When A Man Shows Hesitation About Meeting Your Family:?

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When a partner is hesitant to introduce you to their family, it may indicate that they are not ready for a serious relationship. This can be a sign that they are not ready to fully understand your relationship and are not ready to make the necessary connections. Here are 25 signs to look out for:

  1. He expresses genuine interest in your family: When your partner begins to show genuine curiosity about your family, asking questions about your relationship with them, it suggests that he envisions a lasting commitment and wants to ensure compatibility between you and his loved ones.
  2. Meeting friends and family seems off-limits: A man who can truly envision a future with you will want to integrate you into all parts of his life, including introducing you to his family. If you feel that your partner doesn’t feel a need to connect with them, it could be because you come from a big family that has remained close.
  3. He keeps your relationship hidden: If he is hesitant to introduce you to his friends or family, or actively hides the fact that he’s dating you, it’s a major red flag. A genuine connection involves integrating you into his life.
  4. He keeps your relationship hidden: If he keeps your relationship hidden or actively hides the fact that he’s dating you, it can mean that he may not believe you and may not be willing to meet your family.

There are many reasons why your partner might not take you to meet his family, such as being a player or a temporary lack of confidence. You can ask him outright “Why not?” if his answer is evasive or leaves you feeling uncomfortable.

  1. He feels like he’s moving along faster in his relationship. If he feels like he’s not ready for this step, it’s important to ask him why he’s dragging his feet on the introduction and communicate how it makes you feel to not know his family.
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📹 How To Get The Shy Guy

*** In this week’s episode of LOVELife, I take a question from Tasha on what to do when the guy she likes is shy, and how to go …


How Do You Know When A Guy Is Not Serious
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How Do You Know When A Guy Is Not Serious?

If a man exhibits inconsistent communication, frequently disappears, or only reaches out when convenient, it may signal a lack of commitment. Signs he isn’t serious include avoiding deep conversations, making limited efforts, and sending mixed signals. He may focus primarily on physical aspects of the relationship while avoiding labels and displaying disrespectful behavior. If he isn't making future plans or prioritizing time with you, it's questionable how serious he is.

After a while together, it's reasonable to wonder about relationship status, but if he cancels dates or doesn't make you feel like a priority, those are red flags. A serious partner will invest time in meaningful conversations and demonstrate interest in your future together.

A man who is sincere will communicate consistently, make an effort to get to know you on a deeper level, and include you in his life by introducing you to friends and family. If he often bails, you’re not a priority, and shows little interest in your life, it's likely he is not ready for a serious relationship.

Ultimately, pay attention to these indicators: lack of commitment in planning, limited communication, superficial interaction, and avoiding important discussions about the future. These are all signs he may not want a serious connection.

Is It A Red Flag If He Doesn T Want You To Meet His Family
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Is It A Red Flag If He Doesn T Want You To Meet His Family?

If your partner hasn't introduced you to his family or friends after nearly a year of dating, it’s a potential red flag indicating he may not be serious about the relationship. While not meeting family isn't always a cause for concern—sometimes it can reflect attempts to protect you or maintain privacy—there are significant signs to consider. If you feel that your questions about meeting his family provoke discomfort, it warrants further attention.

The concept of "pocketing" arises when a partner deliberately avoids including you in their social life. This can lead to emotional isolation and may indicate deeper issues, such as a fear of disapproval from family or a reluctance to fully commit.

According to psychologists, the dynamics between you and your partner’s family can greatly influence your relationship's future. If he pressures you to distance yourself from your own family, this is another red flag. Ultimately, meeting each other's families is a crucial step in defining the seriousness of a relationship. If he has met your family but you haven't met his, it raises questions about his intentions.

Lack of introductions can imply he isn’t ready for a long-term commitment or may be involved with someone else. Open communication about these concerns, including the idea of meeting his family, is essential for understanding where you both stand.

Should A Man Meet Family Members If He'S Dating Someone Casually
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Should A Man Meet Family Members If He'S Dating Someone Casually?

Some men struggle with exclusivity, making the introduction of family members a significant step. It's possible he may be casually dating others and wants to avoid overlapping introductions to friends and family. Ideally, I wouldn't need to meet my partner's family, but I recognize it's essential for most people who are close to their families. Although my avoidant personality might delay this, I would do it if the relationship is serious. Meeting family can induce anxiety, often indicating that things are getting serious.

For instance, in Asian culture, introducing someone to family suggests a significant commitment. Casual dating removes the pressures of exclusivity, but it raises questions about emotional intimacy and connection. Introducing a man to my family usually signifies that I see potential for a lasting relationship. Rule 8 advises against meeting family members during casual encounters, focusing instead on emotional boundaries. When dating someone new, the timing of family introductions can vary—one month, six months, or even a year.

