The Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) is a federal law that allows certain employees of certain employers up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave per year in various situations. In-laws, such as mother-in-law or brother-in-law, can be considered immediate family members, especially in contexts where familial obligations or rights are concerned, like in healthcare decisions or family leave policies.
In the US, immediate family members have specific rights regarding applications for permanent residency or green cards. They include parents, spouses, minor children, siblings, and adoptive parents or children. The Missouri Code of State Regulations defines an immediate family member as a parent, sibling, child by blood, adoption, or marriage, spouse, and other relatives.
In U. S. immigration law, immediate family members have specific rights regarding applications for permanent residency or green cards. A U. S. citizen can petition for their rights. Parents, spouses, and minor children are almost always considered immediate family members, while siblings may or may not count. Adoptive parents or children are also considered immediate family members.
Immediate family typically includes parents, siblings, spouses, and children, while extended family covers relatives like aunts, uncles, cousins. In special circumstances, any legal family member counts. For example, if a brother has been living with his girlfriend for over one year and they consider themselves common law, immediate family members are considered.
In summary, the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) provides employees of certain employers up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave per year in various situations. In-laws, such as mother-in-laws or brother-in-laws, can be considered immediate family members, and their rights and obligations may vary depending on the individual’s definition and circumstances.
| Article | Description | Site |
|---|---|---|
| What is considered immediate family? : r/rutgers | Immediate family is your spouse, kids, parents, and siblings. | reddit.com |
| Immediate family | It normally includes a person’s parents, siblings, spouse, and children. It can contain others connected by birth, adoption, marriage, civil partnership, or … | en.wikipedia.org |
| Immediate Family: What It Means and How It Applies | Parents, spouses, and minor children are almost always considered immediate family, while siblings may or may not count. Adoptive parents or children are also … | investopedia.com |
📹 My Brother Cut Ties with Me and Our Family After I Cheated with His Girlfriend, Got Her Pregnant,…
00:00 1st story: I cheated with my brothers girlfriend and married her 10 years ago. How can we reconcile?
How Do You Classify Immediate Family?
Immediate family refers to a defined group of close relatives chiefly influencing legal and personal contexts. Typically, it includes parents, siblings, spouse, and children, although the definition can vary. Legally, "immediate family" encompasses parents and their spouse if remarried, along with siblings and direct descendants. U. S. immigration law specifically identifies immediate relatives as spouses, parents, and unmarried children under 21 of citizens, granting them certain privileges.
The classification may also extend to those related by blood or legal ties, such as adopted children and in-laws. For various legal purposes, such as the Family and Medical Leave Act, immediate family is defined similarly, focusing on direct relatives like spouses, parents, and unmarried children. Cultural interpretations can also shape the concept of immediate family, allowing for different relationships to be recognized based on local customs.
Distinctions exist between immediate and non-immediate family members in many contexts, impacting everything from inheritance rights to workplace policies, defining essential support networks in various situations.
Is Your Girlfriend Considered A Relative?
Legally, a girlfriend is not considered a family member by blood or marriage. However, socially, families often embrace serious partners as family members. While not a legal relative, a girlfriend can qualify as a dependent for tax purposes if she meets IRS criteria as a "qualifying relative." This is applicable when preparing tax returns, especially on platforms like eFile. com. To claim someone as a dependent, they must pass four specific tests outlined by the IRS. Primarily, they cannot be a qualifying child, and they must rely on you for financial support.
In summary, while a girlfriend isn’t legally a relative, she can be claimed as a dependent if she fits the IRS definition and meets financial support requirements. The IRS allows for the possibility of including domestic partners as dependents under certain conditions, broadening the scope of who can qualify. Notably, even if a significant other's children do not meet the requirements, you can still claim them if they are considered qualifying relatives. Overall, tax regulations can permit claimed relationships, expanding the definition of family to include those who may not have a legal familial tie but have a significant personal connection.
Does A Girlfriend Count As An Immediate Family?
In the U. S., immediate family members include parents, spouses, and children, which also encompasses step-parents and step-children living with the main applicant, and sometimes domestic partners under specific conditions. Emergency leave defines immediate family as including parents, siblings, and spouses, excluding aunts. Immigration law's definition includes spouses, unmarried children under 21, and parents of U. S. citizens. The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) aligns with this, broadly covering spouses, parents, and dependent children.
Adoptive relations are also recognized within immediate family. Variations exist regionally; some jurisdictions include same-sex partners or civil union partners as immediate family. The legal construal typically limits immediate family to blood or legally recognized relationships, but social acceptance can vary, allowing non-blood relations into familial consideration. Despite emotional bonds, romantic partners (like boyfriends or girlfriends) do not qualify unless legally recognized.
By official standards, immediate family consists of parents, siblings, spouses, and children, while contexts may expand this definition to include grandparents and grandchildren. Furthermore, specific regulations may demand cohabitation and age criteria for declaring someone as an immediate family member when relating to policies such as credit cards or employment benefits.
What Do You Call Your Sister'S Daughter?
