Over the past half-century, marriage has become less likely to anchor American families, leaving more children to experience family instability and single parenthood. A child’s learning and socialization are most influenced by their family, as it is the primary social group. Family dynamics are crucial in shaping a child’s growth and development, with interactions and relationships within a family significantly influencing emotional, social, and cognitive development.
Nurturing relationships in a family is critical for the healthy development of a child, as it helps with the formation of their self. A study funded by the National Institutes of Health reveals that a child’s family life has more influence on a child’s development through age four and a half than does a child’s experience in child care. Beyond attachment theory, a relational health science approach offers a wider lens for understanding how interactions between children and adults are shaped, modified, and redefined by overlapping institutional and organizational forces such as the economy, family, education, politics, religion, and so on.
Family plays a vital role in infant development and behavior, as parents’ divorce can be a stressful experience. The role of family in child development is vital, providing emotional security, promoting positive relationships, and cultivating a sense of belonging and self-worth. Family structure experiences matter for child development because they influence children’s caregiving environments, including the levels of parenting and economic resources available.
Remarriage affects child outcomes, and frequent changes of family structure have significant impacts on child outcomes. Family structure transitions, regardless of type, may negatively influence child development by disrupting family roles and routines and potentially leading to negative effects on mental health and overall well-being.
In conclusion, the family role as an educator is a crucial contributor to child development, as it shapes a child’s values, skills, socialization, and security during childhood stages.
| Article | Description | Site |
|---|---|---|
| The Role of Family in Child Development | The family role as an educator is a crucial contributor to child development. We are “teaching” our children from the day they are born, not … | centreforemotionalhealth.org.uk |
| Why is family important in a child’s development? | Having loving family and caregivers around helps a child build a solid foundation that will affect their future relationships, work, health and sense of self. | abcquality.org |
| Children First: Why Family Structure and Stability Matter for … | Children do better when they receive high levels of affection, attention, and consistent discipline from their parents (Baumrind 2012). | ifstudies.org |
📹 Yuko Munakata: The science behind how parents affect child development TED
Parents, take a deep breath: how your kids turn out isn’t fully on you. Of course, parenting plays an important role in shaping who …
How Does Family Time Affect Child Development?
Emotional development in children is greatly influenced by the quality time spent with parents, which enhances emotional regulation and social skills. Engaging in shared activities not only strengthens the parent-child bond but also fosters a sense of security and attachment essential for growth. When children receive love and care from family members, they grasp vital developmental skills through strong attachments. The family serves as the child's primary social group, significantly impacting their learning and socialization, especially during the formative years.
Reduced family interaction can compromise children's health and wellbeing. Research indicates that a child's family environment shapes their development more than any other factor up to age four and a half. It also highlights that children's emotional development isn't necessarily affected by subsequent family structure changes but rather by their immediate family experiences. Family influences extend to shaping a child's values, beliefs, and emotional responses, making it vital for families to prioritize quality time together.
Benefits of family time include stronger emotional ties, improved academic performance, increased self-confidence, and enhanced conflict resolution skills. Overall, nurturing a supportive family environment is crucial for fostering adaptability and resilience in children.
How Does Family Planning Affect A Child'S Development?
The interval between pregnancies permits mothers to enhance breastfeeding duration and devote more time to each child, benefiting their physical and emotional development. Family planning plays a crucial role in saving lives, particularly for teenage girls by postponing initial pregnancies. Research indicates that children fare better when raised by committed parents in stable homes with adequate resources and are wanted by their parents. Beyond attachment theory, which focuses on parental sensitivity, a relational health perspective broadens our understanding of parent-child dynamics.
In recent decades, increasing family instability and single parenthood have led to fewer children living with married parents. Positive family interactions, such as communication and support, help cultivate children’s self-esteem and social skills. Family planning programs are associated with resource enhancement, promoting child development by enabling families to allocate more attention and investment in fewer children, thereby increasing child quality.
Access to family planning also potentially reduces maternal and child health risks, including mother-to-child transmission of HIV. Evidence suggests that improved access to contraceptives corresponds with lower birth rates and decreased maternal mortality. Policymakers must prioritize access to quality contraception to empower potential parents in their reproductive choices, significantly impacting women’s and children's health outcomes.
How Does Family Life Affect Children'S Education?
