In Sandra Cisneros’ novel “The House on Mango Street”, Esperanza’s family is deeply rooted in values that shape their lives and experiences. Esperanza’s mother, who has many skills, struggles with her own life and experiences. As she matures, she experiences a series of awakenings, particularly a sexual awakening. Her family, including her father who works two jobs and is absent most of the time, believes in hard work and education.
Esperanza’s family owns a small and crowded house, but they also pay for it. The story explores themes of womanhood, particularly the role of single mothers. Esperanza’s growth is marked by her increasing self-awareness and confidence, as she begins to recognize her worth beyond herself.
Throughout the novel, Esperanza deals with themes of womanhood, especially the role of single mothers. Her growth is marked by her increasing self-awareness and confidence, as she matures and recognizes her worth beyond herself. The Mexican family value of Catholicism is revealed throughout the book, as Esperanza attends baptisms and First Communions of their cousins.
The House on Esperanza describes the different types of hair of all members of her family, with Esperanza’s own hair not doing what she wants it to do, while her sister’s hair is smooth. Esperanza’s family is indigent and marginalized, lacking the same opportunities and advantages as more affluent families. Consequently, Esperanza gains closeness to her mother as she learns the value of family and lessons of patience from her Papa.
Throughout her journey, Esperanza is proud of her home and her parents for buying it, but she is disappointed by it and ashamed of it. She worries that the home will be taken from them. Esperanza draws inspiration from women who value education and are strong and independent.
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| The House on Mango Street Sections 10–13 Summary & … | Esperanza takes comfort in knowing these family connections, but she also mentions that they are “all brown all around,” which suggests that racial familiarity … | sparknotes.com |
| The House on Mango Street Review Flashcards | What does Esperanza see many of the young girls in her community longing for? … What does Esperanza’s family value? a. Family. What is true about the men in … | quizlet.com |
| Family In The House On Mango Street | Esperanza’s family is poor, but they are good at supporting each other’s problems and feelings. The role of Esperanza’s family is being annoying, yet … | ipl.org |
📹 Machiavelli’s Advice For Nice Guys
FURTHER READING “Our assessment of politicians is torn between hope and disappointment. On the one hand, we have an …
What Do You Know About Esperanza'S Family So Far?
The Ortega family consists of 13-year-old Esperanza, her parents Ramona (Mama) and Sixto (Papa), and her maternal grandmother, Abuelita. Sixto is a wealthy landowner in Aguascalientes, Mexico, who employs numerous workers on his estate, El Rancho de las Rosas. The extended family includes Papa's stepbrothers, Tio Luis, a banker, and Tio Marco, the town's mayor. Initially, Esperanza enjoys a privileged life, full of beautiful clothes and a nurturing environment.
However, after her father's tragic death from a bandit attack, her life drastically changes, forcing her to leave her lavish lifestyle behind. This upheaval leads Esperanza and her mother to escape to California during the Great Depression, where they struggle to survive in low-paying agricultural jobs.
As their circumstances shift, Esperanza grapples with feelings of shame and sadness, particularly during family outings. Her once-dreamy aspirations become challenging as she navigates her new reality, far removed from her former life of luxury. Despite this, her grandmother Abuelita provides unwavering support. Esperanza's journey is one of growth and resilience as she learns to adapt to her new life, reflecting the themes of hope, loss, and empowerment throughout "Esperanza Rising." Ultimately, she strives to maintain her sense of identity while also confronting the harsh realities that come with change and adaptation in a new country.
Why Did Esperanza Stop Going With Her Family?
Esperanza has decided to stop accompanying her family on their Sunday outings because she feels a profound sense of shame and sadness during these trips. While her family enjoys driving through affluent neighborhoods and dreaming of a better life, Esperanza finds herself exhausted by the stark contrast between their current situation and the homes they admire. She yearns for a house of her own, complete with a garden, but the continuous reminder of what they lack weighs heavily on her. Consequently, she separates herself from these outings, unwilling to confront the pain of dreaming about something that feels unattainable.
