To prepare for couples counseling, it is essential to go in with an open mind and be prepared to actively participate in the process. This can help prevent shaming or stigmatizing therapy or the marriage counseling process, as good therapy requires active participation. It is crucial to commit to the work and not expect therapy to improve your relationship if you cannot give it your all.
Educate yourself about resources to support positive changes and cultivate tools to improve your relationship struggles. If you and your partner are waiting for couples therapy or can’t attend therapy right away, there are still things you can do to improve your relationship in meaningful ways. Fill out the paperwork for you, not just for the therapist, and make sure both of you are open and invested.
Marriage counseling refers to seeking the help of a professional couples therapist when a married couple is going through marital distress that they cannot solve themselves. These problems can include infidelity, childbirth, loss, illness, or moving. Separation and divorce counseling can provide support and guidance for couples navigating the end of their marriage, helping them process emotions and potentially prevent couples from getting a divorce.
To prepare for a first-time marriage counseling session, it is important to be flexible and spend quality time together. Be flexible by committing to a day slot or starting individual counseling as soon as possible. Some suggestions for things to try with your partner if you’re unsure if you’re ready for couples counseling include doing something that scares you, talking about childhood memories, expressing gratitude, getting out of your head and into the best part of your heart, praying or meditation, and establishing goals for your relationship.
Before beginning couples counseling, do some in-depth soul-searching before you begin, don’t wait too long, find a counselor with whom you feel comfortable, and create a relaxed atmosphere. Spend time with your partner regularly to communicate about your desires and objectives. Don’t be prepared to look at your own beliefs, behaviors, and defenses, as this may be hard work but can lead to significant improvements in your relationship.
| Article | Description | Site |
|---|---|---|
| What Can You Do When You’re Waiting for Couples Therapy | Make time for each other. While you’re working on your relationship, it’s important to spend quality time together. Quality time means without … | thrivefamilyservices.com |
| What to do while waiting for marriage counseling? | I’d start with individual counseling as soon as possible, and then you two can attend one another’s counseling sessions if you want to work … | reddit.com |
| Before you start couples counseling, try this first | Pick a time each week to talk about the book. Ideally, you want this to be a predetermined time that will work for you both each week. It’s less … | tombruetttherapy.com |
📹 Boundaries For Waiting Until Marriage⎮Specific Details and Advice!
What’s up guys, my name is Jacob Petersen, and I am joined by my wife Julia Petersen to talk about boundaries that Christian …
What Not To Say In Marriage Counselling?
During couples therapy, certain phrases and behaviors can hinder the healing process. It's crucial to avoid blaming language, such as "you always" or "you never," as these create defensiveness and conflict. Experts from Ritual highlight 17 communication pitfalls to sidestep, including accusations, comparisons to past relationships, negative labeling, sarcasm, and invalidating your partner's feelings. Phrases that imply ultimatums or hurtful comments, such as "you're lazy," are also detrimental.
Treating each other with respect is fundamental for constructive dialogue during sessions. Couples should mentally prepare for therapy by entering with an open mind, avoiding shame or stigma regarding counseling. The focus should be on expressing personal feelings and concerns without resorting to criticism. Additionally, asking thoughtful questions, such as when your partner feels content, can foster understanding.
Overall, knowing what not to say—like making judgments about the partner or their relationship—will contribute to a more positive and productive therapeutic environment. Effective communication is essential for making progress and strengthening the relationship.
What To Do Two Days Before Marriage?
The Wedding Planning List: 2-3 Days Before the Big Day
Bride: Ensure your gown is pressed or steamed.
Groom: Attend final fitting and collect formalwear. Remind best man to confirm groomsmen's fittings and outfits. Establish wedding party positions. Many couples manage most planning but may benefit from a day-of planner.
Essential 7-Day Pre-Wedding Checklist: Prepare mentally, emotionally, and financially for the wedding. As the special day approaches, make sure you're ready. The night before, confirm vendors and prioritize self-care.
The Day Before:
- Sleep: Rest well to avoid dark circles.
- Hydrate: Drink plenty of water.
A comprehensive timeline covers all pre-wedding events from engagement parties to bridal showers. Two days prior, some may face last-minute tasks, like finishing programs. Use wedding night tips to ease nerves and prepare for intimacy.
48 Hours Before:
- Check dress and shoes, prepare an emergency kit, and confirm vendor details.
- Designate someone in charge.
- Pack personal items and create a timeline.
Lastly, ensure you prioritize health, practice walking in shoes, eat well, and charge your phone!
Do Couples Who Wait Until Marriage Last Longer?
A quick search reveals that the idea of saving sex for marriage is supported by research beyond faith-based beliefs. Couples who wait until marriage report higher relationship and sexual satisfaction, improved communication, and reduced divorce considerations. For instance, a 2015 study in Economic Inquiry indicated that couples who dated for one to two years had a 20% lower likelihood of divorce compared to those who dated for less than a year. A 2023 report highlighted that married couples who cohabited before engagement had a 48% higher divorce rate. In contrast, couples who waited until marriage reported 22% greater relationship stability and 20% higher satisfaction levels. Survey respondents suggested that it generally takes one to three months before introducing a partner to close family, depending on both partners' readiness. Furthermore, studies show many couples move in together after about four months of dating. Research indicates that couples increasingly view cohabitation as part of dating, though it remains a risk factor for divorce. Overall, those who abstain from sex until marriage are less likely to divorce and tend to express greater sexual and relational fulfillment. It's beneficial to wait, as higher levels of satisfaction and commitment are frequently reported by these couples.
Why Would A Spouse Refuse Marriage Counseling?
A partner may avoid marriage counseling for various reasons, often stemming from preconceived notions or a lack of willingness to work on the relationship. Many individuals enter counseling already convinced of their relationship's limitations. This reluctance is common in both men and women and can lead to frustration for the partner seeking help. Key reasons for avoiding counseling include fears of judgment, perceived stigma, and beliefs that relationship problems are solely the other person's responsibility. Financial concerns about the cost of therapy also play a significant role.
When married individuals refuse counseling, it may signal an unwillingness to self-reflect or grow, which are crucial for a healthy marriage. It’s essential for the supportive partner to engage in open dialogue, listen to concerns, and address issues collaboratively. Some partners may believe they can resolve conflicts independently or have had negative past experiences with therapy, influencing their resistance.
Ultimately, if one spouse is desperate for help while the other refuses, it’s important to accept that control over the partner's decision is unattainable. The key is to approach the situation positively, ensuring that both partners feel heard and supported, while gently encouraging professional help as a means to restore the relationship.
What To Do While Waiting For Counselling?
