This article provides a 7-point checklist to help individuals avoid slipping into destructive survival strategies that cause their dysfunctional family (DFM) to manipulate and push them. To deal with toxic family members, it is essential to recognize the type of toxic behavior and use techniques such as meditation and relaxation.
To deal with toxic family members, one must first recognize the type of toxic behavior and then deal with it using the following suggestions:
- Limit time spent together with a toxic family member.
- Redefine loyalty by wanting the best for each person.
- Isolate yourself from others, such as discouraging or prohibiting them from seeing friends or other family members.
- Use silent treatment, which is one of the most common manipulative tactics.
- Follow these steps to learn how to cope with manipulative family members.
Manipulative tactics are key to the success of destructive or toxic families, and it is crucial to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being. Trusting your own feelings is key, and if you consistently feel drained, it is okay to walk away.
To deal with toxic family members, it is important to call out the manipulation, set boundaries, and seek support from others. Using humor can be an effective way to disarm a manipulator and deflect their attempts at manipulation.
To stop being manipulated, be aware and open-minded, seek input from a licensed Christian counselor, and ask yourself if the person is safe. Set healthy boundaries and consider distancing yourself from toxic relationships to protect your happiness and move forward with your life.
In summary, to stop being manipulated, educate yourself, set clear boundaries, limit engagement, develop assertiveness, trust your feelings, and practice techniques like meditation and relaxation. By doing so, you can protect your happiness and move forward with your life.
| Article | Description | Site |
|---|---|---|
| Familial manipulation: Common tactics and how to respond | People may be able to respond to familial manipulation by calling it out and talking with their family to address the behavior. Familial … | medicalnewstoday.com |
| What is the best way to deal with manipulative and selfish … | Build your boundaries up to protect yourself by keeping some distance between you and the person. Stay true to yourself and dont show weakness … | quora.com |
| How to Deal with Manipulative Family Members | Seeking support from others can be helpful. First, you can talk to your significant other, best friend or other relatives about what’s going on. | cumberlandheights.org |
📹 How to Deal with Emotional Manipulators and Narcissistic People
Often times, manipulation is hard to spot. Manipulators can exert manipulation in the form of narcissistic abuse, emotional …
How To Stop Someone Manipulating You?
Open communication is key to addressing manipulative behavior; engage in honest conversations about your feelings without confrontation. Setting clear boundaries is essential—define unacceptable actions and uphold these limits. Encourage self-reflection by posing questions that prompt deeper thought. Awareness of your own feelings is crucial, as interpersonal manipulation often leads to discomfort. This article discusses 10 methods to disarm manipulators and protect your self-respect, especially against tactics like gaslighting, which distorts reality and induces confusion.
Recognizing your rights empowers you to resist manipulation, a behavior driven by a desire to exploit others. Emotional insecurities and a need to please can make individuals susceptible to manipulation; focusing on what you can control is vital. Identifying manipulative traits can aid in avoiding such interactions. To stop being manipulated, educate yourself, set boundaries, limit engagement, and cultivate assertiveness.
Trust your instincts, question motivations, and maintain self-respect. Self-awareness and self-love can fortify your defenses against manipulation, helping you regain control in challenging interactions.
How Do You Deal With Manipulative Family Members?
To cope with manipulative family members, it's crucial to seek support from trusted friends or family who can provide perspective on your experiences. Establish clear, calm, and assertive boundaries to protect yourself from emotional drains. Recognize that familial manipulation is common and often involves tactics where one member exerts power over another. It's important not to try to change the difficult person—accept them as they are. Regularly remind yourself that their behavior reflects their character, not yours, to avoid falling into guilt traps.
Employ strategies such as calling out manipulation, setting boundaries, and limiting interactions to minimize their influence. Consider using humor to deflect manipulation attempts. Safeguarding your emotional well-being is paramount; establishing distance and maintaining healthy boundaries can help you navigate complex family dynamics. Understand that emotional manipulation often manifests through guilt, control, and coercion.
By communicating your limits and reducing engagement with toxic relationships, you can reclaim your happiness and maintain family harmony. With these approaches, you can manage relationships with manipulators effectively, especially during challenging family gatherings.
How Do You Deal With Negative Family Members?
Dealing with difficult family members, whether they are relatives or visitors, can significantly impact your mental and emotional health. It is crucial to employ strategies such as setting clear boundaries, utilizing "I" statements, and practicing empathy to navigate these challenging relationships. Toxic family members often exhibit harmful behaviors, including manipulation, blaming, and lying, making it essential to recognize and address these patterns proactively.
Signs of toxicity include negativity and gossip, and it’s important to limit sharing personal information with them. Creating emotional distance helps, as well as seeking support from outside sources. Basic strategies to handle toxic family dynamics include deciding your role in the relationship, setting and sticking to boundaries, and limiting interactions to safeguard your well-being. It’s also beneficial to prepare mentally before family gatherings and to engage in positive thinking.
Being aware of your emotions and reactions can further equip you to manage these situations effectively. Ultimately, understanding the nuances of toxic behavior and employing healthy communication can aid in maintaining your emotional health while navigating complex family dynamics.
What Happens When You Ignore A Manipulator?
Manipulators derive satisfaction from controlling others; when ignored, they often experience intense anger, feeling challenged in their authority. Unable to control you directly, they might target your social circle or spread false rumors about you. An ignored manipulator may respond aggressively, launching smear campaigns or bombarding you with calls and texts. This can lead to their emotional disruption, manifesting as frustration, anger, and fear.