Esperanza also grapples with a deeper internal conflict, as she navigates the reality of relocating to the United States and the accompanying hardships of poverty. Despite her desire for connection, friendships such as with Marta present additional challenges as Marta's bitterness towards newcomers intensifies Esperanza's feelings of inadequacy. Throughout the story, Esperanza's emotional growth becomes evident, particularly after the loss of her father and the challenges her family faces adjusting to their new life.
In this tumultuous environment, she reflects on her responsibilities, particularly in caring for her ailing mother, further complicating her feelings toward her family's struggles. Ultimately, Esperanza's shame keeps her from engaging in dreams that are currently out of reach, solidifying her decision to stop going with her family to view houses that symbolize both hope and unattainable desires.
How Does Esperanza Get Her Strength?
Esperanza draws her strength from her family and the values they impart. In moments of despair, she finds solace under a tree, reflecting on her emotions while seeking beauty in her surroundings. Despite her youth at 13, she exhibits fierce determination to reunite with her grandmother, Abuelita, in the United States. Throughout her journey, Esperanza experiences the typical growing pains of adolescence, particularly in her community's context, where physical beauty becomes a means of escape. However, the transition from wealth to poverty poses challenges that force her to confront her new reality.
As she matures, Esperanza realizes that her worth extends beyond her physical appearance; her inner strength and resilience become paramount. This growth is especially evident as she navigates her mother's declining health and the disparities present in her new environment. Esperanza’s natural leadership and strong personality are tested after the tragic death of her father, Sixto. She steps into an adult role, working to provide for her family, underscoring her resilience.
Throughout the vignettes, her love for family anchors her, fostering hope and grounding her amid adversity. By acknowledging her writing talent, Esperanza finds a path to escape Mango Street, realizing that her community offers both strength and inspiration. Ultimately, she learns that her true power lies in embracing her identity and forging her future on her own terms.
Is Esperanza'S Family Wealthy?
The novel centers on Esperanza Ortega, the sole daughter of affluent Mexican parents, and chronicles her life following her father's murder. Initially, we learn that her father owned extensive land and employed numerous workers, indicating the family's wealth and elite status within their community. The narrative unfolds tensions as her father's stepbrothers, Luis and Marco, plot to claim his fortune by marrying Luis to Ramona and taking over the profitable El Rancho de las Rosas. While Ramona consents to the marriage, she holds a secret motive.
We see Esperanza's family, as wealthy landowners, face resentment from the local populace, highlighting the social disparities in their impoverished country ravaged by conflict and revolution. As Esperanza navigates her privileged upbringing, she experiences feelings of shame during public outings with her affluent family, reminding her of the harsh economic realities facing others.
Throughout "Esperanza Rising," class and wealth significantly influence character dynamics, as shown by the contrasting lives of Esperanza and her family's servants, Hortensia and Alfonso, who represent the poorer working class. The river that divides their worlds symbolizes the stark differences between Esperanza's privileged existence and the struggles faced by those less fortunate. The story ultimately explores themes of identity, resilience, and social justice in a changing world.
What Is Esperanza'S Family'S Social Status And Wealth?
At the story's outset, Esperanza Ortega is a privileged only child in a wealthy ranching family in Mexico, easily recognized by her servants who affectionately call her "la reina" (the queen). This luxurious lifestyle takes a dramatic turn when her father, Sixto, is killed by bandits, leading to the loss of their fortune and home. Grief-stricken, Esperanza and her mother, Ramona, are forced to flee to California. Social class and wealth intricately shape their identities and relationships throughout the narrative, emphasizing themes of culture, family, hope, and the meaning of home.
Esperanza's experiences highlight her emotional evolution from a sheltered girl to a resilient adolescent. Her beloved doll symbolizes this transition; initially a representation of her family’s status, it becomes a reminder of the innocence she loses. As Esperanza confronts her new harsh realities, her mother's strength and adaptability inspire her. Ramona, once an upper-class woman, learns the value of hard work and family unity, breaking social conventions.