Congratulations on taking this important step! It's essential to treat yourself kindly, much like a close friend would. Sharing your feelings with others can be incredibly beneficial, so don’t hesitate to express yourself. Journaling about your experiences and emotions can provide clarity and relief. Additionally, incorporating little moments of joy into your day helps lift your spirits. Make a note of things that bring you pleasure and gratitude, and consider small plans to look forward to.
If you find yourself feeling worse but are not in harm's way, there are self-care strategies you can try while waiting for your counseling sessions. Connect with your support network for encouragement and navigate self-care routines to manage your mental health. This blog offers strategies for coping with waitlists, such as monitoring your mental state, seeking out alternative support, and exploring self-help resources. Engage in meaningful conversations with trusted friends, family, or professionals who can offer support.
Drawing, painting, or other creative outlets can also be beneficial. Remember that even small actions can build resilience, and it’s okay to seek help when you need it. There are multiple ways to care for yourself while awaiting therapy—let the journey be a part of your healing process.
What To Do While Waiting For Marriage?
Good morning! I enjoyed your audiobook, "Find Yourself." It emphasizes being productively engaged while envisioning your dream home, investing in prayer, and adding value to yourself. For those desiring marriage but navigating singleness, here are four actionable steps: 1) Develop good habits, as they benefit both you and your future spouse. 2) Understand that waiting can have a purpose, encouraging proactive behaviors instead of idly waiting for marriage. 3) Reflect on what marriage means to you. 4) Pray for your future husband.
While waiting, consider exploring connections through local churches or community service. Cultivate positivity by surrounding yourself with uplifting people and practicing gratitude. It's crucial to focus on personal growth—get an education, start a career, or pick up new hobbies.
Abstinence is also highlighted, fostering stronger emotional connections. Couples who wait until marriage often report greater satisfaction and communication. During this phase of waiting, prioritize self-reflection, journaling, and setting goals. Remember, waiting is about spiritual preparation and building a fulfilling life independently of marital status. Overall, nurture your relationship with God, creating a robust foundation that enriches your journey toward a future partnership.
How To Spot A Bad Marriage Counselor?
Identifying signs of a bad couples therapist is crucial to avoid ineffective therapy. Key red flags include choosing sides, agreeing with one partner, sharing secrets, and urging breakups without proper discussion. A poor counselor often ignores the couple's values and exhibits weak communication skills, failing to engage both partners equally. They might create an unwelcoming environment, focus excessively on one partner’s flaws, or utilize confusing jargon, reflecting a lack of empathy or bias.
Additionally, they may not possess the necessary qualifications or experience to guide you effectively through marital challenges. Sometimes couples enter counseling as a last resort, and realizing a therapist isn't suitable can lead to frustration and resentment. It's vital to ensure therapy feels safe, supportive, and tailored to your needs. If sessions feel off, it’s imperative to discuss these feelings with your partner. Moreover, poor therapy could exacerbate issues, especially in volatile relationships.
Individuals should be wary of therapists who fail to acknowledge important mental health considerations, such as conditions like bipolar disorder, while focusing solely on surface-level communication. Ensuring that your therapist is a good fit is essential for effective couples therapy and successful navigation of relationship challenges.
What Not To Do When Counselling?
A therapist should avoid numerous behaviors that can negatively impact the therapeutic relationship and effectiveness. Key red flags include skipping trust-building, lacking empathy, acting unprofessionally, being judgmental, or practicing anything other than therapy. Additionally, therapists should avoid showing bias in contexts like couples counseling. Common missteps include speaking too much, prioritizing personal curiosity, giving unsolicited advice without proper understanding, or taking on every client for the sake of numbers.
Maintaining confidentiality is paramount, with therapists legally bound to uphold it. Clients must also engage honestly, avoiding lies, half-truths, or suppression of critical emotions. Essential boundaries should be established through contracts and informed consent, ensuring both parties understand their roles. It's important for therapists not to be overly emotional or disconnected, to refrain from providing ill-considered advice, and to keep the dialogue relevant and focused.
Therapy sessions should feel safe for clients, where they can discuss anything without fear of judgment. Lastly, clients should communicate openly about their experiences and feelings during sessions to foster a productive therapeutic environment; ghosting or avoidance tactics can hinder progress. Thus, awareness of these potential pitfalls can help in fostering a healthier therapist-client dynamic.
Can A Marriage Be Saved Without Counseling?
Restoring a troubled marriage without counseling is feasible, especially when issues are minor. Patience and a commitment to address concerns are essential for progress. While considering divorce, reflect on critical questions and signs that indicate whether to continue the relationship or let go. Signs include a breakdown in communication, emotional distance, and boredom, often exacerbated by external influences like pornography. To explore if a marriage can be salvaged independently, dedicate three weeks to employ four proven strategies collaboratively with your partner.
Research shows that many marriages can be saved without professional help, provided both parties engage in open communication and mutual commitment. Key indicators can help determine if it's too late to mend the relationship, often highlighting deeper, unaddressed issues. Some positive signs may suggest the marriage has potential for recovery if both partners are willing to work on it.
While therapy can be beneficial, actively working together can yield improvements in the marriage. Understanding the individual’s unhealed pain is crucial, as both partners need to heal and rebuild trust to restore the relationship. Implement strategies like constructive conflict resolution, effective communication, and positive thinking to foster a healthier partnership. Assessing the relationship’s worth is vital to gauge if efforts should continue.
How Long Is It Acceptable To Wait For A Therapist?
The acceptable waiting period to see a therapist varies based on individual circumstances, generally ranging from one week to a month. However, if someone is in crisis, even a week may feel too long. For therapists, how long to wait for a late client depends on their policies and circumstances; typically, they might wait around 15-20 minutes before deciding to cancel the session. It’s important for clients to communicate with their therapist about any scheduling issues or lateness.
The average wait time for therapy appointments is approximately six weeks, but this can differ significantly due to factors like location and therapist availability. Some therapists may have longer waitlists, up to six to eight months, particularly for specialists, while others may offer appointments within a few days. If individuals find themselves facing an extended wait, contacting their primary care physician can help, as they may offer quicker access to urgent mental health services.
Clients are encouraged to establish clear expectations regarding session lengths and to communicate with their therapists about their needs. Therapists usually conduct sessions of about 45-50 minutes, which allows them time for notes and preparation. It is also recommended to arrive a few minutes early to maximize the session time. Understanding these factors can help clients manage the waiting period while also building resilience during their search for mental health support.
