Oversharing is the act of saying more than is appropriate in a given situation or to a specific person, whether in-person or via email, social media, or text message. It can be a learned behavior, such as when you come from a family that doesn’t know how to stop oversharing and talking too much. To manage chronic oversharing, it is essential to understand what it is and why you overshare so that it doesn’t wreak havoc in your life.
To avoid oversharing, set clear boundaries for yourself and determine what is appropriate to share and what not. Active listening is crucial in avoiding accidentally oversharing with the wrong people. Small talk is key, and therapy sessions can be a powerful tool for reducing oversharing behavior.
To stop oversharing, start by asking questions, slow down before speaking, wait to hit “send”, find your oversharing trigger, and shift your focus to healthier coping mechanisms like exercise, getting outside, and creative expressions like writing.
Oversharing with parents about finances and romantic relationships can have a negative impact on individual growth as an adult. Setting boundaries is a crucial aspect of overcoming the habit of oversharing. By establishing clear boundaries for yourself and communicating effectively, you can help yourself stop oversharing.
To avoid oversharing, make an effort to ask questions and use active listening. Pause before responding and ask questions about the other person’s occupation, living situation, and hobbies to allow them to share more about themselves. Oversharing can be a trauma response, and it can make us feel inferior to the other “polished” people in the room. By understanding the reasons behind oversharing and practicing healthy coping mechanisms, you can gain control over your need to share and maintain a healthy relationship.
Article | Description | Site |
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How to stop oversharing | Keep meeting people; Keep being yourself; Keep making adjustments in those moments where you feel you may have said too much. And watch yourself … | quora.com |
How do I stop oversharing with people? : r/selfimprovement | Small talk is the key. Talk about your favorite movie/song etc and bond on that instead of getting too personal too quickly. Hope it helps … | reddit.com |
6 Ways to Stop Oversharing and Talking Too Much | 6 Tips to Stop Oversharing · #1 Ask questions · #2 Slow down before you speak · #3 Wait to hit “send.” · #4 Find your oversharing trigger · #5 Shift … | scienceofpeople.com |
📹 Do this when you have overshared to regain your privacy & mystery-HOW TO STOP OVERSHARING LUCYBENSON
This video offers advice on how to regain privacy and mystery after oversharing. The creator discusses the common reasons behind oversharing, including insecurity, ego issues, and people-pleasing tendencies. They then provide practical steps to address these issues, including identifying the root cause of oversharing, setting personal boundaries, and learning to communicate effectively.
What Is Oversharing A Symptom Of?
For some, sharing personal details is empowering, but for others, it can be a coping mechanism for anxiety, stress, or untreated trauma. Oversharing may signal a cry for help regarding mental health struggles. According to Morin from Psychology Today, five core reasons for oversharing include: a false sense of intimacy and deriving solace through excessive sharing. Such behavior often leaves others feeling uncomfortable, driven by emotions or nervousness.
Oversharing might stem from insecurity and vulnerability, and improving social skills can help mitigate these feelings. Trauma dumping involves revealing personal traumas at inappropriate times, overwhelming listeners. Oversharing can indicate underlying issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, or loneliness, often aggravated by social media use. This behavior exposes individuals to judgment and vulnerability to manipulation. It frequently occurs in those with ADHD due to impulsivity.
Ultimately, oversharing can mask serious psychological issues, leading to isolation as others distance themselves. Recognizing the need for therapy to address these root causes is crucial for those who struggle with oversharing.
What Personality Disorder Overshares?
Individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) frequently experience heightened emotional intensity and prolonged emotional responses compared to others. This leads them to overshare personal information in search of validation, understanding, or support. Oversharing, defined as disclosing excessive personal details beyond social norms, can be linked to various mental health issues, including BPD, ADHD, and bipolar disorder. These conditions contribute to impulsivity and emotional instability, impairing the person's ability to control their verbal expressions.