It's essential to gauge whether interactions with family reflect a serious or casual relationship. Meeting family members can reveal intentions, yet it doesn't always mean he’s ready to commit fully. The dynamics truly depend on family values and the seriousness of the relationship.

What Does It Mean When A Man Doesn'T Introduce You To His Family
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What Does It Mean When A Man Doesn'T Introduce You To His Family?

There can be many reasons why he hasn't introduced you to his family, such as: he may be unaware of your desire to meet them, he could be distant from his family, or he might dislike them. Factors like family distance and relationship readiness during Covid Times could also play a role. If you've been dating for a while and he still hasn’t introduced you to his friends or family, it may indicate a lack of seriousness in the relationship.

Pocketing refers to when someone avoids introducing their partner to loved ones. If he doesn't see a future with you, he may feel no reason to make those introductions. A man who truly cares would typically be proud to include you in his social circles. However, if you’ve been together for months with no meeting arranged, it’s a warning sign he may be hesitant about commitment.

Refusing to introduce you is a clear indication of disinterest or a lack of desire to integrate you into his life. This could be due to his belief that his friends and family wouldn't accept you, or perhaps the opposite—concerns that you might not approve of them.

Ultimately, if he’s unwilling to acknowledge you in his social life, it often reflects that he does not deem you significant enough to integrate into those relationships.

How Long Should You Date Before Meeting Family
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How Long Should You Date Before Meeting Family?

When considering the right time to introduce a partner to your family, the general consensus suggests waiting about 3 to 6 months of dating. This period allows for a deeper connection and an understanding of the relationship's seriousness. While some may prefer to meet parents sooner, especially in cases of strong emotional bonds, introductory meetings are typically deemed premature within the first 1-3 months. Experts suggest that if you’re in a committed relationship but haven't met the parents after a few months, it may indicate discomfort with intimacy or commitment.

Many dating experts argue that waiting at least three months, or having met each other's friends first, is reasonable. Wyatt Fisher, a clinical psychologist, recommends a minimum of three months before introducing family, while others suggest a cautious approach that may extend to six months. Ultimately, the decision varies according to personal preferences, relationship progression, and individual comfort levels.

At the end of the day, if both partners feel confident and the relationship seems meaningful, that may signify the right time to introduce them to family, regardless of the elapsed time. What matters most is the intent behind the meeting rather than the duration of the relationship.

When Should New Boyfriend Meet Family
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When Should New Boyfriend Meet Family?

Introducing a partner to friends and family is a significant milestone in a relationship, but there is no universally applicable timeline. Dating experts often suggest waiting around three months, but factors such as the relationship's nature and frequency of meetings can affect this timing. For instance, long-distance couples may require more time than those who meet regularly. When contemplating introductions, it's essential to consider the relationship's seriousness and communication between partners.

A strong relationship typically warrants introductions after three to six months, allowing time to navigate the initial bliss and gauge compatibility. Parents are advised to keep introductions low-key and short, especially if children are involved. Engaging in discussions about relevant issues and monitoring how partners connect with one another is crucial. Ultimately, the best time for introductions is when both partners feel comfortable and ready, ideally after confirming the exclusive nature of their relationship and envisioning a future together. While pressures like the holiday season may prompt early meetings, patience often leads to better integration and understanding among families.

Why Does A Guy Avoid Bringing You Around His Family
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Why Does A Guy Avoid Bringing You Around His Family?

When a guy avoids introducing you to his family, it might indicate he isn't serious about the relationship. Meeting parents is a significant step, suggesting he's not ready for such commitment. If you've been dating for some time without any introductions to his friends and family, it's evident that he doesn't see a future together. This phenomenon is referred to as "pocketing," where partners are not introduced to important aspects of each other's lives.

There could be various reasons for this behavior. He may simply not be prepared for a serious relationship or could feel ashamed or embarrassed about his family. Sometimes, personal issues from his past, such as a traumatic childhood, might hold him back from making those connections.

If you’ve been together long enough and still haven't met his loved ones, it may suggest a lack of sincerity on his part. In such situations, consider evaluating the relationship. Trust that your connection is solid, but if you're concerned, convey your feelings about wanting to know his friends or family. Open communication is key; ask him why he hasn't made these introductions and express your desire for that closeness.

Ultimately, it’s important for both partners to feel secure in their relationship, and if his reluctance to introduce you stems from deeper issues or shame, it may be a red flag prompting you to reconsider the relationship's future.

What Is Pocketing In A Relationship
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What Is Pocketing In A Relationship?

