How To Help Your Family During Surgery?

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Be present for your loved one after surgery, as many patients are at a higher risk of contracting diseases. Follow these guidelines to keep them safe: use soap and water or hand gel, listen carefully to discharge instructions, and be realistic about what you can offer. Care and support from a loved one can help reduce the risk of postsurgical complications, accelerate recovery, reduce hospital readmissions, and improve quality of life.

To help a loved one following surgery, prepare for the surgery, clean your or your home, and learn how to safely help them change positions. Caregivers should also plan to go along with the patient to pre-surgery appointments and maintain communication with the surgeon and healthcare team. Craft genuine and empathetic messages to comfort someone pre-surgery, focusing on optimism, support, and confidence in their medical team.

Caregivers should be there emotionally, help with practical tasks, and be patient. They should also be considerate and talk to the person they’re helping about how they would like to be supported. Some people may want someone with them every step of the way.

A care intervention focused on meeting the needs of family members of surgical patients during the surgery waiting time is beneficial. Help your loved one exercise regularly before the procedure, volunteer for daily walks, suggest quiet speech, respect the privacy of other patients by staying at the bedside of your friend or family member, invite family members to liven things up, encourage peaceful time alone for them to engage in hobbies, and always make sure they know they have support.

In summary, being present and providing support to a loved one after surgery is crucial for their recovery and overall well-being. By following these guidelines and providing the best possible assistance, caregivers can help their loved ones heal and make the post-op recovery process more smooth for both themselves and their loved ones.

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How To Help Family After Surgery
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How To Help Family After Surgery?

Caring for a loved one after surgery requires thoughtful preparation and emotional support. Start by preparing the home environment for their return and arrange for tasks to be managed. It’s essential to maintain a strong, positive attitude and take care of your well-being to provide the best care. Use technology to assist in their healing process and help manage their pain effectively. Daily hygiene support is crucial, as is overall wellness promotion.

Be available throughout all recovery stages and respect the individual's healing time. Offer emotional support and be present, as this can significantly impact their recovery. Prior to the surgery, attend pre-surgery appointments and gather care instructions from the doctor. You can set up engaging activities, like hobbies or games, to make their recovery enjoyable. If needed, seek help from professional caregivers for daily tasks.

Finally, communicate openly with your loved one about their needs and be prepared to adjust your support based on their evolving requirements. Proper companionship and care can enhance recovery, decrease potential complications, and improve quality of life.

How Do You Support Someone Undergoing Surgery
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How Do You Support Someone Undergoing Surgery?

Supporting someone before surgery can significantly impact their emotional well-being. Key approaches include being sincere, empathetic, and positive. Crafting genuine and encouraging messages can uplift their spirits; start with a warm greeting, express confidence in their recovery, and reassure them of your support. It’s essential to be aware of post-surgery etiquette, as patients can be sensitive after their procedure. Offer realistic help, whether it’s assistance with hospital preparations or being there for them during recovery.

Comfort is crucial; find words that convey hope and strength. Be present by asking questions about their mental and emotional state, without intruding. Offering to accompany them to appointments and providing emotional support through listening can be beneficial. Once they return home, help them with physical tasks and continue to provide encouragement. Check in regularly to see how they are doing and acknowledge their need for help, promoting a supportive environment.

Ultimately, the goal is to show that you care through both verbal and practical support, transforming a daunting surgery experience into one less intimidating through kindness and compassion. Being a steady support can improve the overall surgical journey for someone you care about.

How Can I Be Supportive After A Surgery
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How Can I Be Supportive After A Surgery?

Supporting a friend or loved one post-surgery involves thoughtful planning, empathy, and practical assistance. It's essential to schedule visits in advance, as spontaneous drop-ins may not be welcome during recovery. Factors such as the type of surgery and the individual’s health can affect their healing process. Open communication is key; ask your loved one how they prefer to receive help.

Simple yet effective ways to show your support include sending a "get well" message and checking in regularly, even if you're unable to be physically present. Offer tangible assistance, like helping them follow post-operative instructions related to incision care and rehabilitation, administering medications, or managing daily tasks. Creating a recovery-ready environment, such as organizing their space for easier access to essentials, can also be beneficial.

Being available emotionally is vital; celebrate their small victories and encourage them along the way. Activities like short walks can be helpful as they regain strength. Additionally, maintain a positive outlook and ensure you care for yourself to be an effective support system. Remember, the recovery journey can significantly benefit from the presence of understanding friends and family, and your support can make a meaningful difference during this challenging time.

Can A Family Member Be Present During Surgery
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Can A Family Member Be Present During Surgery?

La presencia de los padres en el quirófano es recomendada durante la inducción de la anestesia, la recuperación, la resucitación y en procedimientos quirúrgicos junto a la cama en niños. Si la familia está presente, se reduce la ansiedad del paciente, lo que puede minimizar la necesidad de sedación. Se permite que un padre o cuidador acompañe al niño al quirófano, mientras que otros familiares deben esperar en la sala. Aunque hay políticas que permiten la presencia familiar en emergencias, a menudo se les pide salir durante procedimientos invasivos en UCI, a pesar de los beneficios comprobados de su presencia.

Se sugiere que un defensor personal esté presente durante la cirugía, ya sea un cónyuge, familia o un profesional médico ajeno al equipo. Informar a los familiares sobre el estado del paciente durante la cirugía es crucial y se facilita con horarios accesibles. La evidencia indica que la presencia parental puede reducir la ansiedad y el dolor en los niños y acelerar su recuperación. Los doctores no deben operar a familiares directos para evitar conflictos éticos. Los miembros de la familia también pueden proporcionar apoyo emocional y físico durante la cirugía ambulatoria.

What Is The Hardest Surgery To Recover From
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What Is The Hardest Surgery To Recover From?

