Family members are typically defined as spouses, natural or adopted children, parents, siblings, grandparents, grandchildren, nephews, nieces, aunts and uncles, and cousins. However, the legal definition of family members is not always clear, as they often have less to do with biological or legal connections and more to do with personal relationships.
In English, various family relationships can be described using examples and diagrams. For example, a stepmother, stepfather, half-brother, and immediate family, also known as first-degree relatives, are those connected to one by blood or marriage. This includes children, stepchildren, grandchildren, parents, stepparents, grandparents, spouses, sibling, mother-in-law, father-in-law, son-in-law, daughter-in-law, brother-in-law, or sister-in-law, including adoptive relationships, of a natural person.
Immediate family members include spouses, fathers, mothers, children, parents, and siblings. The terms for adding a second card holder require them to be over 18, reside at the same address, and be an immediate family member. Immediate family members can be either spouses or any other family members, depending on their relationship status.
In the context of a relationship by marriage, a husband and wife are related in the first degree by marriage. For other couples, managing their relationship with their partner’s family can be challenging, frustrating, and sometimes seemingly impossible.
In summary, family members are a group of persons united by the ties of marriage, blood, or adoption, constituting a single household and interacting with each other in their respective social situations. Understanding the names, meanings, and relationships of different family members can help individuals better understand their roles within their family unit.
| Article | Description | Site |
|---|---|---|
| Do you consider your Girlfriend Family? | I consider my current boyfriend family. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and he has always been there for me even when my family wasn’t. | reddit.com |
| Is my partner an “immediate family member” | The terms for adding a second card holder state that they need to be over 18, reside at the same address, and also be an immediate family member. | forums.moneysavingexpert.com |
| Are Boyfriends/Girlfriends, Considered Family? | Your relatives determine whether your significant other is considered family or not. My significant other was invited to every family function, … | prince.org |
📹 How the Narcissist Isolates Their Partner From Family
In this video, I explain how malignant covert narcissists isolate their partner from family. I discuss the challenges of seeing your …
Does My Boyfriend Count As A Household Member?
To include an unmarried domestic partner in your household, you must either have a child together or plan to claim them as a tax dependent. Simply living together is insufficient unless there's a qualifying relationship. A partner must reside with you for the entire year to be considered part of your household, with exceptions for vacations or medical absences. Legally married couples include their spouses, while unmarried partners living independently are considered separate households, each with one member.
For eligibility in premium tax credits and Medicaid, each partner's income is evaluated separately. Healthcare. gov and Pennie specify that a household consists of the tax filer, spouse, and dependents, regardless of whether they’re applying for insurance. Non-relatives must meet specific criteria to be included as household members. Living with a significant other does not automatically make them part of your household unless there are shared financial responsibilities, such as purchasing and preparing meals together.
For tax claims, boyfriends or girlfriends may qualify as dependents if they meet the IRS criteria. On the other hand, married couples living together will always be counted in each other's households, regardless of their tax filing status.
Who Is A Responsible Family Member?
A responsible family member is defined as a parent, adult child, adult sibling, or another adult relative actively involved in providing care to or monitoring the care of a deceased patient, as verified by healthcare professionals. Understanding and defining roles within a family is essential for its optimal functioning. Family members should reflect on their existing responsibilities and consider flexible arrangements that contribute to deeper, meaningful relationships.
Strong family dynamics depend on clear role definitions, ensuring each member knows their responsibilities while accommodating changes as needed. Family units serve as crucial support systems, encompassing roles that promote protection, care, belonging, and quality of life. Every family member can serve as a role model, demonstrating integrity and positive values. Responsibilities often cross generations, with members assisting one another in various ways.
It's important to note that while typically, relatives aren't liable for a deceased person's debts, exceptions may apply. Furthermore, characteristics of a responsible family member include communication, support, respect, and cooperation. Upholding family rules and harmony is crucial. Regular support for older relatives, sharing household tasks, and engaging in positive behaviors help foster a healthy family environment. Overall, being a responsible family member strengthens the family unit.
Is Your Spouse Considered A Family Member?
The term "immediate family member" broadly encompasses various relationships, including: (A) a person's spouse; (B) their natural or adoptive parent, child, or sibling; (C) their stepparents, stepchildren, stepbrothers, and stepsisters; and (D) in-laws, such as parents-in-law and siblings-in-law. Additionally, definitions may extend to grandparents, grandchildren, domestic partners (including same-sex), and foster children. Family connections can be acknowledged through blood, marriage, or cohabitation, often encompassing a wide range of relatives, such as a fiancé, guardians, aunts, uncles, and nieces or nephews.
Immediate family generally refers to the smallest family unit, highlighting relationships that carry significant legal and social implications, especially regarding benefits like bereavement leave. Some legal frameworks define immediate family more narrowly, only considering parents, siblings, spouse, and children, while others encompass a broader array of steps and in-laws. In contexts like tax benefits, immediate family members might include dependents and descendants, while employers may vary in their definitions according to organizational policies.
Regardless, the concept of immediate family remains vital in understanding familial relationships and responsibilities, establishing the core unit within which individuals are recognized as having particular rights and obligations.
Is A Fiance Considered Family?
As parents, individuals in an un-solemnized relationship have certain rights, but as partners, they lack the legal rights afforded to spouses. Without formal recognition by the government, boyfriends and girlfriends are not typically regarded as family members. However, if a couple has cohabited for several years or shares children, they may be considered a family despite the absence of formal marriage. Some jurisdictions may recognize an un-solemnized relationship akin to marriage if specific criteria are met.
In Australia, immediate family for travel exemptions includes spouses, de facto partners, dependent children, and legal guardians, but not boyfriends or girlfriends. Engagement denotes a commitment to marry but does not confer legal marital status. Familial relationships are defined strictly in legal terms, encompassing spouses, direct descendants, and blood relatives. For tax and healthcare matters, legally married individuals and their dependents form a household.
Even when legally separated, spouses remain linked for various legal aspects. Immediate family traditionally consists of parents, siblings, and spouses. Despite cohabiting, law views boyfriends and girlfriends as non-family unless legally married or recognized as common-law partners. Ultimately, the concept of family can vary, with emotional bonds playing a significant role, prompting questions about definitions of family and the significance of relationships based on shared life and responsibilities. Individual interpretations of familial relationships can differ significantly, reflecting deeper emotional connections beyond legal frameworks.
Are Boyfriends And Girlfriends Considered Family Members?
Boyfriends and girlfriends are typically not considered family members in the legal sense. However, some states acknowledge common-law spouses, recognizing couples living together for a specified duration (usually seven years or more) as family. The IRS allows individuals to claim a boyfriend or girlfriend as a dependent if they qualify as a "qualifying relative." Fiancés and ex-partners are also categorized as family members under certain definitions.
While some may consider their partner family, this perception does not hold legal weight unless formal recognition is established through marriage or cohabitation. Immediate family traditionally includes biological and legally recognized relations, like parents or children. In modern society, relationships have evolved; they are often taken more seriously than in past generations. Still, emotional ties and social acceptance can lead couples to feel familial, despite a lack of legal recognition.
The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) allows employees to take leave for family-related matters, which may include partners in serious relationships. Although societal norms regard serious relationships as significant, the legal classification remains unchanged. Ultimately, it's important for partners to communicate about their relationship’s status and integrate with each other's families if desired. Relationships develop uniquely, and open discussion about family ties can clarify expectations and mutual feelings.
Who Qualifies As A Family Member?
The definition of a family member encompasses a variety of relationships, which include spouses, parents, siblings, grandparents, children, step-parents, step-children, foster parents, and foster children, as well as guardians and domestic partners of any orientation. Under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), eligible employees are entitled to unpaid leave to care for family members with serious health conditions, including a spouse, child, or parent.
