Religion plays a significant role in shaping cultures, values, and social structures in different societies. It provides moral guidance, influences rituals and traditions, and shapes family structures. Religion can inspire individuals to prioritize compassion, forgiveness, and empathy in their interactions with others. Research has explored how an individual’s religion (religious beliefs, religious denomination, strength of religious devotion, etc.) is linked to their cultural beliefs and attitudes towards issues like marriage, family, sexuality, and social justice.
While culture and religion can overlap in terms of shared values, they can also diverge. For example, a particular culture may prioritize individualism and personal freedom, while a religion within that culture may emphasize it. New research has found that the transmission of faith across generations has remained remarkably stable over the past 50 years, with six out of 10 parents with young adult children reporting having the same religious beliefs. Even within a culture, beliefs and values are highly shaped by which segment of society one happens to have been exposed to.
Religion influences morals and values through multiple pathways, shaping the way people think about and respond to the world, fosters habits such as church attendance, and influences behavior as people deviate from the teachings of the religion. The primary finding is that religious transmission is stronger among children of religious conservatives than for any other group.
The relationship between culture and religion is revealed in the motivation and manifestation of cultural expression. Religion can be described as a set of cultural values and norms related to the sense of a higher power or moral responsibility. However, it is important to note that religion can influence personal values and attitudes differently depending on the culture and family members.
| Article | Description | Site |
|---|---|---|
| What role does religion play in shaping family values and … | Religion plays a vital role in shaping family values and practices by providing moral guidance, influencing rituals and traditions, shaping family structures … | geniushigh.com |
| How Religion Shapes Cultures, Values, and Social Structures … | Religion plays a significant role in shaping cultures, values, and social structures in different societies. | multifaitheducation.com.au |
| Does religion shape culture, or does culture shape religion? | Religion shapes culture, but as people deviate from the teachings of the religion, culture starts to influence people’s behavior. | rgj.com |
📹 Can You Date Someone With Different Religious Beliefs?
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Are Religions Based On Faith?
The concepts of faith and religion are complex and interrelated, yet distinct. Faith, a deeply personal belief or trust, can exist independently from religious frameworks, allowing for individual interpretations and flexibility. In contrast, religion is a structured system of beliefs and practices shared by a community, often providing a clear organizational framework for worship and moral conduct. Although many individuals may practice a religion that stems from faith, spirituality and personal beliefs may not always align with traditional religious doctrines.
While religions offer rituals and dogmatic beliefs, faith centers on personal conviction and trust in divine entities or teachings. Each religion comprises various traditions, with five major world religions—Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Islam, and Judaism—highlighting a broad range of followers and beliefs. Surveys like the RLS (2007, 2014) have explored the diverse religious affiliations and practices across the U. S., illustrating the complexity of faith in modern society.
Furthermore, secular faith refers to convictions not rooted in religious doctrines. Despite differences, it is essential to recognize the intertwined nature of faith and religion, where faith can inspire ritualistic practices while religion provides communal support and organization. Ultimately, while faith is a personal journey, religion offers collective pathways to express that faith within a community structure.
Is Religion A Family Value?
Religion serves as a key value that binds families together, transcending contemporary cultural norms. The paper differentiates between two types of research: socialization research, where religion is a dependent variable, and family functioning research, treating religion as an independent variable. Religion is a valuable tool for parents to instill essential virtues like humility, compassion, and kindness in their children, equipping them for real-world interactions.
Religious organizations provide additional resources to reinforce family values. The family unit is pivotal in shaping the morals and perspectives of its members, especially children, who often adopt their parents’ religious beliefs and practices. However, conservative religious views may detract from family cohesion if there is nonconformity among members, while diverse religious groups can facilitate family unity. Religion shapes morals and values through numerous pathways, influencing attitudes towards the world, habits like prayer, and community engagement.
This influence is particularly evident in Filipinos, where Catholicism predominates, and in India, where lifecycle events are deeply embedded in religious rituals. The Christian value system encompasses foundational beliefs about family relations. Longitudinal studies indicate a resilience in religious beliefs over time, particularly in America, where family ties, volunteerism, and personal happiness correlate with religious engagement. The transmission of religious identity across generations often hinges on family commitment. Overall, while religion can positively shape family values and practices, its impact is multifaceted, highlighting both strengths and flaws inherent in religious traditions. Families, inherently more personal than faith, are foundational societal units, linking individual beliefs to broader community and cultural practices.
Is Faith A Value Or Belief?
Faith and belief, while often used interchangeably, possess distinct meanings. Faith is defined biblically as "confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see" (Hebrews 11:1). It implies trust or confidence in something or someone without the necessity for empirical evidence, often relating to religious or spiritual contexts. In contrast, belief involves accepting something as true based on reasoning or evidence. Thus, belief can be grounded in personal experiences or observable facts, while faith can transcend those limits, embodying a deeper trust.
Philosophical and theological discussions have long explored the implications of faith and its nuances. For instance, someone may exhibit belief without the depth of faith, which reflects reliance and unwavering trust despite doubts. In relational and moral contexts, faith often serves as a foundation for values and principles, influencing how individuals approach both themselves and the world.
