Identify cues that signal oncoming nosiness and learn effective strategies to gracefully handle nosy relatives and their intrusive questions. Transform awkward moments into opportunities for empowerment by having a plan and focusing on who you are and what you can do to deal with difficult family members.
Dr. Cassiday’s suggestions for handling nosy relatives include having a plan, being truthful, being ready, confident, humor, switching the topic, and not taking it personally. Stand up to them respectfully and use humor to make your point. If you feel insecure, politely decline. Navigating nosy relatives requires a blend of tact, humor, and sincerity. Remember, you are in control of what you share.
- Don’t give them every detail of information. If they inquire about where you’re going to lunch, give a general area like, “Down to the mall”. Ignore resulting awkwardness or their potentially negative reactions. Eventually, they will learn. Do not fight back though. Just drip feed the person and don’t look back, even when relatives call out to return to the straight and narrow.
- Focus on who you are and what you can do to deal with difficult family members as your ultimate strategy. If you feel hopeless or helpless about your family problems, seek help from a professional counselor or therapist.
In summary, dealing with nosy relatives involves understanding their cues, being truthful, being prepared, confident, humor, switching topics, and not taking it personally. By following these strategies, you can effectively manage nosy relatives and transform awkward moments into opportunities for empowerment.
| Article | Description | Site |
|---|---|---|
| How to deal with nosy controlling relatives | Start by ignoring them. Block them on your phone email and social media. Do not share anything personal financial or professional with them. If … | quora.com |
| How to handle nosy relatives | Discover effective strategies to gracefully handle nosy relatives and their intrusive questions. Transform awkward moments into opportunities for empowerment. | transformhappily.com |
| How to Respond to Intrusive Questions From Friends and … | If you want, share with them what is important right now. If you don’t want to share, politely request to move on.” | mywellbeing.com |
📹 How To Gracefully Answer Nosy Questions
I’m sharing a few ways to gracefully answer questions when people are being nosy and intrusive. Watch more classy lifestyle …
What Is The Psychology Of A Nosy Person?
Nosiness stems from various psychological factors, primarily rooted in insecurity and a longing for social connection. People who exhibit nosy behavior often intrude on others’ privacy, driven by excessive curiosity and a need for validation. This behavior can manifest through prying questions, gossiping, or eavesdropping. Such individuals might not recognize the discomfort their actions cause, as they may lack empathy and struggle with personal boundaries.
When confronted with nosy inquiries, individuals frequently fabricate responses to maintain a façade, leading to further pretense. This lack of self-awareness can perpetuate a cycle of nosiness, as those affected may also feel exposed or anxious after sharing personal information. The desire to invade others' privacy is often accompanied by a need for social connection, as humans naturally seek interpersonal relationships.
Recognizing one’s own nosy tendencies can prompt self-awareness and change. Setting boundaries in conversations or directly questioning the nosy behavior can be effective strategies. Ultimately, understanding the motivations behind nosiness can help both the nosy individuals and those who encounter them navigate these complex social dynamics with greater empathy and awareness.
Should You Avoid A Nosey Person?
Dealing with nosy individuals can be challenging, particularly when avoidance isn't an option. To protect your privacy, it's crucial to set clear boundaries. Politely declining to answer intrusive questions or redirecting the conversation can help. Limiting contact with nosy people and refraining from sharing personal details is also effective. Prepare for nosy encounters by identifying signs of curiosity and maintaining composure—remember, act instead of react.
If confronted, assert your discomfort directly, using a polite but firm tone. Discussing concerns with neighbors can also establish boundaries. Nosy behavior often arises from an underlying need for control and information. Key strategies for handling nosy individuals include: 1) Not lying, as this may provoke increased scrutiny; 2) Recognizing cues that indicate potential nosiness; 3) Determining what constitutes a "nosy" question; and 4) Trusting your instincts when deciding whether to respond.
Ultimately, nosy behavior can be detrimental not only to you but also to others in your circle. Remember to stay calm, refuse to engage in defensiveness, and maintain respect while asserting your need for space.
Why Is It So Difficult To Deal With A Nosy Family Member?
Dealing with nosy family members and friends can be challenging. While you may want to avoid hurting their feelings, it's essential to maintain your privacy and set boundaries. Difficult relationships can strain familial ties, making it tough to navigate interactions without conflict. Instead of trying to change the difficult person, accept them as they are, focusing on how to manage your own responses. If you feel overwhelmed, seeking professional help from a counselor or therapist can provide support.