A niece is defined as the daughter of one's sibling, whether that sibling is a brother or a sister. If you have a sister, her daughter is your niece, and if you have a brother, his daughter is also referred to as your niece. In terms of familial titles, if you are female, you are considered the niece’s aunt, while if you are male, you are her uncle. Conversely, your sister’s son is your nephew. Familial terms extend to include various relationships such as parents, grandparents, cousins, and so forth. Understanding these terms also helps with tracing lineage and connecting with ancestors across generations.
For example, your sister’s husband is your brother-in-law, and if you have children, a girl is called your daughter and a boy is your son, collectively referred to as children. The roles of stepfather and stepmother apply when one parent remarries. Terms like "niece" and "nephew" encompass the children of your siblings. Additionally, it’s important to distinguish between biological and in-law relationships, like your aunt or uncle. In brief, the term for your sister’s daughter is straightforwardly your niece, signifying a close familial relationship.
What Is An Immediate Family Member In Missouri?
The Missouri Code of State Regulations, 19 CSR 15-7. 021 (18)(H), defines "immediate family" broadly. It includes parents, siblings, children (by blood, adoption, or marriage), spouses, grandparents, and grandchildren. Immediate family members are essential for various legal and social contexts. The definition encompasses not only biological relationships but also those established through marriage and adoption, ensuring that step-parents, in-laws, and legally recognized guardians are included.
In legal situations such as family-based immigration and bereavement leave, the definition maintains consistency by typically listing spouses, unmarried children under 21, and parents of U. S. citizens. Additionally, the criteria can extend to a broader set of relatives depending on specific laws or policies.
Immediate family is often deemed to be those individuals comprising a person's closest familial relationships—generally, parents, siblings, spouse, and children. However, variations may exist, and the context can influence who is considered immediate family. This understanding is crucial for situations such as the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), where eligibility and rights are determined by these definitions. Overall, recognizing the diverse relationships categorized under immediate family is vital across various regulations and legal frameworks.
Who Qualifies For Immediate Relative?
Immediate relatives of U. S. citizens, according to immigration law, include the spouse, unmarried children under 21, and parents if the U. S. citizen is over 21. These relatives can apply for lawful permanent residency (Green Card) based on their familial relationship, provided they meet certain eligibility criteria. The law simplifies the process for immediate relatives, allowing them to bypass long waiting times faced by preference relatives due to strict annual caps on visas.
To qualify, a petitioner must demonstrate their relationship to the beneficiary, supplying necessary documentation such as a marriage certificate or proof of the parent-child relationship. Step-parents and stepchildren qualify as immediate relatives if the marriage occurred before the child's 18th birthday. This designation includes both biological and adopted children.
Immediate relatives are prioritized when it comes to green card applications, making it advantageous for them to file Form I-485 to adjust their status in the U. S. Importantly, the U. S. citizen must sponsor their immediate relatives in this process. In essence, immediate relatives of U. S. citizens enjoy expedited immigration pathways, underscoring the importance of family connections in U. S. immigration policy.
Who Is Included In The Immediate Family?
The term "immediate family" typically refers to a standard group of family members, including parents, siblings, spouses, and children. However, definitions can vary due to legal, cultural, and individual family dynamics, which sometimes expand the definition to encompass grandparents, grandchildren, stepparents, adoptive relatives, and in-laws. The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) outlines immediate family mainly as spouses, parents, and dependent children, while employers may enhance this definition in their policies.
Additionally, immediate family is sometimes referred to as first-degree relatives, which includes those connected by blood, adoption, or marriage. Legal interpretations can directly influence areas like leave rights and inheritance. While the core members are typically parents, spouse, and children, the inclusion of others such as grandparents can depend on personal circumstances—making the term somewhat flexible. Ultimately, knowing who qualifies as immediate family varies from person to person and often adapts based on emotional and cultural considerations.
Are Friends Considered Immediate Family?
Legal definitions of "immediate family" influence various rights, including inheritance, family leave, and healthcare decision-making. Generally, immediate family consists of a person's parents, siblings, spouses, and children. Friends and non-relatives typically do not qualify legally as immediate family, but some employers may broaden this definition in their bereavement policies.
The term varies by context: for law, immediate family usually means parents, children, and siblings, while in immigration law, it refers specifically to a spouse, unmarried minor children, and parents. Adoption establishes similar familial ties, allowing adoptive parents and children to be classified as immediate family.
While cousins, grandparents, or other relatives may not fall under the legal definition of immediate family, personal interpretations can differ. Close friends may be treated as immediate family in informal settings.
Given that regulations can differ nationally and culturally, the definition may also change based on specific laws or organizational policies. Thus, in many cases, immediate family is often limited to first-degree relatives but can include a broader range of connections, depending on individual perspectives.
Is Girlfriend Considered Significant Other?
The term "significant other" is a gender-neutral way to refer to a person's intimate partner without implying specifics about marital status, gender identity, or sexual orientation. While "girlfriend" is one type of significant other, "significant other" encompasses a broader range of relationships, including partners in heterosexual and same-sex contexts. Many now prefer to use "partner" to denote serious, committed relationships, distinguishing it from casual dating.
A significant other is someone pivotal to one's well-being, often implying exclusivity, commitment, and shared goals, setting it apart from mere dating. The term is seen as more formal or serious compared to "girlfriend," which some find limiting or demeaning. Critics of "significant other" argue that it suggests exclusivity—implying there can only be one significant person in someone's life—and that it can sound cumbersome. Alternatives like "companion" are less common.
