To deal with toxic family members, it is essential to create boundaries and avoid buying into their negativity. These individuals often overstep limits, disrespect decisions, intrude on privacy, and disregard boundaries entirely. Consistent chaos and conflict can also be a result of these relationships.
To identify toxic family members, recognize signs of toxicity, and find tips to deal with them effectively, including when to walk away. It is possible to confront a toxic family member if they are not aware of the damage they are doing, but dealing with toxic family members can be more complicated due to the relationship making it harder to break off contact.
Some basic characteristics of toxic behavior include manipulation, blaming, lying, and being emotionally draining. To deal with toxic family members, it is crucial to be polite and courteous, let the negativity be replaced by your positivity, and focus on things you want to do. As an entrepreneur, standing up for your vision to your family and friends might be the best practice for the life that awaits you.
To deal with toxic people effectively, you need an approach that enables you to control what you can and eliminate what you can’t. Decide your role in the relationship, set (and stick to) boundaries, and decide whether the relationship is one you can maintain.
When considering closing the door on your business dreams or walking away from a relationship, consider setting boundaries, being a positive influence, and seeking support. A technique called appreciative inquiry can help draw out the best from a negative person.
| Article | Description | Site |
|---|---|---|
| When starting a business how do you deal with family … | Be polite and courteous with them. Let the negativity be replaced by your positivity. Focus on things you want to do. They are your parents, so … | quora.com |
| How to Deal With Unsupportive Friends and Family | As an entrepreneur, standing up for your vision to your family and friends might possibly be the best practice you will get for the life that awaits you. | entrepreneur.com |
| 12 Ways Successful People Handle Toxic People | To deal with toxic people effectively, you need an approach that enables you, across the board, to control what you can and eliminate what you can’t. | entrepreneur.com |
📹 Stop Caring What Your Parents Think Jordan Peterson
Must-read Jordan Peterson Books: ▷ Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life: https://amzn.to/3sawG0G ▷ 12 Rules for Life: An …
How To Let Go Of Family That Hurts You?
Letting go of childhood baggage requires a thorough self-reflection on unresolved hurt and disappointment. Start by listing these feelings and delving deeper to understand their impact on your current mental and emotional health. Acknowledge how toxic family members contribute to ongoing pain and make a deliberate choice to release this burden. Forgiveness varies in meaning, but fundamentally, it involves choosing to relinquish resentment and anger. Although the hurtful actions may linger, pursuing forgiveness can diminish their emotional hold over you, leading to personal liberation.
Evaluate the overall dynamics of your familial relationships, recognizing that even those who love you can cause harm. Prioritize your well-being while communicating with these family members, adjusting your expectations for their responses. Stop underestimating the damage caused and let go of the fantasy of their change. It’s crucial to establish boundaries in the face of toxic behavior.
Consider recent scientific insights that support emotional healing and resilience. Embrace steps to reclaim your life, such as understanding the reasons behind your emotional attachments and forgiving those who’ve hurt you. Engage in practical strategies like detaching from negative interactions, avoiding triggers, and maintaining distance as needed. Surround yourself with positive influences, communicate openly about your feelings, and seek support from trusted individuals. Ultimately, your worth is not defined by how others treat you.
How To Deal With Gaslighting Family Members?
If you wish to stay in a relationship or attend stressful family gatherings despite gaslighting, consider these strategies. First, acknowledge and affirm your feelings, recognizing the manipulation you’re facing. Identify your triggers and refrain from engaging in power struggles with the gaslighter, who could be a parent, sibling, or friend. Communicating with them may help if you feel safe doing so. Gaslighting distorts reality and is often used by narcissistic individuals, leading to emotional confusion and abuse.
Establish boundaries to protect your energy and recognize gaslighting signs. Stay confident in your beliefs to counter self-doubt and avoid playing the victim. When dealing with toxic family dynamics, prepare yourself emotionally before interactions. If confronting the gaslighter isn’t feasible, consider limiting contact and utilizing the "gray rock" method to minimize engagement. Documenting their behavior can help reinforce your reality, while journaling serves as a reminder of the truth. Encourage discussions with trusted individuals, like therapists, to navigate these emotions. Ultimately, valuing your mental health is crucial in handling such complex relationships.
Can A Toxic Family Member Affect Your Mental Health?
Toxic behavior from family members—be it parents, siblings, or extended relatives—can lead to significant emotional distress and adversely affect mental health. Although severing ties isn't always feasible, learning to navigate these relationships is essential for personal well-being. Long-term involvement in toxic relationships, regardless of whether they stem from romantic partners, friends, or family, can contribute to conditions such as depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.
Recognizing the signs of a toxic relationship is crucial for intervention. Remaining in toxic family dynamics without addressing them can lead to emotional burnout and deteriorate mental health. Characteristics of toxicity may include various forms of abuse—physical or emotional. Signs of a toxic family include feelings of worry, irritability, and tension, which can strain trust and hinder lasting relationships. Over time, toxic environments deteriorate self-esteem and generate chronic stress, potentially resulting in health concerns.
Effective coping strategies involve setting boundaries, recognizing harmful patterns, and seeking professional help or therapy. Acknowledging negative familial dynamics is essential for healing, allowing individuals to improve their mental and physical health. Ultimately, maintaining self-care and awareness when interacting with toxic family members is vital for fostering a healthier mindset and emotional resilience.
How Can You Deal With Toxic Family Members?