Faith can be understood as a personal conviction about truth and reality that shapes one's worldview. It empowers individuals to confront challenges and self-doubt during difficult times. Therefore, while belief can signify an affirmation of truth, faith encompasses a broader spectrum of trust, connection, and deeper existential commitment.
What Is The Relationship Between Religion And Culture?
The relationship between religion and culture is an integral and symbiotic one, as inferred from Simmel's (1950) and Geertz's (1973) frameworks of religion alongside a fundamental definition of belief in deities through rituals. This complex and debated interplay implies that religion can be a source and product of culture. For many individuals, religion is crucial to their identity, shaping values, norms, and practices, while others view religion as a cultural entity with its own symbols and narratives.
The dynamic interaction between religion and culture allows for reinforcement, challenge, or transformation of each other. Extensive research across 88 countries indicates that shared religious traditions correlate with cultural similarities, even globally. The article investigates how religion, culture, and communication are interrelated, emphasizing how cultural expressions stem from religious motivations. Various examples illustrate how specific religions adapt to cultural contexts—Christianity and Islam manifest differently across regions.
Additionally, the discourse around cultural migrations and religious identity in multicultural societies highlights the need for further study on the overlap of religion and culture. Ultimately, the inseparability of religion and culture is underscored, as both influence human experience and identity, shaping beliefs, practices, and community life globally.
Is Religion Based On Culture?
Religion is a fundamental component of culture, serving as a means of expressing and experiencing spirituality in personal and subjective ways. It encompasses a wide range of practices, including rituals, prayer, meditation, and communal activities, grounded in cultural beliefs, morals, and texts. This interplay between religion and culture is complex; while religion can shape cultural norms and values, it is also molded by the surrounding culture. Different societies have distinct deities and methods of engaging with the supernatural, leading to variations in religious expression.
Scholars debate whether religion is merely a subset of culture or if it constitutes a unique cultural system that influences other cultural domains. Religion profoundly impacts cultural identity, influencing aspects such as dress, food, art, music, and social behavior. Sociologists and theologians assert that religion operates within cultural contexts and significantly shapes cultural practices.
Historical and sociological critiques, including perspectives from thinkers like Durkheim and Marx, highlight the integral role of religion in understanding cultural dynamics. The relationship between religion and culture prompts inquiries about shared cultural traits among individuals of the same religious background, even across different geographies. Overall, while culture encompasses the broader customs and traditions of groups, religion provides a system of beliefs central to many cultural identities, reinforcing the idea that culture and religion are inseparably linked.
How Does Religion Affect Personal Values?
Religion plays a crucial role in shaping personal values by serving as a moral compass that guides decision-making. It influences perspectives on marriage, family, sexuality, and social justice. A Pew Research Center study indicates that highly religious individuals tend to have stronger family ties, engage in community service, and experience greater happiness. Through various pathways, religion fosters habits like church attendance and prayer, while shaping moral and ethical standards.
Religious teachings often provide frameworks for discerning right from wrong, impacting individuals' moral inclinations, which are sometimes innate but flourish with religious guidance. Scholars argue that spirituality can lend meaning to life and aid moral choices during dilemmas. Research also suggests a connection between personal religiosity and well-being, exploring how factors like religious denomination and devotion affect cultural beliefs.
Regular religious practice contributes positively to individual and community well-being and influences moral behavior significantly. Overall, religious beliefs shape social values, such as views on homosexuality and gender roles, leading to a perception of morality as objective truths, while affecting attitudes towards benevolence, kindness, and fairness even after individuals cease practicing their faith.
Does The Church Or Family Come First?
The Bible emphasizes the importance of prioritizing family alongside church ministry, as illustrated in 1 Timothy 3:5. It suggests that if one cannot manage their household, they cannot effectively care for the church. Scripture commands us to honor our parents, but Jesus also calls for disciples to prioritize him above all else. While acknowledging Jesus' paramount importance, the author argues that family should still hold a significant place in our lives. Many believers view their priorities as God, Family, then the church. The Bible outlines general principles for maintaining family relationships, placing God first and family second.
A biblical perspective highlights that the pastor's initial ministry should be directed to their own family, reinforcing the notion that family takes precedence after God. The call to prioritize church and family is not mutually exclusive; they should exist side-by-side. The greatest gift one can give their family is a strong faith in Jesus. While acknowledging the struggles of balancing family and ministry, the author insists that both are essential.
The proper order of relationships is God, spouse, children, and then ministry. Churches and families should collaborate to support one another, as the collapse of families can adversely impact the church. Ultimately, prioritizing God leads to healthier family dynamics, which are foundational for a thriving church community.
Why Are Religious Beliefs Different?
Widespread cognitive tendencies, like mentalizing and intuitive thinking, help explain recurring elements of religion and individual variations in religious commitment. However, the vast diversity in religious beliefs highlights the cultural contexts in which these beliefs develop. Wendy Thomas Russell, an author on discussing religion in secular families, posits that the multitude of religions arises because religiosity is an evolutionary adaptation.