Many times, oversharing may act as a façade for deeper psychological issues, often rising from feelings of anxiety or trauma, especially rooted in childhood experiences. This behavior frequently stems from an impaired sense of self, where individuals struggle with self-regulation and face distress in social situations. Treatment options like therapy and medication may help manage symptoms, but individuals with BPD may still find it challenging to handle the impulsive need to overshare.
In severe cases, excessive sharing can indicate more serious conditions, highlighting the importance of recognizing the underlying causes. Understanding these dynamics is crucial for both individuals with BPD and those interacting with them, as managing oversharing behaviors requires sensitivity and support.
What Personality Type Overshares?
Oversharing is the act of revealing too much personal information, often to boast or manipulate, as seen in individuals like sociopaths and narcissists. Many encounter this phenomenon, either by receiving excessive details or feeling pressured to disclose their own. People may overshare in attempts to shape a particular image; topics can range from personal preferences to intimate relationships, often shared too soon in conversations. Distinguishing between trivial oversharing—such as divulging a child's name to a telemarketer—and more personal disclosures in intimate settings is crucial.
Personality types like ENFPs, ESFJs, and ENTPs are often associated with this behavior due to their extraverted nature. Conversely, types such as ISFJs may be less likely to overshare. Acknowledging why people overshare is essential: motives can include seeking intimacy, solace with strangers, or emotional expression. Recent societal trends have made personal problem-sharing more acceptable, fueled by self-help literature and social media.
Nevertheless, oversharing can mask underlying psychological issues, such as anxiety or borderline personality disorder. Understanding these dynamics can help manage encounters with oversharers while ensuring our own boundaries remain intact.
Why Do I Overshare Secrets?
Oversharing can rapidly create a false sense of intimacy, suggesting trust in the other person to handle sensitive information. This behavior often stems from several underlying reasons, such as the need for sympathy or an emotional connection that leads to sharing more than intended. The primary motivations for oversharing include: 1. A false sense of intimacy, often seen in settings like hair salons; 2. Seeking solace in strangers; 3. A misguided attempt to deepen connections too quickly; 4.
Anxiety or emotional discomfort, making oversharing a response to nerves; and 5. Underlying psychological issues such as anxiety disorders or borderline personality disorder. Oversharing can leave others feeling awkward, especially when personal details are revealed without regard for the listener's comfort. While it may originate from a desire for connection, the outcome can be isolation rather than intimacy, leading to misunderstandings.
Acknowledging and understanding triggers for oversharing is essential to manage the habit and maintain healthier interactions. Ultimately, the need to be seen and understood can drive individuals to overshare, but it’s crucial to navigate this instinct mindfully to avoid discomfort for both parties involved.
Is Oversharing A Red Flag?
Oversharing often reflects a need for comfort or validation, indicating deeper emotional issues like low self-esteem or a longing for approval. Recognizing the red flags of oversharing is crucial. For instance, if you find yourself monopolizing conversations with personal stories, it signals potential oversharing. Additionally, if friends worry that their confidences may end up publicly shared, that’s another red flag. Research suggests that oversharing can be misinterpreted as intimacy when, in fact, it often indicates self-absorption disguised as vulnerability.
Factors behind oversharing include a false sense of intimacy and an attempt to bond quickly but can lead to discomfort and strain in relationships. Furthermore, it can create reputational risks if sensitive details are revealed unintentionally through social media. Individuals who engage in oversharing may display emotional neediness and lack appropriate boundaries, often stemming from past trauma.
As dating dynamics evolve, oversharing may come off as unattractive to potential partners, highlighting the need for careful navigation between sharing and oversharing. Ultimately, being mindful of boundaries is essential for fostering healthy connections without jeopardizing intimacy.
What Is The Psychology Behind Oversharing?
Oversharing is the act of revealing excessive personal information, often beyond what is deemed appropriate. This behavior can stem from various psychological motivations. Dr. Moye suggests that individuals may overshare to enhance brief relationships or due to a lack of skills needed to develop connections gradually. The tendency to overshare may arise during moments of nervousness or emotional strain.
