If Your Parents Don’T Help You, Is That Abuse?

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Child abuse or neglect can be defined as any behavior that causes a child to experience emotional distress, harms their sense of self-worth, and affects their emotional well-being. Emotional abuse, also known as psychological abuse, is a pattern of behavior perpetuated by a parent that causes a child to experience emotional distress, harms their sense of self-worth, and affects their emotional well-being. Growing up with toxic parents can leave deep scars, affecting both physical and mental health.

Emotional abuse from parents can take many forms, including verbal abuse, constant rejection or neglect, isolation, manipulation and control, excessive expectations or pressure, and more. To become emotionally neglectful, parents only need to grow up in a family that doesn’t understand the importance of feelings and emotional support.

Emotional abuse can take many forms, from outright neglect to subtle emotional manipulation. Criticism is another common sign of emotional abuse from parents. Emotional abuse involves attempts to frighten, control, or isolate the child, and it doesn’t involve physical violence, though it might involve threats of violence directed.

Not all abusive parents or guardians intentionally harm their children. Many have been victims of abuse themselves and don’t know any other way. District law defines child abuse as putting a child in a dangerous situation. The Administration for Children’s Services (ACS) has produced Information for Parents and Caregivers to ensure the safety and well-being of New York City’s children.

A growing movement to destigmatize going “no contact” with one’s relatives is growing, as it is legally emancipated from parents and no longer has any parental authority over the child. To protect children from toxic behavior, it is essential to learn the signs of toxic behavior in parents and how to safeguard them.

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📹 Don’t let a parent abuse you! – Mufti Menk

BEWARE OF SCAMMERS WHO OPERATE IN THE COMMENTS SECTION PRETENDING TO BE MUFTI MENK! DO NOT …


What To Do If Your Family Is Emotionally Abusive
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What To Do If Your Family Is Emotionally Abusive?

If you are experiencing verbal or emotional abuse, it is vital to create a safe space in your home or at a friend’s place to distance yourself from the harmful behavior. Establish healthy boundaries with family members by using both verbal and non-verbal cues, like leaving the room during abusive interactions. Emotional abuse, which may occur in various relationships, is predominantly characterized by non-physical acts that damage mental well-being.

Recognizing signs such as yelling, isolation, or attempts to control your actions and choices is crucial in identifying emotional abuse. The impact can be particularly damaging to children, leading to long-lasting emotional scars. Consider engaging in self-care practices like journaling or meditation, and seek support through counseling or conversations with trusted individuals. Setting clear boundaries with consequences is essential; if they are chronic offenders, cutting ties may be necessary for your well-being.

Acknowledging the abuse and committing to your recovery are vital first steps in the healing process. Ultimately, it’s important to realize you deserve supportive relationships and that emotional abuse is unacceptable.

What Is Adolescent To Parent Violence And Abuse
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What Is Adolescent To Parent Violence And Abuse?

Child and Adolescent to Parent Violence and Abuse (CAPVA) refers to repeated abusive behavior by a young person aged 8 to 18 towards their parent or primary caregiver. This evolving field highlights various forms of abuse, including physical violence, emotional harm, and financial coercion. CAPVA represents a dynamic where adolescents utilize control and intimidation against their parents, jeopardizing family safety.

The terminology encompasses both Child-to-Parent Violence (CPV) and Adolescent-to-Parent Violence and Abuse (APVA), where young individuals employ aggressive behaviors to dominate or manipulate their caregivers.

Research into CAPVA is relatively recent but growing, revealing patterns that often go unnoticed until serious issues arise. Many affected parents struggle with feelings of shame and denial, making it difficult to acknowledge their child's harmful behaviors. The dynamics of parental victimization can result in psychological distress for both parties involved, ultimately leading to maladjustment in adolescents.

While the concept lacks a formal definition, CAPVA encompasses a spectrum of aggression, coercion, and controlling behaviors inflicted by children upon their parents. Importantly, incidents of CAPVA align with broader definitions of domestic violence as outlined in legal frameworks, which recognize various forms of abusive conduct, including physical and emotional threats.

Are Your Parents Abusing You
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Are Your Parents Abusing You?

Your parents may be abusive if you experience feelings of fear, discomfort in expressing yourself, or neglect. It can be challenging to pinpoint neglect without comparison to other caregivers. Understanding if parents are abusive or if you are overreacting begins with reflection on your feelings and experiences. Fear of parents, lack of respect for your opinions, and emotional invalidation are signs to consider. Physical abuse, including hitting or choking, is a clear indicator of an abusive environment.

Emotional abuse, often more subtle, may manifest through feelings of unworthiness, overachieving for validation, or constant criticism. If you suspect abuse, confiding in a trusted adult, like a teacher or friend's parent, is crucial. Recognize that emotional abuse is not your fault, and setting boundaries is vital for your well-being. The impact of such abuse can lead to low self-esteem and emotional struggles. While physical abuse might be more noticeable, emotional abuse by parents is prevalent and can be equally damaging.

