In this article, the author discusses how to cope with difficult acquaintances like friends, colleagues, lovers, or neighbors who have mental health conditions. It is important to accept them as they are and not try to fix them. Listening is the first step in dealing with “unreasonable” people, and it is crucial to know that you are not alone. Family members and caregivers often play a large role in navigating difficult relationships with family members.
Some moody people may be struggling with life, while others use moodiness as a tool to manipulate others. It is helpful to know the difference between the two. If you are struggling to navigate a difficult relationship with a family member, level the playing field and neutralize some of their emotions. Some likely causes of moodiness include eating too much sugar, which can have negative effects on mental health. Mental health services can help individuals with BPD learn how to better recognize and manage their emotions, as well as prescribe medication that can help.
To help your moody child cope, take a soothing bath, set the mood with soft music and dim lights, and use essential oils like lavender for calming effects. Try to talk to them or engage them in conversation, paying attention to their problems and helping them deal with the situation. Cheer them up and share five specific skills that help you effectively and respectfully handle other people’s difficult emotions:
- Try to be understanding.
- Take a break.
- Stay calm.
- It might be best to consider removing the person from your life.
- Avoid falling into the trap.
- Let them tell you how you can help.
- Learn to listen.
- Say to yourself that the other person is struggling.
- Set boundaries.
- When calm, talk about what you can do to support someone who is experiencing anger.
Managing one’s moods is a key skill for young people to learn, and modeling matters. To help your kids navigate their emotional ups and downs, take yourself away from negative people and situations. Our environment and the people we spend our time with have a huge impact on our happiness and success.
Article | Description | Site |
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How to Handle Other People’s Bad Moods Like a Pro | In this article, I want to share five specific skills that help me to effectively and respectfully handle other people’s difficult emotions. | nickwignall.com |
How to Deal with Moody People | 1. Try to be understanding · 2. Take a break. · 3. Stay calm. · 4. It might be best to consider removing the person from your life. · 5. Avoid falling into the trap … | thelifecoachingcollege.com.au |
13 Ways to Handle Someone Who Is in a Bad Mood | Let them tell you how you can help. Sometimes the simplest tactic is to ask what you can do. Try asking if there’s anything that’s helped them in similar … | wikihow.com |
📹 How to Deal with Moody & Negative People! Stephanie Lyn Coaching
Mentalhealth #stephanielyncoaching #narcissisticabuse #emotionalabuse #selflove **** PROGRAMS ***** Self-Parenting Course …
How To Make A Moody Person Happy?
There are many simple yet effective ways to uplift a friend's spirits and improve their mood. You can start by asking if they would like help, or simply being present for them. Leaving a handwritten note can add a personal touch, while engaging in fun activities like ice cream outings or volunteering together can create joyful memories. Offering positive reinforcement and practicing your own smile, even on tough days, can have a contagious effect. Genuine acts, such as giving compliments and spending quality time, are fundamental to fostering happiness.
Using mindfulness techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga is also beneficial for anyone managing stress. When supporting someone feeling down, it’s crucial to communicate openly and be empathetic. Encouraging others to share their feelings can create a sense of understanding and connection.
In moments of adversity, consider offering gestures of kindness—a high five, a hug, or simply asking about their day. Being compassionate and patient fosters an environment where positive feelings can grow. Remember, it’s essential to recognize your own emotional needs when surrounding yourself with others' challenges. Ultimately, focusing on shared joyful experiences and open communication can help anyone see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Are Anger Issues A Mental Illness?
Anger is not classified as a mental disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM–5), and thus, lacks specific diagnostic criteria. Nonetheless, it is commonly associated with various mental health conditions, including antisocial personality disorder, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and bipolar disorder. While occasional anger is a normal emotional response to frustration or perceived threats, chronic anger can signify underlying mental health issues or necessitate anger management strategies.
Intermittent explosive disorder (IED) is a specific impulse-control disorder marked by sudden and intense outbursts of anger or aggression that are disproportionate to the triggering situation. It manifests as hostile and impulsive reactions, impacting both mental and physical health. Those experiencing IED may struggle significantly to manage their anger, which can negatively affect relationships and personal well-being.
