Supporting a transgender friend or family member is a complex and multifaceted task, as the transgender community is diverse and complex. It is essential to listen closely and trust their experience, using their preferred pronouns and name, and asking questions. If you are their sister, you can help them with shopping and styling tips or allow them to borrow.
To create a culture of safety and show support for transgender and non-binary individuals, it is crucial to educate yourself, listen with an open heart, and be a good advocate. Talking to them and treating them like any other family member you love and want to share experiences with can help you be a better ally.
Speaking out in support of transgender people and transgender rights is essential, as is educating others about their identities and needs. Supporting them in accessing trans and nonbinary services is also important. It is okay to ask them directly if there is any support you can help with and to let them know that it’s an open offer.
Congratulate the person for sharing and thank them for trusting you enough to share. Center the needs of the person coming out to you, use updated names, kiss, hug, and openly demonstrate affection for one another. Celebrate the differences between male and female by helping your boys and girls develop.
Having a support network in place and giving specific requests of your family to show their support can help you support a transgender friend or family member. Educate yourself and other family members on the best ways to affirm and support your transgender or gender diverse child and put these behaviors into practice.
| Article | Description | Site |
|---|---|---|
| Supporting the Transgender People in Your Life: A Guide … | Speak out in support of transgender people and transgender rights. Politely correct others if they use the wrong name or pronoun for a transgender person. More … | transequality.org |
| How Can I Support a Transgender or Nonbinary Person? | Listen to them and believe them about their identities and needs. · Use the person’s chosen name and pronouns. · Support them in accessing trans and nonbinary … | plannedparenthood.org |
| How to support a trans friend? : r/AskLGBT | Always okay to ask them directly if there’s any support you can help with, and to let them know that’s an open offer. As they talk to you about … | reddit.com |
📹 How To Be A Trans Ally Supporting Transgender Freinds Family & Collegues
Sharing tips on the ways we can support our trans friends, family, and colleagues, especially in the early days of gender transition.
What To Say When A Family Member Comes Out?
When someone comes out to you, it’s essential to be proud, supportive, and kind. Express your joy that they trust you enough to share such a personal aspect of their life. Avoid downplaying their feelings by responding casually; instead, acknowledge the significance of their revelation. Respond in a nonjudgmental manner, and if they request confidentiality, respect that absolutely. Show that you care by informing them that they remain the same person in your eyes despite their disclosure.
Educate yourself about the LGBTQ+ community to better support your friend or loved one and to ensure they feel seen and heard. It’s crucial to allow them to come out at their own pace, even if you had suspected their identity beforehand. When addressing someone’s coming out, express your gratitude for their trust and reassure them of your acceptance and love, reinforcing that they are not alone.
Respond with empathy, providing a safe, judgment-free environment for them to discuss their feelings. It’s natural to feel a mix of emotions when someone discloses their identity. Be transparent in your support, and if it's welcome, offer a hug. Acknowledge their struggle and express your commitment to standing by them, continuing to be the friend they’ve always known.
What Triggers Dysphoria?
Dysphoria is a profound sense of unhappiness, discomfort, and disconnect experienced by individuals, which can be triggered by various factors. Common triggers include seeing one's reflection, intimacy, misgendering, and being perceived according to one's assigned gender. Dysphoria often accompanies symptoms of depression and other mental health conditions, leading to feelings of apathy, fatigue, sadness, worry, and low life satisfaction.
Although dysphoria itself is not a diagnosis, it can indicate underlying mental health issues such as depression, bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety, and schizophrenia. Specific events, like losing a loved one or family tensions, may also prompt dysphoric feelings.
Gender dysphoria arises when an individual's gender identity contradicts their sex assigned at birth, resulting in significant distress. Factors contributing to gender dysphoria may involve hormonal influences during development, genetic predispositions, and cultural contexts. The psychological distress linked to this dysphoria is characterized by a sense of unease regarding one’s assigned gender or sex characteristics.
Support for individuals experiencing dysphoria is vital, and effective management can be explored through understanding its causes, symptoms, and possible treatments, as well as recognizing societal and personal influences that contribute to this condition.
How Do I Support A Trans Or Nonbinary Person?
Trans and nonbinary individuals thrive when they have support from family and friends. To assist a trans or nonbinary person, start by listening to and believing in their identities. Use their chosen name and pronouns. Awareness of the discrimination they face, including erasure and violence, is crucial. Offer meaningful support by understanding their needs, correcting misgendering, and respecting their identities. Parents and caregivers play a vital role in the well-being of transgender and nonbinary youth.