Ignoring them interrupts their manipulative tactics, sending a clear message that their behavior is unacceptable. While initially provoking rage, it could steer manipulators toward either intensified tactics or self-reflection, contemplating their actions. The consequences of ignoring a manipulator can create a variety of outcomes; they might become bitter or retaliate with verbal or even physical attacks. However, by refusing to engage, you gain an empowering position, reclaiming control over your emotions and actions.
This article emphasizes the importance of recognizing manipulative behaviors and protecting oneself from tactics like guilt or gaslighting. Ultimately, ignoring a manipulator disrupts their strategies, potentially resulting in them shifting focus to easier targets. While it’s a challenging response, it can lead to liberation from their influence, fostering healthier interpersonal dynamics. Understanding these dynamics is crucial for managing expectations and navigating manipulative interactions successfully.
What Are Manipulators Afraid Of?
Manipulators target vulnerable individuals as they fear losing control and lack empathy. Their primary goal is to exploit others for personal gain, often employing coercive and unethical tactics. A common manipulation strategy is DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender), which confuses victims and invalidates their feelings. They maintain dominance through emotional manipulation and coercive control, often using passive-aggressive behavior and deceit to create a false image of themselves.
Manipulators thrive on instilling fear, guilt, or shame in their relationships, avoiding responsibility by playing the victim. Effective ways to counter manipulation include minimizing contact, saying "no," and asking calm questions to clarify intent. Many manipulators also grapple with their fear of being perceived negatively, driving them to maintain control and resist change. Emotional manipulators may use lies to avoid blame and manage anxiety stemming from the need to conceal their true behaviors. Ultimately, their fear of exposure perpetuates their manipulative actions, as they struggle with the potential consequences of their deceitful behavior.
How Can You Respond To Familial Manipulation?
Familial manipulation involves behaviors within a family where one member uses tactics to exert power over another, often leading to emotional abuse. Recognizing and addressing such behavior can be challenging, and seeking help from a therapist or family counselor may be beneficial. Common manipulation strategies include the silent treatment, goalpost shifting, and invalidating feelings. Responding calmly to threats is crucial, as is clearly articulating personal boundaries.
Individuals can prepare for potential reduced contact while advocating for their own decisions. Speaking up and staying true to one’s integrity promotes healthier relationships. Understanding the dynamics of manipulation allows one to identify victims within the family and communicate assertively. It’s essential to prioritize personal well-being—this may include distancing oneself from toxic relationships. Support from friends, partners, or professionals can help navigate these situations.
Accepting that not all family members will align with your perspective is necessary; you can choose your response. Ultimately, maintaining emotional safety and avoiding abuse is paramount. Learning to cope with manipulation through awareness, setting boundaries, and minimizing emotional responses can foster resilience and promote healthier family dynamics.
How Do I Shut Down A Manipulator?
To effectively handle a manipulator, it's crucial to stop reacting based on the feelings they invoke in you. Acknowledging those feelings is different from allowing them to dictate your actions. Begin by severing contact with the manipulator—block their emails and phone numbers to create distance. Acting calmly and deliberately, rather than impulsively, is key; this can frustrate manipulators and prevent mistakes that empower them. Politely decline their requests using strategies such as the broken record technique, wherein you consistently repeat your refusal.
Understanding manipulative tactics is essential, as it allows you to defuse their attempts at control. Recognize your own fundamental rights when interacting with manipulative individuals, asserting your boundaries confidently—maintaining strong eye contact can enhance your authority in these situations. Sometimes, shutting down a manipulator doesn’t require direct confrontation; a calm "no" delivered with a smile can be effective.
Stay aware of your worth and reclaim your power, navigating manipulative dynamics with confidence. Building awareness of potential manipulators is the first step toward self-protection and empowering your responses.
Should You Avoid Family Members?
Dealing with toxic family members can be overwhelming, as they often provide harsh criticism that can hurt deeply. While it may be tempting to completely sever ties, finding a way to manage these relationships is essential for your mental health. Look for family members who offer support and unconditional love, prioritizing genuine connections over those that drain you. Recognizing signs of toxicity, such as manipulation, blaming, and persistent negativity, is critical.
It's also vital to acknowledge that family dynamics can complicate the decision to cut ties. Instead of attempting to "fix" a difficult family member, accept them as they are and establish personal boundaries to protect your well-being. Taking time-outs might be necessary to maintain your mental space. Acknowledge that ending contact may be the healthiest option for some, and it doesn't make you a bad person. Logging your feelings before and after interactions with family can help clarify the impact they have on you.
Ultimately, you have the autonomy to decide how much contact feels right and to choose whether or not to maintain family connections. Keep in mind that family can change, and it’s okay to reevaluate these relationships over time as you prioritize your emotional health.
How To Outsmart A Controlling Person?
To effectively manage interactions with controlling individuals, maintain a neutral demeanor and tone while communicating. It's vital to express your commitment to working with them, yet firmly establish non-negotiable boundaries. Controlling people can be manipulative and may provoke emotional reactions, particularly narcissists who thrive on emotional turmoil to maintain control. To counteract this, focus on staying composed, asserting your own power, and prioritizing your needs.
Recognize manipulative behaviors, keep responses factual, and avoid sharing personal information. Understanding their motivations can also be beneficial; they may act out of fear or a desire for power. Key strategies include remaining calm, avoiding power struggles, and seeking support, possibly through online therapy. Set clear boundaries and practice assertiveness to outsmart and regain control over your interactions. Ultimately, recognize that you cannot change a controlling person's behavior, but you can protect your mental and emotional well-being by standing firm in your truth.