The use of "partner" is increasing in popularity as it conveys a sense of equality and seriousness in relationships, aligning with changing social norms. Ultimately, while "girlfriend" and "significant other" can overlap, the former may not fully encapsulate the depth and commitment suggested by the latter, especially in contemporary discussions around relationships.
Are Aunts And Uncles Considered Immediate Family Members?
Immediate family typically includes a person's parents, siblings, spouse, and children, while aunts and uncles are generally not classified as immediate family members. However, definitions can vary depending on the employer's policy. Immediate family can also extend to those by birth, adoption, or marriage, such as grandparents, half-siblings, and step-children. In most contexts, extended family encompasses relatives like aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents, distinguishing them from immediate family.
For bereavement leave, employers often grant leave for immediate family members, which usually covers spouses, children, parents, and siblings. Some may also include aunts, uncles, and cousins, but employees should verify specifics with HR. The term "immediate family" is more restrictive and does not generally cover broader relations, while extended family indicates a wider network of relatives. Laws regarding family definitions may differ, as do responsibilities and rights towards various family members, including in-laws.
Accordingly, it is essential to clarify family definitions, especially concerning legal rights, responsibilities, and company policies concerning leave entitlements. Immediate family primarily consists of those with the closest blood or legal ties, while extended family includes additional relatives who are connected but not immediate.
What Qualifies As An Immediate Family?
Immediate family typically includes parents, spouses, and minor children, with siblings sometimes being included. Adoptive relationships also count, despite the lack of blood ties. Legal ambiguities may arise with half-siblings, stepsiblings, and other relatives. The dictionary defines immediate family narrowly as a person's parents, siblings, spouse, and children, which plays a role in bereavement leave policies offered by employers. Though immediate family has a consistent core definition, interpretations can vary based on legal, cultural, and personal contexts.
It also impacts issues like inheritance and immigration. Under U. S. law, immediate relatives include a person's spouse, children, parents, and siblings, while permanent residents recognize spouses and unmarried children. The term "immediate family" may sometimes extend to include grandparents, in-laws, and adopted individuals. Variations in definitions exist depending on policies, but the essence remains that immediate family primarily denotes close connections through blood or legal ties.
First-degree relatives can include those by marriage, adoption, or civil partnership. Thus, while immediate family generally comprises parents, siblings, spouses, and children, it can occasionally encompass a wider range of relationships defined by personal or legal contexts.
📹 How the Narcissist Isolates Their Partner From Family
In this video, I explain how malignant covert narcissists isolate their partner from family. I discuss the challenges of seeing your …
Glad Ezra had one brother worth the oxygen he’s breathing. OP, you have the gf, your kids, and the rest of the family- leave your brothers alone, they’re better off away from the traitorous lot of you. And big shock that stepmom sides with and encourages the cheaters, now she finally has something in common with her stepkids!
story 1…………… 1. OP this is all YOUR fault. stop blaming others and take responsibility for YOUR actions. 2. your mother is a failure as a parent. she chose you because of the grandkids and a decade later she now blames you because she has regrets. i see where you learned to dodge accountability for your actions. 3. you were his brother and he was supposed to be able to trust you. you betrayed him in the worst way possible and you are somehow stupid enough to believe you can fix this. you cant fix this. you lost 2 brothers because of your selfishness now move on and deal with the fall out of your actions
2nd story: There is no excuse to cheat, but it is a reason to leave your married. But the father ended up cheating instead of leaving so yeah he still is the one that’s at fault for this now of course the mother a drug addict that’s hard, you don’t want to deal with people like that but you leave you don’t cheat.
Story #1: Once you do something like what OP did, it never goes away, no matter how much people try to sweep it under the rug and act like everyone has “moved on.” People tend to think bringing new children into the family is such a happy miracle that the parents should be absolved of any and all deviant behavior, but the rose tinted glasses are coming off. OP doesn’t deserve anything except to be treated with less attention and less respect because he behaves with less integrity.
S1: “Aaron has always had it out for me.” maybe because your entire life, you were a piece of shit and you were sleeping with your brother’s gf. I bet OP was a bully growing up and Aaron didn’t take his crap and fought back and that’s why he thinks he had it out for him. if there was any justice in this world, Ezra would have sent OP to the hospital for his crap
Story1: be happy you are still alive Story2: why should he apologise?! An affair is an affair. She and the father deserves NOTHING! I helped rehab people. If someone wants to come off, they can with help. If they dont, nothing can help them. Its not an excuse for the sprm donor to go fooling around, then they make demands. Also everyone trying to play happy fammily?! Disgusting.
if you read all the replies that this OP made in the actual post it reads as him just straight up being pissed that people are blaming him and him saying he shouldnt be sorry for anything and he just wants people to let it all go and stop acknowledging that his family is to blame. like he legit knows he did terrible things but does not want to be blamed and to a greater extent not bother his happiness. “fixing things” is him just not wanting any more trouble.