Dealing with toxic family members requires a personalized approach; there’s no singular right or wrong way. Some may choose to cut off contact entirely, while others might limit interactions to safeguard their emotional health. It’s crucial to seek professional support and recognize that you're not alone in this struggle. Establishing firm boundaries is vital, even though it can be challenging. Recognizing toxic family dynamics is the first step, as is understanding the negative impact they can have on your emotional well-being.
Signs of toxicity can include a constant need for self-protection when interacting with a family member. For many, sharply limiting or completely severing ties becomes essential for self-preservation. It’s important to remember that doing so doesn’t make you a bad person. To effectively manage these relationships, identify toxic behaviors and implement strategies such as setting boundaries and seeking external support. Salvaging relationships with toxic family members can be challenging but is sometimes possible.
Key strategies for navigating these dynamics include deciding your role in the relationship, maintaining boundaries, taking breaks if needed, and preparing for difficult encounters. Planning how to handle these situations, including recognizing when to distance yourself and seeking support from friends or mental health professionals, is pivotal. In extreme cases, finding physical distance, like relocating, may become necessary to foster a healthier life. Ultimately, focus on building positive relationships outside the toxic family circle for a more fulfilling life.
How To Deal With Toxic Manipulative Family Members?
Dealing with toxic family members requires strategic approaches to protect your well-being. Here are seven tips:
- Set clear boundaries and communicate them consistently, ensuring they know your limits.
- Limit interactions to reduce the emotional toll on yourself.
- Avoid isolation by seeking support from friends or professionals.
- Prioritize self-care to build resilience against their negativity.
- Remember, their behavior reflects them, not you.
- Manage stress through effective coping strategies.
- Recognize when it may be time to cut off contact entirely.
Toxic behaviors may include manipulation, blame, and emotional abuse, often manifesting in critical remarks about personal matters. Identify these signs to understand when to detach. It's essential to communicate concerns calmly when safe, but establishing boundaries is crucial. While severing ties may be challenging due to familial ties, taking breaks and setting limits are necessary acts of self-preservation. Understanding these dynamics empowers you to navigate difficult relationships while maintaining your mental health and peace.
How Do You Outsmart A Toxic Person?
Dealing with toxic people can be difficult, but employing effective strategies can help maintain your emotional and mental well-being. Begin by setting and enforcing clear personal boundaries to protect yourself. Limiting interactions with toxic individuals can often prevent their negativity from affecting you. Stay calm and detached during interactions; do not let their behavior provoke a reaction. Focus on solutions and seek support from friends or family, who can act as buffers against toxicity. Always practice self-care and recognize when it’s best to walk away from an interaction entirely.
Avoid engaging in the toxic person’s drama, as many thrive on the reactions they provoke. Pay attention to how these individuals try to manipulate situations and use assertive communication to establish your limits. It is important to prioritize your own mental health and control what you can while eliminating what you cannot. By maintaining emotional intelligence, you can master difficult interactions.
Learn to recognize the signs of toxicity, speak your truth, and distance yourself when necessary. Strengthening your support system and focusing on positive influences can significantly mitigate the impact of toxic individuals in your life.
How To Deal With Family Members That Don'T Like You?
Dealing with toxic family members, such as parents or siblings, requires a strategic approach. First, identify your role in the relationship and establish clear boundaries. It's essential to maintain these boundaries to prevent fear from setting in. Recognize that their issues are not your burden to carry. If confrontation feels daunting, consider reducing contact or taking a time-out. Communication is key; when possible, engage using healthy conflict management techniques, focusing on polite exchanges while steering clear of sensitive topics.
Additionally, address disrespect by stopping attempts to change them and recognizing the importance of your own emotional space. Managing difficult relationships involves self-empowerment and may call for external support. Timing, mindfulness, and clear communication play significant roles in navigating interactions. Resist the urge to react impulsively; take time to reflect before responding. Understand that you may not receive the apology or change you desire.
Ultimately, practice empathy to understand their perspective, which can help alleviate tension. By following these guidelines, you can maintain your mental well-being while managing the complexities of toxic family dynamics effectively.
How Do Toxic Family Members Manipulate You?
Toxic family members often use manipulation and control to exert power over others, employing tactics such as guilt and fear. Common signs include emotional manipulation, such as guilt trips or the silent treatment, which can harm mental health. Families often experience a range of manipulative behaviors, causing conflict and feeling unsafe. Narcissistic triangulation is one form of manipulation where a narcissistic parent controls the family dynamic, often by isolating or manipulating members against each other.
Toxic behaviors include boundary violations, where a family member disregards limits, intrudes on privacy, or disrespects decisions. Techniques to cope with difficult family dynamics include setting clear boundaries and reducing interaction with toxic individuals. It’s essential to recognize that maintaining distance and prioritizing your well-being does not make you a bad person. Toxic behaviors can manifest as gaslighting, invalidation of feelings, and emotional abuse, leading to confusion and distress.
To deal with toxic relatives, it may be necessary to take breaks, limit communication, and practice self-care strategies like meditation and relaxation. Ultimately, recognizing and addressing these patterns is crucial for healing and reclaiming a sense of safety in family relationships. Establishing firm boundaries is key to navigating these challenging dynamics.
How To Shut Down Negative People?
