew what was in man.” Be careful around the mentally ill. If you get on their wavelength often enough, they will infect with their mental illness. That is why they talk non-stop, to keep people tuned in to their wavelength until they have spread their mental illness to them. “Misery loves company.”
I never knew about narcissism & don’t remember ever knowing anyone with a full display of narcissistic behavior until I had to deal with one (it was a new superior in my work place) in the past 2 years. In an effort to understand the toxic situation I was in with this person, I got to learn about this personality disorder. As a believer in Christ who only want to please Him, I was swaying between anger & frustration with her unkindness & meanness, to feeling sorry for the state of her soul & praying for her salvation. It was a constant battle for me of wanting to do the right thing while feeling guilty for the anger I was feeling… finally I have left that work place after my decades of service (I was working there long before she joined the management just 3 years ago). It was too toxic & was taking a toll on my emotional health, what a roller coaster of emotions I was on! Thank you, your points in the article is very freeing for me & help me see a different perspective from a Biblical point of view of how our Lord Jesus handled such ones. Now I see that ignoring & walking away must not be accompanied with guilt if that’s the right thing to do under the circumstance 🙂 for I can still pray for this person away from a toxic situation. I just need to constantly check that my heart is right before God. Oh, what a learning curve that was, on this faith journey!! With God’s grace, I’m still learning & still recovering from the trauma 🙏 But knowing that those left behind in my former work place are now experiencing what I had gone through 🤦♀️ is not making it easy🙏
Great article! However the scripture says we should pray about everything. I will never stop praying for the narcissist in my life. The scripture you referenced (1 John 5:16) can more likely be interpreted as praying for forgiveness or mercy to be shown to someone that has no remorse or repentance to God. However, it does not mean that you shouldn’t pray for their repentance or a heart change.
Thank you for sharing what God has shown you. If it had not been for God himself telling me to go as well as being sensitive to the Holy Spirit I would be one of those wives still abused and saying BUT CAN’T GOD SAVE ALL. This is not an issue of CAN GOD SAVE ALL. We know His desire is to save but He will not go against the mans will to be saved. It was an appointed time that God told me to go and whew wee if he didn’t allow me to find out that the man had been having extramarital affairs and all the evil darkness that was done over the years without my full knowledge. I always knew something was wrong and I felt a lot of blasphemy, I felt HE wanted to be my God or have a place higher than Gods, I noticed he did not live what he spoke, I found him in multiple lies and everything he did I would later find out was for his own benefit (Joined the same church as me after years of refusing to go to the same church, well that was because he was jealous of me securing a spot on the worship team so what did he do? He joined the church and weaseled his way onto the team and turned many of them against me). He was vile and evil and although I had a lot of sympathy because just like the devil “God can you not give him another chance, maybe he can repent” but NOOOO God knows the heart of man. In going to therapy after God said Go the Lord allowed me to follow the truth of NO CONTACT and getting out from under the trauma bond and how he abused me with scriptures that sound like I wasnt’ being forgiving, or no divorce, or not being submissive and pleasing my husband.
I made his abandoning and betraying me, be all about me. ACTUALLY, it’s all about HIM! He has severe PTSD, years of trauma, and has an avoidant attachment style. Top Triggers of Dismissive Avoidants: – Volatility They value safety via consistency, predictability, congruency, you showing up. Unpredictable = unsafe. Needs: safety, security, certainty. – Criticism Blunt, harsh words trigger the “I am defective wound”. They then feel shame and they want to run and hide. – Expectation Expectation makes them feel incapable. “Sometimes my partner wants stuff, I do my best, but I don’t get it right and I feel, ‘why bother’ because I feel defeated and hurt and vulnerable even just trying to do it.” – Pressure to Open Up or Be Vulnerable This triggers feeling unsafe, trapped, weak, or controlled. They fear losing their independence. Independence = survival. – Not Feeling Acknowledged. They don’t need approval, but they do value feeling acknowledged when they’re trying. They don’t know if they’re doing a good job at the emotional stuff because of a lack of modelling. It’s already a huge effort for them to try in relationships… So them making an effort is them facing their biggest fears. So if they make a huge effort, and it still doesn’t get acknowledged, that’s where they give up. – Violated Boundaries If someone infringes on their boundaries, their space, they’re triggered. It goes hand-in-hand with pressuring them to open up. Still, all the above being said, nonetheless… they have each other.