Pocketing, also referred to as "stashing," is a situation where one partner intentionally avoids introducing the other to significant people in their life, effectively concealing the relationship. This behavior can be motivated by fear of commitment, embarrassment, or a desire to keep options available. Those who pocket their partners typically refrain from making plans with friends or bringing up family. The term has emerged from modern social media practices, highlighting how individuals may keep aspects of their personal life hidden, similar to pocketing their phones.

Pocketing can lead to feelings of isolation and insecurity in the relationship. The relationship may remain a secret for an extended time, which can erode trust and intimacy. Indicators of pocketing include a lack of social acknowledgment, such as not being featured on social media or introduced to friends and family. The behavior often signifies underlying issues like insecurity or dishonesty, rather than malicious intent.

Ultimately, pocketing can be damaging, preventing the relationship from developing and causing emotional hardship for both partners. This blog post emphasizes understanding pocketing and offers solutions for addressing it in relationships.

How Does A Guy Act When He'S Not Interested
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How Does A Guy Act When He'S Not Interested?

Observe body language cues to detect if a man is uncomfortable or disinterested in interactions. Signs of disinterest include moving away, crossing arms, turning away, or avoiding physical contact. If he treats you like a friend or appears less invested, it may indicate a loss of interest. Potential reasons could range from shyness to realizing incompatibility. Key indicators of disinterest include him never initiating contact, continued communication with other women, and a general feeling that things aren't right anymore. If he does not call or text as frequently, this could be an early sign he's ready to move on.

It's essential to differentiate between a shy guy and one genuinely uninterested. If he engages in conversation but avoids asking you out, or reports interest in other women comfortably, he may not be invested. Frequently canceling plans or being unresponsive are also clear signs of disinterest.

Look for reductions in communication and enthusiasm—less texting, more perfunctory responses, and delayed replies suggest detachment. Furthermore, if he forgets significant details about you or doesn’t acknowledge important dates, it reinforces the notion that he isn’t prioritizing you. Recognizing these signs can help clarify where you stand and guide you in making informed decisions about the relationship. If his actions leave you confused, it typically indicates he is not genuinely interested.


📹 She’s cute when she’s shy.🙈 who’s with me? @isabellaafro #africa #couple #shorts


Freya Gardon

Hi, I’m Freya Gardon, a Collaborative Family Lawyer with nearly a decade of experience at the Brisbane Family Law Centre. Over the years, I’ve embraced diverse roles—from lawyer and content writer to automation bot builder and legal product developer—all while maintaining a fresh and empathetic approach to family law. Currently in my final year of Psychology at the University of Wollongong, I’m excited to blend these skills to assist clients in innovative ways. I’m passionate about working with a team that thinks differently, and I bring that same creativity and sincerity to my blog about family law.

About me

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  • Well, about three weeks ago I met this guy who I really liked but he was way too shy. I knew he liked me since a mutual friend of ours told me, but he just wouldn’t ask me out. So I decided to make the first move. We were texting and he told me he was bored and I was like.. let’s catch up for some drinks then! We did and had a lovely time. After that night, everything changed. He’s asked me out on four dates since then! I’m actually seeing him tomorrow 😀 So ladies, don’t be afraid of giving shy guys a bit more. Sometimes they just need a little push!

  • Speaking from experience I will say this: When it comes to relationships, shy guys, in fact lots of guys, aren’t dumb, they’re just scared. They’re afraid of making a fool of themselves if the girl says no. It’s a barrier that they build in themselves from childhood and it takes A LOT for them to overcome that, they don’t like to come out of their shell unless the girl makes the first move and it has to be pretty obvious that she likes him otherwise he won’t try. It takes a lot of patience and gentleness to coax them out of their walls but once they do, You’ll often find them to be some of the most enthusiastic and bubbly people ever, they just need encouragement. So don’t be disheartened if they don’t respond immediately, it doesn’t mean their not interested, they’re just waiting for more encouragement

  • I don’t know if this could help anyone, but for eight months, this guy, who takes the same bus as me in the morning, and i would look at each other everyday and on the last day of school i actually got out at the same stop as him and actually approached him. Now I’m a super shy and introverted person but i grew the balls and talked to him. The next day he texts me saying he got my number from a friend of a friend and he asked me out. Turns out he’s extremely shy and has never dated/gone out with anyone before and he kept praising me for coming up to him. So screw fear and just push yourself to make the first move. Guys really do appreciate it (especially the shy ones).