Practical support includes educating yourself on relevant issues, starting conversations about identities, and encouraging others to respect chosen names and pronouns. Introduce yourself with your pronouns to promote awareness. It's also essential to advocate for trans rights and challenge anti-trans narratives. Create a safe space by asking how you can best support them, showing openness to change, and staying informed about local and national trans rights issues.
Establish a strong support system, including friends and professionals, for those coming out as transgender or nonbinary. Finally, committing to ongoing learning and engagement will enhance your ability to support trans and nonbinary individuals in your life and foster a more inclusive environment.
How To Support Someone With Gender Dysphoria?
Supporting someone with gender dysphoria involves showing unconditional love and acceptance, enabling them to feel valued and understood. Gently using their chosen name and pronouns can significantly help, as can engaging in activities aligned with their identified gender. It's crucial to create open lines of communication, allowing them to express their needs, concerns, and feelings. Educating yourself on gender norms and the experiences of transgender individuals fosters empathy and reduces stigma.
Encourage the person to seek medical or mental health support if needed, while respecting their choices regarding treatment options, whether that involves hormone therapy, surgery, or simply exploring their gender expression. Listening actively and validating their experiences is essential, as is standing by them against any judgment or hostility from others.
Using affirming language and practicing correct pronouns reinforces their identity. Engaging with supportive friends or communities can help them manage their dysphoria. Ultimately, being non-judgmental, open-minded, and empathetic is critical, encouraging them to explore their identity while offering them the support they need to navigate their feelings and experiences.
How To Cope With A Trans Family Member?
Seek resources to support loved ones who are trans and nonbinary, while also prioritizing your own emotional well-being, especially for parents. It's essential to process your feelings about their identity. As Christians navigating a secular world, balance protection for your children with openness and love for others. Being a good ally varies in complexity, from simple actions to deeper commitments. Communicating with family about these topics requires choosing age-appropriate language for younger members, listening closely, and valuing their experiences.
For those facing transphobia in their families, there are strategies for coping and discussions about tough situations. Support can manifest in various forms; ensure to take care of yourself too by seeking therapy if you feel isolated. Listening to a loved one’s identity, using their chosen name and pronouns, and maintaining open communication are vital. For families of trans or nonbinary individuals, connecting with groups like PFLAG or support networks can foster community and advocacy.
Address the unique challenges children of transgender parents may face, providing support amidst societal biases. Respect, perseverance, and understanding are crucial in these dynamics, and it's essential to approach conversations about faith and values with care. Ultimately, remain supportive and affirm your loved ones through their journey of self-discovery and acceptance.
How To Handle A Family Member Transitioning?
To support a transgender or nonbinary loved one, it’s essential to listen to them and trust their identities and needs. Use their chosen name and pronouns, and help them access community resources if they wish. As Christians, balance protecting your children while showing Christ-like love to others. Understand that someone transitioning is on a courageous journey, and emotional support is vital during this time.
Communicate openly with family members about these changes, acknowledging that everyone in the family may need to transition personally to maintain relationships. Consider seeking expert opinions for compassionate therapeutic support for those involved.
Prioritize the transitioning person's needs by asking how you can help, and be mindful of your self-care amid unsupportive family dynamics. Encourage understanding and discussions about transitioning with children to foster a supportive environment. Stay engaged, calm, and affirming of your loved one's journey. Remember, each experience of transition is unique, requiring patience and ongoing learning. By making small gestures and being a steadfast ally, you can create a nurturing space for your loved one during this transformative time.
How Many Marriages Survive Gender Transition?
Kristie Overstreet, a sexologist and psychotherapist with 18 years of experience working with trans individuals, notes that approximately 2 in 5 relationships survive a gender transition. Although around 80% of marriages may not endure such changes, elements like communication, support, and individual growth can play a vital role in fostering resilience. Relationships that succeed highlight the adaptability of love and sexual identity within the LGBTQ+ community, two decades post the legalization of same-sex marriage.
Kelly Wise, a sex therapist from Pennsylvania, emphasizes that marriages can not only survive but also thrive through newfound honesty during a partner's transition. These couples exemplify growth and strong emotional connections in the face of challenges. Despite a common belief that gender transitions spell the end for relationships, statistics suggest that approximately half of those in romantic partnerships continue to stay together post-transition.