Aim to navigate these interactions without falling into their manipulation traps, ensuring your own autonomy and fostering a more positive life experience. Remember to remain vigilant, prioritizing your well-being while employing psychological tactics to disengage from their influence.
How Do You Win Against A Manipulative Person?
Dealing with manipulative individuals requires setting and upholding clear boundaries. Effective communication is key; maintaining composure prevents escalation. Seeking support and documenting interactions can also be beneficial. Focus on self-care and recognize when it's time to disengage. Understanding manipulative techniques is crucial, as they can be subtle and make you doubt your perceptions. Use assertive communication, establish firm boundaries, and practice emotional detachment to safeguard your well-being.
Avoid getting caught in manipulative tactics such as gaslighting or love bombing. When addressing narcissists, assertiveness and confidence are essential. It's useful to respond in writing and maintain brief interactions while stating your boundaries. Delay responses to consider the manipulator's intent, maintain disinterest, and assertively say no. Reducing time spent with manipulative people, especially in unbalanced relationships, is vital.
Recognize signs of manipulation through body language and language cues, and prioritize facts over emotions. Lastly, avoid confronting manipulators directly; instead, focus on strengthening your assertiveness to protect yourself from their influence.
Why Is It Hard To Challenge Manipulative Family Members?
Recognizing manipulation within familial relationships can be particularly challenging, especially when the manipulator is a parent or older relative. Adult children may struggle to resist coercive behavior, grappling with ingrained beliefs about authority and obligation. Setting boundaries with manipulative family members is crucial yet difficult, as these individuals may exploit their personal connections to exert control. Many family dynamics feature some form of manipulation—ranging from mild guilt trips, such as a mother’s annual lament about labor, to more destructive behaviors involving anger and aggression.
Manipulative family members often lack the ability to show genuine empathy or understanding of others’ feelings, exacerbating communication breakdowns and fostering resentment. Signs of narcissistic manipulation include tactics such as gaslighting, isolation, and emotional abuse, which can complicate relationships further. Thus, identifying manipulative behavior and developing strategies for self-care and boundary-setting is essential.
Ultimately, recognizing the patterns of manipulation and protecting oneself from toxic behavior is vital for maintaining healthy relationships and emotional well-being. Awareness of these dynamics allows individuals to navigate complex family relationships more effectively.
Can A Dysfunctional Family Be Manipulated?
Manipulation in dysfunctional families can be particularly challenging due to the emotional ties involved, leading to tactics like gaslighting, isolation, and withholding affection. Often embedded in family dynamics, manipulation can manifest in various ways, from guilt trips to emotional control. While some behaviors are relatively harmless, addressing manipulation may not always yield change, necessitating a focus on personal well-being and, at times, distance from toxic relatives.
Signs of narcissistic manipulation include unspoken family rules, poor boundaries, and a need for control, often resulting from unresolved trauma and ineffective communication. Common traits of dysfunctional families include addiction and a culture of fear, further complicating relationships. In these homes, privacy breaches by parents illustrate the lack of respect for individual autonomy, contributing to a chaotic environment. It's crucial for individuals to recognize these patterns and set boundaries for emotional safety.
Family members may use manipulation as a means of control, perpetuating cycles of conflict and neglect. Ultimately, dysfunction can undermine self-esteem and hinder the ability to form healthy relationships. Understanding the characteristics of dysfunctional families—such as emotional manipulation—can empower individuals to seek strategies for coping and healing. Recognizing these dynamics is the first step toward addressing and mitigating their harmful impacts.
📹 How to Deal with Emotionally Manipulative People
03:08 – Developing a relationship with someone who manipulates you 04:45 – How does emotional manipulation work? 09:26 …
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OMG I just had to do this with one of my roommates who I sincerely believe is a narcissist and therefore a master manipulator. After weeks of dealing with her overt and covert aggression, and constant putdowns, I finally took a stand for myself and confronted her. I told her I didn’t want her to have any contact with me anymore. She has since reacted by being vindictive in passive-aggressive ways, but I ignore her. It feels so good to know I stood up to a bully!
Please make note that manipulative people also say these things as away to devalue and invalidate their victims, especially when a victim is trying to express their feelings or concerns to the manipulative person. All of these can be just as manipulative if used to make you feel uncared for, unheard, and rejected. Manipulative people love to toy with and reject others as well. Best advice is to have a healthy detachment towards everyone. That way if an unhealthy relationship occurs, you are mature and healthy enough to walk away without causing yourself or others significant harm. Being spiteful, is just as manipulative and emotionally immature. Food for thought!
The manipulators I’ve done this to come back at me saying I’m then stonewalling. Some abusers or manipuators are a certain amount of self aware, especially of the nature of abuse. My comeback to this if you ever come across it is the old notion of that it is just better to be the villain in someone else’s story if you get to write or be the hero in your own. Don’t let someone else write your story for you. It always has a crappy ending that you will always have written better.
Watching this reminded me of my former friend who was very manipulative. When I finally stood up after being immensely confused for few months, they said they regretted being friends with me but later told me to never leave. They tried to convince me, saying that I would never ever meet great & kind friend again like them. I chose to simply walk away. I was just too tired playing mind games every time and my trust… was already broken. Last time I know, they took Psychology major at uni. I hope they have better awareness now, especially about this.