Research indicates this behavior could be related to primal survival instincts—sharing more information to seek support. Recognizing the triggers and contexts of oversharing can help individuals manage their behavior and responses to others who overshare as well.
Common reasons for oversharing include attention-seeking, validation desires, poor social awareness, or strict adherence to new social norms, particularly in the digital age. Fear of missing out (FOMO) is a significant factor contributing to this trend. Furthermore, oversharing can serve as a coping mechanism for anxiety, stress, or trauma, reflecting an individual’s struggle for connection or a plea for help. This behavior can manifest when individuals lack understanding of social boundaries, leading to discomfort for both the sharer and the listener.
Oversharing may also be linked to deeper psychological issues, such as trauma bonding, where a bond forms between an abuser and the abused. While connecting one's inner world to the outer world is desirable, excessive sharing can result in feelings of inferiority when compared to more composed individuals. Ultimately, oversharing reflects broader social dynamics, signifying a shift in how personal experiences are shared in the modern context, particularly through social media, where anxiety and the desire for validation can escalate this behavior.
What Is The Root Cause Of Oversharing?
Oversharing often results from insufficient social skills or a lack of awareness regarding boundaries, according to Dr. Moye. It can serve as a coping mechanism for deeper emotional issues. Although oversharing might feel cathartic in the moment, it often leads to uncomfortable situations for both the speaker and listeners. Compulsive and intentional oversharing can arise during emotional states such as outrage or anxiety, as individuals seek validation or support. Research suggests that oversharing may be tied to early survival instincts and social media behaviors that reflect anxiety and attention-seeking tendencies.
Many people overshare due to feelings of loneliness and a desire for connection, exacerbated by the pervasive nature of social media. Motivations can include wanting sympathy, lacking healthy boundaries, and needing emotional expression, leading to excessive disclosure in appropriate contexts. To address oversharing, one must recognize and understand its root causes, ultimately leading to healthier communication practices.
Strategies such as mindful sharing and developing emotional outlets can help curb this habit. Understanding the emotional dynamics behind oversharing can facilitate more authentic interactions and diminish the discomfort often associated with these disclosures.
How Do You Politely Tell Someone To Stop Oversharing?
Strategies for managing oversharing among colleagues involve establishing clear boundaries, limiting talking time, and redirecting conversations. The initial step is to set polite yet firm boundaries to ensure discussions remain professional. When a colleague overshares, redirect the talk back to work-related matters by stating your discomfort with personal topics. To further mitigate oversharing, limit your speaking time during conversations, engage in active listening, and respond thoughtfully without encouragement. It’s essential to avoid expressing surprise, as this may fuel further oversharing. If conversations veer into unsuitable territory, gently steer them back on track.
Also, using "I" statements when addressing oversharing can soften the conversation, making it clear your intention is to maintain a conducive work environment. Effective communication can also help identify triggers for oversharing, allowing individuals to curtail these tendencies. Engaging in personal outlets such as journaling or exercise may provide healthier emotional outlets for those prone to oversharing.
In meetings, implementing structured agendas and allocating time efficiently can help manage dominant talkers. Ultimately, maintaining a polite and professional demeanor while setting boundaries can cultivate a positive atmosphere at work and enhance collegial relationships by fostering more productive exchanges.
How To Stop The Habit Of Oversharing?
Establishing boundaries is essential in overcoming the habit of oversharing. By defining and communicating your personal boundaries, you can regain control over your information and foster more secure communication. Oversharing occurs when one divulges inappropriate amounts of personal details in various contexts, such as in-person conversations or through digital platforms. This behavior may stem from needs for attention or coping with trauma. Effective strategies to combat oversharing include exercising, journaling, or seeking guidance from a mental health professional.
Often, people overshare without realizing it, prompting the need to identify the underlying reasons for this behavior. Oversharing can create discomfort in relationships, as it involves revealing too much information that may overwhelm partners. To curb this tendency, it's crucial to practice self-reflection before sharing, engage in active listening, and decide on the boundaries of what feels comfortable to share. Utilizing small talk to build connections rather than personal topics can also be beneficial.
