Family members can be judgmental, understanding, or even hostile towards you for not spending enough time with them. Some may feel guilty for not spending more time with them, while others may be supportive and understanding. However, the key is to force family time to remind your kids what is important to them, what choices are right for their future, and what decisions will best support their goals.
There are nine signs that you may be not spending enough time with family:
- Your child refuses to open up to you. Kids need to know that they have your undivided attention and that you’re concerned. Common reasons for feeling guilty include telling lies, not spending time with family, religious beliefs, and perceived responsibility. Research has found that women are more likely to feel guilt. Family gatherings should be about great memories, fun times, warm conversation, good food, and family pride, not driven by a feeling of “obligation”.
Guilt is a typical emotion in American parents, as many feel guilty because they don’t believe it’s enough. This can be due to an emotionally immature, possibly toxic parent, or a feeling of guilt about the amount of time spent with their children. Guilt is a typical Level 1 emotion, where we feel that the world is happening to us and that we are completely alone.
As a working parent, you may still feel guilty when you’re not actively spending quality time with your children. This can lead to a child feeling that they’re not important, which can harm their sense of importance.
There are legitimate reasons for feeling guilty for not spending time with your children, such as feeling selfish and horrible. There are ways to spend true quality time with your children, even if you’re a working parent who feels you can’t squeeze another minute from work. By focusing on spending quality time with your children, you can help them feel valued and supported, ultimately leading to a happier and healthier life.
| Article | Description | Site |
|---|---|---|
| Why do I feel guilty for not being with my family even … | It is a form of manipulation and control, which can often point to emotional abuse, and is a result of an emotionally immature, possibly toxic parent. | quora.com |
| Feeling guilty about how much time you spend with your … | Feeling guilty about the amount of time you spend with your children means no one wins, writes clinical psychologist and parent guide, Dr Julie Meehan. | image.ie |
| Feeling bad about not spending time with a loved one … | I feel guilty for not spending time with him but it’s heartbreaking to see him like that. I feel selfish and horrible. I don’t know what to do. | agingcare.com |
📹 7 Things You Shouldn’t Feel Guilty For
Guilt is defined as a “feeling of deserving blame, anger, or shame, often evoked when we consciously hurt others with our words, …
Is Getting Together A Family Obligation?
Family gatherings should ideally be a source of joy and cherished memories rather than felt obligations, according to Dr. Avidan Milevsky, an associate professor of psychology. When family members perceive these gatherings as mandatory, it signals deeper issues within familial relationships. Gatherings should focus on creating warm conversations and enjoying good food, fostering family pride. Significant life events, holidays, and milestones often necessitate participation, but as adults, one should not feel compelled to accommodate family pressures.
The emotional complexities of family obligations can create tension, especially if one member finds the experience painful. To maintain healthy relationships, it’s crucial to establish boundaries, open communication, and a balance between fulfilling obligations while prioritizing personal happiness.
Additionally, while laws regarding intimate relationships exist, they can complicate interpersonal dynamics, particularly in cohabitating situations. Ultimately, obligations to oneself should take precedence. Participating in family events can strengthen bonds and provide emotional support, yet it’s essential to assess one’s comfort level. Striking a balance between personal needs and familial expectations can resemble walking a tightrope.
Families should strive to create new traditions and support each other emotionally, rather than reinforcing rigid roles and expectations. Overall, nurturing a fulfilling family environment can be achieved through understanding and adjusting family dynamics, thus prioritizing affection over obligation and fostering deeper connections.
Is It Okay To Not Spend Time With Family?
Kids lacking strong family bonds are at a higher risk for drug abuse, antisocial behaviors, aggression, and unhealthy relationships. This trend is concerning as families are spending less time together. While holiday gatherings can enhance mental health through connections with loved ones, they can also be damaging, particularly for those with dysfunctional family dynamics or past trauma. The pressure to maintain these ties can lead to emotional detachment due to unhealthy behaviors like poor communication and lack of boundaries. Teenagers, often preoccupied with their social lives, may resist family time, highlighting the need for parents to manage their expectations.
Experts suggest that adults should not feel obligated to spend vacation time with family if it negatively impacts their mental health. Family gatherings should create positive experiences rather than feel obligatory. Not everyone has the means or emotional capacity to engage with family, and that's acceptable. It’s crucial to recognize the impact family relationships can have on well-being while also valuing personal mental health. As potentially beneficial as family time can be, quality over quantity matters.
Maintaining healthy connections and fostering supportive environments is essential, especially for kids, as meaningful interactions can lead to better life outcomes and emotional resilience. Balancing family commitments with personal needs is key to fostering positive relationships.
Do People Regret Not Spending Time With Family?
Regret often arises from missed opportunities with friends, poor academic performance, or negative talk about others. However, the pain of not spending enough time with loved ones is particularly intense and enduring. As people age, many fear regretting having moved out too soon, missing precious moments with family. Despite the natural desire to embrace independence, neglecting family connections can lead to lifelong sorrow. People frequently take family for granted, realizing too late its importance.
Regularly set aside time to enjoy meals with family or reconnect with siblings and parents, as opportunities to bond are fleeting. Many express remorse over not having shared more significant moments with parents, leading to lasting emotional wounds. Research indicates that common regrets among older adults revolve around family interactions, with prominent examples being time spent with children and maintaining relationships. A large majority of respondents note that they regret not pursuing education diligently, failing to seize crucial opportunities, and not investing enough time with family and friends.
Reflecting on these regrets can guide better life choices moving forward. Parents in particular often lament not bonding with their children during critical early years, adversely affecting relationships into adulthood. Ultimately, most people acknowledge that family time is irreplaceable; as time slips by, the importance of cherishing relationships becomes clear. Embracing these sentiments can help prioritize family connections, diminishing long-term regret and fostering lasting memories shared together.
Should Families Be Forced On Each Other?
During the holidays, many may strive to present an image of familial closeness for societal approval, which can inadvertently impose guilt on children about obligations. However, the aim of promoting family harmony may not be met through forced interactions. Such pressures lead to divisive dynamics where family members choose sides, heightening anxiety and reactivity, ultimately resulting in a troubled familial atmosphere marked by conflict. Understanding dysfunctional family patterns is essential for breaking free from cycles of blame and boosting self-esteem.
Families, often united by blood rather than choice, can become sources of emotional wounds through frequent quarrels or silent frustrations. While some tension is normal, constant disputes can be exhausting. Authentic conflict resolution should start with acknowledging offenses, regardless of intention. Family estrangements can occur for various reasons, such as toxic behaviors, leading to painful separations. Furthermore, forcefully fostering relationships may increase animosity rather than connection.
Children may be pushed into uncomfortable dynamics with siblings, complicating relationships further. It’s crucial to recognize individual boundaries, especially during family care situations. As societal views shift towards accepting the cutting of toxic ties, one must navigate these complexities to foster healthier relationships or consider life beyond a dysfunctional family network.