This article couldn’t have come out at a better time. A friend of mine is starting to show more manipulative behaviors recently and my father has been for a few years now. I was able to firmly put my foot last night during a D&D session last night. A little context: this freind(?) is a RAW player/DM and has been shooting down my creative ideas for characters, in-game tactics, and they have been hogging the spotlight for a while now whenever anyone else, especially me, is in the limelight. During the part of the session they were there for, they were trying to hog the spotlight again whining when the rest of us were having a good laugh about our party being an elf party because most us were elves and if anyone had forgotten that their character was human. The second jab of the night, the thing that made me put my foot down hard, was when they interpreted me and tried to correct me, the lore buff, about D&D lore that they haven’t looked at. The mood of the session wasa bit more subdued after they said that they were not able to continue with the session and just left within the first hour of the game. One of the other players, a good friend for quite a while now, and my mom told me how proud they were for me sticking up for myself after the session. Our other close friend, who’s in a different part of the world, also said that he’d back me up if the problem friend started going nuts again.
this is like my friend, she lied to me about getting sick when i needed her. before that i was patient and gave her time but she didnt make an effort to help me. when i confronted her she told me that everyone makes mistakes, she said that i dont accept her her and she said everyone is imperfect. when i talk about my problems she tries to make it like a competion and i end up comforting her. she kust need ackowlegement. she didnt even say sorry. being mature is knowing someones boundaries and sometimes your actions can hurt them, dont make exuses for yourself. even if it was not your intention to hurt someone it doesnt mean that its okay to invalidate their feelings. try to make an effort to improve not change. its the mature thing to to
One thing i tried one time that might work for other people as well is just looking dead into the persons eyes with no emotion whatsoever and saying, “I feel.. When you..” Example: i feel sad when you steal my stuff. It doesnt solve the problem but when i tried it on my father he got confused and stopped yelling in my face :). Think of it Like Pikachu paralyzing your opponent.
I have today, that was my Uncle who I looked up today, claimed me to be his son but kept calling me a lier in my talking and told me he was a manipulator as his own that is his testimony out his mouth as my testimony i am happy to have found this article cause I’m happy To relate to all your free thinking cause it gave me my freedom From him. THANK YOU FOR A AWESOME SLICE OF LIFE, Stay awesome for the Wonderful Help. 🌹
This article is so awesome and true… I was a manipulator to my perfect gf for basically 4 years… she confronted me and I finally gave in and told the truth… I made her think she was crazy when really I was the complete crazy one… I lost my perfect angel and I’m going to rot alone for it… thank you for the article it hurts me but makes me understand that I have a serious issue…
I use the I feel sorry for you one, but a little varied. I will use “I’m sorry someone hurt you” when a person is being particularly rude, and also “I find your behavior disappointing”. Usually the two together sends manipulators running quick. Thing is, I genuinely feel both ways when talking to these people, so it isn’t me being false in the slightest.
Neighbor is a social worker. Long story short, dad (who abuses me) is suffering from depression (because I established boundaries so he wouldn’t be able to do the things to me that he did to mom.) Neighbor kept trying to manipulate me into letting dad ‘cheer up’ by abusing me again. An example being at one point of the conversation giving the ‘Its not your fault that you were abused’ line, but in the same conversation saying ‘You just need thicker skin’, regarding the abuse. (Mind you the abuse is mental/emotional since physical can get him into trouble.) See dad will do whatever anyone else asks of him. Anyone except me. So he keeps me in a constant danger state cuz well, everyone comes first and I’m not even last on the list.
I recently just got out of a manipulated relationship. Me and my now ex girlfriend did not date for a long time only a few months. During that time we did argue to the point it was an everyday thing. I broke up with her twice and both times she manipulated me to staying. She made promises about certain things and those promises were never made. The third and final break up I mentioned about seeing if we can be friends but I changed my mind about a week or two and I ended the entire thing. During the relationship I was never able to bring up something to her about what she’s said or done. She would say “That’s your fault for feeling that way, no one is telling you to feel that way only you”. She used a ton of things that I told her against me, things I barely even talked to anybody about. If anyone is currently going through a manipulated relationship tell someone and leave.
my ex best friend and one of my nephews, I have not seen my ex best friend since 1999,truth is I don’t miss her at all, I am glad she is no longer part of my life and my nephew he thinks that life, the universe or whatever you want to call it revolves around him,like he is the only one that suffers for example, I got so very angry with him recently that I have blocked him on my phone from texting me, I also never answer his calls either, I guess I am so tired of having to deal with this type of person, that I just stopped caring about how they feel and one more thing, thankyou psych2go for talking about this subject ❤
“Thank you”. Said in a firm, polite tone with a diverted gaze to end a conversation, or as a comeback to a long tirade. This works well for me as a stonewaller without further provoking or justifying a manipulation attack. If it leaves them confused, that will only emphasize that there’s nothing truly to appreciate in their words.
I was in a mentally abusive relationship for years, my partner was and still is a master manipulator. The lengths these people go to just to make you believe their lies are incredible, truly disturbing actually. The fact that anyone could do that to another.. especially ones they ‘love’ is beyond sad. I feel for ANYONE is a toxic environment like that whether it’s a friend or partner, no one deserves to be treated that way.