Family engagement is crucial for positive student outcomes, leading to enhanced academic achievement, reduced disciplinary issues, better relationships between parents and teachers, and an improved school atmosphere. It ranks highest among factors influencing student success, reinforcing the idea that school-family partnerships boost grades, attendance, and motivation across diverse racial and income backgrounds. A study comparing the USA, Germany, and China highlights strong socioeconomic impacts on academic performance, emphasizing the need to scrutinize family background's role early in education.
Families shape children's learning through home activities and school involvement, fostering literacy, math skills, and emotional development. However, persistent inequalities arise from the enduring influence of family background, necessitating policies that focus on educational equity. Research consistently shows that children's well-being is directly linked to parental involvement, highlighting the importance of mutual respect and engagement in educational settings.
Children with actively involved parents generally exhibit better attendance, higher self-esteem, and improved behavior, which contributes to overall school success. Moreover, family structure significantly influences social and behavioral outcomes like school suspensions, reinforcing the notion that an emotionally supportive learning environment is critical for children's academic achievements and personal growth.
Why Is Family The Most Important In Child Development?
The family unit, comprising the father and mother, plays a crucial role in a child's healthy development by providing security, love, and protection. Parental interactions are vital for emotional stability (Ribeiro, 2007). Families offer emotional support, foster a sense of belonging, stimulate educational growth, and promote cognitive development throughout various life stages. Parents, caregivers, and family members serve as a child's first teachers, instilling values and a strong sense of security.
Research highlights that warm, communicative parenting leads to socially competent adolescents with lower rates of substance abuse. The family is the primary agent of socialization, shaping children's learning and socialization from birth. Quality early parent-child relationships significantly impact children's socioemotional, cognitive, neurobiological, and health outcomes. Families nurture future citizens by shaping children's perceptions from a young age.
Teachers and families work together to set educational goals and maintain two-way communication for enhanced learning. Children thrive in stable, loving environments where their basic needs for shelter, food, and emotional security are met. A solid family foundation influences children's future relationships, academic achievements, and overall well-being. Ultimately, family life significantly affects a child's development, particularly before the age of four and a half, more than any other external care experiences.
What Are The Effects Of Family Life On Childhood?
Families play a crucial role in fostering security, trust, and confidence in children, shaping their self-perception and interactions with the world. They influence all aspects of a child's development—biological, social, emotional, and cognitive—through various mechanisms such as genetics, relationships, cultural values, and routines. In recent decades, marriage has become less central to American family life, leading to increased family instability and single parenthood for many children.
This shift affects children's overall development, with research highlighting the importance of early parent-child relationships for later socioemotional, cognitive, and health outcomes. Positive family experiences can mitigate the effects of childhood adversity, while disruptions such as divorce can lead to lasting problems, including emotional and behavioral challenges. Children learn vital social skills within the family context, such as trust and relationship-building, forming a foundation that impacts their future interactions and overall well-being.
Furthermore, children in stable, loving homes generally enjoy more resources and stability, which supports their development better than childcare experiences alone. While adverse experiences can have detrimental effects, nurturing family dynamics characterized by healthy communication and affection can enhance a child's mental health and resilience, emphasizing the critical role families play in shaping children's lives and futures.
How Do Family Dynamics Affect A Child'S Development?
Family dynamics are pivotal in influencing a child's growth and development, significantly affecting their emotional, social, and cognitive skills. Positive family interactions and effective communication create supportive environments where children flourish. Conversely, conflictual dynamics can lead to developmental challenges. The structure of family experiences shapes caregiving environments, impacting parenting quality and available economic resources. Early parent-child relationships are crucial for the child's socioemotional, cognitive, and health outcomes, highlighting the importance of secure attachments and supportive bonds.
Stepfamilies introduce complex dynamics that can affect children's well-being, creating additional challenges. The stress mediation model addresses how instability from parental transitions may impact a child’s mental health. Research indicates that children living apart from both biological parents often experience negative outcomes. Those raised in loving family environments are more likely to develop healthy futures, as stable family dynamics promote positive self-perception and relationship skills.
Understanding parenting styles, conflict resolution, and intergenerational influences contributes to comprehending how family contexts affect emotional regulation and overall child development. Ultimately, supportive family relationships build a solid foundation that significantly shapes children’s emotional landscapes and future interactions.
How Can Home Life Affect Child Development?
Whether in an owned or rented home, the environment significantly influences a child's growth. A safe, healthy setting is critical for learning, while adverse conditions can hinder intellectual and emotional development. Research indicates that overcrowded living situations negatively affect self-regulation in young children. The home environment plays a crucial role in a child's ability to focus, manage emotions, and make decisions, shaping their educational progress and lifelong health from before birth.