Healing is possible, and seeking support is essential—no one should feel unsafe in their home. Understanding the signs is the first step toward addressing these experiences and finding paths to recovery.

What Is Parental Abuse
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What Is Parental Abuse?

Parental abuse involves children, often teenagers, exhibiting harmful or violent behavior towards their parents. This can range from a single incident to frequent occurrences and includes various forms such as physical, emotional, and verbal abuse. Recognizing the signs and understanding the impacts of this form of domestic violence is crucial for awareness and healing. Child abuse encompasses any physical, emotional, or sexual harm done to a child, either through action or neglect.

Child-to-parent violence (CPV) refers specifically to minors (under 18) or young adults (18-25) abusing their parents in various ways, including verbal attacks, property damage, or financial control. Abuse arises when a child's basic needs, such as safety and care, are not met. The issue is complex, as many parents may struggle to acknowledge their child's abusive behavior due to feelings of shame or disappointment. Raising awareness about parental abuse is vital for fostering healthy relationships and addressing this often-hidden issue in families across cultures and socioeconomic backgrounds.

What To Do When Your Parents Hurt You Emotionally
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What To Do When Your Parents Hurt You Emotionally?

When dealing with emotionally neglectful or abusive parents, it's essential to validate your own experiences and emotions while seeking empathy and care from yourself. If your parents are responsible for your hurt, a sincere apology, followed by constructive adjustments in their parenting, can help. It's crucial to focus on your feelings, needs, and desires rather than trying to change your parents. If you recognize that you lack emotional support, establish boundaries to protect yourself and seek assistance from a trustworthy person.

Childhood emotional neglect can lead to significant challenges in adulthood, making it hard to feel love toward your parents. Resources are available for those who have experienced emotional abuse. Identifying toxic behaviors in your parents can facilitate coping strategies, including setting firm boundaries and engaging in self-care. The journey involves acknowledging your past, having compassion for yourself, and realizing that change begins with your perspective and self-forgiveness.

By communicating openly about your feelings, you can foster healing and improve your relationship with your parents, recognizing their potential reactions while prioritizing your emotional well-being.

What Is Childhood Trauma In Adolescence
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What Is Childhood Trauma In Adolescence?

Trauma exposure is prevalent among children and adolescents, leading to various emotional and behavioral issues such as depression, anxiety, delinquency, substance abuse, and PTSD. Traumatic experiences overwhelm a child’s ability to cope, often resulting from violent events like abuse or neglect. Data shows that many young individuals, aged 12 to 17, encounter multiple traumatic events, with a significant prevalence of PTSD, particularly among girls. Discussions around adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) highlight the severe impact of such experiences on mental health.

Childhood and adolescence are critical periods for emotional, psychological, and physical development, making trauma responses particularly concerning. Common reactions to trauma in youth include intense emotions such as sadness, anger, anxiety, and guilt, often leading to behavioral problems. Traumatic stress elicits feelings of fear and helplessness, significantly affecting a youth's well-being and interaction with others.

It is essential for family, friends, and trusted adults to provide support for youth coping with trauma. Although trauma can have pervasive effects, there is hope for recovery, as children can heal from such experiences with appropriate care and intervention. Understanding how to respond to trauma is crucial for fostering resilience in affected youth.

How To Prove Emotional Abuse
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How To Prove Emotional Abuse?

Proving emotional abuse, particularly in custody disputes, involves gathering substantial evidence. Key steps include tracking communications with an ex-partner, collecting eyewitness accounts, and obtaining medical or psychiatric records. It’s vital to have documented examples of emotional abuse, such as abusive texts or emails. Emotional abuse can severely impact individuals of all ages, leading to issues like depression or self-harm. Although it may leave no visible scars, its effects can be profound, making legal verification difficult.

Effective documentation is crucial; maintaining records like journals, photographs, and incident reports strengthens a case. Legal representation can guide survivors through the complexities involved. Emotional abuse encompasses behaviors intended to frighten, control, or isolate an individual and can occur in various relationships. Courts recognize the serious implications of emotional abuse, which may influence custody and visitation decisions. Evidence such as documentation from schools or character witnesses is instrumental in proving claims.

Individuals must understand the types of evidence needed to present their cases effectively in court. Ultimately, proving emotional abuse can lead to vital legal remedies, ensuring protection for victims and their children.

What Are The Signs Of Narcissistic Abuse
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What Are The Signs Of Narcissistic Abuse?

Narcissistic abuse is characterized by a range of manipulative behaviors from individuals with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), leading to significant emotional harm. Signs include constant criticism, exploitation (emotional, financial, or social), lack of empathy, and narcissistic manipulation. Victims may face isolation from friends and family, boundary violations, blame-shifting, and emotional instability.