Is Feeling Guilty Always A Bad Thing?
Feeling guilty can be a normal response after wrongdoing, helping individuals recognize and learn from their mistakes. However, when guilt is frequently used by family members to manipulate, it indicates a more pervasive issue. Guilt can manifest as excessive or unwarranted feelings that may negatively impact mental health, leading to distress and depressive symptoms. A "guilt complex," or false guilt, arises when individuals feel blame for situations even when not at fault. This can stem from a heightened sense of responsibility or empathy towards others, creating an overwhelming sense of guilt that isn’t productive.
While guilt can signal that one’s moral standards have been compromised, it’s essential not to dwell on these feelings excessively. Taking responsibility for one’s actions and finding ways to navigate past mistakes can alleviate persistent guilt. Recognizing that mistakes are part of being human is crucial; guilt should not dominate one’s emotional landscape. It is important to limit exposure to environments that provoke guilt and to understand guilt as a typical emotional response rather than a core aspect of one’s identity.
Overall, balancing guilt can promote personal growth, but it should not lead to a continuous state of self-blame or distress. When guilt becomes overwhelming, learning about its causes and coping strategies is necessary for mental well-being.
What Are The Six Types Of Families?
Currently, family structures can be categorized into six main types, each with unique dynamics:
- Nuclear Family: Comprised of two parents (typically married or in a common-law relationship) and their children. This is the traditional family model.
- Single-Parent Family: A family led by one parent, often facing unique challenges and dynamics.
- Extended Family: This structure includes additional relatives, such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, living together or maintaining close relationships.
- Childless Family: Couples without children, either by choice or circumstance.
- Stepfamily: Formed when one or both partners bring children from previous relationships into a new partnership.
- Grandparent Family: A family where grandparents take on the primary caregiving role for their grandchildren.
Understanding these various family types enhances our perspective on social dynamics, highlighting that no one structure is superior to another. The evolving definitions of family reflect societal changes, encompassing a broader range of relationships and living arrangements.
Is A Family Member Using Guilt To Manipulate You?
When a family member frequently employs guilt to influence your feelings or actions, it typically indicates manipulation. One manifestation of this is conditional love, where affection is shown only when you comply with their desires. Such dynamics often involve some degree of manipulation. For example, a manipulative family member might launch guilt trips like reminding you of sacrifices made during your birth. Emotional manipulation can range from guilt-tripping to more severe behaviors like gaslighting, where they shift blame and make you doubt your own experiences.
Recognizing common signs of manipulation is crucial for protecting your emotional well-being. These signs include the manipulator's "poor me" mentality and passive-aggressive behavior, including lying or feigning shock. Emotional blackmail may also be present, where the manipulator uses guilt, shame, or threats to control others. It's important to remember that just because someone is a family member doesn't guarantee their intentions are supportive.
Guilt is a classic tactic used to induce compliance, and guilt trips serve as emotional abuse meant to control behavior. Acknowledging and addressing these manipulative behaviors can help safeguard your mental health, allowing for healthier family interactions. Overall, understanding these dynamics equips individuals to navigate familial relationships while minimizing the emotional toll of manipulation.
Why Do I Not Enjoy Spending Time With My Family?
It’s common to feel torn about spending time with family due to personal stress, differing interests, or past issues. Wanting space doesn’t mean you don’t care; it’s okay to feel less love over time, even if your family meant well. Many dread family gatherings, especially during holidays like Christmas. While family members may not treat you poorly, time spent together can feel uncomfortable. Unhealthy patterns, such as miscommunication and lack of boundaries, can lead to disconnection.
However, spending time with family offers benefits like increased happiness and reduced stress, impacting overall well-being positively. Engaging regularly with family can also build self-esteem, especially in children, and help foster stronger familial bonds. Some may feel judged by their families, possibly due to differing values or personalities, leading to reluctance in engagement. Despite the challenges, it’s crucial to remember the importance of maintaining relationships, as quality time with loved ones can have lasting effects on psychological health.
While some families may be toxic or difficult, understanding one’s feelings and seeking balance is vital. In conclusion, acknowledging these emotions and adjusting expectations can help navigate family dynamics, fostering a healthier atmosphere.
Is It OK To Take Time Away From Family?
Taking a break from toxic family members, including parents, is often necessary for mental health, according to marriage and family therapist Emily Simonian. Many people feel pressured to maintain constant closeness with their families due to a parent's needs. However, research indicates that distancing oneself can be beneficial. Signs that suggest it's time to step back include ongoing negativity and emotional exhaustion, as well as boundary violations.
Approximately 25% of adults experience estrangement from family, and recognizing when your family is not a supportive environment is crucial. The need for alone time is normal, facilitating self-care and emotional healing. The holidays can intensify feelings of estrangement, making it essential to prioritize individual well-being. Time apart allows for reflection and understanding of relationship dynamics, leading to clearer boundaries and perspectives.
Feeling detached from family due to emotional neglect is common, yet help is available. Ultimately, a break can provide clarity, enhance appreciation for family bonds, and improve personal well-being, reinforcing the idea that taking time for oneself is an investment in both health and relationships.
What Are The Effects Of Not Spending Time With Family?
Not spending quality time together hinders families from functioning as a supportive unit. Members with personal issues may hesitate to seek help, opting instead to face challenges alone. Various distractions like cell phones and video games contribute to families skipping traditional bonding time, which, according to a Pew Research Center survey, remains a top priority for Americans. However, psychological research underscores that quality family interactions are vital for emotional, cognitive, and social development.
The importance of spending time with family can be summarized in six key reasons, including opportunities for bonding, creating lasting memories, and nurturing relationships through shared experiences. Despite busy schedules, families can find ways to lessen the burden of gathering without sacrificing fun. Neglecting family time can result in regret and loneliness, leading to mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. Studies indicate that isolation correlates with physical decline and early mortality.
Children lacking strong family connections face higher risks of drug abuse, antisocial behavior, aggression, and unhealthy relationships. Moreover, diminished family interactions erode values like empathy and understanding. Overall, insufficient family time negatively affects youth development, communication, and overall well-being, underscoring the necessity of prioritizing quality time with loved ones.
📹 Stop Feeling Guilty During Family Time
Are you feeling guilty when you’re supposed to spend time with your kids or your wife or your husband but your thinking about …
I feel ashamed for: 1. Choosing to do things that feel good instead of doing things that are productive. 2. Having a sex drive. 3. Having difficulty paying attention and perform to the level of a typical adult. 4. Thinking about myself and my own thoughts, feelings, wants and needs. 5. Not being someone better. 6. Existing.
Whenever i started to feel sad, anxious, or even panic. This website is always the right place to go to so that i can release all these negative feelings away. Words can never describe how thankful i am to whoever makes this website. You helped me so much! And i want to tell you that please keep going because i know that not also me but there are also lots of people that’s been saved by the articles you make. SO KEEP GOING!! I SUPPORT YOU!!
