When Relatives Come And Go?

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When it comes to family visits, longer visits may not always be better. To improve the experience, get space, take breaks when needed, and avoid bringing up divisive political subjects or comments on your relationship. Hanging out with family can be physically and emotionally draining, so it’s important to own your decision to visit family members or invite them to your house.

It’s common for Childhood PTSD-types to face holidays with a sense of dread, as implicit memories can make it possible to experience even a seemingly smooth or pleasant visit home while unconsciously reconnecting to feelings, thoughts, attitudes, and emotions. To avoid this, follow these house guest etiquette rules:

  1. Be clear about the duration of your stay with your hosts. If they don’t want to do that, they can wait until we are ready for overnight guests. If they don’t want to do that, they can just leave.
  2. Make sure you clear the duration of your stay with your hosts as short, reasonable visits. If they don’t want to do that, they can wait until we are ready for overnight guests
  3. Stay current on federal, state, and local safety rules and regulations and clearly communicate your plans with your loved one’s facility before any visits or leaves of absence.
  4. Avoid the sinking feeling that comes with adult children leaving your home after a lovely visit or vacation with young adult kids. Instead, stop expecting people to talk to you and give yourself a little downtime after the visit.
  5. Remember that leaving your family behind by going to college doesn’t mean you’re completely dismissing them from your life. Separation sadness hurts, but it’s an important emotional marker. Here are some healthy ways to cope with the feelings.
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📹 Parents Took Me On Family Trip But Then Left Me At Hotel Entire Time Bc Brother Told To Leave Me…

Few years ago my parents took me on a family trip. It was unusual because they never treat me well and always forget I even exist.


How To Cope When Family Moves Away
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How To Cope When Family Moves Away?

Moving away from family is a deeply emotional experience that can elicit feelings of sadness, guilt, and homesickness. It's essential to allow yourself to grieve and feel whatever emotions arise, whether it’s practicing in front of a mirror or sharing the news with loved ones. Engaging in activities such as listening to music, talking to friends, or even taking a walk can help you cope. It's common to struggle with mixed emotions about leaving home, especially for significant transitions like college.

Maintaining regular communication with family and friends can bridge the emotional gap and alleviate homesickness. This could include sharing photos, planning visits, or having set video calls to keep in touch. Recognizing your emotions, whether they are related to guilt or excitement, is crucial for emotional health. It's also important to take care of yourself through proper nutrition, exercise, and establishing a supportive social network in your new environment.

Creating a routine and finding new opportunities to engage can help you adapt to the change. Ultimately, while moving away can be heart-wrenching, focusing on personal growth and maintaining connections will help you embrace this new chapter of life.

How Long Should Family Visit
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How Long Should Family Visit?

Finding the right length for family visits is crucial for maintaining comfort and harmony. A balanced approach is to set a finite duration—approximately two weeks seems ideal, as it allows ample time without overstaying welcome. Before visits, it's important to establish boundaries regarding household responsibilities and personal space to prevent conflicts. Visits lasting 7 to 10 days are suitable for family traveling long distances, considering their higher travel expenses.

Experts suggest that family should limit interactions, especially with newborns, waiting about one to three months to protect the baby's developing immune system. Even brief encounters can satisfy family members if they know they’ll have more time in the future. Balancing visits with breaks can help everyone recharge.

In general, the sentiment is that longer visits aren't necessarily better; the comfort of all parties involved is paramount. A rule of thumb suggests that close family can stay for 5 nights, while friends might be best hosted for 2 to 3 nights. Adjusting frequencies based on family dynamics is key; regular, brief visits might be more beneficial than infrequent, extended stays. Ultimately, each family should find an arrangement that balances connection with comfort, keeping in mind previous experiences and individual preferences.

What Should I Do If My Child Refuses A Visit
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What Should I Do If My Child Refuses A Visit?

When dealing with a child's refusal to visit the other parent, communication and understanding are key. Begin by inviting your child for a lunch or a walk in a neutral setting, and document this invitation via text to create a paper trail. If they continue to decline and make rude remarks during your visits, it may strengthen your position. If a child resists visitation, especially during their teen years, parents should establish clear rules and boundaries while accepting their changing priorities.

Encouraging open dialogue is crucial; if the child struggles to express their feelings, consider conveying their concerns without accusing the other parent. In some cases, you may need to seek legal advice if the situation escalates. It’s essential to notify the other parent promptly if visitation issues arise. If a child is uncooperative, explore underlying reasons and promote therapy to facilitate communication. Most judges favor maintaining visitation as ordered, stressing that parents should encourage relationships with the non-custodial parent.

If needed, consider family counseling or mediation as solutions. To address any custody concerns, consult an attorney to explore modifications as necessary. Always prioritize fostering a healthy relationship between your child and both parents.