A dependent is typically a qualifying child or relative who relies on someone for financial support and can be claimed for tax deductions. The law also recognizes individuals related by blood or affinity whose relationship is akin to family. Documentation may be needed to clarify these relationships. Additionally, the California Family Rights Act (CFRA) allows eligible employees to take up to 12 weeks of protected leave to care for a seriously ill family member.
Policies may differ across organizations regarding paid leave for the death of immediate family members. Broadly, family members can include various connections by blood, adoption, or marriage, emphasizing the extensive nature of familial bonds. Immediate family typically includes parents, siblings, and children.
Which Family Members Have No Common Ancestry?
Family relationships can exist without common ancestry, including spouses, in-laws, and aunts and uncles through marriage. WikiTree's Connection Finder identifies marital relationships up to ten degrees of separation. DNA is passed down randomly, resulting in unique genetic profiles; thus, even siblings (unless identical twins) possess different DNA. For family matching, a common ancestor must be present in both genealogical trees, with potential adoption affecting perceived relationships.
Close relatives, particularly second cousins, often share detectable DNA, with nearly 98% of third cousins sharing genetic material. If no DNA is shared, misattributed parentage might be a factor. Legacy Tree Genealogists' Adrienne Abiodun offers insights into resolving discrepancies in DNA matches. Understanding complex relationships can be aided by family relationship charts. Although a close family member may have genetic traits not found in you, randomness in genetic inheritance can explain these differences.
Instances where matches do not yield expected common ancestry may arise, as seen in scenarios like grandmother DNA submissions leading to unexpected cousin matches. The only individuals who share all ancestors are siblings; all other relatives share only some. If common ancestor features fail to work on platforms, it may be due to setup errors. Individuals may also form family-like bonds outside of biological relationships through social or community connections.
Is Your Partner Considered Immediate Family?
Under Labor Code Section 2066, "immediate family member" encompasses various relationships essential for legal and employment contexts. It includes not only one's spouse and domestic partner but also cohabitants, children, stepchildren, grandchildren, parents, stepparents, in-laws (mother-in-law, father-in-law, son-in-law, daughter-in-law), and siblings (biological, half, and step). Adopted children and their adoptive parents are also part of this definition.
The Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) acknowledges immediate family to include spouses, parents, and minor children, allowing eligible employees up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave per year for specific family-related situations. The definition of immediate family is crucial as it varies across contexts like bereavement and military leave, affecting rights and privileges in employment and immigration.
In the scope of U. S. immigration, immediate family is primarily limited to spouses, parents, and unmarried children under 21. This classification signifies the importance of these relationships in various legal, work-related, and personal circumstances. Furthermore, in state laws, individuals in same-sex marriages or civil unions may also be recognized as immediate family members. Understanding who qualifies as immediate family is vital for navigating various legal rights, responsibilities, and benefits associated with these relationships.
Who Are The Family Members Of A Husband?
Relations within a family involve various connections established through marriage, blood relations, or in-laws. For a husband, key family relations include his father (father-in-law), mother (mother-in-law), brother (brother-in-law), and sister (sister-in-law). Despite differing ancestries, relationships such as spouses and in-laws are considered family. Parents are categorized as mothers or fathers, and they may have sons or daughters.
Additionally, the family extends to aunts and uncles through marriage, where an uncle could be a brother to one’s parent or the husband of an aunt, while an aunt is a sister to one’s parent or the wife of an uncle.
Further extending family terms are cousins, the children of one’s aunts or uncles. Understanding these relationships, such as a mother's uncle or male cousin being an uncle, helps in recognizing family structures. The concept of an "extended family" includes grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, alongside the nuclear family setup. As changes may occur in family dynamics, stepfamilies can emerge, encompassing various relationships.
Clear knowledge and usage of family member names in English is crucial for everyday discussions, enriching one's vocabulary related to family, including terms for in-laws like father-in-law and mother-in-law. Family relationships reflect a web of connections that contribute to familial identity and support systems.
What Is A Partner Considered?
A partnership is a relationship between two or more individuals engaged in trade or business, where each contributes money, property, labor, or skills, sharing profits and losses. Domestic partnerships, an alternative to marriage, gained popularity among LGBTQ+ couples seeking to formalize their bond and secure legal rights, particularly before the legalization of same-sex marriage in 2015 with the U. S. Supreme Court ruling in Obergefell v. Hodges.
A "domestic partner" refers to someone in this legal arrangement, which typically does not grant family status under the law, although some employers provide equivalent rights. A domestic partnership legally documents the commitments of two adults in a relationship similar to marriage, often providing rights similar to those of spouses. In states that recognize domestic partnerships, employers are required to extend coverage to domestic partners.
While "partner" can refer to a romantic or professional associate, "spouse" specifically denotes a legally married partner. Overall, partnerships encompass a diverse range of relationships, impacting personal rights and obligations based on marital status.
📹 What to do when your family and friends dont like your partner Adam Lane Smith
What to do when your family and friends dont like your partner? Have you ever been in this situation, or know someone who has?
This is one of the worst things that can happen to a loving family. It’s like a death with no final good-bye. Almost seven years now and still happening every single day. I can’t even begin to describe the nightmare, but still I hope and continually pray that one day he will see the evil and break free. On holidays, (which were always filled with love and laughter), I leave text messages and send cards, and tell him that I love him and will always be here for him and my grandchildren. That’s all I know to do. He is my beloved son and a beautiful soul that has been twisted, tortured, and abused. I am getting older and my heart is broken and I pray he comes back to our family soon.
My ex wife was the covert narcissist, and this is exactly what she did toward my family and particularly my mom. I have always had a great relationship with my mom, and my ex tried to undermine that all the time. Exactly in the way described here. My mom did the right thing and did not attack my ex or try to turn me against her. She just listened and helped me when I went through the devaluation and discard. For those that have a child going through this, just realize that they will eventually figure out that you as a parent love them and are there for them.
The hardest I ever cried was when the only way to deal with my daughter in law was to cut all communication with her knowing I would lose my son and grandkids. After a year she divorced my son. Things were good until he married another one like her. Now I am crying again losing my son and grandkids again. I am numb. This one also turned him against his dad. So it really hurts me to see my husband hurt cause he is losing his son. I am not a controlling mother in law. I have one daughter in law that thanks me for respecting their space. I don’t intrude and never come over unless I call ahead. I hurt for any parent who has to deal with a narcissist.
That is totally my DIL I couldn’t handle the bullshit and more. It hurt so much but I am no longer in their lives. Miss my son and grandchildren very much- I am now taking good care of myself and have had therapy. Sad sad situation, I’ve accepted it and have a happy life and it feels damn good not having this nasty woman suck the life out of me no longer. Much love to all those in the same situation horrible 😢
This hit pretty hard. Here’s another variation on the isolation: she may actively encourage him to spend time with his family (“family is important, you should go”), and then severely punish him for doing so (“every time you visit your brother your children suffer, how can one person be this selfish? What’s wrong with you?”). And then repeat, over and over. (“Every time you visit your parents you become a horrible person for weeks!”) He’ll get exhausted, broken, and isolate himself in self defense, just to make it stop. Then she’ll make a show of encouraging him to see you, and let you see him defeatedly insist on not going despite her encouragement. His choice, not hers. “See? He doesn’t like you.”
(Mrs). Yes the grief is horrendous. It absolutely feels like a death in the family. There must be thousands of us. I wonder what other common denominators these young women have besides narcissism… Anyway, people we need each other are there any blogs or support groups out there? I initially struggled with the shame and embarrassment but I am past that – it’s the grief that’s so difficult. My heart goes out to everyone on this feed and I’ll pray for you – God bless you and your families♥️
Wow..thank you. I could not figure out what was going on. This is definitely talking about my son’s wife. As soon as they got married she starting showing a side of her that makes everything she has done to break my relationship with my son and grandchildren make sense. She is a true narcissist. My son and I were very close and now my relationship with my son and grandchildren is non existent.
This is exactly what I am currently going through. It is absolutely heart breaking. I have been denied access to my grandchildren and now my son is ghosting me. I find it hard to believe someone would do this type of thing. I love my son and always will but fear that he will be in this situation for the long haul.