Alarmingly, around 40% of children aged 2-4 lack adequate responsive interactions at home, with 10% missing essential activities with caregivers. Effective home environments foster learning activities and meaningful parent-child interactions, pivotal for cognitive development. The chaotic household also correlates with negative outcomes for children and families. While educators cannot directly address every child's home situation, they can promote supportive practices.
Research suggests that family life more significantly impacts development than childcare experiences, emphasizing the importance of a nurturing environment. Loving caregivers establish a foundation for future relationships and well-being. Overall, the family home is a vital contributor to early cognitive and behavioral development, affecting a child's self-perception and interactions with the world.
Does Family Structure Affect Child Development?
Extensive research highlights the significant impact of family structure experiences on child development, influencing caregiving environments and the availability of parenting and economic resources. As marriage rates decline in American families, an increasing number of children face instability and single parenthood. The presence of loving family members and caregivers is crucial for nurturing a child's foundational relationships, self-identity, and future interactions.
Family dynamics play a vital role in shaping emotional, social, and cognitive development, where children thrive in supportive environments. Evidence suggests that transitions from two-parent families generally have more negative effects on children's development than transitions into two-parent settings. The implications of family instability are particularly pronounced for children in higher-income families, compared to those in lower-income contexts.
Growing concerns about diverse family structures emerged during the rise of single-parent families and divorce rates, especially in the 1960s and 1970s. Thus, comprehensive studies on family structure's effects on children's mental health and well-being are essential. Additionally, children from intact families typically demonstrate better academic, physical, and emotional health. Ultimately, family structure serves as a crucial indicator of children's access to resources that shape their well-being, and transitions in family dynamics may lead to feelings of loss or instability, impacting cognitive and behavioral outcomes.
Does Family Life Influence A Child'S Development?
A recent study funded by the National Institutes of Health has demonstrated that family life significantly influences a child's development from birth to four and a half years old, even more than child care experiences. Families play a pivotal role, providing emotional support, moral guidance, and cultural education. The dynamics within a family shape children's cognitive and behavioral patterns, establishing the foundation for their worldviews and interpersonal skills early on.
Parents and caregivers are often a child's primary educators, imparting essential values, nurturing attachments, and teaching developmental skills. The stability and resources available within a family unit directly impact a child's caregiving environment and overall development. Positive family interactions foster a secure and trusting atmosphere, which is vital for healthy emotional, social, cognitive, and physical growth. Furthermore, children view their families as their first social group, making familial influence crucial for learning and socialization.
The necessity of love, commitment, and consistency in a family structure cannot be overstated, as these elements contribute to a child's future relationships and self-perception. Ultimately, the family's role in child education and development is foundational, shaping children as they navigate their foundational years.
📹 What is the most important influence on child development Tom Weisner TEDxUCLA
If you could do one thing – the most important thing – to influence the life of a young child, what would that be (it’s likely not what …
as a father of a 2 year old and very sassy daughter, i went through a few parenting styles, and this are my reflections. always be open to learn and to be taught, not just by others, but even by your child. always be ready to shift and constantly adjust your parenting style according to your childs personality remember you will make mistakes, try to forgive yourself and become better.
This completely ignores the expansive research on how parents do indeed shape their children. ACEs, or adverse childhood experiences (like emotional neglect, an imprisoned parent, an emotionally or physically ill parent, critical or overbearing parent, switching schools, community violence, hunger…almost all of us have ACEs and thus trauma) lead to major dysfunctions in neurological, physical, physiological, mental, emotional etc developments that carry on into adulthood. They lead to early death through chronic disease, low achievement and thus low wages and living and working conditions and likelihood of living in polluted areas, depression and anxiety and other disorders which also in turn cause physical disease…I could write a book. Our parents can shape how we think, live, our views of ourselves and our views of others and thus the world, what we achieve…not to say that we can’t grow, learn better, change, heal…but to say that no matter who parents a child, they will be the same person is so idiotic and absurd and anti-science, I really can’t believe it’s posted here
It has been found that infants brought up in a family where one parent is “loving” but the other is “hostile” towards the child causes maldevelopment of the parts of the brain that govern anger. As adults such children often have “anger management” problems …they can suddenly switch from a calm demeanour to extreme anger.. Psychiatrists who really “know the score” speak of the influence of the “significant other” in the person’s childhood. Other types of parental behaviour cause depression in adult life. The worst thing a mother can do to a toddler when out and about is to threaten to leave it …the infant can experience a profound panic … that can lead to schizophrenia in adult life.
