The first season of the American sitcom, Extended Family, has been canceled by NBC after one season. The cancellation comes after the network handed third seasons to Night Court and Lopez vs. Lopez, and gave Happy’s Place a second season. The comedy, loosely based on the real lives of co-executive producers George Geyer, Emilia Fazzalari, and Boston Celtics owner Wyc Grousbeck, premiered on NBC on December 23, 2023.
Extended Family is a multi-cam comedy centered around the shifting family dynamics following a good-natured divorce. The show premieres on December 23 at 8/7c on NBC, with new weekly episodes returning on January 2nd at 8:30/7:30c on NBC. All episodes will be available on Peacock.
The show was created by Mike O’Malley and stars Jon Cryer, Donald Faison, Abigail Spencer, and Sofia Capanna. It premiered on December 23 at 8 p. m. ET/PT, then returns on January 2nd at 8:30 p. m. ET/PT in its regular timeslot on NBC. Episodes stream the next day on Peacock.
Night Court and Extended Family will continue to air back-to-back on Tuesdays in 2024. NBC has opted not to extend its time with Extended Family, cancelling the Jon Cryer comedy after a single season. The 13-episode freshman run averaged 3. 2 million total viewers and a 0. 4 demo rating (with Live+7 playback).
Extended Family will produce a total of 13 episodes to air in midseason. The show premiered on December 23, 2023, and will continue to air back-to-back on Tuesdays in 2024.
| Article | Description | Site |
|---|---|---|
| ‘Extended Family’ Canceled After One Season At NBC | Mike O’Malley’s Extended Family is no longer. The comedy has been canceled by NBC after one season. It comes after the network handed third seasons to Night … | deadline.com |
| Extended Family (TV series) | Extended Family is an American television sitcom created by Mike O’Malley that premiered on NBC on December 23, 2023, and concluded on March 26, 2024. | en.wikipedia.org |
| Will There Be a Season 2 of Extended Family? | The first season of Extended Family airs new episodes Tuesdays at 8:30/7:30c on NBC and next day on Peacock. | nbc.com |
📹 What happens to the scapegoat in adulthood?
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE …
Is Extended Family Done?
Extended Family, created by Mike O'Malley, is an American sitcom that aired on NBC from December 23, 2023, to March 26, 2024. The show followed Jim (Jon Cryer) and Julia (Abigail Spencer) as they navigated co-parenting after an amicable divorce, highlighting the humorous aspects of their shifting family dynamics. Despite its engaging premise and a total of 13 episodes in its first season, Extended Family has been canceled after just one season, averaging 3. 2 million viewers.
The series was a multi-camera sitcom that aimed to normalize healthy post-divorce relationships, yet it struggled with casting and performance quality, leading to critiques of its execution. Although the creators expressed interest in a potential second season, NBC ultimately decided against renewing the show, which sparked disappointment among fans.
With no official plans for Season 2, Jon Cryer and O'Malley discussed their hopes for the show's future and additional concepts that could have been explored. Unfortunately, Extended Family left the air without a continuation, marking it as a short-lived television effort amidst the landscape of ongoing sitcoms. All episodes are available for streaming on Peacock.
Is Extended Family Coming Back This Fall?
NBC has canceled the Jon Cryer-led sitcom Extended Family after just one season. The show, created by Mike O'Malley, premiered on December 23, 2023, and concluded on March 26, 2024, with a total of 13 episodes. During its freshman run, it averaged 3. 2 million viewers and received a 0. 4 demo rating in Live+7 playback. Despite hopes for renewal, NBC has decided not to extend its time with the comedy, which struggled to gain traction compared to other shows that were renewed, such as Night Court and Lopez vs.
Lopez. Although there has been no official word on a second season, discussions regarding its potential direction had taken place with Cryer and O'Malley prior to the cancellation. The show explored family dynamics following a good-natured divorce, featuring a cast that included Donald Faison and Abigail Spencer. The decision not to renew Extended Family marks it as the first NBC freshman comedy to be canceled in its first season, leading to speculation about the future of similar projects.
As of December 2023, there has been no announcement regarding a Season 2, leaving fans wondering about the fate of the series. The television community continues to monitor the latest updates on cancellations and renewals.
