Alzheimer’s disease can be a challenging condition that can make communication difficult for family members and friends. To help them feel more comfortable, share tips such as reading an infographic on how to communicate with a person with Alzheimer’s, making sure the bedroom is comfortable, limiting daytime naps, and talking to your GP or community nurse if sleep problems persist.
Alzheimer’s disease is a progressive form of dementia, and it is important to educate yourself about the disease and its effects. Find tips for caregivers and family members of people with Alzheimer’s or related dementia, including tips on everyday care, changes in behavior and communication, and caregiver health. One successful approach to reducing inappropriate behaviors is to communicate within the affected person’s frame of reference.
When caring for an Alzheimer’s patient or their family, it is essential to adjust to the “new normal” and help them do the same. Knowing what to expect and what resources are available can make the process easier.
10 important tips for family when caring for an Alzheimer’s patient include staying in touch, being patient, offering support, engaging the person with dementia in conversation, helping with the family’s to-do list, engaging family members in activities, offering reprieves, reassuring the person, speaking calmly, listening to concerns and frustrations, suggesting activities beyond talking, helping children, and complimenting the caregiver.
Handling caregivers can help by supporting existing relationships and encouraging the person with dementia to join social groups, community activities, and religious activities. Share your experiences living with Alzheimer’s and invite them to Alzheimer’s Association education programs.
| Article | Description | Site |
|---|---|---|
| Tips for Caregivers and Families of People With Dementia | Reassure the person. Speak calmly. Listen to his or her concerns and frustrations. Try to show that you understand if the person is angry or … | alzheimers.gov |
| Helping Family and Friends Understand Alzheimer’s Disease | Helping family and friends feel comfortable · Tell people who visit how much your loved one can understand. · If your loved one has difficulty … | nia.nih.gov |
| ‘I want to go home’ – What to say to someone with dementia … | Reassure the person verbally, and possibly with arm touches or handholding if this feels appropriate. Let the person know that they are safe. | alzheimers.org.uk |
📹 How to Talk to a Parent With Dementia
Caring for a parent or a spouse with dementia requires a special touch. In this video, caregiving expert Pamela D Wilson shares …
What Is The Number One Food That Fights Dementia?
To prevent dementia, foods rich in carotenoids, such as carrots, squash, sweet potatoes, bell peppers, tomatoes, papaya, apricots, and leafy greens like spinach and kale, are recommended. The MIND diet, which merges elements of the Mediterranean and DASH diets, aims to enhance brain health. Colorful fruits and vegetables are linked to improved cognitive function. While no single food can combat dementia, a varied diet of anti-inflammatory foods, including leafy greens, is beneficial.
Sugary candies should be limited to lower dementia risk. Fish, a staple of the Mediterranean diet, is shown to support brain health. Specifically, leafy greens contain antioxidants, phytonutrients, and folate that help fight cognitive decline. Furthermore, choline-rich foods, which are critical for memory and mood, should be consumed. The link between nutrition and brain health is well-established, with leafy greens, fatty fish, berries, nuts, and whole grains recognized for their protective qualities.
The consumption of whole grains has been strongly associated with lower dementia risk, while berries like blueberries and strawberries can aid cognitive function. Overall, a balanced diet emphasizing plant-based foods and healthy fats is vital for maintaining brain health.
What Stage Of Alzheimer'S Are Mood Swings?
Alzheimer's disease leads to significant emotional and behavioral changes, with mood swings being particularly notable. Individuals may quickly oscillate between calmness, tears, and anger without clear triggers. As the disease progresses into its middle stages, especially Stage 4, these mood variations become increasingly apparent over a period of roughly two years. Early stages may also exhibit subtle mood changes, including irritability, depression, and nighttime disturbances, which evolve into symptoms like anxiety, appetite changes, and apathy in later stages. Ultimately, advanced stages may introduce elation, hallucinations, and delusions.
Mood swings can occur throughout the dementia progression; however, they often intensify due to frustration over lost abilities or confusion regarding their surroundings. Caregivers typically support loved ones during the milder early stages, while in the middle stages, they may face more complex behavioral challenges. Common emotional symptoms in middle-stage Alzheimer's include increased anxiety, agitation, and severe mood fluctuations, sometimes leading to social isolation and subsequent depression.
Alzheimer's disease progresses through five identifiable stages, each marked by distinctive symptoms and behavioral changes, culminating in severe impairment of thought, memory, and personality, leaving individuals increasingly disconnected from their emotional and social lives.
What Are The Three Types Of Behavioral Triggers In Alzheimer'S?