I have chills. You have described what’s going on in my sons life to a tee. Everything you mentioned has happened, but it happened so quickly! My so and I were incredibly close, now I have no contact with him and I am the enemy. If only I could get him to watch this article! Thank you for your excellent content.
I finally walked away after 30 years of this nonsense; never did anything but good to her yet she constantly criticized everything I said or did; my son is a good husband and father who still comes around because he knows, deep down, that I am not the problem. Still, I never text or call and do not expose myself to her toxic behavior any longer as my grandchildren are grown. I simply refuse to engage her no matter what she says about me. My peace of mind is most important in this stage of my life and I refuse to allow her to disturb it
OMG 100% EXACTLY what has happened with our son. He’s been with her for 9 yrs now and they were married in 2015. We saw the love bombing from day 1, but he didn’t. Tried to support them both but she still found fault with us and our daughter. To make a long story longer, we have been estranged for over 5 yrs and they now have 3 grandchildren, 2 of which we have never met. This woman has smeared our names, and enlisted my 92 yr old father and his narc wife against us, who has also smeared us, estranged us from most of my family. Therapy has helped and websites like yours have given me strength to heal. Over the last 4 years of educating myself on NPD, I have kept mostly silent, occasionally driving 2.5 hrs each way to their new place (Her parent built next door). 3 yrs ago, we saw them. He hugged us and invited us to meet the children and see the house they built, but she went inside locked all the doors and he had to find her. Came back 5 minutes later with his tail between his legs and we quietly said our goodbyes to him (Stopped drinking that day). Last year, we drove past and saw him from the road, but he just turned away in contempt. Last Tuesday, I drove to his house to let him know his Grandmother passed away, his work truck was home, windows down, but he would not answer the door. The trauma of abandonment by my beloved son and father has been excruciating, but I also recognize that their silent treatment and our no contact is peaceful, not having to deal with all of the drama and chaos and lies.
My experience was pretty much just as you described; Went from her telling me that she loved my family (during the Love Bombing phase) to “I’m saving you from your toxic family” in a rather short period of time. Not wanting me to be on my own with my mum to her then trying to get me to call my mother a liar etc, and trying to further degrade me when I would no longer support her crazy conquests “You’re not a man” etc A Truly awful time but I chose my family in the end when all of the gut feelings and red flags I ignored at first could no longer be brushed to one side. Great article, thank you for sharing this insight, so reaffirming. I hope that lady gets her son back somehow.
Adding any fuel to the fire keeps it burning. You can’t beat them when their entire identity and life energy is focussed on their pretence and control mechanism. I’ve been that son. Better for it now. Stronger. You can only really appreciate good when you’ve experienced evil. Anyone whose been through it will understand. It’s hard to believe if you haven’t.
I can’t describe how I’ve felt these past 4 years going through the exact situation with my son and his now fiancé & now reading that I’m not alone. Not that I want anyone else to experience this pain, but there’s a sense of shame that goes along with the stigma and confusion as to why my son didn’t talk to me for three years. At all! I always felt like it was her influence, but most people that asked about our lack of relationship were quick to judge me. Heartbreaking to say the least. We very slowly began to form somewhat of a relationship again, but the future daughter-in-law clearly was not a fan so there’s that. They’re getting married in a few months, and the last communication I heard from them was of course, from her telling me what she “wants me to wear to their wedding and to be sure it’s not TOO SHOWY?! She wrapped it up by offering for me to reach out to her if I want any pointers .”Seriously!? No words. So, anyone reading this, please know you’re not alone at all. One thing I can say is I still have my dignity. After about 8-9 months of my son not replying to any of my attempts to communicate with him, I had to step away in order to save myself.
1:1 description of what happened to me. Fast marriage, saccharine habit, then constructed conflict ¬ and total blow up! My son, who was also my best friend went full no contact from one day to another, finishing with a novel like mail, listing up what I supposedly had done wrong all his life. One by one of the family who just questioned him about was put on ice. You are right when you say, that being totally ghosted is perhaps the best variant in this nightmare, as every other option would be capitulating and contributing to a lie, a permission to get you vampirized forever. The only advice I can give is: Try to distance yourself from the drama, and in a good moment grab the best things in YOUR life, cultivate and hold on to them, save yourself as good as you can. For me this is art and music. Of course the scars will always be there… thanx for the article 🖤
Omg! You hit the nail on the head with this article. My adult son is about to marry a covert narcissist and everything you just described in this article has happened spot on. And as you also mentioned, this type of abuse and ghosting and just devaluation of the relationship that I had with my son has been probably the most challenging situation I’ve ever dealt with in my entire life. I just now feel like I’m coming through all of the grief and it’s been through articles such as these that have kept me from thinking I am going crazy! I pray everyday he’ll wake up and not marry her, and I also pray for joy everyday, despite the hole in my heart. My children dad became abusive/alcoholic and I had to leave with all 3 kids and completely start over. It was not easy, in the least, but we survived and became victors, so this is especially heartbreaking considering all we went through! THANK YOU THANK YOU for your articles! Very much appreciated!
There’s gotta be a way to take these narcissist down. No? Do we really just let them take our sons and daughters? If we’ve already lost them. Shouldn’t we fight back with all we have? Do whatever we can to expose them. Even if our children refuse to listen. Keep trying. Everyone says we have to let them go and apparently let the narcissist win. Really? How can we fight back and win? There’s gotta be a way.
Thank you for this article! I am experiencing this I lost my youngest son Nov 8/22… the pain has been gut wrenching…I have 3 sons..my daughter in law ( middle son) chose this grieving time to take a compliment I gave my son while he was on a business trip into an insult…she pretended to be ” afraid” to tell him ..the set up for the smear campaign was epic narsissistic fodder! Needless to say 1 week before they moved with my baby grandson( born 54 days after my youngest son passed) my son approached me about this so called insult..he was so hurt and upset…I stood there completely shocked…we had been through so much pain already and she picked this time to cause more hurt…with them leaving the province with my grandson as well…perfect timing to drive the knife into my heart…I had already been fighting for my mental health..the grief was crippling..I had quit my job to heal…yet no mercy from the disgusting narcissists agenda…you hit the nail on the head with the story about needing to be protected ect…they are truly fine actors. They have moved now and she just blocked me from her media accounts so I can’t see my grandson…my grandson who was my motivation to keep going…a light in the darkness of my grief. My son is unaware she has done this..I am keeping my mouth shut. So….in saying all this…I am very grateful to have done my homework on narssisim as I grew up with one. Bottom line is..she loves my son because of the values that he was raised with…he learned those from me and his father.
My life exactly! I tried all of the above with the narcissist my son married and still nothing. I was a doormat for all the insults she gave and lies she told. I finally figured out I’m just not good enough for some people so I leave it like that without looking back and move on in my life with the hope that some day he will come around.
Thank you for this article. It helped me to understand why my son’s girlfriend was trying to force a friendship with me. They just broke ties with me. She wouldn’t respect my boundaries, and I had enough. I lost my son, when they started dating. Every conversation on the phone was always monitored by her. We have a close knit family. I lost my son, and gained her. But, my son will always be in my heart, and will always be with me.
This direct clarity about what it is and what is ahead is very helpful. Everything described has happened – I raised my son from birth on my own and it was not easy. But until he met this women we were very close and even as an adult he would make time for a weekly call. Now I have been entirely cut out and my fears for my son are precisely what was stated in this article. Heartbreaking but necessary wisdom. Thank you
Thank you so much for making this article! This is a situation that so many families are going through, and it is just heart wrenching. My son married a narcissist also and it has been horrific. I have had to go no contact and step out of the triangulation. This is my son’s experience to go through and I hope and pray that he knows that I love him and he can always turn to me if he needs me. I can just imagine the horror his life must be with her because certainly turned nasty on us and we are not even her main source of supply. I certainly made mistakes before I actually knew what she was and I don’t want to make anymore.