The novel explores the stark contrasts between wealth and poverty, illustrating the resentment toward the elite class that Esperanza's family represented. Throughout her trials, Esperanza learns resilience, shaping her understanding of justice, belonging, and personal identity beyond wealth and privilege.
What Are Esperanza'S Values And Beliefs?
By the end of "Esperanza Rising," Esperanza's perspective on sex shifts as she moves away from viewing it as an escape. Her moral development transitions from individualism to a sense of responsibility toward her community. Initially a child desiring to flee Mango Street, she learns the value of hard work and forms friendships across class divides. The traditions she encounters play a pivotal role in shaping her identity and values, anchoring her in a rich cultural heritage amid various challenges.
Esperanza, the daughter of wealthy Mexican landowners, faces a harsh reality as poverty strips her of her privileged life, compelling her to confront her misconceptions about class and the "river" separating her from the working class. This journey teaches her resilience following the loss of her father and betrayal by family members. Despite feeling overwhelmed, Esperanza learns to advocate for herself and others, embodying hope. The story, set in the 1930s, highlights themes of classism, racism, determination, family, and the American dream.
Driven by her family’s values of hard work and education, Esperanza is determined to grow and achieve autonomy, representing the aspirations of women in her impoverished neighborhood striving for change and self-improvement.
Why Did Esperanza Have High Expectations For This House?
Esperanza had high expectations for their new house on Mango Street due to her parents' dreams and the portrayal of homes she saw on TV. They promised her a house with running water and real stairs, contrasting her past experiences. This scenario shaped her beliefs and aspirations, as she longed for a home that matched her family's ideals and the images promoted by the media. However, when they moved in, Esperanza's dreams clashed with reality, leading to disappointment; she did not view the house as a "real home." The contrasting lives of women like Minerva and Rafaela deepened her desire for independence and self-realization.
Throughout her journey, Esperanza grapples with societal expectations, including the pressures placed on women, feelings of shame, and the ongoing struggle with her identity. Experiences like her assault at the carnival reveal her vulnerability amid the harshness of her environment. Ultimately, she learns to embrace her individuality, challenge societal constraints, and assert her identity as a writer. While she initially focused on leaving Mango Street, her growth leads to a deeper understanding of herself and her community, as she aspires to escape the limitations imposed upon her by society.
Who Is Esperanza'S First Real Crush?
Sire is Esperanza’s first real crush, a neighborhood boy who occasionally stares at her. Despite feeling intimidated, Esperanza makes an effort to look at him when they cross paths, trying not to be afraid. Sire often hangs out with his girlfriend, Lois, who is described as petite and pretty. Esperanza’s attraction to Sire is complicated by her parents’ disapproval; they consider him a punk and advise her against getting involved with him. This only adds to his allure for Esperanza, as she experiences a rush of emotions typical of a first crush.
Watching Sire and Lois together, Esperanza imagines herself in Lois's place, grappling with the complexities of young love and jealousy. Sire symbolizes a potential life choice for Esperanza, reflecting the conflict between youthful desire and the caution imposed by her parents. Sire becomes a pivotal figure in her early experiences of attraction and sexual awakening, channeling the tenderness and confusion of adolescence.
Ultimately, Sire represents more than just a crush; he is indicative of the themes of desire, identity, and the challenges of coming of age that resonate throughout Esperanza's narrative in "The House on Mango Street" by Sandra Cisneros.
Why Does Esperanza Say 'The Family Of Little Feet'?
In "The Family of Little Feet," Esperanza expresses her desire to grow up quickly while grappling with the fact that she appears older than her age. The phrase "we are tired of being beautiful" reflects the burden of societal expectations placed on young girls. Despite their shared frustrations, the girls engage in playful banter, which highlights their innocence amidst emerging complexities. Esperanza dreams of a whimsical family with tiny, plump feet, blending fantasy and reality during an episode when they receive old high-heeled shoes.
Esperanza's narrative reveals her strengths, such as her creativity and determination, as she uses her imagination to cope with her confused identity. However, she also faces weaknesses, including feelings of inadequacy and the pressure to fit societal ideals. Esperanza is crucial to the story as she embodies the struggles of adolescence and the challenges young girls endure while transitioning into adulthood. One revealing statement from her is her discomfort with her own changing body, saying it’s "scary" to see her long legs and unfamiliar foot.