Evolution leads to significant variation within these adaptations. A simple reason for religious belief is the perception of a deity's reality, with individuals claiming to communicate with this divine presence. Research suggests that religious belief enhances self-control, a basic cognitive process vital to human behavior.
Throughout history, scholars have sought to understand humanity's attraction to religion, which encompasses various practices related to the sacred, such as worship and moral conduct. Despite significant differences, certain parallels exist among various religions, as noted by researchers. Each belief system demands adherents hold specific views on reality. The shift away from impulsive thinking toward a respectful understanding of others' beliefs demonstrates the social dynamics at play.
The rise in religiously unaffiliated individuals in the U. S. indicates changing attitudes, while differing beliefs reflect diverse upbringing and societal norms. Religious systems can be categorized mainly into animism, polytheism, and others, each with distinct frameworks.
What Are All Religions Based On?
Different religions encompass elements such as the divine, sacredness, faith, and supernatural beings. The origins of religious belief remain unclear, with theories suggesting awareness of individual death, community bonds, and dreams. However, all religions share core beliefs, including faith in a higher power, respect for others, and a sense of community. Despite an almost infinite variety of religious expressions, systems like "theism" categorize religions with gods.
As of 2020, approximately 75% of the global population identifies with five major religions: Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, and Judaism. These four religions alone account for over 77% of the global population, with 92% either adhering to these faiths or identifying as nonreligious. The complexity of over 40 religions, worldviews, and belief systems is illustrated in summary charts like the ReligionFacts "Big Religion Chart." Baha'i faith, founded in 1852, emphasizes monotheism and the belief in one transcendent God.
While differences exist within sects of major religions, common structures such as holy texts, worship practices, ethics, and ceremonies are prevalent. Learning about various faiths fosters a broader understanding of global religions, highlighting both similarities and unique elements across traditions. Ultimately, recognition of shared beliefs is crucial for promoting tolerance and acceptance among different faiths.
📹 Catholic Natalism: Peachy Keenan on Faith, Family, and Fighting Cultural Decay
Simone Collins and Malcolm welcome Peachy Keenan, author of ‘Domestic Extremist,’ to discuss her views on winning the culture …
This is one area in which you want to narrow your pool. Religious beliefs are intrinsic to your core beliefs. They immediately signal what your belief system is. Why waste time with someone whose belief system is so different from yours? Start with that commonality as a foundation and then discover if you’re a personality match.
My hubby is a vegetarian and an Eastern philosophy, I am a Christian. Growing up I wasn’t even allowed to date boys who didn’t go to our church, never mind Christian boys. The pool was so narrow I married a totally unsuitable person for my personality and it ended 20 years later in divorce and confusion for both of us. I’m so happy now and another 20 years on, being with a person, who although very different to me, is a good fit. Thanks for this article. I have doubted my choice sometimes and now I feel good about it.
Religious convictions, if they have any substance to them, shape your moral values and much of your personality, so it’s not a minor issue. In a world where people reject each other for the most superficial things, it would seem strange not to care about such a big thing. As an atheist, I think the only religious people I would consider forming an intimate bond with would be ones who’ve thought very deeply about why they believe what they do and what it means. But that kind of believer is very rare.
“Compatibility is very important. Your values concerning self-expression, money, health, career and providership—even your world view—must be in alignment with another. Again, there may be differences, and these differences can be very helpful, but if there are sharp contrasts and these contrasts are based upon the nature and design of both you and the other person, this will limit your participation together. This can limit your ability to accomplish any task together.” From Relationships and Higher Purpose » Chapter 12: Establishing Relationships – by Marshall Vian Summers. (free online/highly recommend)
If two people really love each other then, they feel more than happy in keeping and fullfilling the beliefs of each other . They didn’t try to impose their beliefs on each other. They didn’t try to change or convert each other. They accept each other as they are. If one person is non vegetarian other should take care of his or her needs and tastes .if one person is vegitarian then other person should take care that he/ she get 100% pure vegetarian food. Both Vegitarian and non vegetarian food should be cooked under one roof in different utensils and servered with love according to taste and beilfs on same table in two different plates . And both agree and respect this. If love exist between two they will find a way to keep each other happy.
It def helps if you’re on the same page for support but I’ve seen how it CAN work with my parents, 41yrs together. It gave me freedom to explore and see the differences between religions and i think helped me be more open to dating outside my “preferred ” religion. I think with love and respect everything is possible and this is just another example of the pressures one should not put on a partner … the relationship you have with religion is with u and that god, js 🤷🏽♀️
I personally wouldn’t date someone with different core beliefs than my own (I’m atheist) because the way we view the world and what underscores our fundamental values would just be too different. I’m happy to be friends with people from all different religions! But a life partner should be someone’s whose beliefs and values align naturally with your own, and if you’re coming from two totally different places it’s likely gonna be an uphill battle.