How Do You Know If A Visit With Birth Parents Is Coming
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How Do You Know If A Visit With Birth Parents Is Coming?

Prior to a visit with birth parents, children may exhibit symptoms including nightmares, sleep disturbances, unrealistic expectations, and anxiety. After such visits, various feelings may arise, affecting the child's emotional well-being. Safety during visits to newborns is crucial; visitors should be free of any contagious illnesses and adhere to precautions, especially during flu season. New mothers have differing views on visitors post-birth; some may prefer rest and privacy, while others may welcome family.

Grandparents can face restrictions based on parents' preferences, which vary for each family. Communication about safety and vaccination is important, and parents should assert their boundaries regarding visits. It’s essential to prioritize the parents’ needs and the child’s comfort over external pressures for visitation. Preparing for birth parent visits can help foster better understanding and confidence in the adoptive process. Parents should maintain routines post-visitation to provide stability for the child.

Understanding the child’s perspective and feelings about their birth parents is crucial, and discussing experiences can ease tensions. While the desire for connection with birth parents exists, it is important to recognize the adoptive parents' role in the child’s life, emphasizing love and consistent support. The focus should remain on what’s best for the child, ensuring their emotional security and adjusting expectations accordingly.

What Is It Called When You Separate Yourself From Your Family
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What Is It Called When You Separate Yourself From Your Family?

Family estrangement refers to the severance of previously existing relationships among family members, characterized by physical and/or emotional distancing that leads to minimal or no communication over an extended period. This distance can also pertain to a legal disconnection from family, though the term "disown" lacks a formal legal definition. The process of legally separating from family typically applies to parents, grandparents, and children, with techniques varying based on relationships.

As adults, individuals can choose to cease contact with family by stopping calls and correspondence. One legal way for minors to separate from their parents is through emancipation, allowing them to gain adult status before 18, enabling greater independence. Family estrangement can manifest as chronic marginalization, leading to feelings of exclusion or disapproval within the family unit. The process of individuation also contributes to this separation, fostering an independent identity apart from the family.

Unlike simple separation, which can be a formal legal state, estrangement constitutes a deeper emotional and psychological disconnect, often paralleling the grief stages experienced after a loss. It is crucial to understand that this detachment is a multifaceted process involving both emotional growth and legal considerations in navigating family dynamics.

What Is The Depleted Mother Syndrome
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What Is The Depleted Mother Syndrome?

Mom burnout, also known as Depleted Mother Syndrome (DMS) or maternal burnout syndrome, is characterized by mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion stemming from intensive child care responsibilities. This condition emerges when overwhelming caregiving demands outpace a mother’s coping resources, leading to heightened sensitivity to both internal and external stressors. Symptoms include feelings of being unappreciated, undervalued, and invisible, which contribute to a sense of hopelessness and helplessness.

DMS occurs when a mother's energy and time are stretched thin, causing emotional disconnection and inadequacy. The syndrome can particularly affect new mothers who find themselves overwhelmed by the challenges of caring for a newborn or young child. As expectations rise and available resources diminish, many mothers struggle with a combination of stress and exhaustion, resulting in significant mental, emotional, and physical fatigue.

Recognizing the signs of DMS is crucial for addressing its challenges and finding ways to cope. Overall, Depleted Mother Syndrome highlights the pressing need for support and resources for mothers experiencing this state of profound burnout.

What Is It Called When You Leave Your Family
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What Is It Called When You Leave Your Family?

Family estrangement or disownment is a complex process, with individuals having unique reasons for cutting ties or facing rejection from their families. Many may consider distancing themselves from emotionally immature family members. Signs that indicate you might be ready to sever contact can manifest, especially when previous grievances or abuse are dismissed, leaving you feeling guilty for expressing your feelings. Once you become an adult, disowning typically involves ceasing all communication—no calls, emails, or visits.

There are compelling reasons to terminate these relationships, particularly in the face of any form of abuse—be it physical, emotional, or verbal. Recognizing these signs may be painful, particularly when the individuals in question are family. The cycle of toxicity can severely impact mental health, prompting the need for separation. Estrangement may also stem from repeated negative public commentaries or lack of support from relatives. Although the legal implications of disownment vary, emancipation can grant one the rights associated with adulthood.

Ultimately, while family should be a source of love and support, when it becomes suffocating, taking the step to cut ties may become essential for personal well-being. This complex journey often elicits anxiety and fear but can lead to greater emotional freedom.

Why Don'T I Want To Spend Time With My Family Anymore
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Why Don'T I Want To Spend Time With My Family Anymore?

Feeling conflicted about spending time with family is common, stemming from personal stress, differing interests, or past conflicts. Desiring space doesn't mean you don’t care about them. If you feel disconnected or even dislike your family, there are reasons and solutions to consider. Many individuals, including myself, cope with family issues by focusing on therapy; personal struggles often take precedence. Limited family interaction often occurs during holidays.