  • Depending on the guy you might need to be a little more than just subtle, some of us are borderline autistic when it comes to girls. Back in high-school there was a girl who literally stole my phone from my backpack, put her number in it, and gave it back to me, and I was STILL left wondering “but what does she want??” lol

  • I got my shy guy (married this past May!)…We lived in the same building. I just kept giving him my biggest smile everytime I saw him, and tried to put together a coherent sentence (since I am also painfully shy!). He told me later that my smiles punched holes right through his shields…It took awhile, but he finally got up the nerve to start really talking to me! 🙂 (He’d overheard me talking about music and thought, “Aha! A topic!”) I think one of the major turning points in our growing friendship was when I pointed out some things I really admired about him. We finally confessed our feelings in two all-night text marathons!

  • Hi Matt, I’m married but your advice for “singles” has worked for me in my marriage. I think what makes your work so great is that you are teaching women how to teach men to be more considerate with women. But the best part is you teach respect standards both ways starting by respecting ourselves. You are a phenomenal “respect teacher”.

  • There’s a difference between shyness and strong insecurities that affect relationships much more so. A shy guy will hear you if you say that you’re interested, then he’ll open up and so on and so on (my ex was shy) but insecurities are blinding, they prevent one from believing the other no matter how true it may be. Too much insecurity also can lead to toxic and manipulative tactics, which should scare off any woman.

  • I like how at least SOME people don’t just have the “if he doesn’t approach he isn’t interested” bullshit attitude. As a shyer guy, it just feels super invalidating, it’s like so all the crushes and feelings I had over the years for different girls was all a sham just because I’m innately shy and that stopped me from approaching them? At least someone is able to be nuanced and say that isn’t necessarily the case.

  • I find being playful is really a good thing to do when you like a guy regardless of him being shy or not, or with the two of you being friends or in a relationship. My boyfriend is generally quiet, but definately not shy and being playful just creates fun moments and open conversations a little more. If anything I’m more the shy one than he is, but I’ve been through so much growth the past few years and that shy little shell has opened up sooo much. It’s crazy and scary, but it’s so good!

  • After listening to this podcast I realised that a girl I know for a while probably was giving me signs she might be interested in me. She complimented me on my appearance, she asked if i’m ina relationshio, and when I was talking to another girl (in my friend group) she was basically staring her down. And still, somehow, i’m not confident enough to return a compliment or like, ask her if she likes me straight up. How the hell do I get over that!?

  • Mathhew Hussey If Attraction exists before someone even makes a move or asks for a date. It exists before a man asks a woman for a date and before a woman tells a guy yes. Otherwise the guy wouldn’t have asked and the woman wouldn’t have said yes. if attraction exists, for both genders, then it is fair to say both should have the free will to act upon it but most of have share EQUAL responsibility to act upon it as well. I don’t understand why society doesn’t also base who makes the first move based on who is, more introverted and who is more extroverted and outgoing. Why is it this a gender thing? The people who say it is, are confusing gender with ability. We should be focusing on equality when it comes to men and women reciprocating when it comes to getting a date, and relationships. Because there are plenty of heirarchtypes out there. Sure some men probably like the chase, but most of the men I’ve talked to don’t like to, they would all be flattered and see that’s it a woman worth his time because she knows what she wants. All in all, it’s usually fairly easy to tell these guys apart. If a man is reserved or shy, or more introverted, then he is less likely to be approach a woman, or pursue. If a man is very comfortable in social settings, outgoing, relaxed, and confident, then this is something that is going to be more natural for him.

  • honestly i think i get it now!! i can get overbearing when i like a guy, and start complimenting or flirting where i dont know if its reciprocated or not. By giving them little challenges and playing with them, that’s their way of “”earning”” your attention, which will then be better received (plus its a charming quality i doubt most people have). I may not be thinking this through 100% but i dont think im the first to think of this!

  • Thank you so much Matthew! I used your advice and gave this guy I like my phone number and it worked! It turns out he likes me too but didn’t know how to approach me. He said he was shy and has wanted to ask me for my number for months. He actually thanked me for giving it to him. He asked me to go out on a date and I said yes! So thank you Matthew for giving me the confidence to do that.

  • For all the guys here wondering “Why the hell are girls attracted to shy guys, isn’t that the complete opposite of what we are lead to believe” Actually it isn’t, girls are not so much attracted to the shyness but instead the mystery factor behind said shy guy. A mysterious guy is an attractive guy and I think that illusion trumps the fact that they are shy, and most shy guys aren’t really “Shy” they are just not good at conversating with women but are fine talking to other guys. I used to be like this and looking back at it now, it used to baffle me as to why all these girls in my high school were trying to chat me up (The shy guy who doesn’t talk to girls).