My mother has high expectations, and when I couldn’t live up to that she would constantly compare me with other people’s children. She would praise my elder sister constantly till this day. After 35 years, I realized this has caused me to question myself, lost my confidence and afraid to stand up for myself (because she would always give me the eye & ever ready to point out my faults). I will not be like her with my children. I had a miscarriage and she still chose to tell me that one person (both of us knew) who is older than me “could get pregnant and have a baby”. Parents! Just love your children no matter what.
I think this is useful for new moms who are so drowned with ‘good parenting’ they saw on social media. Like if you don’t give montessori toys to your kids in time, they will not develop to their full potential and thus will be a late bloomer and fail academically. Or those ads that claim they can pinpoint a child’s talent & potential just by their fingerprints. And as she said, for parents who blame themselves for their child’s ‘fault’, also for parents who blame their every problems on their parents–who are actually kind & great parents, but still human with their own shortcomings (not gonna talk about abusive or other mentally incompetent people). This article is soothing for me, and i empathise so much with her experience. I don’t understand why a talk is not deemed good if it’s not up to your standard. It simply means that you are not the target audience, and i see nothing wrong with it.
Definitely a article full of and with enormous truths… it´s like me and my brother,. We´ve been raised the same way, same parents, same conditions, and, in fact, we couldn´t be more distintic from each other. It´s not only parents and friends in general what shapes a person. Many things influence a child. Sometimes a person is what he or she is and there´s nothing to do with anything.
17 minutes given to a Ted Talk and I’m wondering what I watched. This is that kind of talk where someone wants to do good by some people and end up doing nothing or doing worse. I get it that we have a lot of confusing parenting styles, but trying to make it look like no matter how hard we try it’s a thing of luck is more like saying, ‘don’t bother trying, we’re all gonna die anyways.’ Parents can do more, and as a former child and currently a parent, I think we need to be constantly improving because our actions matter a lot.
She admits children are shaped by their “cultural environment” but completely ignores the role of parents (as adults) in curating that. Who does she think creates culture – the fairies? Also she ignores the role of parents in setting basic norms around moral boundaries and standards of behaviour from an early pre-school age eg don’t hit your school buddies and don’t steal their lunchbox etc.
all i’m saying is two teachers and my psychologist have called child protection on my parents 3 times in the past and i’ve spent collectively 6 months inpatient in children’s psychiatric hospitals from diagnosed as PTSD and depression induced psychosis… and the depression itself 🤦♀️ my brain is shaped around all of that. i’m 18 in three months. this is NOT an excuse for non self-aware abusive parents — including emotionally and verbally, the not so physically apparent forms of abuse — to reinforce that ignorance and their massive fucking role in their child’s path. THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU. my mum is in complete denial of her personal emotionally abusive part. complete denial. claims she did everything right, that i and everyone blame her. i know how dangerous this article would be if she saw it. THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO ABUSIVE PARENTS. KEEP THAT IN MIND. this is low key dangerous. there is so so so so so much substantiated evidence that our upbringing and exposure during development affects the child. so much.
What rollercoaster of emotions I’ve been sustaining during this quite paradoxically monotonous toned expressed trip that was this article, Ted articles really are one of the unique organisations that 100%, emphasis on the entirety of the compliance, stay true to their slogan, absolutely ideas worth sharing. Also am kinda happy to be reinforced by such a high authority in the field that I had the right kind of perspective on the way I would one day do my part of parenting, peace //
The words “success” and “successful” are used a lot here. I’ve never thought about these words in raising my children (which I’m still doing). I emphasize priorities with them. Showing them how to respect others and themselves etc. At the end of the day, relationships are what bring fulfillment. My hope is I teach them how to communicate and listen so they will have productive relationships. Rich, poor, etc is not my concern. But then again, what do I know. 🤣
My sons were so different in so many ways. one took his life. The other one ended up in jail because of drugs. He is now a real blessing to me. I always blamed myself for their destruction but realized there is free will and no matter how much I talked to them…it didn’t matter. They chose the road they went down. They either learned from their experiences or gave up on life.