Exactly. I met someone recently who was very strictly religious. They taught me a lot about their religion which I found beautiful, however they cut me off due to me not following their religion strictly when I have different beliefs and I made that clear in the beginning. Sadly, we had a lot in common but there wasn’t enough openness to accept me for who I am from their end I believe. At the end of our communication, they started telling me everything I have “wrong” with myself when it was really just difference of views and faith. It was a good lesson, but quite intense as getting such feedback on myself yet them not open to feedback themselves created an unhealthy environment I felt. It made me not willing to express my feelings if that makes sense.
When it comes to religious beliefs, I’d have to disagree with you. I don’t believe it is an arrogance to desire someone with the same faith. You spoke about your wife and what drives her dedication as a vegetarian and those great reasons. I’ll speak specifically for the Christian faith since I’m a Christian. When I look for someone else with the same faith, I am not looking for someone who is just like me. I am actually often attracted to someone that is very different than me, they’re not an echo chamber b/c of their faith, they’re a totally different person than me and I love that, they share values with the foundation of that faith. Like you mentioned with your wife, the reasons behind the belief/faith is what matters as well. As a Christian, I believe in the death and resurrection of Christ and there’s so much more to explore there than ‘a set of rules.’ When I choose to date within my faith, it’s not b/c I think less of anyone else’s way of life or believe mine to be the best. It’s ultimately not about me, it’s about God. There’s so much more to the faith. 🙂
This is one of the wisest responses I’ve heard from Matthew. For someone who has been single for years, it does narrow your search to searching for someone with similar beliefs. On the one hand it helped me re- clarify why I choose this path, But on the other it Reminded me that I shouldn’t be arrogant in that approach to wanting to marry someone of the same Faith. It should come from a place of humility and not from a place of superiority . Thank you for reminding me that.
My boyfriend and I have been together over 4 years . He and I don’t badger each other on our religious believes at all. I’m a raised Baptist and he’s atheist. He excepts my believes as my own and I do him the same. It has no affect on our relationship what so ever. Each is allowed to believe what they wish.
That was a very interesting perspective, thank you Matthew. I do appreciate that keeping dating within my faith does slim down my options, but I truly do believe it’s worth it. As a Christian, I truly believe that the love of Jesus is the best love, and I would need any romantic partner to understand that and encourage that, pray with me and point me in that direction and not think it was weird to build my life around it. It is deeper than food choices, political opinions, other worldviews. I certainly welcome not being in an echo chamber with my friends and potential partners. But faith is the centre of my identity and is too precious to trade in for romantic love. But it is also good to be challenged on whether I am narrowing down in other ways…
In answer to the article question, yes of course you can, but the real question is do you WANT to date someone with a different religious background? Personally, no, only because I want to be singing from the same hymn sheet. Inevitably, you morph into one and I think values and beliefs should organically align rather than forcing them to align. P.s. thank you for your articles Matthew, I remember seeing you in Kensington, London in 2015. I was single and very naive haha. Congratulations on your engagement too. Xx
I love this website and all the discussions and advice Matthew has shared, but I don’t love how he said, the greater our criteria, the slimmer our chances. I find this is a very limiting mindset. This then opens up to a lot of people doubting what they truly want in a forever partner and if it’s “too much” because like you said, it decreases our chances (which I don’t believe). Logically maybe, but I believe the universe provides us exactly what we believe we can have and what we ask for. If we don’t believe there is a person created beautifully perfect to compliment us, we will find anyway to settle or to limit our criteria and our true desires. For example, sharing food, being able to travel and go anywhere and eat the same thing and get excited about how amazing the food tastes, that is actually one of my non-negotiables. I think all of these things run deeper than just a matter of oh, but they could teach me something or that’s a great quality about them. It’s the matter of the values, lifestyle, way of being that could potentially impact your quality of life. Although yes people CAN make it work, but you have to weigh up the potential struggle, and also what experiences or things you would have to give up. Of course everyone has different goals, priorities, so it varies to person to person whether giving it a go with someone that has a quality/trait that is quite different to theirs is worth it. Eg. if you both come from different religions, you have to think about how are you going to raise your kids, will you come with me to church?
Respectfully disagree. I love your articles and I’ve found them super helpful after breakups, but being vegetarian is not a religion. I see your point but I think that would not be applicable to most situations. Especially in people who are more religious and when relationships become more serious and you start thinking about the future and how you want to raise your kids. This can cause a lot of conflict.
It’s not arogance. It’s a need for emotional safety. Many religious people are often being disrespected becouse of their “naive” way of seeing the world. Ofcourse not every atheist is going to think that the religion is silly but it is something that is probable. And from the point of view of someone who really puts God in the first place it is unbearable to be with someone who thinks it is silly. So how can anyone feel safe around someone who doesn’t respect that? And yes, I know… I speak from the place of being a victim but… It’s still not arrogance. It’s just fear of being direspected. And as I can respect all peacefull religions as long as they don’t hurt anyone and I can be friends with people of any culture, the one person that is suppoused to be my partner should feel the same way about the most important thinghs as I do. And thats pobably very subjective and many people have different view on that. Buy I just don like this generalisations that Amtthew often presents.