We got the call tonight. My daughter in-law has got my son under her spell. It’s shocking but all the tactics were used. My son and I were close. All of the things she applied. Triangulation, gaslighting Divide and conquer. Manipulation . Projection Punish flying monkeys. I’m the bad guy. Never saw it coming. So my wife and I have lost our son. He was raised in a loving family. So sad. 😢
These articles are eye opening!! Every vid describes my ex. I thought I was the narc when the relationship ended. Then before it ended I remember she wanted me to not see my family as much and thought seeing em once a week even was too much!! What!!? Edit: Oh then one time I remember she came over and decided not to even say hello to my mom in her own home…!! I thank my lucky stars I was saved and got away
I am reading these comments and this is exactly what we have been experiencing for the last five years. It started practically on their wedding day. I feel empowered by educating myself, but it does not relieve the pain it causes. The alienation from our son is excruciating. There are 2 grandchildren now and considering a complete cutoff is also terribly painful. Whenever I have the chance, although it’s rare, I tell my son how much I love him. I do not know what else to do. She is the worst human being we’ve ever known.
This is my story only with my brother being married to a narsassist. You answered years of long agonizing questions, It is weird how it is almost a relief that there is nothing, NOTHING I can do to fix it, I drove myself crazy trying to figure out what I even did, for the life of me and then when I found out what the ” issue ” was, I was dumb founded, truly. It was ALL LIES, AND BIZARRE LIES AT THAT. All this time, it truly is out of my hands, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
Thank you so much for this. This has been ongoing for over 10 years now, and it’s played out almost exactly as you described. My relationship with my son is basically nonexistent at this point. I’ve done everything trying to fix things with him/them. All I can do at this point is continue to grieve what was once a very close relationship with my firstborn, and maintain an emotional distance so that they can’t hurt me any more. 😢
How did you know my sister in law so well? Lol You described her 100 percent. My only sibling and I were so closed till they got married. She took him away from our family. My brother treats us as if we are his enemy. He’s so closed to his wife family but treats us like trash. I feel so sorry for my Mom who loves him so much and he’s her first child and only son. Meanwhile this girl used to be so sweet on the initial stage of the relationship. I haven’t seen or talk to my brother in 3 years. After grieving for years I finally made a decision to go no contact from them and moving on with my life. I pray for him every day that one day God will open his eyes to the truth.
This is our story. I had NO clue about this. During their courtship When my son came to me for advice and support because he was close to breaking it off with her on MULTIPLE occasions.. I NEVER EVER suggested he proceed to break it off with her. On the contrary, I actually suggested ways for my son to help HER with HER lack of trust, HER jealousy and HER emotional wounds and for my son to show her that he is a good person that she can trust. I had NO clue to where this was headed. I was shocked someone could be this damaged emotionally and truly felt sorry for her.. .. and Yes, I am an Empath. Now, here we are completely estranged. His loving and wonderful childhood history has been re-written because according to my son now, I am a “manipulative narcissist”.. He rages at me on speaker phone with her beside him.. for the most random reasons. Thank you Lise for getting the word out.
Yes, it’s a no-win. Thank you for articulating what most people don’t comprehend, and can’t help us resolve. After 20+ years of the abuse you describe, and much effort to regain contact with my son, my only child, I was viciously attacked for trying to talk with my granddaughter, a teenager. My son was so exhausted by then with his wife redefining us as dreadful people, and instructing him to “punish” me and my husband, that I finally felt we had to withdraw in the hope that he’d awaken to the realities, reduce his stress and rebuild ourselves emotionally. Going on 3 months now without trying to reach him (we’ve been ghosted for years of course), and sadly, my hope is that my DIL will grow bored at the lack of an “opponent” or “challenge,” lose interest, and reveal herself, or look for a new partner, hurting but also hopefully freeing him to heal.
Absolutely 100% True! No- there is NO other way- Let go. It’s the most unbelievable pain of your life. When you get the loop hole to escape (and she’s going to create the perfect senecio for you to cut ties) TAKE IT- Because it’s freedom. Cry your tears that sting your cheeks- Join a Church because there are so many kids genuinely praying for a mom/mentor/grandma that will fill your heart and crave your love! Be blessed my sister. You can spend all the time you want with your Grandies in Heaven one day. xox
Lisa, I just found your website today and it was so helpful as my son came over to tell me that their marriage counselor told him to let me know he needed to cut off communication with me for a while so that they could focus on building their marriage relationship. The weird thing is that our communication with our son and his wife and family has been virtually nonexistent for over a year. She cut me out a long time ago and I have done my best to comply. I have not tried to spend time with them or my grandchild and for the most part I quit even sending him any text messages. Except for the few times when he called and asked if his dad could jump his car neither of us have been involved in their lives. I guess we will do our best to be a little more nonexistent but honestly it can’t change much from how it’s been for the last year. They have been married 2 1/2 years and have struggled pretty much from day 1. I am guessing the counsellor must have been led to believe that we had been meddling so I guess if that is what she had been led to believe I can understand why she would have given this advice. How common is it for a narcissist to fool a counselor? I would hope a counselor would be able to identify a narcissist
I was with a female covert narcissist for 10 years. Even during her love bombing phase, she was going to my family behind my back and telling lies on me (smear campaign) But she fake cried to them and told them how madly in love she was with me (to thwart the logical question of why stay with him if he’s so bad ?) She pleaded for them not to tell me, which they honored because the didn’t want to mettle. She succeeded in making me stop speaking to my step mother by fabricating a lie on her. She did the same smear campaign on me with neighbors, friends, my co workers. Anyone with ears. It wasn’t until after I divorced her that I found out the level, frequency, and ferocity of her lies. She committed numerous forgeries and identity thefts on me, as well as multiple affairs during our time together. They are truly demons !
after 10 years together, a marriage, a divorce and a reunification, I took my DIL back into the family although she was distant and found it easy to punish my son with silence and breakups, even asking for a divorce when something went wrong during the honeymoon! She’s trained him well. Apparently she put up with me to my face up until the babies were born. Then it was gloves off, not feeling ‘safe’ around me for small mistakes like interrupting her or making stupid jokes. When they weaponized the baby (you can’t see him unless you do xyzzy) I got angry and that sealed my fate, she’s taken over. Now they’re moving out of state. He’s afraid he’ll lose the babies so he’s her bitch and decided he has always had issues with me even though we never fought until the last year. He’s mean and critical of me. So I say nothing negative. Good advice here.
OMG – spot on – my life since my son got married. I’ve learned I have to be cautious of text or email (not that I email or text often), she reads everything. The kicker is I live in another state, I rarely see them or communicate with them because I’ve been bitten too often in the past. I was there a few weeks ago visiting and she wouldn’t let me hold my first grandson using the excuse that I traveled even though I tested negative for Covid and wore a mask. They have had plenty of other visitors on Sundays but she wouldn’t let me come on Sunday, I had to make Saturday work. They called me pushy for trying to schedule Sunday. My daughter came with me for the visit and afterwards I asked was there anything I did or say that was offensive. She said no but my DIL found something. She found drama in one line I wrote on my son’s birthday card. My son texted me after that this needs to stop as if it was my fault for her crazy making. This is never the life I imagined with my son and grandson but I can’t be around her walking on eggshells and she always seems to find a way to attack me and my son takes it. I’ve already experienced controlling manipulative types in my family and even ex-husband and it kills me to see my son living my history, and I can’t do anything about it, I can only be the soft place for him to fall if that time ever comes (and sadly I pray it does because I don’t want him to go through what I went through for too long).
You are a blessing and all of these uploads as you do them really highlight what my family is going through with this situation. I really hope this helps others dealing with this as much as it is helping us. The resources you are putting out are very needed in parts of the world no one would suspect such difficult times
Teresa..I’m so sorry for the loss of your child. And yes, you have to go through a grieving process when you lose someone through narcissistic evil. I never, ever imagined I’d have to deal with someone like this. These stories are hard to believe by those who aren’t aren’t living through it. It’s ongoing pain. I’m sorry you have to deal with this. It’s heartbreaking.