The abuse tends to cause confusion, anxiety, hypervigilance, and avoidance behavior, often resulting in narcissistic victim syndrome, which encompasses the psychological aftermath of such relationships.

Common symptoms for victims include low self-esteem, self-doubt, anxiety, and depression, making it difficult to trust others. Tactics like gaslighting—making victims question their reality—and coercion amplify the trauma associated with narcissistic relationships. Recovery from narcissistic abuse typically involves setting boundaries and seeking support to rebuild self-esteem and mental well-being. Long-term exposure to these abusive patterns can lead to chronic mental health issues.

Identifying warning signs and understanding the dynamics of narcissistic relationships is vital for those affected. It is essential for victims to seek confidential support and know that they deserve relationships free from emotional violence.

What Is Parent Adolescent Conflict
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What Is Parent Adolescent Conflict?

Parent-adolescent conflict is characterized by disagreement and negative emotional responses between parents and their teenage children. This conflict is a natural part of adolescence as teens seek independence, which sometimes clashes with parents' desires for safety and responsibility. While the intensity of conflict often escalates during this period, parents and adolescents do not always perceive this intensity similarly. Understanding these conflicts provides opportunities for communication and growth.

Conflict can serve as a means for adolescents to negotiate autonomy and develop their identities. A recent study aimed to identify patterns of parent-adolescent conflict that hinder resolution and are linked to behavioral issues in adolescents. This exploratory research highlights trends in conflict management and the interplay between personal and familial factors. Although conflict is common in family dynamics during adolescence, it is essential for parents to accept and monitor these interactions.

Research indicates that as adolescents grow, they frequently challenge parental authority, leading to escalating conflicts. These conflicts stem from differing expectations related to behavior and the timing of authority transitions. Through systematic reviews and studies, insights have been gathered to understand how parent-adolescent conflicts evolve and impact overall development during this critical life stage.

What Is Emotional Abuse From Toxic Parents
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What Is Emotional Abuse From Toxic Parents?

Emotional abuse by parents encompasses a range of harmful behaviors aimed at manipulating, intimidating, or belittling a child. Common forms include constant criticism, humiliating remarks, threats, yelling, name-calling, and making the child the target of jokes or sarcasm. Such abuse often seeks to instill control and undermine a child's self-worth. According to the CDC, 1 in 7 children in the U. S. suffers from abuse, with emotional abuse being pervasive yet difficult to detect compared to physical abuse.

Toxic parental behavior may include emotional blackmail, scapegoating, and neglect, contributing to an environment detrimental to a child’s emotional and psychological growth. Children raised in these conditions may struggle to recognize the abuse and often internalize blame, believing they are at fault. Signs of emotional abuse include feelings of worthlessness, isolation, fear, and confusion regarding parental affection. The long-term consequences of emotional abuse can be severe, affecting emotional health, mental well-being, and personal development.

Recognizing these signs is vital. Support resources are available for those experiencing such abuse; initiatives like the National Domestic Violence Hotline can offer assistance. Ultimately, understanding emotional abuse is crucial for healing and developing healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of breaking the cycle of toxicity for future generations.

Are You Experiencing Parental Abuse
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Are You Experiencing Parental Abuse?

If you or someone you know is facing parental abuse, you're not alone. This often overlooked issue, termed child-to-parent abuse, significantly affects parents both physically and emotionally. While physical abuse is more identifiable, emotional abuse is subtler and harder to recognize. It manifests through neglect of a child's emotional needs, excessive control, and manipulation. Recognizing these signs is crucial for healing. Emotional abuse can lead to long-term trauma, impacting both children and parents.

Being aware of the types of parental abuse—physical, emotional, sexual, and verbal—is essential. Signs include constant criticism, emotional neglect, and lack of support. If you suspect you're a victim of parental abuse, remember it's vital to set boundaries, seek professional help, and understand the effects on your mental health.

Emotional abuse can lead to significant emotional wounds, affecting a child's self-esteem and ability to regulate emotions. It's essential to learn coping strategies and resources for therapy and support. Understanding the nuances of parental abuse, including how it differs from typical discipline, can help break cycles of trauma and foster recovery. Remember, there are ways to navigate this challenging situation, and seeking help is a strong first step.


📹 8 Signs of An Abusive Parent

Do you struggle with emotional abuse in your family? Do you have abusive parents? It’s a really hard question to answer. No one …


Freya Gardon

Hi, I’m Freya Gardon, a Collaborative Family Lawyer with nearly a decade of experience at the Brisbane Family Law Centre. Over the years, I’ve embraced diverse roles—from lawyer and content writer to automation bot builder and legal product developer—all while maintaining a fresh and empathetic approach to family law. Currently in my final year of Psychology at the University of Wollongong, I’m excited to blend these skills to assist clients in innovative ways. I’m passionate about working with a team that thinks differently, and I bring that same creativity and sincerity to my blog about family law.