I’ve watched a few vids on this website and subbed as they seem quite beneficial for many sorts of viewers. My undergrad psych and counseling degrees are from the late 70’s, so I don’t know all the new science. I did learn something useful, though, as one of my profs was a partner at a clinic in East Texas that dealt with phantom limb pain. I participated in some experiments where we used Shultz’s autogenic relaxation techniques, which I’ve noticed recently appears to be a thing …. we learned to move the needle on body function monitors using the recall of the feelings we had had when the needle moved up or down in the direction we desired. Like Michael Jordon recalling what it felt like being “in the zone’ shooting 3s, not attempting to will that to happen. I still practice them for sleeping, along with a breathing technique we may or may not have been using back then. Anyway GREAT website really like what you are doing with it!
Silence is the only option for the narcissists in your life no one needs a controlling and manipulate person who wants power and abuise in their life? Refusing their own behavior and actions that they use against you should be the one main thing that you should be to thinking about seriously when you decide to leave this toxic kind of disfunctional relationship with someone who used you and lied to you and betrayed your trust god will deal with your abusive friend he knows everything that your narcissist does and thinks! As for you you need to change your life around because life is short and you have better things to do with your life then being miserable with a heartless and selfish person and others who you met but used you and betrayed your trust and who doesn’t really love you in the first place but loves only themselves! No contact is best thing ever for you! In the end you will seek healing and Therapy regarding this matter! And no more Contact is what you will give to your narcissist friend who really is no friend!
Is there someone trying to manipulate you everytime you talk? They just got to have it their way, no matter what it takes. And maybe you are aware it’s all manipulation, but you still can’t help but get angry, and you wish you had a comeback for their manipulative tactics. Well, if you wanna stop that master manipulator once and for all, keep perusal for some powerful comebacks. 0:26 No: You probably already heard the expression, “No is a full sentence.” Even though sometimes you wanna explain the reasons for rejecting someone, like when talking to a friend or a family member. You don’t need to justify yourself to anyone, no matter how hard a manipulator tries to make you do things their way. You have the right to refuse to do anything you are not comfortable with. Don’t be afraid to say no and turn away. They really aren’t worhty of an explanation. 0:57 I don’t care about your opinion: Manipulators usually take great pride in themselves and believe their opinions are the only right opinions, and they try to make you believe the same. And since they’re the masters of manipulation, most of the time they manage to push those opinions on others. But when you tell them you don’t care about their opinion, suddenly their tactics fail. They can’t believe someone doesn’t care about their cherished opinion. If you use this comeback, you might get a confused expression and a minute of silence. 1:31 I feel sorry for you: It’s not uncommon for a manipulator to think they are superior, and they believe that everyone else thinks the same.
My most recent break up was getting manipulated by a female coworker we’re both 22 by the way. She would constantly text me at work, we’d talk after work together then even when I got home she continued to snap chat and text me. After awhile I figured maybe it’s time for me to let her know I’m romantically interested. I did and we kinda came to an agreement then in the near future (because she recently went through a break up a month ago) that we would give it a shot. Then this is where it went down hill. She would snapchat me more and more and sent some pictures that you wouldn’t send to friends. She Constantly got frustrated with me if I so much as didn’t open her message or was too short with her. When I wanted to confront her about all of this she constantly avoided it then we’d fight a little then make amends then be right back through the cycle. One day I took her home due to her family consisting of a crack head mother (literally full blown meth addict) and a roommate who was cross faded out of his mind. She couldn’t drive because she has seizures that developed because of childhood trauma. While driving her home she asked me to check out her mustang that she had crashed due to said seizures and I did. Gave her my opinion and told her it was fixable but it’s totaled by insurance so it wasn’t worth it. After awhile her drunk and high roommate came outside and confronted us. We chatted for a bit then I asked if she wanted me to leave or wanted to talk more. She then invited me into her house and we chatted with her roommate who really needs mental help who I tried to comfort because he was a veteran and I was in the marines and had gotten out a year prior to this.
Long car ride with manipulative coworker who only stops when they want to stop, determines where we eat, often times never, and thought I wanted to listen to their music. I spoke up on the music one, but am struggling to over come their “we can’t stop there because it will take too much time”. I thought about offering to just not get back in the car at the next stop and find my own way home but as it’s many hours away, is proving challenging
I really need to to tell you this. I don’t know if I’m just being too dramatic or its something serious. Before I explain anything i just want to say I am a female and I’m in Secondary school. So, I cry alot and I mean like ALOT. For example, at school someone calls me a freak or just calls me a name, I start tearing up immediately and start crying. I literally can’t control it and I have also told my friends that I can’t control myself. Another thing that I have is, I get embarrassed when I eat. So, at home I eat fine and I have no shame, i eat with my mouth closed at home but i might be a bit messy. Outside, I’m really ( well i must be because i cant control it ) neat and always eat with my mouth closed and i won’t look around and for example, I cut my fries into smaller bits and eat them with a fork, with a corn on a cob I rarely eat it at school ( actually I have never had it at school because I would get too embarrassed to eat it ) or outside, but sometimes I do eat it outside when people aren’t looking. I have an addiction aswell ( I don’t know if this is considered as an addiction but I will still say it ), it all started when it was 2021 and I put on blush and now I’m very VERY addicted to it, at school I always have a mask under my chin so that if my blush goes away for a bit or gets lighter I just put my mask on and I start getting very Moody and upset over that. I put alot of blush on my face and at school I do get made fun of and people stare and make comments about how I look but I just cant control it, however outside of school no one says anything people do sometimes compliment me outside of school and I do appreciate it.