You’re amazing. Thank you. Hardly anyone focuses on this, but my family has been suffering (especially my mom & then me for defending my mom) for 13 years. Now that my brother had a stroke & is in the ICU, she won’t let anyone see him unless she is present, even if he has to sit alone for hours b/c not 1 person can do that 24/7. It’s been absolutely devastating.
Have gone through this with my family . I have gone no contact and will stay that way for my self care/self love. I also became the therapist! Really! I have been no contact since 2014 and have not met my only grand who is almost 5 now. I find it funny….i have seen a pic of her. She looks just like me when I was her age…..so I think this way…..every time they look at the beautiful little girl they are seeing me! 🙂 So if you are going through this…..stay grounded always, meditate…DO self love/care/forgiveness for yourself and “forget about’m. LIVE YOUR LIFE THAT YOU DESERVE! Be happy and kind. Let them go. it’s for your own good. You cannot dwell on a gerbil circle. Be positive. What you put into your mind is what sticks so be positive and laugh/dance your way through this beautiful new life and enjoy it with grace. Remember who YOU are.
For me it’s my daughter. 4 years alienated from me and all family and friends. Has 2 sons. All you said is exactly what happened with her toxic narcisist boyfriend she lives with! It’s all about him and how wonderful HIS family is to her!!!! I immediately saw his true colors. Got her immediately pregnant and immediately under his spell. Went no contact for couple years. Then I decided I wanted to fight. So took them to court to see my grandkids. Won both legal cases. Saw my grandkids through social assistance but at least I met them (4 and 2 yrs old). So I’m using the law against both of them. She has become worst than him so I decided I’m better off without this person. I didn’t raise the person she’s become. She used to be loving and caring to all. Now she’s a demon. Hopefully she’ll open her eyes one day. Until then I’m not letting him win without fighting.
My ex of 14 years was never able to bond with my children whom I had custody of. Her children were 10 years older than mine. Somehow she thought that I should buy her adult daughter a house after her adults daughter divorce. Even if I wanted to which I didn’t, there is no way I could afford to buy somebody else at home it was ridiculous. And at the same time she said I did too much for my children. Which again was ridiculous. She could not stand that I had friends, any friendship she had was very short-term. If I did have a friend at the house she would spend most of the time hiding in the bedroom. I could not understand it then and I still don’t.
This is such an accurate depiction of this kind of scenario. I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact my sister is a full blow narc. Her husband’s mother was very frail and disabled but a lovely woman. She was a widow and lived alone. She was found dead in her home a few years ago, and I couldn’t help but think she became a victim of my sister’s…. my sister is a greedy coldblooded manipulator. And I donyfoybt that she pressured her husband into going progressively more distant with his mother. Which I’m sure just devastated her. Now I’m the latest victim, I also have health issues so have had to rely on family help. They had gotten used to disrespecting me and treating me rudely so when I regained more independence I distanced myself from them but maintained polite necessary communications… this didn’t stop me from receiving many “punishments”…. anything less then allowing them to stomp all over you is treason and punishable by death.
My son has been narried to a narcissist for 15 years. I have watched him change drastically, all the while dealing with my from my narc daughter-in-law. She started using me ads a supply as well. Living within one blick from each other has made this do difficult. I tried to mai tain a relationship with my son but the narc just reinforced his usolation. It is a very difficult dynamic to deal with.
This is SICK and SO EVIL.. Now, I understand.. Many many years My son and our family we search deep in our heart and soul and still have not find any fault that we have done wrong to these SICK Evil discussing people come in our life’s to treat us so horribly. As a mom, I deeply so sad and heartbreaking is so hard raising a good kind heart son in this world. but “weak”. Every words you said in this article is to the exact. I deal with these evil people many many years. Honest to GOD in heaven.. Let me tell you.. The NARS may change its good color only momentarily but PLEASE 🙏please just don’t believe them. They will go back to their evil ways any time and any moment you just don’t know (WHEN). NO ONE WILL SEE IT COMING.. PLEASE don’t believe that they changed. NORMAL People with right mind, a warm heart will clearly changed behaving badly. But the NARS never change.. You will loose your son to the NARS that’s their #1 goal. Your son will stay away from you and his family.. Your son knows everything but he can not do nothing. Sons will choose their children’s and the vagina to complete them. Exactly this happened to me and the rest of our family.. My sons is LOST in to the NARS HAND because sons said he love his children’s. . My dear God, this must be a punishment? how do I and my sons ever come across these SICK, EVIL PEOPLE in our life. HOW DO THESE people EXCIST IN EARTH.. WHY? and How?
Geez I thought maybe you were answering MY question. It sounded so exactly my situation. It’s been 3 and 1/2 years since we’ve had any contact with our son and grandson. They did have another child – I believe – but never heard it from them. What an utter nightmare. Knowing my son is just being abused and mentally torn to pieces by his chosen wife. He used to love our family so much. Now he can’t even talk to any of us. I hope hell has a special place for her.
The one glaring difference we had in our situation was she was never anything but cool and aloof with us. It’s like she came in and knew she already had him locked down (she did and he was oblivious to her treatment of us) and began with letting us know she already had total control and wouldn’t even bother to try and charm us. She is silent and sly as a snake. She has my step-son treating my husband like complete garbage.
I was so for the marriage. My son can be difficult but she was so passive. I thought they were perfect together until they had a baby. Now she is the boss of everything and he cannot visit with family unless she says so. We have only been nice and helpful. He cannot visit his loving older brother unless she goes. His brother is wonderful and there is no reason to alienate him. Why do this?
Mine is just beginning Just found out my son married a gosh awful girl They married in January I’m not going to fight for him I already know it’s a losing battle. I have poured 21 years into his life for nothing but heart ache. I’m moving on. After he hits rock bottom, maybe he will come around but I’m not waiting
This is what’s going on with my dad’s marriage to my stepmom. They’ve been married 15 years and in that time she has systematically isolated him from every single member of his family. She was there when he threw me out of the house, pulling the strings I’m sure, then to console him while we were estranged. Now he’s back in my life and I can see her for what she truly is, and the mental gymnastics he’s doing just to defend her shitty behavior are literally exhausting him. It’s really sad, like he’s brainwashed. There’s just a part of him that I don’t get to access because of the control she has over him. Every time we come to an understanding that her behavior is unacceptable, it’s completely undone by the next time I talk to him. This is bullshit and I want my dad back
My wife and I are going through this with my stepdaughter, who has been isolated by our son-in-law and his overbearing mother. Prior to this my wife and her daughter were close. Now our daughter is in full lockstep with everything the son-in-law wants, called my wife and I names, and shut off contact with us. We backed off, left her alone, and just hope one day she wises up.
My narcissistic DIL has no intention of cutting us out of their lives as long as we give them money and other things that she wants. She saw us as a blank check when planning her wedding. And they rarely thank us for anything or show any gratitude. My son has cut many people out of his life, including a cousin he was very close to.
I am the sister. My mom, brother and I were so close. Then this dramatic manipulating passive aggressive little girl has alienated us from him and his kids. I got sick of the bs and called her a selfish narcissitic brat. That was a big no no but enough was enough. My mother on the other hand never talked to her any wrong way and still receives the same treatment so after my husband was disrespected from my brother…. thay sent me over the edge. All this article speaks the truth. I am so sorry all these people in the comments are yearning for their child and can’t be a family bc someone has narcissitic personality disorder and the dysfunction is always catered to. Ugh! It’s so heartbreaking.