Op1 deflects and accepts no responsibility for breaking up his family. She could’ve broken up with his brother before y’all got together if you wanted to pursue a relationship and it wouldn’t have been as bad. You broke your brothers heart, destroyed their trust, betrayed your brother, and was selfish. Your kids have nothing to do with you and your wives terrible actions. Take accountability, accept the reality you created for yourself, leave those brothers alone who want nothing to do with you, enjoy your gross wife,life, and hope the kids are cool👌🏾
There is a right way and a wrong way to exit a relationship. Cheating is never the answer if you want to leave without blame, disgrace, being considered morally bankrupt, a liar, etc etc. One way you leave with your head held high, blameless. The other you leave looking like the very very very bad guy that no one should ever trust again, because you’ve proven yourself to be untrustworthy to the core. And proven to be a liar. One does so much less damage than the other way. The other one devastates your loved ones. Choose wisely.
Story 2.. “for better or worse, in sickness and in health” His wife had a sickness and was at her worst. Obviously, she was able to get clean for her kids… He used that as an excuse to cheat. If it was bad enough, he could have left and taken the kids. She wasn’t a lost cause… but he chose to stay and have an affair… instead of really putting effort into saving her and his family. Dad and Lily are still scum 🤷♀️ There’s no excuse for cheating
The second story makes me so fucking angry. His mother was struggling and instead of helping, his father fucking cheats on her and takes her kids away. And his side chick has the audacity to think she has any authority over the op and his siblings. The comment was out of line yes, but fuck her feelings. From what is described op mother could have ended up dead herself, so I have zero sympathy for the her. Also she must have known op father was married because who the fuck marries a cheater. I definitely do not agree with the op’s decision to apologise let alone try to better their relationship. And before anyone trys to defend her with this, I wasn’t far from death in the past myself but there is no excuse for cheating.
S1: Maybe unpopular but unless OP is working on his lack of empathy, he shouldn’t be in therapy. OP’s actions are getting blown up in his face and he just needs to deal with it and lie in the mess he caused. He can’t fix anything at this point and him trying to will just make it worse. Anyway, I’m glad Aaron and Erza are living well 🙂
Story 1 OP is beyond pathetic. He didn’t just make mistakes, he’s a genuinely bad person at his core. Mel too. And they do not have a loving relationship, they’re both narcissistic and incapable of such. OP wanted Mel because his brother had her, and Mel is probably just loose, and she only went to OP when everyone else rejected her. OP only seems upset when he found out Ezra has a wife, because now he can’t look at Mel as the happiness he deprived his brother of, and has become unhappy himself. He would probably try to cheat with the new wife if he had the chance. Mel feeling no remorse shows exactly how lacking in morals she is.
#1: LEAVE YOUR BROTHER ALONE. “Do you feel sorry for the pain you caused your brother?” “Well, I mean, you know … I have my kids because of it.” “Not what was asked. Do you feel sorry for hurting your brother?” “Why are you holding me accountable? It’s been 10 years already. I’ve made zero effort to reach out. Can’t we go back to the way it was? Quit rebelling.”
Funny how mom put it all on OP like she, TOO, didn’t ad fuel to the fire of disbanding their “family” by actively choosing the sibling who did wrong and made leaps to ENABLE not PUNISH for what they did to their other son and only mad cuz she only has access to one grandchild to brag about and not all of them🙄 OP still proved to be more selfish since he at NO POINT admitted to being apologetic, just eluded to him being guilty, but regrets nothing. Least mom later tried to fix what she did and didn’t force meeting her estranged sons, just the wives that allowed her visits. OP isn’t even trying, just whining for sympathy he has NO entitlement to. Story 2: So the dad could pay for her therapy post divorce, but not have put her in rehab, and maybe divorced her THEN instead of cheating? On top of trying to force a “happy family” with the AP with one of the kids who outed his affair to begin with and surprised it inevitably blew up in his face, especially since neither parent told them what was going on behind the scenes (besides the affair) that the kids didnt know was causing a strain??
Story 1 : OP is full of sht…….and the people who are telling him “you don’t have to forever get defined by your past behavior…are also full of BS….Cheating is a choice he made – Once a cheater always a cheater” although i give props for OP and his wife to stick together all this time (BUT The statement will always be TRUE for the one who got cheated on in a relationship ) and OP STILL keeps whining when the mother regrest her role in siding and tries to mends with her other son YEARS later. I hope he have nightmares and regrets cheating for the rest of his seems like going on a path to be miserable life.
Story 2. Even when you vow to be by their side in sickness and in health, sometines, you break that vow because your partner is sinking, and you can’t sink with them or allow them to sink your loved ones. However, all the nice intentions and redemption goes out the window when you cheat. All your good intentions are tarnished forever. Homewrecker, cheater, traitor and other words, are not insults… They are accurate descriptions.
Story 1 I heard this and there were updates where they’ve come to uneasy truce. But to me I’m sorry the whole family needs to look at their actions as why is it family sides with the offenders not the victim, plus the generational affairs: grandad cheated, dad cheated, so I cheated. Also of course stepmother who was a cheat with dad wouldn’t mind you marrying for ‘love’ BS as makes her feel better for tearing family apart.