Dealing with negative individuals can be challenging, but various strategies can help you maintain a positive mindset. Start by reaching out and being honest, expressing how their actions affect you kindly. If needed, walk away, giving them space to share their feelings without engaging in their negativity. It's crucial to set boundaries and model desired behaviors, taking a moment to reflect on your reactions. Equip yourself with witty comebacks like, "I'm sorry to hear that.
Did anything good come out of the situation?" which validates their feelings while redirecting the conversation. Avoid validating their negativity by changing the subject or ignoring them. Focus on building resilience and protecting your mental health from toxic influences. Engage in uplifting activities such as listening to upbeat music or comedy. Establishing relationships with positive people can counteract negativity in your environment. Ultimately, learn to shift the energy in conversations, using tools like humor and appreciation.
By applying these techniques—validating without agreeing, choosing your attitude, and guarding your time—you can effectively shield yourself from negative interactions and foster a healthier outlook on life.
📹 How to Deal with Negative People – Kevin Hart & Joe Rogan
I once asked “am I making a mistake caring what Mom thinks?” and I never got an answer. I got the usual banter of “we love you and we want you to be happy,” which didn’t answer my question. Most of the time when I ask a direct question, I get no real answer. The articles of JP here finally give me an answer of some kind and a sense of certainty.
The issue with the parent child dynamic is the manipulative nature of it all since they often remind you that questioning parents is a sign of disrespect. This baseless and emotionally fueled tactic can easily be counteracted by replying that manipulating people with the parent -family argument is the real indicator of disrespect.
People pleasers often start off as parent pleasers Being a good girl made me the most depressed person.No room for mistakes was allowed . Whenever I made a mistake i was told I have become a bad child and i have changed To me that made me a perfectionist and my biggest reget in my life was not making mistakes I was only loved through my achievements and how much other people praised me That in turn made me angry And after a long time of letting it all go,i finally realised my parents will never change and they are humans too They make mistakes too I should have understood that from the get go
When I was in university and wanted to live on campus my mom said, “Well, if you live on campus, then your aunts and uncles will say you’re a libertine for leaving home before been married”. Then when I graduated the least supportive person for me to move out of state was my mom. At this point I absolutely don’t care what anyone has to say about me if I can get a better job by moving out of state. Are you paying my bills for the rest of my life? No! My brothers did whatever they wanted. Geeze. Sometimes I hate been a woman!
Parents motivation: Guilt trip, gaslight, comparison, show off anger and firmness while lecturing about their past academic days, generation gap lectures and literally every kind of abuse in the name of motivation, toxicity and in the end gives you an indirect way to say “not good enough” And the root of all the insecurities and self doubt starts to grow or what your going through, self esteem gets destroyed eventually and you always get the feeling Why am I still not good enough? Actually you are good enough for yourself, it’s just the society which creates random insecurities literally on the younger generation Like from family to community with nonsense unrealistic stories to gain authority or toxic motivational lectures It’s society, the ugly one with toxic standards and formation, Not you, your good and alright just the way you are. All you have to do is create a wall against the society so that whatever they do, you just mind your own business without any care of what they say and live your life while creating the best version of yourself So again As I repeat be yourself while creating the best version of you . Dump society’s standards 👎 Live your life👍✊ and be real 🙋🏾♀️!
American culture fascinates me. In my culture, you are under your parents rule till the day you die because there is a hierarchy in place. My boyfriend is American and I’m shocked how he tells his mom to back off and stay out of his life. If I said that to my mom I’ll be underground lmao but I do see the mental toll it takes on me and how despite being fkn 25, not 12, I’m still treated like a child and I have a hard time making decisions I WANT because I’m always doing what will make my parents happy and keep the peace. It doesn’t help I’m the only girl in the family…
yes my parents deaths were crushing, dad when i was much younger and mother recently, both times extremely shocking, My parents were always my good friends and i could talk to them about anything and everything, neither of them ever forced us to do anything, they gave sound advice and they were very loving. It is hard for people to believe that, but it is true for me.. and i thank God every day for that..
If any parents are reading the comments – take this as a warning of how your children can grow up to resent you if you tyrannise their life. Maybe ultimately it’s not so bad to leave your parents behind like a bird leaving the nest but I still like to hope that being able to enjoy their presence at an older age is a wonderful thing that should be fought to have as much as possible. But alas if you’ve tried everything and nothing works, it really is okay to let them go honorably.
My mother doesn’t agree to my choice of spouse. Anyway I married.. But my father is not openly supporting too.. She abuses me every day.. I really care for them.. I will show them that.. They think that I am selfish that’s why I married someone they didn’t approve.. But I’ll show them that I am true person
One of the effects of when you let your parents guide is that you would never know what you truly want to do in your life, I am battling with the very same crisis. Living with parents but I have stopped talking to them and finding my purpose in life, I care for them but I never felt so relaxed and calm.
I think I knew this in my 30s but they give me the silent treatment every time I do what I decide to do. Also, there are two of them and they always back each other up no matter how ridiculous the other is being. Always. I’m single. So here I am at 51 locked in to a stand off with my parents. Usually when they gave me the silent treatment I would crack after 6 months and go back to them to ”apologise”. This time, I am just standing really certain in my own perspective, my own experience. And that offends them so much that this particular silent treatment has been going on since I was 49! So. They mean business with their silent treatments.
my parents had me at an older age.. we never had a relationship, strictly authoritarian. they never encouraged me to go to school and denied me help, and prevented me from getting any loans. they never thought i could do it, never had faith in me. now they are approaching their 70s and i’m my mid 20s and i feel like they made me the biggest loser.