Unhealthy dynamics, such as poor communication and lack of boundaries, can exacerbate feelings of disconnection. Although I enjoy family gatherings, I prefer quieter spaces during hectic times. Some family dynamics can be emotionally draining due to toxic behaviors, neglect, or conflict. It’s essential to understand these causes to navigate family relationships better.

Signs of disconnection can stem from abuse or disdain for certain family members, which can breed animosity and tension. It's important to acknowledge these feelings, even in complicated relationships, such as feeling judged by siblings or parents. You can still love your family despite not always liking them. Key steps include recognizing your autonomy and expressing your thoughts and feelings openly. It's valid to feel isolated in your family, navigating the balance between loyalty and morality can be challenging.

It's crucial to understand that unhealthy behaviors, including emotional neglect and abuse, contribute to these feelings, and seeking help is a valid option. Ultimately, finding a way to maintain love while establishing personal boundaries can lead to healthier family dynamics.

Why Do I Feel No Connection To My Family
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Why Do I Feel No Connection To My Family?

Feeling disconnected from family can stem from various personal issues and experiences, including stress, mental health challenges, or past trauma. Differences in interests or lifestyles can also create barriers to connection. Moreover, unhealthy dynamics such as miscommunication and lack of boundaries often exacerbate these feelings. Individuals may struggle with emotional disconnection due to intergenerational trauma, abuse, neglect, or conflicting values.

The pain of feeling like an outsider within one’s family can lead to frustration and isolation, making it crucial to recognize how past experiences influence present relationships. Many people experience emotional detachment, which can be attributed to unmet expectations, often rooted in familial abuse or neglect, leading to a lack of genuine emotional connections. Others may feel like they receive more love from external sources, exacerbating the perception of family disconnection.

It’s important to understand that these feelings are normal and not a reflection of one’s worth or capability for connection. Healing strategies may involve examining personal feelings toward family, acknowledging trauma, and exploring avenues for communication. Ultimately, seeking to understand the complexities of family dynamics can lead to better emotional well-being, even in the absence of a traditional connection.

How To Stop Relatives From Visiting
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How To Stop Relatives From Visiting?

To manage family visits effectively, start by communicating openly with your relatives to set clear boundaries about what is acceptable. Be polite yet firm; if they arrive unannounced, kindly explain you can't host them. Reflect on past visits that might have been stressful and prepare accordingly. Avoid relying solely on your partner for planning and handling visits. When unexpected family members arrive, approach the situation with care and honesty, recognizing that some conversations may be challenging.

While it's vital to maintain relationships, you should protect your mental well-being. If interactions with difficult relatives become toxic, know when to disengage and take breaks. Setting a schedule that works for you may help prevent overwhelming situations. For persistent issues, consider speaking to an elder law attorney to understand your rights, especially concerning visitation. Additionally, practical strategies like installing a locking door knob for privacy can be beneficial.

During a family visit, consider diverting attention by not stocking food or engaging in entertainment that may encourage longer stays. Ultimately, prioritize your comfort and assure visiting relatives of your willingness to engage on your terms, creating a balance between family obligations and personal peace.


📹 My mother-in-law came to visit, then asked her family over and told me to leave as I’m not family.


Freya Gardon

Hi, I’m Freya Gardon, a Collaborative Family Lawyer with nearly a decade of experience at the Brisbane Family Law Centre. Over the years, I’ve embraced diverse roles—from lawyer and content writer to automation bot builder and legal product developer—all while maintaining a fresh and empathetic approach to family law. Currently in my final year of Psychology at the University of Wollongong, I’m excited to blend these skills to assist clients in innovative ways. I’m passionate about working with a team that thinks differently, and I bring that same creativity and sincerity to my blog about family law.

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15 comments

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  • Story 1 While the mum seems to be the bigger problem one line made me extra disgusted at the dad “he also grew up with neurodivergent siblings so he knows what it’s like.” There’s something extra nasty to me about people that have gone through something and then go on to excuse someone else committing the same action to another person.

  • S1: Huge NTA. Unfortunate OP had that outburst in front of the brother. But that’s chump-change compared to what the parents have done. Abandoning her at Disneyworld WTF??? They are royally failing both their children. Mom is the worst, but daddy isn’t much better. They will be completely shocked when OP drops them all like hot garbage, once she turns 18.

  • You should never tell a girl that boys are mean because they like you. It sets girls up for abusive relationships. You should have talked to the teacher the first time you found glue(snot in the hair). I hope your wife gets a go pro for your daughter so she can prove to her father that’s she’s being mistreated

  • The one where the husband invites almost a dozen people over for a dinner he’s not cooking without much warning, just ignore him and when everyone shows up tell them the truth. Sorry, but my soon to be ex husband invited all of you over at the last minute and refuses to cook or even help out and I’m done with his 💩. He can take all of you out to McDonald’s.