The complexity of surgical recovery can differ by individual; however, surgeries like spinal fusion, shoulder replacement, and ACL reconstruction are often regarded as some of the most arduous due to extended recovery durations and intensive physical therapy needs. Specifically, spinal fusion surgery involves the fusion of two or more spinal vertebrae, resulting in a challenging recovery process that typically spans several months. Similarly, thoracic aortic dissection repair and complex spinal reconstruction pose significant recovery challenges.

Common orthopedic surgeries, such as knee replacement and total hip replacement, also fall into this category. Recovering from these procedures often requires adhering to strict rehabilitation protocols, as returning to normal activity too soon can hinder healing. Open surgeries generally entail more pain and longer recovery compared to minimally invasive techniques, like laparoscopic cholecystectomy, which offers quicker healing timelines.

Each surgery's difficulty varies, with spinal fusion frequently highlighted as one of the most demanding due to its impact on mobility and the necessary follow-up care. Ensuring compliance with post-operative instructions is crucial for a smoother recovery experience across these complex surgical scenarios.

What Should I Do If Someone Has Trouble Moving After Surgery
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What Should I Do If Someone Has Trouble Moving After Surgery?

Be safe during post-surgery recovery. To help someone who has difficulty moving, ensure floors are clear of obstacles to prevent trips. If they will be largely immobile, learn how to assist them in changing positions for comfort. It's crucial to know when to contact a doctor if complications arise. To aid in recovery, set daily walking goals with the care team, as movement is vital to prevent blood clots and muscle atrophy. Prepare your living space before surgery and maintain open communication about how best to assist them.

Managing pain is important, and appropriate medication can facilitate movement. After surgery, some grogginess is common from anesthesia, but it's important to get up and move as soon as possible. Be mindful of warning signs that could indicate complications, and consider consulting a physical or occupational therapist for advice on mobility, bathing, and self-care. To avoid common recovery pitfalls, avoid doing too much too soon, stay in bed excessively, and ensure adequate nutrition and hydration. If problems like constipation occur, gentle treatments can help. Always reach out to a healthcare provider if you have difficulty caring for yourself after the procedure.

Why Is Day 3 After Surgery The Worst
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Why Is Day 3 After Surgery The Worst?

After heart surgery, patients commonly experience increased pain around day three, leading to surprises regarding recovery progress. This may be attributed to the peak inflammatory response and patients reducing pain medication usage, leading to pain escalation. Initial pain relief may be created by hospital-provided pain management techniques, but these diminish as recovery continues. Studies suggest that post-surgery pain, particularly after procedures like tonsillectomy, can be most severe on days two and three.

Patients may also experience routine discomforts such as nausea due to anesthesia. The daily worst pain scores serve as key outcomes for postoperative evaluations, illustrating a curvilinear decline in pain intensity over the recovery period. Despite the low risk of infection (under 3%), factors like age, smoking, obesity, and diabetes can elevate this risk.

It’s crucial to manage post-surgical pain effectively to enhance recovery and mitigate complications like pneumonia and blood clots. Generally, patients can expect their pain to diminish within a few days, though certain surgeries can lead to prolonged discomfort. On the third day post-op, as anesthesia dissipates, symptoms of pain and swelling typically peak. Hence, care should be taken not to overexert during the recovery phase; instead, gradual movement is encouraged alongside adherence to prescribed pain medication regimens to facilitate healing.

How To Stay Busy While Recovering From Surgery
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How To Stay Busy While Recovering From Surgery?

During recovery from surgery, it's essential to balance rest with engaging activities to boost both physical and emotional well-being. Explore new music through streaming services, enjoy movies by borrowing Blu-rays or DVDs, or watch at home. While adhering to post-surgical guidelines, gentle exercises and stretches can aid recovery. Engage in enjoyable pursuits like learning a new language, reading captivating books, or starting a new hobby such as knitting or crafting.

These activities can help stave off feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction that might arise during recovery. It's crucial to avoid strenuous tasks and prior commitments that could impede healing. Reach out to friends, family, and neighbors for support, whether that’s medication reminders or casual check-ins. Remember to prioritize self-care, including nutrition and hydration, during this time. Managing pain, caring for your incision, and following surgeon recommendations will facilitate a smoother recovery journey.

Consider a variety of entertainment options to keep your spirits high—binge-watch TV shows, engage in card games, or explore DIY crafts. Overall, stay active but not overexerted; start with short walks and gradually extend the distance. Recovery typically spans several weeks to months, so remain patient and attentive to your health as you navigate this period.

How To Support Someone Going Through Surgery
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How To Support Someone Going Through Surgery?

Supporting someone undergoing surgery involves a blend of empathy, reassurance, and practical help. Begin by expressing your presence and support with comforting words like, "I’m here for you, and I’ll be thinking of you during the surgery." It’s normal for them to feel anxious, and acknowledging this feeling validates their experience. Offer specific help, asking, "Is there anything you need help with before the surgery?" Your encouragement can boost their confidence, reminding them, "You’re strong, and I believe you’ll get through this."

Post-surgery, be aware of proper etiquette and hygiene, as patients often feel vulnerable. Take care not to irritate them, respecting their recovery needs. After surgery, ensure their home is a safe environment by clearing potential tripping hazards and offering assistance with daily tasks. Maintaining open communication about their needs can help tailor your support.

Ultimately, striving for a balance of emotional backing and practical assistance can ease their fears. Discuss what they desire from your support and be present throughout the process. Providing meals, running errands, or simply being encouraging are vital actions that demonstrate your care. By crafting genuine, empathetic messages and being involved, you help create a comforting atmosphere during this challenging life event.

What Is The Most Painful Day After Surgery
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What Is The Most Painful Day After Surgery?

Post-surgical pain is typically most intense during the first 24 to 48 hours post-procedure, influenced by factors such as pain management, type of surgery, age, and health history. For example, certain orthopedic procedures often report significant pain levels, and many minor surgeries like appendectomy and cholecystectomy can also cause high pain intensity. Some patients may require surgery for heel fractures, though non-surgical interventions can suffice for less severe displacements.