Understanding your family's dynamics is crucial. To handle nosy relatives, it’s wise to anticipate potentially awkward topics and prepare your responses in advance. Remember to respect both your own boundaries and those of others, avoiding intrusive questions yourself.
Empathy towards difficult family members can promote understanding. Establishing clear boundaries can make interactions more manageable. It's common to experience mixed emotions towards a toxic relative, making it hard to sever ties.
When faced with prying questions, trust your instincts. If you prefer not to answer, it’s perfectly acceptable to redirect the conversation or respond humorously. Ultimately, fostering a balance between expressing sincerity and protecting your privacy is key to mitigating discomfort in familial interactions. Everyone encounters difficult family members, but with the right strategies, you can navigate these situations more effectively.
How Do You Deal With Intrusive Family Members?
Coping with toxic family members can be challenging and requires strategic approaches. First, set clear boundaries. This is essential, even if it’s difficult due to family gatherings. Limit your contact to reduce exposure to toxic behavior. Avoid engaging in negative interactions and focus on creating a solid support system with friends or chosen family. It’s crucial to be transparent about your boundaries, recognizing that toxic individuals may try to blame others for their issues.
Accept them for who they are, rather than trying to change them. Identifying toxic patterns is key; manipulation, blame, and lying are common traits. Responses should be controlled; focus on calm interactions and avoid emotionally charged confrontations. If necessary, a time-out from the relationship can be beneficial. Remind yourself that while you can't control their behavior, you can control your response. Healthy communication and assertiveness are vital when dealing with intrusive relatives.
Always be prepared for conversations; practice what you want to say beforehand. Ultimately, prioritizing your mental and emotional well-being is crucial, and if necessary, consider cutting off contact completely to safeguard your health.
Can You Avoid Nosy People?
Dealing with nosy people can be challenging, especially in unavoidable situations like workplaces or family gatherings. To maintain your privacy, it’s crucial to talk less with them. Respecting boundaries is key; avoid intrusive questions, snooping, or gossiping about others. Recognizing cues that indicate nosiness helps in managing interactions effectively. When faced with personal questions, it's acceptable to express discomfort or change the subject.
To thwart nosy behavior at home, secure your belongings with locks or padlocks to keep them out of reach. Setting clear boundaries and addressing intrusive inquiries directly can help you reclaim control during conversations. People may be nosy out of curiosity, but that doesn't justify crossing personal lines. Crafting polite yet firm responses, using humor, and practicing assertiveness can effectively reduce unwanted probing. If someone persists, answer evasively or ask why they are interested.
Ultimately, protect your emotional well-being by limiting exposure to those who pry. Trust your instincts; if you're uncomfortable, honor that feeling. Simple actions can foster healthy boundaries and safeguard your privacy from nosy individuals.
How To Shut Down Nosy People?
To effectively deal with nosy individuals, it's crucial to set clear boundaries while remaining polite yet firm. If someone asks intrusive questions, consider employing various strategies such as deflecting or diverting the conversation and using humor to make light of the situation. The Broken Record Technique can also be beneficial; consistently repeating your need for privacy may help reinforce your message.
It’s essential to provide minimal information in response to prying inquiries. Changing the subject can redirect attention away from uncomfortable topics, and seeking support from trusted friends can offer additional reinforcement.
When confronted with nosy questions, assertiveness is key. Utilize "I" statements to express your discomfort without being rude. It’s normal to feel exposed, so preparing responses in advance will ease the situation. Recognize when personal inquiries arise and practice ignoring or countering them with a question of your own, such as "Is there a reason you ask?" Remember, everyone deserves privacy, and you shouldn’t feel obligated to share personal details if you're uncomfortable. Balance politeness with asserting your boundaries to maintain your emotional well-being in social interactions.
How Do You Shut Down A Nosy Person?
To effectively shut down a nosy person, it’s essential to set clear boundaries and protect your privacy. Begin by asserting your limits politely; you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your personal life. When faced with intrusive questions, you can deflect them using humor or redirect the conversation to a different topic. Offering vague or minimal information also helps to safeguard your privacy. The "Why do you ask?" technique is useful for turning the questions back on them, prompting the nosy individual to reflect on their inquiries.
Additionally, practice the "broken record" technique: consistently restate your disinterest in discussing certain topics without engaging further. Always maintain a polite demeanor, but make it clear that you're not obligated to respond. Nonverbal cues, such as body language and eye contact, also play a significant role in communicating your boundaries.