Anger issues can manifest along a spectrum, ranging from irritability to chronic problems, and may arise from both internal factors (like depression or anxiety) and external stressors (such as trauma). Recognizing when anger becomes unmanageable is crucial for seeking effective treatment and coping strategies. Therefore, while anger itself is a natural emotion, persistent difficulties in controlling it may require professional attention to address potential underlying causes.
What To Do When A Family Member Is Always Angry?
Coping with someone who has anger issues requires patience and calmness. It’s important to remain composed and not retaliate, even when provoked. Allow the individual space to self-regulate while expressing your willingness to discuss matters once tempers cool. If living with angry family members, such as siblings or parents, consider these seven strategies for effective interaction. Accept them as they are rather than trying to change them. If their anger turns abusive, seek support from friends or other family members.
Maintain patience and foster forgiveness in your approach. For toxic family members who gossip, limit personal disclosures and engage only in light conversations with them. If you face bullying, utilize key strategies like active listening and calmly discussing issues. Toxic dynamics can cause significant emotional impact; therefore, focus on self-care—healthy eating, exercise, and adequate sleep. Support someone grappling with anger by listening and helping them identify their triggers while establishing boundaries.
Avoid dismissive remarks, and instead use "I" statements to communicate feelings without making them defensive. Deep breathing can also assist in calming anxiety during confrontations, enabling better emotional regulation. Ultimately, the onus is on each individual to responsibly manage their anger.
How Do I Deal With A Low Mood Person?
When dealing with someone who has a low mood, you can choose your level of involvement. Sometimes, it's best to distance yourself, especially if their negativity impacts you. Set boundaries if necessary. While everyone experiences feelings of sadness occasionally, persistent low mood or depression can require coping strategies. Begin by refraining from judgment; understanding rather than labeling helps foster compassion. Most importantly, depression is manageable, and support exists for those facing it.
Engaging with sympathetic friends and relatives can be beneficial, as sharing feelings can provide perspective. Self-reflection is also crucial; when low, take a moment to analyze your emotions. Don’t hesitate to reach out for support—bottling up feelings may exacerbate the situation. Additionally, simple lifestyle changes, such as regular physical activity, can alleviate some symptoms of depression. Recognize that depression affects many, and you're not alone in facing these challenges.
Explore evidence-based treatments despite skepticism, as negative expectations can hinder progress. Encourage patience and self-care, and educate yourself about assisting loved ones dealing with depression. Recognize signs of depression and ways to offer meaningful support. Effective communication, positive reinforcement, and involvement in their routines can significantly assist someone feeling low. Remember, it's essential to seek help if someone expresses suicidal feelings.
How Do You Deal With A Hostile Family Member?
Dealing with difficult family members can be stressful and emotionally draining. Begin by shifting your perspective: think positively about what you appreciate in them. Meeting in neutral places can alleviate tension. Mentally prepare yourself for interactions by developing empathy and being aware of your emotions. Avoid drama and refrain from people-pleasing, focusing instead on setting firm boundaries to protect yourself from toxic behaviors. It's crucial to engage in polite small talk without divulging deep personal information, especially with gossips.
Recognizing the signs of toxic behavior, such as cruel remarks, can help you detach and respond appropriately. Maintain healthy communication and conflict management strategies, emphasizing "I" statements. Ensure your household encourages open sharing of thoughts and feelings, contrasting toxic environments. If you encounter resentment, approach it with empathy, understanding how past events influence their perceptions. Ultimately, you may need a time-out from toxic family members, leaning on your support system for strength.
Remember that family drama is common, and it’s important to manage it mindfully by maintaining clarity about your role and limits in the relationship. Prioritize your mental well-being while navigating these challenging dynamics.
How To Not Let Family Members Bother You?
Dealing with a toxic family member, such as a parent or sibling, can be challenging but manageable through specific strategies. Begin by defining your role in the relationship and establishing clear boundaries that you consistently enforce. It's perfectly acceptable to take time-outs when necessary. Remember, family drama is common, and their issues are not your responsibility—"not my circus, not my monkeys." Instead of trying to fix the toxic individual, accept them as they are.
If their behavior becomes intolerable, physically distancing yourself may be effective. When faced with negativity, walking away sends a strong message and protects your emotional well-being. Prioritize your needs first, and engage in self-care to foster healthier dynamics. If cutting contact isn't feasible, prepare mentally for interactions, avoid contentious topics, and remain direct yet calm. Learn to allow them to express themselves without feeling the need to intervene.