I only feel guilty when I say “no” to others. I’ve gotten so used to just helping others every time that when i say no it just feels kind of wrong. As for the other ones I don’t the feel at all. I used to but ever since I changed the way I view the world and life this whole thing changed. Like how can you feel guilty for wanting to be happy. That is a necessary thing for everyone. Just be happy and let go of everything that is dragging you down. You owe that to yourself.
Never feel ashamed or feel the need to suppress good things that happen to you or you’ve achieved something great. Yes there are jealous and pretty selfish people out there BUT there are also those who want to celebrate in your successes. To those like this, it feels amazing and somewhat proud to hear when something good has happened when we hear it. win win
It’s not that I feel guilty about any of these… often. But a step I’m willing to take, but most people keep saying I shouldn’t because it’s “wrong”, is once I move out and start on my life. I’m cutting all ties and connections with the people who keep bringing me down and hurt me. I don’t need their negativity. But it’s hard.
I’m still working on a few of those things. Hopefully, as time goes on, I won’t feel guilty about them anymore. My biggest one ties into wanting to be happy. I’ve struggled with toxic situations and mental issues for years and I’m finally starting to get out of them, but I have someone in my life who feels that I should be happy right now, that depression and my other issues aren’t real and I should just snap my fingers and suddenly stop hating myself, but those comments only make it worse. Sometimes I feel guilty for trying, that maybe I’m meant to be sad and nothing else. perusal this article was a good reminder that those thoughts aren’t true. I have a right to be happy without guilt and I have a right to work on that as much as I want. If I keep telling that to myself, hopefully I can slowly feel less guilty about it over time and maybe I can finally find peace.
4:29 Number 7) I want to pursue a relationship, but there are some people “it’s wrong for two guys to marry”. So I can’t have a relationship? Nah!! Absolutely nah!! “There is no shame in wanting what’s best for yourself – even if it sometimes comes at the expense of others’ feelings and convenience.” I needed to hear that. I absolutely needed to hear that. All too often I’m “I need to act like a normal person because it’s wrong to be more than one person.” Then I end up befriending people with my fake side, then leave them because it was all fake. Then they wondering “where you go?” “I LET MYSELF LIE TO YOU FOR YOUR REALITY!!” People are “you can’t be more than one person, that’s just not possible”. First of all no one knows anything absolute about consciousness, so my consciousness existing as it does is just that. I don’t care anymore. I used to worry that I was making myself “not human” by removing some of my insecurities. But quite frankly the most insecure things I’m only aware of. My sexuality. Nobody knows that unless I tell them because everyone assumes queer people are what they see on TV. Yea, I said that generic statement. Nobody knows I’m a multiple and it’s affirmed because I frequently hear “You got a nice personality Izaya”. “Oh do we now? Well it’s because I come here to watch these articles”. And this is something that makes me happy. I am never gonna hold myself back again. I want to live.
Light disperses darkness. After 6 decades of long hikes in some of the darkest carpet of forests where some no many continually dwell in futile shadows without ever seeing any direct sun light or blue sky, I realize I am carrying that so desperately needed light to these dark places… To these lost souls! That is why I am reluctant to “remove or end” as #s suggest to do in life. If not not now when? If not me who? Is there room to say “I am glad I did what I did when I did”? Cause I am sure glad during my 7th decade that those light bearers did not “remove or end” it with me when I got turned around and lost my way! I would of never made it out alive… In a moment of truth I enjoyed you. Wonderful you. James
Thank you so much. You helped me build a better self esteem and your articles gave me much needed support. Topics in your articles helped me get to understand things I am too afraid to talk about. Thank you so so so much. You don’t know how much these articles mean to me. I’m literally crying while writing this. Again, thank you so so much.
I cut off a seriously long friendship with someone today who would use me, I put their messages on the ignore option and prayed they’d let me leave peacefully and had no idea how to deal with it. I felt guilty, alone and I desperately needed some sort of reassurance. Lo and behold this was uploaded, I don’t know if this is a gift from God but I really appreciated and needed this. Thank you.
“you deserve to be a priority in your own life. your wants and needs shouldn’t have to come second to everyone else’s” (3:13). . . “nobody has the right to ask you to prioritize them over yourself” (4:54). . . “there is no shame in wanting what’s best for yourself, even if it sometimes comes at the expense of other’s feelings or convenience” (5:18)
I’m the most nonconfrontational person ever & I always feel kinda guilty whenever I dare to stand up for myself. Even at 33 years old, I still feel like everyone else deserves more than me & if I didn’t force myself every now and then, I’d probably never do it. That happens when you don’t cope with childhood trauma, boys & girls. You’ll end up an anxious, neurotic mess.
All this can be avoided by simply socially isolating yourself. I have had no girlfriend nor friends since 8 August 2000. This has removed an incredible amount of complications and stress from my life. Thed only price is being lonely. But loneliness is a very small price to pay to avoid all the things in a article. In all actuality, contrary to the article, you can do just about everything completely alone. It just takes more time sometimes. You will be astounded just what you can accomplish completely alone.
Number 7! Definitely! I want to be an actor. To say I’m judged for it would be an understatement. I have people that judge me because I do community theatre. They say i should stop because it’s not “Paid acting work.” I have several problems with this! First, how the hell am I going to get paid work if I don’t prove myself worthy by doing community work first? Second, acting to me is not just about the money! While it would be nice to get paid to do something I love for money, I see it as escaping to another world with my friends and letting spectators watch and have a life changing experience! I could go on for hours about why acting makes me happy and I’m sure I’m going to remember more reasons when I’m done here, but when I’m acting, I’m no longer just the quiet kid in the corner, or the guy at my job cleaning in the background, I feel like I actually matter! And there’s the thrill of not knowing who is in the crowd! The monologue you deliver might be the motivational speech someone desperately needed to hear! Finally, the friendships I’ve made doing this work have been wonderful! I am trying to get up to being paid, but for now, I refuse to stop doing what I love because some people tell me to sit around and do nothing and wait for someone to telepathically find out about my acting ability! I decided this several moths ago, and am proud of my decision!
My parents have ALWAYS drilled into me to be perfect and told me to never give up and leave a toxic situation. They said that was a sign of “giving up”. Thus I have been in toxic situations much longer than I should have been in. It was detrimental to my mental health. Leaving a toxic situation is not giving up. It’s surviving and we shouldn’t feel guilty about it.
Sometimes toxic people make you feel guilty about the other topics that you talked about in this article, so I’d say cutting yourself off from those people, no matter if they’re longtime friends, random people you know on the Internet, or SO’s, it’s incredibly important to keep an eye out for toxicity in people. I’ve dealt with this more times than I can count, and honestly I’ve felt so much better about myself each time because I’ve prioritized my own happiness. Sometimes my guilt over cutting certain people off made me feel bad and try and be friends with them again after they would apologize, only for me to say “oh here they go being toxic again” when they repeat the same behaviors I cut them off for,. The moral of that story is this: don’t let those people take advantage of your kindness, no matter what they say or do to make themselves seem different.