Recovery may involve symptoms that could signal complications, such as infections, especially if extensive tissue damage occurs during surgery. It’s essential to mobilize early after surgery to prevent issues like blood clots. Pre-surgical discussions with healthcare providers regarding pain management are crucial for setting expectations. While pain is common, it usually diminishes in several days, though some discomfort may persist for weeks or months, especially after major operations.

Patients should be aware of signs indicating potential complications and maintain dialogue about their experiences and pain management throughout the recovery process. Overall, while post-surgical pain is normal, effective management is key to achieving a more comfortable recovery.

How Do You Talk To A Friend About Surgery
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How Do You Talk To A Friend About Surgery?

When supporting a friend facing surgery, proactively ask if they need help, as many may hesitate to request favors. Show genuine care by engaging in conversation about their family and loved ones, emphasizing your investment in their life. Understand surgery anxiety; conveying thoughts of support can significantly improve a person's mental health and recovery. Use comforting phrases before their procedure to ease fears, reinforcing your presence and confidence in their medical team.

Post-surgery, focus on how they feel rather than probing their health or test results. Craft empathetic messages, promoting optimism and encouragement. In-person support can be comforting, but it's essential to be mindful of their emotional state. General advice suggests that any sincere effort to help will be valued.

Encourage them to rest and engage in enjoyable activities. When reaching out, remember that small talk and simple caring expressions can be appropriate. Offer words of encouragement like wishing them a smooth surgery and recognizing their strength. Ask how they wish you to support them and be ready to stand by them through appointments. Ultimately, your presence and encouragement, paired with open and thoughtful communication, can offer the warmth and comfort they need during this challenging time.

What To Do While A Family Member Is In Surgery
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What To Do While A Family Member Is In Surgery?

When a loved one undergoes outpatient surgery, your support is essential. Accompany them to the surgery center and offer to drive them home afterward. It's important to encourage them to rest and take it easy post-surgery, as well as to help them avoid reinjuring themselves. Keeping them entertained and maintaining a positive attitude can ease stress during this time. Respect any hospital rules about cell phone use, and remember that both emotional and physical support are crucial in their recovery.

Be proactive before the surgery by attending pre-surgery appointments with them, which helps prepare for the procedure. Understand and assist with post-surgery care, including medication management and following specific aftercare instructions. Stay informed by communicating with the medical staff and advocating for your loved one’s needs, including providing updates to family members waiting for news. Offer to help with practical tasks, and consider organizing shifts with other family and friends if they need 24/7 support.

Encourage them to gradually increase their activity with short walks, as appropriate. Ultimately, letting your loved one know you are available for emotional support and practical assistance will significantly enhance their recovery experience.


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Freya Gardon

Hi, I’m Freya Gardon, a Collaborative Family Lawyer with nearly a decade of experience at the Brisbane Family Law Centre. Over the years, I’ve embraced diverse roles—from lawyer and content writer to automation bot builder and legal product developer—all while maintaining a fresh and empathetic approach to family law. Currently in my final year of Psychology at the University of Wollongong, I’m excited to blend these skills to assist clients in innovative ways. I’m passionate about working with a team that thinks differently, and I bring that same creativity and sincerity to my blog about family law.

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  • I’m a nurse. We were taught back in college that when talking in front of the patient to always assume the patient can hear you, whether you’re in a coma, knocked out with anesthesia or even deaf. The fact that these licensed surgeons and nurses can’t even follow basic education on patient’s right to considerate and respectful care is a big disappointment.

  • I was in a coma for two weeks, and as I came to I was terrified, disoriented, confused and in pain. I was way too weak to get up or move, and my speech was slurred. I know I was a handful, I remember constantly pressing the call button because I was terrified and didnt understand where I was or why I was there. The nurses in the ICU did not like me when I was like this. they made absolutely no effort to calm me down or reason with me. Instead they moved the call light out of my reach and closed the door and blinds and ignored me unless they had to see me. It was horrible to me and only made me even more terrified. I tried to tell my mom but she insisted I was just hallucinating. Some health care workers are simply cruel. The rotten few overshadow the true Angels.

  • This happened to me when I was in my 20’s in surgery. They were talking together and said I would never remember because of anesthesia. But I heard them bad mouthing me on the table and I remember. You come to these people for help and they stand there judging you. If your a professional act like one.

  • I have worked in the medical field before. I used to think it was a professional and honourable career until I started working with them, but I have never met people that are more disrespectful and entitled. No matter what your work is, if you don’t have the person’s best interest in hand-do not do the job. I’m glad she recorded it, and I hope she sues the crap out of them.

  • When I was 7 year old kid, the doctors insulted me right in front of my poor immigrant mother knowing she couldn’t do anything because the lack of education. I looked at her as she lowered her head with a sad expression. I didn’t know what she was feeling but it must have been devastating feeling powerless to stand up for her kid and with the lack of money and education to change doctors and clinics.

  • As someone who works in oral surgery. In a setting where patients are out 90% of the time. I like to pretend its my Mom or a family member who I am working on. So i treat the patient with the upmost respect and give them the best possible care I can. No matter how difficult or different the patient is. You never know what they are going through

  • Unfortunately as a non medical worker in a hospital I hear things like this all too often. Doctors saying patients are lying about pain or ignoring their concerns. Nurses commenting on people’s appearance. I’ve even heard nurses making fun of women who are making loud noises during birth which is incredibly awful. When you’re in horrible pain the last thing someone taking care of you should do is make fun of you. Working in a hospital ruined my perception of them for me. I don’t trust anyone at face value and I always get a second opinion now.

  • When I had surgery a few years ago I found a surgeon who I felt REALLY comfortable with. I was seeing her for care for a while before, and then ongoing for months after, the surgery and I know she’s the nicest person ever. I was worried because the day of the surgery I found out she’d have another doctor who was doing a fellowship working alongside her and I hadn’t met him before that day. He seemed ok though. Later I saw him for care a couple times for a bit of an emergency when my primary doctor was out of town, and he was a total angel. I feel blessed to have had good people working over me when I’m unconscious, laying there totally vulnerable. But I’d had a bad experience in the past so I knew how important it was to me to find a doctor I was REALLY comfortable with to do my surgery. If I had a single reservation with them, I would have switched doctors. There are some gems out there, just gotta dig.