Is Extended Family Renewed?
As of May 2024, NBC has officially canceled the comedy series "Extended Family" after just one season, comprising 13 episodes. Despite a dedicated fan base, it will not return for a second season. The show, initially led by Jon Cryer, underwent significant behind-the-scenes changes prior to its premiere, which altered the character he portrayed. Discussions between Cryer and creator Mike O'Malley regarding the show's future hinted at potential storylines for a second season, but hopes were dashed when NBC chose not to renew it.
The show's average ratings were notably low, falling short of NBC's scripted programming benchmarks, contributing to its cancellation. While other NBC shows like "Lopez vs. Lopez" received extensions for additional seasons, "Extended Family" was not granted the same opportunity. The cancellation marks a disappointing close to a series that had aimed to carve its niche in the network’s lineup but ultimately succumbed to competitive pressures and insufficient viewership.
Fans now face uncertainty regarding the possibility of revival in the future. For updates on network renewals and cancellations, viewers are encouraged to keep an eye on NBC's official announcements.
Did Extended Family Get Picked Up For Season 2?
NBC has officially canceled the comedy series "Extended Family," starring Jon Cryer, after just one season. The show, which aired a total of 13 episodes, garnered an average of 3. 2 million viewers and a 0. 4 rating in the key demo (including Live+7 playback). Despite the creators, including Mike O'Malley, expressing hopes for a second season, the network decided to discontinue the series, especially after recently renewing other shows like "Night Court." There has been no official announcement regarding a second season, and the show is now confirmed to be among the list of canceled programs.
Production of its initial season was interrupted by the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike, complicating the show's trajectory. While the series was launched on September 29, 2022, fans are left disappointed with the news of its cancellation. Though the first season’s conclusion suggested potential for more episodes or new plots, the likelihood of revival seems slim as of now. Currently, there are no plans or greenlights for Season 2, and viewers are encouraged to stay updated on any future developments regarding the show.
How Many Episodes Are In Extended Family?
"Extended Family," a sitcom by Mike O'Malley, ended its first season on March 26, 2024, after airing 13 episodes. The show revolves around Jim (Jon Cryer) and Julia (Abigail Spencer), maintaining a close friendship post-divorce while co-parenting their children in their family home. The series, which debuted on NBC on December 23, 2023, is inspired by the real-life experiences of its co-executive producers.
It was initially picked up for a series order on September 29, 2022, but production faced interruptions due to the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike, completing six episodes beforehand and being among the first to resume after the strike.
Throughout the season, comedic scenarios arise as they navigate co-parenting challenges, including balancing their children’s events on the same day and Jim's attempts at impressing new women. Despite the heartfelt and humorous moments, "Extended Family" was canceled in May 2024 after just one season. Viewers can watch all episodes on platforms including Peacock and fuboTV. With its unique premise, the show explored the dynamics of amicable divorce and family bonds, appealing to viewers interested in comedic relationships and family life.
Is NBC Canceling Extended Family After One Season?
NBC has officially canceled Mike O'Malley's comedy series, Extended Family, after just one season. The series, featuring Jon Cryer and Donald Faison, premiered in the fall and concluded its 13-episode run in March 2024, averaging 3. 2 million viewers. Despite its potential, the show failed to secure a renewal, joining the list of multiple NBC cancellations this year, which also includes other series like Quantum Leap. The network recently announced third seasons for Night Court and Lopez vs.
Lopez while also granting a series order to Happy's Place, the comedy starring Reba McEntire. Unfortunately, Extended Family will not be returning for a second season, disappointing its viewers and fans. The decision aligns with the trend NBC has shown in recent months, as the network seems to be focusing on fresher content, resulting in several freshman comedies being cut from their lineup. Although some fans are left hoping for a revival someday, the show's cancellation indicates a significant shift in NBC's programming strategy.
Overall, the cancellation signifies the end of what was hoped to be a promising series within the network's transitional landscape of comedy shows. Fans of Mike O'Malley and the cast may feel let down, but the future remains uncertain for the show's legacy.
Why Did Extended Family Get Cancelled?