Well, I’m 46, divorced w 4 kids (half are grown, thank goodness). I will say this: at my stage it’s like, what are the deal breakers? Followed by, emotional intelligence, and do we energetically align. The rest are the details to be sorted out. Head, heart, and root center must cohere. And within all of that, discussion. Everyone has their own idea of how all of those things should look. It’s important to discover and then talk about that shit.
I was in a relationship where there was not alignment with spiritual beliefs. I was ok with having different approaches as curiosity and being open to being taught by the universe is a value of mine. Unfortunately, I felt like it didn’t go both ways. He believed at some level that I would eventually decide on something. I didn’t feel like I could share my curiosity and excitement with him. I felt like he was trying to change me (in more ways than just that) and like I had to hide or change parts of myself that I like. It’s not important that someone has the same faith/interests/likes/ways of living as long as they honor and respect yours.
This podcast is somewhat relevant to what I’ve been through this week. Thi is exactly what I said to someone I met online that I wanted to be with somebody who has the same religion as mine. Then he questioned me with my preference ‘coz for him love should not be based only with religion. But for me I considered religion as a very important aspect in any relationship especially with problems that might happen in the future because of the difference in faith.
For me, I would say YES that I could date someone from diff religion. Why? Coz for me, it is not about all religion, BUT it is on you BOTH how you will have this understanding to each other’s beliefs and respect to one another. We are raise in diff families and culture so with a wide knowledge and understanding, I believe BOTH could have this beautiful partnership.
❤❤❤❤ I can identify with this. I’m with a guy of a different faith. Many people, in society have tried to divide us in our love and mutual respect for another, and used the concept of religion to do it, including churches, temples, synagogues, family. I am here to say, that interfaith relationships work, that different cultures and upbringing only creates more depth and fascination in relationships. My husband is also vegetarian and I am not. We still go out to restaurants together on dates, 21 years later.
The rule widens it – I can only be with someone who shares the same beliefs, values, goals. There’s no bothering with anyone else. I have so many options within my “rule” if I want them. There’s so much freedom in recognizing the only men I’d be with, and there are still millions of them. Do I need more than millions available? More than a few? More than one? There’s no heartbreak in later “just realizing” there’s no future There’s no wasted time. There’s already a solid foundation and we know it. It’s ridiculous when people date – and have the inevitable, devastating, could have been avoided relationship loss – while knowing one wants children and one refuses to have them or one wants to live a certain way and one wants a very different lifestyle and neither will budge or other serious differences – so when religious beliefs are important, crucial or pivotal, it doesn’t at all lessen anything – everyone goes in with real knowledge of the basics of how they want their relationship and future. It’s easier. It’s better. It’s not less but much more.
I wouldn’t recommend it. At all. I’m in my 40’s and had never found a guy until just this year—I thought I was being too picky so I lowered my standards to not include religion. I have a boyfriend now, and every day is absolutely miserable because we believe totally opposite things. He even accuses me of taking jabs at him whenever I’m explaining my faith—yet he’s outright anti-semitic and can’t even see it. Awful. There are worse things than being single. Trust me.
Take it from someone married to someone of a different faith for 10 years. It doesn’t work. I even got pressured into trying his faith. It doesn’t work. It’s not a particular religions fault. Organized religion as a whole separates communities. Separates people. Creates hate. After many years of thought, reading, and experiencing other religions… I have been an atheist for the last 20 years. And it gives a peace of mind that I can’t even explain. knowing right from wrong doesn’t come from a book, it comes from our innate humanity.
It depends. It’s all about respect. My ex and I had completely different views on religion. As a matter of fact, that’s probably the only belief we didn’t argue over. Our breakup had nothing to do with that. So yes its possible so long as you respect each other. Unless its actually very important, then probably not
Religion and politics are the two things that are non-negotiable. You have to be on the same wavelength, or it will not work. On the other side of that, you explicitly should look for people who have different superficial interests as you. I think you should have things you and your partner each enjoy alone, and things you enjoy together. If you date someone because they like all the same music, movies, sports/games, etc. as you, they you’re going to do literally everything together and become co-dependent.
well you CAN… but it would DEEPLY depend on the person and the religion. some religions are very strict and would dominate over the other person, who don’t believe the same. then there are the types of people who’s religion wouldn’t dominate the other – but the PERSON still does. it all depends on what and who you are dealing with…. in most cases i would say: it CAN work, but… its going to hurt the relationship. it will be HARD and too conflicting at too many turns. not worth it of you ask me.