  • If you are going to ask him out on a date, its gonna get the guy more confident in himself. Also its cool if you go on a date, where he can chill and feel comfortable. If he is introverted and shy, then its better to go do some activity, where you are gonna be alone, at least for the first dates. He will probably open himself up to you more this way. Its not a good idea to go on a date to a festival or a ball or even amusement park. You can for example go for a walk or chill in a café. If you are worried that he might be boring, just let him be in an environment where he is not constantly anxious about other people seeing him “game” and judging him. He just doesnt want to come off as creepy or needy. If he is not distracted by other people/loud music then he can let go and focus on you 🙂

  • As a guy that’d be described as shy, the advice Matthew gives seems to come from someone who while has insecurities (like everyone does), is not from the view of an actual shy guy or introvert. We want you to be blunt and direct with us, at least to get our attention. Flirting with a truly shy guy is a terrible idea (at least until he gets comfortable with you). One, we won’t pick up that’s what you’re doing. And two; if we do, we’ll probably be suspicious what you’re doing isn’t genuine and you’re flirting with us in an attempt to manipulate us. I’m not kidding, I thought I was alone in this thinking (which I have been breaking this habit slowly I’m glad to say) but shy guys are a instinctually defensive and that can lead us to be a bit paranoid if we like you and want to let our guard down but are concerned you’re just playing us. And if we feel you’re not being upfront with us, that’s a red flag. Now the shy guy not asking you out (to oversimplify) is because socializing in general is already hard enough for an introvert. So even if we’re totally into you, if we aren’t convinced you’re interested in us, we won’t make the move cause that’s a lot of extra effort on our end (whether you think it is or not). And like I said those hints you’re dropping and thinking you’re making it clear you’re into us, are all going over our head. So we absolutely need more than a nudge, we need like a blatant declaration of your interest in us, or hell even just ask us out and don’t wait for us to.

  • I’m a quiet guy and I have to disagree with the idea of teasing most men. I think most men want to feel valued and respected more than they want to be teased, especially by people they don’t know. This is because men seem to gauge their self-worth more through their present actions and how beneficial they are to the people that particular man respects or potentially could, and when those people insult or dismiss those actions it does damage to the average male’s self worth; so teasing can come across wrong to strange men. In humanity’s evolutionary past, which is older than civilization, respect between males had life or death consequences. Voluntary respect is like a currency in the world of men, and it ties into the perception of value they have of their own actions and life. The more disrespected a man feels the more he usually goes into some kind of defensive mode, fighting or withdrawing. The genders have different general brain structures and they tend to project these on one another. The reason there are so many “nice guys” is because of their intense desire for respect. They are projecting the male brain structure onto women without knowing she has a different general brain structure, and they are giving tons of niceness and respect to women, because that same perpetual niceness and respect is what they desire from women.

  • I know a guy at my church who is shy. I talked with a mutual friend and she told me he was shy. This guy and I are lectors at our church and have become closer. I’ve given him some clues but haven’t heard anything from him. We are both in our early 50’s and never been married. He did give me a bear hug kissing me on my jawline. Hard to tell.

  • Im shy, and due to past bad experiences, that the more it seems like it’s a 50/50 of being just nice to me, versus showing interest, Ill always assume the nice part. just be direct and blunt, and not beating around the bush with us. “I like you, would you like to go see a movie with me?” That is just the best approach. Just like a lot of women (that I know at least) want guys to be upfront and direct (not all, but a lot of my female friends say that’s what they like, so only using that as a basis)

  • I’m a simple person a shy guy im really subby I’m not utterly outgoing whatsoever I just wanna feel someone’s warmth I’m very open and honest I’m just kinda wanting cuddles it’s always the distance that gets in the way since I live in Cali and most people are outta state and a lot of girls my age I’m eighteen they’re not understanding or sweet about me being as shy as I am I love compliments that honestly makes me super duper flustered I’m not good in conversation I get so awkward when one on one I get overwhelmed in crowds I don’t go out a lot cause of my shyness and my anxiety of abandonment which I’ve gone through time and time again so please if you end up deciding on being me be patient I can be a little playful pup it’s really challenging for me honestly I can’t express my shyness in many circumstances cause I get laughed at a lot by friends and family as well I’m not use to being told sweet things like I’m cute or adorable a whole lot well at least I don’t hear people say it My point is shy guys like me exists we’re real grasping for my hand when I’m either not talking or whatever is the easiest way to get me to squirm or make cute noises shy people make

  • A few months ago, I made the first move with someone I thought was shy. Maybe he is, maybe he’s not. I literally told him I’d like to have a real conversation with him one day, which he seemed receptive to, then the next time I saw him, I gave him my phone number “just in case”. He never called me, then he started giving me some conflicted body language, and since I realized I’d made him really uncomfortable, I backed waaaay off. I was still friendly, still am, but I don’t put any effort into getting closer because essentially he’d told me he wasn’t interested by his behavior. Lately he seems to be wanting to talk to me, but he never does. I’m not the subtle type. I will either tell you what i want or keep my thoughts to myself if I think it is pointless to talk about it. He’s a Midwest guy, not used to direct, and I’m very direct. I figure I was too forward, and he found that threatening. shrug THIS is why I wait for them to approach.