Extended Family, a sitcom created by Mike O'Malley, has been cancelled by NBC after its first season, which aired a total of 13 episodes. The series, which followed Jim (played by Jon Cryer) and Julia managing co-parenting after a divorce, struggled with modest viewership, averaging only 2. 576 million viewers and a 0. 28 demo rating. Despite enjoying slightly higher ratings compared to the renewed shows Night Court and Lopez vs. Lopez, Extended Family was unable to secure a second season. Its cancellation comes amid NBC’s 2024 cuts, which include several other series.
The show premiered in December 2023 but faced production disruptions due to the writers' and actors' strikes, only managing to air six episodes prior to the final cancellation. Extended Family received a lukewarm reception, reflected in its low IMDB score of 5. While there are currently no plans for a revival, fans are left wondering if the series might return in the future. Overall, NBC has decided not to continue with the sitcom, determining it wasn't enough of a success to warrant renewal.
What Shows Got Cancelled In 2024?
In 2024, numerous TV shows across various networks and streaming platforms have faced cancellation, affecting fan-favorites like "Pretty Little Liars," "American Born Chinese," and "Our Flag Means Death." Key cancellations include prominent titles such as "Station 19" (ABC), "Halo" (Paramount+), "The Handmaid's Tale" (Hulu), and others like "Bel-Air" (Peacock) and "Hacks" (Max, which was renewed for Season 4).
Networks like AMC, Netflix, and Max have contributed to this wave of terminations with shows including "Orphan Black: Echoes," "Schmigadoon!," and "Blue Bloods." As the year progresses, decisions regarding renewals continue to be announced, with shows like "Minx" and "Slow Horses" confirmed for new seasons. This comprehensive list of cancellations and renewals highlights the volatile nature of television programming in 2024, leaving fans to wonder which shows will be axed next.
Will There Be A Second Season Of Extended Family?
Sad news for fans of "Extended Family": the NBC sitcom has been officially canceled after one season, with no plans for a second season revealed. The show, created by Mike O'Malley and featuring Jon Cryer, aired its first season finale after 13 episodes, but it will not be renewed. Conversations between NBC Insider and the show's stars hinted at potential ideas for a new season, but ultimately, the series has ended. The first season's reception will be assessed by NBC, and the future of the show remains uncertain.
Despite the hopes for a revival, it seems unlikely at this time, especially since this cancellation marks NBC’s first denial of a second season for a new comedy since 2020’s "Connecting." Though no official announcements have been made regarding a second season, fans are encouraged to stay tuned for any updates. In light of these developments, "Extended Family" will not be returning, leaving fans to wonder about the potential storylines that could have unfolded in Season 2.
📹 When Your Meet Your Gals Extended Family 😳
When Your Meet Your Gals Extended Family @Omega_Reacts – to the Internets Greatest Vids In The Video: IG//inbodyamy.
The scapegoat child eventually becomes aware that they have been victimised in their family. They may then notice how this attracted other predatory personalities to them. They may become aware that the root of all of this is because they were taught to have no boundaries in childhood. At this point the scapegoat child may now realise that they need to develop strong boundaries. They need to not be afraid to say “no”. They may realise that being alone is better than being disrespected.
My wife was the scapegoat in her family. She’s an amazing mom, wife, best friend. She’s loving, fiercely loyal to our son and I. She runs a very successful small business and her work ethic is out of this world. Having been around her toxic family and seeing first hand just how sick and twisted the family dynamic is, you couldn’t ask for a better human being. I can’t even begin to tell you guys how proud I am of her.
I remembered at the age of 20 I went to my boyfriend’s parents home. I felt that his mom had some reservations about me but he insisted that I spend time w/ his family. I was nervous. His mom asked me help in the kitchen for either dinner or lunch. I remembered turning to put a gallon of milk on the counter but missed and made a spill on the floor. I started shaking and tearing up. I thought that she would scold like my mom. His mom just looked straight at me and said sweetly it was just milk. Nothing to be worried about. At that moment, I realized that I was traumatized by my mother and needed help. His mother became the mom I dreamed about that day. She just knew what I needed without asking. She saved my life.