One of my major regrets is being brought up/conditioned to be drawn to a small pool. I know you tell us off when we say this but I really wish I paid attention to your work years ago. I have become soo much more open minded since your teachings and ignore the conditioning.. I was brought up with. I am soo mad at myself/parents for making me think I wanted a Sri Lankan guy from my background. I never felt it. Love you man. ❤️❤️ I was going to make a cheeky comment about your shirt but I have refrained myself hehe 😄 xxxx
One of the reasons I love your content is that I find your emotional intelligence (and Audrey’s too) off the charts. For this reason I have to call you out here. I’d bet my life savings that by going out to “great” restaurants and eating “whatever the speciality is”, when it includes animal products… goes against YOUR OWN VALUES. (Curious: Would eating at the Yulin Dog Meat Festival be one of the experiences on your bucket list? If you heard it was delicious?) Regardless, I’m sure if, before eating any meal with animal products, you had to OK the activities required to convert that animal to food, you too would be vegan. Though Audrey’s vegetarianism is a move in the right direction, she must know that the egg and dairy industries are equally (if not more) cruel than the meat industry – and in fact, they are basically the same industry as once the animal is no longer of use, it’s sent to the slaughterhouse. I believe there’s tremendous cognitive dissonance at play here. A challenge for you both is to watch the movie EARTHLINGS (narrated by Joaquin Phoenix) together and then ask yourselves – “Am I ok with this? Do I believe this is morally ok?” (If you are more of a reader, I recommend “Eating Animals” by Jonathan Safran Foer) The only reason about 90% of nonvegans AREN’T vegan is because they’ve purposely never informed themselves. If they actively sought out truth they would also go vegan or, at the very least, would admit that their actions are cruel (contributing to animal exploitation and violence) and they would not be cavalierly depicting eating animals as a benign way of living life to the fullest.
Matthew your articles are always so relevant and so helpful. I’ve seen a couple other comments alongside these lines: how do you approach this when on one side or the other family has very strong beliefs, even if the 2 individuals in the couple don’t? I suppose this could be expanded beyond just religious beliefs to anything strongly held: politics, etc.
I broke up with my boyfriend because his political views didn’t line up with mine. I’m very progressive socially. He also claims to just be spiritual but he occasionally goes to church and believes in God and the Bible. I regret how I ended it and I’ve been sick all day wondering if I made the right choice. The last time I dated someone religious they lied about it and they turned out to be one of the more radical ones. Sent me on a hell of a journey because of it. I have since calmed down and become pretty comfortable with my religious beliefs. I can’t handle an upset like that again. I need someone who values the same things I do without such polarizing differences. I could date a vegetarian. Not a vegan though. Lol
i find this very interesting because i was recently going through this with someone i was seeing amongst other issues where i am a religious christian and the guy i was dating was not. he was baptised but not practicing and not religious & i think the way i went about it was wrong because instead of accepting him for being that i was kinda like well i would appreciate it if you tried to learn more about the faith and deepen it and grow it and he was like i’ll give it a try but i can’t gaurantee you that i’ll go to church every week with you etc. it just wasn’t how he was raised and it was how i was and i think if i had maybe approached it differently for example like accepted it and over time observed if he was curious or interested in what i do on a sunday then it may have worked out better. but instead i gave him a book about a guy that is christian but doesn’t go to church and told him to read it so he could learn more. he was open to it and tried to read it. but when he ended it with me one of the things he said was i tried to do whole religion and book thing but it just wasn’t me. and mind you there were other issues unrelated to religion but speaking about this particularly it made me feel stuck because on one hand i felt like hey why are you trying to mould this person into what you want instead of accepting them for who they are. on the other hand i would’ve rather he just tell me it’s not me and i want you to accept that or it’s not gonna work rather than just leave..
You’re unlikely to find a person who has exactly the same beliefs as you. For example, a Catholic might marry a Catholic, but that doesn’t mean their beliefs even on that subject will be exactly the same. You’re bound to run into a view that doesn’t match your own. No two people have had the same experiences, have the same thoughts, have the same preferences, etc. You’d have to marry yourself if you want the exact same beliefs. So what happens if you run into a different belief? Do you just walk off forever? No. You could accept it. You could not talk about that subject. If you just walk off forever, the same thing will happen again with the next person. You’d date your new person and find a different view somewhere again. Them sharing the most important beliefs with you is all you can really ask for. They don’t have to share all your beliefs, just the most important ones.
I used to have a friend who was an Asatru Pagan and married a Catholic! We thought he was crazy! I don’t know why she accepted him! I wonder if they’re still together… They were pretty tight. For me as an atheist, I would not be interested to date a christian, but it’s hard to find someone with traditional values who isn’t a christian.
I’m Christian and my wife is agnostic. She really has an issue with alot of Christians but until now there’s really not been an issue. I don’t force my beliefs on her and open minded and accepting of others but now there seems to be minor issues arising. We’ve been married for a little over 2 years. I want things to work out but I also want us both to be happy. She’ll say everything Is fine but then she’ll be upset. So idk what to do.
The problem that arises isnt when your dating its when you start having kids. You need to look at it in a long term and not in short term. Is the kids going to vegetarian or vegan? Will they be catholic or muslim. I think to really arrive that deep both should have to have a real understanding of each other. Atheist may affront a problem differently than a person who is spiritual. And true relationship bcoz solid only if we truly understand each others and have our mind and hearts open. This is the root of all problems. Acceptance and understanding is needed or relationship will only reach on short term and never in long term relationship. So let me ask u if u had kids would allow them to be vegetarians? Im vegan and i have that issue with the father. Ill let u guys decide that for yourselves.