Thank you. I thought I could avoid the narcs, but ended up renting from one. I grew up with their crazy making and abuse. I thought God saved us by giving us an affordable housing solution, but ended up in hell. Cannot see any ways out. Honestly, I am loosing faith. It has simply been too much, for too long. What kind of God would watch me suffer over and over and over again, constantly praying and crying for help.
pray for i 7 years married to narcissis man he hate everyone even his own childrens and wife and animals he hate God tink always of himself and just do everyting for him not for us its so sad hows possible to be like that its horror living with that kind of peoples,,may Jesus deliver us free us from any evildouers amen
Does Matthew 10 pertain to narcissistic parents as well? I live with both parents who are both narcissistic and I am pretty convinced my mother has a jezebel spirit. It highly triggers anger in me and as of last night i desperately prayed for God to open doors financially to get me out of here. My sanity is on the tip if it wasn’t for God and his purpose keeping me right now, the destroying thoughts would just overtake me.
This is speaking of abuse at the hands of others, and it is good that that fine line between love, forgivenes and mercy in all Christian lives, is not stepped onto when it comes to severe repeative physical or mental abuse from another person. God does in fact gives up certain kind of people, namely the habutial sinner and denier of Him. He hates liars, and when abuse is in a relationship almost always lies are spoken. Thank you for this article.
I’m trying to reconcile cutting someone out of my life who wants me to be their best friend While being really nasty and horrible with their behaviour, along with realising that I have to keep that person out of my life so that they don’t endanger my well-being or physical safety. i’m so glad that Jesus lets us love and forgive people from a distance if we can’t keep the door open for them because of safety reasons. i’m all about shaking the dust off my feet and moving on instead of putting up with manipulation and other horrible things.
If you think about it, when it comes to our relationship with God we are all narcissists. Most of the times we do things for us, to please us, that we think best for us and very little to please God. God made us for His glory and pleasure, to glorify and please Him. The fact that He gave us free will and does not force us to do it, shows how much he loves us that He wants us to freely love Him back. So when we pray the ”Our Father” prayer and come to the part which says ”Thy Will be done”, we must always check ourselves if we truly do His will or ours.
Thank you so much. I don’t even know how I found you but I’m so glad that I did. I have had to cut my stepdaughters off because they are so entitled and show me no respect. The gaslighting was so bad! I’ve been a little concerned that maybe what I was doing was not biblical. I blocked them on facebook and I go in my room and ignore them when they come over to see their dad. There hasn’t been a yelling match for over a year now. I feel so much better now. God bless you!!!
Really appreciate this article. Churches need to address how to deal with narcs. Ours always taught love them and you don’t want anything to keep you out of heaven. Meanwhile, it is ok they abuse you thinking goes on. I have had multiple opportunities to confront several of these kind over the last ten years. Confrontation is not an easy thing for me to do, but I am getting better at it. Had to scream at one recently and it was so obvious they were in the wrong. Looked like they got caught with their hand in the cookie jar because they did. Tried to blame me. Still pushing some, but also knows we will involve the legal system if necessary. No doesn’t mean keep pushing. Have been living as a Christian person my whole life and now I am having to blast them to get through to them. Won’t tolerate them. I would correct a child and they are no different.
I can’t say that calling out and or confronting a narc or toxic person is always the best approach. In short, I tried to kindly speak to my Granddaughters Step Mother about the verbal/mental/psychological abuse she was influcting on my 10 year old Granddaughter on a constant basis to where it has caused so much anxiety within my Granddaughter. It didn’t matter how kind or loving I was while speaking to her, she immediately started screaming at me, projecting, placing blame while playing the victim, thus throwing me out of her house. It was heartbreaking. 😢 My Son sat there and watched this all unfold, while she attacked him as well for not standing up for her. Upon leaving, I ask my Son if we could talk, he refused and now I am no longer allowed to see my Granddaughter who I was very close with. It’s very painful and sad. That being said, I believe in this case, her abuse needed to brought to light for the sake of my Grandchild, however, it only made things worse. I’ve laid this all at the feet of Jesus in prayer. Jesus is the ONLY one that has the possibility to get through to her, obviously I couldnt. 😢
It is always great to live in the image of God to the best of our ability. I was a Psychology major and Religion minor, and love bible versus. Additionally, I think the words of the word can be taken by face value but not always. In other words, it depends on how we intrepret what was written. I do agree with Kris in regards to walking away like Jesus did when we have an intuitive reasoning to do so even with family members or friends or enemies.
My 18yr old Granddaughter was blaming me for her mistake, and I told her that she was being a narcissist. She didn’t like that and kept it up. Instead of getting mad, I started calling her a Karen. Now she is upset with me, but I’m a happy camper!! I avoid meeting with her, bc she’ll just pick up where she left off last time. Maybe she’ll change with time….