Agitation, hallucinations, and delusions are prominent behavioral disorders in Alzheimer's, often categorized as the three types of behavioral triggers: aggressive behavior, apathy and depression, and hoarding or misplacing items. Staying calm is essential when dealing with these challenges. Understanding these triggers is vital for effective Alzheimer’s care. Common behavioral symptoms in dementia include confusion, leading to difficulties in cognitive functions and daily tasks.
Environmental factors, medical conditions, and medications can exacerbate these symptoms. Among the disruptive behaviors presented by patients with Alzheimer's are wandering, agitation, and anxiety. Key triggers include emotional distress, changes in surroundings, and unmet needs such as hunger or discomfort. Each patient displays unique challenges, requiring tailored responses, including creating a calm environment, removing stressors, and offering security objects to alleviate agitation.
The primary internal, external, and synthetic triggers can significantly impact behavior, particularly as Alzheimer's symptoms advance. Recognizing these triggers ensures appropriate care and support for individuals with dementia, ultimately enhancing their quality of life by addressing the environmental and psychological factors responsible for behavioral changes prevalent in the disease.
What Makes People With Alzheimer'S Happy?
Lesson 2 emphasizes the positive effects of singing for individuals with dementia, highlighting how it releases endorphins and promotes joy. Engaging those with dementia in simple, enjoyable activities can enhance their happiness—listening to favorite music, solving puzzles, and performing light tasks are beneficial. Verbal reassurances about their significance also improve well-being. Experts suggest that despite the challenges, individuals diagnosed with dementia can still lead joyful lives by fostering connections and engaging in personalized activities that reflect their interests.
People with Alzheimer’s experience frustration with tasks but can maintain their sense of self and quality of life until later stages of the illness. Loneliness can amplify challenges, necessitating strong emotional bonds from loved ones. Communication may become difficult, yet those with mild to moderate Alzheimer’s can still convey their happiness. Recognizing that happiness is distinct from joy, caregivers must navigate daily realities to ensure comfort and engagement.
Activities like singing, reminiscing through photos, and enjoying ice cream can evoke warm memories. It's crucial to maintain structure, minimize distractions, and offer choices, enabling individuals with dementia to feel valued and at ease while nurturing meaningful connections.
What Is The 2 Finger Test In Dementia?
The 2 Finger Test is a cognitive assessment where an examiner interlocks their fingers in a specific pattern and asks the patient to imitate it. This test, particularly a modified version known as the Interlocking Finger Test (ILFT), may aid in detecting dementia in Parkinson's disease patients. Various signs observed during related assessments, such as the "second finger syndrome" and "distal pressure sign," can indicate Alzheimer's disease (AD).
The ILFT is employed to evaluate hand strength and dexterity, and has shown to correlate with parietal lobe dysfunction. Furthermore, it could assist in distinguishing between Parkinson's and Alzheimer's dementia. Researchers also explored a simple finger displacement sign as a bedside differentiator. Importantly, no validated bedside tests for visuospatial deficits exist, making the ILFT significant in clinical settings.
Additionally, the SAGE test effectively identifies individuals with mild cognitive impairment who may progress to dementia. The FINGER model, grounded in scientific research, emphasizes preventive measures to delay cognitive decline, showcasing the integration of simple tests into routine care for dementia assessment.
What Speeds Up Dementia Decline?
Dementia often progresses more swiftly when accompanied by other health issues like heart disease, diabetes, or poorly managed high blood pressure. A study funded by the NIA, examining data from nearly 17, 000 older adults, found a combined decline in walking speed and cognitive function to predict greater dementia risk. Dementia primarily results from Alzheimer's disease, which entails significant cognitive deterioration over time. Rapidly progressive dementia differs from typical forms, advancing much faster than usual.
The presence of delirium, typical in Alzheimer's sufferers, can also accelerate cognitive decline. While some dementia patients may maintain normal function initially, they often transition through common stages at varying speeds. The time to receive an Alzheimer's diagnosis can average two to four years, resulting from subtle early symptoms. Slow walking speed serves as a reliable indicator for assessing future dementia risk. Factors influencing dementia progression include individual health histories, and external changes, such as routine alterations or emotional stressors.
Existing conditions like high blood pressure can hasten cognitive decline, but managing these with medication can help slow the deterioration. Moreover, engaging in mentally stimulating activities may reduce cognitive decline temporarily, offering potential benefits against dementia's progression. Understanding these dynamics helps in providing appropriate support to at-risk individuals.