This comment is coming a year late but whatever, I was in middle school when this article was released, specifically in 8th grade, now there was this annoying kid who would constantly annoy everyone including our own teachers, thinking that we care or even acknowledge him, well we did but unwillingly. When I first saw him, I hated him on the spot, cause I realized he was forcing my own friends to talk to him, even if they refused, he would threatened them to talk to him via physical means cause he’d claim he was in a gang, but in reality that “gang” were all his friends who didn’t want anything to do with him. He’d even make people believe in his lies and made a lot of kids in the class against me for literally no reason at all. Than when I saw this vid, I decided to do these tactics to deal with him, and I was so happy, he soon became the quiet kid of the whole class, I’m know in high school, happier than ever.thank you psych for saving the classes emotions and personalities. Can’t wait to see what colleges will have for me❤❤
Today I have handled my mom tactfully, last 30 years I have been manipulated by my sis and mom, they know I care for them so they just like to do every small and big things as per their own needs and I suppress my needs, when now I am learning how to say “no” they are turning red and trying hard to refuse me 😅 but not anymore 🙂 Manifesting that both of them are ashamed, embarrassed and guilty for using me this way.
it’s suck when the narcissist is one of your family members, you can’t really leave or cut them off easily. always preventing myself from having conversations with them and giving no big reactions to them but eventually a narcissist really lacks self awareness so they tend to become pushover and fail to realize and understand the situation. its hard out here
My roommate does this stuff to me all the time, but because I’m not on the lease anytime I don’t go along with what he wants he threatens to kick me out. I’m on a fixed income on disability and he knows rent is unaffordable and uses it to control me. If i try to tell him i don’t want to talk he follows me into my room, not even knocking. It makes me feel stuck and the sad thing is that he’s 67 retired and disabled himself and i do basically everything around the apartment even though he has care workers he uses me to do it instead
I will tell you my story, i co-founded a company with a covert narcissist, i thought at the beggining that he is friendly and is my friend. They manipulate you in ways that you can’t imagine, they change you and i am not kidding. After almost 6 years i figgured it out. Because i couldn’t handle no more, the guilt, the gaslight etc… I found my self in position to negotiate, and it has been a hell. Advices … take time for healing and understanding really well what you are dealing with. Everybody thinks about the narcissist that is a such s good guy and he well make stories such you are the bad guy. Accept that, start healing, be in no contact. Don t respond, don’t defend. When you negotiate they will be something like “my way or highway” it s also a manipulation. Please see fbi tactic negotiate with narcissist. They have flaws, you can manipulate them, you can escape . Be aware that he will try to keep the mask untill they die. Break the cycle, be brave, manipulate them, don t think that you will change them. Good luck with your journey !
Yes I also think it best to say no when u are not comfortable with it. You don’t need to justify anything. As there is a saying what others about me is none of my business and what I think about them is none of their business. We all are free to live the life as we want. We should not give anyone the remote of control of our life to anyone.
But what if we already say NO and ignore them and put earphones but they will tell to everybody that we are so mean to them because we don’t want to talk to them and ignore them always, even said that we are being rude to them. How are we suppose to do? They love it when people believe what they say that we are being rude but in real life we just don’t wanna deal with them don’t want to have any fight. But they like will tell many people to bully us because we don’t want to talk to them
I don’t really get what kind of relationship you would have with someone where these very simple dismissive comments like “Don’t talk to me” or “I don’t care about your opinion” would actually be effective on anyone unless you are like five years old. Like, I assume these situations are supposed to take place between adults or at least teenagers and simply saying something to another person like “I don’t have time for this, don’t talk to me” is like something a little child would say because they aren’t capable of having an actual conversation with anyone. All mature relationships involve a lot of compromise and understanding and making statements like this at anyone is just going to push everyone away from you and make them think you can’t express yourself appropriately.
I simply had to outthink 🧠 several manipulators in my life. It’s simple. All you have to do is not let people know where you live, change your number, stop coming around, & never contact 📱 them again. I’d even erase their contact information. That way I can’t call them even if I wanted to. A person can’t manipulate you if they can’t contact or locate you. Think about it….
1 refusal, 2 retreats, an ad hominem and a dismissal? Thank goodness this article was only a waste of 5 minutes of my time along with this reply… Here is how you disarm a manipulator: silence. If a manipulator has nothing to respond to, nothing to engage with, they are done. They have their egotistical little rant as a monologue, and it’s over. That’s the response you should give them. None.
question: I had a debate with my dad about faults and mental states, do you think that every person has a good or bad reason of like fights or murdering someone else? I feel like it’s a personal problem either through mental state and/or personal experiences, and while they may be dangerous, they have a reason and a right to rehabilitation (if possible) or public isolation (like relatives or friends can interact with them, but not like prison, like a motel/hotel style situation)
Now, I can see how this would be ok unless you’re talking to your parents or another authority figure. I could see my highly intellectual young son using these against me for evil. You may want to consider defining the person who’s manipulating or this could go terribly terribly wrong in certain situations 🤔. These comebacks are incredibly rude and disrespectful, in that case.
My friend uses the “I’m going to hurt myself” card constantly and every time I think I can back away from them I feel like a horrible person because they literally don’t have anyone else (they pushed everyone away with their manipulation!) I also feel they legitimately have low self esteem, and are starving for attention
Yes I had a husband and romantic spouse/partner we we’re not married but we were very intimate he was a manipulator and still is I still talk to him till this day I need help getting out of this relationship and to stop picking up the phone calling him every word that was taken from this article helps and keeps me and is thank you..