Ultimately, the vignette serves as a metaphor for growth and the complexities associated with beauty and identity. While the shoes symbolize the allure of adulthood, they also bring a realization of the responsibilities and expectations that accompany it. This chapter poignantly captures the tension between childhood innocence and the harsh realities awaiting young girls.
How Does Esperanza Feel About Her Father?
In Sandra Cisneros's "The House on Mango Street," Esperanza's relationship with her father is complex. While she loves him, she perceives him as distant and feels alienated from her family and community. The vignette "Papa Who Wakes Up Tired in the Dark" reveals Esperanza's growing empathy for her father as she reflects on his sadness after the loss of his own father. This marks a significant moment of maturity for Esperanza, as she attempts to understand her father's emotional pain for the first time.
Despite the warmth of his generosity, such as bringing her special fruit on her birthday, there is an underlying tension; her father's neglect of their harsh living conditions amplifies Esperanza's fear of him and authority figures in general. She recognizes that a part of him is lost to grief, which adds further complexity to her emotions. As the oldest child, she feels the burden of responsibility to care for her siblings during this difficult time.
Through Esperanza's characterization and her father's struggles, Cisneros explores themes of identity, family dynamics, and the intergenerational impact of trauma and loss in their cultural context. Esperanza's feelings reflect her desire for connection, despite the barriers between them.
What Did Esperanza'S Family Do For A Living?
In Chapter 1 of "Esperanza Rising," we meet Esperanza Ortega, a young girl living in Aguascalientes, Mexico, during 1930, alongside her affluent family and their servants. The Ortegas are wealthy landowners, chiefly involved in ranching and running a grape vineyard that spans thousands of acres. They responsibly cultivate grapes for winemaking and own cattle as part of their prosperous lifestyle. However, their fortunes shift due to unexpected financial struggles, prompting them to leave for California, where they must adapt to life as farm laborers.
While enjoying a meal, Esperanza's mother plays a Madame Butterfly record and imparts an important lesson to Esperanza about self-reliance, urging her to be independent rather than depend on a man. The family is characterized by their close bonds, yet touches of vulnerability appear, particularly when Esperanza's father, who juggles multiple jobs, breaks down after receiving news of his father’s death.
Esperanza's feelings of discontent begin to surface; she resists attending family outings due to her disappointment in their changing social status. The narrative also introduces Esperanza's family dynamics, her experiences at school, and the contrast of her life in Mexico versus their new existence in America, foreshadowing her journey of identity and resilience.
📹 #GiveInToGiving #العطاء_ثراء
As we celebrate World Kindness Day on 13th November, let’s take time to reflect on how we can make a difference. Let’s reach out …
I only stopped being a victim when I learned five things very late in life: 1) People will instantly manipulate you without conscience if they think you’re a “nice guy”. And women will subconsciously test you to see if you’re a “nice guy” (i.e., a rejected prospect who can’t protect them) or a good man, who is capable of protecting them, by trying to bully or manipulate you. Even the “nice” girls will do that. How do you pass this test? By being willing to stand up to them, and saying “No”, and being willing to walk away, without being an asshole about it and without looking back. Eventually, if you Ever had a chance with them, they will come back to you, as you have proven you are capable of standing up for yourself (and thus capable of standing up for them). Women may be completely unconscious they are even doing this. 2) Learning how to be instantly willing to give someone a bloody nose without guilt, if I need to. After I learned how to do this, I stopped needing to actually do it, as potential bullies sense you are willing and capable of doing it. 3) Everyone is a potential bully. Including you. It’s just a human fact of survival. Always be aware of that fact, and be willing to check it in yourself and others, even if they’re someone you love. 4) Stop being a “nice guy”. You’re being a nice guy because you expect to be rewarded for being a nice guy, which is hypocrisy, and women hate that. A “nice guy” is actually a hypocrite, because he expects a reward for being “nice”.