I’m Sorry For many years, I carried a deep sense of guilt with me. Which kept shifted, as soon as I apologized to a person for something. I carried the guilt with me and tortured myself for many years. Until I realized, the only person I really needed to apologize to, was myself. I have tortured myself the most. So every day, I apologize to myself, for what I did to myself. This is how I find my innocence; that I once lost, again. And by apologizing to myself, I release my guilt. And so I don’t do anything to others either. Because I am at peace with myself and therefore, with the world. Therefore, if you carry guilt with you, apologize to yourself. Because you can’t torture yourself and apologize to yourself at the same time. Tormenting inflicts sorrow and apologizing takes away sorrow. “Anyway”, is the word that enables me, to apologize to myself. Because I get impulses, to get back in the hamsterwheel of apologizing for certain things or tormenting myself. But I apologize to myself anyway. And I apologize to others, if it is my choice.
One time when i was little, I was telling someone about a hiking trip i went on and how hard it was for me. This guy then turned around and blasted in my face about when he was a Marine and how much harder life was for him. Since then, I’ve always had this feeling of guilt and shame that my feelings will never matter and that i need to get over it because someone else has it harder.
So… what’s happening with me is that, I’ve got a truly good friend. He’s always gone overboard for helping me with a lot of things, and we’ve been amazingly great friends. But since recent times, things have begun to go downhill. Turns out he always saw me more than just a friend and confessed, ah I never really thought of him more than a friend. I like some other guy and he’s been knowing it since the first day of our friendship, and we discussed that guy a lot, just the way you discuss your crush with your friends you know, that way…. We’ve not just been great friends, but also shared I love you’s, the friendly ones yk, at least from my side they were always limited till friendship. So when he confessed and rejected, he said something like “Please take care from next time while talking to a guy.” We had long arguments and after a month, I was so exhausted that I thought of just letting it all go. I want to stay happy and so I just don’t wish to confront him again. He said at the end that “You never really cared for me. I know you don’t care for me.” which is obviously, not true. He’s helped me in the best ways, but I was also the only one who’d stood for him when no one trusted him. I’m not sure if it’s wrong that I now don’t wish to confront him, or if it’s right that I’m just wishing to live my life.
for some reason, i have a guilty pleasure for liking my current favorite game, Danganronpa. apparently, my family thinks that it’s too gory, my brother compares persona to danganronpa and says persona is better, my sister thinks it’s cringy, and i feel guilty for it. that’s why i don’t really mention it. when they do, i keep the topic as short as possible, and i always change the subject very quickly. is that… normal?
1.: seeing people just like the picture you wanted just cause so much jealousy to me.. 2.: i can just search on youtube, it’s not really that hard. 3.: that is my goal, but I don’t think i can achieve it if i keep talking negatively with myself all the time.. 4.: i mean yeah i don’t want any interactions between my classmates, and it’s easy to say yes anyway for me. 5.: i just have 1 friend, maybe my classmates SOMETIMES talk with me, no.. rarely? I will just see them as classmates tho. 6.: no guilt 🙂 but then again i just realized i always take things seriously..? 7.: i mean.. that’s also my goal!
I feel guilty for dragging others down because i struggle with depression. I just want to be left alone but others see me sad and think i want attention. or that i’m selfish for pursuing things that i think would make me happy. or that i’m not trying hard enough to make things better. i hope everyone on here can find solace in these tough times. Thank you @Psych2Go for creating these articles and this community. You’re helping others learn and feel a little less alone.
I used to feel guilty about honing toxic people out of my life, mainly because I remember every time they did actually make me feel better. There’s this girl in my class who is self-ventured, avoids responsibility, a pathological liar and has violent tendencies. I started out as friends with her and she does support me for some things, but she easily talks over and interrupts others, takes everything way too personally and harshly, and lies and exaggerates responses to gain sympathy. Eventually my class grew tired of her, myself included. So after some coercing from another friend, I distanced myself from her; and now I feel a lot better, surrounded by other great friends and even a nice crush. So yeah, letting go was worth it 😀
I have experienced No7 while grieving and I have to say it’s the worst. After you lose someone you love, no matter how much it hurts, you have to continue your life. I remember feeling really guilty because of my family members who decided not to move on with their lives. I was shamed for wearing colourful clothes and doing activities I love. I was smart enough to not stop doing any of these things but it was a burden on me. Nobody should shame anyone (especially a teen or child) for their happiness. Fast forward 6 months later I’m happy and I am not getting affected by anyone’s negativity.
When I was in primary school back in the late 1980s, the teachers had this toxic way (in my school at least) of encouraging us for asking help, but then being angry when we did. How’s that for a double bind. I am almost 40 and it still haunts me, and while I am in no position to diagnose anyone, least of all myself, I feel that poisonous pedagogy played a part in my developing anxiety and depression as an adult.
I’ve always been antagonized for everything in my family whether it have been my fault or not, or whether it was even a bad thing or not. And i did things to please other people until i realized how unhealthy that was, so i started to try and pay attention to my own mental health but then my parents called me a selfish narcissist who only cares about myself and does nothing to help others, and they always assume the worst in me as well, they guilt tripped me into doing more things for them again and any time i denied anything they would either say that i dont love them, punish me, or threaten to shave my head, constantly, i even flat out call out their manipulative tactics and yet they ignore me and continue on.. and they are confused when i don’t spend time with them.
The point about the toxic relationship is really true. It may feel bad at first but you soon notice that you will be far more productive than ever. I cut ties to my best friend who I’ve been with basically my whole life because he always just kept bringing me down and was a drama queen as shown in the vid. Its been one year now and I’ve made huge progress mentally as well as in my life in general. You earn much more than you lose 🙂
Today I came from a Sciences exam, I have studied 5 hours a day from the weekend. I didn’t finish an exercise, so, I asked my friend “Hey, did you finish the exercise about bones?” But my parents heard me, they started shouting at me and telling me I was throwing away my life, that I won’t have a future ever, and even, that I will be poor in a future. I started crying, you must think this is such a stupid reason but I’m 11 years old, and I can’t remember 50 bones in just a weekend.
I’m about to learn to say “No”. It’s very difficult since my parents would often guilt Trip me for Not doing things with them/ Not listening to their stories/ not helping them. I’ve Always been there for them and even if I know today that this wasn’t how it is supposed to be, I still have a hard time saying “No” to people. The closer they are, the more difficult it gets. I guess I still have to learn a Lot. Thank you!
Number 5 & 6 go hand in hand for me. About a year ago I cut ties with my best friend of 6 years which is honestly one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever had to make considering the time we spent together. Sadly I knew I was being exploited most of the time, I just never acted upon it and for a long time after cutting ties I’ve argued with myself over whether I made the right decision while only looking at the good times. Everyone else around me however wondered how I never cut them off sooner. With a balanced view looking back I know I did the right thing for myself and probably both of us in the long run. I think the truth of the matter is I truly did want the best for them and wanted to look after them. However, they became careless in covering up their lies, and deliberately started keeping me at arms length unless they needed something from me that someone else they put first wasn’t willing to give them. I didn’t matter anymore to them and that still hurts, but I know I’m stronger now.