📹 Secrets of a Couples Counselor: 3 Steps to Happier Relationships Susan L. Adler TEDxOakParkWomen
Susan presents the idea that if we nourish our relationships we become a team and build the trust and goodwill that we’ll need to …
As a teenager trying to navigate my way through these high school years, I couldn’t be more grateful for Jacob and Julia. It’s hard to have a boyfriend and give God that relationship. Especially when you’re a human and think you can do it all. 😂 I mean we’re all guilty of pushing God to the back burner and wanting to take the lead. My boyfriend and I watch every article. We are soaking in what you guys are pouring out. Thank you for being an example and encouragement, and listening to the plan God has for your lives ❤
It IS possible to wait until marriage for sex! And such a beautiful gift to give your spouse! I married at 21 years old and thank God that we were given the grace to wait. It made our wedding night so special! We’ve been married almost 24 years now and our love has produced 5 amazing human beings! We grow stronger in love and faithfulness all the time. The cord of 3 stands!
Me and my husband waited for marriage and soooo glad we did! We dated for 2 years & got married at 18, he was 19. We were both virgins & saved ourselves. Now we have 12 years of marriage, this year will be 13 years & we are still crazy for eachother! We have 3 beautiful kids. Most ppl don’t believe us these days when we tell them that we were both virgins & saved ourselves. Save your virginity till marriage, it’s very precious in front of Gods eyes and a big blessing ❤ God bless yall
I know it will probably seem weird that I follow you but I love that you are Christian and are trying to lead others. I got married when I was 17 and my husband was 19 and we were virgins when we married. I am 63 years old and so many people now do everything backwards and a lot of times it doesn’t last. My husband and I were married 32 years the week before he died. He had a massive heart attack at 51 years old and the 26th of this month will be 14 years. We should never take each other for granted because we never know what a day holds. My husband was a baptist preacher and our family sung Southern Gospel Music. Since his death we stopped traveling and singing. I direct the choir at our church and my daughters direct the younger choir. I have joy in knowing that when my time is over that I will meet my husband again. Keep doing what you are doing and leading the lost to Jesus. I have 2 grandkids, girl 8 and boy 6 and I pray that they will always follow God. Love you!
I’m a teen, and I’ve been praying for a relationship to come, and God told me to be patient but that something would come. He told me that my prayers would be answered. I’ve asked God to prepare me so that I don’t goof this up. I’ve been reading my bible more than ever, I’m TRYING to wrangle my temper, and I’m closer to God than I have ever been on my near 15 years on this earth, and I think this was why God wanted me to wait. Before now, I would’ve never prayed over a relationship I didn’t even have, I would have never asked God to prepare me for anything. I was prideful and arrogant around God and I thought I had all the knowhow to get through life myself, but I was so wrong, God showed me to depend on him and I’ve never felt more peace or comfort and I can actually hear him. I watch you two as an example of how a loving relationship should look, and I can’t wait for what God has planned for me… but I’ll just have to manage
I was 25 when i married my beloved. We waited and it was the best decision. We even saved our first kiss. We wanted Christ to be at the center of our relationship. We knew once he wasnt, it would fall apart and we knew this was something so real and didnt want to do anything to screw it up. We also wanted to keep things special for marriage, which is why we saved kissing. The other thing we did that made a huge impact in our dating was defining our ‘i love yous’. We talked about everything and our marriage has been solid because of it. We were quick to flee temptation, be open and honest and forgive each other.
I’m 35 years old waiting until marriage. God started my love story almost 11 years ago and I’m praying that this will be our harvest season because I miss him and I can’t wait to start this next chapter with him. It also goes to show that you can wait this long and hold out to your spouse and you’re ready to give yourselves to him or her on your wedding night
I struggled with this. Never trusting myself, always afraid of the sin of fornication, STDs and unwanted pregnancies that i never dated any girls, even if they were interested I pushed them away till my early to mid 20s. I got into pron and alcohol, got high on weed because in my mind at the time it was safer and the drugs were an escape from the depression from the experiences that i lack and the pain of putting yourself out there just to get rejected. I’m now 27 still a virgin, still looking for my future wife and pray for her every night. However the alcohol abuse lead to a DUI last year in December, thank God I didn’t crash my truck, injure or kill anyone. Just license suspension for one year and fines, but what a WAKE UP call from our God. He is our good holy father and he disciplines his children because he loves us. He is the God of second and third chances, I’m on a better path now because he walks with all of us through the valleys of darkness, and when we are weak then we are strong because God’s power is made perfect in our weakness, throught the scripture God collaborates with some of the weakest to carry our his good will for all glory to God alone. Alway leaning not on our own understanding but surrending fully the Christ to take care of it all. May you all know and experience the love God has for you, beloved you are precious life, fearfully and wonderfully made. No mistake is too big for our God. He works all things out together for good for those that love him.
Agnostic aethiest here (I’m just curious about different beliefs. That’s why I’m perusal this Christian article, LOL). Just wanted to say thank you for the advice regarding lust vs love. The difference has always been so confusing and it can cause a lot of unnecessary heart break. This is the best explanation I’ve heard. Thank you!!! 🙂
I’m not a super Christian person, but I feel like I wanna wait for marriage anyways. Idk how true it is cuz I’ve never gone through it, but my mom told me stories of her first time, etc. She told me that the first person you are with like that, you kinda always have a connection with. You gave them that vulnerable and precious thing, which is beautiful if they’re the love of your life. But I honestly just don’t want to have that with anyone but my Husband. ( And really, you don’t need to do it that way to have a happy and health relationship in the future, this is just my personal opinion).
I gave it up when I was 16. Took me till 25 to find god & I’ve been abstinent for about a year now. I can definitely say it does feel harder having gone into this not a virgin. Not to mention realizing how much pain it actually caused me not going the route god calls for us. It even effected me emotionally with my current relationship with my soon to be husband. So all in all from experience in a worldly perspective even, it’s just not worth giving up before marriage. God has it like that for a reason, it protects you from a lot of the pain and issues that arise from being impure. To anyone who is still pure and not married yet, keep it up! It’ll be worth the wait. This year long wait has actually helped heal me a lot and fixed a lot of my brokenness that came from being promiscuous.
I’ve been struggling with laziness since I got out of school. I heard God tell me that I need to learn to enjoy my life so I spent a lot of time with Him alone and just focusing on His Presence, but then He called me to start doing work again and to enjoy the work in front of me and I have been failing to do those works. I saw the title of this article and was immediately motivated to work again because God definitely meant this article to be for me and probably many others as well. Thank you for obeying God’s voice and spreading the knowledge, wisdom, and understanding He gave you with others!!