I certainly agree that there is a lot to learn from evil people. Yet we should never overlook Nietzsche’s warning: “Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.” Thanks for the articles 🖖
Actually what some people think was a defeat on the cross, was actually the bigges vitory ever: “He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him. In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross.” Colosians 2:15. And in another portion of Scripture says “if you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame. Believe here it means not just trust in him but also give your life to him through repentance.
So many people get Machiavelli wrong. Machiavelli is all about situational action, not about keeping a constant rulers personality. You should be nice when the situation calls for it, and you should be ruthless when the situation calls for that too. Machiavelli would never advise you to be “machiavellian” as the word means today all the time, he would say that in some cases that would make sense, others you should be as nice as Sanata. He simply was trying to introduce “relativity” into politics that older classical philosophers who believed you should always be good or riteous didn’t understand.
I’m paraphrasing Jordan Peterson: Let’s not confuse being harmless with being virtuous. If you’re too weak/scared to do damage, you are not virtuous, you’re just harmless. If you’re capable of doing serious damage and you’re a force to be reconned with, then you can be virtuous by not doing damage when not necessary. If you are harmless, that’s the problem you should be solving. You need to grow teeth, otherwise you’re just going to grow resentful as the world runs you over.
I remember this scene from the Castlevania netflix series, where Lenore, a vampire diplomat visits Hector, a human captive in his cell and tries to establish a connection with him by being kind and generous. At some point he manages to get a hold of her throat and threatens her, to which she invades his cell and beats the shit out of him. And then she says, “I am a diplomat Hector, i make peace. I make peace, and because of that people think i am soft, people think i am weak. You won’t make that mistake again, will you?” She is genuinely interested in helping him, she is light hearted and kind but won’t hesitate to use violence or anything else when necessary. Always good to see these sorts of depictions in media considering that’s what most people expose themselves to, hopefully we can all pick up on those underlying principles that permeate characters like this.
The problem with Machiavelli’s principle is the underlying assumption that being successful in a temporary world is meaningful. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s muscles were finely tuned when he was young to only have them wither. Building a statue to our hero’s, only to have the Sun eventually destroy it. The work done on Earth ends up being in vein. The choice then becomes, in a vein world, is it better for all living things to live peacefully, dignified, and kind, or unleash the Hitler.
People aren’t getting the point of this article. No, he’s not saying we have to be mean assholes. He’s saying we should focus less on our good intentions and more on how to FULFILL those intentions. Be assertive, and don’t let people walk all over you. You can still be a “nice” person and be successful if you are willing to put yourself first. “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is quite machiavellian but guess what? You don’t “win friends” by being mean.
Here is the tragicomic story that had taught me this lesson: I had this neighbour downstairs who would listen to techno music all day long, louder than you could ever imagine! And if there is one thing on earth I would pay a fortune for, it is SILENCE and there was absolutely no more silence and peace for me at home. It was a nightmare. So one day I knocked at his door and said: -What can WE do about it? Could you use headphones may be? And if you don’t have headphones can I buy you one? He said, oh yes you can. And he told me about these fancy wireless headphones he would like to have. So the very same day I went to a store and got them for him. A couple of days had passed. And the music got back. The worst thing is that you not only hear the bass, but the floor under your feet vibrates all the time…There is no way you can concentrate on anything… So I went downstairs again. He asked me if I had wireless Internet connection. I said yes. So he said: – Oh so you can give me your password and I can use it too. So I DID give him that password. The music got a little lower the following days, but it was still really loud!! He said he was using the headphones, but of course not all the time. And now he was using my Internet connection too! He also asked me if I could give him free guitar lessons. And once again I said yes!!! Well this is really as stupid as you can get in an obsession of solving any problem in a peaceful, generous and kind way. It is not only stupid and ineffective, but it is definitely PATHOLOGICAL too!