Didn’t want to comment but thought it may help others. It’s a nice talk and we are saddened to learn of Yuko’s son’s experience. However, parents are the greatest influencers over their own children, and in some cases, other children though not their own, but spend a considerable amount of time with them. The talk and message are slightly vague and there was no real science in this presentation. Not diminishing Mrs. Munakata’s courage to share her experience and do indeed agree with the overall point about allowing a child to become whatever they choose without the parent feeling guilty. However, we unequivocally state that parenting has a profound effect on the overall result of how a child views life’s journey, not limited to external factors such as socioeconomic factors, community, schooling, and so forth. The child will ultimately decide how they behave as they grow into adulthood, but a parent’s guidance can greatly affect ‘how’ they view any particular circumstance or decision. Finding the balance to allow a child to figure things out for themselves, while also protecting them from harm, is in fact a parent’s greatest challenge.
Parenting is not a consistent and clear method. You can find different methods and ways how to behave with your children, but the most important thing is being flexible and resilient to adjust yourself to the current situation. Your children can behave in unpredictable ways and you should be able to manage and handle the situation. But still, there is a question for me, how to evaluate our parenting methods? How to realise that we are on the correct path or not? Is there anything we need to change? Where do we stand in our children’s life?
I don’t know about shaping the kids’ future, but parents can definitely teach the kids to be polite, civilized and kind citizens for sure. Parents can definitely teach their children that violence, stealing, robbing, and killing are definitely immoral and BAD! Parents can also teach their children that they shouldn’t do anything that will hurt or hinder someone else’s freedom or life. Just a few basics to operate in a civilized society that has mutual empathy and respect 🙏🏼
She totally dismisses the fact that not every parent is emotionally stable or strong enough to raise a child. Being to critical on a child, emotianol outbreaks, emotional neglect, VERBAL ABUSE those are ALL things that will effect your children and sometime eventually traumatise them. If you are not emotionally stable enough and decide to have a child and ignore the fact that you are responsible for the way you child turnes out, DONT BE SUPRISES THAT THEY CUT YOU OFF. This article is for parents who are emotionally stable, who don’t suffer from generational trauma and the ones that are not abusive. Cause for a fact you ARE the one who shapes your child and the experiences it has and why it is fucked up later because YOU traumatized them. So I repeat. DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN IF YOU ARE NOT EMOTIONALLY STABLE. This article is for NON ABUSIVE Parents.
My father completely ignored me when I, a 13 year old traumatized kid who didn’t know how else to communicate, showed him I wanted to kill myself by acting out slitting my wrists. He just shook his head at me as if to say “stop it” like I was looking for attention. This speech does not take into account parents who neglect their children, so with all due respect, don’t tell me to stop blaming my parents.
I respect the massive amount of research, and I would love to hear how they accounted for this…I can’t get around the fact that in a family the parent(s ) treat their children radically differently, so the implicit premise I hear in this talk that two or more children were raised in the same household must have a shared baseline experience is an untenable assumption, as it is not the same house, each child in that household lives in a radically different world…the spolied/favorite child lives in a different universe than the neglected one or the one deemed a black sheep at birth. So all the research that says children born in the same household were raised alike is a deeply flawed premise. The differences they perceived in a given household doesn’t demonstrate that parenting doesn’t matter, it shines a light on the under discussed fact that parents treat their children in unfair and drastically different ways, so each child in the household has a unique experience and will develop accordingly.
I think parents can affect their children in ways that are difficult for scientific experiments to measure. E.g. how the child feels about intimate relationships, the child’s attitude towards getting married and starting a family, or whether the child is drawing strength from her childhood to tackle everyday adversities or is the child drawing strength from everyday life to mend childhood scars.
This women literally says nothing for the 1st half of the talk. Parents inflict trauma weather its intentional or not, a good parent will understand the differences in their kids and parent accordingly. Parents have a MASSIVE influence over the development of their kids. I understand her point about how a child’s core nature is hereditary but the way a parent deals with that core nature has a very big influence on the child’s view and approach to the world and their subsequent success or failure. I by no means feel I am defined by my parents but I definitely hold resent towards my addict mother and my father being absent. Telling parents not to blame themselves as blanket advice is dangerous, you can’t understand the intricacies in the social fabric of a family unit, even one that looks very stable and happy on the surface. This talk is addressed to a specific kind of parent and not really to many other parents who don’t necessarily hold the same assumed motives that this women characterizes parents with. I understand her point but the speaker is far too assuming of who she is talking to. I don’t have all the research collected in one place and I’m not a psychologist but I just struggle accept her narrative especially based on my experiences and those of many around me.