When I was a young student, there’s a poor but smart student who always ask me for money or snacks every day, I do give him some of my money and snacks though but the problem is he kept asking me for money or snacks when I’m holding a snack like 2-3+ times in every day and it’s too much. Because if I don’t give him money or snacks, he will not respond when I’m asking a question about the meaning of this and that.
I love this I’m currently trying to move from my toxic environment and I’ve tried a few of these different words but people around me become physical when I disagree which makes it harder for me and my depression. I’ve watched ur articles for a few years now and they always help me push through even if it’s just another abusive long day I want to thank you for helping others PUSH THROUGH 🫂✨ ~friend from another land
Hey psychtogo you have been an amazing help thank you so much I got diagnosed with depression 2 Days ago and I’ve had anxiety for a year or 2 now I know people won’t believe me but most of my ” friends ” are definitely fake one Hits me (But not specifically me he does it to the “friend” group nearly all the others make fun of me being underweight im underweight because I felt insecure so I starved myself. Thank you SO much Psych2Go -Alex
Saying “dont talk to me” is trying to control another person and is kind of toxic in itself. It doesnt serve anyone and they may or may not do it. We cant control others but we can control ourselves and walk away or choose not to listen. And “i dont care about your opinion” to me just shows people that you dont care what they have to say. But listening is an important communication skill that can help resolve conflicts. Pretending not to care about what anyone says at all will not solve anything. While Its important not to let others affect us too much, some amount of care is needed otherwise we wouldnt have discussions and compromises. Lastly, i dont think the use of over exaggeration, such as claiming that manipulators “always” act the way they do isnt helpful either. People dont “always” act one way. Sometimes people are nice, kind, other times people are mean. Its not black and white like they are “always” trying to manipulate you. Other than that, some of these points were great like saying no and that you dont have time for the conversation at that time. Maybe you can discuss another time that would be good to conversaste tho so that you both can get things off your chest.
Yupp. I am in that situation. My charming husband acted bad towards my pet. That shocked me and i was dissapointed to him. He started shout to me, that fault was mine. He lost his mind bc i was angry with reason. It was yesterday. No i didn’t took guild to myself and i refuse to feel shame bc i lost my temper in last winter 😅 Then he started to play victim and finally he refused to talk to me bc i do hurt him so badly he has no spirit anymore.😂 He refuse to communicate and probably expects me to apologice. I can’t even know how many days this drama will continue….Well i let him sleep in couch and go bed. Any ideas what to do or just wait?
Hi! i want to talk about a person type that i really dont know how to deal with. (Btw I love you) i need your analysis and advices. Please help me with this toxicness; I live in a dormiyory. i had a “friend” that kept swearing to me and trying her best to insult me every time i do something (it doesnt have to be a mistake or fail, she insulted me for entering to OUR room without knocking the door) but she was acting like we were friends(hugging me etc.) when we were with people we know .But the thing is she was worse in the school (We were in different classes). She would insult me when she see me just walkin through the corridor (in front of EVERYONE). Everyone said that it was her was to make jokes and speek with people. But thoose things had nothing to do with jokes. I know that she was joking like that but her joking with others were like: +Bitch?! I missed youu!! But the “jokes” with me were like: +Are you stupid? Dont wear your shoes that way!. So, no. That things were not jokes. One day when she was talking with someone while sitting on the floor in the room she wanted me to throw a chocolate packaging that she ate, to trash. I took the packaging, head to the trash can, and as i heard her saying something like “what a whore” i turned back to her, calmly walk next to her, she looked at me and said “whats wrong with you?(like i had to obey her no matter what she told)” I dropped the trash off to her head and said “i threw the trash to trash can (meaning that she is a trash can)”.
Idk why i feel so scared… I mean I’ve done all this soo many times like telling them to not talk to me or saying no … But they keep coming back again n again like the hell can they not understand that i don’t want them to bother me? Like i feel so exhausted… narcs really do suck all your energy it feels so bad… Nothing works… I feel helpless 😣
In my experience these statements are highly confrontational and likely to get you physically abused very quickly or escalate a manipulative person into full fight territory. Especially when those manipulators are narcissistic or prone to extreme tempers. I wouldn’t advise anyone to use these so bluntly unless they’re positive they never want to talk to that person again or can find a safer place to go directly afterwards. This is the first article I found very unhelpful.
All the time. My life is always going to be Adelweiss from The sound of music. Dad usually makes out the Czech Republic of silent treatment even though he likes to be nice to me but I feel like he’s using hypnosis manipulation is dangerous.😮 Because things that I’ve seen from my childhood are really dangerous things. I feel like I’m living the Adelvice way of life. The European where Adelvice is used in the European way of the torture house🏤. Been living with it for 37 years now. Indoor probably be putting up with it for another 28 year been hit in mouth with belt car gas gone sideways while dad & mum 🪦 use to argue Alot i would of 8 years old at the time. So my hole 🕳️⛳ family are like toxic golf balls who never understand the meaning of the answer no. Peace✌🏾😔 Everyone that’s doing it hard with out loved one’s 🪦 Older🦁Sister & Mum🦀 both gone😢…
I don’t know how to leave. I’m so tired. I’m so tired of arguing and arguing. Everything’s my fault according to him. I KNOW I’m not and whenever I bring that up, he hurts me more. I can’t even explain the amount of hurt and love I feel. I’m constantly trying to get help, but I don’t know how. This is going to be my life. And I’m almost 18. Help me
How to deal with them. You don’t, you leave them to figure their shit out and try to isolate yourself from them as best as possible. Since all staying with them will do, is continue a cycle of abuse, as they utilize what they can to control you. However, when the targeted individual does try to get away from them they will more than likely hide in the background and manipulate people around the individual to still try to get at the person they are targeting. You will be able to tell that they are doing this when people around the individual speaks the same rhetoric as the narcissistic person, yet weren’t speaking that way before meeting with the narcissistic person trying to manipulate the targeted individual.