  • I’m sort of in this situation right now… I really like this guy, but he is not the type of guy who will come up and talk to strangers. He only talks to the people that approach HIM. Now I have never really had a conversation with him, but there’s just something that draws me to him. I have no idea how to talk to him, because every time i sort of tried, i come off as super negative and boring. What do i do…

  • I mean, even then, it sounds like she’s asking him out as a friend. She could just be more direct and say, “It’s a date” after he accepts. I think something girls should be aware about around shy guys is that they aren’t (for the most part) blind but too afraid to act on something that may or may not be there. Especially with all the guys nowadays getting friend-zoned because a lot of girls don’t seem to mind putting guys in that situation, it’s hard to make a move.

  • Not sure I agree with all of this. Absolutely yes, come and meet us half-way. Complement us, suggest things to do together. A genuinely shy guy is just going to be relieved that it’s not all up to him. Not everyone wants to be called “cute”, that might be a cultural thing. The popcorn or icecream thing would put me off, again, we’re all different

  • as a shy guy myself, it reminds me of a line from Seven with dealing with girls: “nowadays you can’t just tap people on the shoulder, you gotta hit em with a sledgehammer”. I’m guessing some shy guys might feel they’re inadequate on the looks or personality department compared to Mr Charismatic with the chiseled looks so when a girl shows interest (and is blunt about it) we’ll take notice. Otherwise we’ll think “why me and not mr brown haired track star over there?” Which is also why I never had an issue with dating women from different races. Instead of “I’m sorry, no latinas” or whatever, I’m like “wait a girl likes me? oh shit, hi how are you”. So to women: be super upfront, none of that body language subtle cue stuff.

  • Shy humans have to prepare by working on their relationship with themselves, self-knowledge, self-worth, self-esteem,- self-love, and assess what one’s assets and flaws are, so as to be prepared for questions during first dates and having grounded oneself before, prayed, taken care of all one’s basic needs(healthy food, water, walk in daylight, meaningfulness, sleep).Being clear(er) abouit oneself before a date will make one more stable, relaxed, secure, present, at ease, attractive, open-minded and genuine.

  • What if you’re talking to a guy who is generally self or socially confident, but when it comes to a person they like, they just put on this poker face and pretend they don’t like you like that? Because I am like this, mostly (as a female). I can talk to a person I like (years ago, I couldn’t) and I can even look them straight in the eyes. However, I’m not flirtatious at all (I find it unnatural for me), which may make it confusing. It’ll be like if I was talking to a classmate or a friend. I don’t even like small talk that much. If we’re going to talk, I’d rather have it be intellectually stimulating- we don’t have to talk about quantum physics or anything like that, but a conversation where we bounce off of each other verbally for a while. It can be about our favorite songs or something like that. Not to mention, I’m oblivious to people flirting or showing subtle signs. I’ll just think you’re nice. 

  • I’m… not someone a woman would date, less of a shy man than the ghost of a man who died of an incurable disease, only to look down and see humanity has finally cured it. No hate. Rather glad others won’t fall to it! Glad actually that this generation of women don’t just banish all shy dudes. Guess I was born too soon! Good luck to you younger shy guys! Be thankful you have YOUTUBE! 😂😅😊

  • I swear you literally have to scream it at me, there is just no other way. I had a crush on a girl in highschool, it was the end of year celebration and we had an inflatable obstacle course. I’m sitting alone because what else would I do? And my crush comes up to me and asks me to race her on the course and i said no I wish I could just die thinking about it. Biggest regret.

  • I’m quite a shy guy and the only times I’ve gathered enough courage to ask a girl out I was rejected. I asked 2 girls out in total. One was 5 years ago. the second was this year as I graduated from high school. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do it again again without getting a ridiculously obvious hint.

  • Thank you for giving out such great advice! How do you come up with these ideas? I would imagine women have used these on you and made you smile. I’ve always wanted to be more of a flirt with guys but never really knew what to say. Love the idea of telling a man, “I’ve missed you, there’s been no cute guys around.” Your articles are so good, I can’t help but comment after perusal them.