Story 1) he even add his older brother (Aaron) also had it out for me? Like what do you mean like he was the other brother who didn’t let you get away with sh!t . Dang no wonder your mom and dad are having such emotional issues right now. They finally figured out how much they let you get away with sh!t. 2:09 for any one to understand.
First story – OP’s situation can’t be fixed. He was the trusted brother who seduced his younger brother’s teenage girlfriend with his own place, career and grown man money. He fast tracked her into the relationship stage that she and Ez were going to college to achieve. He blames everyone but himself. The stepmom said that they should be together, the dad kept inviting Mel over, she was always around because she was the same age as the stepsister, Ez was away at college and Mel stopped denying it when the stepmom kept saying that they should be together. He bears no responsibility for his actions as an older more experienced young man. The mom is upset because she lost two sons when OP hit her with the grandbaby card. It must be in the cheater’s playbook because there’s always a sudden pregnancy that shifts the parents to the cheater’s side. Aaron and Ez hit her with the we have babies, wives and lives card, then she realized what she had done. Aaron is definitely an all star brother. Give up on reconciliation. The brothers know OP’s true character (especially Aaron) and don’t want him around their wives and children. He has nothing that will enhance their lives and they don’t need his drama, toxicity and chaos.
1st and 3rd stories: no sympathy. 2 buttheads who think whatever has happened to them is not just retribution because of their actions. 2nd story deciding to cheat is not a reflection on your drug using partner. And if you don’t want your child to say something heinous then make sure you are honest with them. They can’t edit their reactions unless they know the facts of everyone’s deceit.
Story 1: The OP should regret his life choices. He should regret the fact he made the choice that hurt his brother and tore the family apart. This is different than regretting his children. It is possible to not regret his children, while regretting the circumstances that lead up to it Story 2: That comment about telling the step-mum to essentially kill herself was very far over the line. Could have made a comment about how living with mum would have been the more preferable option, which would have hurt her but not gone so far over that sacred line like telling her to cut herself and succeed in suicide
Story 1: OP, you are in every way possible the AH. Move on and leave your brother alone. He deserves peace after everything YOU put HIM through. As for your kids, DO NOT keep this a secret from them. You already mentioned how gossipy your family is so it is only a matter of time before they hear the full truth, whether or no your the one to tell them.
There is no coming back from this. It will be a burden to you for the rest of your life. For the sake of your kids accept that, and move on. When they are old enough, explain to your offspring what happened and do not sugarcoat it. Tell them that you wish you still had their uncles in everyone lives, it is not possible. To regret what you did, would be regret having your children, and you are not. Tell them to learn from how you handled things and not do the same.
Story 1, you are in the wrong period. I don’t hear any accountability at all in your words. You keep using your children as an excuse. Grow up and accept responsibility for your actions. You should leave your brothers alone. It was ok when your mom hose you over your brothers but now that she wants a relationship with it’s not ok with you. How selfish can you be.
Story 1: Not only was he wrong, but his parents were dead wrong. This wasn’t just “a” girlfriend, this was a long term girlfriend who was essentially a fiancée, in intent at least -not sure if it was official. The “new wife” should have been shut down by both the dad and the brother the second she started playing with the idea of who “looked better” as a couple, whatever that is supposed to mean. If I were Ezra, I would have gone so intensely no-contact with rhe family that they wouldn’t even know anything about my current status, much less have the opportunity to try to get him to “move on” or whatever. This isn’t about a girlfriend. Obviously, a girlfriend who cheats with someone’s own brother the second he is out of sight is not worth it anyway (and hopefully she pulls the same nonsense on the brother, if he doesn’t beat her to it). This is about family trust and loyalty. The brother completely trampled all over Ezra’s feelings, and didn’t have his back when Ezra needed him most. He showed outright disrespect. Meanwhile, the parents were so excited about the “shiny new” grandbaby that they didn’t even consider what type of pain the brother and Melanie’s actions would cause Ezra, and they decided to stand by the couple at fault instead of their totally innocent child. They are the people who are supposed to be there for Ezra and fight for him, and they betrayed him. The brother keeps trying to act like this was confusion, or an accident that just “happened”, or some secret but undeniable romance.
broken family creates a cycle of broken family until the kids put it upon themselves to stop it. from the looks of it – cheating is a thing in OP1 bloodline. Glad to know he’s keeping the family tradition. I won’t be surprised if the kid from the affair grow up to be a cheater as well. Nothing better than than idolizing great grandpa, grandpa and dad – LOL. Ezra and Aaron leaving is for the best. Being being surrounded by such people is not good. They are not good example of a good family unit. I always find it disgusting how people do this. The ones suffering are the children and their mental health – cause their family dynamic is F8cked up from the get go.
This dude still have not come to term that the decisions that he made were not mistakes they were a series of decisions that made your life to what it is now. Technically this dude fked over his brothers for p***y. He screwed his relationship up with his brothers over the fact that he was fkin one of his brothers girlfriends. So you people need to stop using the word “mistakes” when is not a mistake. A mistake is spilling your wine on your pants. A mistake is locking your keys in your car. A mistake is leaving your ID home when you run out to the store. But having an affair with someone it’s not a mistake and until you people learn the different meanings, you will never understand how much it hurts someone. One of those the apple don’t fall too far from the tree cases. And of course the side piece / new wife would agree with something like this because she was also a cheating partner as well she was the one that also ruined a marriage so why would she think anything less.