I’m 20 and recently started making my own decisions by sometimes defying them. I am trying to establish a peer relationship based on mutual respect and understanding. It’s going well so far since I’m not directly telling them they’re wrong. That would sound condescending so I’m showing them that I’m capable of making sound choices.
I became a man child. I was in a path of becoming an independent adult and was going to assist them by helping pay off their home. Truly, I was depressed most of my teenage life and young adult life during university studies. It did not go well for me. I got ill. But my narcissistic parents just used my failure, my illness, and inability to get a job to continue their mental abuse but now as an adult. I have severe ADHD and am probably autistic as it was difficult for me to have friends when I was in university. I almost became a teacher at age 25 but this career did not go as planned. I am not sure what I became after this. I felt more like an adult, taller, and stronger. Now in my 30s, I felt like I retrogressed, more childish, my family relationship has been strained, I sound childish now, weaker. I have argued with my parents for years. My mother and father always lacked empathy and did not let me correct my mistakes and would always make my mistakes into greater problems. This always happened since I was a child.
I’ve lived for my parents so much. They both had cancer as I was a teen and I got into the idea they could be gone which turned out into doing studies I hated for them then getting into huge depression that turned into some kind of psychosomatic pain which is still not gone 3 years later. Then I decided to pursue what I really wanted to see if that would heal me and I partially healed but my parents don’t understand my choice. I am not available enough for them. (Once per month per parent as they are seperated) I hate my parents sometimes.
I like the tinker bell fantasy “if you do nothing, you’ll be nothing later, take a risk” article by him more. I also want to say that going to the dorms and also having my own apartment later were extremely important to be becoming independent. I learned I am a good person, and being away from my abusive mother was exactly the safe environment of a college that I needed. That being said I still rely on my mother (from a distance) for safety. I think we need people for guidance in our lives, even if it is not parents. It takes a village.
As a 36 year old mom of two who was recently diagnosed with ADHD I can see how my brain was wired to seek validation because of my own deep insecurities of not knowing myself. Growing up I’d give everything to feel like I belonged, like I was ‘normal’ this turned me into a chameleon and not really feeling like I had my own identity.. there was always this sense of turmoil that would run through my body, it made me feel frustrated with others for misunderstanding me – but that was rooted in my own lack of identity, or the echoes of a wound from feeling guilty or shameful for veering away from my own moral integrity. Under the surface it was a battle ground of lies and division.. and that inner conflict taught me empathy. Being misunderstood sucks.. especially when you don’t have a conscience understanding of who you are yet.. but it’s a great identifier that we may still be looking for who we are at some level.. is it validation we are seeking? Or is it a longing to be told who we are?
I love my parents. They’ve sacrificed a lot for me( ass I’m constantly reminded). But so have I. I have shrank from my true self my whole life to keep them satisfied. I’m gonna live on my own terms from now on. I have a feeling that’s the only way I can thrive. Then I may one day be able to pay them back. But first, I need to stand on my own.
As I grow older, started to think and realized if parents were the source of incompetence for not nurturing correctly. They wanted me to be enslaved instead of encouraging me to express and choose path and educating without biases. They’re driven by insane emotions, negative emotions. I have doubt in them. I was wrong.
This is sticky. I love my parents and want their approval. They don’t always agree with the choices I make but as long as they are living, I will try to strive to be the kind of people they are and the kind of person they raised me to be. I respect, honor and cherish my parent’s opinion. They’ve helped me make great decisions and helped me out of loads of trouble. I dread the day when I can’t ask them “daddy, what do you think?” Or “Momma, how would you do this?”
Same. Somebody says that if I get dependant from my parents and then I can control my life by myself, and If I get any help from my parents I should lend them some my life in their control in crutial parts, because they’re the only one who cares about me. Sadly, I’ve never felt happiness under my parents, and I don’t agree that they could give me the best way In my life. Their way of thinking are 30 years older than me, and ofcourse something from me is much better than my parents(ofcourse my parents are also better than me in some other parts; I respect them) but they don’t want to listen to me because that would make me out of control which will make them tired. I have been in culture where kids have to respect their parents in no reason, absolutely, and I think those cultural things makes some parents in my country that THEY are always give better choice than their kids. They don’t truly respect their kid’s point of view. When I lived only in my country I felt like I was a bad guy, but when I’ve been California for 6 months, I just realized how good person I am and how my culture and parents are so pressive to the youngsters and not respectful. These kind of thinking(of parents, ofcourse) makes their kids really hard for their life, and also makes relationship between their kids and their parents worse. Well ofcourse, they won’t change until I just move out of my house further and further…. Sadly…. So I really admire life in US, well life maybe also have hard point in there, but I’m convinced that It has better, relaxed relationship than here.
My dads side of the family always treated me terribly and as I’ve grown up, I’ve become increasingly bitter towards them. They can’t do whatever they want, not turn up to family events, put up boundaries but me and my siblings are never allowed. Whenever I speak up about it my Dad shouts and gets angry. He even makes comments like “your tongue has gotten very brave” which absolutely infuriated me. Being older does not mean it’s okay to invalidated other peoples trauma caused by his awful family. But I have come to accept, he will always put them above us. Above his own family. And for the first time, I refuse to apologise. I will not apologise when he is in the wrong.