Ultimately, prioritize your happiness over the need to manage their emotions. By keeping boundaries clear and maintaining your distance when necessary, you can create a less stressful environment while actively protecting your mental health and emotional stability.
How Do I Deal With A Difficult Family Member?
Dealing with difficult family members can be a daunting experience, often leading to feelings of exhaustion and frustration. To manage these interactions effectively, it's crucial to prepare yourself and adopt healthy communication strategies. Rather than trying to change the difficult person, accept them as they are, while focusing on your boundaries. Clearly define what behaviors you won't tolerate and articulate the consequences for crossing those boundaries. Communicate assertively and consistently enforce these limits to protect your emotional well-being.
Seek support outside the family for objective insights, as family members may be biased. Encourage open expression from your difficult family member, while also practicing empathy to understand their feelings about past events. It’s important to prioritize self-care and maintain distance when necessary. Effective tactics include choosing the right timing for discussions, being clear in your communication, and remaining emotionally resilient.
Utilizing these approaches can aid in reducing stress during family gatherings and establishing healthier relationships. Remember, maintaining your boundaries is key to navigating family dynamics without compromising your mental health.
What Is The Psychology Of Moody People?
La moodiness proviene de la falta de disposición para enfrentar y resolver problemas más profundos. Las personas de ánimo cambiante a menudo se encierran en su resentimiento y en culpar a otros, evitando así el trabajo interno necesario para resolver sus conflictos personales. Esto puede llevar a tendencias narcisistas. Según el Dr. Holland, es importante distinguir entre emociones y estados de ánimo; las emociones son reacciones rápidas a situaciones específicas, mientras que las emociones tienen una duración más prolongada, a veces días.
Algunos síntomas de la inestabilidad emocional pueden reflejar las primeras etapas de un trastorno bipolar. Factores tanto internos como externos, como la alimentación y la química cerebral, pueden influir en el estado de ánimo. Las personas pueden volverse adictas emocionalmente a los individuos melancólicos, tratando de "arreglar" su infelicidad. La cultura tiende a patologizar las emociones humanas normales, lo que contribuye a esta percepción errónea.
Además, los cambios de humor pueden describirse como una montaña rusa de sentimientos, desde la felicidad hasta la depresión. Comprender las causas de la inestabilidad emocional es crucial para abordar estos estados de ánimo y fomentar una mejor salud mental.
What Should I Do If Someone'S Mood Starts To Take A Toll?
When someone else's mood negatively impacts you, reach out to someone who uplifts you, like a friend, family member, or therapist, to gain perspective. Being around those in a bad mood can be draining. Emotional dependency affects relationships but can be improved with effort and compassion. Keeping up with emotional burdens can strain your well-being and connections. It's crucial to label your feelings, especially when living with someone experiencing severe mood swings.
Engage in enjoyable activities like reading or biking to recharge. If anger arises, utilize calming techniques such as walking or listening to music. Emotional symptoms may include isolation, numbness, and hopelessness. Three interventions to manage your feelings include broadcasting emotions, maintaining neutral perspectives, and actively listening to others. Recognize emotional outbursts as signals to adjust how you manage feelings. Resist engaging in conflicts; instead, ask how you can help and validate their emotions.
Use anger management techniques like timeouts, "I" statements, and mindfulness practices, such as meditation, to maintain composure. If monitoring someone’s emotions becomes overwhelming, seeking therapy might be necessary. Supporting others while safeguarding your emotional health is vital; know when to step back if the situation becomes too taxing. Ultimately, fostering open communication and understanding can ease emotional burdens in relationships.
What Is The Psychology Of A Moody Person?
Moodiness often arises from a reluctance to address underlying issues, with brooding and blame serving as distractions from deeper anger and resentment. Moody individuals frequently evade personal conflicts when others overtly accept blame, resulting in narcissism and immaturity. Unlike fleeting emotions, moods are typically longer-lasting, enduring for hours or days, while emotions are often more transient. People who consider themselves "moody" may mistakenly believe they experience an excess of negative days compared to individuals with bipolar disorder, who confront intense depressive episodes.
Moods, which can be either positive or negative and vary in intensity, share similarities with emotions. Those exhibiting moodiness often react strongly to minor stimuli, highlighting their sensitivity. The primary causes of moodiness include dietary factors, such as excessive sugar intake, among other possible influences. Describing mood swings as emotional "roller coasters," fluctuations can range from joy to anger or sadness, often exacerbated by physical illness or fatigue.