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  • My mother is always angry at me. Sometimes when i make a mistake they way she berates me is so mentally damaging. I always want to stay kind to her. While she treats my other siblings way better. Sometimes i misbehave with her too out of anger then she starts crying and cursing me out, Im so sick of this torture.

  • I’ve always respected my family. Never complains about them. But today, o can’t . I’ve been hiding all what they did to me. They support my brother who’s younger than me. Always beats me. Abuses me. I’m tired of all this. My hand is not working. He beats me badly. I want to get rid of this family. They can never complaina about me. I’ve followed my parents guidelines.but they never listened to me. Prioritize my brother over me. Even he was wrong. They don’t care about me. When I complain about my brother to them — they come with all society, respect, honor all these things. 💔💔💔

  • Tell this to my parents, not only mine, some other’s parents too. If I try to show this to my mother since she is divorced, she will say: are you trying to teach me? Are you saying I m a bad mother? and instead point out the rights to behave abusive and harsh with me. And they aren’t pointing out the rights of being abusive, instead she is denying she is wrong. I just hope someday Allah will take me, and I can finally rest. Yet, i know how difficult life is. But I’m just trying to say. That even if I cut a half piece of my heart for my mother, she’ll never change this behavior until I’m gone..

  • I’m almost 20, just graduated college. I literally locked myself into the living room to protect myself fron all the mental disturbance my parents and their golden child create. I starve like minimum of 24hr to 36hr regularly. I have some books to read and cloths to wear with me in the room, That’s it. I sleep, study, do all the stuff in a single couch. I’m surviving like this for a month now. They don’t let me work or go outside. They don’t even provide food 2 times a day. They forget they have another daughter and make me starve all day. They call me to get out of the room in a day or two. When I get out they do give the food and then shout scream while I’m eating. They make me cry while eating and I feel like I was better locked. They put false allegations and then argue. When try to prove my point, I become the bad kid. I can’t even get up and go back to the room cause I’m already starving for a day and half. Then swallow the disrespect and life’s going like this. There’s literally no one I can share my feelings and talk. I sometimes don’t talk for days. I’m just grateful I’m not dead or crazy yet.

  • What do you do when you have difficlt parents? Abusive in many ways than one, You try hard to have a relationship with them and they block your efforts, they request unreasonable things, for example to leave your job because you work in a hospital helping to save life, as well as a family of your own to support. They refuse to support you in any shape or form, yet they demand difficult things, they use horrible words and speak about you ill in the community. Its mentally draining and emotionally exhausting. I am tired!

  • My husband parents were so abusive towards him, always talking down on him, shouting and screaming on him. He said once his dad beat him to a point his shoulder got dislocated. After marriage i moved to his house and couldn’t believe how they treated him and me as well, yelling and screaming at him, for everything his dad would come so close to him face like he would punch his face. His dad is an old man but he would just keep his head down because of respect but he couldn’t take it when they did that to him in front of me. He decided to move out of his parents house, they said so many bad things to us. He is still so depressed because of all this😭 He is such a good man, its so difficult to see him go through so much in life. I pray Allah takes away all his pain. Dont have children when u cant treat them good.

  • Subhanallah, shukran ya mufti menk❤. My mother always told me when I was younger that she is always allowed to hit me and I have to accept and respect it. I always felt that this way of parenting is wrong. I live in Germany and in my younger age i couldn’t find advice by research of german speaking sheikhs on yt. Moreover due to missing language skills i was afraid that this kind of abusing may is allowed. Whenever I make research on topics like these in the german youtube-world, I only find topics on “the girls in islam have to obey their parents and have to be respectful and have to protect the honor of their family and this and this etc”. It’s very sad that especially younger girls are treated like everything’s their fault. So glad that I found mufti because he gives me the confirmation that my thoughts were on the right path and mostly of the decisions which make parents are based on their culture. May Allah guide us to the right path ameen ya rab🤲🏼

  • To anyone who is going through these kind of hardships, Don’t forget that Allah is always here whenever you need a shoulder, talk to the creator more than his creation, it’ll give you internal happiness, And Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bare, it means you’re strong buddy 💪🏻❤️, just pray for good things to come and don’t lose hope 🤲🏻✨ May Allah bring immense joy in your lives 🫶🏻💗

  • Im crying rn cuz my toxic mother abused me alot. She also said that why were u born and she was very angry at me i only yelled accidentally at her and she went mad.. Parents don’t think about their kids of how they’re are getting sad and painful breakdowns.. like me my dad and mom doesn’t even want me.