Which Would Be Good Tips For Alzheimer Patient Caregivers?
When a family member has Alzheimer's, it impacts the entire family, including children and grandchildren. It's essential to engage young people and help them comprehend the situation. Beyond conversations, families can enjoy activities like listening to music or browsing through photo albums. Caregivers should assemble a support team to share the responsibility and gain insights into home safety and caregiver health. Resources at Alzheimers. gov offer tips on everyday care, behavior changes, and nutritional guidance.
To support caregivers, strategies include creating a daily routine, promoting physical and mental activity, and maintaining a safe environment. Managing caregiver health is crucial; relaxation techniques such as meditation can alleviate stress and anxiety. Caregivers should ask for help, join support groups, and prioritize nutritious meals. Essential tips include setting consistent daily schedules and avoiding conflicts. Encouraging independence while gently guiding loved ones through tasks can improve quality of life.
It's crucial to be open to new communication methods and understand the progression of the disease, ensuring a patient-centered approach. By fostering supportive interactions and focusing on self-care, caregivers can navigate the complexities of Alzheimer’s while finding fulfillment in their role.
How Do You Cope With Alzheimer'S?
Staying connected through a card, call, or visit shows you care about those facing Alzheimer's. Patience is essential, as adjusting to the diagnosis varies among individuals. Providing emotional support is crucial, especially amid family stress. Avoid arguing, as it is unproductive with dementia patients. Caregivers can seek advice on daily care, behavior changes, and health. Knowledge about Alzheimer's aids in understanding the effects and challenges of living with dementia.
Approaching situations with gentleness is advisable, as recognizing underlying feelings can ease emotional responses. Strategies to manage dementia-related behaviors are necessary, with varied coping mechanisms for different individuals. Accept that caregiving roles will change and seek local support groups for additional help. For personal well-being, set realistic goals, seek assistance, and maintain a nutritious diet. Implementing a daily routine and a comforting environment can alleviate stress.
Coping with agitation requires patience, calm communication, and a reassuring presence. Providing family members time away is also beneficial. Continuous learning about dementia types and early intervention can help manage symptoms effectively. Embrace changes with understanding, reaffirm identities, and stay connected. Acknowledge the need for kindness towards oneself in this journey while actively engaging with tailored coping strategies.
What Are The Three Golden Rules Of Dementia?
The three golden rules of dementia care, as outlined by the Specialized Early Care for Alzheimer’s (SPECAL) method, emphasize effective communication to enhance the quality of life for individuals living with dementia. These rules state: do not ask direct questions, listen and learn from the person with dementia (considering them the expert), and avoid contradiction. Implementing these guidelines can help reduce frustration and foster a supportive environment, but caregivers must also be aware of the different stages of the disease and adapt their approach accordingly.
The essence of these rules is to promote patience, understanding, and dignity in interactions. Asking direct questions may lead to confusion or stress for the individual, so it’s essential to listen actively and learn from their experiences. Contradicting or arguing can escalate tensions, so caregivers should prioritize validation over correction.
Understanding these principles forms the foundation of dementia care programs aimed at improving communication and ensuring well-being. The SPECAL method encourages caregivers to view situations from the perspective of those with dementia, recognizing their unique experiences and insights. By adhering to these golden rules, families and caregivers can create a more compassionate, effective support system for individuals with dementia, ultimately fostering a more peaceful and contented experience for all involved.
📹 3 things to NEVER do with your loved one with dementia
Welcome to the place where I share dementia tips, strategies, and information for family members caring for a loved one with any …
I’m curious how to handle them with humor or redirect them when they’re screaming at you that “My daughter never helps me” and so many awful things it’s enough to make you want to end your life when you don’t even want to be caring for these people. I know I sound like a terrible person. I don’t want to care for them isn’t it ok to walk away to save your own life. That’s my concern. I’m scared for my own life. They scream at me to do unsafe things with my body. I am so glad I found this today. I need resources.