While anecdotal evidence indicates that around 30% of male-to-female transitions result in lasting relationships, the narrative surrounding transition and its impact on marriages must acknowledge the potential for love to endure and evolve amidst significant personal changes.
How Do You Deal With A Loved One Transitioning?
Supporting a loved one through their transition requires calmness, understanding, and a commitment to their identity. Begin by centering them in this pivotal moment; refrain from panic or questioning their choices. Learning about their identity is essential—be curious but approach delicately. Your support is crucial, materially, emotionally, and socially. Transitioning is a significant step towards self-affirmation, so celebrate their journey and recognize the joy in their authenticity.
Seek resources to better understand the experiences of trans and nonbinary individuals. It's equally important to find support for yourself, especially if you are a parent; having your space to process emotions is vital. Reflecting on your feelings can help you assess your comfort and relationship dynamics. Effective communication and personal psychological support are essential, regardless of whether the relationship evolves or changes.
Becoming an ally involves using correct pronouns, embracing your loved one’s new name, and providing a non-judgmental space for exploration. Ultimately, educating yourself, asking questions, and validating their journey will strengthen your bond and contribute positively to their transition.
📹 HOW TO HELP A TRANS FRIEND / FAMILY MEMBER ft. My Mum
It’s LGBT history month, so here are my best tips to support a trans person! Guest starring British Mum & Prinny Queen.
I sent this to my mom because she’s been having trouble accepting and believing me since I came out when I was 16. I’m 24 now and she’s so stubborn. I have been so scared to transition because I don’t know what she’ll think. UPDATE: 12/11/2021 It’s now several months later and my mom has accepted me and I have an appointment to get on HRT on the 23rd of December.
My hubby is a HS teacher and has had to pull a few students aside and ask them for their proper pronouns. Every time but once has it worked in his favor, however one student was offended by being asked and went to the principal saying that my husband “accused them of being a freak”. It was a huge mess. The teachers union backed my husband up once he explained how and why he questioned the person, but that one incident has made him uncomfortable to ask people about their pronouns now. This article was helpful for him, so thank you!
People who are trans put up with so much. I’m so glad you made this article, and thanks Christine and Moving to the moon for asking the question. This article really helps to counteract communication breakdown, help mend relationships, and helps bring people closer together. For example, when the media misrepresent what it means to be transgender. Transparent and honest articles like yours really help to stamp out ignorance when it comes to understanding people who are trans. Thank you for being an assertive voice in the trans community and for being so thorough in educating those who love and respect people who are trans, and who want the best for the people who are a part of the community. The educational guidance you express really helps to empower, nurture and equip others on how to support people in the trans community and offers a platform for trans people to be heard and seen for who they are. I first started perusal your articles because I wanted to better understand a friend of mine who is transgender and who was in the initial stages of trying to understand who they were. You helped put words to the experience of what they were going through. I also told them about your youtube website and in turn it helped them feel really supported for who they are and what they were going through. You helped open up a whole new world of validation for them as a person because they could see in you parts of who they were that they related to, and what they were going through trying to piece things together.
Have a friend who just came out as Trans. I’ve known her for years and we even dated (back when they were presenting as a boy, obviously, since they came out just recently) so to say this caught me off guard is a bit of an understatement. I spent a while unsure of what to call her because I heard both her new name and her deadname being used and she responded to both of them, but I didn’t want to make a mistake. Today though after processing it fully I let her know she has my full support and that I’m happy to use her new name for her. Now I’m just surfing the web for as much information as I can get because I’d really like to help her out.
I really love this article. I have been friends with trans people since the mid-1970s. I’m now in my 70s. How I usually handle things – especially with people I don’t know well, is to be upfront about the fact that I sometimes step over people’s boundaries because I don’t have good boundaries myself. So if a person is uncomfortable with questions that I ask or things that I say I given permission, first of all, to put their hand right up in front of my face to tell me that I’m crossing a boundary. The most fundamental thing that I do when it comes to supporting anyone is to say how can I support you. What do you need me to do and most importantly, I tell them what somebody once told me; “I will like you until you can love yourself and I do not want anything from you.”I let them know did if they need somebody to listen to them I’m there. it is so important that people know they are loved and they are valued. Please keep sharing what you’re sharing, thanks.