Having been a nice person for most of my life i learnt it the hard way that there will be wicked people who will have their justification for their evil ways. Now, I spot the wicked people early on, i counteract their evil ways and ensure that I’m not at the receiving end. Not the best of ways to live but certainly better than being fooled all the time
As a retired world history professor there were 3 books I gave my students to read for their assignment for the term. They only had to give an oral presentation to pass. Machiavell’s The Prince, Sun Tzu’s The Art of War, and John Adams, In The Defence of The Constitutions of the United States of America. And yes Constitutions is plural. This is a very good and correct website. Kudos.
Unfortunately this is so true. Look at the world leaders and dictators and how many of them are evil. They didn’t make it to the top because they are nice. Even where I work I have seen this. I work for a large corporation and I had one boss who was super nice guy, great team member player, never called in sick, rarely took vacation, and was one of most technologically talented and had a Masters degree and he was laid off. Why? He didn’t play the, game, didn’t network or form alliances, and didn’t plot/scheme, maybe you can say he was naive not to. On the other hand 2 of the worst people i have ever worked with that I have zero trust with have been promoted within the same company. You can be nice but don’t be naive. You need to learn who the evil people are and take steps to protect yourself. I had one horrible boss who often tried to make me look bad telling me to do something but then denying it when her boss didn’t like it. I saved all the mean emails and messages so when she came after me I had evidence to defend myself which ultimately led to her demotion. In this world simply doing your job well isn’t enough you also need to find out who is evil and know how to defend against them.
That’s my greatest problem, i always act by the avoidance of conflict, even putting myself in places i’m not comfortable just to not disturb the others. And here i am, stuck, everyone takes me for granted. I don’t achieve anything in my life, i just exist, like a plant. This is sad, and it’s really difficult to change that.
“Nice guys” are guys who don’t have anything else valuable to bring. 0:42 — “Threaten or get violent”; This is out the window when you’re stronger & more physically capable. Amazing how as I got bigger & stronger, the less “nice” I was perceived. A dude once tried me one time too many with a condescending comment, I warned him multiple times. He didn’t listen and I grabbed him by throat and with one hand, threw him against wall—then let him go. Point made. Life requires being ruthless, and attain high competence, but also acquire power. Power = influence, something done through listening more than anything else.
This advice is misleading. It assumes someone who sees themself as ‘nice’ can act in contradicting ways while retaining their ‘nice’ label. If you act in a heinous manner you’ve acted heinous. You’re not still a ‘nice’ guy. You’re complex. Everybody is capable of acting in a Machiavellian way. Solzhenitsyn wrote in The Gulag Archipelago: “If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?”
This is a very dangerous road to tread on. It encourages people who merely think their goals are noble and virtuous to use violence, intimidation, deception and lies to achieve these goals. We have to keep in mind that despicable people are not only despicable because of their ends but also because of their means. Someone who murders for a supposedly good cause is only a hint better than someone who does the same for a bad cause. Who has the authority to decide what is so good or so bad that it legitimizes the use of e.g. violence for resp. against it anyway? Who dares to put himself up to be the ultimate moral arbiter to decide over other people’s lives, not to mention their deaths, in the name of the “greater good” except for incredibly egomaniacal personalities?
Reminds me of a quote from the anime Black Clover: There the main character asks the king of the mages about how to become the next king of the mages (which is the main goal of the main character of the whole show) and gets as an answer something along the lines of: “Well, some people say you have to be the most talented. Others say you have to be the most hard working. Again others say that you have to be the most good hearted person. … But that’s all nonsense. You need successes. Gather one success after another. Become the most successful. That is the only way.”
This is my advice for nice guys. Ignore them. Live your own life and learn to be happy in it. My logic being that no bird wants to go out with some mopey sad sack. Go out, dance bad, be honest with her and take her home. 9 times out of ten she will invite you in as long as you are ready to go home and shrug your shoulders.. Thats the secret chaps. Always just be ready to walk off. They will chase you or they won’t.
“What shall a man profit if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul?” -Mark 8:36 Life on earth is just temporary, and the average lifespan is about 70 years, while life after here on earth is for eternity and you choose whether eternity in heaven or eternity in hell. Being kind, good, compassionate, hated, and persecuted christian is worth all it because your reward in heaven is eternal life. Machiavellian’s ideas to achieve success and riches are only temporary(approximately 70 yrs. if you are lucky) because you can not carry your success or riches after you die.