  • When I was a nursing student in 1991, I witnessed an 18 year old Mom give birth to a perfect little baby girl. However, the medical staff belittled the Mom while she was under anesthesia joking that the doctor should ‘tie her tubes’. I was horrified and made my feelings known. Never will I forget that day.

  • I am a retired ICU nurse that has treated many patients that were in comas and I was always taught that they might be able to hear what I was saying. Indeed that was true because I had a patient tell me that I helped them live through the night because of how kind I talked to them and they heard me pray for them. The patient was intubated and put in a drug induced coma but could hear everything going on!

  • I remember everything from my colonoscopy when I was in high school. (I had some health issues that required the procedure to take place even though I was young.) The light anesthetic they used didn’t knock me out and I basically watched the whole time. I was able to hear everything but I couldn’t really move or talk. They said that this procedure was basically a cattle call and how they thought I was faking it. (Why would a teenager fake something that required a colonoscopy?!) Then they talked about how tired they were and what their kids were wearing for prom. It just went on and on with mean comments about me while I was in such a vulnerable position and with blatant disregard for the dignity of their patient. I was so embarrassed when it was time for me to go home. Today I am a nurse and before I graduated I swore to myself that I would do everything I could to maintain patient privacy, dignity, and respect.

  • When I had attempted to overdose on my antidepressants back when I was 17, I always remember the nurses addressing me at the counter as suicide girl. Given the fact I had just attempted to take my life on purpose – it definitely wasn’t the best thing to hear. I was already hurting and alone … and scared …

  • I had surgery and as I was coming out of anesthetic I heard remarks about me. I was so embarrassed. It is not only operating rooms. My daughter and I were in an ER and heard nurses speaking this way about patients in the ER. It was disgusting! We complained and the managing nurse was fired. But now I see this, it seems as though it is common for this to occur.

  • I was fired from 2 hospitals, worked in 3 separate specialty clinics and the things that most of the staff say about patients behind closed doors would make anyone feel uncomfortable about receiving compassionate care from their doctors office. I may have been late a few times but at least I cared about people.

  • My lovely grandad wet the bed when in hospital with a rare paralysing disease at 87, he told us with his weak voice afterwards that he heard the nurses say “oh god he’s wet himself I’m not cleaning that up”. How horrible, they thought he was asleep but he wasn’t. How can they be so rude to an elderly man who is embarrassed and losing dignity. Shameful.

  • My doctor wouldn’t do anything to figure out why I was in pain. For 10 months she kept giving me different pills to mask the pain. I told her I needed actual tests done and she left the room for a minute. I heard her through a vent telling her co-worker I was a whiney bitch. I left and went to the ER. Told them what happened and they did an ultrasound and sent me for a scope and found out I had a bleeding ulcer. They moved me to a different doctor, thank God.

  • I dunno, pretty much at every job I worked at people talked about customers behind the screen or wherever they couldn’t hear them. If you would secretly put a recorder in any of those places and you’d have the same result. It happens everywhere, I don’t know why it’s suddenly bad when surgeons do it. If you actually think this should be punishable, then boy do you have a LOT of other places to sue as well. And yes, at almost every place they do this as long as they assume the customer doesn’t hear them. Nobody is going to assume someone is going to put a recorder in their extensions just to record this.

  • Dear patients, I am an EMT and have unfortunately heard many comments like this and people talking bad about patients in the field. I wanted to say I’m truly sorry. No one deserves to be bullied and mocked especially in such a vulnerable position. On the other hand I’ve had some great experiences with colleagues who care for you and would do anything to help you. My patients have impacted my life forever and they make me a better person. I think of them often and wonder how they are. Don’t be afraid to stand up to these people or leave when you feel unsafe. They are not above you.

  • People that work in hospitals are mean. I know I worked in one and what they say behind a patients back is discussing. I had to walk away so I didn’t lose it. I called them out but when the boss engaged in the same behavior it didn’t help much. When I have to have a procedure I always tell them I know you are going to say nasty things about me when I am out, just remember I have people that love me so keep them in mind.

  • I remember hearing the nurses making fun of me outside my hospital room after my c section. I had just gone through 30 hours of labor and I was honestly pretty stoked to get this baby out… I was SUPER friendly and said “girl” a lot. They were laughing about it outside later on… it’s lame to be made fun of in really vulnerable moments in your life

  • sure, the things they say may be little bit mean. But they still did the surgery as they should. They are still only people, with their own opinions, with emotions. Or do you expect them to be emotionless and professional even in the moments they think no one sees them? Doctors are one of the most needed professions. :/ You guys sound so ungrateful, what would you do without them?

  • When I worked at the psychiatric hospital, during treatment team rounds, there was a psychiatrist and nurse practitioner who worked together speaking to different patients about their treatment plan. After a patient left the room, they would crack jokes about that patient. This was so appalling and insensitive. The nurse practitioner would always called drug abusers the worse names. These patients were there for help, and the clinical staff had no hope that these people would get better. They really didn’t care. Ironically, that nurse practitioner was fired months later for forging prescriptions for opioids because he had an addiction to them. It lets me know people who carry themselves like this really don’t have morals and you’d be surprise what they are capable of doing when no eyes are perusal.

  • in operating rooms is one thing, it’s when your doctor says something completely off-color to your face that is even more upsetting! I had a re-occurring infection in my tonsils that kept coming back over and over again. I was a single mother, living with and helping take care of my parents and my toddler son. At one point my tonsils had swollen up to the size of golf balls and I was hospitalized to get the swelling down. Two weeks later, they started swelling again and I went into my doctor’s office. He actually asked me, and I quote: “Who’ve you been blowing?” I was so insulted! I was much too busy working two jobs and caring for my parents and my son to even think about being sexual active whatsoever! I reported the incident to the county medical board who brushed it off by saying that I must have misunderstood him. No, I did not! You don’t misunderstand someone when they ask you in that way!