  • My mom used to beat me when i was young .. for like straight 3 to 4 hours till my father came home. I always thought i was doing mistakes and thought i should do better in academy. But alas… the more i wanted to top, the more i became an avarage student. The high school life was worst period of time for me. She used to humiliate me in front of everyone, she always thought being a strict parent make a better kid. Am i better now? i’m suffering from permanent illness which will most definitely hamper my marriage, effect my mental health which is why i’m severely depressed at this 21 years old of age. she sometimes apologize to me for what she did to me at childhood, but she didn’t fix her behavior for beeating me in every occasion and verbally abuse me. I’m so traumatized that i can’t even think about lining this life well… at least wish i could laugh, cry, be excited about something freely. She just wants be emotionless and listen to whatever she says like i’m an object… when i never get anything that i ask for to them… everything is painful… life just sucks to be part of th hardest test from Allah

  • I’m going through so much pain because of my abusive mother. I don’t know what happened to her but no matter what i do to make her happy, she becomes more violent. I feel extremely sad and depressed and i cry everyday. I’m 25 and she even blames me for me not being married by this time. Allah knows everything. Everything is in Allah’s hand. I have no power to change anything. I’m helpless. I really don’t want to be a burden for my parents. Please pray for me. May Allah ease our pain and grant us afiah. Ameen

  • thank you for this article! i have not yet converted but my intentions are true and strong to gladly become apart of the islam community. sadly, it has been extremely difficult for me because i wasn’t born in a muslim family. my parents are atheists that actually strongly go against islam and muslims, calling the islamic community false and it’s followers wrong and terrorists 😔 but i’ve discovered the truth therefor no matter what my family believes, islam is the right road to getting closer to allah the almighty. i wish to convert today, im only 16. my father saw me with a hijab and threatened me saying he’d do anything to keep me from being muslim.

  • Im sorry but saying that if you were beaten 20y ago and that you need to forget it and let it go is wrong, that’s just not how it works, and I know he meant well but the consequences of physical, verbal, emotional, financial, and sexual abuse are catastrophic, it sticks with you forever, it changes your brain literally, trauma affect people even after 70y of living after the abuse. You have the right to be angry, sad, even 100y after the abuse, especially if the parent didn’t change, because that wasn’t supposed to happen, you were a child and your parents were supposed to cherish, love and protect you, and if they failed at that it’s your right to be sad and even mad about it

  • I am going through all of these sexual abuse by my own father he works in Saudi Arabia and cones to home once a year for like 40 days and from so many years he had been doing that but i thought that this was normal until I hit puberty after that i started to realise that how much of a devil he is he will anytime slap my butt and touch me inappropriatly when I tried telling this to my family they didn’t listen even my brother he is like its you problem it was all in the past he mentally physically abuse me and i get so scared whenever him and me are only home I hate him so much he also beats me and shouts at me curse me say bad words and so many things I wish that in future I get justice and i can be independent and never look at my family behind and get out of this country and to start a new life I wish allah will give ne justice and he will save me 💔💔💔💔💔

  • و اقم الصلوة – ان الصلوة تنهى عن الفحشاء و المنكر Surely prayer keeps (people) away from obscene and evil deeds. (Surah Ankabut, verse 45) But the sad thing is that many of us pray true but we also lie, steal, rob, kill, rob, terrorize, extort, cheat, usury, take bribes and so on. Prayers cannot stop us from all these evil deeds or abominable deeds.

  • I don’t know what exactly feels like to have a father, although my biological father is still alive and I live with him. I have neither respect nor trust in him. His every single words shatter every member of my family. His verbal abuse and irresponsibility made our heart heavy. I pray nobody experience such things. May Allah give us righteous parents and make our lives ease. Ameen

  • Both of my parents are criminals. I was always wanna call the police but realise that the police won’t believe me and won’t help me. I receive so many hits, kicks, on my face, on my head, on my body, every time I cried mom will slap my mouth roughly, I was screaming, always screaming but the neighbour didn’t even help me. I wish if Prophet Muhammad is still alive I will run to him and ask him to protect and said,”please adopt me please” but it was always only my imagination. If I cry my head got dizy, if I make sound my parents will beat me up so I have to lower my voice if I wanna cry so I cry under pillow. I’m not allowed to cry. They said I’m a burden and always shout to me like,” you better die!” 😢

  • I know he means well, but he misses the point. People don’t report their fathers because abusive parents force dependency on the family which makes it hard to get rid of them. Protecting myself is my duty but I am also afraid of ending up starved and homeless. People who tell you to protect yourself from abuse have never been through any. They don’t know what it’s like.