It is considered smart today to read the Prince, but no one seems to read his Discourses, where Machiavelli points out that the Italy of his day is pile of shit because of its lack of ethics, with ethics being something the Roman Republic managed to get the hang of for the few centuries in which it rose to power. It should also be remembered the man for whom Machiavelli wrote the Prince didn’t hire Machiavelli, and the man who allowed himself to be bullied by his neighbors into paying large sums of money to avoid going to war, and that for that reason one of the most amazing and beautiful cities in the world exists today. Machiavelli went out of style during the enlightenment, and has since come back into style because we are our own worst enimies, and why not take a good look at what is happening now to the US.
You can be nice from a place of subservience, accommodation, fear, low self-esteem. Alternatively, you can be nice because you have a robust self worth, you genuinely like your life and know how to defend yourself, and have CHOSEN to be nice. The outer behaviour might be the same, but there is an ocean of difference between the two versions. Nice aint always nice.
If it weren’t for the majority of people basically wanting to do good we’d all be bashing each others head in and the planet would be done in a second. It’s a close call these days cause we’re surrounded by psychopaths in power but luckily most people just want to live a normal life with a few loved ones, a roof and a little food on the table and it sets the scale in the righter way. How long would this species survive if we were all Hitlers? I say celebrate normality, sanity and ordinary good people in this world, without them we’re doomed.
What I have discovered is that bad people I must simply walk away and shut them out forever. There is no other way. As people we can change but we generally won’t change We can treat people well as long as they appreciate it. We have to learn to create and enforce boundaries, but also to be able to exclude and if possible punish those who don’t respect them
My mother was an extraordinary woman, she should have a psychologist. Born in Boston to Irish parents, she grew up despising weak men, specially those crying at furnals. One night my father came home from the dockyard with two black eyes and no buttons on his shirt and when he walked into kitchen, my mother said, “i see you were at it again, Jimmy Donovan? And what dose other fellow look like?” “Two black eyes he won’t need buy a tooth brush again.” “Right,” she said, “sit down, your dinner will be ready in 5 minutes.” Years later, when my grandfather died in Co, Waterford, my mother had just enough money to bring me with them to Ireland for the furnal. I was 17. Aftet the furnal all the clan went to their local bar and sang, and told stories ending with boozy tears of the wance great fist fighter, old Paddy Donovan.
This is how you rationalize “alternative facts” and violence. I think that instead fighting fire with fire we should get creative and keep working toward a better future in a slow but honest manner. If we don’t abide by our principles, how is anyone going to follow us? We should stop being passive progressives or liberals, but we shouldn’t repeat the backwards and deceiving ways of the other.
I read a quote that made me think for a whlie: “Dialogue is the best way to resolve a conflict” I realized that something was missing, so I added: “But it’s not the most effective” Just think when somebody is so annoying and you tell them to stop but doesnt stop until you hit them: Dialogue didnt work so you need to use violence. Conclusion: Violence is the most effective way to resolve a conflict BUT NOT THE BEST because it could get worse if the other person is violent, so Dialogue is better only when the other person is willing to be reasonable.
For the entirety of my adult life, I have engaged in a process I call “curing my own ignorance.” Trust me when I tell you that my education only began the day I finished school. The process is simple: You hear something you don’t understand…so you grab a book on it and find out what in the hell it means. Do that every day of your life, and by the time you reach 53 you too will be a deeply learned man. “Machiavellian.” That is one it just took me a while to get to. I have heard the term my whole life, but recently the term was spoken in my presence, at a time when I wasn’t reading about something else. So I finally got to it, picked up the Prince and read it. Is this all that was about? This guy is pretty simple and basic with what he is saying. Most of it is just common sense. I can sum up his whole philosophy in a couple of sentences: “Think things through to the third step of the equation. Deal with what comes next at the same time as you are dealing with the part that comes now, objectively, decisively and without emotion.” Boom. Read the last two sentences of my last paragraph, and you have read Machiavelli. And who knew? I have been a “Machiavellian” my whole life, and I had never even read the guy. Well, now I know. Next am reading about the Stoics, because they always seem to come up at the same time as Machiavelli. Time to see how they tie in to all of this.