Understanding and coping strategies include patience, taking breaks, and remaining calm, particularly when dealing with moody individuals. By understanding the complex nature of mood and the psychology behind it, one can better navigate interactions with those experiencing mood changes.
How To Deal With Moody Family Members?
Engaging in constructive conversations with difficult family members is best done when everyone is calm. Encouraging them to seek professional support, like counseling, can help address the root causes of their mood swings. Providing resources and assistance in finding help is crucial. It's essential to recognize when discussions turn unproductive and focus on winning rather than solving issues. To cope, learn to listen actively during emotional outbursts and understand that the person may not be inherently bad but rather not suitable for certain discussions.
Focus on your response and well-being. If family issues feel overwhelming, seek guidance from a counselor. Toxic family dynamics complicate relationships, making it hard to cut ties. Characteristics of toxic behavior include manipulation and blame. Healthy interactions involve setting boundaries and utilizing effective communication strategies. During challenging times, such as holidays, manage expectations and address behaviors positively.
Recognize signs of toxic family members and adopt practical strategies like empathy, patience, and emotional self-care. Ultimately, prioritizing your mental health and understanding the underlying issues of others can lead to healthier relationships.
How To Deal With A Family Member Who Is Toxic?
Dealing with toxic family members can be challenging, but implementing clear strategies can help protect your well-being. Begin by setting firm boundaries and communicating them consistently; this is crucial for your mental health. Limit interactions to minimize their impact, and seek support from friends or professionals to avoid isolation. Practicing self-care is essential to build resilience and manage stress effectively. Remember, the toxicity is not your fault—it's theirs.
Identify and recognize signs of toxic behavior to navigate relationships more effectively. To cope, engage minimally; avoid sharing deep personal information with toxic relatives. If necessary, don’t hesitate to cut off contact for your well-being. Additionally, prioritize your own feelings and take timeouts as needed to regain emotional balance. Focus on establishing a solid support system that includes trusted friends or groups. Recognizing patterns and triggers in toxic behavior can also aid in sidestepping conflict.
Above all, hold onto compassion for yourself while navigating these family dynamics, understanding that distancing yourself is necessary for your mental health. By recognizing your needs and prioritizing self-care, you can better manage stressful relationships and maintain a healthier mental state.
📹 I Am Moody…
INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/iamsanna ❤️TWITTER: www.twitter.com/iamsannay Moody Unicorn Twin …
Wow. Yes!!! I work with people that are moody. One specific person in mind. You never know who you’re gonna get. Moody 80% of the time and then oddly nice %20 of the time. I also just moved out of living with a beyond moody person…6 months of “never know who you’re gonna get.” It was so hard… Still coming down from having lived that for so long. I internalized the moods and it highly effected me because I’m super empathetic and can be co-dependant and took on the responsibility of their mood! And thought it was me!!!! It’s not! Gosh…Grateful to come home to me and my peace. And no more eggshells. No more ignoring. No more Gaslighting. No more their “inner demons”…such a form of manipulation. I totally removed myself from the situation…by moving out 6 months earlier than expected.
The third agreement from The Four Agreements says it all. “Don’t take anything personally.” “Nothing others do is because of you. What others do and say is a projection of their own reality. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” Great book. Changed my life!
I have come across such dry miserable people in my lifetime and I walked away from them as fast as I could and never looked back. In other cases these people turned their backs on me too as they thought I was too annoying and overbearing in being upbeat. Don’t know who was right and who was wrong in these situations and I don’t care either. Life is short and we only get one shot at it as far as we know. Don’t waste your energy on these people. Great article Stephanie. Thank you 🙂
Usually I am the one that is moody, and I am the one that separates myself from others because I have recognized that it is best I stay away from my friends and family when I am going through these types of moods (if that makes sense). Unfortunately, some of my friends don’t understand that when I am behaving/feeling a certain way that I need to separate myself from others because I don’t want to take out my anger/frustrations on them. The ones that do understand I find I am able to control myself better around them and I am able to communicate with them better about it too.