  • I overheard a doctor making fun of my cough when I was a teenager, she was mocking me and the other doctors and nurses were laughing. 😥 It reminded me of mean girls in High School, I couldn’t believe that doctors would do that, I had so much respect for doctors. After that I did not want to go to the doctor because they mocked me when I was very sick.

  • I don’t necessarily care for the comments they made, but why gossip during surgery? Be professional and save that shit for the break room. You should be focused on performing on your patient, instead of being blatantly stupid, no matter the history with that patient beforehand. I thought medical professionals were people of high intelligence…

  • I remember I was at the hospital the day after having my daughter . And I overheard two nurses talking about my birth and it’s complications at the front desk. Sadly I didn’t do anything about it. I just felt really uncomfortable and vulnerable. I felt unsafe, I was suppose to getting help with breastfeeding and I just got up and left the waiting room. That experience still hurts me to this day….

  • The lack of empathy here is astounding. Here’s the thing- it’s not just any person talking shit. It’s a person that you’re trusting your life with. The slightest mistake could have lifelong consequences, and they aren’t focusing on the operation. Instead, they’re beratting this naked and vulnerable person who they’re supposed to be caring for. If they can’t handle doing their job properly without getting their emotions involved in the middle of the operation, maybe they shouldn’t be doctors. EDIT: Turns out the article was actually pretty misleading. The comments were made after the surgery, and the article isn’t real (it was just audio). It was definitely rude, but nothing as serious as I first thought.

  • I have a horrifying story… my mom was a PA and once worked for a plastic surgeon. She said he was talking about a patient’s breasts right after the woman got knocked out and then he squeezed her breasts…. she was unconscious on the operating table. All the nurses in the room were just in shock, but he just laughed. My mom quit shortly after. This kind of stuff actually happens. I still know who he is and everything, not sure if he’s still practicing but I feel like I should report a complaint even though it was 20 years ago.

  • You can all say “well how is this different from talking about customers at x, y, or z”, but it IS different. You’re entirely vulnerable during surgery. You’re naked and unconscious. Having people talk that way about you when you’re in a vulnerable state does hurt, and only increases anxiety for any future surgery or interaction with medical staff.

  • I had a surgery in 8th grade and I remember my doctors were so nice, they asked me what kind of music I liked and put it on for me on a speaker while they talked to me about my preferred music until the Anastasia had me out. Doctors should make you feels safe and good, not insecure like the ones in the article…

  • I’m a retired correctional sgt. I was in the operating room when 2 nurses lifted the unconscious inmate’s gown and laughed, “let’s check his junk”. They quickly left the room when I said, “WTF”. I wrote down the time, description of the nurses, and specifics, then gave the information to the inmate, but he didn’t pursue it.

  • I really don’t get why people chose to make excuses for bad behavior. Yes, a lot of people talk shit about others especially when they aren’t looking. Does that make it right, no? She has the right to feel violated and there are consequences for our actions. You would think adults would know that by now.

  • PSA: THIS IS IN NO WAY EXCUSING THEIR ACTIONS – but always be careful what interactions you have with those responsible to “care” for you. Many people who are allowed to pass their medical schooling and training can still be terrible people and are not screened for any mental illness. Sadly this is the reality in both healthcare and law inforcement. No one is screened, past occurrences are not payed attention to, and people are subsequently mistreated and even murdered. If you have a bad feeling about a healthcare worker or you have a disagreement with them it is best to go elsewhere.

  • Another incident I and my girlfriend experienced was when she fractured her ankle. She was on welfare at the time and we went to the local emergency room. They, in turn, referred us to a local Doctor’s office in the “fancy” part of town. Sitting in the waiting room we could hear the doctor saying to his secretary: ” why do they send THEM here ?” When we went in for treatment he just strapped a Velcro boot around her lower leg/ foot. I said is that a standard thing you do ? Doesn’t she need a cast ? Man was he pissed at me. I continued to say: we didn’t ASK to come here, the hospital TOLD us to come here. If you don’t want to treat people with Medicaid in your office you should tell the hospital. I thought “you guys” took an oath to take care of a person no matter their position in society ? He said: ” we’re DONE here, feel free to leave at your earliest convenience.” I filed a complaint with the state professional medical ethics board and the AMA.

  • I was married to a doc and socialised with his medical friends. They do indeed talk about the physical attributes of patients they see and can be very insulting generally. I will say they never mentioned names in front of me but the way they described these patients was disturbing and has made me wary of medical professionals since then.

  • Back around 2000, I had to work an emergency room for 2 or 3 weeks in order to become a licensed EMT. That’s when I learned how horrible medical workers could be towards patients. It’s huge incentive for me to be safe, stay healthy and not ever have to be at the mercy of the animals who work in hospitals.

  • My niece is a junior doc in Cleveland. She saw a doctor in surgery act very aggressively in attaching a tube down a patient’s throat, which ruptured her windpipe. The lady now struggles to talk. Post surgery, the doctor made up a heap of lies about why it happened, pinning blame on the risky surgery. It had nothing to do with it. He did not care about the lady as she was AA and he brought his prejudice and contempt into the treatment room. I would advise everyone to record.

  • I had two surgeries and I know it is always a good idea to treat your surgeon with the utmost respect. I always smiles and make jokes to make them laugh. Always remember to say please and thank you to the nurses. You want to have a pleasant stay at the hospital. Treat them nice and they will treat you nice because at the end we are all people.