When boundaries are routinely tested, consider limiting contact with persistent nosy individuals. If a direct confrontation is necessary, calmly express your discomfort with their probing inquiries. Remember, it's important to respond without reacting overly emotionally, as this displays confidence and can deter further nosiness. By employing these strategies, you can effectively manage intrusive questions and maintain your personal space.
How Do You Deal With A Nosey Person?
Dealing with nosy individuals can be challenging but manageable with effective strategies. When confronted with intrusive questions, it's essential to maintain your privacy by providing minimal information. Trust your instincts—if you feel uncomfortable, don’t hesitate to seek support from a parent, boss, or friend when the nosy person is not present. Recognize cues that indicate a forthcoming invasion of your privacy and respond appropriately without reacting negatively.
Techniques such as being vague and noncommittal, employing humor, and firmly setting boundaries can be effective. Politely decline to answer or redirect the conversation to a neutral topic. It's crucial to assert your comfort levels and protect sensitive information about yourself and your loved ones. Remember to be brief in your responses, focusing on generalities rather than specifics. Using assertive strategies like "I" statements can help communicate your discomfort without being rude. Overall, the goal is to be polite yet firm, ensuring a respectful distance from intrusive conversations, allowing you to preserve your peace of mind and privacy effectively.
How Do You Deal With A Nosy Question?
Dealing with nosy questions can be challenging, but there are strategies to navigate these situations effectively. It's essential to prepare answers in advance for common intrusive inquiries and to engage in self-reflection before responding. Clinical psychologist Adia Gooden advises tuning into your feelings about a question and responding thoughtfully rather than reactively. Whether posed by family, friends, or strangers, nosy questions do not require you to answer truthfully or in detail.
Implementing techniques to deflect such inquiries can help maintain your privacy without causing offense. Some effective responses include vague answers, humor, or redirecting the conversation back to the asker. Key strategies include noticing cues that suggest someone may become nosy, using "I" statements to express your feelings, and calmly stating, "I’d rather not talk about it" if necessary. Additionally, practicing these responses can enhance your confidence in dealing with intrusive questions. Ultimately, it's about setting boundaries while engaging in respectful communication.
📹 How to take your power back with nosy family members this Thanksgiving!🦃🍁 #communicationtips #commun
How to take your power back with nosy family members this Thanksgiving! #communicationtips #communicationskills …
I’m astonished at how comfortable people feel asking nosy questions. When I got engaged, clients at my old job would ask me what my fiancé does for work before asking for my name! They didn’t even bother to know my name but they wanted to know his occupation?! I’m at a new job and this article comes in handy. People can be so nosy! Thanks a bunch for this article <3
Its also quite annoying when you politely decline to answer someone’s intrusive questions and they become defensive and say that they don’t think its a big deal, that they shared their age/finances/other personal information with you (even though you didn’t ask) or with other “all the time” as though you are now obligated to reciprocate their oversharing!
If anyone remembers how Clair Huxtable was on the Cosby show…she is literally the type of woman that is a lady that answers questions like this gracefully with that “look”. But really you don’t have to explain yourself with people. Just ask them, “Is that really any of your business?” And leave it at that. I never cared to tell my age because I look younger than I am but I have learned that people prejudge you based on that so I have learned to be exclusive with certain people whom I give my age to.
There’s nothing worse than nosey questions! My most recent bad experience was actually at a Lord & Taylor near me- what started as light banter turned into a barrage of nosey questions. I tried to gracefully fend them off but she was determined. And then she started talking about her own personal life and insulting her daughter. It was shocking. I wish I had had your advice then! I was mostly just standing in shock that a stranger could be so intrusive!
A great article!!! I’m always surprised when friends ask about personal finances!!! It’s very intrusive, and adds zero to the friendship. Generally, these kinds of open ended questions are being used to form some kind of opinion, either good or bad judgment about the individual. Yet these questions can be tricky to dodge without appearing as rude, dismissive and possibly damaging to the friendship, especially with people you’ve known a long time. EXAMPLE: “How did you afford that…(fill in the blank).” I’ll try your humor approach and be a lady when others aren’t.