  • My mom is just going out of hands she beats me (physical abuse) and ( mentally abuse ) both iam ending my school soon so all the pressure is one me i have to prepare for my exams and my mom never understand that iam human being and i have feelings i need respect all she thinks is that she owns and i have to do whatever she says iam tired i asked Allah to help me out so all my trust in on Allah but pls pls make dua for me that Allah ease my problem

  • My fathers did every abuse under the sun to me..and to my mother…they got away with it here in earth. I had an experience where i was hit by a semi truck going very fast i turned and watched as it was about to hit in that second i chose to relax and surrender my life back to God a warm peace came over my whole being as i was knocked out i heard and felt a presence it must have been an Angel that asked me questions about my life up til then. 3 questions were asked 1) Do you forgive them 2) Do you forgive me 3) Do you forgive yourself to all of these i said yes i forgive and all of a sudden i was pulled into what felt like an overwhelming magnetic giant massive star of light of love peace bliss purest extacy i cannot truly describe..So Forgive them is my finest advice no matter how grievous the crime against you it will open a door you cant even imagine✨🌙🙏💎🏆🗝🔎

  • Narrated ‘Umar bin Al-Khattab: Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “The reward of deeds depends upon the intention and every person will get the reward according to what he has intended. Sahih al-Bukhari 54 Muhammad (s.a.w) said : “One who guides to something good has a reward similar to that of its doer.” Narrated Sa’d bin Abi Waqqas: Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “You will be rewarded for whatever you spend for Allah’s sake even if it were a morsel which you put in your wife’s mouth.” Sahih al-Bukhari 56 Narrated Abu Mas’ud: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “If a man spends on his family (with the intention of having a reward from Allah) sincerely for Allah’s sake then it is a (kind of) alms-giving in reward for him. Sahih al-Bukhari 55

  • I agree, my mum abuses me so much and I’m sure it’s the same for many people, they abuse their ownership and status and treat us like slaves and leave us scuicidal, it’s to a point where I just feel like leaving or calling the police but I could never do that to my mum, and not to mention, they start telling so many people about if we ever get in an argument and never show what really happened… how they really abused us, please make Dua for me.

  • I don’t know how to deal with my mother it’s too toxic. I just really wanna know what is the punishment abusive mothers is it really necessary to obey them. To be silent if the child is suffering sooo muchh. The child really wants to end their life to that extent it is important to respect and stay quiet to their mothers while they abuse their child either verbally or physically??

  • I’m crying rn! Idk if my parents are abusive,idk how to express it. I’m miserable rn, seeking Allah’s help . Actually my father slaps me and it’s not even a big reason,same as what other parent’ s children do, I mean parents are the biggest support of a child in this world after Allah. I mean I’m speechless. I’m not even in a condition to start earning I’m not even 18 yet .Idk what exactly to do! And I’m writing it here Cox may be if someone else is going through it,i want to tell u,u aren’t alone.Allah is with us. I want to live happily with my parents but …. I’m blank. Idk what to do in life. Idk will i make it to a better life Idk will i ever have my childhood back as i wanted it to be Idk will i be able to live without my parents Idk,i just want to live a happy life ofc with my parents in it But, I can’t see it happening for now. I just want to live somewhere far and provide for myself my sister and my brother, that’s it. Please pray for me,I need it.i should be asking this to my parents but I can’t…so please please pray for my betterment please

  • my mother and father are so toxic to me the way they treat other siblings different it hurts me and whenever i made mistake they yell at me and cursed me, they curse and get out me from the home to veil, torcher me mentally and physically since my childhood, and now, they’re planning to marry me with a man who is 15 year older than me and i don’t wanna marry i’m just 13 and i don’t have any source of halal income also i don’t even have a bankaccount i don’t know where to earn money because he(my father) stop food and water to me and stop giving tution fee if i made a small mistake and don’t even fulfil my needs. don’t even take me to doctor when i get sick even they shout at me and told me to work of home and make food when i am not even in the condition to stand. i was the topper of my school and i was beatutiful as a doll i still remember how pretty i was but the last couple of years they become more abusive to me that cause my studies to low down now i’m not that student i was before but i’m still struggling and my beauty is fully ruined and my mental health is unstable my depression, anxiety, and stress rate are full 100% i don’t know why they are like that .but i trust in ALLAH that he will not leave me alone. I really hurts.

  • It’s funny how they say let it go. When you start to manifest these same behaviors towards everyone, your kids and ur husband and ur home is never happy then it reminds you of how greatly the past affects you still. Obey ur parents has gotten into our parents head and they are doing Haram thinking they are doing the right things.

  • My great grandfather used to drink heavily and cheat on my great grandmother. Finally, my grandmother and her sisters put their foot down, had my great grandmother move in and told my great grandfather to stay away from the family. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Allowing a parent to oppress others is enabling the abuse.