I have been the scapegoat for decades and then my siblings started to teach their children to scapegoat me too. I walked away from that toxic family unit and went no contact…and have since had the ability to embrace my authentic self because I walked away. I am surrounding myself with beautiful friends who are the family I never had. I live a peaceful and loving life now-walking away was the best thing I could have ever done.
I’ve gone no contact with my Dad since June 2023 and it’s been the best thing I’ve done for myself. I was the one getting picked on by him growing up and he was an enabler of abuse by my elder brother, physically assaulting me. All because I chose a different life and the pursuit of entrepreneurship in a family of academics. Growing up was hell because I supported my mum after their divorce when I was 8. A lot to unpack but I’m grateful I made that decision. My goal is to be a better parent than he ever was
I was so confused because my family hated me. I was a horrible person in their eyes but everyone outside of our family loved me. Told me how nice, smart, and joyous it was to be my friend. Then I go home and I’m called crazy, depressed, shit starter. In constant trouble for things I did not do or say, argumentative. I would have panic and anxiety attacks. As soon as I went to school, or somewhere they were not everyone loves me.
My trauma psychiatrist wanted to meet my Mom. He brought her into 3 sessions and saw first hand how she had no empathy or compassion and was a bully. My Dr told me to go no contact with her. He was the first person to ever validate me and what I went through in my life. He schooled my narc mother and it was life changing. It’s been 8 years this month of no contact with my mother. She has done a smear campaign on me to my family and friends and has gotten worse as she ages. Being a scapegoat even in my 50’s is difficult, lonely and sad. You never feel worthy of love or acceptance. Thank you for all your articles Dr R
When the scapegoat grows up—watch out!! The entire family will fall apart. Our role as scapegoat, is keeping the peace and holding the dysfunctional family together, however once we have said enough, the whole house of cards falls down…in my experience it did when I walked away—BEST DECISION EVER!!!
I am the scapegoat…. My wife pulled me out of this ‘family’ she saved me from a personal hell. She told me recently “I met you, saw that despite your raising you chose to be an amazing man regardless. I decided you were mine…no matter what it took.” They tore me down for years, I tried. I was four when my bio mom died, the narcissist came to us a year later. I am 44 and now I am beginning to see what my wife sees. My clients, my friends…. They all tell me what a joy I can be to work with or be around. My work is exceptional because I love what I do…. I found my joy again.
Yes, I was the scapegoat and bastard in my family. I had things done to me that was truly horrendous. I have been in therapy since I was 22 yrs. I am now 73 yrs old. I got blamed for everything, even my brothers and sister. I never had a drug or alcohol use. I cannot be with a man. I am a well educated woman and a good professional career. My parents turned my siblings against me telling them I was a liar and crazy. I left at 17, and never looked back.
I was the scapegoat child and truth teller. I started therapy while trying to escape a sociopath. I have gone no contact with my family of origin several years which has been the most liberating for me. I’m no contact with my ex as well. This enabled me to work on myself and keep my circle narcissist free. I wish peace for all the scapegoated children out there. Thank you Dr Ramani.
I am blown away how you have just explained all 72 years of my life. My mother was the narcissist and I, as the first born daughter, was the scapegoat. My sister two years younger was the golden child. My life would have been very different if I knew all this earlier. I have always been sensitive and an empath. I’m really a good person and I knew that, even though I was being told the opposite. I broke away at age eighteen to live with my father three thousand miles away. I blossomed! I wasn’t being told how stupid and ugly I was. My new family adored me. I went to school, got a job in the beauty industry and I even did some modeling. On visits to see my mother I told her all this but she still made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. (“You’re too thin. Don’t think you can always use your looks to make money.” Blah blah) unfortunately, I met a narcissistic boyfriend who did to me the same things my mom did. I used alcohol to cope. I lost jobs, went to therapy that didn’t help, and made a mess of my life. Long story short, I moved back to the Midwest to get away from that guy and because of the high cost of living in California. I found my way though. Got a job, met a guy, and got married. (He wasn’t good enough for me according to my mom.) That was when I was 34. We have been married nearly 39 years. Happily! How did I do that!? I was very determined. I had an innate faith in myself. Sorry I went on so long. Plus there was a lot more to the family dynamic that there is no room here to get into.