You should never feel guilty for being sexually assaulted. When I was probably 4 or 6 one of my uncles harassed me ( not exactly rape but still sexual assault) and I didn’t complain to my mom.. he would often do it when no one was around and once my mom saw him doing stuff with me …my mom scolded me for not telling her and told to me that I am a nasty kid and said that I enjoyed it. This thing stuck with me for my entire life ..I always blamed myself for that but now I realise it wasn’t my fault.. I was a kid and didn’t know how to react.
I could really relate to the first one. I am a perfectionist, and I feel guilty over small things, in my head I say I’ve made a loved one incredibly sad, or hate themselves, which makes me feel awful. But in reality, they only cared for a moment because it wasn’t a big deal. I exaggerate things in my head and feel like I deserve punishment, but this article and ones similar to it me realize I cant control the little failures in life. And I need to stop thinking about them, and move on.
Most of the time, I feel guilty about doing something that’s relaxing or just some entertainment… I’m a procrastination champion and that’s why whenever I can’t complete my work due to huge amount of resistance, I feel guilty for perusal movies or web series thinking that it’s just wastage of time.
Recently, I felt like every time I talk with this friend of mine, she would only open up about her drama. No, it’s usually like that. Convo = dramas. I understand her feeling though, but I started feeling tired of the same old drama she’s been telling me. I came across one of your articles and I realized that it is okay to cut off dramas from people around you when it’s being too much. Before, I really had no idea about it but thanks to this website I learned that I must take care of my well-being too. Really big thanks to you! I am rooting for Psycho2Go!!
I have felt an immense sense of guilt ever since I was a child. I remember lying in bed as a six year old counting on my fingers all the bad things I did and which of them had been punished for and which of them I would have to punish myself for. One of them was perusal the s*x scene in the movie titanic with my cousin on my grandmas VHS player on Easter. I remember crying in my bed at how bad I was. This has been an ongoing theme in my life of lying awake at night talking down to myself wishing I was better.
I feel guilty whenever my parents give me something and on my birthday and Christmas because I know it costs so much money and I feel guilty for having so much when other people don’t have enough and I feel guilty for how other people are constantly doing things for me but I just don’t know how to do things for them because I find saying anything personal really hard, giving compliments on things that are more than just “I like your hair”. Thank you for this article it really helped
Conditioned by abuse, blown to pieces for making a mistake, shamed pay a heavy price, just for asking for help, being joyful, being genuine…Brings on the nasty insidiousness, undermining… You can be aware, know how wrong it is, don’t go along, don’t give them the power, it still impacts the brain and impairs the moment and the future.
I remember when my friend invited me to his wedding that took place in another country. I really do not like weddings and parties, so i didnt feel like going to another country for one. So i kindly refused his invitation. A few people made me feel guilty about it, asked me why didnt i wanna go, how my friends wanted me to show up. I understand he wanted me to come and i was grateful but then i started to feel guilty about not liking parties, weddings and all that stuff, took me a while to realize that i shouldnt.
The thing here is, we know exactly how emotionally exhausting it must be for people who we are asking help from. We understand that at some point, we may come off as toxic. I had to learn this the hard way. I lost all of my friends because I became so toxic to them. I was told it is okay to reach out and ask for help. Every time I refuse to ask for help, they would say “just reach out”. I guess I asked for help way too much and they got tired. And I was at my lowest point, I didn’t know what else to do. I had nothing to distract me from thinking about killing myself and actually attempting to do it. Maybe we should learn that not all the time, there is someone out there who’s willing to listen bec we’re all emotionally exhausted. It’s not always the uwu im here for u bb and ur not alone kind of stuff. Now I’m having a hard time opening up to people and it has been more than a year since I shared my thoughts with someone bec I’m afraid that they’d think I’m a burden. Idk i just can’t ask for help without me thinking that I’m a burden every time, that listening to me is so so exhausting.
I feel guilty for what happened in Afghanistan last year. I had volunteered to be on one of the deployments to the area around that time, but I never really got my foot in the door due to having just returned from a different deployment. I know cognitively that there was nothing I could do to stop the deaths of those that wore the same uniform that I do. My presence there wouldn’t have changed anything, as did my absence. I don’t know why I’ve put this guilt on myself, but I can’t shake the thought that I would and should have taken the place of even one of them. I think about this every day, and I don’t know if I’ll ever stop.
Feeling guilty for happy applies when a person is trauma bonded to another. I had to research and apply psychology to random anthropology. I call it anthropology because they/I, have to accept inner self critic, then hug that aspect until my inner critic ceases My accomplishment aren’t important because they are from a era when it’s just not important.
I am naturally a nice person. I genuinely see good and everyone. I also enjoy making people happy. I often complement everyone on something positive that stands out to me. The problem with this is, although women appreciate it and simply thank me. Men very often misinterpret this and believe that I’m interested in them. I then feel absolutely horrible for hurting them. my friends keep telling me that I have to stop being so nice. it just seems unfair that I have to consciously think about everything I do or say. I would just like to be myself, just like everyone else gets to be themselves. I feel like it’s hypocritical that it is considered socially acceptable to be rude. Yet, it’s a problem to be polite. I could see if I was flirting, or saying things that could be interpreted as romantic. Yet I say things like, they are cool sunglasses, or even something like, your wife is unbelievably beautiful. It’s not like I’m grabbing their arms and saying, your body is amazing. lol. I don’t know what to do. It’s a catch 22.
I don’t agree with 3 and it’s honestly ruining my life. Being successful and being proud of my goals brings me A MASSIVE AMOUNT of guilt. No matter how good I make life for myself, millions of INNOCENT people around the world are getting FUCKED and having everything they worked for taken from them. Or they had no chance from the start
I’m the type of person who will tell myslef things like; “I’m not good enough”,` “I wasn’t productive enough today,” “I did get an ideal grade I should have worked longer,” “Why can’t I be like (insert name here).” One of the hardest parts for me is telling friends and family I usually make sarcastic jokes that make it look like I don’t care even though I really do.
Overcome yourself: Don’t fight anxiety and pain. 174 hz Define your fear and release it. 285 hz Admit what you blame yourself for and forgive yourself. 396 hz Acknowledge your failures and accept they are apart of you. 417 hz Consider your losses and open yourself to change. 528 hz Reveal what you deny and embrace the truth. 639 hz Ask yourself what you think is divided and see that nothing is separate. Make connections. 741 hz Appreciate everything in your life that is material (persons, places, things) then forget that they are yours. Let go. 852 hz. Accept oneness and become whole. 963 hz Rinse and repeat every time you feel icky or anxious. Sometimes it only takes a few minutes. Sometimes it can take a week or more. But we are all on a different journey so it’s okay. I recommend binaural frequencies and quiet, but all that’s necessary is your body and mind.