You’ve just explained my life with this evil evil narcissist. She has managed to take a healthy relationship that was once precious to me…and I know him too and make me out to be some wicked mother-in-law. I told her early on that my biggest fear was that he would choose a woman that did the very things she’s done, so she made it seem to him like it was just me and she really loved me. All the while sayimg things to me like, “why does he lean on you and his dad so much”…”why does he ask you guys opinion about buying our house. I think we can do it ourselves”. I bought my grandchild things for her room and she said she didnt want them because it didnt go with her style. She has pucked arguments with the other daughter in law and isolates my son and now he and I barely talk because I call her out of her crap! I cant live life with her in it if she is going to cause everyone else to be miserable, so Ive resolved myself to the inevitable truth that I cant change it and I choose peace over the drama she wants and creates for everyone. She has twisted me in knots and has been so covert that only I loose no matter what action I take. I have to let my son go and its really hard because his is my only son now. His brother was killed by a drunk in an accident. I pray God will reveal her own heart to her because I refuse hatred, bitterness and conflict and will not allow myslef to become what she has become. Although Im greived because I dontchave much of a relationship with my son now, I have peace in my choice hoping at least he wont be in the middle of us anymore.
You are very close to talking about our current situation but not only has my son been manipulated by his Jezebel now wife of a year…they/she just managed to persuade our daughter…it was a somewhat slow toxic persuasion but they did…she’s 20 and in college 3 hrs away. She has slandered and lied about us and convinced my son to do the same! We have tried everything from apologizing to offering to go to counseling. He (they) both refuse because I’m sure she refuses! We just backed off and let them have their “space!” Mostly so we can heal ! Unbelievable! NEVER EVER WOULD I have ever dreamed nor imagined this would ever happen! The last near two years has been such heartbreaking and we can’t wrap our heads around it! We were a close, happy family before she came along honestly! The sheep and wolves clothing will be found out! 😂What Satan intended for evil God will turn into good! Every lie shall show forth to be in the wrong! God quenches every fiery dart of the enemy, and he shuts the mouth of the enemy! The battle belongs to him! As for me, and my household, we shall serve the Lord! The truth always comes up! I pray for my kids daily! I have to trust that God will give us the strength to walk through this as well as work on their (our) hearts! Prayers for healing, wholeness, restoration, peace, and joy for all those in the same situation in Jesus name amen!🙏🏼❤️🩹
This is happening to our family right now my brother married a narcissist and haven’t seen him for a few years now. My parents are heartbroken. Worst thing for us is her mother is also one but she was more noticeable. Everything went wrong for us at the wedding as her mother accused my mother of something she didn’t do. We made the mistake of trying to stand up to them as the whole thing was over something so little. She cut him off from his whole family and when we saw him at work one time she made him work from home. We had arguments and which fuelled the narc further to paint us in a bad light to my brother. He believes that she is making sure he doesn’t get hurt by us but we would never 😢. We aren’t allowed to know where he lives as my mum tried to go and speak to my brother and we got accused of stalking. We are only allowed to contact him over social media no numbers. He’s trapped with them. He also had a car accident with her before the wedding where she had injuries from so she will probably be hurting him with that too. They are the worst people they appear nice at first then ruin your family 😢
This nightmare is happening right now with my brother. His girlfriend of 5 + years has isolated him completely from our side of the family. I can only see my nephew via the few social media pictures he posts. It’s so heart breaking that he’s really chosen this live-in girlfriend over his own mother and family. Not to mention, (to put it nicely) she’s not even his type aesthetically! He refuses to marry her but rather shack up and live in sin! They are both using eachother! I also have a cousin who actually married his narcissist! They have two beautiful children together. Well, my second cousin’s family has decided to kiss up to the wife in order to get time with their grandchildren. My family has decided to play the long game and pray and wait for my brother to break up with the darn narcissist! Holidays certainly are triggering. I miss my brother so much! He was my best friend. We always played article games together and he is the only person who can make me laugh so much! Both of my family members are very handsome but over the years with the women they’ve chosen, their facial features have depleted a great deal. They both have this face puffiness about them now and darker under eye circles. The cortisol and stress is showing in their faces. My biggest piece of advice is to just pray that God turns the situation around in your favor! Only God can fix this. Poking the ant hill only makes matters worse. I know that my brother misses us! All I can do is pray and ask for God to send me new friends and people I consider family in the meantime!
I am a son of a mother who has been through this exact description. The woman I married, I met in a foreign country she love bombed the crap out of me and my mom in the very beginning. I eventually get her to the United States, because I thought we were truly in love. After my wife gets pregnant, the day that my daughter was born, everything changed. So if you’re a parent going through this, I just got to tell you look for these warning signs communicate with your children and they don’t make the person mad that you even have any contact or that you’re even talking about their relationship and then they’ll blame your son for it or daughter. But I’m not a point now where I’ve been with her for 10 years I have two kids with her and I am filing for divorce for the second time it’s no joke.
It becomes extremely hard because you have to hope and pray the child in question can recognize this. My bro is in this exact situation his wife has full blown launched assaults at me over 26 years and finally this year I’m the bad guy and his mother all of a sudden doesn’t care about them. Narcissistic people are horrible.
Oh my, I had no idea this was so pervasive. I don’t feel so alone now, knowing it’s not just me. She pursued him relentlessly when he was only 23 and she was 32. It was his first serious relationship, but she’d had several…ie, she knew what she was doing; he was naive. He is my only child. We had always been so close, and she felt threatened by that. I tried to warn him but he only resented me for it. I was powerless to stop the damage she was doing… all of the hateful seeds she was planting in her “sweet” passive aggressive way. My sweet son turned into someone I no longer recognized. After a final devastating betrayal by my son, at her insistence, I was the one who went “no contact”. They live together, no children, and together almost 10 years. As others here have said, the grief is real. My heart is shattered. My only hope is that he wakes up and sees her for what she is. I’m almost 70. I hope to God it happens before I die because I don’t want him to live the rest of his life with guilt and regret. I’ll love him forever.
I went through this with my son. She became transparent (really crazy, in fact). He divorced her, lived with me for 5 years (while working, helping me through the pandemic, and committing to multi-generational living), and now he’s met another one!! They are both living in my lower level suite right now (after 3 months of dating), and she is starting the process of alienating him from me after unitially pretending shd also supports multi-generational living (she is a recentnimmigrant from a country where this is common including in her own nuclear family). Remarkably, he is falling for it again (she is much better at it). I am encouraging them to get their own place to enable me to better enjoy my relationships with his brothers. I am not going to fight it this time- he’ll be back.
Great piece. But I think my approach here is relevant. I have always taken things (relationships) very seriously. As seriously as anyone. Seriously. But I live my life by one commandment: YOU CAN ONLY LOSE SOMETHING ONCE. This business of acting like you’re losing something or somebody a million times? What is the point? It took me a lot of time to understand that and to stop seeing things as something they are not. I guess my life is important. More important than ripping my hair out because I made earlier bad decisions or my grown kids are “learning” the hard way about theirs. Focus on what works. And if that isn’t yielding you much – disengage. And by the way, Narcissists can’t deal with apathy. They feed off the “engagement” of others. When you simply don’t care what fn assholes they act like, it drives them nuts.
My son is with a person like this, she even said in front of others that I was trying to break them up! He’s been with her 6 years. I’m never invited over. He rarely calls or sees me. He tells others that I don’t like his girlfriend, not the case, she despises me. She’s trying to keep my son from me. I tried to warn him years ago. He wouldn’t listen. I don’t have A family or support group. He’s all I have and she wants to take all I have away! She’s a great actress has even fooled me. I was thinking, she’s changed! Nope it’s all an act. My son is a handsome successful man. He takes her on trips to expensive places, she doesn’t speed a dime I’m never invited. We were supposed to go on a trip alone. Then she’s coming? Can’t he spend two days without her alone with his mom? He’s been in therapy. I don’t think it really helped. He needs someone like you. I want him to be happy. I raised him. I don’t know where I went wrong? He’s said mean things to many times, lied to me. I feel like I’m losing all I have in the world I’m depressed, I rarely go out. Don’t eat much. Don’t sleep well. Chronic migraines. he’s becoming more like her. I know she’s turning him against me. Why would he side with her over me? Or allow her to talk to me like dirt? He’s spent thousands on her, she’s not good for him. She has no ambition, doesn’t want to work, Doesn’t even cook dinner for him. He has microwave meals sent to his place. I don’t know what he sees in her? She has gained weight, doesn’t seem to care about how she looks anymore.