20 years ago? That explains so much! My mother began, in small but very hurtful ways, being just cruel to me, her middle child and only daughter, about 20 years ago. Random, senseless acts, like not inviting me on family trips, insulting me in front of others, etc. Even if I had done something really awful, these actions just wouldn’t be her personal way, or so I thought. It’s been going on for so long now that it’s become her personality and it’s definitely affected our relationship. Over the past year, the signs of dementia became much more obvious. She was still so haughty and dismissive about the appointment with neuropsychiatry: she refused to go for half a day of testing, saying it was unnecessary. Even though my father was a psychiatrist and a beloved father and husband, she indicated that, at least as to her, the whole profession was unnecessary! She finally went, but couldn’t follow the directions and got lost trying to find the right desk, then was so hostile to the staff that the first hour was spent calming her down. She failed every single one of the memory tests, but did o.k. on the others. She was livid, furious at the diagnosis. Refuses to refer to the PhD who tried to counsel her as a “doctor.” She associates me with the whole process, I suppose, because the hostility is barely hidden. I find it necessary to remove myself from being around her for the most part now that she’d moved into an assisted living situation. Over the past 15-20 years, it seems to me that the dementia slowly removed her inhibitions, and she simple became less able to disguise her real feelings of resentment and vengeance (her word) toward me, and less able to pretend she likes me.
My Dad has been diagnosed with Dementia. I took care of him for a year and just couldn’t cope. He would ” mark his territory” he wee’ d everywhere and still does. He lives with my daughter now, she takes very good care of him. He is always packed and ready to leave. Last week he ran away from my daughter’s house, he was on his way home😢. He meticulously planned his escape. I am so grateful that I came accross this article and will certainly be sharing this with my daughter. My Dad does not recognize me anymore. My main concern is that my Dad runs away again. We were very blessed to have a caring community that helped as look for and find my Dad.❤
You hit the nail on the head!! Dementia happens 20years before the diagnosis. I have had patients with obvious dementia symptoms with no diagnosis in their chart. The doctor/nurse/ relatives have no clue. The children think that the parent is just being difficult (esp if the patient has always had a difficult personality). No one has spent enough time with the patient to notice….
Thank you, Pamela! As the sole and new caregiver for my father with dementia, I am not always sure of the right things to do and feel so alone in this journey. My sister lives out of state and gets an opportunity to visit once a year. It is difficult to express the day-to-day struggles and unknowns of caregiving to her. Your articles help me understand what my father is going through, how to handle situations better and realize I am not alone in my caregiving experiences.
I wish I had found your website sooner. My my was just diagnosed with dementia. She moved in with me for three months, but it was affecting me mentally and physically so I placed her in an ALF. Within a week at the facility, she had to be placed under hospice care. That’s how quickly she has been deteriorating. My mom has always had issues with anxiety and she’s a very negative person. Our relationship has never really been a close one and I moved out at 18. So I’m sure there were signs of the dementia that I just attributed to her character. As an only child she is my sole responsibility. I’ve realized that I made mistakes while she was under my care. For example, trying to reason with her. Sometimes it’s best to let professionals deal with our loved ones care. I made sure to look for a good ALF and I visit her often to make sure she is well taken care of.
Do you tell them the truth or go along with the delusions? My mom kept saying that my dad is around her. She’s been doing this off and on for two years now. I don’t know what to say to her. My dad passed in 2022. She does know he’s gone. But it seems the dementia takes over at times. She remembers most long term memories but forgets short term things like what she ate that morning. She has an MND (it’s called PSP – Progressive Supranuclear Palsy) and the dementia is beginning. You are so right about her knowing when I’m upset. Once when she told me my dad was sitting there with her, I almost lost it and began to cry. I hid it quickly and moved to another part of the room. When I turned back I saw that she was perusal me and her eyes were huge and intent on my face. I hugged her and she held my hands and wouldn’t let go. I had the feeling that she knew the truth and knew I was suffering. I love her so much… my heart is breaking. Every day.
Wow, that is VERY impressive. I am a nurse that works in long term care and that is EXACTLY how I approach dealing with care of some of our clients. The sad truth is that too many workers who work in these facilities don’t have the knowledge and or skills and become frustrated with these clients. The management expects these workers to provide care but too many don’t know how let alone understand how. I don’t believe it is their fault it is just that most don’t have the necessary training / education to deal with some of the challenging residents. Too many nursing homes are strapped for good help so the environment in and of itself is challenging. I try to educate some of the workers in funny ways and by example. I am a supervisor and I come to the floor to help out. I am hopeful the workers will see how I deal with stressful situations to know it can be done but they as workers have to do a bit of creative approaches to be successful. Thank you for such good information.