  • I had something similar like this happen to me 21 years ago when I had my daughter as the doctors thought I was under anesthesia laughing about how I was still wearing a bra and bebating over who was going to remove it like they didn’t want to touch me, THEY WERE PREFORMING A C-section! So imagine how I felt when I did come to I signed myself out of that hospital AMA 2days after giving birth because I didn’t feel safe, I’m happy my aunt who’s a NP came to look after me! I currently work in a hospital NOW and alllll ima say is the things I hear coming outta the mouths of people who are suppose to be medical professionals sound like high school kids smh it’s appalling and degrading and it definitely messes with your mind because they are talking this crap during a vulnerable situation where you have NO control and often are being cut open!! It’s horrible and she should sue I wish I did, maybe next time they my think befor they speaks

  • A wise man told me once: “Always do every business as if you were being recorded by the CCTV. Do and speak as if you had been given an opportunity to watch the footage yourself.” Since I put this into practice of my everyday life, it worked miracles, which changed my life 180 degrees and I’m on a different pathway ever since. I’d highly recommend it. ❤

  • People who act like they’re entitled to everything are the worst 😂. She threatened to get a lawyer involved because they couldn’t schedule her appointment on the date that she desired.. they’re doctors, they have other patients and surgeries to deal with. She’s talking like she’s the only patient they deal with lmfao. And can I ask why she chose to put a microphone in her hair? What was the purpose? If she had the feeling they were going to talk shit about her, that should be a wake up call on her part. You can’t talk to people like they’re below you and then get all dramatic when they say something back. And what they said wasn’t “racially profiling” you.. I believe it was a remark made towards your weight rather than your race. At least they did the surgery correctly and you came out fine, only to bitch about what they said about you when you were under.

  • I worked as a custodian in an OR for two years and trust me, this is a daily occurrence for almost every patient. Doctors and staff make fun of patient’s bodies, tattoos and figures. One time the Nurses even had a “measuring contest” for all the male patients. It’s deplorable. I’m so glad I left there.

  • On a purely professional level: such comments are of no importance as long as they don’t interfere with the actual surgery, however morally deprecable they may be; the patient is asleep and won’t hear them (hopefully), that’s basically a private talk. The problem is not the words per se… but the fact they prove a lack of compassion. I wouldn’t get hurt by those nasty comments; but I’d be scared as hell to put my life in the hands of someone who doesn’t really care for my wellbeing.

  • Police officers are exactly the same. These “professionals” all take an oath but have no respect for civilians or patients. In the movies, you see the surgeons working on a patient while listening to classical music, which seems like a good idea. Sometimes, they are having a conversation, but not about the patient, and if they are, they are never depicted as making disparaging remarks. Maybe they should have soothing music playing in the background and only focus on carrying out the surgery. The operating table is certainly not the place to socialise or make jokes. It is a matter of life or death after all. That patient should sue. She’d be a fool if she doesn’t. Looks like doctors and nurses need to be monitored just like the police are with the body cams. There needs to be CCTV in the operating theatre.

  • I think it’s time to stop thinking of health care professionals as saints. They’re workers. They’re ordinary people doing a job. I have cancer and I’ve had to rely on dozens and dozens of doctors, nurses, hospital administrators, technicians, social workers and other health care workers. Most of them have been excellent, a few have been truly caring and sympathetic, others have been time-card punchers. This is the way it is in every profession under the sun. I believe that, because of COVID, we tend to think of health care people as living on a higher plane of reality. Ain’t so.

  • I do not understand most of the comments on here. I graduated medschool and assisted in so many ORs… Never once did I hear any of the residents or surgeons make comments about a patient being operated on in such manner. Never! I am actually shocked to see this… I was not trained that way nor ever witnessed my seniors behave in such an unprofessional decorum. Either the people I worked with were exemplary, or this is abnormal and cannot just be excused. Whether it is worth suing over, is not the issue. The issue here is how the comments here are just excusing it as normal conduct. 😮

  • I worked in a hospital OR for over 10 years, and I can tell you for a fact that despite saving lives and being good at it, SOME doctors/surgeons are some of the worst human beings you will ever encounter. I’ve seen doctors launch instruments across the room and even at the surgical techs when an instrument breaks.

  • I was a scrub nurse for 30 years and I can tell you that nothing like this was ever, ever tolerated in any of the thousands of surgeries I personally took part in. That kind of thing is rigorously governed in a reputable O.R., either big hospitals or small office O.R. It is the job of everyone there and especially the circulating nurse to keep this kind of thing to zero tolerance for the patient’s safety and dignity. In my long career I only once heard a medical student make a disparaging remark about an anesthetized patient and he was thrown out of the room immediately, never to return. Every person in an OR case is responsible for that patient’s life, care and outcome. This is someone’s mother, father, brother, sister, loved one on your table and they are helpless at that moment. Patient care is rigorously done by the book and dignity is always paramount. Some patients appear anesthetized but can still hear. It happens. I had patients who remember hearing talk in the OR but were mostly asleep.This article outrages me for this patient and my profession. Disgusting and disgraceful behavior from the people she trusted and had to rely on for her safety and comfort. Maybe its different today, but people need to research the doctors they go to.

  • A doctor last year said about my dying mother in front of me (then 15 years old) that she doesn’t care about her (mom) and her family and that she is done with her. After she died they left her… Without any professional steps to make sure she’s actually dead. It breaks my heart, because my mom was a doctor too and she used to put so much love in her job. Not only this one doctors but many others, through my life I’ve been through so many stuff that made me hate doctors sooooo much

  • I don’t live in the States but something like this happened to me. I had my first and only surgery a few years ago when I was 18, when I woke up from the anesthesia I had a meltdown (and that is a very normal reaction), the nurses kept laughing at me and making jokes about me crying, I was in so much pain (from the surgery) I cried for several minutes, and I have never felt more disrespected in my life.

  • I think people need to lighten up. What are they supposed to stay quiet during surgery that could take hours? They can joke around and talk shit just like anyone else can. If you think your hairdresser or the kid in the drive thru has never talked shit about anyone, you’d be surprised. Im an emergency responder, and we all got a dark sense of humor and no filter. Seriously people are too soft these days.