I feel guilty for being happy. When all my friends are saying they’re depressed, and the entire internet is talking about how sad or depressed they are, and how awful their lives are, I just feel like I should have an awful life too. I’ve never been harrased, my parents accept me and my passions and help me persue them and grow, I’m a good student, I have a small group of friends, an awesome bf, and i’m just generally content with my life. And I don’t relate to any of the “gifted kid burnout” stuff, even though i feel like i should. I just fell like my life should be worse.
I feel horrible for getting after my nephews.. They do things that get under my skin, but they’re still kids. My nephew Wallace stomped towards the bathroom to brush his teeth, not the first time after being scolded for fighting with his cousin, and I got angry and yelled at him. Scared him. I felt horrible when I saw his eyes and immediately just had to apologize. A sensitive kid, still learning, but I shouldn’t have screamed at him. He has another uncle but due to a fight we got into, he isn’t in the picture.. Almost afraid I’m becoming my brother; angry and bitter.
I just left a relationship where the other person’s mental health was effecting mine. He has a lot of baggage and I tried my best to handle it and help, but it never got me anywhere other than hurting every time he was down since I’m an empath and take on other people’s emotions. I feel awful for ending things over something that technically isn’t his fault, but I did my best and my own mental health was taking hits because of it, so I knew what I had to do even if I didn’t want to, and still feel bad for it. But this article made me feel a bit better.
i always feel guil about my life was a little better than others You know its kinda good to hear being successful or having not very awful life is okay ( i mean i had painful situation but after all im okay while some people i know are still miserable i lost my mother two years ago and i didn’t really grief for that because i feel I don’t have any right to grief while some people dealing with something more worse than me or while i can do my hobbies like reading books or perusal series while some people doesn’t have any peace)
the think about this… is that I know I have to prioritize other people. If life is like a movie, I’m a supporting character, someone to protect and help the main character but not themselves. I don’t know why but I just know I am, and my whole life I can only help people with their greatest accomplishments, instead of my own. But honestly, I’ve made peace with it by now. I just can’t do anything worthwhile so I may as well help the people who can. Please know I’m not begging for attention, I just want to say how I feel to random people on the internet because I can’t open up to anyone else in my life, if it feels like I’m just being too touchy feely or full of drama it’s probably because I am, and you can just disregard this comment.
There’s once I had a best friend during my university life… We once close and healthy relationship. But as days gone by, I realized he keep emotionally making fun of me. At first, I was sad and denial on our relationship status. It took a long time for me to accept and ended our relationship, despite of he been good with others. #selfcare
This is a great article it took me a long time to understand that my wants and my needs are important some of the best advice I think I ever got was sometimes the best way to deal with a problem is to remove yourself from the situation I’ve always kept that in front of my mind and used it when I need to
If you wanting to be happy and it’s by harming other people then i pray you should never be, not being perfect no one’s perfect we should stop being guilty then that egotistical and disgusting we have to apologize and feel vad when we do something wrong to each other and forgive that is how a healthy relationship is if not no one will associate with you don’t blame them no one wants a self centered person think before you do something can i take this thing if you think because no one’s perfect we should not feel guilty then no one’s gonna apologize for anything because the only reason we apologize is to tell the person we’re not perfect may god bless us all.
I’m currently being asked to go on holiday with my family to foreign countries, they have plenary of times but I never have. My anxiety about it is going through the room and my father wants me to go and he seems excited but I know if I go I will be miserable. Also this year I’ve done a lot and rather significant turning points and only one significant turning point is coming up for another family member and it seems that all the attention is on them. With all these things adding up it seems like the 3 weeks of this is all about them and not about me apart from one little activity that interests me. I do have the option to stay with a relative but now I feel really guilty and like crying that I don’t give them what they want and let them down but if I do go I won’t be happy and feel quite alone.
@Psych2Go “FREEDOM TO NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THESE 7 THINGS” would be a more inviting title since people who struggle with shame would likely see the word “should” as further activating yet these people would benefit from seeing this article since guilt and shame are closely linked and the more education we can all get on it the better. Thanks for the great work!
Thank you so much! Story: so today at PE we were all in groups. And my whole group was gossiping about me because I could not run. So my group was being mean to me and punching me. So I told my BFF i hated my group and I guess that this girl in my group was behind me. And now they talked to the principal and teacher. I’m really scared for tomorrow.
Don’t have any remorse To the people that you’ve confronted About The things they’re doing to you, as long as you weren’t rude, You knew what you said to them, U have every single little detail. There’s no Need to feel guilty since you know that You Were never Rude.. And also if she points fingers at you and blaming you for what he/she did.. Don’t feel nervous, guilty As long as you know the details You’re not gonna get blamed. Don’t feel guilty for something you Didn’t do.. Be confident and Don’t feel any guilt
whenever i take a few days off school whether it’s bcuz my physical or mental health, my mom finds a way to make me feel guilty about it. i’ve been struggling with my mental health for a while but haven’t told anyone even tho i’d like to think that i make it pretty obvious, school just drains everything out of me and i absolutely despise going there.
I feel guilty for more and more things which i believe i should be feeling guilty..i used to steal clothes from my cousins closet..i was rebel to my grandmother with whom i spent my teenage years in our home..i felt envy and jealous to my friends’ successes..even once i stole one of my friends’ notes the day before exam..i know all these are unforgivable and unreasonable..but i cant help my nasty teenage self now..now im in my twenties and this is the first time i am sharing these to someone other than myself..i dont know why iam doing this now..so im here..having consumed by tons of guilt as an everyday dose..i know there would be only hatred for me..no matter..i deserve it..but as of now i feel some relief
I feel guilty because a lot people around me (Classmates/friends/people my age on the internet) seems to have problems (grades/lifestyle/mental illness), but I don’t (at least I don’t think I have). I actually feel happy about my life and “normal.” To me, I sound like I’m perfect, definitely not true. I feel guilty cause everyone around me are usually negative and say negative things, but I’m positive. There’s this one time when one of my friends told me that I was “too positive to understand.” If you’re someone like me going through this, just remember that it’s amazing to be positive, and please don’t become negative just because of everyone else. Thanks for reading my very long text (if you see this), if you relate then I’m soo happy to know I’m not alone. 😊
I’m always feeling guilty for not being good enough, not have a better job, not get a higher result, not being perfect. I don’t allow myself a chance for a rest. Life is always like a race. That’s sad. I’m young and need to learn a lot. At the end of the day, you know that no matter how perfect you think you do a job, tomorrow you’re set to do it better. So why let’s just call it a day and try harder tomorrow?
I honestly feel more guilty by the fact that I’m really sensitive and everyone tells me to be more mentally tougher but I can’t. I feel like as someone who’s meant to be the oldest sibling I have to be mentally tough but I know in the inside I’m just really soft and I’m too scared of crying in front of everyone because it makes me feel like I’ve failed at being mentally tough.