I’m 34 and been a miserable loser so far from being a perpetual people-pleaser and a submissive pushover. My intentions have been honourable and in the common interest as I believed every man puts others welfare and well-being before his’. But now, I have no shame in admitting I have been reduced to a nobody and virtually existent on paper and to the extent that other people need me to do their work. However, I m glad I came upon Robert Greene s book, the 48 laws of power, which has taught me how being excessively naive or helpful could work to our detriment and bring about certain downfall. Trust no one, especially friends, hide your real intentions and don’t appear helpful or readily available. Value your time and let the other person know they can have only what you can give them. Be secretive about your moves and don’t give away the slightest sense of fear or doubts that you may have. You need not be scheming or vindictive but these are the barest essentials you ll need in your treacherous and unpredictable life journey.
hmm. Im not sure about this one. This may have been true in that era, however the world has now changed. Being humble and kind will actually get us job offers, help us in our fields by having better relationships with our coworkers, and if our goal in life is to provide enough money to build an orphanage (just an example) being a good guy in the office might actually get us there. It’s all about the situation. It’s not quite black in white as this is. Before taking this advice Id do a little more research myself. However learning from ones enemies isnt entirely a bad thing..
Machiavelli observed nicely, but not deep enough. First, there are certain deep laws of nature that make it so that habitually cruel, manipulative and treacherous people are almost never happy, and ultimately almost always fall. Second, once you sacrifice your principles for the achievement of greater good, as Machiavelli puts it, you are becoming one of those you despise. Because those you despise were not born evil. They were just choosing the easier route. Over, over and over. Until they became who they are. Weakness is the cause of evil, not strength.
It is interesting the way he regards Jesus’ life as a practical failure because it lacked any “comfort” (even though his life literally changed the world!) only to say that, and I quote, “the purpose is to change the world for the better, not reside in the quiet comforts and a warm heart”. I guess you must pick one…
“For my part I consider that it is better to be adventurous than cautious, because fortune is a woman, and if you wish to keep her under it is necessary to beat and ill-use her; and it is seen that she allows herself to be mastered by the adventurous rather than by those who go to work more coldly. She is, therefore, always, woman-like, a lover of young men, because they are less cautious, more violent, and with more audacity command her.” -Niccolo Machiavelli I’m not in any way endorsing this quote, but that’s the un-sugarcoated Machiavelli. He advised a lot of vicious things, no matter how people try to repackage it.
Has anyone ever noticed that those who, throughout history, were reported as being some of the worst humans to have lived and engaged in some of the most evil and barbarous acts never really saw an upcommance, until they were old? My son pointed this out to me once and even added, “The old saying ‘They’ll get theirs!’ just doesn’t really seem to bother those people, because it is as if they knew all along that they wouldn’t ‘get theirs’, until they were old and didn’t really care anymore.” 🤔
There’s nothing much to learn from evil people because they were born with an advantage they could take advantage of. Most of us don’t have that. If I try to set boundaries and stand up for myself, I pay a heavy price. I lose connections, get ostracized, get fired from work, etc. I don’t have the privilege to manipulate my means to get what I need or want. I have very limited ways to act which don’t get me what I want.
The reason why being kind or meek or gentle in this world doesn’t seem to have positive outcomes is because the system of the world is broken. From what I can garner from Machiavelli’s advice, he suggests that we forgo idealism and focus on realism. That we allow ourselves to get absorbed into the world and become a part of it so that we can play the game better.
I’ve been dealing with those who mistake being kind and understanding as weak. When that occurred I set down quietly that they now have my attention…look them straight in their eyes and ask … Do you really want my undivided attention ? I suggest you really don’t want that. If they are truly connected with your true energy . They are now aware they should stop that misconception. If not deal with it however is necessary. Never fail to focus on what one needs to do.