Old adage, from a Major Old Lady, aka Mom… We cannot take all of the credit for the good or the bad behavior or character traits in our kids. They can be raised in a great home, and turn out hellions or serial murderers. They can be raised in a hellish environment and turn out to be an Angel of mercy and going on to be a World leader or World changer, right? Keep your chin up, people, ok? ⚘🙏❤🙏⚘
I don’t know if anyone would read this but here I go I’m a 14 year old teen who’s trying to remain positive and strong 24/7. Growing up I was a happy kid. Both of my parents loved me and still do I guess? But what is love for your child? I never knew what it was. No one ever taught me any word of wisdom yet Alhamdulillah I’m well aware of it. Growing up in a south asian household I thought scolding swearing and abusing kids were normal. This was all cuz of my mom. She did a lot for me a lot but you should be aware of what you should say to your kid right? Recklessly hitting shouting swearing and etc etc. And guess what she never had a reason, I never got a single complain from my school and always got good grades. Then why? Well I wish I knew. Today she kicked me in my forehead while I was having a conversation with dad (dad is friendly tho) It just hurts. A lot. Specially when you know you’ve done nothing wrong. She called me bad spirit. I still just wanna say that if this happens to you please don’t feel bad you’re not alone and It’s never your fault. You’ll go through hardships and It’s okay, may God forgive them and show them the right path even tho It’s already too late. Kids who are being abused can never be the same again. Never. If you’re perusal this I just wanna say that I love you and you’re precious 🤍 Thanks for reading till the end.
So basically, according to her, one shall give birth and let them loose because it’s already pre-determined by genetics how child is going to turn out. If they do not have any influence, I wonder what parenting is all about then ? If two children are turning out different from each other, it’s highly possibly one is influenced by mother and another by father. Using this to say, it’s all genetics and environment and none parenting is absurd.
– it makes me wonder about which studies were used and how the children and parents were followed. Also would crappy neglectful parents even be a part of studies used for this research? If my parents were asked to be part of a study they would not have done so willingly. Parents are the number one “conditioners” in early childhood I had assumed. It makes me think of Little Albert. That poor child was conditioned to be terrified of white things. Also the problem of how two kids in the same family can experience two entirely different parenting experiences. This talk opened up so many questions for me. Most parents want to do right by their children but I would assume that this talk could give parents license to treat their children with less regard? I get we have no control over what our little humans will turn out like given the best of circumstances and what effects will be carried with them and what will not. The discovery that trauma is carried down genetically how would that work with this theory? Interesting talk
“Adverse Childhood Experiences are the single greatest unaddressed public health threat facing our nation today.” – Dr. Robert Block, former president of the American Academy of Pediatrics Please become trauma informed. Especially if you’re a parent, take the time to learn about multigenerational trauma.
I hope she and her kid find happiness. This doesn’t seem like a scientific presentation… more an odd collection of assumptions based on flimsy evidence for about 9 minutes or so… followed by a brief period of sanity during which she almost seemed a tad impartial — which was refreshing, but no more enlightening, since the stated evidence didn’t support her conclusions — and finished off with what seemed to be some wallowing in her fiercely personal need to share her mingled grief and hope with others. Gets people talking, I guess. Worst presentation I’ve ever seen on TED though, by a massive margin.
It seems that the best we can do is provide our children with ‘tools’ to help them to navigate their own worlds. Like how to treat others, deal with fear and anxiety and how to critically think about complex matters and how to be strong but empathetic. Aside from that make their environment at home as fun, encouraging and educational as possible.
when i was a kid i used to get hit by my parents and i didnt care when i became older i understood y my parent used to hit me it is because the did not want me to go the wrong path but they always loved me even tho sometimes when i do the wrong thing they hit me. so yh i mostly think its how countries raise their children and most problems comes from the western countries. when i have children i will raise the way i was taught by my parents is the best way for me.
The concept of parenting as an occupation, or working, is typical, and it holds a sense of permanence in our adult minds. It is not a science, at all, with little or no measures. Good grades and earning potential, too, have little correlation to parenting, unless it is the rod enforcing the study time. I’d rather look at parenting as a practice, individualized in each case. It’s not so much about what decisions we make, but how we go about making decisions. We make decisions about parenting based on what little knowledge we have, and on our own lived experiences. Sometimes, I think other parents make dumb decisions. They ARE dumb, but the parent doesn’t realize that, and so continue dumb parenting. Parenting as a gatekeeper or taskmaster only limits learning. Instead, parenting as practice establishes a framework that places the child’s unique development first, followed by reflection, and adjustments in order to improve practice. The one, and only, thing every parent has in common…there is precious little time to parent. Parenting and childhood are “temporary” circumstances that can, and do, affect the rest of our lives. It’s imperative that we do the best we can, and that we empower ourselves with tools to improve our parenting, today. Because, soon the opportunity will be gone, and there are no second chances.