Hi Finn, I wanted to support my friend but I didn’t knew how to do that or what probably makes him feel better as he was the first person I met who came out to be a trans. Obviously I love my friend and wanted to do every possible think which makes him feel protected, to make him know that I do believe that he is one of us by not sounding sympathetic about it becouse that is not a problem at all, after all problem is in the head of homophobic people.But I was very confused that he’ll like my efforts or not and then I started googling about it and studying about the do’s and don’ts and got your article. Let me say a big thank you to you for creating this one. More than helping people who are trans, you have helped me to get a better view of this. This has made our bond very much better. All the love to you ❤️
Finn great article! Side note I just had the time and access to watch your Ted x talk!!!!!!! You were so composed and your message was new and presented in an implementable way😊😊😊. I loved it and am so proud of you♥️♥️♥️. Side note it is US Thanksgiving so today’s article is perfect as American families come together 😊
When you were talking about the way that stepping up and stepping in could be done, you absolutely got the most important bit. I currently had an incident where I basically had to completely drop somebody because when I spoke up for a trans person (my own peer who needed reasonable backing), a self identified “ally” called me a transphobe, simply because I went with actual psychocological and scientific reasoning about the specific situation. It’s the kind of ally I don’t want or need. I need to be and stay able to speak for myself, my peers, and especially my peers who are not given a voice. So I don’t need an SJW-“ally” who can’t even listen to the community they supposedly support. (and that was my rant)
My sister just came out to me and her partner, but I’m so worried about my dad when he knows. He really has been a great father in many ways but one of his downsides is being a conservative. I don’t know how he will take it, I am dead worried about my sister because this world can sometimes be too harsh on trans people, especially in my country. This article is useful, and still is hard to find vids on this subject (loved ones of trans people).
This helped alot i am a non biased person and respect others views and life choices, my best friend just came out as trans to me and is having trouble after coming out, ive been tell them that ill will support them through her journey throughout her life. She is going from male to female and is non binary, i wish to help her in anyway i can. Im looking to youtube for help so i can help more and understand what she is going through. Thank you.
My spouse, of 25 years, is trans mtof. We were married 20 years when she came out. I am her biggest defender and ally. People in my life at work etc think im a saint and Ive been told Im so brave for staying with her. I keep having to say “no Im not, she is the one who suppressed her true self to protect me and our kids for 20 years, until it nearly killed her” and now she has to put up with people ignoring her, misgendering her, deadnaming (her parents specifically), excluding her from things she previously loved. She is still the same person, its just that now her hormones match her brain. Shes still waiting for the body.
So, treat you like a human being of the gender that you truly are? Treat you with kindness and compassion the way people should just treat each others across the board? This was such a beautiful article, i just can’t wait for the day, however, when it isnt neccessary to instruct anyone on how to just be nice. I know it is a unique situation, but lots of situations are unique, it doesnt change the concept of just being kind to the people you encounter. I suppose im ranting now too lol. Im so glad you made a article on the love and support allies can provide the trans community, i just wish people would choose love always and this would all take care of itself and any differences that we have from each other would just be a non issue. It’s a lofty wish lol, but oh how I wish it nonetheless. I am a cis woman and suddenyl and unexpectedly i have met and fallen for a transman, and i found your articles in my search to understand him emotionally to the best degree i am able. I am so glad i found you.
I enjoyed this article, it was helpful and gives me a bit of insight. I was one of the people to ask those stupid questions, not directly, but to her friend. I basically just meant pre-op or post-op but i worded it in a rude way, i didn’t mean it to be hurtful, and it was pointed out to me that it was insensitive. I’ll know better infuture. I follow your website because im on nebido too. I liked your geocaching article aswell.
My sibling came out to me as trans recently and I’ve tried asking him what I can do to support him, how I can make him feel accepted, if he wants me to call out misgendering, etc. but he gets mad when I ask him anything about it. I’m not sure what I can do to support him if he won’t tell me how to do so. I don’t want to mess up and have him be even madder at me. I’ve tried giving him space so he can talk to me, but then he gets mad at me for not approaching him first. I’m not sure what to do. Any ideas?
My Son is working with a special needs child who is showing signs of the possibility of being trans such as asking for a different name and not wanting to put on clothes designated to their gender, their parents are trying to discourage this behaviour both my Son and I want to help this poor child it breaks my heart.