I agree, great article! I needed guidance on this topic. The amount of rude questions I’ve been asked about my relationship is unbelievable! Just because I’m giving you a drink doesn’t mean I owe you anything. I’ve noticed because I am in my 20s everyone who is older are so nosy and they seem to think that because I’m young I have to answer all their questions. 🙄🙄👿
I feel compelled to comment. This article was so very helpful – thank you so much. I been recently doing a lot of back and forth communication with friends on media and one individual keeps getting nosy with financial questions. I already mentioned that my husband doesn’t want me discussing these things but they continue to pry. Your suggestions and sample responses are perfect.
A woman invited me to sit at her table in Church’s Chicken. Because she was good looking (skin deep) and a compatriot, my judgement became so skewed, I ended up answering her interrogations and put downs one after another. I ended up feeling like I raped myself when I get to part from her. Her very first question was “are you already on your menopause? you couldn’t possibly still be getting them?” I was 43 years old. I seem to have a weak spot for females behaving badly. I just can’t seem to get my spins in a role whenever a female attacks me. I really need to have exposed myself to articles like this long long long time ago. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
What a great topic ! I’m not comfortable with white lies or trying to change the subject (although this last option is pretty cute and charming). I need clear communication. So do you think it is possible to be a Lady and straight-forward in a gentle way in the same time ? Like for instance : ” Oh It’s not against you but I’m a pretty secretive person, at least on certain subjects, I keep those kinds of personal informations private.”
I’m struggling with this, I’ve realised my friends are incredibly nosy. They have asked me: if the house I live in is a rental or my own, how much I spend on rent, who gave me my new phone? Did my husband give me the phone as a gift? If we bought a new car? did we buy it new or second hand? Did we sell the old car? Did we buy our thermomix? I said, it was a wedding gift and my friend still asked who gave it to us ??? It’s just becoming too much I don’t even realise how much they’re prying until it’s too late. I think they’re being nice trying to ask questions about me and how I’m doing, then I realise the whole conversation is just them asking me a bunch of questions so I turn the topic back on them and ask questions about them but they somehow always redirect it back to me.
I have a tendency to over explain even though I don’t want to. I recently became a single mother again. People often voice assumptions that I’m on welfare. While it is false, that isn’t the point. Even if people are well meaning it is so uncomfortable. People often express pity and ask very personal questions.
Well to be honest I don’t mind when I get asked how old I am because in my opinion, age is just a number as long as no one discriminates against it but I get people saying things like: I think you should stop wearing long dresses now because you’re getting too old now! Or: You look a bit old when you wear these two colours! And that really upsets me because they’re making fun of what I wear and they get excessively jealous because I get the most compliments and get the nicest gifts given to me.
great article, thanks. How to answer when my colleague keeps asking where did you go on the weekend, what did you do, with whom, what time? I dont want to answer those questions as I reckon that is unnecessary. Please advise how to answer this without hurting her feeling as we work at the same office. Thanks heaps!!
I do not agree that the technique you described to be helpful, supportive, or empowering. As a recovering co-dependent and people pleaser I have used and witnessed the approach you mention. I have found that truth and honesty spoken clearly and directly to be the best way to approach these kinds of awkward situations. When we speak our truth directly, saying “I don’t feel comfortable answering that question. Or “Honestly, that is none of your business. Or answer with another question, “how is this matter your concern?” We take responsibility for our part in the co-creation of the conversation and reclaim our personal power and freedom, thereby, encouraging others to do the same. I admire direct assertive communication. As difficult as it can be sometimes, it is admirable and encourages others to speak truth also. When we give “wishy washy” responses then dodge or change the subject, we are passively allowing others to push our boundaries. As women, ladies, and GODDESSES in training, it is important to model and demonstrate assertive and honest communication. This empowers ourselves, and encourages others to empower themselves and be honest also. That is my truth from my experience. Take it or leave it.
I was in a Dermatologist’s office waiting to be seen for a preventative annual sun damage-skin cancer exam.. A very “rough” looking woman sitting across from me asked loudly – “You have nice skin, what are you seeing the doctor for?” I was speechless. As an afterthought I wish I had said something like I have anal warts! More sneaking people try to slip in the old What year did you graduate from high school as a devious means of calculating age.
After reading all those comments if asked a question (doesn’t matter what type of question whether personal or financial) just say this : stay silent at first then say ‘ when I’m ready to talk about that I’ll make sure and get back to you ‘ . Works like a piece of cake guaranteed! It’s polite without being polite,they get the point and they’ll think twice before they ask you something again!