This is honestly ridiculous. I was hoping for some tips on what I can do to help my kids, and here I am being told that literally everything I do all day every day as a mom of young children doesn’t matter whatsoever. So trying my best all day to be a happy & positive & loving mom makes no difference on them as opposed to being unloving & yelling at them all day? I beg to differ and will never believe that. I’m so confused why this is even a TED talk
The problem is we are spiritual beings having human experience and we are to pass on emotional mental stability with a emphasis on LOVE ~ really treating others as we want to be treated ~. We are waaaaay to deep in this season on earth for most to still be living in poverty. She said it People don’t know how cycles work Kids can’t explain gravity but it affects them ~ there are 12 spiritual laws as well ~ we need a more spiritual based family foundation ~ we all only get 24 hours at a time and depending on how those 24 are spent will give you your perception of reality ~ my experience is A DAILY REPRIEVE FROM THE WATERS OF CHAOS ON EARTH BASED ON MY SPIRITUAL CONDITION Until we live in harmony again with earth and each other things here will get worse
Of course abuse suffered will influence children in their adulthood. But this talk is not about that. It seems (clearly from the comments so far) that people are very touchy about parenting and ‘feel’ they do influence their kids. There are numerous studies that show how genes and the wider environment have a much bigger influence on how kids turn out. Siblings can be widely different from each other even though they are growing up in the same home (genes can combine in many different combinations we don’t influence – yet) and studies confirm that it is better for a kid to have bad parents in a good neighbourhood than vice versa. Twin adoption studies show how remarkably similar identical twins separated at birth are even if they grew up with very different parents. Of course you have some influence on your kids, but probably by far not as much as you think. For more please check out Steven Pinker’s Blank Slate and Blueprint by Robert Plomin.
I feel enormously triggered and invalidated. If I have not been born and lived with abusive parents, I would not have developed severe PTSD and major depressive disorders. This “researchers” completely disregard the children’ experience could be influenced by the power dynamics in the home: whether they are treated fairly received unconditional love or not, or they have been treated like a scapegoats therefore they feel stifled and controlled
This advice and reasoning is for the privileged lotus-eaters. I dont even know how much direct experience the speaker has with children. As a teacher I engage with children with high socio-economic challenges. Just one kind/supportive/wise parent or teacher can make a world of difference in the most predictable direction in their lives.
Gee, you’re raising an independent person who makes their own decisions. They make most of their decisions based off of fitting in with other children so they don’t feel alone all the time. The television “programming” your child watches or article games they play says more about what they will become as adults than the child’s parents.
That is BS. Imagine in a religious family one child is straight and the other is both an atheist and gay. Do you really think the behaviour of the parents is of no influence especially if they treat the gay child like a persona non grata and concentrate all their attention on the other? Do you really think this child would grow up the same if he was fully accepted by the parents and treated the same way the other one was? You are generalizing something that can not be generalized.
Just a thought, but this talk seems to approach the topic with a little bit too much emotion, rather than passion. It’s a very serious and important topic, you need to be level-headed when entering the context of logical reasoning, otherwise there’s a high chance of emotional bias I’d say. For example, it sounds like what she said about her own child happened recently, too recently. My heartfelt condolences go out to her, yes. But, like others said in the comments, she could be grasping for some kind of relief from her grief by being overly positive.
…. I think that all the cops who have parents should take into consideration that they are just honoring their parents because I feel that the way they were raised should be in question now that they’re so out of hand. …. because I was wronged by police and courts my parents had to take shame and deal with it so I think that the parents of these officers should pay the price of embarrassment in contrast to the pain and suffering that our parents have to deal with when this stuff happens. Would not bring accountability to a new level?? … Force the disgusting and corrupted individuals think about somebody else for a change
Okay So this is a nature vs nurture debate, and your bottom line is nurture doesn’t matter. Got it. If you think that years and years of being exposed to the two most significant figures in your life has no influence on your character, responses and knee jerk reactions, you have missed the bottom line of parenting. As adults, yes, we have the responsibility to better ourselves for ourselves, because this isn’t dependent on our parents anymore, but those behaviors that needs to be unlearned they are due to how we were raised not just our nature.