Op1 has to be a salesman, he’s a verbal gymnast, but the underlying tone was he wants to be forgiven because he didn’t want his dad to resent him as his mom started to, he said “I thought we were a happy family with just me and my remaining brothers”. He didn’t give the impression that he cared all that much for Ezra, especially after the break up: How he talked about Aaron was even more hollow and sounded like he could do another 10 years without seeing him. Anyways, I hope his dad starts to resent him, and I hope neither get to see Ezra and Aaron ever again. He even suggested that his sons were a good substitute for his brothers, however I do hope the guilt gets to your dad. I usually offer well wishes on here, but op came off so slimey.
Story 2: OP’s mother is WRONG. Plain and simple. OP choosing to apologise to Lily was the mature thing to do, as his comment was out of line, but Lily and OP’s Dad were the cause, not OP’s Mom’s drug addition. ‘In sickness and in health,’ OP’s Dad failed as a husband for not helping his wife through her addiction, failed her by sticking his dick in another woman when the marriage got tough and then completed his failure by only supporting her with therapy after he made sure he’d taken her children and stability from her. She made a mistake, but the affair wasn’t a justifiable response.
2nd story: You know I heard everything, and, I gotta say, the only thing OP did wrong was tell the AP to commit wrist bath. Everything else, fully fucking justified. OP’s dad had a couple of ways to handle the situation and come out mostly clean, and none of them involved cheating on his spouse. No, I don’t think his stress from seeing his wife become a druggie makes his cheating less bad… in fact one could argue it makes it worse. Sure, OP’s mom wasn’t a saint in this case, but you know something, if it bothered him so much he could have actually removed himself from the situation legally first, or worked harder to get her help. Both situations probably made less volatile by maybe keying their children in a bit more. “Mom is sick and needs help/Mom has problem and that makes it not safe here for you.”
Story 1: As the oldest of my brothers, I’m disgusted with what OP did. I like to teach him a lesson on how you don’t fuck your brother’s gf. Him, Melanie, Step mom, and nearly everyone in the family are despicable. I would never be like OP’s parents and just be ok/allow the relationship to continue. I would have disown him and kicked him out of the house along with Melanie and the step mom. He deserves shit. Aaron is the only real brother that Erza has. The mom should thought more about her actions as she still could have her 2 sons. And the Dad too as he doesn’t get to see his sons and their families. Story 2: OP has every right to be mad at his Dad and his Step Mom for what they did. The Dad could have divorced the mom instead of cheating. There’s no excuse for that. The mom still did fuck up badly. I don’t understand why she would do drugs to deal with her anxiety. It’s like adding gunpowder to a landmine, it only makes things worse. The Dad should have nipped that in the butt when he found out. If he did, he would still be married to her. I just hope that OP learns from both of his parents’ mistakes as they did fucked up big time. I would never have contact with my parents after learning all of that. And for the love of God people, STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM DRUGS!!! I lost my own brother to a od, believe me they don’t help you at all, only make you more miserable.
1st story – The dad’s wife has no problem with Mel and OP being together.. A homewrecker obviously will not see anything wrong in another homewrecker. She successfully broke your family by cheating with your father… Now she broke up the sons from the first wife from the sidelines by egging your illicit relationship.
9:33 A mistake? You said you didnt regret it. You don’t. Ok fine you wanna 10:05 it. “I made a decision and i dont like the consequences. ” is more accurate. I want my cake and to eat it too. You wanted Mel. You hated Ez. You got what you wanted. Youll raise those kids well and your wife if youre to be believed. So focus on that
Story 1) The worst part of forgiveness is being the last to do so when you want closure. OP needs to forgive himself, but he thinks he needs his brothers to do so. If OP wants penance, he can find it in his children. He can also do it by encouraging his own parents to focus on the fractured relationship.
For S1, last message OP sent was 4 years ago (the post itself was 5 years ago) that his only reason to keep going is his therapy sessons and his kids. And that he wants to sleep forever (self delete) his post is also one of the most hated ones tbh. Already from the comments shown in the vid, you can see most comments don’t appreciate him. But in the post I have seen like 1 or 2 comments telling him “what to do” and not straight up saying that he’s an AH, that he doesnt regret anything & he’s entilted, which I agree with.
Classic cheaters. Honestly the first story always reminds me of stories where siblings tend to chest on their sibling’s partners. Don’t know how to word it correctly but it’s pretty disgusting. Op in the first story is delusional, you can’t fix anything after cheating on your brother’s ex but Melanie sounds like she was leading Op on as well. Just by listening to the story carefully. He doesn’t regret cheating, he only regrets on being caught. Grandfather cheated, Op’s Dad cheated and now Op cheated. What the hell? Op saying it’s a ‘mistake’. It’s not a mistake at all! Second story: What Op said to their father’s AP is practically an AH move. However instead of cheating, the father should leave Op’s mum before it escalated.