  • My father is very arrogant.he abuses me my mother and my sister mentally and sometimes verbally too. He sees me and my sister as burden.he does care about my mothers health.we are extremely exhausted we always pray to Allah to protect us from him but sometimes it feels like all doors have been closed on us there no way out. We pray our daily prayers. We hardly go out of the house maybe once or twice a week to get groceries and he only wants us to marry in his family but we don’t want to and if someone outside proposal comes he find faults and rejects them i am 25 and my sister is 29 please pray for us

  • My father for no reason always scolds me I cannot even bring my frnds at my home. Today I went to college started from home a little late bcz I know class is not always on time. Then my father called my frnd to clear that whether I went or not. This was such an embarrassing moment for me. I try to keep distance for him I don’t talk unnecessarily with him but he always tries to engage in problems with me. I am so fed up. Help me out please.

  • I hate my father, he ruined my life, he used to beat me up daily even in my teenage he continued it… He only stopped doing it when my uncle interfered… Even then he continued the psychological abuse, he stopped psychologically abusing me when I got a terminal illness. But he got such a good ending at the end, he got buried in the most respectful place. Why did he abuse me so much? I was his daughter… who does that to daughters?

  • Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah It is not enough to say Alhamdulillah so many times. Allah has given me the most wonderful mother. My greatest gift is my mom.👩‍👧 mother. My friends always jealous of me because I have very wonderful mom. Since 2013 yrs she is a single mom. That’s why I Share a beautiful bond with her.

  • A companion of Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) says, Before embracing Islam I saw a handsome man continuously preaching to the people from the morning (but people were ignoring him). At noon one young man slapped him, another tore his shirt (garment). The third spat on his face and the fourth threw dust on his head. (After the four young men left) a girl came out running and crying with a bowl of water. When that handsome man saw his daughter crying, he said with tears in his eyes, “Do not worry about your father, for Allah protects him. And a day will come whenCome the time when Allah’s message will reach every household in the world.” I asked a person who they were, he said, “That handsome man is Muhammad () and that girl is his daughter Zainab (ra)

  • Assalamu alaikum I’m an 8th grader and I have finals exam and I’m scared of failing I’ve practiced and studied a lot I’m so stressed and scared because i know my father will beat me up and my mother and they will call me names and I feel scared I’ve studied a lot and said a lot of Duas but I hope I pass

  • please don’t hurts your parents because I hurt my mom mentally and physically but today I lost my mentally strength, memory strength, physically strength,i lost my studies,i wasting time, I’m weaked in faith and every time I just remember what I did to mom in past and crying everyday and i lost every dream and studies. but still my mom take care of me and alhamdulillah allah is great teacher he teaches best lesson 😢😢 Please please please

  • My mother is toxic and she mantally abuses us. I lost my job been jobless for a year,and am divorced with one child. Everyday is trouble for me and my 5 year old. She shouts and abuses me infront of my son since am not helping in bills. She at times mistreats my son. All because she has the right according to Islam. Im just in a bad state right now and am not yet even 30

  • Assalamu alaiukum W.W. I have been making a DUAA since 2004 and I have not seen any result yet. Please my brother Mufti Menk tell me why I cannot see any its result. It’s DUAA which relates to marriage, if there are some actions that I do and Allah doesn’t like I am ready to knock them off. I am quite sad. Do not ignore me please😂

  • There are many sons and daughter in laws that are evil to their parents,they forcefully make the old parents sign their property into their names,and kick them out into the streets. Nowadays mothers and fathers are kicked out of their homes and into old people’s care home.its very painful to watch old people crying,what their sons and daughter in laws have done to them. Christians are now more caring to their parents,

  • I was dragged by my hair by my dad and pushed and pulled. And my mother is THE final boss of an abuser. Both are crackheads wont let me make money and move out. Everyday thought of killing myself but then again felt embarrassed. I don’t know what to do but i still have faith deep down for something that i dont know.

  • I can’t leave them…i don’t earn anything … I’ll die of hunger without them..and for that food they give me …they mentally torture me daily… I’ll try to set boundaries from now on and as soon as i start earning… I’ll leave them 🙂🙂🙂🙂They scold me daily, Today I’ve 0 self confidence… 0 self respect 0 friends two parents, who always remind me of how worthless I’m And no one to talk to 🙂🙂🙂 I do think of suside, but scared of the pain of death….but that’s my last option.