Great article! I’ve been saying for years mom has something going on in her brain along the lines of dementia and unfortunately it’s hard to get diagnosed in early stages and with no cure currently it’s not the worst thing to happen but by the time my mom got diagnosed she’s gone from annoying beliefs and behaviors to almost helpless in what seemed like overnight. Seeing her now and looking back at some of her strange beliefs and actions I believe it started years ago and now all of those quirks make sense. It is stressful, it is heartbreaking and it is hard work but I truly believe the more we can educate ourselves the better it is for all concerned❤️
Knowledge is power! The more I learn about this disease and how to handle someone with dementia the better it is for both my mum and I. I also have my dad who at 92 is finding it challenging seeing his wife like this. After 3 years of being her primary cargiver I would say that the hardest part has been dealing with wanting to go home and the few occasions mum has been difficult to deal with is because we didn’t approach the situation properly. Now it’s just easier getting in the car,even three times a day and driving around until she is tired and ready to return to her house of 62years. Saying ‘no’ the biggest mistake you can make in my opinion when she is agitated and wanting to do things her way. As long as it’s safe I validate what she is feeling or experiencing and then try to redirect her. It usually works…..so far and she is going onto stage 6.
Thank you for your articles. I’m an independent contractor/consultant & am blessed enough to bring my 81 yr. old mother with me to work, & we live together. I’ve noticed signs of dementia at a significant rate in a short 3 month period. Thankfully my 25 yr. old son lives with us & helps me tremendously. Your articles have helped me to teach my son better ways to understand & communicate with his beloved grandma. Mom just told me yesterday that she’s laughed with me more in one day, than she has in a year without me. My son & I are avid believers in the power of humor 🤣 & love to laugh. We just keep on loving her & laughing & praying 🙏. God bless you for all you do.
My Dad is now in a Memory Care Unit, and mostly is sweet, caring, very settled and happy to be there making new friends. However, we have had to cut off a former friend/girlfriend and he’s upset with us for not helping him get in touch with her. It’s so hard! But this lady was trying to get his money, yelling at him, yelling at staff … way over the top with her own emotional problems. So – I guess you could say my number one concern has been the times we’ve had to step in and “parent” my dad because his sense of good judgement is gone. He was always such a wise and intelligent person. A lot of that is still there, but he’s totally vulnerable and childlike in other ways.
Thank you Pamela! As a new caregiver to my mom with Parkinson’s and dementia I needed to hear this. I understand now how it is like speaking another language and their brain doesn’t understand. I try to make jokes and keep things light as much as possible. Hugs, kisses and back rubs help put my mom in a better mood. This is the hardest job that I ever had and I appreciate seeing your articles that guide me through the next challenge. God Bless you. 🙏🏻❤️
Thank you my dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a year and it’s been really hard to cope I mean when me my mum and my cousins went out to London we found out he broke down the backyard door to get in and yesterday he left and went to his friends and said we had no food and when his friends delivered him he said that it wasn’t his house. This article has been really great advice, Thank you 🙏
Had to find a place to vent.. Momma just passed.. An I am so lost.. I miss you momma .. rite now we be sharing time when there were no words.. I spent the past 6 years with you every.. We were a great team.. You were adorable.. I enjoyed getting to reaily know you.. An it broke my heart perusal you leave.. I watch the shows you watched.. An I can still hear you yelling at the TV . I remember you..dumping iced tea on Brenda in the closet.. You loved to hate her.. Laughing an clapping your lil hands to Golden girls.. It was a hard journey for you . Moments of clarity.. were the worst at times . My goal was to make sure your end was happier then the beginning.. An it was . You smiled a lot .. Had loads of fun…I spoiled you rotten:) You had to go .. friends were waiting on you.. An I am.heer trying to pull.it together . An to top it off remember Janice ..momma?? My 17 year old Bassett .. She got run over the other day momma.. It was horrible.. So I miss you both.. Maybe she’s with you an hope.. I Love YOU 💗 Fly free momma
Today my mothers psychiatric told my father and sister that my mom have dementia, she have been bipolar patient since she was 17, now this, I found this article and I really appreciate that I found it, I send it to my dad so he can have an idea on how to help her, she is in the beginning of dementia probably a few years already but we though it was a manic episode of her bipolar condition. Thank you for your article Pamela D. Wilson…
Thank you for this article. I’m struggling with my mom’s signs of dementia. Most, if not all, of the things you discussed I experienced tonight, including wanting to go home (she is) to seeing a person that wasn’t there. What you shared is helpful. My biggest struggle is understanding I need to put aside focusing on communicating the reality… I feel like I’m lying when I don’t tell her what’s real vs not. It’s a journey. Thank you again for this.