I don’t understand how someone like to talk about themself even no one asked for it. And how their “feeling” is more important than others. How they demand for anybody to care, while they themself did not care about anybody elses. I don’t like how they force people get into conversation while we don’t want to / don’t have time for that. It is so little possibility they curious / care about people situation. I could say, they have eyes but fail to understand the situation, because they only focus on themself, how they feel, etc. It is tiring.
These don’t really work anymore, For my generation, We have come up with stuff like “Who asked” or “No one asked” or “No one cares about your appinion”. That stuff doesn’t affect me but to other people it might. I really don’t like what my and gen z is doing. With all the dream drama and png tubers and stuff like that really disappoints me
There’s this boy in my class that is kinda like a jerk that everyone or almost even kinda respect. He can be bossy, mostly with me. When I say no, he takes my stuff until I agree. I don’t like going to adults for stuff due to something in the past and I don’t want to get in trouble for the a fight. What do I do with that?
Istg whenever I try these against my sister who’s literally a gaslighting, narcissistic, slightly abusive, emotionally manipulative jackass, my parents get so disappointed in me because first, I grew up in an extremely conservative Indian family here in the States and we have this fucking hierarchy which comes in between every god damn thing in our lives and second of all, my parents are so naive. Like, my mom genuinely doesn’t understand what’s going on and she’s trying to pull me in closer towards my sister when all I want to do is leave and never see her face again. I’m like loosing myself but I won’t give up
Thanks…I have been dealing with someone way more mature than me and manipulative.. extremely Manipulative as if she knows the switches on me…What to do and say to switch me on or off in a particular way they want…and with The Nice Programming i had been conditioned with it’s hard to come back on her.
I’m in a relationship with a manipulator, he don’t care about my feelings at all,if i even try to discuss anything.. he will pick any of my word and make it so negative and blaming towards me .. he only talks about his feelings and how i am wrong.. i should have done this not that because he wants to do that way… I feel so burdend and emotionally drained 😞😓
Yeah pretty bad for a article tbh… You honestly think that telling a master manipulator that you don’t care will make a difference?! They know for fact that you care, chances are.. They literally conditioned you to be that way if they have exerted any power over you for an extended period of time. Saying that you don’t care might actually result in physical harm or violence being committed against you. They only way is to avoid this person, do not engage them, set boundaries and uphold them (When feasible). Sure thing Stacey! Telling my dad who beat me that I don’t care will fix all of it! Oh wait, I already did that… It got worse for me!! “Ignore them!” is hilarious, you don’t understand that some people don’t have the luxury of being able to cut ties with the abusive person. Again, some of this could result in the victim being harmed, especially if that person is a child and the abuser is a parent. They’re gonna get beaten probably… Edit: Sorry I am just terrified of the prospect that a child might see this and thinks it’s great to act that way towards their aggressor. I just don’t think it’s the right call AT ALL. And I live in Texas, and if you’ve been following the news … It’s just heartbreaking. My bad if this came off as too aggressive, I hope you’re not feeling bad.
Actually my image in home is very bad as im emotionally weak too much there are some people in home who just uses me to do their work nd i extremely fear when i dont as then they create a verbal fight for which my father holds me accountable most of the times as im sentimental and my sentimental is just because of my fear I try to keep distance only They know my weakness nd i even cannot say no to them as they ll create emotion nd nuisance in home for which i ll speak bad nd my father will hold me accountable I have to give explanation over every question they ask nd if i dont they use ll emotional games
What if we just want to refuse our friend, for example my friend likes to tell others to do things she doesen’t want to do like when she throws a paper to the trash and she misses she’s gonna wait until someone is going to cross it and she asks him/her to pick it up. I think it’s because she’s lazy and she just doesen’t want to do it but i also think that she is maybe trying to manilulate others… Please let me know if someone has a same matter. T^T
Say nothing. literally nothing. They do not care if you say no. They will try to grovel back to you. Many are held hostage by master manipulators, such as parent – particularly mother. Women can be very skilled manipulators. Men also, but women are relationally more skilled. The dependency of a child is used to control them by the manipulative parent. it is often referred to as narcissistic abuse.
You must be very carefull if you listen these advices. Are you saying no without any explaination to a narcisst or a loved one? Are you saying “I don’t care” to a narcisist or a friend or relative etc. If they are narcisst you can cut off. And did you decide they are narcisst or a doctor decide? It’s a diagnosis are you psychiatrist? If not how can you be sure they are narcissit? Be very carefull when perusal articles like these, you can ruin your relations.
The best thing to do is not to feed into their over-dramatization of things. Don’t tell them what they want to here. Be straight forward and LOGICAL. A manipulator purposely exaggerates things so all the attention is on them. Be passive, don’t feed into it, recognize it’s illogical and state the facts. And most importantly, do NOT give an emotional reaction. Show them that you don’t care with actions and not words.
No. Is a full sentence. Aren’t worthy of an explanation. I don’t care about your opinions. I feel sorry you and yours. Y’all are just sad and unhappy.I don’t have time for this. I am unavailable and don’t talk to me. Walking away and ignoring and unavailable for mind games. First, final and furthermore freeing my self. Put into action and kept in action. my playbook.