Interesting. I have heard of many nosy questions but I didn’t know that “Where did you get that” can be nosy. Usually it’s asked after complimenting and I believe they just want to find the same product. Though it might be a big deal for those who don’t want to share the clothing (e.g. wearing the same dress at a formal event), I think as adult we’re more capable of just wearing any style.. right? An alternative is what if they kept asking about different clothing because you see them? Gracious is the key but I’m sure they’d start to feel awkward and upset, and wonder why it’s a big deal. I know a lot of people who share clothing to get different styles and it’s a norm around some friends.
My issue is with a rather controlling friend of mine. She has me do things for her and reminds me that she asks me because she likes me better than all her other friends (yet during the weekends, she’s off having fun with them). So, when she asks me if we could get together to do something I really don’t want to do, I’ll make up a lie and say, “Aw no I can’t.” and she asks why. So I’ll make up something, “I’ll be at the gym at that time.” Then she says, “Oh, well…….can’t you just……go..to..the..gym..later?” in a condescending voice talking slowly that makes me sound like a dumbass for not realizing the solution myself.
As a Spanish lady of my generation, I am very short compared to Brits. I currently live in the U.K. and I lived in Germany and Holland before . People who haven’t even said good morning to me often ask how tall I am . I once answered : possibly as big as your brain 😂. Not very lady like but that was really out of context . Next time I will answer : I will tell you when you dare approaching an overweight person in the street and ask them how much they weight ! Another horrible question since I am 51, is being asked whether I still have periods . Loudly and in public places ( thanks dear) .
Thank you! I live in a small village in Ukraine. Here we have one very nosy woman who constantly asks us where have we bought this or that, how much and even what have we prepared today to eat.Then she passes your news spiced with her own opinion to everybody she meets. Now I know what to say to her next time. Where? – In a shop. In which shop? – In big\\small clothes shop in the nearest town. I hope that will be enough for her
Yes A new found connections is pumping me up full of nosy questions. It would seem my ex wants to know via by proxy. It’s quiet annoying. What I do, where I go & even more personal, is my age & past: which is no ones business. It’s one thing if I freely share it, but a complete other if someone feels the need to ask 101 nosy questions abt my life. ~Thx for your answers & advice, I will find a way to gracefully answer in the life lesson you’ve given me here.
I never ask anyone what they do for a living. That was typical for small talk years ago – a way of gauging someone’s rank, social class, background mainly. Today, it is very rude to do that. Mainly, because so many people change career, are more abruptly socially mobile due to flexible working arrangements and many that were in good careers might be unemployed for good reasons. Not everyone wants to admit they aren’t doing well or aren’t earning much. So the best thing to do, when the initial small talk parts are finished, is simply to ask them if they work presently. If they say yes, let them advance the discussion further by telling you what they do. If they don’t, change the subject. If they say no, just be polite and change the subject unless they furnish you with details of why they aren’t working. Some are more vague and say something like ‘I’m a consultant’ or ‘l’m in the military’ ‘a civil servant’ or ‘I work freelance’. That is a more subtle ‘mind your own business answer’ unless they detail who they work for and state what kind of consultant they are, what kind of services they offer or what rank they are in the Army or seniority in a civil service post. So don’t ask if they don’t. They probably aren’t all that senior and don’t want to admit it. If someone were to ask me how much something cost, I would tell them it was gifted to me or I got in on sale or I can’t really remember and leave it at that. Or I would say something funny like ‘a tall dark stranger handed it to me at the traffic lights or the cat found it and dropped it in my lap one day.
I get annoyed when ppl I do not have a relationship like a boss or someone I barely know ask me if I’m married or have kids? Or where I live? How does one answer that… I think it’s nuts ppl feel entitled to ask that. Then if I say im not married I’ll hear answers like o don’t worry you’ll find someone when in no way did I suggest I was looking. Even with kids same shit. Or ppl will say well you better hurry up times ticking. How do you answer that without sounding rude?
Common questions lately are where do you work and what do you do for work – I don’t think my occupation is someone’s business- and a lady did that yesterday out of nowhere and said don’t you work for ??? I’m thinking why does it matter in my mind this is not a job interview, and I answer the question due to on the spot in front of other staff I am frustrated cause it’s not a topic of a subject
Since everybody’s bringing up what they don’t like being asked, what are good questions to ask someone you just met that are unlikely to offend anyone? And what if you wanna know how much something costs because you want a similar thing? How do you make it clear that you’re not just being nosy and that you just want to get the same thing?