I am terrified of telling my parents I want to pursue music. I don’t have any reason to be, actually quite the opposite. My parents have been great to my brother and I and have done nothing but want the best for me. Idk why I’m so afraid of their reaction, but I it’s holding me back from further pursuing a career in music.
JP, sir you always help me. I’ve had a traumatic experience with my family, my mom, dad left me with my uncles and aunts when I was a kid and they were ignorant and arrogant jerks. Fast forward to today when I’m trying to heal myself, my mom and dad expect me to submit my whole life to their desires just because it’s a tradition of sons acting like absolute servants to their parents. I tried many times to help them out of our conditions, but all I got was neglect, criticism and disrespect. Now I’m looking forward to the day when I’ll graduate, I’ll leave this country and never come back 🙂
I love my parents but we have had conflict ever since I was four. My parents divorced when I was four and now I have four parents. I love them all but I can’t always talk to them because I feel like what ever I say they won’t understand. I’m 18 now and I still feel they look at me like a child. I’m a senior in highschool. However I’ve never had a job because I’ve been so focused on school. Im planning on getting my drivers license this year so I think everything will turn out ok. I’ve already been expected into my university and I’m happy and proud of myself. However, when my parents tell me I don’t take care of myself I don’t understand them sometimes because I feel I do take care of myself. Im starting to drink more water, keep myself clean, cooking for myself, cleaning behind myself. Im trying to do it all and learn and figure out what is best for me.
My mom never encouraged me as a child to pursue a career In animation as a character designer and visual development artist because she depends on her friends to agree and disagree and also she tells me that I have to be a certain race to do this job and tells me you have brown skin and her friend said she never seen character designer in canada who is indian only techs
So I work at a factory. Tbh money is nice but not something I enjoy to work at. They made me work factory jobs like them. I was working at a dealership doing like oil changes and changing tires and it was little pay but I enjoyed to learn more and get into more depth of the automotive industry. They told me I had to quit because I wasn’t going anywhere with it. Right now I have full confidence on where and what I want to do. The thing is I’m afraid to even say anything to them and yet this past week my dad said “look at that salesman… he didn’t go to college and here you are just working” like I wanted to say something but I held it in
Another way to look at it: you want to befriend the things that disrupts your plan, so you can be comfortable enough to negotiate with them. If that doesn’t work, if they’re not willing to consider the prospect of you having any control, and the things keep disrupting your plans and have no regards for your pursuits, cut them off, no matter how harsh or painful that might be… I met this person who had a rocky relationship with her parents. She wanted to start her own business, but her parents wouldn’t let her, saying that the only way to become “filthy rich” is by working your ass of for someone else like the rest of us and praying you’ll win the lottery. She cut off all contact with her parents and started working het ass of. Today she runs a growing business, and she’s expected to become a millionaire within a decade. Suddenly her parents tried to contact her again while pretending they were always supported her dreams. She says that that’s not her style and she wishes for them that the lottery bills won’t bring them in soon.
My parents became wealthy 1st generation immigrants. Often they would tell me to work in the business because it’s for you. But when I tried to do anything creative, make decisions, problem solve, I was shot down. It hindered my growth and suppressed my creativity. I eventually realized my help in the business was for my parents. Right now I have 3 brothers over 30, one of those brothers is 41, working in the business off of a small stipend. They are lazy and my parents constantly complain but will never let them go either.
Yep….Parents need to understand that they are not in control. I have a 15 yo daughter…and she is completely free to make her own choices without any punishment or consequences from me. I have never told her to do anything, she does it if she wants to. Like…she hates cleaning…so I don’t make her….I clean everything! If we have a disagreement about something…we both sit down and talk about it. I never get angry or annoyed, I want to know what she has to say. And MOST times I side with her. Whatever her choice is, IF I can fulfill that choice for her, I give it to her….its not my place to make choices for her!
I am 47 years old and my parents are elderly. I have only recently realised that my mother is a narcissist and my father is an alcoholic (I’ve always known that) I went home for Christmas this year to spend some time with them. I shouldn’t have gone. It’s just cemented my feelings about the way that they treat me. Despite having cancer last year and almost dying, I am unable to get their approval. My mum is furious that I am thinner than her (I’m only thin because of the cancer) and my dad is not talking to me because I posted photos of him (and the rest of my family) on Instagram. It’s fucking ridiculous. I honestly don’t want to have a relationship with either of them anymore. Which is so sad because they are old and their time on this earth is limited. As may mine be as well. I have always been a disappointment to them and I have spent my life trying to seek their approval. I will never be good enough for them. It’s time that I stop caring.