Story 1..BOO HOO.. no one wants to take my side because I was a scumbag that screwed with my brother’s gf and knocked her up, and now everyone hates me. My brother’s left the family, so they didn’t have to see me parading around with my brother’s skank that cheated on him with me. ME, ME, ME..I,I,I. you and that piece of trash gf blew up the family dynamics, not your brother. Glad they went NC with all of you. It’s everyone fault, except mine.. wrong!!!
For the first story, after learning the pattern of cheating in the family, plus being cheated on by a family member, I would want to leave and start fresh elsewhere too. I can see why they allowed contact with the mom since she was cheated on by the dad, even though she sided with the brother in the beginning she then placed her foot down with standards. I’m so mad at the stepmom though, those comments are not ok to make! I wonder if she is the one the dad cheated on the mom with?
You should just leave them alone. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. Suck it up and accept that you screwed up any chances with them. Geeze what you did isn’t forgiveable. How can either of your brothers comfortably bring their wives around without worrying that you’ll sleep with them… Sometimes there’s a point of no-return. And your stepmom has low to no morale. Why did your father marry someone such as her 🤦
I could go on for a long time about story 1 but it’ll just be too long so I’ll just say I seriously doubt any reconciliation can ever be made, the best thing for him to do is stay out of his brother’s life and let him live. I’m sure he’s the last person his brother wants to see or hear from as it properly will bring a lot of bad memories back. He should just look on from a distance and just be happy for him. He should also stick his chin out and take everything everyone is saying because after 10 years people are finally understanding what he did. He deserves everything that’s said about him and his 304 of a wife and he should stop trying to use his kids as shields. I just hope his kids grow up to be absolutely nothing like their parents.
2nd story – excuse me, but wtf?Mom’s drug problem does not excuse dad‘s cheating. If he thought that her drug problem was that much of an issue then he should’ve separated and taken the kids. The solution is not to have an affair which takes him out of the house away from the kids for longer periods of time when the supervising parent is doing drugs and may have an episode while they’re there. Why the hell would anybody think this is forgivable?!?!
So we can apologize to ppl, but it is up to the person to forgive you and accept you back in their life. You broke the bro code, literally. Married the girl had kids with her and carried on like nothing happened, now that your fairy tale isn’t as bright as it should be, u r left wondering why no one wants to communicate or trust you, well u broke that trust. Do u think your brothers will trust you with their wives and kids. Certain decisions we make as kids or young adults have everlasting consequences. Just imagine your brother seeing his ex who cheated on him with her new partner, who BTW happens to be his brother. A brother who is suppose to be loyal to the family. U have the girl, u have the marriage, u have the kids. Now you crave closeness with ur siblings??? Don’t be selfish, run off into the sunset, and make the best out of your decisions. Leave your family alone and start taking care of your new family. Maybe with more time they’ll forgive or maybe they won’t ever
That first story is fucking yikes bro, seems like he struggles to see/deal with emotions and other stuff from other people’s POV. almost sounds kind of…borderline emotionless, like he didn’t think “oh, who know sleeping with my brothers girlfriend, marrying and having kids with her was a bad move and would break up the family… “shrugs shoulders.” If that was my brother… let’s say we would never be on speaking terms again to say the VERY LEAST.
Story1: OP is by far the lamest, cruel, unworthy and ungrateful scum because he wants things to go his way, and if things don’t go his way, he forcefully demand someone to bend a knee. He try to take the narrative like he wasn’t at fault but demand his brothers to reconcile and make himself like victim. OP didn’t care about anything until now because his brother is doing better than OP and the brother overcome his sorrows and making a difference. OP is just messed up and probably jealous that his brother was more capable than OP. Somehow OP and wife are just screwed ups with nothing to do. As for OP’S kids there’s a chance they will destroy each other’s relationships like you, your father and grandfather. His definition of mistake is being over use that makes us feel less passionate for him.
Was using her suicide in an argument a low blow? Yes. But suggesting OP be shipped off to her mother so she won’t have to deal with her anymore was a bit below the belt too and if you, a full grown adult parental figure need the teenager your partially or fully responsible for to be the bigger person you have absolutely no business acting as a parental figure! That being established the mother getting involved with drugs would inevitably lead to major marital strife which could justify the husband finally divorcing and entering a new relationship, but NOT entering a new relationship and then divorcing! Nothing justifies cheating!
Everyone is gonna downvote me but 2nd Story: Soft YTA. Understandingly cheating is horrible, dad is an ars, the dads GF should have known that the kids were not going to like her and accepted that! However OP did say something he shouldn’t have said and that was too much Edit: 3:18. Ok just listened to the update and I still say, OP, soft AH. However, the dad should have explained it still after he got full custody of the kids still. Glad your getting the therapy that you needed
My morally ambiguous ass is swaying back and forth between “you cheat despite knowing that your brother is already in a relationship doesn’t excuse” And “Wait, his explanation makes a lot more sense !” But the YT comment section eases my mind and I want to stick to the first thought. I guess I would chalk it upto English being my second language but I thought writing in passive voice gives the objective picture unless OP missed out on huge details… Well we can definitely perceive by evaluating the story with our values and choose to side or oppose but the thing that writing paragraphs in particular way can be generalised to the point that one paragraph makes it enough to figure out an entire person ? Idk, sounds scary, I’d chicken out and start gaslighting myself to think that my personality is indeed worth the paragraph, and that too when written while unstable. The only thing I would like to advocate is either to give advice and simultaneously hold him accountable or not responding at all. It’s already clear that he can’t escape what he brought upon himself and people rightfully constrict from giving him any sympathy but damn, some comments can be real cruel. Edit : Nvm, I shouldn’t play games while listening to the stories, I could only focus on the grammatical structure explanation. I still stand by my words, OP clearly slipped and gave it away that he’s rather there for people to validate him and not real advice and as the comments mentioned, he blatantly used the word “cheated” for his father and grandfather but it’s not cheating when he does that ?