When feeling the urge to overshare, consider pausing before speaking, reflecting on trust in the relationship, and focusing on neutral subjects. Ultimately, recognizing and addressing oversharing patterns can lead to healthier interactions and more balanced conversations.
📹 Stop oversharing and embarrassing yourself
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I struggled throughout my 20’s with oversharing. I did it because I was very insecure and I just wanted to be seen, heard, understood and validated. I was demonized as a child & was the black sheep of the family. Unfortunately, I overshared with people that did not have the best interest for me & I attracted narcissists that took advantage of me. I’ve been in therapy for 3 years now. I’m a lot better that I don’t overshare the way I used to but I do find myself oversharing sometimes when I meet someone who’s had a similar experience as me. Im working on forgiving myself for this ❤️
I’ve become the silent person who will talk about everything but me and others. It’s been a peaceful existence. My friends can’t even figure me out at all 😂. Exiting my 20’s wiser and certainly refined but very content within myself. I had to learn I owe no one nothing but i owe myself the best version of myself and the life I want.
The last points you touched on would make amazing articles. How to talk without “talking”, how to be charismatic yet mysterious, how to give answers that are warm enough to create connection but vague enough that no one really knows what you said😂, how to be very okay with silence in conversations. Those would be really fun topics to explore, and would help everyone, but especially neurodivergent people who sometimes struggle with boundaries. Thanks again Lucy!
Hi Lucy, i stumbled on your articles and got really interested in the “being silent series” or something around that. You’re doing a good job. Here’s what I’ll like to say as this topic is a very sensitive one and almost everyone can relate with it or maybe more of over-thinkers like me. When it comes to oversharing, I think it could be relative or subjective. What you consider TMI sometimes may not be what I consider TMI. Also, the fact that there are different types of people and their ideologies of certain subject matter varies makes oversharing subjective. For example, some people who are not content creators or inclined to social media may think that having a YouTube website or being on social media means you’re an over sharer. Same way, some people may feel very comfortable sharing certain things with their very close friends or family (sister, brother, spouse, parent) which isn’t even bad. Even though I as a person always make that little provision for, in case anything happens. This is because, not everyone has that large capacity or threshold to keep certain things. If you get what I mean, and that’s where therapy could come in. (Btw, I’m not a therapist) but the question is, how many people can afford therapy? Therapy ain’t affordable for everyone, meanwhile, this topic cuts across so many people. So at end of the day, I’d say, seek therapy if you can, speak to someone you can trust, close friend or family and take responsibility for whatever happens thereafter. Taking so much in and not having someone to speak to has led to bad decisions for some or even depression for others.
Stop and block them? How to make sure they won’t spill it anywhere? Do i need to flatter them so that they don’t expose it to anybody? The person i overshared was a Narcissist, I don’t want to remain friends with such a person but, if I suddenly cut him off, he may spill my secrets. What to do in such situations? It’s like getting indirect threats by someone, as if he is saying ‘keep getting bullied by me or I will tell your secrets to everyone’.
After you’ve shared and how you know you’ve gained back that mystery & privacy is when people start poking and proding into your business by asking questions or making opened-ended comments to bait you to respond. I just laugh things off and make a relevant joke. Example: change in work schedule and people asking why I switched things up. Answer: it’s to stalk you every other weekend.😅😂
Thank you for this because I do this way too much!! I haven’t watched finished perusal all the articles but one thing I’ve learned is that oversharing, especially with people who aren’t close to you, fosters a false sense of closeness/ security. If you have triggers like abandonment, fearful attachment styles etc you may overshare🥲
Thank you for sharing Lucy, I also realised it’s very important to be kind to yourself as you grow on this journey and not be to hard on yourself, You are not the woman you were and now you know better and thank you for reminding us that mistakes happen 🤍 Also over sharing does put you in a position where you may start telling lies ladies!!😅