Even though ive never had a boyfriend but crushes, i still struggle with lustful thoughts whether in school or wherever i am but i always ask God to replace these bad thoughts with thoughts of Him and peace, and that He will make the devil flee from me God Bless You All And Keep Spreading The Gospel and Putting these articles out there Because its helped me !!🙏🦋🙏
I have a relationship with an amazing boy but I haven’t seen him in three weeks almost four. Balancing a relationship with school, friends, family and free time is hard. This is my first relationship so I don’t want to mess up because I feel like he deserves more than me. I’m also still trying to balance my mental health too. God will get me through this, I’m praying to meet him soon after exams.
This article just showed up on my ‘For You’ page. I’m 18 years old and in my first relationship. The first thing I said when I saw this article was, ‘Only if they knew I had a boundary of 2,500 miles with my girlfriend.’ But I ended up clicking on it and literally the first 30 seconds of the temptation part, and the girl in this article pretty much said what my excuse was for almost not clicking on the article 😂😂😂. A lot of this I actually practice already, but it’s really good to hear new things that can help me and her out. I appreciate the article. Thanks!
It feels like God sent this article to me. I was having a conversation with my mom about Christian dating (which could lead to marriage) and how even a kiss you share can cause lust or unwated thoughts. So you need to be really careful. And then this article popped up on my page as I was scrolling. Perfect timming! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us ❤
I’m so grateful to God for this website. I have lived in the flesh for the longest time as a result i became i single mum. Now i am so grateful for my spiritual growth and the abundance of Grace that helped me overcome sexual immorality. Now i am so trusting God for a life partner at 41 and yes i am already aligning myself to His will by waiting until marriage. Please mention me in your prayers. My desire is for my husband to find me speedily before the end of this year. Keeping my faith up 😍😍🌷
Tbh, I feel the most love and happiness with my boyfriend when we aren’t being physical. Idk if that’s just cuz I am a girl, but the feeling of love that I have for him is so much more intense when like, he does something nice for me, or we are joking around together, or we just spend time together. We haven’t done much physically, and it’s nothing bad, but my point is physical love pales in comparison to romantic, holy and pure love.
I was making out with my boyfriend today and I felt like crying cause we had earlier on talked about us limiting ourselves to physical intimacy. We’ve decided to have a serious talk this evening because we both want to do this the right way, and glorify God in the process. I’m glad I found your article to help us. Please pray for us to stay strong and come out victorious🪷
Thank you guys so much for this article! I’ve watched many articles on the topic of relationships(specifically waiting for marriage) and every article always says “just wait” without digging deeper into heart posture and our emotions as humans. I’ve been made to think that my sexual desires are shameful or bad because I’m not married, but those desires need to be guarded as you guys talked about with boundaries.
Wow! This was definitely a article God wanted me to see. Through past experiences with dating I’ve been able to see first hand how easy it is to be physical with someone you love and have temptation. It’s SO important to find someone who truly respects your boundaries and wants to pursue purity with you not just for you. Thank you guys for those words of wisdom<3
I enjoyed this article guys! I recently just met potentially the girl of my dreams through Upward and she is such a sweetheart! We have been going on multiple dates now and she’s leaving to go to Italy for a couple weeks and when she comes back I am ready to ask her out. I genuinely love this girl and I wouldn’t do anything to hurt her because the most important person that has brought me closer to her is God and my relationship with him is so important. Thank you for sharing some valuable tips!
I’m so thankful for your transparency and honesty in this article. My boyfriend and I have saved ourselves for one another, and intend to wait for marriage to honor God and one another. It’s hard obviously, but it’s nice hearing from people like y’all on ways to avoid falling into temptation, and to grow in love. There’s something so special about falling in love with who someone is rather than their body. You’re falling in love with this person, and with God at the same time, as you both seek to emulate Christ.
Same as a teenager in high school I struggle with these things and sometimes its embarrassing. I am a Christian and I always have been, and I really loved this because I feel its important to know the differents between the rights and wrongs in all this, and the world tries to tell us love is different so its nice to know I’m not the only one, and to see how others deal with this!!! Thanks
You create a soul tie. It’s real and extremely hard to forget. After my ex husband left the kids and I and we he filed for divorce it took years of praying for the lord to break that soul tie to allow my heart to be prepared for the man if God the lord has for me. I waited for my ex husband and I to be married and it truly is worth it. Thank you for being transparent about the certain aspects of dating.
This has definitely helped me so much as a VERY young individual. I want to find my place in God’s kingdom before anything else, but yes I do find myself talking to Christian guys and it leads me to thinking about who my person is and how I would like to be treated. I think it’s important to know that you’re not alone in this world and that God will provide for you when you follow Him, the Bible says “Seek first my kingdom and all else will be added on to you”, so it’s no question when it comes to who you put first in your relationship, it should always be God. I did want to know if hugging and such were lust or signs of love to one another, I don’t want to fall into a physical temptation so I know what to look for in a true man of God now, thank you! :D. Also, if you’re like me and don’t trust yourself, always trust God, get to know Him more and more until you can recognize when it’s God and when it’s flesh. It certainly helps lead you in the right direction, especially with this topic!!
I’ve been a virgin for nearly all of my life, and I’m 31 now. I’ve explored intimacy with one of my exes, but it never led to actual sex. I feel like because I know what it is I want in my future marriage, this makes waiting fairly easy. The only time it isn’t is when I find myself feeling physically attracted to someone, even if there’s no other feelings involved. I recognize that it’s natural. I try my best not to act on it, but it can cause my thoughts to spiral or go in circles sometimes depending on the person.
That’s the advice I need. Me and my future Russian wife will respect each other boundaries during our 2 year long term relationship until our marriage in 2026. I m so thankful I waited for God to bring me my future Russian wife until may 5th 2025 the year he promised. Pray for this to come to pass 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙂
3:16 when you said that I said to myself I’m dealing with both, yes I want to be with someone because I am lonely and I do desire to have someone but part of me will always think about a future with her, like taking care of her, providing for her, loving her uncontrollably, respecting and honoring her. So I would say it’s mostly love but part of it lust because I don’t like being alone.
thank you for this article! as someone who just got into a Christian relationship, we want to honor God and each other, and we will definitely find these tips useful in the future! thanks for talking about this! we want our relationship to bring glory to God, and we are waiting until marriage to have sex, because that’s the way God intends for that gift to be. what many people don’t realize is that it’s not just a random “rule” God wants us to follow, but it really is Him protecting us from unneeded soul ties, and helps us to learn to love each other healthily without confusing love and lust early on in the relationship. some people i look up to have recently started using the term “sexual integrity” instead of “purity,” because “purity” has so many negative connotations to it, and that phrase scares many people away. people have been hurt by the Church when they were told they’re no longer “pure,” but that’s not true in God’s eyes at all, so I’m glad you guys talked about that! sex should not be looked at as a shameful thing, because it is a beautiful gift from God when done within the context of marriage, as he told us. 🙂
As A Male Christian oh BOI did I need this! You guys are the example that we need! Even though I’m still single I believe the ONE will come to me and maybe is already in my life. But once I Find out I’ll make sure to show her what a Christian boyfriend/husband should act like. I am a Teenager and this is a big topic during Highschool so glad I know not to RUSH. Yknow?