I feel extreme guilt when talking to my friends. I feel like I force friendship on them. I don’t understand why someone would want to be friends with me. I feel like my personality is terrible and can’t even look at myself in the mirror. I feel guilty when I talk to my friends about a problem with my mental health. I don’t want my friends to think I’m someone who makes things up for attention. I feel bad for my friends with I talk to them. When I wake up and look in the mirror I can’t take it and feel bad that my friends have to look at me all day and deal with me.
What about when you feel an immense guilt for having something that your family members could have had if their circumstances were different? It feels like we’re all given a role in a family and sometimes other family members have to sacrifice so much with things that you don’t even have to worry about. You can also see how it takes a toll on them and it makes you feel guilty because why do the people you love have to struggle when you don’t (for certain things). Then you start to feel guilty for being happy and confident, almost like you’re rubbing it in their face for not being able to have that. My heart is so heavy for them all the time and I feel like I constantly have to tone my achievements down around them so I don’t make them feel bad.
I felt guilty because in school a teacher asked me to read something out because the person really didn’t want to but i didn’t want to read anything out either and I was really sad and scared about it and said no. I felt like I was just making it about me as I cried, I still feel bad about it to this day.
No one is making me feel guilty It is just me, I feel guilty for everything like eating when I get home after eating nearly nothing before and during school, or when people reward me for doing something good, that is why I always say thank you and hold the door open, but then people reward me for doing nice things and I end up feeling guilty because of it even if I deserve it (which most of the time I do) The first instance I can remember of me feeling irrationally guilty was in primary school, that is when I realized that when I am upset I like being left alone because when people try to help it makes me feel more upset cause deep down I feel like I am not worth there time and that if someone tries to help it would just be making another person have to deal with what I am going through I don’t like causing harm to others and when I do by accident all I can think about for a while is just how I could have affected them, I just dont want people to spend there time caring for me when they can be doing what they want, it makes me feel bad just for being upset, same with being ill.
Story time : when I was 7 I broke my first doll’s leg,I tried to fix her multiple times but I couldn’t. A few years later I found her and I thought since I wouldn’t see her ever again for a while I could just mess her up even more …so I cut her hair.I feel guilty because she was my first doll,my best friend,and was always there for me as a child and threw my trams,and i wish I could have been more careful with her and now I feel guilty because I kept messing her up .
WIthout your articles I wouldnt have found out just how toxic my dad really was in my life… Like I did know that my parents did me wrong(since a year…a painfull year…), but he is like major toxic influence on me and my mother(especially on her right now.. thanks life-giver). Atleast I am getting better mentally now, one day I get a psychologist and then we can fight whatever else is hiding in my head and is doing bad things up there. I just wish I could have opened his mind with my words… atleast my mother understood that she did something wrong and is now trying her best to do it right(and I love her for that). And both of them are probably going to break up and me and my mon have to move out. So thats nice, thanks life-giver to give me another reason to have stress. Not like I have school or anything, pfff.
I talked to a person who my sister told me kept shouting at her in football I wasn’t trying to be mean I just wanted it to get sorted out. Little did I know this kid was the captain of the team and I explained to my sister about them telling you what you’ve got to do. I still feel bad for the kid who I blamed and was angry for for no reason
i feel really guilty when i accomplish something i am so proud of. i rarely even share it, because i might be called insensitive if the person i’m sharing to didn’t achieve the same things. i also don’t share it willingly if asked (like ‘what’s your score?’) i always say to myself i shouldn’t be sorry for this because it’s my effort after all… and i’m not trying to bring anyone down. but, yeah there’s the anxiety
I feel guilty when i say no to others😟 like when my seatmate want to borrow my pen but i dont want her to borrow it because i just bought it but i cant say no..And When my sister borrow my clothes i cant say no because i dont want to start a fight between us😔 Also.. From removing my self at toxic people or situations because i dont want them to feel alone😕 like im sleepy but when they have problems they will talk and talk about it but i dont know how to get out on that situation im introvert so i really hate to listen to their rants about life etch like seriously? But i dont want to say it to them well yes im harsh but i know when will i shut up or when they feel so down and need accompany
After being a toxic person I feel like all these self help articles exist for everyone but me and that I don’t deserve to live a good life. The guilt and shame of lashing out at my loved ones physically, emotionally and verbally, regardless of the context, is slowly killing me. I want to be a good friend and partner and know that I can now but with the history I have I don’t know how I can muster up the strength to continue.
Edit: Crazy person, long rant after 7. 1. Stealing that candy bar from your younger sister. 2. Giving your nephew a Gamestop card that said $200 when it was really $3.50. 3. Calling in sick to work. 4. Being an alcoholic. 5. Cheating (Not relationship, that is absolutely a guilt thing), we are all humans and we all have can’t be that good at life. 6. Being a completely hopeless person who is hollowed inside. (Probably explains an actors medicine cabinet) 7. Being an alcoholic. I cannot stress this enough because it makes me fee- us- US feel better about ourselves. As a whole. Seriously though? Only guilt that should matter to you is your own. I mean you have to live with your thoughts and choices and if you feel guilt or none at all is simply a matter of if you care about your standing in society. Because if you can live with your guilt but others can’t then it is on you and just ignore them then you have truly found yourself, do you need work? Who is to say but you. If you do care what others think and adjust your ways and lifestyle to fit in could you ever be you? when is the end of the line? Is it better to care or not care what people think? Stop looking for answers and just think about it REALLY hard. I mean before you sleep reflect on the day until you cannot keep your eyes open. Figure yourself out and questioning whether you should feel guilt or not about anything will be as simple as a laugh.
I feel the more guilty about asking for help or saying no when needed. I never ask for help and when I do, it’s usually rare. I grew up like that, not asking for anyone’s help, doing things on my own for myself, why? Because I am scared of rejection, and being a burden on someone. It got to the point where. When I burnt my fingers a few weeks ago, I needed help with some things because I couldn’t do much with one hand. I would take forever to just tell my mum “can you please help me?”. I am too silent, my parents always tell me “why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped” Or “I am here, you could’ve asked for help” But I just can’t! I feel guilty when I tell someone “no” I sometimes don’t even say “no” Even if I want to, because I don’t want to upset anyone. I don’t know what to do with myself! I am writing this comment to just let it out of my chest. Sorry for annoying any of you
I usually felt guilty for not doing tasks.. i actually have “alot” to do but i guess i’m just being a drama queen and only wanted attention.. 😞🤔 I also felt guilty when some people is frustrated and that i’m kind of involved to it.. And i felt guilty when i forgot to do something and in my mind i said “Are you serious?! It was just ONE task.. why can’t you be more independent and respectful? Now they’re panicing because of you..” Wait- should i be guilty about those or not?