I want to imitate Dana Carvey’s old SNL skit “The McLaughlin Group” and shout “WRONG! NEXT ISSUE!!” but she’s my mom and, despite the fact that she used to LOVE that skit, and Carvey in-general, I doubt she’d like it coming from me now. I’m very new to this whole situation—mom is an 88 year old retired (and much beloved) college English professor of 37 years, and she always prided herself at being able to help anyone with questions about grammar, writing, spelling, vocabulary, etc…and it’s so hard to watch her struggle to find a word and not be able to remember things we discussed only minutes before. I’m her only caregiver, she lives with me and my son, I work full-time and recently took a massive pay cut in exchange for a 3 day per week, 12 hour per day position that allows me to be home with her Monday through Thursday. She also has bronchiectasis—a chronic lung disease—and she’s never smoked a day in her life. She had an cerebral angioplasty two years ago and still has a small aneurysm in her brain that hasn’t been operated on. She is completely deaf in her left ear and 65% deaf in her right. Last week I had to rush her to the ER due to what I thought (and my neurologist cousin also thought) was a stroke. After 48 hours in the hospital she was released with a diagnosis of “vertigo.” I am trying to learn how to talk with her without upsetting her or becoming frustrated and angry myself. Thank you for publishing this information. Truly.
My mum has dementia, I have been caring for her over six months now, which feels like a life time but also like it started just yesterday. Mums memory is basically gone. Her body is in amazing shape and I can see it lasting at least ten more years. Ground hog day has been our life and I’m not surviving it too well. At first her happy little oblivion smile and I don’t know who you are but I’d like to be friends demeaner was charming and cute but now her calling me Mum is grating to my very soul, her foot steps in the morning are like approaching doom causing a tight knot in my stomach. I don’t want to see that shell every morning, I don’t want to live everyday over and over and over. She shouldn’t have to either, I know that if she could see and realize what this disease has taken from her and left her with she would not want to be here. But she has no idea, my father and her repeatedly said that they would not go to a home and to my horror at the time, Dad would off handily say “you don’t have to worry we will not be around when that time comes”. But he left it too long because he didn’t realize he was slipping, he is now in a dementia ward, my sadness with this whole ordeal is consuming and suffocating. No one afflicted with this disease would want to be living like that. I wish I could have remembered my parents the way they were and not have these memories of WHAT not who they have become overriding the ones of better times. Every day is sad, every day is like the last, everyday is just everyday.
Wow. I wish I had heard this a few years ago. I was never good at getting out of my logical head to meet Mom in her space. Because of the lifelong tension in our relationship, I had very little patience, and we were both perpetually frustrated. She died a couple of months ago. Had I known better, perhaps I could have offered her more comfort in her last years.
My main concern is how to GET a diagnosis when your loved one is actively blocking that at every turn? The dementia is obvious (and has been going for some time.) But the denial is deep, and no talks have netted results…they refuse to talk to their doctor…they won’t be honest about what’s happening, etc. I can’t even get the help needed because there is ‘no problem’ on paper. How do you overcome this hurdle?
Thank you so very much for this information and advice… you truly understand what it’s like 👍👍 I have been caring for my 82 year old Mom since March 2024 … so much has happened….thank you for offering to answer a question my question for you is how do you set up a visit for your Mom with dementia with her son ( my brother ) who chooses to not speak to me, her caregiver and poa… and has given death threats to me … so safety is an issue…I’m still working on my safety plan… and he doesn’t understand that she is not able to make decisions on her own… because of the dementia and Altzimers it’s so difficult…. I pray he chooses to be rational soon…. Everyone I have asked so far says I’m not sure how to handle that one … I’m grateful I can choose to grow through this 🌱🌱🌱🌳🌳🌳 and learn lots✅✅ I am praying for everyone 🙏🙏🙏 Thank you so much for making this article. I’ll definitely check out your resources ✅✅ thank you again!!😌
I was having a conversation with my half brother recently about his mother who is 85 and he was telling me about her being forgetful and making remarks about him and his other siblings that she otherwise wouldn’t if her cognitive function had been in tact like before the diagnosis. I told my brother that he and his brothers and sisters have to keep in that mind that when she says something that might sound out of character for how they know her to be that they can’t take it personal because most of the time the disease is dictating what her thought process is and thus come the perhaps unkind remarks about her children
Thank you so much! So much great info! A challenge we are dealing with: Mom is still at home by herself. One of us family members stops in daily. Mom can cook very simple meals like canned soup, sandwiches, fruit, veggies. However, lately we’ve noticed she’s half-way opening the pop lid of the soups, but she’s not pulling it off. Then she sticks it in the fridge. What are your suggestions regarding easy food choices that mom could handle. We’ve talked about meals on wheels. And we do bring her already prepared meals a few suppers of the week. Thank you!