  • Newsflash! This happens all the time. Most medical staff hates the public and we don’t want to be there. We go into this wanting to help people but the reality is that the public is hostile, unreasonable, and ungrateful. And almost everyone in the hospital is there because their conditions are self inflicted. In other words, you deserve to be sick.

  • When you work for doctors you know they see themselves above everyone. I worked for a doctor that would smile in the patients face and have them swoon and as soon as she rounded the corner the smile would disappear and you’d hear what she really thought of them, like “ugh she’s a bitch, ugh another Chinese patient” I’ve yet to meet a doctor with a balanced ego.

  • I believe that there have been studies showing that when surgeons and their surgical teams make negative comments about patients (including negative comments about their prognosis) during surgeries, it can affect patients’ post-op mental state. Even when people are under general anesthesia, in a coma, etc., they can sense the negativity even though they won’t remember it on a conscious level later.

  • Now I appreciate how respectful the staff in our hospital are. I just transferred in OR, as a nurse, but I am very proud how British people work. They are compassionate and respectful to patients. I never hear anybody saying mean comments about patient in theatre, under GA or not. Yeah, we do chit chat but never regarding patient. Please review your codes brothers and sisters.

  • Three people you should never piss off in life: 1. The person who brings you your food. 2. The person who giving you money (your paycheck, benefit office worker, someone who owes you). 3. Probably most importantly, the person who holds your life in their hands (parents, someone with a gun or as in this case a health care professional). I work with doctors and I can tell you this is not uncommon, however no doctor wants a malpractice suite on their record, so they will do their very best job when working on a particularly difficult patient. What this woman didn’t explain is if she distrust the doctor so much that she took to recording him secretly while he was doing surgery on her, then why let him touch her in the first place? On the recording the doc even says they had a heated discussion prior to surgery. She was obviously looking for trouble and now she’s going to cry all the way to her lawyer’s office. No surprise there.

  • I was in the twilight zone between the anesthesia “sleep” and waking and heard the doctor and assistant making comments about me. I probably should have confronted the assistant later when I was in the recovery room and she was acting soooo nice to me, but I didn’t have the energy. It’s very distressing to know that the people who are caring for you don’t really care enough to respect you when you are most vulnerable.

  • As a scrub tech, I often hear surgeons making snarky comments like this and it just makes me physically sick. Sadly I’m just a student so I can’t tell them to stop and them actually take me seriously. I’ll never talk poorly about my patients. They trusted us to come into the OR and put them under Anesthesia, y can’t we be decent human beings and just do our job.?

  • Happened to me once. I was surrounded by my doctor and medicine students perusal a procedure in order to create a prosthetic I needed back then before going to surgery (I have poland syndrome), and those students were disgusting, plus my doctor didn’t call their attention. One of these students said to me between laughs Have you ever thanked your parents for making you so deformed? but she didn’t know my father died a few years before and that I was dealing with depression due to my poland syndrome. After that I went into a deeper depression and even tried to take my own life.

  • I was working as a dental assistant once when a surgeon came to our office for a day to work on special cases. He needed two assistants but could only bring one so I helped out. I was absolutely appalled after we completed a teenage boy’s wisdom teeth extractions at the level of rude roughness the other assistant exhibited over this boy. She spoke loudly and rudely at him while he was waking up from anesthesia, and when he wouldn’t do it fast enough, she got an irritated look on her face and she pinched his muscle above his shoulder, toward the base of his neck in the back. It would hurt and even though it has been years, sometimes I still wonder if he woke up with a bruise there. I was shocked, and I still wish I would have reported her. I felt that he was inna vulnerable position and needed to rest until he felt okay enough to get up. Apparently not. And I remember the assistant in my own wisdom teeth surgery (different staff) being pretty dismissive and rude to me as well, especially when I asked for my parent to come be with me. It is scary when it seems like care staff can’t be trusted.

  • A friend is undecided to do a severe surgery. Said his doctor keeps begging him to set a surgery date/ cost 84,000. Said doctor recently told him that she will provide people who had same surgery. Wonder if he agrees what would be the conversation in the operating room from his doctor” I got you now”

  • Some doctors/nurses treat patients like animals. It doesn’t cost them a cent to be kind to patients. I’ve seen the worst in my country, in Sri lanka. I hope Karma will treat them right! edit- This comment is not about the nice healthcare workers. Thank you for your service and for being kind to patients. Your kindness means so much to them.

  • It never ceases to amaze me as I go through life how incredibly immature people who are highly educated or are in important positions can be. It doesn’t matter what level you attain, it’s all another version of junior high school. Doctors, lawyers, politicians, receptionists, garbage collectors, it’s all the same petty, immature BS.

  • I remember my mom telling her experience. It was when she was receiving anesthesia. She was held by the nurses because she was moving a lot, and moving a lot might break the needle and cause problems. At that time, she was moving a lot because she was so frustrated and uneasy of how the doctors were only talking behind an anothee doctor and badmouthing them. As a student nurse, I remembered that we were taught to make sure that the patient comfortable at all times. Hence, they should avoid negative topics. However, they did not apply this teaching, I am disappointed.

  • I’m a nurse and sadly doctors, nurses, and some other healthcare “professionals” do this all the time. There are some that are very compassionate and professional at all times but many are not. You can tell a good doctor, nurse etc, by the way they treat and talk about the patient when they are unable to speak for themselves.

  • I am glad this is finally coming to light how doctors and OR staff really talk about us when they don’t think we can “hear” them. I have begun to watch what I say about others, even to my husband, because, you know what? It doesn’t pay to be nasty, cruel and mean about others you know nothing about.