I wish my mother was realistic. She blames me for everything, never takes my side in any situation, etc. She’s a blame thrower, she’s SUPER manipulative, and she tucks tail when you call her out. She doesn’t believe she’s wrong, EVER. I’m just going to treat her well, and ignore her ideas, because my dad thought for her for almost forty years, and now she doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t listen to anyone, and doesn’t care if anyone else is damaged by her flagrantly stupid choices
My parents divorced when I was 16. My mother is religious and seems to live in the past and isn’t very well informed, my father thinks he’s smarter than everyone because he “watches the news” everyday. When i speak to my mother she always looks at me face to face, but everything goes over her head and she doesn’t have any idea about what i say, and reply’s back with something that has nothing to do with what i just said. My father on the other hand never looks at me in the face when i speak, he just stares at the computer, cell phone, or even when those are not around he’ll just stare at something and never replies back at all except for “uhmm” and in a very bored i dont give a shit way. I really don’t want to have anymore contact with them in my life
(I’m 32) So my boyfriend asked my parents for my hand in marriage and my mom has been on this tangent for a week now. My has been thinking things over before giving his blessing. My boyfriend lives in another state but the kicker is that we’re only an hour and 40 mins away from each other you would think I’m moving to another county 😂. She doesn’t think I should move “so far away” and that I have more support here. She has this God complex like she knows everything like everything she says is “right”. It’s like she doesn’t want me adulting like I should. At first she couldn’t wait to call my boyfriend her son in law but now that the opportunity has presented itself and I’ll be moving to the state he’s in oh she’s furious lol. She keeps finding new things to come up with or a scenario to come up as to why I should stay here. 🤦🏽♀️
Every time I try to confront/have a personal and decisive discussion with my mother about something that doesn’t seem to be OK or if I’m trying to explain my point out, she keeps offending and comparing me to my father… They’re divorced, he’s mentally ill (on pills to keep in check the schizophrenic disease) and this doesn’t help me at all. I had 2 step-dads, the biological one was often marginalized but luckily I can cope with it but it’s hard sometimes… I came to the conclusion that she hates masculinity in general, which is a toxic way to handle life after all. My advice for someone in the same spot – go on your path, focus on yourself, ignore the negativity and distance yourself even more (when needed). For everyone that read this – God bless you. You’re stronger than you think
My father wants me to be a nurse practitioner, but I want to pursue a career in Fine Arts and become an animator hopefully having my own series one day. However going to nursing school is making my dad very happy. He has a plan laid out for me where I will eventually become the owner of a hospital, and meet my future husband and settle done with kids, which is something I do not want, but I do it because it makes dad proud 😒. But I have all these ideas and skill for fine arts and animation, and have worked hard on writing my series. So as of now I’m stuck and not sure what to do, I’m afraid I’ll lose the respect of my dad if I listen to my heart.
I always had to take responsibility for my mom. She’s suffering from severe depression and PTSD due to her past traumas and experiences. She never divorced my father even though he’s a bit responsible for her PTSD as well. I learned at an early age on what it meant to have “children”. I’ve done all the paperwork for my parents and had to be there when decisions were made. It’s good and it’s bad. It made me highly responsible and I can rely on myself and I know that I can ONLY rely on myself. It’s good. But it did affect my relationship with other people as well. Not gonna lie about it. But it is what it is. I’ll still take care of them bc they are my parents. Not sure if I’ll ever have children or a partner. But it is what it is. Maybe that’s my destiny.
my parents always want the next level. always a better job, always a better salary. they think more about the salary. even if i were at the top company in my country i bet then they’d push me to move abroad and work in Europe or something. i’m never enough. my current salary makes me happy. the job is not stressful and no toxic people, i have a social life, can go to events, have hobbies,weekend getaways to nature, a nice house etc. and with my fiancee bu my side. my life is good for me. but their dissatisfaction still makes me sad. i can’t help it
Children are not obligated to suffer the trauma of the parents. Children are indepent conscious smart humans. Not tools. And if parents are not willing to admit it, you have the outmost right and duty to be a monster and put boundaries so YOU can move on with your life. I know what’s like. I had to do it woth my parents. Telling them nicely for years solved nothing. They looked at me as:,, THE AUDACITY!? ” Only when I started to not give a f about their opinions and managed and succeeded by following my own path did I gain enough self confidence to fucing lash out at them as a mad wolf. Barely afterwards i could get the respect i deserved. As if I was born in a family of beasts not humans! I bet you a trilion dollars most of the crimes in the world can be traced back to dysfunctional families! Therefore most of the times, the parents should go to jail! And the state for failing us.
I am basically not interested in coaching centers as I believe in self learning with the help of online teachers who are very qualified than coaching teachers..as I don’t go to coaching my parents doubt me a lot.They think I’m not doing the right thing or going in the wrong path. They dont understand my situation. For their doubt,I started to doubt myself!! Please help
I still don’t have a life with my mother who is 78 years old and I’m60 years old. I was a good kid. I’m still a good kid because I excelled and a good person . I stoped talking to my mother today. We just had a talk and she is who she always was and I tried to think better of her. I tried to accept her behaviors and i can’t any longer. She insulted me today and thats it.
We all have our special set of talents in life, I surpassed my father in automotive repair, but not in carpentry. Now whenever I build something eg. a roof on my porch, deck for my pool, etc. he takes over the project and makes me feel like a fool. The funny thing is, he knows his shit. But dammit man, I get so furious when I’m belittled like that.
Whatever my mom advises me to do always backfires me. But I have always wanted her approval. I still do! I don’t wanna upset her. I don’t wear colours that she doesn’t like for me no matter how much I love it, I still talk to the people she likes no matter how much they’ve caused harm to me, I still go to places where she wants me to go no matter how much I hate that place. I’m 21. I know it’s not too late. But I just can’t switch my entire personality overnight. She’s selfish I know that very well. All she says is that I am a loser, and when I do something that I like she has some weird expressions on her face, she says I am making wrong choices and all, she never supported me in anything! When I was a kid she used to hit me for anything. If I mention those now, she says I’m lying and she has never hurt me. She is always emotionally unavailable for me. I always cried alone in the bathroom. I even tried to self harm when I was about 10/11. But all those stopped when I was 15 or 16. She stopped hitting me. But she started torturing me mentally. If something happens she stops talking to me for days. If I try to talk she ignores me. And she’s doing it until now. Sometimes she wonders why don’t I help her without her asking. Why don’t I take care of her! But I have not learned to do so, it doesn’t come from my heart. I am very passionate for other people. But I don’t know I can’t feel her pain. I don’t feel connected to her. Maybe that’s why I go extra miles so that I don’t end up hurting her.