I usually feel guilty for relaxing. A lot of my family members seem to think that a person’s self worth should be determined by their job and economic status, and if somebody is not making a lot of money or has mental or emotional distress that prevents them from working, that they are a detriment and should feel bad for being lazy. Due to this, I routinely have a problem with ever relaxing. It feels like every single waking moment of my life needs to be spent on attempting to get a higher level career and making a ton of money, otherwise I am worthless and nothing I do will matter because I will have nothing left to leave behind for future generations. Many people have told me that my family has a lot of old-fashioned and toxic mentalities, and while that is indeed true, it is a lot more difficult to break them than many people realize. When something is stuck with you ever since your childhood you tend to internalize it almost as if it was a gospel, and try as you might sometimes it feels near impossible to shake.
Well…. I love my mom but nowadays I feel tired even beaing near her …..if I don’t do things they way she wants to …she gets mad .it’s my fault since I too tantrums but the times I’m tired of her sarcasm I feel demotivated when I’m near her more at times,when I want sum fresh air she calls when I take too long being on the roof and gets mad for not being in the room …I’m just tired of seeing the same room, book, faces and I want to see the sun and some fresh air …. I feel bad and unsecured when she scolds me I don’t feel the urge of doing my best at all …I can’t expressed my emotions ….she is kind but her temper doesn’t really make me feel loved …here I said it,I hope I can say it her too cuz it’s killing me
You should never feel guilty for: Your natural desires and interests. You should never feel guilty for: Being who you naturally want to be. *These are two of the main things*. ———————- People have often told me not to be my natural self. To not do things that I naturally enjoy doing. And when I am fully and completely myself, they will tell me to “stop doing that”. Or when very open and honest, they tell me “that is not the real you”. The only solution is to accept who you are. Live your daily life as you want. Enjoy the pleasures which naturally make you happy. And ignore what others say. Easy enough to say….hard sometimes to do
I feel guilty for being socially awkward and preferring to stay alone whenever someone pushes me to talk to someone I don’t know. I just want to stay in my bed instead of socializing. Then I start blaming myself because I’m pushing everyone away and that I’m supposed to be out there talking and laughing with them but none of that sounds appealing at all and and the cycle just keeps repeating
I know im not perfect but i commited so many mistakes in my life that is unbearable, when i’m starting feeling a little joy i immediatly feel guilt because of that, my own mind is telling me that i don’t deserve happiness and that everything bad that happens to me i deserve it, why can’t i never have some relief in my life? Why i can’t never feel happy? Why is everything my fault? I’m so sorry for being that way
I honestly need advice for this: I feel guilty because I made an online friend uncomfortable and apologized on two different occasions, and it is still eating me alive and making me constantly anxious because them another friend have been picking at me ever since they both confronted me about making them uncomfortable. They’ve talked about me on their story, dmed me on two different accounts (both of which I have restricted from my profile and hid my story from) and after I did that to the friend, in a group chat I’m in with them, they brought it up. Every time I open up Instagram I get an immediate feeling of anxiousness even though I was the one in the wrong. I keep messing up and that’s my fault but is it selfish of me to think they’re overstepping? They do this with other people (making fun of people on their story who have done wrong) but it makes me think, have i done something so bad that picking at me is justified? All I remember doing is I used to be like “omg haha youre 12” to the online friends who are younger than me, and they’ve stated that me bringing up how old they were made them uncomfortable so I told them I would never do that again and that I was incredibly sorry. It makes me feel like I can’t feel bad because I deserve for them to act like this toward me but I don’t know. I made a mistake and I apologized but I don’t know if I should deal with the anxiety of their words because of what I did.
I can just say right now that the only thing I’m truly guilty about is that I bothered my best friend in the world too much and I came off as a creep, she was my longest lasting friend and I know what I did wrong and I’ve wanted to apologize for months. But she doesn’t want to say a thing to me, i just wish I wasn’t a catalyst towards bad things in my own life.
I feel guilty for every damn thing i do i am just so tired of it. It hurts that i feel guilty for being happy. It is hard dealing with social anxiety and introversion at the same time. I am tired of being the least liked one in my group of friends and at home the only place i can breath, my parents constantly compare me to others. Sometimes it feels like others just forget that iam only a human. That i have feelings too it hurts so much and i am just so tired i dont know how long i can last
1: I have yet to have any employer that doesn’t demand constant perfection. 2: If you have to ask for help, you shouldn’t be doing what you are doing. 3: Not a possibility so I’m clear of this one. 4: Say no and not one will be on your side when you need them. 5:: Not an option. I have to earn a paycheck and going elsewhere isn’t even a vague possibility. 6: Same answer. 7: Also not a possibility in my lifetime.
Sometimes when my friends say the wrong thing, I feel like the online hate I got in the past and hopefully it won’t come back, I feel like I deserve it, even though I’m trying my best to keep everyone happy I find it impossible and I’m useless for it. And just now I won a match over my bff and I think she’s angry bc she didnt say goodbye when I had to leave, so I searched for this article, and I shouldn’t feel guilty about it, all I can tell her is better luck next time.
Today i was perusal a psychological thriller movie, GLASS… Its been years since my last epileptic episode….im handling myself really well, being in a toxic family n situation. Bt today i heard tht my father said my rebel behavior and talking for me against thm is a result of these movies… My mum said thy have to tc of me take to hospital and thn after tht 10 days thy have to tc of my bitter behavior and rudeness because of the episode again….. So for the sake of thm i shudnt watch anything like tht sleep at 8, leave the devices and basically move the way they want, so tht i remain healthy, no episodes no tc problem and no rebel attitude…… Bt the toxic and mental stress situation in home won’t change ever…. 😊
As a mom I feel guilt for a LOT of these things because society tells us that once you become a mom, your happiness doesn’t matter anymore, ONLY the happiness of your family. They lie and say that if your family is happy, then that means you will be happy! And that’s not true, because my family is generally happy, while I am not, because I feel like MY life doesn’t really matter much anymore because after taking care of my family (which should be all I need to be happy right!?) I have no time or energy to take care of myself and my life, what makes ME happy. So I suppose you only get the opportunity to live a guilt-free life (for things you shouldn’t feel guilty for) if you’re not a mom (according to society)???
Feel guilty about being sad sometimes because I know some people have it worse and if I opened up that my problems won’t be as bad as I think they are and I feel like that will make my struggles less valid. I also feel guilty because sometimes I don’t want to get better because I feel like my past problems will have been stupid and not worth crying over them.
She came to me in the sleeping hours And she sang to me in the moonlight: “Where did you dance when you baffled our chance, And when did the motley bells chime?” I summoned a verse from a chorus of blame, But it drowned in the ghost of her song. He came to me in the sleeping hours And he called to me in the moonlight: “Why does the fold now weep to behold, And how does it feel to be free?” I tendered the words from the tears of the same, But they dried as the dawn came upon. They came to me in the sleeping hours And they whispered to me in the moonlight: “What did you reap when you floated the keep, And whom did you trust with the key?” I buried my head in a cushion of shame – And I woke to find them all gone.