This was such a good article! It’s great that you really pointed out how every couple is different cause I feel like it’s so normal to just say what you can and cannot do rather than actually figuring it out yourself. I’m asexueal so I don’t experience sexual attraction, like I do not feel drawn to the idea of sex (I do really want to be a mum tho, and I mean stuff like that still feel physically pleasing) so in my relationship with my boyfriend cuddling and sleeping in the same bed is not a problem but when we’ve done stuff he feels is too much he’s been really good at telling me even though he initiated it. Every night we share a bed the last thing we do is play together, especially for our relationship and for God’s will to happen. Communication is key!!
H e encontrado este vídeo por casualidad y os lo agradezco muchísimo. En el día de hoy, la época en la que vivimos parece que las relaciones de noviazgo se tienen muy pronto e incluso nos llegamos a sentir ”obligados” a tener un novio a edades tempranas. Actualmente tengo 19 años y estoy súper contenta de mi vida con Dios porque en la edad joven estando soltera realmente te das cuenta de cuánto tiempo puedes invertir para Dios. Lo mejor es esperar a su tiempo y ya porque, la verdad, no hay ninguna prisa, con Dios el amor es paciente para que sea eterno. Thank u my siblings!!!!
I am thankful for jacob and julia that they are serving god throughout their relationship even though trying to find the perfect guy in my life is hard i wish that god will bless your relationship for the rest of your love years and may god bless your marriage much love from rorisang from south Africa
I’m now 47 years old and still single and never even dated even though during my teen years I’ve had some interest in dating. But when I was 18 I later started having a negative view of relationships because I believed that I could only date or marry someone who I’m not attracted to but who’s attracted to me and that just made me want to say that relationships are not for me. But I need to trust God that his will for me is the best even though I have this fear that God will give me someone who I’m not interested in and I’m going to have to obey by saying yes to God but at the same time suffer with the problem of not wanting this relationship. I also like to think that I am now too old and I have no choice now but to stay single for life.
Thank you my boyfriend and I both want to have a Christian relationship and although I don’t experience sexual attraction I wanted to understand setting boundaries and I think we definitely held up to what you said, I think that these things are still important to be aware of and things I’ll think about more with my partner.
God doesnt make mistakes. So when he says to be abstinent he is saying for a reason. Not only will it protect you from potential unwanted pregnancy, and STD’s but God is trying to protect your heart as well. I truly believe the biggest reason I can’t get over my ex is because we didn’t practice abstinence. When you sleep with someone you give a part if yourself to that person. They have it forever. Its a spiritual physical bond. And that bond was only supposed to be made between you and one other person. So take it from me, struggling with the consequences – be abstinent
I didn’t wait till marriage and now I am broken up with my ex and I’m feeling that hurt to the max rn because we thought we were gonna get married anyway so it doesn’t matter. What’s worse is that I am a Christian and I knew better and she’s with someone else now and idk it just sucks. Ik this is a comment a year later but if anyone sees this I just need prayer cause I’m going through it BAAAD.
Love this and needed to hear it. If I may though (some unsolicited advice). Communication is VERY important. This is true, however something that comes hand in hand with communication is COMPREHENSION. From my experience I am a wonderful communicator, always have been (thanks to my parents for that) BUT if the person you are communicating with doesn’t comprehend what you are trying to communicate… you come right back to communicating the same thing over and over and over. You can communicate until you are blue in the face but if there is no comprehension or follow through it means nothing. Just my two cents. Agree with all of this though! Keep it up.
Thank you for making this article, I imagine it will help a lot of people. Adding on to what you guys daid, I feel lile the most important key to staying pure until marriage is remembering to keep God first in your relationship. As soon as you stop doing that, it makes it that much harder, cause we can’t win the battle on our own. As simple as it sounds, make sure to find someone who is actually strong in the Lord and work on that yourself, so when you’re together you can be even stronger. My gf and I have agreed to keeping ourselves pure and so far so good a year and a half in, and we have a couple more years to go until we can realistically get married, but when you’re both committed and God is in it, it’s doable. If I can be of help to anyone by answering questions, I would love to be an aid, God bless.
So first off great article. Id like to share a bit of personal insight. Purity itself is subjective. I think a lot of times, people hear it and get triggered or turned off by the topic. Mainly, teaching concent i think has what brought me back to pursing my faith with God. With that said, some advice to some of you who are going into dating. Know that your boundaries should be honored. Somone that loves you will not force you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. It is not your fault if someone violates that boundary. It’s okay to no longer persue or have that person in your life. God can handle them. You dont have to be a part of that. Dating knowing what you want spiritually and long-term can provide a safe place for your life. Christian biblical text models rest alongside hard work. If you haven’t been taught what healthy relationships look like it can be tempting and more familiar to do to something you grew up with sometimes that means dating the wrong person, and sometimes that ment coping with trauma by engaging in unsafe behaviors examples being meaningless hookups, or substance abuse. You are are worthy of love and respect despite those discussions. God does heal. And its possible to be absolutely happy with platonic relationships, or romantic ones. Theres so many types of people in this world and its always okay to ask questions.
I really loved this article from you all, you seem like such an amazing couple that’s truly rooted in god and have that true love and care for each other that god intended. Like this right here is litteraliy what god intended marraiges/relationships to be, and what I always imagined it to be, this pure connection with someone, it’s just so much more deep and longer lasting then any shallow short term pleasure. I’ve always had that value of waiting till marriage since I was a kid and up to now as 18 years old. But I’m glad I found a article like this after trying to find more things about waiting until marriage to really re-find the ‘why’ to it. I really get it again now. I see the why through you guys. Both of you really spoke so well on different points and just show me what a relationship grounded in god is, you fulfill each other so much more. And that point of stating boundaries clearly is so important and beautiful because you build trust in one inother, so less worry/fear/anxiety of each other that just ruins your mental health and life. And just you as a person, your confidence in yourself your impact in the world and whatever way your meant to shine gods light through you, it just amplifies so much more, to it’s fullest extent. More connection means less problems, and both of you are just happier and fulfilled. It all makes sense. Thank you so much for making this and god bless 🙏
Thank you so much, this article has given me great insight in the difference between love and lust. Thank you as well for mentioning 1 Cor 13:4-8, backing it up with scripture is really important. It has also given me a real insight to what love is, even though I think I’ve read it before! Thank you for your article, and may God bless you both! Praise the Lord, Amen.