I can’t figure out how to get my mother out of her chair. She has become more sedentary every day. She always says it’s because it’s painful. We both have the same deteriorating joint disease so I do understand how hard it is some days to even walk. I’ve begged, pleaded, nagged, yelled, cried, prayed, but nothing seems to motivate her enough. We’re not wealthy enough to have a full time caregiver in the home or for a good assisted living facility (which she adamantly does not want to be placed in). I just don’t know what to say or do.
My 91 yr old mother and her husband just moved in with my step-sister because my mom was wandering at night (they were living in a retirement community). She calls me not knowing who these people are (only been married to my step dad for 10 years), is miserable and expresses daily that she wants to die. Her mother also had dementia and my mom says she’s “crazy too, just like her”. We have an appointment Wednesday with a neurologist who deals with dementia and I”m hoping (and praying) that he can figure out something that will help her deal. She also is nearly blind due to macular degeneration. I”m at a loss of what I can do.
The vascular MRI showed subcortical small vessel disease, “moderate” vascular dementia. My reading suggests “Moderate to Severe”. I am struggling most with the nasty guilt trips and sneering. She’s is better shape cognitively than what you describe here. From what I’ve read, her condition likely began years ago with gait problems, and that bears out objectively. The main problem is We embarked on an off grid homestead just before we learned the true dementia situation, which her awesome sparkling Situational Competency misrepresented prior to being relocated hours from an actual town. Our homestead is barely 6 months from raw land. We sold everything to make our dreams of Regenerative Agriculture happen.
I’m the caretaker for my father who was a lifelong Alcoholic. He has not been officially diagnosed with a memory loss disease, but he absolutely has memory loss and does not practice proper hygiene, and will not allow me to help him bathe. The issue I would most like your help with though, is he continually gets the mail, goes through it, and throws away important documents. I work from home and I cannot watch him 24/7 so I don’t know how to prevent this from happening. Any advice is appreciated.
My 92 year old father is still driving. He has macular degeneration and is making poor decisions in general. He drove with dialated eyes (poor decision) and almost hit someone. I tried a family intervention twice to get him to stop driving where we offered him 3 options of how to handle the driving part. He agreed and then changed his mind less than an hour later both times so I called the DMV and asked them to evalute him. They sent him a letter telling him that he had three months to pass the vision, driving and written test. He called me and asked why it happened and I told him I decided it would be wise for the dmv to evaluate if he was still ok to drive. He was furious and told me to get out of his life. We haven’t spoken in a month. I’m not sure what to do. I am his only child and he lives alone. He absolutely refuses any suggestion I make.
Very helpful advice! Thank you! I remember a movie from long ago entitle “50 First Dates” where Adam Sandler prepared a article for Drew Barrymore to look at each morning she awoke in a new and unfamiliar world. Have you ever found in the literature a process whereby a person in the early stages of dementia might prerecord a message to themselves explaining their new, strange situation? Things we tell ourselves seem to be more valid that things told to us others, and I’m wondering if such a gentle, explanatory article of “this is the story of your life” might be of use to a caregiver at some later date. Just a thought.
Hi, i have been searching for answers on YouTube. Your article has been helpful, and I have shared it with my 95 yr old dad, who is mum’s first caregiver. It’s so difficult. She is like sticky toffee, not wanting to separate from my dad. Dad is very tired physically and mentally. He bears the brunt of her many bad days. Today, dad says she was ok, but the minute I got there, she talked about wanting to throw herself out of the window, which she often says, and going to live in what used to be her parents house, and my nephew occupies. Apart from what you explained, how can a person with depression coupled with this illness and trauma, be helped? Thank you
yes, i need to stop getting frustrated, but rn he’s lost in a town he’s never been in 2.5 hours away because he drove off this morning,..and has been driving for 12+ hours …and i don’t know why. i couldn’t find him all day, and finally he picked up his phone. he forgets how to use it. It’s making me sad, and i need to be more patient…it’s just hard to watch him not understand things that just a few years ago he was doing for a living.
Your tips were very helpful❤ But my grandmother cant hold conversations or undertand what we are trying to tell her.. she cant complete ber sentences, so i dont know how to enter her reality… sometimes she says she wants to go to the doctor and then we agree with her and we say that “we will go to the doctor after eating..” sometimes she cant understand.. she will say “what?” Can yiu help me with what we can do then…
My grandma, who is 87 years old insists on wanting to visit her mother (who died around 36 years ago), and always wants to go home whenever too many people visit her. I just don’t know what to say in those cases… does she believe she’s younger than she is? I’ve been just so confused to handle the situation, and I’m at loss of words because she used to be this vibrant, energetic woman.