I don’t think any small child should go through therapy by a normally complete stranger. That’s my take on one side of things. Like what adult is going to sit down and explain. This is extrovert is and that’s introvert. I know my dad never grilled me why I’m naturally a homebody individual. And the basis of me being put in therapy. I’m naturally an introvert or I guess I don’t care to homebody. Nowadays especially. Like with retrospect, I should have never been down and out for how long that I was. But hey it puts my life in a while new but better in every way possible – at least mentally. The whole book of child psychology is outdated to me. Very archaic. Like a form amphetamines used to be used for lobotomy in just the 1800-1900. But methamphetamine is still being prescribed. Just trying to help others now.
This lecture is wrong on so many grounds. Firstly the speaker and her husband are adults with fully formed personalities (formed as a result of their genes and environment a big part of which were their parents) who can not be compared with infants and toddlers who are still on the path of getting their personalities shaped. Secondly, the analogy between hurricane and butterfly might sound good in a Ted Talk but parents contribute so much more than just being a butterfly flap. There are a ton of researches that support that. Talk about self-concept, attachment styles, the parents matter a lot more than she makes it look like. Lastly, learning about child development does help in one’s parenting journey if one intends to put things in practice. It’s not easy to do the right thing. It might mean embracing change on a personal level and that’s hard. This lecture could be a feel-good thing for parents but not help them or their children in any conceivable way.
In other words…its a crap shoot. You can tell one kid they are fat and they become obsessed with being thin, and say the same thing to another kid and they get depressed and overeat and become morbidly obese. You have no guarantee when raising kids. You just hope for the best. Look at the kids that drop out of school and become super successful and the ones that have double doctorates and are junkies working as a janitor.
Good parenting is influenced by one thing and one thing only. OnConcious conciousness rational awareness. being Well evolved from birth…. the truth is that…. 99,99 of humanity is not like this…(me included) we are all damaged…in the future we should trully need to be healed beings first before starting to have children… and onconciously people dont even Understand what this trully means…
Rapture letting feelings make all your decisions for you because you’re a million times more likely to die in a car accident on the way to the airport then you are in a plane in fact you’re more likely to get killed by peanut allergies or falling coconuts but as is usually the case most people would rather feel safe than be safe and good luck in that endeavor
I heard a lot of successful but you seem to have overlooked all the negatives like overstepping manipulative childless freaks with incoherent thoughts who can’t respect the fact that others want to raise their children the way they choose. Have your own kids and influence them anyway you like but you surely should stay in your own lane cuz one of these days somebody’s going to make you regret it if you don’t
Wow broke me alllll up when she started talking about dragon parents damn as i lay here looking at my only and first baby9 month old sleeping on his baby monitor. I cant even handle the thought of how awful that would be to be told your little angel from heaven that you love with your entire heart and soul would only be with you for such a heartbreaking short amount of time and their gone……. 😭💔 i guess this is all you can do is enjoy every moment im so sorry and heartbroken for these and other parents who have lost or had too short of time if any, with your baby. It kills me completely and I am grieving heavy tonight for you all. 💔😭 you are so strong living with this heart wrenching situations….. and i am here with my baby who is healthy and happy but i am so much weaker than you !! I cant even bear the thought
I’m sorry this but talk was garbage. I feel bad saying that but I could write a whole thesis on why the reasoning used here is garbage. So the evidence is that children raised in the same home turn out having different personalities, therefore parenting doesn’t affect children? That’s dumb – its affects each of the children in different ways but there are similarities. I don’t have time to argue the point – theres enough research out there to show parenting has a significant effect on shaping personality.
how your children turn out, we need two incomes? always on the go,? no wounder some men bail out? our socity has changed, we are a prouduct of our environments? I have been around have seen the two micro climates we have on the land of our homes, but they are changing a way of life I feel for children,, they need to bond, the pace is changing, I feel they have drainned the lands of the moisture,, women should breast feed, helps with bonding and work the breast glands, just like a sheep it will give milk untill lamd stops and goes to solids,, I hope we understand the water table, even in the cities, we need that water and snow to stay and work, so what the park floods, at keast it will give back and filter water, that snow we salt away acts like a blanket,, we need to leave some land in the cities and homes and condos for kids environment, >3 we used to care would worry a sky scraper would get in way of birds, or they would fly into them? I feel we could do so much better for future generations with proper planning>3
This article is extremely harmful and dismissive towards all the children & adult children of insidious family systems that render them in debilitating situations of surviving instead of thriving. This is simply a public speaking performance of a person in denial about the realities of developmental trauma.