Thanks for the article, I just wanted to point out something about the comment section, many of yall say you waited for marriage and it was the best choice ever, But you also say you got married at:17,18,19,21. You guys may have made the right choice, But you guys didn’t really wait, not to where it gets hard, sure, waiting until you’re an adult is always the right thing, but it’s the bare minimum. getting married straight out of High school just shows that you were impatient, or didn’t mature much before you got married. Can we please here from people who ACTUALLY stayed abstinence well into their 20s
Hi! Make sure you trust God 😊 whenever times are hard and it feels like you have a GIANT mountain in front of you even know it’s hard remember “James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” So remember when you face trials of many kinds God has your back❤❤❤
Hey guys— not sure if you’ll see this, but I love your articles and have been perusal for a while. Seeing your faith inspires me in my own walk and I love the fearless way you are exclaiming the gospel. I think you guys would be great on a podcast and I’d love love love to hear it!!!! Seriously thank you for everything y’all are doing.
Thank you for spreading the word and the message, it’s so beneficial to our youth. I had a child at 16, I in no way waited for marriage – I wasn’t raised with any education on the subject and I went back and forth with religion, atheism, different religions/beliefs. But I’m 23 now, single, just me and my daughter, and I have vowed to now wait until I’m married. I cannot undo the past, but I can make better choices for my future. 🤍 I started to turn to Jesus this year, and it’s been so life changing for us. God is wonderful 💝
One of the weirdest pieces of advice I received (from my father) was too NOT do devotionals together. Dad said he received this advice, didn’t follow it, and wished he had. The reason: spiritual intimacy seems to grow much faster than other intimacies, but none lag behind very far from the one furthest along. That’s not to say you can’t do anything spiritual together, just perhaps not this one thing.
This might seem like an obvious one, but one thing we should all do is avoid people who put pressure on us. If we’re in a relationship, and you really love this person and truly believe this is the person God has intended for you, and you want to honor God and wait for marriage, but this person doesn’t want to wait, if this person is putting pressure on you, bail. Get out ASAP because that is not a Godly person, and neither is that relationship approved by God. He will never ask you to be with someone who tries forcing you to abandon your His will.
A boundary we missed are the parents. Some parents out there try to control and manipulate what they do not know. Maybe it’s to protect their child or unhealthy habits by them. Always protect your relationship. God knows the truth. He sees the ins and outs of your relationship. Parents will always choose the side of their child. That is what hit our relationship. And right now, she is fighting many things. I pray for her as she has stepped away from our engagement.
I am 14 and my girlfriend is 12 and we are both Christians but we only see each other twice a week. My parents don’t want me to have a girlfriend till 16 but I asked God multiple times if it was ok to have another relationship and he vaguely said yes and my sister even asked and she got the same answer. My past relationship has me doubting that she loves me or that she might just stop talking to me. I just need some confidence to do the right thing in our relationship weather that means to end it (which I definitely don’t want to) or just keep trusting in God and that His plan for me will always work out in the end. All prayers are welcome for confidence and confirmation about my relationship. Thanks
idk for me the first part is basically saying, you either love or you lust, you cant have both simultaniously, which I think simply isnt true, I think one can both love someone for who they are as a person, and be unimaginably attracted to them at the same time, and I think that should go hand in hand tbh, but each to their own
Whenever I see young couples, especially ones from unreligious countries, saving themselves for marriage or having boundaries for the sake of God, I feel proud, and I get to understand the wisdom of why has God forbidden intimate relationships outside of marriage. Physical boundaries allow us to go through a spiritual journey that would help us grow and mature more for the next step, which is marriage. Intimacy before marriage will destroy our ability to see through the other person and to understand our needs and desires, our unstable emotions will cause us to think unclearly and confuse true love with lust. Lust thrives in physical intimacy, while love is spiritual and connected to God. If your partner doesn’t take you closer to God, can you really claim that you both have true love for each other? There is no doubt that a life in God’s way is the best way to live life.
I’ve been having worries in regard to what iam going to do after my mission for my church,worried about if iam going to find someone and if I’ll be mentally sound when me and my potential wife want kids ( as in,your mentality can affect intercorse,if your felling down,nervous,depressed,etc.i have depression,so i am bit worried). And id like to add,i dont think its just the temptation to lust upon others,but also temptation toL lust upon our selves,(purposefully fantasizing sex or masturbation,etc).after perusal this article,I feel a bit stronger in knowing how to honor God and how to set boundaries for my self to prepare my self for marriage in the near future,Thank you.
I’m recently engaged and what I struggle with is that I’ve already made the marital commitment. There is literally nothing stopping us from getting married (currently scheduled for August). My fiancee is also in a tenuous living situation with her parents so I not only really just want to scoop her out of there but also we’ve been in a relationship for just over 2 years, I’m in my own apartment now, I feel like I’m ready. And it’s not even the sexual aspect that’s at the forefront of these feelings–I just want us to be able to be with each other without the boundaries that have to come before marriage. I just feel like we’re ready for that, but our wedding isn’t for another 6 months. 😅
40 year old virgin here. I often say just shoot me and put me out of my misery. I used to have standards but now that I’m 40 I’ve dropped all my standards when it comes to romantic relationships and will take anything from people, even crumbs, but I can’t even get that much. It’s torment. No one’s ever loved me and I can’t even get a date. Nobody knows how hard this is because most everyone has been in a relationship at this point in their life. I’m too old for this unintentional abstinence. It’s gone on too long.
As a guy My love language is physical touch, like holding my hand/arm, playing with my hair, cuddling, hugging…I grew up having to sleep in the same bed as my mom but it made me love to cuddle because my mom would always hold me….is cuddling bad with a partner? what about kissing/making out? I also loved to be kissed on my cheek or forehead…
another point is when people have intercourse people forget the spiritual side: you take on the spirit(s) they have, so if they don’t have the Holy Spirit or aren’t walking in the Holy Spirit…then what spirit are you taking on? You become one in the flesh. So if it’s not on God’s terms, whos? These are just some thinking points for you to maybe think about! Have a wonderfully blessed day!
This reminds me of an argument I read from someone about the difference between straight lust and same sex lust. Basically lusting outside of marriage is lusting after something that is not yours to lust after. Once you are married that is your person to feel and share those feelings with. When it comes to same sex lust, you’re lusting after something that is not yours and will never receive God’s blessing of children (The bible clearly states children are a blessing and tells us to be fruitful and multiply). Additionally it is against the nature that he set forth which is why the blessing of children cannot come from this sort of union.