Much of this describes my son in law perfectly. Some does not. We absolutely believed him to be the ideal partner for our daughter. And he made her feel great about herself. Then they got married. I think their relationship took an immediate turn south. He apparently started holding permanent grudges against us before the wedding, but he kept playing the part. It was 6 months after the wedding that a nasty argument between them left my daughter crying in her mother’s arms. Her mother texted him that he needed to man up and come take care of his wife. That was not taken well. But his vindictiveness and eternal grudges is manifested by ghosting rather than trying to be present for control. He ghosted each of us one by one. It was largtly my daughter’s complete change in both personality and ideology that led to our current complete estrangement. I’m leaving a lot out, and our behavior left much to be desired as well, but i dont think it did more than to hasten the inevitable.
My DIL who I have only ever seen 5 times in almost 5 years started creating a mental list the first time I met her. The first time I met her, I thought she was adorable and kind. It was only a 45 minute dinner. Little did I know she was already compiling evidence to present to my son at a later date. A few concerns I had was when they got engaged, she made my son wear a wedding ring before their wedding. She also made him drop out of college, because of the girls he might meet there and none of his friends were really invited to the wedding except a few. The second time I saw her was when she attended Thanksgiving for the first time, she was laughing while I was talking about how important the holiday was to my deceased Mother. I said something not only to her, but my other kids sitting around her about the lack of respect. In her break up letter, she said I cry about everything. That includes me crying the day my dad was taken off of life support. The third time I saw her was at her bridal shower which I attended from out of state. She did not introduce me to anyone. I felt so uncomfortable. The fourth and fifth time I saw her was at their wedding. Not only was I not allowed to help in any way in planning or preparation but she got the entire wedding party flowers except me and her mom, because if she got her mom a corsage, it would look too obvious. I did help pay for the entire grooms family to attend the wedding including hotel and transportation and food and got the bride and groom gifts and gave them money.
I’m living this nightmare now. She is even punishing me by not letting me see my granddaughters. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced. All I can do is pray about it. My heart has been broken since I truly saw who she was. As years pass, it just gets worse. There is no resolution for me, I’m walking a thin line, and I’m tired of it. Prayers for anyone else who has experienced this… 😢🙏
My son was named after my Dad. My Dad (and I) lived with and were abused by my incredibly narcissistic mother. My Dad experienced so much pain. My mom always was isolating him from family; right down to long-distance phone calls. My son is now living the same life as his Poppa did. A lifetime of pain. She and her narc Mom control everything. I ache for him every moment of every day. He will eventually leave her one way or another…I hope he makes the decision and it is not made for him due to physical issues from the stress like my Dad. I know I won’t be alive when the day comes. I am only grateful that I have 2 Granddaughters (I have never met) who will adore him and recognize, as I did, what kind of horrible mother they have, when they become adults.
The same story with two of my three sons, the third is a narc. But I think it’s a choise to be one. It’s always of being hurt and so on don’t choose the be a victim. Don’t abuse others because one they it will turn against you. You can’t help your sons or warn the girlfriend. They have to learn from it them selves, because they will not listen to anything. They will leave you without even talking to you. Let them the best way is to heal yourself you are a good parent and they will come back ones they are ready.
I am dealing with this and it’s breaking my heart to point I have to harden my heart after so many years I was told how it wasn’t appreciated that I signed a birthday card to my step grandson Mommaw T … Ever since my son got married n she got pregnant I wasn’t even invited to the baby reveal most hurtful thing I have felt .
Last two years I have been in relationship with narcissist when I realise it’s not a relationship which can fall apart from my parents friends.she is always finding the way to manipulative me abuse me I am doing the same what she did to me if she block me I block her back and I stop defending my self with sick demon now she knows she tactic never be work .one things I wanna tell focus on your self this will be the best revenge to these kind of people .thnks for uploading these kind of content ma’am really grateful to you .
OMG! This clip is so so so accurate! This happened to my brother for 30 years. Just like a praying mantis, his narcissistic ex wife dragged him into her family’s house, just a couple of month into the relationship, she isolated him from our entire family and all his friends (probably by bad mouthing all of us in front of him, but also by overtly creating conflicts with everyone and expecting him to defend her, which he did, like a tiger… ). So she brain washed him for years and we, the family, just stopped trying to reach out cause every time she created drama. After 30+ years of marriage, he caught her cheating (so classic narcissistic discard) and they divorced (another complicated drama for another time), but he still sees our mother as the “no 1 enemy” and he acts very cautiously with the rest of the family. So I guess there is no easy way out of all those years of brain washing. Maybe, Ms Leblanc could explain in another clip how to heal a family relationship after the narcissistic female gets out of the picture, if they ever (cause for sure, we couldn’t do anything before she released the grip on him).
Wow! Yes this is very good. I am going thru this currently although I’m the son. I have been married to the narc for 13 years with 3 young children. In the process of taking care of it. I could write a book the length of Gone with the wind on Narcissism. Or married to a narc and effect on spouse and children.
Your estranged adult child (EC) is in bondage. Anyone that had a relationship before your EC’s spouse came along will be removed. The whole family plus your EC’s friends. The spouse will only allow their family in unless they are estranged from them too. It is amazing that a lot of EC’s don’t wake up to this emotional/phycological bondage, but their Narc spouse will keep their pathological influence going daily. If your EC starts to question their isolation too much, their spouse will start making threats. And yes, whatever you say to your son or daughter will be repeated to their spouse. That will get you shunned. Know this, your estranged son or daughter is in a very bad marriage. Hopefully, things will get so bad that they will divorce their crazy spouse. But, you will never trust your son or daughter again.
For all of you who are dealing with a narcissistic woman, I say this, be compassionate towards them. Give them their due love and respect and stay the hell away from them as much as possible. Live your own best life. If they, son too, come around, good, if not, you’re too busy to notice that absence. Easy. The narcissistic woman that i know makes hilarious lies about me. It’s so entertaining to me. I don’t let that bring me out of character. Instead, i tell myself that I love her like a sister, and I would never say or do anything that would demean her at the expense of defending myself. While she continues to slander my name, 20 years, I honestly feel bad for them. They are mentally miserable at all times. At the end of their lives, they have destroyed themselves, not you. Justice is yours, don’t feel sorrow, be glad that you’re not the narcissist, be proud of yourself. They’re perpetually in pain anyways, never satisfied with any amount of affection, attention, money or relationships until they become god themselves. That’s what they ultimately want to become, god.
This is my reality. My son sees it for what it is and understands what he is up against. He is trying to figure out how to honor God, his marriage vows, and his parents. The whole mess is heartbreaking. As Christians we must learn to die to ourselves and give grace where it is undeserved. Still it is helpful to know what to expect and have boundaries and a planned response to the drama.
My covert narcissist ex-wife did this exact thing to my parents. Then 20 years later, my adult daughter married a covert malignant narcissist. After the love bombing phase, he slowly started abusing my twin granddaughters, my daughter’s kids from a previous marraige. Over a period of 1 1/2 years, he increased the harm. To my shock, my daughter not only allowed the abuse, she started joining with him to harm her on children. In 2007 things had gotten so bad that we had to call Child Services. To keep from getting in trouble, they immediately skipped town and started hiding out in a rural location in a different state. They have not allowed us contact with my daughter or grandchildren since 2007.
just like all the other hurt people here, im another victim of a covert narcissist, who is my daughter inlaw. I lost my mother 6 months ago and she absolutely adored my son, they both had a really good connection, but it most certainly become much more distant as time went on. My mum felt the same as me with my son, we were both mouring my son and his daughter who soon will be 3 years old. All I can do is pray for God to give me strength and to guide me to continue to be kind and loving. Im about to see my grandson for the first time, born on 22-06-2023. I am really scared to make a mistake because Im really scared of my daughter inlaw and I get picked on for the most seemingly irrelevant things. Im just so sad because i have a lot of love to give.