Being in a relationship with this type of person can be exhausting and it gets you till the edge of desperation because one day they love you to the moon and back and the other day he/she is just so cold and cruel. Mood swings and emotional swings are so confusing for the other person and so unfair because it drives you crazy always feeling unsecure and not knowing what the hell just happened when 5 minutes ago everything was ok. You love that person very much and you do your best to make them feel loved but there is that moment of clarity when despite all that love, you realize that relationship is toxic,it makes u suffer,it torments you. Then..even though you die inside,you have to let him/her go..because you have no energy,no power and you just can’t take it anymore.
Thank you for another amazing article! I have struggled with this in relationships with moody men. It felt like it was my responsibility to make them happy. I have learned a lot. I am 24. Now I know I can’t put that kind of stuff on myself. If I see this early in a relationship I consider it a red flag and know it’s time to walk away.
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is walk away, yet how ‘good’ it feels is astounding: to do the adult thing. But it’s such a sad, hurtful situation. Thank you for this ♥️ Seems like society these days too is full of such angry people who speak before they think/feel. That’s on them, not us! That IS manipulation. TY for the reminder.
One of my bosses is like that & she is so annoying & I hate working with her because I’m always left so moody & exhausted & at times I have to pause & remind myself I have a good life & this is not my emotions I am dealing with. So this article was well needed because I was dreading going to work tomorrow I have even asked her in the past to only speak to me about work that directly affects me & nothing more because she drains me out & she has ignored me
It’s very hard and extremely painful to deal with during my growing up years when its my mother who is such a moody person…i ended up unaware of my codepedency for decades but now that i know, no matter how difficult, i am practicing detaching myself from negative people i know. You enlightened my mind and i learned something new today which i can use to better myself. A heartfelt thank you♥️
The thing is that people can be so inspiring and exciting, they can motivate you to try out new things, persevere the stuff you’re currently working on etc. and yeah I get that people have problems sometimes, but if that kind of negativity is your general attitude walking around life, then really, do what you can to stay away from the person to preserve your mental well-being
Thanks for the article. It took me 25 years of being around my wife until I finally understood that “it’s not me.” That really helped. She clearly has had manic/depression/mixed behavior — but it is normally not extreme. But it shows up as irritability. She also can turn it on/off — so it is only me that sees the behavior. (kids are out of the house — we are the only ones in the house). So I struggle with validation. I’d have trouble saying (and she would have trouble believing me) stuff like “you have every right to be mad at me right now.” I haven’t figured out how to validate — without it coming across as passive aggressive — and really being helpful.
Yass!! What you said is so so correct and true. I do have someone in my life like that and I used to blame myself whenever he took his anger issues on me even though I didn’t do anything wrong. Unfortunately for him, I found your website and so many other self love articles that told me how I might be a Co-dependent, how to set boundaries etc and this time when he just started trashing on me (just because I wasn’t saying anything, I was listening and So I was blamed for “not contributing to the conversation”.. Aarrgghh 🙄), I just told him, he can believe whatever he likes and this is his perception. I simply said I don’t want to continue this conversation as this is your perception and you need to deal with it, I had a nice day so I’ll not ruin that. I felt so much better after that 😁😁😁
A little side note…people who have anaemia can be constantly irritable too. It’s one of the symptoms. It’s also a byproduct of having a chronic physical illness like MS etc. Just thought I’d add that. Love how you explain things so clearly…I appreciate your effort in making these educational articles…thank you.
This was a very interesting article for me. I live with a bipolar spouse and we are always struggling with communication. I definitely have the people pleaser personality and my spouse gets super angry when I say they are moody and gives me silent treatment for several days. I like to over-communicate, and my spouse knows that silence is my pain-point. I like the idea of creating boundaries for how we handle these types of mood swings and not allowing them to manipulate by acting a certain way. Thanks for the article!
Thanks Stephanie! You pretty much summed me up. I feel bad, and I’m really sorry. I’m doing my best these days to change. I apologize a lot and distance myself from people. Both can be a problem, however, because sometimes I apologize for no real reason, just to please others, and I also isolate myself to the point where I feel really lonely and depressed. It’s about finding a balance. Please say a prayer for me! 💞
Great article, would it be possible for you to also make a little additional post to make it clear how to support without taking stuff on? If it’s someone you care a lot about: it’s difficult to just say “that’s your stuff and you have to deal with that yourself”. How do we maintain a healthy level of care & support without taking their stuff on to ourselves?