  • My Boyfriend and I just recently got together about 2 weeks ago. We’ve been friends for over 7 years now and grew up with each other, so we both know each other pretty well. The thing is though is that he never initiates anything, I never get a text saying “Hey” or even “Hi”. The one time I got a “Good night” text was when I said that I liked him and we got together. Whenever I suggest us hanging out he gets all uncomfortable and kinda avoids the subject. I believe he likes me but I’m starting to think he likes the idea of having me rather than actually being with me.

  • I’m not shy, but may be interpreted as so. The reason is, I’ve worked with primarily women for over a decade and am somewhat good looking. Literally every woman freezes when I enter the room(considering I haven’t seen them in a while), they all smile, play with their hair, and clam up on anything interesting to say. This is my baseline, unless you really connect with me, I’m likely to assume you are fixing your hair and just move on.

  • Can some shy guy answered to my question? He ask me out first and we go drink coffee two together and he can’t look at me, his face is red, shaking. He told me that he crush someone and he don’t know what to do and asking my opinion. I’m a really social person. He said he want to treat me and refuse to take my money. He send me home. I don’t have experience of dating. I don’t know if he like me or not. If he just being nice to me or he is just shy all female?He never talk to me first in text but always reply me immediately.

  • What if I’ve texted him once and started the first conversation but he hasn’t done anything. Once he sent me “Heyy” but after like two hours of me not replying (because I hadn’t opened the message yet I was busy studying) he just said, “If you finished studying send me some notes” and then I replied saying when I finish I’ll send him some but he didn’t reply after that. But honestly I don’t want to waste my time if he isnt interested. I haven’t been receiving anything back from him except that one time when I texted him first and he asked me if I’m still in the same school (Note: we used to be in the same school as kids and we both used to like each other but I never really told him but he actually wrote me a note confessing in like third grade I don’t remember what I did after that but I’m pretty sure I didn’t talk to him about it then a new version of our school opened so I went to it while he stayed behind and it’s been like three years now and I’m in high school and now he moved to the new version of our school which is the same school as mine) I told him that yes I’m still in that school and he was like “Then hopefully we’ll meet” he said that but didn’t even say hi to me or anything and that made me so confused! I don’t want to waste my time if it’s just me putting in all the effort. What do you guys think??

  • I had a crush on shy guy and I always wanted to know his name so I found his friend and asked what’s his name. But it ended up exchanging moblie no.s of me n my crush. earlier I had a thought of not making the 1st move but his friend said to me that he is shy. So I started the convo. And he replied. I know he also has feelings for me. But when chatting with him I get mixed feelings that if he does or doesn’t like me. It’s just 3 days of chatting. But still I had to start the convo every day. So is this a disinterested towards me or what ???

  • So, I have been hanging out ocassionally with this guy + his friends for about two months now. I feel like we have a connection, it is playful, very buddy- buddy ish at the moment. We have talked a lot about personal stuff when we have been alone. I think he could be interested in me, but i am not sure. He has had the chance to make a move plenty of times, but he hasnt. He once told me he has had some bad experiences with girls and he has “trust issues”. I know iIcould just go on like the way things are between us, it would be ok, but I kind of want more, and I want to ask him if he is interested in more as well. Is that stupid? Will it ruin our friendship and the group dynamics? Any tips?

  • Im a very shy guy and I’m a bit scared of make the first move if I not really sure that the Girl like me…shy guys have a lack of confidence and they may think that if they show interest they act like a creep. Also most of the shy guys are afraid of rejection but if we see you showing interest, the chance of getting rejection is not that large. Also push us a bit with a nice opportunity like going to the cinema…because it takes the pressure 😁… (sorry for my crappy English, I hope you understand me)

  • Stumbled across this article. His psychological tactics are very interesting. But honestly ladies, guys aren’t hard to understand. We’re bags of meat with arms and legs. I guarantee you that at least 7 out of 10 times, if you’re asking yourself if he likes you, he definitely does. He is just too inexperienced and nervous on how to say it. Make the first move and you’ll bag him easy.

  • As a shy guy I feel qualified to speak on this a little bit. There’s a level of respect I extend to girls, probably stupidly, but I’m working on it. I feel like showing interest in a girl is the same as putting a burden on her. Now she has this knowledge that I like her and it’s going to weigh on everything she does because I know that’s how I am. When I’m aware I’m being observed in a different way, I completely go out of my body and look at myself from an outsider’s point of view. How do I look to her when I stand like this? Am I subconsciously sticking my chest out more or is this how I always stand? I don’t know anymore! Now my shoulders are adjusting for no reason and I’m worried that she saw that too. I call it a burden because for me, so much of my attention becomes devoted to others perception of me that I can’t focus on actually doing anything else. Songs I’ve played perfectly a thousand times get screwed up like the first day I held the instrument. A girl has to show an obvious sign that she’s interested, but only once! Just one obvious sign is all I need to feel comfortable flirting back and eventually taking the wheel. But patience is important because it probably won’t happen the same day. Actually patience might be the most attractive quality to me. But without that one obvious sign or comment, I’m unlikely to ever break that respect and inflict the knowledge of my romantic interest onto you. Hahaha what the hell. When a girl overwhelms me with a bunch of signs and obvious flirting I get embarrassed at first and I kind of want her to stop.