  • MuhamMAD said to go bite your father’s what? ‘Ubayy ibn Damura said, “I saw with Ubay a man who was attributing himself (in lineage) with an attribution of Jahiliyyah, so Ubay told him to bite his father’s male organ and did not speak figuratively (i.e. was explicit). So his companions looked at him. He said, ‘It appears that you disapprove of it.’ Then he said, ‘I will never show apprehension to anyone with regards to this. Verily, I heard the Prophet say, “Whomever attributes himself (in lineage) with an attribution of Jahiliyyah, then tell him to bite his father’s male organ AND DO NOT SPEAK FIGURATIVELY (i.e. be explicit).”’” Grade: SAHIH (Al-Albani) Reference: Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 963 In-book reference: Book 41, Hadith 12

  • My mon always beats me up and saying i am a disgrace because i always hold my dog and i get C on my report card i dont know what to do she always beats me up everyday and when i trip in public she makes fun of me and says i don’t know how to walk and she will break my legs and head if i trip more please tell me what to do

  • My parents are very much abusive one day i was studying and my father came and was insulting me as i couldn’t crack a competitive exam where 22lakh students give the exam and hardly 30k students are selected he was insulting me so much and was arguing i was just silent and i was staring at him and i was crying he said my sister to film that i was crying and send it to my friends and show my drama🙂my crying my feelings are drama for them and i was in class 9 i came 11th out of the rank list and oviously i should get scolded i agree but what he did was he put me off from his bike with my result and left me the whole crowd there saw me crying and then he took me and went to one of his frnd when that friend askd why i was crying he lied that i had failed and that person gave a disgusted look like yak how u failed my father lied to him and i was agn insulted my father is like evryone has to obey his orders and my mom also supports him and doesn’t say anything to him and as i want to chose my career which i like they are mentally harassing me my mother and father don’t talk to me and are forcing me mentally 🙂idk what to do and how to get out from here

  • What do i do when i Fell in love with one of Allah swt servants in halal way, him too. But his father is Controlling, manipulative and everyone in his Family is afraid if him. Culture: kurdish. Im Born Muslim, Education, had Good parents (both passed away). Beside dua and praying, what can i do? HES afraid of his Fathers reaction bcs he would shut him out from Family. Just bcs im not from „there”. He did that with him once bcs he wasnt a „Good Child” & sent him from Irak to Europe. All alone. 😔

  • I m the youngest one in my family my father has always ignored me,he mentally abuses me,he emotionally blackmails me and use me against my other brothers and sisters sometimes I rebut and advises him he starts taunting me abusing me and makes me and my family bad duas I really got hurt cried many times sometimes I also worry for the wrong Duas he makes for me plz suggest something I’m mentally emotionally disturbed

  • Assalamulaikum. I have a question… My mom mostly earn all the money off our homes. Now after she died. My father took all the money also by using my sister emotionally make me sign my mom land papers. He sell all his land also taking everything my mom earned. My mom was doctor. She had lots of money also in bank account. Now my dad is selling her land too. Also he is not dividing money by islamic rules. He is not giving any share. What should i do now?

  • I was raped by my mothers brother as she insisted I stay with them to study university. In my fathers house he let my mom control everything. There is free mixing. Non Muslim men who r their friends even come n stay in our house for days. One of their friends tried to lay his hands on me. I m their only daughter. I m not safe in my own house. So once I got married I don’t visit them much is it ok?

  • My parents will even call you a terrorist that is the level of Iman they have. They believe islamic lectures are for old people because they have no future. And a student should only study hard. They also believe if I recite Quran daily I will in poverty. Even if it is only for 11 minutes each day. They want me to talk with non mahram girls and womens and so on. Please make bua for me.

  • Sheikh my mothers a disbeliever she falsely claims belief in Islam, she’s embarrassed me and has slept w a family member who wants to destroy mes father, sheikh that’s my fathers sister, sheikh they took my enemy’s who make a joke of Islam and act according to this new generation to portray righteousness sheikh I have no brothers sheikh I’m tired of life sheikh my father who’s a non practice Muslim has claimed I believe in a false religion sheikh I was a leader his words that I read from documents to the public weakened me sheikh im poor sheikh I no longer believe in Islam as Allah cld have distanced me from them sheikh my sister slept w plenty of my enemy’s sheikh she’s a upholding Muslim in the naked eye while I’m a disbelieve sheikh I fully give up on Islam sheikh I’m not perfect but I said what I said Allah has let me down and has chosen disbelievers over me in every way. Sheikh I’m converting to atheist and even tho my heart burns for the prophet. It’s no longer part of my lifestyle time and time again Allah has shown me sihr according to disbelievers way time and time again they have rejoiced their success of my failure in front of me sheikh Islam is a joke to some and cheap weak way out for others and I have witnessed it’s beauty as well but Allah has made me one man a man who more then half his enemy’s are family how shall I defeat their cause if not I will be atheist till the day of judgement in this cruel world

  • So only sexual abuse is serious? This is so invalidating for survivors of domestic violence and physical/emotional abuse. How can you, MUFTI MENK, decide whether or not the beatings someone dealt with were serious or not. In fact, it is scientifically proven that victims of emotional abuse have harsher long term affects than victim of sexual abuse/physical abuse. Yet you say it not serious enough for someone to hold it even after 20 years. Beatings cause trauma. Trauma is lifelong. I would never recommend your articles to anyone

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