This article is really great. It describes my narc manipulator mother to a T, where one moment we could be having a good laugh and the next she could fly off the handle. It’s the sudden shift that’s startling and puts you on the back foot, keeping you wondering if you’re the one doing something wrong. Like you said, it’s a manipulation (and/or intimidation) tactic.
I love your articles!! Always great content.. thank you! I have a family member that falls in this moody category, always complaining.. always negative. It’s very hard to push through without frustration, I viewed her in the past as just being “unhappy” but I think now she is so comfortable being this way she does not realize how she sounds.. and does not know how to deal with the emotions properly. Thank you again for shedding some light 💡 on this one! 🤗✅
Thank you so much for your articles Stefanie! This one in particular has really helped me deal with negative and moody family members. I have a sibling like this…always trying to bring me down and make others not like me. I always feel like I did something wrong to them even when I didn’t when I’m around them and always questioning their intentions and behavior around me or whether they like me or not and why they are so negative and cold towards me. Now I know why. It’s them not me. Misery loves company and I am not apart of that. They also hate when I’m happy and feeling good about myself or hates anyone who likes me. But when I’m down they are up. It’s almost like they’re mission in life is to make me miserable because they are miserable about me. I’ve spent most of my adult life pining for my sibling’s affection and positive connection with me and I realize now at 47 yrs old (they are 52) that’s never going to happen. I will never have a positive relationship with him the way I want. The ball is in his court, until then, I stay away from them completely. I know I’m not the Intl person who doesn’t have a relationship with their siblings and it doesn’t make me a bad person or less than they are.
Wow! This was a great article! Perfect for what I needed today. Recently, my mood was on an all time high. I was really happy. But when I talked with my friend, they wasn’t up for joking and pretty much wasn’t in the best mood. It got me down and I eventually ended the conversation. The rest of the week I’ve been depressed and completely miserable like I took on their negative energy. I want to be there for this person but their mood changes every time. They do try to communicate if they aren’t up for talking, but it’s hard when you mostly like attracting people that are upbeat or wanna have a positive life. I know this person struggles with depression and refuses to get help. I don’t want to abandon them, but I’m not the depressed person I used to be. I’m working on bettering myself, staying positive, and moving forward. In order for me to keep doing this, I can’t keep surrounding myself with people and things that get me down. I’m definitely an empath, but I don’t wanna be miserable everytime this person is. In this situation I had to be put myself first and I told them I’ll be out of contact for a while. Sometimes I need space too and I honestly just want to be happy. Hopefully we can find a balance with communication and dealing with their moods. Or maybe it won’t work out. Either way, I’m going to be at peace with it.
Thanks so much for this article, yes I have and still is in this situation at work I work in childcare and I am that person that tries to become the people pleaser to fix people’s problems, but now that I tell and let my coworkers know that I will no longer be that in between go to person now I am the bad or rude person, but you are right my inner self feels a hell of a lot better when I let people know that they can talk to the one that’s making their life miserable and d something about it you guessed it I no longer get my coworkers spilling their guts to me every day about negative situations.
It’s a narcissistic point of view, narcissists can’t take responsabilities so they take only positive moods and project bad things to the others, so the others can be depressed, narcissists are perspnnality destroyers, if a person feels better when she’s alone than being with you, ask questions to yourself
I have a boss like this. 80% of the time he’s so much fun and the other 20% he flips like Jekyll and Hyde. He’s my favorite friend at work, and he relates to me like a brother or something more. You know he’s older, manly, affectionate. I don’t have a strong male lead in my life, so I think that’s why subconsciously, I have kind of put him on a pedestal. I wish I could tell him that but he’s kind of rough around the edges, so he might not respond favorably just because the enotional component might be too much for him. But I bet he can tell because it’s obvious the feeling is mutual. His brother calls me his “work wife.” I think its a super cute form of affection. Anyway, because I’m a HSP and a little bit codependent, it hurts me a lot when he shuts down. He’s not good at communicating how he feels. He can be my best friend one minute, and then shut down and not even look at me. He hates when I ask what’s wrong and he barks at me to go away. That hurts a lot. We’ve had talks about this, and he emoathizes and cares, and he really has become a whole lot nicer in general. But he slips up a bit when he’s mad. I wish I could explain how this makes me feel in a way that would stick to him and kind of… you know… get the light bulb to turn on. Does anyone have any ideas on the best way to communicate with someone like this? (Please don’t bash him. I hate when the man-haters leave nasty comments and call people like this a narcissist and tell me I’m better off forgetting him. He’s not a narcissist, he really does have a heart, and I think we have a pretty healthy relationship.