“Now concerning those things you wrote about, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.” “I wish all were as I am. Nevertheless each one has his own gift from God, one of this kind and another of that.” “The unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord.” “In view of the current distress, I want to spare you much trouble.”
I think allot struggle with I personally thought intimacy was intimacy on any level but after reading the Bible I feel like intimacy is hugging your pastor when you walk in affirming someone who has a good point of view trusting your neighbors enough to put the paranoia or manipulation or baiting attitude in the shape of a brick wall you torture yourself in when you can be authentic and intimate without going so far to getting pregnant help more hug more smile more trust more and grow more castles are build for war fill that intimacy void with what it is supposed to be filled with… The family of 8-9 billion
I just want to preface that this article is very good and I think that many people could take accurate advice from it. With that said, I did have a problem with one part of it. in the part when they were talking about the difference between thinking about having intimacy with someone, and actually doing it. It kinda seemed like that they were saying that it is some sort of spectrum, like that having sex is worse in a sin/God’s judgement perspective then just thinking about it. I just wanted to clear this up by saying that that they are the exact same thing. “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” – Mattthew 5:27-28 Lusting after someone,regardless of who your are or who they are, already means the same thing as if you were to have intimacy with them. WAIT A SECOND: “JBreeden, if you saying that even THINKING about having intimacy with my partner is the same as doing it, then why not do it?” Well, for one: you are still lusting, and therefore, committing more sin. Second of all: They stated in the article you become very attached to that partner when you have the intimacy with them, and in most cases this can be unhealthy before marriage. I am not saying you should have that special time before marriage, I am saying that its not a spectrum and that all sin is equally bad in the eyes of God (that is what this comment is for).
WOW thanks for the good advice especially when it revolves around sex. Especially for someone who didn’t wait till marriage now I’ll know about these things. But also since I turned my life into gods hands and followed Jesus I don’t want sex I get sick even thinking about it. But thanks for the advice just in case I get tempted😊
Thanks for these testimony. I’m single now but I’m worried to how to confront all this issues, because I want to be in the Truth and that implies to make a lot of change in my life, including the sexual aspect. I like this girl who I met some weeks ago, and it’s possible that it would be reciprocated. And she’s not believe, and my faith is weak and insecure, so I preview some hard conversations. (P.S.: I’ve not idea if I wrote this correctly, I’m still learning english XD)
I think waiting would be a lot easier if we adopted some aspects of courting. For example, public dates, involving parents from the get go (meaning having your parents involved, input especially if good role models). If important questions were asked and only hanging out at each other’s home when parents are present and not alone. I am stating to realize dating doesn’t really promote the godliness we desire to grow into, why? Oftentimes we only tell our closest friends about a significant other and than maybe a few months later our parents however, we should have our parents observe the dynamic and give wisdom from beginning if the are Godly because they can sot things you can’t, intimidate users, and give you sound wisdom. Also many don’t ask important questions when they date and only care about personality but again if God says a godly person is blessed and favored by both God and men, just because you don’t vibe with the person the first time, you might after more times with them yk. And you would feel a lot safer with your parents knowing the whole time.
I watched this article bc my parents said I cuddled with my bf too much I don’t desire for sex and we’ve dated for a year and had our first kiss after over a year of liking each other and I’ve never made out but I freaked out bc my mom said “once yall start making out it’ll be harder to not go all the way” and so yah😭
My question is, is it ok to have both love and lust? I am talking to a guy, and we’re both Christians, and I want to be with him cuz I care about him and I want to make him happy and feel loved, but I also know that being with him will benefit me and make me happy and I know I can gain a lot from him.
On the reason not to: there’s not only that it’s God’s command and God trying to protect us from getting hurt. Another very important aspect of it is the holiness of the covenant of marriage and how it all (including sexual intimacy) is one of the clearest pictures God gives of the trinity, as well as the unity between Christ and the church. In our individuality, we are the image of God and His character and we are rulers on earth in His name. But it is in a righteous marriage that we are the image of that holy oneness through the unity of its parts (out of 2 become 1, not the other half, like we hear so often – but true unity without destroying the individuality) and where we reflect the love and sacrifice and everything Jesus did for His church. It is by living a biblical marriage and biblical love and intimacy and service and submission and sacrifice, etc. that we best reflect Jesus’ relationship with us out for the world to see. I’d say if we understand anything about God’s holiness and/or Jesus’ loving sacrifice for the church, that is a pretty compelling reason to absolutely nail our relationship from the first meeting till “death do us part”. (Not to mention that if it somehow doesn’t work out and you don’t get married: do you really want to stand before God the Father and have to ask him to forgive you for unnecessarily hurting His daughter – or son – because you couldn’t control your impulses? Learning to look at people as His children, in general, helps you a lot to treat them well.
I thought it was bad for a man to touch a woman until marriage because 1 Corinthians 7:1 says, “Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.” It also says in James 4:17, “Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is a sin.” Do these verses matter? I’m genuinely asking because a little while ago, God showed me that, and I’m only 17, so I want to know yalls thoughts.
I think the most important think is not to push those opinions on others. “Oh ur waiting till marriage? *ur so brave *that’s cute *well ur young *good luck” “Oh u aren’t waiting?! *u know that isn’t good *ur never going to be able to heal from that *ur creating soul ties you know *that’s gross * you’re so young ” Just let other people do what they want. Don’t press that on other people. *
Vous devez apprécier son honnêteté et sa responsabilité ici. Les hommes doivent vraiment écouter ces femmes lorsqu’ils essaient de les mettre en jeu pour que ces bêtises ne leur arrivent pas. Les femmes occidentales ne peuvent pas se marier et les hommes doivent cesser de chercher l’amour ici. C’est parti et ça ne reviendra jamais.
@JacobPetersen Much like the celebrities, I doubt you will read this 😂, but articles like these are ones that, despite the views, will get the audience’s attention. Not that the views matter, but it allows you to be able to plant a seed. I would recommend making a article about calling 100 people to God, bringing 100 people to God. Creative ways to get people’s attention like this is perfect. You are an awesome man, keep praising!
Does cuddling cause the same impact as falling to temptation? Is it a sin? In the moment it seems all fine and dandy, but there is a connection made through it that does cause hurt after a breakup, even if no sexual acts took place. When I held a girl for the first time while cuddling, I felt my brain get high off of this connection, and now that the woman is out of my life, it hurts tremendously, even though we only cuddled once. We bonded first and more through our shared values, but I don’t know if the physical side is what makes this so hard. I pray on it often, I ask for strength to power through the consequences of my possible sinning. I often feel strength, but then I feel weak again.