My mother in law was so passive aggressive towards me but I still made sure she was called, visited, sent Mothers Days presents, etc. Before she died she needed help monetarily and I made sure she was. I thought maybe I am not a desirable in law. But she was treated very well. I told her that my husband will always treat her well weather she likes me of not, and that she deserves alone time with him. She told me she always appreciated how I treated her. Now I am in the opposite position. My son never puts me first. My family wasnt even invited to the wedding…..only her side. Everything is about her family and even my other child has been alientated. Life has become so depressing……….
My husband and I are dealing with the reverse problem: a narcissistic mother-in-law. He was actually the first to suggest she might be a narcissist, and the more we watched articles describing narcissistic behavior, it really seemed to fit what we have experienced. As a couple, we have chosen to limit our visits to two nights, We are choosing not to share vulnerable things with them, and we don’t call as often as we used to because it is so unhealthy. But perusal this article… I can’t help but think that if she were to find a article like this, she would call me the toxic one! 😢Even though it is my husband who has worked hard on his mental health and has chosen to set these boundaries, she blames me for separating him from her, and has become increasingly harsh with what she says about me as a person and as a mother. 😢 I hope we never have to completely cut anyone out of our lives, we are just setting boundaries so that the unkind and unhealthy behavior doesn’t impact us as deeply. I feel a lot of compassion for her because I know that some of this is due to her unhealthy family as a child, but she has also made her own choices. she is not a safe person and I know we will never be close .
I went through this for several years with my Son who has two sons with the covert narcissist. I agree when you say it was the worst time of my life. When they were having problems my relationship with my son was good, but then she would perform her voodoo on his brain and he’d pull away and not talk to me for months. It was awful. He separated from her so many times I lost count. But I’m happy to say he FINALLY has seen the truth after many years, is seeing a therapist, and has custody of my two grandsons. (That’s how bad this woman is) Our relationship is on the mend and I’m able to have a relationship with my grandsons. It’s an awful experience to go through but because I did my own research and was able to understand what really was happening I was able to get to a place of acceptance and understanding which helped me cope.
What do I do when my son, jumps on the bandwagon and I have never gotten involved in his relationships, also I am no longer allowed to see my grandson, he is behaving like her. I don’t understand some of the things I’ve been blamed for. She gets on his phone immediately and pretends to be him, saying horrible things, then he pretends he didn’t know she had his phone. So, now I no longer unblock him to even say happy birthday. Today is his 32nd birthday and I haven’t said HB since he was 28. He has no contact with anyone, my dad and mom have never even met their grandson.
Can you do a article explaining what happens when a group of narcissists exist and all feed of the same people… lets say a situation where multiple narcissist are fighting for one person attention. Lets say a friend, parent, significant other and a boss are all fighting for one codependent or one covert narcissists time and supply. How dangerous can this get ?? Why does it seem like narcissists are closely linked or surround by other narcissists. Currently i am embroiled in a situation where my significant other seems to be a covert.. yet her mother, boss, friend and myself & even my relatives all fight for her time. It has gotten out of control and at a certain point i stepped back and there is still an on going smear campaign by the other parties… what is one to do in a situation like this if fleeing is not possible ?
What is really sad is when your son says, “I don’t want to be alone.” So he knows and basically hasn’t had the balls to tell her to f$@k off. He should have done this years ago. I know if his dad and I had not moved to another state after he started dating her he wouldn’t have stayed with her. He was young and naive. Everything that has happened according to the narc is my fault. I think this personality disorder should have movies or documentaries about it to warn people. So many don’t know what it is and there are plenty that have this disorder. My son will call and talk with his dad but not me. I only get a text or a few minutes to ask him how he is if I answer his call? It’s up to him if and when he’s had enough of her. Thank God they never had children.
Listen to what Lies says here! This is happening to me. My DIL has banned me from their home. I am allowed to see my son and granddaughter every other month,on a Saturday afternoon and Sunday am. My husband and I drive 7 hrs each way for these ” crumbs”, but it’s better than no contact at all. It’s painful. Like Lise says,get support. It helps to work through the grief of losing your isolated son ( or daughter) and grandkids.
I am torn inside beyond words…my only child (my daughter) is a narcissist, and has completely cut me and her dad off. My husband’s father is a narcisisst, and dark, horrible man, and cut his own family off (parents and siblings) when he was a young man, and then limited his time with his son (my husband) and his only granddaughter (my daughter). He demeaned our family all the time, and his wife was so controlled by him that she followed suit. My daughter has her grandfather’s genes. She is 26 yrs old now, and about 6 years ago she pulled away from me and her dad, and put limitations on when she would see us. She never would drop by or see us alone, only at dinners with her live-in boyfriend, and on holidays. Now she has totally cut us off, and falsely accused me of being controlling and demeaning to justify her cruel actions. Her boyfriend likes us, and knows we are good parents, but he is controlled by her and will not stand up for us, and is silent. We knew she was like her grandfather, but did not expect her to cut us off as things had been good, even though she limited her time with us. We had backed off and let her control when she wanted to see us. When she was 16 yrs old is when we suspected she was a narcissist. She had no empathy, and started growling at me and her dad if we got close to her or tried to hug her. I am going through a difficult grief and loss period…very hard to endure because I love her. What is hard is that she feels nothing for us….
Wow this was helpful but makes me very sad. I was so naive in the beginning especially when “she” was so happy to see the closeness of my son and I and thought that was an indication of how he would treat her. Fast forward I am doing everything for them and helped my son with many of the wedding arrangements to the point where I made myself sick. Post wedding I am dropped like a hot potato. My birthday goes unnoticed and Christmas is all about gifts for them and the kids. Thank God his daughter’s mother sees this and has offered for me to see my granddaughter. His new wife rags on the little girls mom constantly and most recently my granddaughter started her cycle while she was with my son and they would not let her call her mother. That was the icing on the cake for me. The new wife has now ghosted me and given me the silent treatment when we are at sporting events. It hurts my heart and I am working with it the best I can. Doing lots of praying especially for my granddaughter.
You hit the head on the nail…She kept her family of Hondurans from us, so we met them without her knowing…you know BBQ and beer! We induced our Cajun lifestyle behind every door she locked, including buying a new home across her street. So we turned out to be the babysitters for five years, yea! Since then she’s been on an all out assault. After three tours in Nam she is a nothing burger. Our son respects us more than ever as he wishes he could do the same. We get a lot of bad texts from her that we print out for a someday defense, it’s that bad along with the grammar. We respond like a parent with a upset child. After twenty years I remember everything which is why she can’t hide anything.
Hi all.I am Theo from NZ. The love bombings it was chest unreal but with times I started to meet the family, then little bit when I see the behavior the family. The relationship with Lorraine started to deteriorated severe the family is a cult of narcissist. Really dangerous people. Lorraine she righting a letter to my sister requesting to relise financial fund’s we have together when my sister recived she was not really happy because the blackmails. Financial I see Lorraine drop her mask. Pleased everyone really leasing the advice. Really DANGEROUS PEOPLES.
I have had this very same experience, as you all. It’s utterly heartbreaking. My d-I-l waited until they had a baby, my first grandchild, to discard me and make things harder for my son. This is my story exactly and he seems to tread between her story and the truth, but has to settle with her. She gets suicidal if he sees me. She’s more borderline I think. But there’s so much overlap. In the end, I have nothing but a broken heart. It’s a nightmare.
This described my situation with my son and his partner, She controls his every move. They have a son and its my son that does all the caring for him and everything else. She sits on her backside all day on her phone…my son cant or wont see it. She controls his relationship with my and his dad. I used to give her the benefit of the doubt but more and more she lives up to my gut instinct.