I don’t like being around moody people anymore they bring out the negative in everything . It’s not healthy too be moody all the time . Not perfect myself I’ve had my days of being moody or cranky . Feel like when you grow up in a cranky toxic environment you tend too pick up on the bad behavior . I noticed the music industry is full of this type of behavior as well like hip hop, rock, metal, industrial music for example .
i clicked on this bc my dad was this temperment as a personality type ISTP plus his personality traits were narcissistic types like, needing external reinforcement for his own significance (couldn’t generate it himself) and also bc my mom had this temperment in reaction to my dad being emotionally disinterested in others and their experiences and his critical cold communication and interpersonal manner when he wasn’t around she was placid and deep, peaceful, harmonious and generously open minded the negative moody reactive energy in our household growing up was unsettling and dysregulating
I don’t abide moodiness in anybody anymore, after 47 years of being scapegoated, parental alienation as the child and parent, life threatening illness, 15 life saving surgeries and a lifetime of serious health conditions, from decades of being minimised by “moody” and “cranky” people. The best way to deal with it is when you realise that people are taking liberties with you and you don’t have to enable them. Lay down some reasonable boundaries and call them out on their “moodiness”. If they deal with it by displaying rage, they’re a narcissist. If anyone has an issue that you won’t enable their “moodiness” and being “cranky”, firstly, try and ascertain if they would be like that, regardless of who is around, or if it is exclusively reserved for you. Either way, their “moodiness”, regardless of how it’s qualified, is a personality trait; a behavioral trait. Usually, it’s a trait accompanied by lack of self-awareness and unwillingness to accept any responsibility or ownership for their unacceptable behaviour, as it can all simply be chalked up to being “moody” or “cranky”. You’ll often get the “that’s just how they are” comments. That’s fine, this is just how I am and people will have to make the same allowances they do for the “moody” individual. Habitual “moodiness”, as a form of control, is abuse and you don’t have to put up with it from anyone, regardless of the relationship. Call them out and test if their bite matches their bark. It usually doesn’t, they’ll usually play the victim, rather than acknowledge that they have a problem.
Misery loves company. If you didn’t do or say anything to affect that person’s mood or bad behavior then you really need to question it. They (narcissists) are good at flipping a switch and making you feel bad or guilty to control you. If it happens more than once it’s definitely not your problem but it’s their issue. It’s not normal and you definitely don’t deserve it. It’s called emotional abuse. Some people will project their guilt from their bad behavior and put the blame on you.
There’s a woman in my life that is like this. She came from a very abused relationship of 11 years. Every week when she goes to her “woman’s meetings” It’s like she’s back to square one. She’s upset and moody and depressed. Those of us that are around her a lot feel that when she goes to these meetings, it’s just an echo chamber of all the bad things that men have done to these women. It reinforces the things that are already negative. It takes the whole week to get her back into being herself and then it’s time for another meeting and she’s back to square one.
The sad part about perusal this article is that my mom is like this. She smiles and laughs, but pulls the silent treatment, stays mad for days, hasn’t forgiven people from her past and it sucks because she is my mother but she is also suppose to be grown and I realize that she hasn’t and won’t deal with her past. Because she never dealt with her past she poured out her hatred unto my brother and I. She recently said that she doesn’t like people, which I knew but to hear her say that like her view of people is right, just hurts, knowing that my mother hasn’t grown up at all. Im on my own positive journey, and I can’t allow her or anyone else to get me off my focus. I tried speaking with her but she always and I mean always runs from conflict. Once conflict starts she runs and hides. It actually makes me cry to see my mother still allowing the past to control her every move. And she has no idea that she is chained in a cage, but with the key also next to her that she pretends to not see. I have chosen to still love her unconditionally, but i hope she looks in the mirror one day just like I did and do a self evaluation which changed my life. I realized I had to own my own faults, and that I made choices in my life and still make choices because I’m an adult who also knows of the consequences of all choices, whether good or bad, but mainly good lol. I appreciate what you do and I’m not sure if there is anything more to help her, which I dont think there is, but if you have any advice I would really appreciate it.