I wasn’t raised Christian so I lost my virginity when I was young I found Christ and have been Christian for years now I’ve had a lot of non Christian relationships and this I’m in my first Christian relationship I’m 18 my boyfriend is 17. I’m his first relationship and so we both have such different experiences. I don’t know how to make the relationship progress without having physical intimacy. Any advice on how to progress in a Christian relationship without physical intimacy?
Hii Guys, What an amazing article. I’ve learned a lot. But I still have a question. Because I’m in a relationship right now. God confirmed that she is the one. God confirmed her that I am the one. Because its Gods will. But that makes the struggle even harder for us. Because we know that this will end up in marriage. But that’s why our struggle is harder. Because we didn’t do it yet, but we are making love like we are doing it and if this goes further eventually we will do it. But the physical aspect of it. Feels so good trusted, loved, etc never felt like this. We both feel like this is Gods given. Because we know that we are meant for each other. But my question basically is. How can we still stay holy and honor God in it until marriage ? Besides the fact and knowing that we are meant for each other. As far as I know not a lot of people speak about this.
my boyfriend hasn’t waited for marriage, I am and he’s also now waiting for marriage, I know when the time comes and were married I’m afraid of being compared to with his past. how can I overcome that thought?, it’s not my intention to judge him for having a past I know I’m not perfect but I’ve always wanted to lose it with a virgin too, how can I change my thoughts in a positive way?
I don’t understand “waiting til marriage”. Why not marry right now? Why wait? If there’s doubt you want to spend your life with a person that your spending your time with, isn’t that contradictory? Also it is possible to observe someone’s repentance from afar to see if they are of the faith without dating them. I’ve heard about courtship but what examples in the bible describes courtship outside of marriage?
I’ve already been with multiple people before marriage I loved Colin n f me good but it didn’t work. Feel stupid for saying that. I am trying to wait with my boyfriend the last guy I was with I didn’t wait I tried to at first and then it backfired. By the time I f*** him I regretted it because shit got so weird I acted like a christian. I find it going against your body, your feelings and your heart just backfires.
Isn’t lust the reason we get married in the first place? Like the Bible literally says if you can’t not be tempted get married.. I’m all for love and believe in soulmates but lust plays a heavy role in the way we choose for the rest of our lives we have to be with that person. I hope my person is super spicy
Okay but how do you get back from you know … ? I’m in a healthy relationship but it got to the point where we fell into temptation and it has become a part of our relationship. How do we get back from it, back on the correct path ? Especially if my bf views it as, well we will get married anyways so what is the point in going through the wait ? How do i battle this, HELP
Jacob, Julia, i wish you will read and maybe answer my comment. You see, im homosexual, and i dont want to be judge for that, and i ask myself :”Is my sexuality a problem between God and me ?” And i dont have a bible at my home, so i want youre help, but please, dont judge me, because i come to claim only help !
With all due respect, isn’t weak minded to refuse so much access/contact with your partner because you fear stepping out of line? Like, can’t you control yourself and behave? If you’re alone with other person’s belongings are you going to steal it? It’s the same logic to me and I don’t get it. You either trust yourself and have principles or you don’t.
What would be your guys advice on a relationship where it’s not entirely “godly” and what I mean by that is I believe in God and so does my partner, but he’s “still living in the world” and I’m trying to live for God and be taken out/set apart from the world. We had issues with sex mainly because I wanted to wait again for marriage and my partner didn’t fully understand but also understood if that makes sense 😅🤦🏽lol so I ended up deciding that maybe I want to wait till marriage again and he at first wasn’t sure if he would do that but now he is. And so it’s technically like day 2 (hella fresh) and I’m not sure how to navigate this with a partner who doesn’t entirely understand Scripture and what God has to say about it. What do u guys think 💬🤔? 😆 Hopefully that was somewhat understandable haha (update, but we aren’t together now 😢it’s hard but we had too)
Question: if say a Christian couple ended up ‘doing it’ before marriage but didn’t mean for it to happen it just did. but they both really want to marry each other one day they just haven’t been together that long (like a couple of months let’s say) so that’s why they aren’t married yet, but they both still definitely want to get married. Because they’ve already done it with each other, should they set these boundaries to make sure it doesn’t happen again until they’re married? Or does it not matter anymore because they’ve already done it once so what’s the point? I’m sorry it’s a long question, I just would really like to know your thoughts on it😅
in my opinion and knowledge of the gospel. life’s too sort to wait, sin CAN be forgiven. god isn’t going to suddenly cast you hell for 1 wrong thing. if that was the case heaven would be empty. there is not 1 person on this earth that hasn’t sinned. our almighty God forgives no matter what. i hate to say this but you never know what’s going to happen tomorrow and if something did happen (God forbid) you may be living in regret wishing you fulfilled your desires with each other. That’s what happened to one of my family members many years ago, he still remained faithful after the passing for 50+ years until he passed, bless him. true love should not be restricted, all is forgiven. good luck though and i wish you both the best.
Actually having sex and staying with your partner your married you don’t gotta have a ring and bow down beacuse having sex makes you one and being married makes you one just to let everyone know thats why we can’t sleep around so that means you guys are still not married until sex and becoming one flesh but be careful and lusting is thinking about sex with a random other than your wife not how they look it can lead to that but its not about having a type
Copulation is sexually moral. Nothing wrong with it. A single man and a single woman. Not everyone is called for marriage and singlehood is just as important as marriage, it is the time to be totally focused on God and sharing his love with everyone that crosses your path for his glory. Single sighted. But most every person hits puberty. Quit being so hard on yourself. Being a male and female in a relationship is already honoring God by choosing sexual morality over fornication or abomination. Leviticus 15:16-18 How can you be ready to forsake all others in a marriage if you don’t even know what it’s like with anyone else. Singlehood is important. 1 Corinthians 7:27.
No God absolutely does not “restore your purity” and by definition of what it is it cannot be restored. This is a heretical “get out of jail free card” view on Christianity. A murderer is still a murderer. He MAY be forgiven after death if he TRULY atoned his ENTIRE LIFE. Said murderer would’ve still have been a much better person to be around had her never done that, fact
I have a question. Why do people still have sex? Sex is very gross, nasty, messy, and disgusting! I don’t see how sex is a good thing. Why don’t humans just remove sex from this world? Women can still get pregnant without sex (there’s a lot of ways women can get pregnant without sex including artificial insemination). Sex is unnecessary.
What happened before laws and religious organisations were created. Couples were not married? Marriage goes beyond this. That’s why the statement “Wait until marriage” is nonsensical. When two people are alligned in their mind, body and spirit then the time is right. A couple can be married legally, in a church, but their love isn’t true. Always follow the natural path, not man made beliefs. There you will find the true God and the way.