  • I woke up during a surgery on my right hand, there was no talking until I started saying what is that smell and the Dr looked over at me And then called for the antithesis to come sedate me and I heard him saying oh yeah her eyes are open and she is AWAKE and then I said yep I’m awake thank GOD I can only smell and I’m numb 😮😮😮 and I reminded him two weeks later and he said you remember that? Yep I was AWAKE 😂

  • My best friend was on duty as a nurse in college, and she would tell me horrible stories about the doctors at the hospital she was working at. She mentioned how doctors would make disgusting comments and harass the patient while they were asleep. It was crazy. The nurses couldn’t do anything, and those who didn’t like what was happening would just ignore it or try to laugh it off. She told me to never go to that hospital if I ever need surgery because they would touch me if I was unconscious on the table.

  • As a retired hospital nurse, I can say, rude comments are sometimes made by Drs and nurses about patients. A Dr, after seeing a patient, came to the nurses station and said ” there’s no trash like white trash”, referring to his patient . I was shocked, but not brave enough to call him out. He had a very busy surgical practice and made lots of money for the hospital.

  • I had a surgery to fix PHN nerve pain, in June of 2023, in Papillion/NE. Two days before the surgery, I was told to expect 1.5 hour surgery and a small incision – instead I ended up with 10″ incision into my left hip and I was 6 hours under Ketamine anesthesia. I came out of the surgery bruised in different parts of my body – as if someone dropped me, or outright abused me. The surgeon didn’t bother to talk to me either before the surgery or after the surgery, but the surgical team took pictures of me during the surgery without my consent. When I woke up after six hours, only the prep nurse was present. She didn’t ask me how I was doing. Instead, she said, quote “Oh, you’ll be in pain while peeing, they stuck a catheter in you”. And then she said: “get dressed, you have to leave now”. I wonder, how many nurses, surgeons or doctors get into the profession, since it’s an easy and especially during surgery, an anonymous way to abuse others. Now the Papillion/NE surgical team doesn’t want to disclose who was in the surgical room during my operation, and what’s their policy on taking pictures of unconscious people without those consent.

  • ISN’T it risky for the patients to bring tech devices, INTO the operating room, with surgical tech devices? Did the patient plan to sue the doctors? ISN’T it risky for the doctors to talk during the surgery? The hospital should do both: to record all surgeries and to make sure the patients don’t bring their tech devices, into the operating room.

  • I recently just had spinal surgery about a few weeks ago. This makes me really think what was said about me while I was under anesthesia!!!! No one should ever have to go through this or ever have to think about the people we are trusting with putting life’s and health their hands!! This is sickening!!!!

  • She obviously knew they were going to bad mouth her after the way she acted. That’s why she hid the recorder in the 1st place. Why does she think she can act like a total bitch, but it suprised when a group of people don’t like her bc of it? She’s just looking to score a lawsuit. Probably planned the whole thing as a long con.

  • Let’s be real here, she was a piece of garbage. Of course she’s looking for a lawsuit, that’s what she said she was looking for BEFORE the surgery. Yeah, they talked some shit about her, but they still did a good job. I don’t care who you think you are, but treating the person who’s going to do your surgery like crap is ridiculously stupid and risky.

  • Seems like some people here think that rude comments means unsatisfactory work. That is not true. If I’m frustrated with an engine I’m working on, I might say some bad things about it, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be treating it with the utmost care and attention. In fact, sometimes getting something off your chest, including frustration, can actually help you perform better, with increased concentration. I see nothing wrong with what the doctors said. They did their job, and they weren’t being rude directly to her conscious face. She obviously had a hidden motive for recording them in the first place.

  • If the hospital’s response to recording is anything other than ‘OK’, then it means they do something they want to hide during operations. If all doctors are refusing in unison, then it means they are collectively unionizing to defend criminal/shady practices by some of them during operations. There is no other possible explanation. Places of much less merit for recording have CCTV, even for “trivial” business places. Given the stakes, it is completely unreasonable to not record operations.

  • This was very unprofessional and the comments that were being made in the OR is unacceptable. As a nurse of 15 years who has endured being spit at, threatened, and cussed out by patients in the ER, it is natural to vent to our colleagues. It’s the only way to stay sane. The difference is I vent when there are no patients around or when I need advice from a co-worker. It’s usually after I’m cussed out over something I have no control over. I was shocked that this lady threatened to sue the doctor for not getting her into surgery in two weeks. There are longer wait times for procedures and surgeries because people are living longer, developing complex medical conditions, and lots of nurses and medical providers are leaving medicine due to stress. A patient told me today the soonest she could get in to have her knee replacement surgery was in 3 months. She had called every orthopedic surgeon around town. The reality is that wait times will continue to increase due to high health utilization and not enough resources to meet the demand.

  • This has nothing to do with doctors but dentist are also very much like this I told my dentist plenty of times that my body is a little resistant to that knockout drug they use before they mess around in your mouth for a wisdom tooth I had two so I told them to please see if they could use either something stronger or a different one they said they couldn’t and proceeded with taking out my too wisdom teeth sadly I was half awake and could hear them making fun of me and calling me a comic book nerd for thinking anyone could resist the drug even slightly don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean but I def gave them a piece of my mind after and repeated everything they said during that time

  • It is absolutely disgusting that the hospital management will not investigate & punish this team of unprofessional caregivers who are clearly biased as they are retaliatory towards this patient because of a previous interaction she had with them that led them to hold grudges while operating on the patient as evidenced in their disrespectful and derogatory comments about the patient and her body. It’s sickening to think that the female nurse present is also participating in degrading another woman’s body!! The media should continue to put pressure on the hospital management who condone this hateful and disrespectful behavior from the healthcare workers they employ. Where is their Bias training? I would NOT go to this hospital for any reason! I believe this team would deliberately hurt patients or any person who rubs them wrong because of this incident! Shame on The Hospital & this team, this sickening!! This Dr is supposed to be guided by the Hippocratic oath “to do no harm” and he is EXACTLY doing Harm! Please report this entire team to the licensing Board!! As the Doctor himself said it “imagine you (patient) talk to the one who is doing your surgery like that” So he is intimating he could purposefully snip something in the patient, as retaliation, judging from his statement 😡

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