I have dealt with moody people and I have been a moody person. 😬 it was so hard perusal this article because I know I have had mood swings in the past and I am still a work in progress. A lot of it is not knowing how to manage my own feelings and properly communicating them. Sometimes I feel like I will be dismissed for saying what upsets me. I have learned how to deal with my problems in a healthy way without projecting it on other people.
I’m 15 and I sitt beside that person everyday… 😔 I have been putting up with it since 2 years As a friend I want to help her, I know mostly know what are people thinking… but when it comes to solving I can’t. Now I know that it’s not my fault.. And it’s not my responsibility. I always tried to find someone to help but it’s only me that feel lile shit.. Because she said something hurtful without considering my feelings,just because she is not in a good mood, I know that that’s why I just let it be and get hurt and forget about it 😔😞 Also I did know they’re feeling bad about themselves and unhappy, and I do not want it to get worst so I always stay happy… I also tried to talked to her that I know she is aking up to people to care about her.. Because I couldn’t take her toxicity enymore… . But she nerver learn or change.. And… I just want people to be happy…
Great, thanks for all of your incredible work here on YouTube. I love your articles! 💖I am wondering if there could be more on what actual diplomatic words to say in that particular situation when you validate and then exit. I got the essence of this article which is insightful and helpful, but the tools – the actual words to say – seemed rushed. It sounds to me, like I understand why you feel that way; you’re entitled to feel that way, etc., but I need to leave…so your acceptance of that person is verbally given, but you leave because their behavior is unacceptable and what about when it’s not possible to physically leave? 🙏🤗💖
If you care about a person like this tell them you appreciate their ability to express feelings. However let them know from your perspective when negativity is expressed too often it will drive people away. You care about them and want them to open their eyes to what they’re projecting because this habit causes them more problems by becoming isolated. Tough love may be worth a small argument so they can snap out of it and perhaps seek counseling to understand themselves more clearly.
I’m acting weird these days, I feel that I’m not the person who I used to be … There’s someone controlling my actions … It’s out of my hands … What would you advise me to do?! I’m suffering with my thoughts .. Anxious, depressed and suffering from schizophrenia . I feel like I’m more than one person, maybe there’s some kind of illness inside of my head ?! What should I do ?! What should I do?! And how should I do it?! My social circles have collapsed because of my weird actions … And I don’t know Why am I doing that … I get those thoughts, you know?!! Huh ?! You know ?!
My ex bf said I’m moody, but I can’t stop contemplating the harsh words from him whenever we argue, I can’t hide being sad, I don’t know If he is a narcissist or I am the moody one, I just keep thinking on my mind the words to defend myself, sometimes I have to change the tone of my voice just not to upset him or him thinking that I am moody
I agree with some, but not everything she said. I’m that moody, negative person. My best advice is just don’t keep pushing and pushing at us. Also Give us plenty of space. I think the biggest, most important thing to remember, is do not take it personally. It’s difficult for me to understand how people can take MY mood so personally. 99.9% of the time, it has NOTHING to do with you. Just keep in mind that it’s not everyone else’s job to make you feel comfortable. As long as I’m not taking it out on you, don’t worry about it. We all have different personality types. It’s ok for some of us not to be all upbeat and conversational. I’m more of the “introverted” moody person. I get completely overwhelmed by people and just too much of anything. Maybe a more extroverted person may need something else.
I kind of disagree with this in certain contexts this does not apply. the person may be moody because you are not accepting responsibility for the negative behavior ie. cheating on them being abusive betrayal trauma ECT. I am a survivor of such abuse and my spouse didn’t take responsibility at all for the neglect abandonment and long lasting affair. We are still getting a long divorce. Sometimes being moody is just a protective mechanism to keep that person away and not able to hurt us anymore. Especially when we have children with this person. I’m moody af when ever I talk to my ex but it has nothing to do with me not taking responsibility. I didn’t cheat, I didn’t destroy our family. I have accepted the reality of what she did and continues to do but I am Moody because there’s no way to communicate safely any longer. No more respect. Or at least that’s how it feels. Yeah I need some more therapy. Lol Love you Steph.
Yeah but I don’t care, I don’t need a diagnosis. I don’t need to understand any of that. I just know I was treated horrible. That’s enough for me to get out and stay out. Block delete and go live my life. Everybody seems so hung up on trying to understand why that person treated him so poorly. They did doesn’t matter why. Get away from them people you already know it will never stop. Save yourself you cannot help them