  • this is a perfect example of how its in womans nature to not have even a line ready to flirt cause they dont need it and to always try to make a confident man suffer and in love with them cause its the only way to make them feel strong enough to dump any guy cause they cant stand rejection in any ammount. You wanna know how to keep a woman in love with you always? TELL THE WORD NO IN HER FACE WHENNEVER YOU DONT WANT TO DO SOMETHING. Dont allow them to use not EVEN A SEC of your time withought you be ok with that and dont put them on a pedestall IN ANY VERBAL OR MANIPULATIVE SCENARIO…. WHY? cause she will stick with you TRYING EVERY DAY to manipulate you and wont leave cause she not sure if you gonna be hurt enough when she dumps you lol

  • My issue is my now ex, was perfect in the loving me aspect and would go out of his way to accommodate me, but when it came to personality and humor, he would joke but he would take offense to a lot of my jokes and when we would go out to a party he would become a wall flower. We actually just broke up less than 24 hours ago. I’m hurting because I love him and he loves me but the fact that our personalities would clash over nothing is what would make me think if what if. It got to the point where when he would want to initiate intercourse I would turn him down without a second thought.

  • If a woman can come on here and look up articles “how to know if he likes me” “how to attract a shy guy”. A man can do the same, it has bee said plenty of times not to chase men. But here she’s been told to be the initiator. If a man see’s something he truly wants he’ll go after it. Career, woman, car, job etc. Women shouldn’t try so hard to initiate. But reciprocate advances. Any man that won’t make a move is too “shy” is not man enough not ready good bye. Lol

  • HELP!!! I’m so in love with one of my best friend’s son ( she is 50 years old and her son is 25 and I’m 32 years old) he also said that age is just a number and that it doesn’t matter for him but a good heart!!! I know his mom for 7 years and her son I met him 3 years ago. He is very shy but he kinda took the courage to talk to me ( in my case is different because I’m friend to his mother), and last year he said something that I didn’t expected ” one day you will be my wife” ! In the beginning this was really awkward for me because I thought about the age difference but starting to know him better, made me fall in love with him, with his big heart and the most sparkling eyes I ever seen( we kissed once when i went to visit in Norway on Xmas but nothing more ).But he is living in Norway and I live in Greece so it’s an extra problem that too. His mother said to me to give him more time and that she knows him very well and that he is very very shy! He knows I like him and the only answer was ” it’s very hard for me to express my feelings and that is his fault and not mine, that he is very confused”. We kinda talk but rarely and I don’t know what to do or what to say to him. I hope I get some opinions cause in this case I really don’t know what’s the right thing to do. Thanks 😉

  • No that’s bullshit. A girl that puts I and she in the same hypothetical scenario of anything in the same zip code as a date, is fucking forward. Someone like me that that doesn’t appreciate subtly will be instantly turned off. What you need to understand is that you can’t help but project yourself into these situations where you lack so much context, that it might as well be a shitty novel comprised of two dimensional characters. The “shy guy,” might not actually be shy, but waiting for someone with the sense of self worth and confidence to take the initiative and directly communicate what they actually want. That’s why I don’t date much, because of women that take your folk psychology as gospel, when the reality is most people don’t know how to communicate. That’s why they’re going to some other clueless zleob for advice.

  • XD I AM IN THE SAME FREAKING BOAT LOL tho the fact is even he is kinda really popluar esp among the ladies we talked and know each other and we are friends on fb too and he def showed signs of intrest a LOT BUTTTT 1.His English isn’t very fluent since he lives in Germany 2.He is not a big talker he prefers being quite most of the time unless he wants to talk or if you talk to him 3. He lives in Germany and I live in India and since he had to go back we only text and I just go blank whenever I try to text him lol same thing happend when we were together in real life I got a lot of tongue tied LMAO sooooooo yeah…………………………….lol IDK what to do

  • This is one of the stupidest advice I have heard this week. Being completely direct is the fastest and best way to go about this. Yes, he might ask for time, but guys generally don’t get “scared away” by such things, even if you would ask them one or two days after (if he has not responded somehow) what he thinks about it.

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