There is no doubt that narcissism is a mental disorder. And it is possible to be treated if the subject is willing. These are the days of the me mentality. But let’s not be too hard on them. Because if an adulterer or a thief or a liar or even a murderer can have a change of life and be a different person by the good graces of God, a narcissist can as well. Like you said and I agree that limited contact is one good way to deal with one. But at times when it doesn’t hurt you, you can show them kindness too. And that kindness might just help their way to get them on the right path. You just have to use good judgement and not set yourself up as their victim. I know quite a few of these people but I do believe that God expects us to lend a caring hand when we can. 😊
This was 2 years ago, but my first time seeing it. Very helpful, Kris! This is pretty much how I handle the narc in my life…except the “cutting off” part is hard to do if you are married and stay. If it is bad enough and the Lord leads one to it, permanent separation is necessary to move forward. It is hard to heal emotionally when you are constantly dealing with abuse, even though God gives grace. For many, you have to make the hard decision to leave.
Thank U so much. U clearly explained it. May God empower and bless u more and more. I’m a young entrepreneur and evangelist, at the age of 28, I’m always praying that God will give me a God-fearing wife, that both of us can live as Christians. I have met narcissists several times. They : *Kill effort *belittle ur achievements *Don’t support u, but want to get from u. *think they are more important than u *Don’t accept their wrongs, and not willing to change *are lustful *use their beauty to track down weaker men *are pretender *they lie continously. Best solution :cut them off, focus on ur goals, positive things and positive people, and draw more closer to God, do personal fasting and praying, and God will direct u to the right person at the right time 👍
This is good! I do ignore these 4narcissists! I will no more argue, no comment their way, their ideas, I even begun t hardly listen to them cause I am tired of doing it many times! One day God said me: don’t try to justify yiurself!yourself! Since then, I stop when they come across! They reject, refit my sayi sa y the same thing with their own word simply to proof me wrong! To Help with the Devil! Bless you dear sister! No discussion with the demonize d !
So good!! Thank you! Many churches and Christian counselors are ill-equipped. So many poor people given terrible help and things made worse! Thank you for stepping out in faith and educating. Unfortunately, the victim when calling out gets blamed as the narcissist whose on the smear campaign. It’s challenging and “calling out” needs proof behind it.
My soon to be wifes parents are the meanest narcissistic athiest people I have ever met in my entire life. They hate me and blame me for my SOs beliefs in Jesus Christ even though she was a believer before me. Now they are debating not coming over for Thanksgiving or Christmas because we PRAY. How evil.
I walked away from a relative who was gaslighting me. I told her how i felt. She took zero accountability and brought up things that had nothing to do with the issue at hand. Drama! When you’re alway’s giving but when you ask for something they pull a disappearing and no response act for a week or so and make excuses/denials/lies. I’ll move on with love in my heart. So long.😔
God knew EXACTLY what He did when allowing earthquakes to create oceans between countries🎉 He defends and keeps the super vulnerable safe like in my case – until we can step into our true callings – Proclaiming The Gospel to the ends of the earth, while saved by the blood of The Lamb and by the words of our testimonies; where He, not our earthly bloodline, receives ALL HONOUR, PRAISE AND GLORY!
Thanks for this. Many good and honest people have been made to feel guilty for wanting to free themselves from abuse. To see how Jesus handled the horrid ones of his age, surely helps. I also think of John the Baptist. He called them out ALL the time. And the first Christian martyr Stephen did too! But we also know, both were murdered by those vile ones. So, be careful out there.
I gave one to the ‘spotlight’ so some may learn of what they are. My summary of them; They are the lives who entrap others and expect those they have to make them look like a god. I personally know that they are ignorant and can hardly do anything for themselves let alone be a good example for others to learn. What do narcissists commonly do? If you do not fit into their LIFE 100% to the tee they do nothing, but complain and then spread lies about you.
I confronted my narc. The vile human played victim and had me feeling guilty and I had to apologize for speaking the truth. And the narc acted like a saint and said “it’s okay. Don’t worry I’m okay now” see the games they play?? Never confront them it’s pointless. Absolutely pointless. Their sickness is really deep. Just ignore them. Use grey rock technique. Set strong boundaries but never speak to them on an emotional level. These people will pay the price for the damage they cause one day. You maintain your distance.
In cemeteries the wooden cross is usually assembled with the wood by its edge. It’s about the Edge browser in Windows, or on some phones. The real cross was also assembled by the wood at the edge. A wooden crane was used to lift the cross, similar to those vehicles used today, but all if it was made of wood, and had wooden wheels.