I was the scapegoat and truth teller in my family. I went no contact last year which probably saved my life in more ways than one. My only regret- I wish I went no contact sooner. I spent much of my adulthood depressed and chronically ill while dealing with family narc abuse. But I am blessed to say, I’m now free of them.
At 59, I no longer “want” my mom to understand what she’s done and continues to do to me. I no longer “want” her to admit her bad behavior, judgment, attitude towards me, I no longer “want” an apology. I am beyond and over all “those wants”. Now, I “only want” it to stop – in whatever way that manifests itself. I’m done caring if she ever realizes that she’s an abusive, enabled Narc.
“Walking every day on eggshells” resonated deeply. I’ve been trying to pinpoint where I hold stress in my body. I think it may be in my entire muscle system. Like a rabbit that senses the predator, the stillness I experienced, the stillness that alerted me that it was time to walk on eggshells because mommy and/or daddy were on the edge and about to lose it. I believed as a child, ‘one false move on my part will set them off. My childhood was exhausting.
I knew I was the Scapegoat in childhood. What I did not understand was this extended into adulthood and the siblings are used as proxy abusers. I didnt realize that the lying and smear campaign had gone on for decades. I woke up to it after a family mobbing that included violence. I cut them all out over 2 years ago and shocked the hell out of them. Learning about this dynamic has helped me realize it was them and not me. I give them a gift. I handed back all that bs to them to keep. I am no longer the receptacle for their garbage.
My older sister was the scapegoat in the family. I was the lost child. Recently I spoke up in her defense about something and must’ve rocked the boat, I became the target of an attempted smear campaign. I think this was retaliation for going to bat for her, and since she limits her contact with several siblings, they needed a new target! I am beginning to understand how painful it must have been for her throughout the years!
As a scapegoated child I still feel uncomfortable recieving gifts, love, or help from other people since I’m not used to it. Romantic movies make me really uncomfortable because I never really had a feeling of unconditional love. I have repeated the same patterns of making friends with narcissistic people and dating narcissistic people some of them abused me as well. I’m trying to stop the patterns and look for ways to set boundaries and cope better. I’m moving away from my NMom this winter so hopefully the distance helps our relationship.
This scapegoat grew up, got away and established her own life, with her own family, 800 miles away. A major reason for my happiness over the past 25 years is that I have a strong appreciation and gratitude for the quiet life and wonderful people I now have in it. Compared to the horrible childhood and adolescence I was ‘gifted’ with from my family of origin, I can now truly enjoy everything I have.
I was the scapegoat and the helper until I was 27 and cut the contact to the narcissist parent, which was the only parent. This article, like many of the articles on here, is like hearing my life story told by a doctor whom I don’t know. Sometimes isn’t very triggering, and sometimes I feel very lucky that I found this website. I was manipulated by the time I was born and it took a huge step…to turn my back on everything I learned growing up…and give the therapist a chance. Hear them out and trying to review the things they told me. And it was like a puzzle with 5000pieces…falling into place all at once. It was so intense. I am so very lucky I survived my childhood. I was being traumatised in many ways, not only by the day to day drama. There were many things happening that should have put my parent behind bars. But they kept isolating me and my siblings so much. And by the time we were 12, we were so used to not being allowed to tell anyone anything. We wouldn’t speak at all. I didn’t know how to make friends, and still don’t. I have not one friend, that invests as much love and energy in the friendship, as I do. No matter how bad I am doing, I am reaching out to people every day. But they do not answer more than twice a week or so. I often think, I must be too much for them. I don’t know. I cut contact to my twin sibling, and one cut the contact with me. It’s been 3 years and I don’t know why. But it must have to do with my twin. Who is a narcissist as well, as I found out 2 years ago.
I stood up to my sister and let her know that I wasn’t going to put up with her manipulation. She immediately started gaslighting me and telling me I ruined the holiday for for family (like always). If I stay, I deal with disrespect. If I stick up for myself, im blamed for everything that happens. It’s been like this forever. I’m an adult now. I don’t have to put up with this.