Story 1, the person who said “you eef-ed up, but you shouldn’t be defined forever by your eff up” wasn’t exactly right there. Sure, you shouldn’t be, but some things you can’t get away from. Some mistakes effect your whole life, and will define your entire future. You can’t outrun them, and you can’t gloss over them. What he did is one of those. His “eff up” shattered his family. He has to live with that. It will never go away. He will be seen as “the guy who broke the family” by everyone else and theres no avoiding it. And ge shouldn’t expect to. It’s not up to him to fix what has been done. He can’t make ammends with people who don’t want to. Time doesn’t magically make betrayal disappear. He can be as sad as he wants, but Aaron and Ezra don’t consider him family anymore, and he has to live with “cheater” metaphorically branded on his forehead for the rest of his life. He needs to be the one to suck it up, move on and live his life with the choice he made and the consequences of it.
Scumbags gonna scumbag. Didn’t talk about the issue before it could have been handled like adults before cheating, but nope, purposely cheated and wondered why there was fallout. If everyone doesn’t like you, maybe the problem isn’t everybody else. You can’t hate someone so much to do this kind of damage and expect anything other than losing them as family forever. That’s even before you get to the pure entitlement and lack of empathy that’s at the bottom of this broken human being.
So, it’s ok for you to sleep with your brothers gf at the time, but not ok for your brother to resent you for it? How low can you get? Your brother has every right to hate you and want you out of his life for this! Quit playing the victim cause guess what, all ugly truths come to light as your children will learn the truth about you and her and it’s up to them to decide how they take it, and how do you expect your children to be loyal to their spouses when their parents can’t even be?
Story 1 man, it needs some old cojones to play the victim card when you’re CLEARLY the one at fault. Listening to his story makes my blood boil. I don’t know if that man is religious or not but I hope that if he is, if he believes in a God above or some sort of divine justice, I hope then a special place in Hell is waiting for him and his wife.
Story 2: I think it’s a shitty excuse to chest on your partner because of them having a drug addiction. Instead of getting help for her, you go help yourself to another woman…I guess eff ” in sickness and in health”. They say that men are the main ones who will leave their partner when they have cancer, or other illnesses that require assistance. This was a prime example
Sorry buddy, some things just can’t be fixed! Sure you didn’t realize what was happening! Your stepmom was an AH to put ideas in your head you were an AH to have sex with your brother’s woman!So you got the girl and your family forgave you but your brother didn’t! Poor baby! You are a cheater and you needed your parents? Your parents should have shut you down Aaron and Ezra! Yeah, your parents chose the cheaters over the wounded parties! Karma is always a good thing! You made this so you are going to have to suck it up buttercup! Some just can’t be fixed! Accept your mistakes and live with it! Cheating is in a mistake. It’s a calculated error in morals.
1st story op is an absolute idiot and fool you cheated with brothers girlfriend and destroyed your family but never take the responsibility and hope it just goes away i bet anything if you and the cheating girlfriend instead first ended things and later explained thing before you decided to cheat and betray your brother non of this drama would have unfolded in this way but now being sneaky and hurtful you threw everything to thw wind and betrayed the family and now yoyr upset no one wants to be a part of your new families life.
you’re not sorry for your actions not by a long shot. You’re sorry for the consequences. If you’re fishing for sympathy, go to another river. You won’t find any here, just brutally honest comments you self entitled narcissistic jerk. you do realise your relationship is essentially doomed in the long run. Your whole relationship and family dynamics are based on betrayal. If she was more then willing to betray her boyfriend with his brother and You we’re more then willing to betray your own brother with his girlfriend how can trust even exist between you both?. Buy your own admission your wife/former ment to be sister in law is already looking for excuses food for thought prick. If it was my brother who betrayed me the way you betrayed yours I can honestly tell you there is no forgiveness I would not push it you have hurt him more than you can possibly know here’s a hit the biggest hurt is his brother betraying him if you have any feelings left him at all try to be decent and leave him be Just spend your time being an absolutely great father to your children because they don’t deserve fallout and stigma of your actions. I feel that’s the only redemption you will find.
Story 3 High value what ? 😂😂😂 first of all, that is cringy. But even if I somewhat agreed with the fact that there are high value human beings. Htf are you high value anything when you want to be with a girl who was cheating on her boyfriend ? then made you be her advocate so she could comeback with her boyfriend after you revealed the 2,5 years cheating. Btw cheating was only kisses 😂😂 All of that while ” leading him on ” into believing she would leave her bf so they could be toghether. High value doombazz at best. And I bet he spent crazy money on her too during all of that.