  • Story 1: Does this young boy have any support other than his family? Does he have occupational therapy, or physical or speech therapy? Because he desperately needs it. The parents aren’t helping either of their kids. OP is in a terrible situation. Their parents have basically abandoned OP. I hope she can spend more time with Rachel and her parents. Story 2: OP’s boyfriend is an entitled idiot. 🙄 Dinner party: WTF?!?!? BF is showing his true colors, and they aren’t pretty.

  • S1: Legally speaking the mom can stop the trip Due 2 op being 16, but if she tries put her ass on blast for everyone online. Tell them exactly this and give names and tag any family members Family friends and relatives. Let them know exactly what your mom did to you and is doing to you. And at eighteen leave them in the dust she made her choice

  • Story 3: what is wrong with you? Your kid tells you that boys are picking on her and you don’t care? Sure I’d ask questions as well. When did it happen. Why the teachers never knew? How long has this been happening. And more importantly, why didn’t you tell me sooner? Then I’d go to that school and raise hell!

  • S1 NTA, the dad shows signs that he’s not completely oblivious to how OP’s feeling, but is an AH and needs to grow a spine and stand up for OP to his wife and the satan sporn their raising!! Dude has 2yrs till OP turns 18 and she already has a adoptive family that would gladly take her in and freinds mom sounds like shes waiting for the opportunity to legally take in OP. I’m thinkig the updste in 2yrs will be OP moved out to live with her best friend and went NC. With OP mom calling her “ungrateful”; satan spawn having a meltdown and dad wondering why OP refuses to speak with any of them

  • OP1 – I’m incredibly pissed at OPs useless parents, obv for what they’re doing to OP (who will hopefully soon vanish from their lives, never to be seen again) but also because how hard they’re failing the autistic child. The kid is somewhat verbal, and is socially aware enough to manipulate people around them – they seem to have a decent shot at living an independent life one day IF Mommy and Daddy stop coddling them and start treating them according to their actual capabilities. Keep this up and the kid will never have life skills. (Source : was glass child, bro is autistic, parents were less idiotic but still pretty half assed, my bro is chill, but incapable of manipulation and non verbal. Hate OPs parents blowing their kids opportunities to live a full life)

  • Story 1, mother is a major asshole, dad is a doormat, and news flash for the parents, there are high odds that op is also neurodivergent, but girls aren’t normally diagnosed until mid 30s. But op is left without support and being her brothers carer making the parents even worse. Op needs to go to folks who love her. Personally I wouldn’t blame the brother, he’s only following the parents lead. Hopefully when he’s older he’s able to address his behaviour with a therapist.

  • OP YTA. At first i cound sort of understand why you were suspicious since you say your daughter calls boys dirtya d your right, she coukd be teasing or saying something to them so they react. But i still dont think putting snot or gum is her hair justifies them and one should never come home with foot prints on their clothes. If one has foot prints on their clothes that means someone is pushing her down and then putting their foot on her which is not acceptable at all and you should be 100% protecting dad mode and figuring this out and trusting her.

  • story one: I’d show op’s parents the post, point out the comment saying OP won’t look after them or her brother when they get old, and watch the mom have a meltdown, she’s gonna realize soon enough that raising a brat like that is gonna blow up in her face, and she’ll be the one having to chase him around when she can barely walk

  • Story 1: NTA. Op needs to go with their REAL FAMILY which is Rachel and her family. Story 2: NTA. Op should just dump him. She bought the cake for herself AT WORK. Also, I feel like an allergy test will solve the peanut butter problem really quickly. Story 3: YTA. They were putting snot and glue in her fair and leaving footprints on her dress, and op wanted to know the other side of the story? WOOOOOW. Story 4: NTA. Op should break up with him while she has the chance. He invited more people to the dinner after the initial agreement and after op already cooked for FOUR people. Story 5: NTA. Coparenting doesn’t have to have the parties like each other. They just need to be civil. Lacey hated op for no reason and despite all of her vitriol, op saved her “favorite” child’s life. Chris should’ve been stepped in to shut Lacey down and he needs to tell her to just leave op alone.

  • 2nd story. NTA You were going to be alone as far as you know. and OP massive Red flag. If anyone is selfish it’s your BF, to expect his partner to avoid anything he can’t eat, simply because he can’t eat it. No. that is beyond selfish. What will it be like if and when you move in together? I would seriously consider if you want to continue this relationship.

  • 1st. Story. Op needs an exit plan! Wonder if they will ‘insist’ that op go to a ‘local’ collage?, so that she can still be used as a support mechanism for brother. I also agree with the one comment about ‘Op having to take over her brothers care when the parent’s can no longer’ talk coming up at sometime.

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