Its very surreal, traumatic, and life-altering to go from a viewpoint of “I cause all the problems in my family because I’m just so faulty and awful.” to “My family cannot handle their own emotions so they have selected me to bear the brunt.” I wish everyone here the best wishes on their journey. We’re in this together, and in that sense we’re not alone.
The scapegoat spent years in awful relationships and seemed to consistently attract narcissistic people into their lives, the scapegoat was so desperate for love she accepted all the mistreatment. The scapegoat goat had regular complete breakdowns but never knew what they were . The scapegoat then became pregnant and was abandoned by the father as like everyone he was just abusing her. The scapegoat had to move back home to her abusers and was once again playing the role . Something changed inside the scapegoat after giving birth to her baby, she realised the huge unconditional love she had inside for her beautiful boy and old memories feelings and trauma began to resurface but this time she knew exactly what it was, abuse. She recognised she had been abused and used and projected on by a narcissistic mother and sexually abusive father . Through her son she saw love and what parenthood was supposed to be, so, she got help . She began therapy, the hell of therapy and the beauty of therapy at times was too much but she stuck with it. She began to realise how beautiful she was inside how robbed she had been as a child and how obliterated she had been throughout most of her life . She cut ties completely with the family of origin and was tarnished by them and called crazy evil psycho and mentally ill, the names and the attack on her even as a mother was tough to bare but she kept going forwards she was unstoppable. Her baby is a young adult now and a well rounded kind honest young man, the scapegoat?
My twin sister not only had a meltdown and criticized and attacked my life, she also started ripping on my then 5 year old. And that was when I went no contact. She is the golden child, I was the scapegoat. The Black Sheep. And you’re right about breaking cycles. I don’t want to put my kid through what I went through.
I’m also a scapegoat. It’s taken me 40 years to start to shake off believing I’m a bad person. It’s been hard to accept that the feelings of anger and frustration toward my mother for total emotional neglect and constant invalidation don’t mean I’m bad, it means I’m human and still feel fully. There are many downsides of social media but access to content like this is one of the absolute bright spots- life changing! Thank you.
watching this, for me it was difficult not to cry. A family therapist when I was a kid, actually made my mom brother & sister leave the room so she could give me the breakdown of what was happening & why – that I was not to blame for the dynamics in my family & that my relatives may never stop doing this & I had to find ways to cope with that in order to adapt & flourish in life. She was right. Even decades later. That feeling that I was “the family joke” never left me.
“They often go on to be tremendous parents” The tears just started pouring. I’m so terrified of becoming my father. But I have the insight that he doesn’t. And I have compassion and understanding and I’m deeply loving of everyone. I want to be a parent, and I am starting to have more faith that I can be a good one. ❤
I can tell you what happened to this Scapegoat, myself, after I was kicked out of the house at 18: I joined the US Army, travelled to Germany, got accepted into the ROTC program to become an Army Officer, got a degree in Computer Science all on my own dime – parents helped me not at any point at all. Now I own my own very nice home, have children who are going to college, have a good career in the IT field, and am very happy! My parents thought I would be a loser but I proved them very wrong. I interact with my family on my own terms and none of them dare treat me as a scapegoat these days!
My son recently asked me why my sister was so mean to me. I tried to explain to him the fact that I was my narcissistic mother’s scapegoat in the family. I told him that she recruited my sisters to join in the abuse and they happily complied. I’m not sure if he understood what I was telling him, but it made me feel seen when he mentioned that my sister was abusive to me.
I am an adult scapegoat from an indian family, where the sons are born as Gods and my awareness since childhood, being the blacksheep empath, has helped me to become the survivor and the warrior; having suffered domestic violence (GBV) from my father, constantly protecting my mother, I don’t take any BS from anyone including my own family now. It’s taken a while to get there and I am now in my fifties, living by my own terms and only see my family when I want to. Healthy boundaries are one of the most important factors I congratulate myself for, best move I ever made.
“I really, really hope for scapegoats to recognise that they have always been more than enough, and that the constant manipulations of childhood were the projections of a psychologically stunted parent, who projected their own inadequacies and insecurities onto their children”. THIS ❤. It should go on a T-shirt.