When i worked for the government at a lab in NJ, most of the management was narcissistic, as there is collective narcissism or narcissism in groups. This occurres because they hod their personal ambitions behind the mission and developed what outsiders referred to as a countey club environment. Rewriting narratives, triangulating people against each other, verbally abusing subordinates (“kicking the cat”). Of course, there was an environment of “kissing up and kicking down” If you are a narcissist, you either wmaee these tactics as “earned” or you deny them. I tried to reason with a management team that was clearly violating standards of good and ethical practice. The problem went all the way up. After 8 years, far too late, i left on 5 days notice, with a mixed feeling of relief and regret that I had not left earlier.
I pray more people pray for discernment in all relationships as loving, kind people need to know they are targeted by narcs and that it is not a sin to separate from evil. Discernment needs to be taught more and more and encouraged as we do have authority over the demons/evil. Not everyone that behaves badly is a narc but we can use our authority to call it out which may help them and will set a boundary for us. To many put up with too much thinking it is loving and its not.
My sister is a narcissist. She coerced our mother to change her will to disinherit me. I also believe she was physically abusing our mother (hospital phoned me because her injuries were inconsistent with a ‘fall’ but I could get no evidence). It is illegal where I live to disinherit your offspring. I got a ‘settlement’ through my sister’s lawyer to prevent it from going to court (I think my sister was afraid of what might come out in a court case). It is truly heart breaking to realize your own sibling can be this evil. She has never contacted me since….never apologized or acknowledged what she did, even though she knows I know. (oh, and she was a Sunday School teacher for years!)
The unpardonable sin is Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. And it was specifically in reference to the context of the Pharisees contending that Jesus called upon Satan to get rid of Satan’s workers (“previous” situation Jesus was addressing) It was absolutely about being dismissive/rejecting God’s Sovereignty in spirit AND will. Context is important. And yes, I too am thankful to have met the Savior that carried a Sword (the Word of absolute truth AND the power) that He kept sheathed until He needed it. Remaining perfectly un- entangled in the ways of the common flesh. I praise Him for my deliverance from codependent patterns of living. ♥️ 🙏
After perusal a yt article in which a doctor of psychology asserts a strong correlation between bipolar disorder and narcissistic personality disorder, I am rethinking the popular demonization of narcs. The need of the narc to control everything with which it comes in contact may be a coping mechanism, albeit an irrational one, born from trauma in his/her family of origin. I’m keeping an open mind and trying to be led by the Spirit about this.
You have to be careful saving a drowning person so they don’t drag you down with them or claw you apart but you can still through them a life preserver. Breathe DEEP Breathe SLOW (through the nose) Experience the emotions and let them go. Mercy triumphs over judgment. Every abuser was first abused but never got a chance to heal…give them a chance. “Only liars think the Truth hurts because it destroys their illusions and delusions…To those that ‘Seek it’ it is music to their ears.” “Lie is at the centre of believe because only the Truth shall set you free whether you believe it or not…Have Faith and ‘Seek it’.”
I love Mathew 10:12-16. People who LOVE the Narcissist and think ‘I can LOVE SO MUCH no matter what. I can love the MOST. I will love him/her till I die..’ they are reverse Narcissists. They are enablers. CovertNarcissists. If you stay with a Narcissist and enable their behaviors YOU ARE CONSPIRING WITH THE….
My late husband of 34 years spent that time mentally, emotionally and physically destroying me. Young, innocent and faithful to God, I forgave him when he would put on the love you, sorry show because he knew my faith was strong. ‘However I did say many times “God’s perusal” ‘Forgive as I am forgiven’ was always there. There wasn’t one day that I was spared strife with him. 12,400 days of my life with him. I had a very deep trauma bond and also a very deep need to protect him from harm. A raging drunk I found all of this out pretty much at the wedding. I would love to tell you the dream I had the night he passed away.
I feel very sorry for my wife. She became a narc and chose the evil path. I feel that she sold her soul to the devil, she was never the same when we met and got married, she always had a difficult character but she was kind and caring. I recently caught her having an affair and we are now divorcing. She is showing no repentance or empathy towards me. We have a 6 year old kid together. I am faithful man and I have always believed in Jesus Christ, but earlier this year, I became even more attached to my religion, that is how God opened my eyes and I saw the light. At first, after I confronted her, I prayed for her and I really wanted her to change, I was not aware that she is a narcissist. Now I am praying only for my child and for myself
A “how to” of handling Narcissists are explained in 2:Timothy 2:23 But foolish and unlearned questions avoid, knowing that they do gender strifes. To find out the mind of a narcissist, then do a line upon line study of the words foolishG3474 unlearnedG521 strifesG3163. Find every place those words are in the NT, read every sentence and you’ll see in depth, the context, the mind of the narcissist.