I think this only really applies to individuals who are not so devote. As someone who is, my religion literally impacts how I live, breathe, work, and everything in between. Being with someone of another faith would feel isolating and conflicting because yeah, opposites attract, but not your morals and values, and religions have different perspectives on all things. Just my thoughts 🙂
Thank you for this article! When I listened to the podcast of this snip bit I wrote that info down about the type vs. rules we make in dating … I thought that was very interesting. Both can limit our pool in dating but I can see how rules can be deal breakers that keep us saying “no” to people right off the bat without getting to know them. Very awesome 👏 ya’ll made a article from this section! Love it 😍
First time in a decade of listening to Hussey I see a topic where he lacks his usual uncanny perception of a fundamental human value. I’m simultaneously taken aback & happy; taken aback that there’s actually something he’s clueless about. Happy there’s actually something he’s clueless about i.e. he IS human after all 🤗 For years I’ve referred to him as “Hazrat Hussey”, a classic Muslim title imparting reverence & fondness, reserved exclusively for the spiritually exalted & the prophets – no doubt many in my faith would consider me blasphemous.
I feel one of the major things secular or non-religious individuals fail to understand is that faith or religion is not something superficial. Someone that believes in God lives their lives according to a standard set out by their respective traditions that influence and colour the way they see the world and the decisions they make in life. It is not something they just “believe” or something they attend on Sunday morning but it is literally a part of their being. It is a difficult concept for a non religious person to grasp because non religious people are not grounded in a moral tradition and have not developed a spiritual side that can understand faith in its fullest context. Non religious people are not beholden to any standard other than the standards they choose to hold for themselves. Thus they have a superficial understanding of how deep faith is for a religious person. To say its arrogant to have a defined moral standard is ironically arrogant. All it reveals is the very incompatibility that Matthew is saying does not really exist. Ironically i find that narrowing your pool is exactly what dating needs. You are looking for one person to build a life with. Having one partner is literally forsaking all other possible partners. And knowing exactly what you believe and what you want is what will lead you to success. I find that secular dating leads to all kinds of issues and baggage because secular people do not have a unified standard. You adopt what you like and leave the rest.
I’m in a situation now that I’m currently dating someone with a different beliefs, he is a Muslim and I’m a Christian. He is open to learn about my religious beliefs and I told him that I will just be firm be a Christian. I feel like being with him in the future wouldn’t be a problem because I wouldn’t like to have kids, he is also ok with that idea. My problem is that they don’t know that I’m dating someone like him and there is an expectation from my friends and family that I should be dating a Christian and to have kids in the future because that was my preference before. It’s hard to open up to my friends and family that they used to know me so well and now I have compromised.
I see what you mean by the echo chamber and all – sure it’s good to compromise on some things and to be open to other and new perspectives, but I actually think it’s totally reasonable that you would want to be with someone sharing same faith or ideology as you. I’m an agnostic atheist, I don’t think I’m compatible with someone highly religious; same goes for politics; I’m strongly left-winged, I wouldn’t match well with someone right-winged or centered. It comes down to lifestyle, worldview etc. I wouldn’t be with someone wanting children either, cause I don’t want any – all those things matters. Could I be with someone who fx. likes to collect Star Wars figurines? Sure, cause it isn’t against my core values/beliefs. I need to share core-values with my partner. If religion isn’t a core value, or that it’s just not important for you – then go for it. I rather want to be alone than being with the wrong one, same goes for friends; they shouldn’t be copies of oneself, but surely it’s important being able to agree on some of the deeper issues in life, and to share some common interests etc. It’s also important not to agree on everything (recovering people-pleaser here). It’s important (for me at least) to connect on a deeper level with the people in my life. Some people are maybe having a rigidly worldview or preferences in what they want in a partner; and some tends to be a bit too compromising in their values; it’s all about balance – the balance that works for you.
Some of this was pretty cringe, to be frank. The vegetarian part, for example, and being a better person if you don’t eat meat. Pure moral judgment that is individualistic. And religion, even if ‘non-practicing’, plays a strong role in relationships that shouldn’t be discounted so quickly simply because there are other traits or values you like in someone. Raising children, a core conviction that’s part of the religion and even family and friends are all important. For instance, as for a core conviction, I don’t like abortion but don’t know how a woman can be forced to carry to term if she didn’t want the child so I believe it’s a State issue to be decided by the people living in each. I could never be with a woman that was flippant about abortion and believed it wasn’t killing a child simply because most don’t want the responsibility to use birth control. And yes, I’ve had that very conversation with a woman I had an interest in. She could not understand that primary responsibility laid on the shoulders of a woman to tell the man to wear a condom if she was not on birth control or there would be no sex. Because, outside of rape, women choose if sex happens. She still wanted to blame men for unwanted pregnancies requiring abortion and even joked that it wasn’t a big deal. I could NEVER be with someone that 1. viewed taking life with such nonchalance and 2. being unable to understand even basic reasoning. Oftentimes, it’s a recipe for disaster.