Hi there! My name is Baylee and my father was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. I have questions specific to his condition that I’m not comfortable sharing in the comments. I love your advice and gift of knowledge on the subject! Is there a platform that I can reach out to you individually, maybe send a article to you directly explaining my questions regarding my dad & send it to you? Thanks:)
This was good information. How can I talk to you? Email? My dad has a form of dementia and is in a little bit of denial. He has an upcoming appointment with a neurologist and I would like the doctor to order an MRI. How do I talk to my dad about this? I’m so worried about him and my mom Thanks K. Schultz
My dad died recently and mum has gone into a care home. She is awaiting diagnosis but in the meantime she is unable to care for herself. There are so many reasons why, but she can’t cook/clean/wash herself/tell the time or day and wouldn’t take any medication. She’s constantly saying she wants to go home and get a job – she’s 90. How do I deflect when she talks about going home please? Love from the UK x
My mom got her Alzheimer’s diagnosis yesterday she is 72. We knew it was coming as both of her parents had it. My issue is my dad (terrible hearing loss) who won’t fix his hearing (his hearing aids are 12 years old). My mom also has anxiety and depression and it turns to panic when my dad can’t hear her after constant repeating, he will not carry a cell phone. He is very combative and stubborn. If he can’t communicate properly with her how is he to care for her? He says he hears perfectly well, but we all know that is in no way the case.
Hello Ms Wilson! I’ve spoken to you about my mother with dementia. It’s apparently gotten a bit worse now. Question: if she should not recognize me in the future and she’s afraid of me bc she doesn’t know who I am, what do I do to reassure her she’s safe??? I don’t want her to be yelling or screaming at me! Lol Thank you! 😀
Somebody asked my mom where she lives and she responded saying the address of someplace we lived 25 years ago. Today, she said that the phone wasn’t working. I kept testing the phone by calling it and she kept trying to convince me its not working. She then plugged it out and got pissed. She has not been diagnosed but I honestly think she may be experiencing some cognitive decline that is associated with that. None of my other siblings seem to have the time. I seriously hope that this is just a matter of her being extremely stressed out but I fear there may be something deeper going on.
I am the sole caregiver of an uncle. He has no children and no longer has any friends. He made me his beneficiary when his wife divorced him about 10 years ago. Looking back, she was a nurse who had been a caregiver for her mom with dementia, and I think she recognized the signs and bailed on him. I feel as though I am “stuck” in this role, and I often resent it. There are two things my uncle does, that drive me crazy. He thinks everything he cannot find was “stolen” by some men that we had to hire to do some work on his house last year. Even when I help him find the missing item, he says “those people” stole everything from him, and refers to something else that they “stole” that we have already found. The other thing is he gets mad every Sunday because the preacher is being too “intellectual” and reading too much out to the bible! He spends the whole hour yawning (loudly) and checking his watch. I know he can no longer follow the thread of the sermon, but of course he can’t understand that.
What can I do as a 14 year old whose grandma has dementia and nobody including my narcissistic mom wants to help her? Everyone treats her like she’s dumb and stupid while I can still see she’s still smart. She lives alone and is a hoarder and I heard she has a rat infestation and she has a dog also living in those conditions, she still drives around and I’m honestly scared If she gets in a wreck or she starts a house fire but no adults in my family want to do anything about it! I’m not sure to do anymore. Her memory is bad enough you can tell her something one second and then she’ll forget it in 15 seconds or so! I was blinded by my mom’s lies for so long that I overlooked everything and all the family drama but I don’t wanna overlook this.
My mom believes my home is her father’s house and wants my husband out. She tells people how much she hates him. He tries to stay away from her as much as he can in his own home. She takes downs my family pictures with him in it. What to playful redirecting can I do when she is so pissed off at him and me for letting him be there.
My mom passed away and my father has been so ignorant towards me and his other daughters. We have always been there to help him now he acts like we are trying to take something from him. I don’t know what to do but he has flipped out on everyone who loves him and even his friends. How can I help my father when he dosen’t want it and just is so rude and ignorant he has called his own daughters bi****’s and wh***s.
Real talk as a child that’s dealing with a parent going through this if you’re getting mad at them or upset with them for doing repetitive tasks such as Paysinger asking the same question you need to remember that you want ask the same question 1 million goddamn times have respect for your parent and remember they took care of you when you were a week you need to take care of them while they’re week