This is my 1st time listening to your article! WOW!!!! You hit the Nail on the Head! I never knew I was the Scapegoat of the Family, until this last year when I started to Search why I felt so different and unwanted by my Family. I started searching what Narcissistic Behavior was and was SHOCKED to hear that was my Upbring! I got Blamed for EVERYTHING when things went wrong and even as a Adult, I still get blamed!! 😢. I have suffered ALL my Life with Mental Illness (Major Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, Bipolar and Schizophrenia). I always thought why am I ALWAYS being Abused (Emotional Mental Spiritual Physical). Doing this Soul Searching, is helping me come to Terms of my Past that I was Neglected and Abandoned by the People who were supposed to take care of me. It’s only been a few months, but I’ve made the Decision to “Walk Away”. It’s not like the Family has made any effort to make Contact with me to bring Healing. So I need to find Healing on my own with doing the Hard Work and just being the Best Person I can be! Just recently, a Neighbor agreed to be my Adoptive Mom and Boy did it ever feel good to be “Wanted”. I feel like I’m making some positive steps and discovering “Who I really am”? It helps to have a good Cheerleading Community who see the Potential in me and my AWESOME Husband who always tells me how much I’m Loved!!! I CAN do this!! I WILL BREAK FREE and be a Blessing to Others! 🙏
As a former scapegoat, i can attest to this: it is imperative for scapegoats to cut their family of origin off- because what happens is when you become an adult and have kids, your “family” will use YOUR kids now as the fresh supply for their toxic abuse! Narcissist dont change over time, holding onto hope that one day theyll see how much you mean to them, aint gona happen! They actually get worse over time 😢. So please do the inner work, and use those gifts you acquired to help heal others ❤
I was a scapegoat, and I’m also autistic (diagnosed very recently at 59), so I used to stand up to my parents as my brutally honest self, and call out the injustices that proliferated. My siblings tell me now how they all used to cringe whenever I did so. At almost 60, I’m still trying to unravel the complicated mess of my childhood.
“The punching bag” I remember saying that to myself as a child and I isolated myself to avoid the family dynamic. Described as a free spirit because I did not want to conform to the role given to me. Now 18 months into therapy due to the last abuse marriage now ended and seeing a much different future for myself. I am now “demanding” for people to treat me respectfully
Something I’ve noticed and personally experienced is that scapegoats often find each other and form lasting friendships and partnerships. There is a deep compassion and understanding; you were both in the trenches, just in different parts of the world. My husband, like me, is the scapegoat in his family and our bond not only keeps the toxic BS out of our lives but also means we’re no longer suffering alone. There is true power when scapegoats and black sheep (I still can’t tell the difference?) join forces.
When people ask me what I want, I always say, “That’s like asking a blind person which crayon they want to use.” I was not allowed to have wants. That was selfish. If I was accused of anything, my silence was admission of guilt, but defending myself was also proof of guilt. I was told that if my friends and their families had to spend as much time with me as my family did, they’d hate me too. I was married to a narc for 20 years. Now, I live with a cat. Safer that way. I would dearly love to stop hearing the old tapes in my head, especially since some of them are dead and gone.
My therapist has told me several times that the empathy, warmth, respect and understanding I bring into relationships is a precious gift but also one I need to learn to give to myself too. And I’ve also cut ties with my family quickly when I realized how harmful they were. I’ve tried to communicate and talk about it with them but they’ve been nothing but cold and abusive. I don’t owe them anything and I’m happy to have a therapist who’s been working with me on my strength and worth to go and stay no contact. Even though they don’t respect it and contact me every now and then, it’s been the years without them in which healing started for me.
I never really knew how dysfunctional my family was until I started doing home visits for my hospice patients. I was able to see loving and healthy families and other dysfunctional families. perusal other families function at a very difficult time in their lives really helped me to see how families could be a good thing. I stopped talking to my birth family 15 years ago and it was a good decision for me. My mom passed 8 years ago, then my dad passed and my sister passed 4 years ago. I didn’t grieve for them at the time of their deaths because I had already grieved for them 15 years ago. Hospice was a blessing for me because I could wholeheartedly advocate and serve my patients and their families. Death is scary but it kind of makes most people focus on the important stuff and let the BS stuff go