Having the same faith, values, and morals are the politics to your relationship and how to raise your kids. the culture you bring into this world. We are “individuals” but we herd in groups that is something innate, and I think when we try to live in such a hyper individualization of society you have more external pressures than internal resolutions and ends up more “rules” to continue chasing the very same thing you were trying to “free” yourself from I also think you can learn someone from another faith I don’t think anyone disregards that, but I think we try chase “freedom” but yet are still chasing something that we value, and I feel that what we value is what you worship. So I feel there’s a lot of blurred lines and seductive language, but I would be curious someone like Dr Sahid Bolsen on these podcasts.
I asked my parents about this subject and was told that a man is to leave his mother and father and cleave unto his wife. The religion I was raised in was my parents’ religion… therefore, I left that religion and adopted my wife’s religion. I believe the most important factor in spirituality is diligently living life as though my God exists.
Nah. I watched alot of articles and agreed with most of them but this one, nope, I strongly disagree and still subscribed 😉 You can’t compare being in a certain diet with being in a certain religion. It’s like comparing Broccoli and a Book. Yeah books are made from plants/trees but it’s way too farfetched. You might as well telling me to not narrow my pool and also open to date men😑 For me to prefer a traditional Christian lady, helps me to filter out certain qualities and values that I look in a partner. Yes for sure that it would have black sheeps in those field of filtering, but it definitely would help to avoid unnecessary dilemma like, in what faith should the wedding be, what faith should the children follow, etc. I would go as far as to say that it is of extreme arrogance to think that everyone would have the freedom of choice to have a partner with different religion without having heavy consequences. Why extreme arrogance? There are millions of Muslims, Christians, Catholics, etc who cannot marry a person who is of different faith because it would result in persecution, rejection of the community and even some being disowned by family members. So to a article like this, It is of Extreme Arrogance to make such opinions knowing your audiences doesnt just consists people in the U.S. Hope you could reflect on this, Matthew Hussey. Sincerely Your current subscriber
Hi, I really need your help. My boyfriend, three years relationship, started new work six moths ago. And he became different to me, okay change happend i can handle with it. He started to be obsessed with his boss(he is a men!). He took more care of him than of me, etc. He chechs if his boss remember that he has an appointment to doctor at the morning and stupid stuff like that, he never remember my things like that. I am really confused! Please help.
It does not work. I had to go the hard way to realize that. Im not going to disclose what his religion was because i dont want to seem disrespectful towards it but lets just say it was the pure opposite of what i believe in which is why we fought a lot and why his family wanted us to break up which put an extreme amount of pressure on him because he was stuck between what he wanted (me) and what his parents wanted (a girl from their religion). And it would have never worked out anyway because of kids since they would have had to have his religion + marriage since he cant enter my church and i wanted to get married in a church later on. Pls choose wisely who you fall in love with. God bless, have a nice day!
Reformed Muslim, background conservative Dated interracially, Catholics but he doesn’t go to church Christian men : They’re church -goers, prayers at his home usually midnight. Unsure but need to be married spiritually. Else the marriage is invalid. All are respectful towards religion rituals. Maybe unsuitable for conservative Muslim which are stricter
I just went on a date with this Beautiful woman who I was so attracted to . She absolutely knew that I’m Jewish anyone who sees me knows .. I have “payot” which are the Jewish side curls . The first time I met her I asked her point to my “peyot”,”does this bother you ?”. She quickly said “oh not at all ” .The next day we went on a date and she started explaining her religious beliefs and my spirit kept cringing so I kept interjecting and correcting her 🙃 she even let me rub her hand while she was talking 👄 🙃 but eventually she got up and said that she was insulted she then got up and left .The very next day she agreed to giving me another chance but during texting she was stand-off-ish and eventually it never happened. For some reason I still want to be with her soooo bad ! It’s sad but I must live my beliefs not just merely believe them . I still feel so crushed and conflicted 😕.
Shows a total lack of understanding of what religion is. Not even remotely comparable to vegetarianism. It’s about the higher purpose in life, why we were put on Earth, and the fact that there is only one truth when it comes to God, and how He wants us to conduct our lives, it transcends the temporary life we have on Earth and has eternal consequences in this life and the Hereafter. The truth is not based on dogma but rooted in scientific evidence, reason, logic that concurs with what God has told us thousands of years ago, that in some cases is only just being discovered by mankind.
Religion informs some people’s identity and more … Depending on which community someone originates from, dating/mating and marriage choices are not always voluntary! Maybe the person who send the message originates from a more traditionalist Middle Eastern or non European group, where in group marriage is the norm. Also, religion equals ethnicity/culture in Europe! Like your content, but its very Euro-American centric …
This is low key the worst advise I’ve ever heard. He said her being a vegetarian still bothers him. So there for your still not 100% on the same page as your partner. A feature about her brings up uncomfortable feelings. And that’s just about food bro. Imagine religion. Worst advise I’ve ever heard, how do your side children ? Do you go to church or temple ? Like dig in a bit instead of talking so slow about nothing