I am 38 years old my parents been married for 39 years and my parents want me to be by myself…they are always in my relationship delimmas as if theirs is peaches and creams. All my exs tell me it feels like they are dating me my mother my sister and father. Amd that i will never have a relationship if my family always trying to give their 10cents to everything i do. When no one tells them what to do in their relationship.
I’m just trying my hardest man and maybe that’s not enough. I’m really trying. I don’t know how much more I can take. Is it all my fault? Am I just a terrible person and son? Maybe I am just the embarrassment of the family, the misery of the family, the reason my sibling and his girlfriend want to leave. Maybe I am just horrible, but something is screaming in me still it’s not. I fucking hate this, idk if I’m a narcissist or not and I hate my life rn. Idk how much longer I can take, this feeling feels like it’s lasted forever and I hate to play victim. I always try to see what I’m doing wrong with no motive of convenience, at least I think. Like I said, I can’t tell right from wrong anymore. But I have no friends and no one to talk to, no job or no drivers license which I’m in the process of getting but it’s taking longer than expected it. My father makes me feel like a loser, and my mother is never there for me. I have no girlfriend, no real meaningful friends who listen or are consistently there for me. My father constantly ridicules me and calls me a loser and I’m falling out with God. Someone please pray for me. I’m sick man, I just want comfort.
I NEED HELP I am 20 yrs old I spent all my life in school trying to please my family and never disappointing them I was in 2nd year university where things got financially messy at home then I couldn’t continue But you see I spent my whole life in school,I got pretty good in architecture and I can say I am pretty creative I need help,1st time in my life I got suicidal thoughts😢 and for once I am thinking of leaving my family and go leave alone They (Dad&mom)make me feel like I am the cause of this financial crisis😢😢
My parents are the most disrespectful you can ever see. They’d judge anything. They expect me to spend every single free day with them, all we do is to sit and to stare at TV. Whenever I do something else instead of seeing them for few days then they start manipulation, saying “well die and you don’t even wanna see us etc.” . I have achieved many things personally/financially. But my family makes me wanna die
My parents really want to take over my life, they push me to dump my cat like trash and dump my boyfriend because they want me to be single. My mom is really obsessed with my age and a my looks. She is telling everyone in the family that im single but im not. She is using my photos to catfish men on the internet and tell them in single eventhough im not. I’m a 31 year old woman… I’m independent but my father said that I’m always wrong and my choices in life are always wrong and he is always right.
I have great parents, but there are a few bizarre things that bother them that i can’t reason with them about. They think stories with any form of magic or percieved magic is evil. As a writer, this frustrates and upsets me. Tolkien and cs Lewis are two of the greatest writers who ever lived, they were both christian/carholic and the wrote fantasy stories with magic. Is what they’ve made now suddenly evil even though they had christain values? It makes no sense. My stories will have a magic system, and I’m kind of grieving over the fact they won’t be very encouraging once they start reading what I’m making. I keep explaining to them that magic is just a writing tool, but all they can say in response is “evil is evil” and say that “God will reveal this to you in time” which is some of the most demeaning shit they’ve ever said to me. They’re normally people i can reason with, but this is such a weird argument that has no ground to it and they refuse to listen.
Mines went rogue when i dyed my hair and got even more mad when i talked back saying how irrelevant it was :/ My psychologist didn’t even care ’bout it, and everyone i know was cheering me on except for them. I think (this is kinda dark) that they’re mad I’m not blonde anymore because they considered it a superior colour… Anyways, tried using common sense but doesn’t work. Any ideas?
I feel so horrible about myself 😢 my parents say “YOU can not be a football player ” my parents said this to me “YOUR BROTHER WILL BE A LAWYER YOUR LITTLE SIS WILL BE JUDGE I WILL GIVE YOUR SIBLING ALOT OF MONEY I WILL GIVE THEM MY PROPERTYS,ANS ILL GIVE YOU a field “PLAY YOUR STUPID FOOTBALL THERE I am a stupid unsuccessful dork 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
How about this dynamic… I’m in a situation where my mom is telling me that… the devil, will try to get me, to not talk to somebody (I think of how I have trust issues right now… And I shifted the way I talk to my parents, and others, even potential friends). And I’m feeling that my mom wants to protect me. It’s not her fault right? That’s the job of a mother, I don’t know where her heart is but am I meant to know where her heart is?
I live with my two brothers, away from my both parents in another country, my dad is very toxic and he failed in everything basically, he never had a job, he never provided any type of anything except being a narcissist and violent, he never put any thing in the right position basically if any of my siblings had trouble or just had a fight he would responds aggressively and make it worse we never asked him to do anything for us because we know the tragedy the trauma that we going to deal with after that . My mother is the one who chose this life, I’m telling you she had a choice of divorce, but she refused, she kept living with this abusing man, once this summer he pulled out a knife and tried to kill me in front of her and she never do anything! It was Avery simple basic issue that I had between me and my toxic brother, I know my story kinda not that clear, it’s because I have so much things that I want share but it would take me along time. My brothers that I’m living with are mean toxic type, they know that my mom always by their side and know pretty will she don’t see their faults even if they’re pretty bad and horrible, because they’re men ! She would say it with her words “you’re a girl and you have to be patient over you male brothers because they’re men, and this how men act(by abusing) and women are stronger and smarter, god made women to clean after men because they’re don’t know how to do it” and so on, basically she is trying to control me and change me into her! She always tell me how to love and act like a girl and treat men, meanwhile she married my dad, the question Is how to protect myself and my confidence from her and toxic family, I don’t wanna end up like her, or even close?