This narc. Is a woman that i secured full time work taking care of. Her son was the same but covert. I worked for nearly a year and then finally retireing early just to keep my sanity. She guilted me several times afterwards and i wondered if i left her in the lurch. NOT… they had a back up plan. Until i watched this article i thought i was wrong that i left. But … i now know i was correct. Layers of abuse have been pealing off me. Yay… but i would come home sobbing. It wasnt until i got into a conversation with one of their neighbors. I could actually hear my own words of description of how it really was there. But it wasnt until i recieved the support of someone else to realize i had to break away from the rut.
Pls pray for me I am living with a narcissistic day by day n he is effecting my health n my relationship with Christ n our Heavenly Father. I’ve never been this distant from reading my Bible. I made a biggest mistake of letting him to live with me n now I fear of getting rid of him due to his past history as a felon that I wasn’t aware till just recently. Pls, pls pray that God will remove him just as he is able to remove mountains. God’s power is the only way that we can put our faith in. I need to become free from this whole toxicity.
After 20 yrs I just can’t take it anymore! I’m a Christ Follower but feel like I’m living with the Devil. Lord knows I’ve tried prayer, ignoring, forgiveness, blaming myself, isolating myself, calling out and pushing back to NO avail. Same horror….different day! I’ve finally decided to leave, I fought hard for our marriage but since everything is my fault I just can’t win. Thank you for sharing a biblical perspective on this insanity.
Narcissist can teach a lesson to a many proud people or to people with weak limits. They can create such an immense suffering than it can lead people to see any other last chance than to look for Jesus Christ before getting completely destroyed. Its sometimes for very stubborn ppl to who need a very hard ride lesson. Also it teaches not look for ANY persons acceptance ONLY Gods and that all that matters and thats enough. You become basically supernaturally immensly powerful, not in yourself but in Holy Spirit.
Many people who do not have a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, do have some narcissism that may even come and go. This is particularly common in people who are addicted. These represent a middle ground, where you have to use your judgment. But always remember, YOU cannot change another person. You can say your piece, but you are not responsible for the outcome.
The fall out after they pass was shocking to me. I expected the family unit to fall back into place like it never had been before. I expected that the codependent spouse who had never been able to do anything for themselves finally be able to see that they could have a life. Nope! I was the one who called the ambulance for my father because he was in serious medical condition and refused to go to the doctor. My family members ended up blaming me for calling the ambulance. Even my father, the narcissist, blamed me for it. Then he used the hospital stay as much to his advantage as possible. In the end there was an apology. Mom wouldn’t believe it. I didn’t know what to believe. That just shows you how mind-boggling the whole thing can be. The months following or a confusing mess but through trauma counseling I was able to heal. I had to step away from the family for a few months my head on straight and to heal. When you have grown up in it, and especially when it is couched in religion, the whole thing is even more manipulative. I read the book on boundaries. Our local women’s shelter uses it. It’s a christian-based book.
Further to this, when Jesus was resurrected He did not return to His accusers and mockers, the pharissees and others who tried to discredit Him. 1 John 5:16 refers to suicide although those who repent before dying are forgiven. And God is merciful; he understands our grief. Heb 10:16 refers to wilful unrepentant sin leading to spiritual death.
I just found this on another site and this is why people are confused with dealing with cruel people. Here it is: 1 Peter 2:20 “But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God.” Jesus suffered unjustly, being wrongly accused, ridiculed, beaten, and killed. He is the example of turning the other cheek and trusting God with the wrongs done to you. As 1 Peter 2:21 points out, “To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in His steps” (1 Peter 2:21). My understanding is that we are to be doormats to abusers and the abuse usually breaks a person down. For me, it made me realize that I can only count on God to be constant good in my life and never let me down.
I had an epiphany and I realized that my mom is a narcissist. I was going back in time and remembered everything. My mom was extremely petty with me growing up. She used the silent treatment or would go out of her way to isolate me or even take the side of another person who hurt me. I didn’t understood it back then. But I always felt bad for her. Because I knew she had a difficult upbringing. She would explain how the father of my child thinks and him not being in her life. I also think he’s a narcissist. I think that has allowed her to give me that information. She decided to end out relationship for holding her accountable. It’s disappointing because I can see she’s stuck. Like she’s stunted in growth. If she wear to get unstuck I think her life can be better. I still have no desire to wish them ill. But I’m glad that God made them clear to me. I could be in a dysfunctional relationship with them both.