The more older we get i came to the realisation that yes respect your parents but dont let them control you in such a way that you relaise later that youcouldve lived your life at the same time learn what they shouldve taught us was to be able to ask them whats wrong n right and also give us freedom in such a way that we dont fuck up ourselves but now its like a religion thing n society too binding us so i understand now y americans let their child leave the house .
When I Was Younger I Was Always Taught to Put Family 1st,I Was Never Taught That It’d Come at a Such a Hefty Price,I Love my Family Always Will,But my Mental,&,Emotional Health Suck Now Because I’ve Always Done my Best to Put Them 1st,&,to Always Make Them Happy,I Have 0 Independence,I Hate Myself so Fucking Much
Are there any articles that will make my friend heal from waking up to and physically stopping his stepdad from smothering his mother with a pillow? Asking for a friend. Should he go and bash his now old man stepdad or should he just get drunk mid morning and watch youtube articles? My friend this is for.
I made the decision to pull the plug on my dad because it was the right thing yo do. I also cared about the way he thought about me more then the person taking my coffee order. Hes a member of my family. I care for him and about him. Part of that is seeing myself through his eyes. Caring how he views me doesn’t control me. I still make moves. If I think he’s disappointed in a move I look at it and think. If I still thinks it’s the right decision I make it. I respect him and his opinion.
my parents ruined my entire life, they made me fat when i was a kid, ever since i was 12 years old i am trying to loose weight by myself i loose it and gain it back again and again and again, now i am having existential crisis with all the voices in the head, now they are calling me mental, psycho . i wish i was not born to my pos parents .
You need a better argument about why do you care what your parents think of you. We call care what people who know us, think about us. Sure, a stranger living 1000 miles away that I have never met can think whatever he wants, I won’t care. But people close to you matter. And for good reason that you know.
You must be loving, caring, and respectful to your parents, seek their counsel, and when they ask you for something, rush to do it. This is what Islam teaches me. As far as opinions go, especially those concerned with one’s affairs, none of them should stop one from pursuing a noble cause. There is no harm, I think, to do one’s own bidding regardless of parental opinion, taken that one behaves with the utmost love and respect.
You know what’s really bad is when the parents are out of control with their kids and then the kids bring their business to school like they tell all their parents’ business about what’s going on in at home now you got the school in your business cuz you are out of control at home and in school you the kids bad parent Hood
I love my parents dearly and want nothing but the best for them ❤ BUT…………… I feel like I’m always pretending to be what they want me to be instead of who I really am. They don’t approve or like the real me so I give them what they want. And I have major resentment towards them because of it! I hide it from them and it’s building 🤯 💥 I try and be the bigger person but it’s killing me 😞
If you don’t, the child won’t grow up. What’s worse is that the social economic structure is blocking this realistically. What’s even worse is a country where society is a family-oriented emotional authoritarian hierarchy. Terrible In such a country, there are many bad habits, unresolved, and there are strong elements of collectivism, and traditions of sacrifice and injustice and authoritarianism or emotion prevail over human rights, equality or justice, individuality or rationalism. As a result, the system focuses more on tradition than innovation. No one can grow up to be over 10 years old, not only children, but also powerful adults act like children with power, and adults without power act like status quo losers who obey the maintenance of the system. Their mistakes self for an adult with a fake responsibility without courage on his back. Whether it’s a child’s emotion or an adult’s emotion, it’s important to be yourself and to be healthy and grow your frontal lobe.
Subject: Parents tears 😢 with children 1. Childrens in the past years had good feelings, good thinking, good habits good attitudes and were in the path of good character. 2. Childrens of today are totally different from the above except very few. Today’s children totally disobey their parents, they even have no good attitudes or feelings or habits to practice. They simply live as they want. 3. Showing respect to their parents happened in the past, but it’s not happening in today’s world. Its almost a regretful matter to think of. Children of today are paining their parents and making them to fall into a mental illness. These things are widely happening in today’s world. 4. Respecting the parents happened in the past. Respecting the parents doesn’t happening now. Respecting the parents will never be happening in the future to come. 5. The word ‘RESPECT’ is getting erased little by little and this word will totally get vanished in the hereafter. By: Dawood ✍ Written on: 10.02.2022
I respectfully disagree. My thinking is that my parents chose to put financial stability on the line so that I could succeed. In a way they are investors or shareholders in me. Every good business owner will say that one role of the business is to appease the shareholders and make money for them and the business. Shareholders do not always know what is important for the business though. Therefore you should listen to your parents in all matters, but be willing to discuss and explain every disagreement. If you are middle class, think of how much they put into you. They lost social freedoms, and likely up to a quarter-million dollars in today’s money BEFORE COLLEGE. Think of that in yearly costs and take it into proportion to their yearly earnings over the years of raising you. They would have had starter position earnings most likely. If you disrespect your parents with this in mind, I truly hope the shame of this knowledge weighs on you your entire life.