One thing that i’m going to try is…” funny you should ask that. I was just talking to someone the other day…” And it doesn’t matter whether it is about the subject or not. It might throw them off guard and their game. At least that’s my hope. I have a very nosy sister-in-law who just likes to gather information so she can somehow use it to her advantage later. I was also thinking of saying something like…” interesting question… i’ll have to think about that…” and then go to the bathroom. And the age old “hmmm… Why do you ask?” Asking questions in return puts you in the driver’s seat, i have recently read.
A nosy neighbor asked me about my new car yesterday. Out of the blue, he mentioned my car. I said, oh it’s a leased car.. so there. I don’t want to give him the wrong impression that I buy a new car every several years. Nah, not his type, he’s friends with a couple of narcs in the building. I had a feeling that the narcs are trying to pry off some information out of me. I consistently mentioned, it’s a leased car. That makes them feel better. I chose to be truthful to a handful of true friends.
So I have a really annoying boss who ALWAYS! wants to know where I get every piece of clothing I have. and comments to other co-workers that I seem to not know or remember where I purchased my clothes anytime she asks. So ANNOYING as if I have a brand new wardrobe every week and don’t own older clothing in my closet. How do I respond to her each time she asks where I purchased something?
Oh dear. I have a family reunion coming up and I have gone no contact with most of these people for years now. Any suggestions about how to answer such questions as “what have you been up to/where have been?” And “where do you work” as well as asking about my relationship status, I would be so grateful. These are wonderful answers in the comments section and this website is so tailor made to me ❤ the algorithm did its thing today lol
Thank you very much for making this article! I’m not a woman but obviously there are things in here that we can all benefit from. I have a question. My wife and I have many close friends and family. And my current employment involves a lot of travel. People are constantly asking both of us where did I go and where am I going next. Any help here? I’d love to have a humorous and graceful way of dodging this for these people who are close to me. Thanks!
I am a widow and have not started dating again. This means I do things alone. ” Just ONE? Just YOU? ” is a question I find rude. I am a very independent woman and I feel comfortable out on my own, however, someone less confident could really be deterred from going out alone always being asked this. Could you address this in a article ? Thank you 🙏.
My issue is when I visit friends and I tell them that I need to be back home by a certain time because I have something on later in the day. Friend quizzes me with questions like “what are you doing later that is so important”? and I really feel my plans are none of their business. I would never ask someone a prying question like that. So, how do I politely tell someone to mind their own business.
Ur amazing❤️💪💪 I have a friend who I know she cares but since I lost my job she all the time asks me how did the job hunt go and what am I doing all day long without work!! she keeps askingggg them and it realllllly irritates me because I hate to remember that “I am not finding a job” AND “I’m doing nothing”!!!
Thank you very helpful. Another idea might be to turn the conversation back to the person or even say I don’t know what do you think about that? Thinking about the age question perhaps you could say mmmm older than I was and younger than I will be😂 years ago whilst becoming qualified to train we had to deal with difficult people and I’m sure we were taught that we had to give them something to do so I thought asking for their opinion in a generic sense about a question might be a good one too.
I work for a major hotel brand & you would not believe the number of people (usually men) who ask me personal questions. I smile slightly, quickly blink a few times, and simply state, “I don’t discuss my personal information with customers but if you need anything related to your stay certainly let us know”
I have a hard time not being nasty at people who ask too many questions, at my job people see you leaving the work area and they ask you if you are going on break . This is people that I don’t work in the same section with and are unaffected by me going on a break …. People just need to talk less in general
I just bought a “new to me” car. My dream car, a Ford Thunderbird! The first thing a close friend said was “how on earth are you able to afford that?” Ughhhh, I was raised that it is extremely rude to ask invasive questions. Especially about money, age, weight. But I am constantly being subjected to these, especially now, with my new car!
I had someone come to my house to pick up something I sold her online. She asked so many uncomfortable questions but in a way that i felt compelled to answer, about my house, my rent, just everything, I couldn’t get her to stop. I feel so rattled and unsettled, its more unnerving because she was at my house. I don’t know what to do now, after she’s left, I gave way more information than I wanted and I’m annoyed and I can’t change that. But how would I avoid answering or get her to leave if this situation happened again?
Nice article ma’am. I like to know answer of my question. Here in India most nosy and disgusting question is about caste. There are too many different castes here and also it’s so called hierarchical set up. Much of the upper caste people certainly ask another person about “which caste do you belong to?” In most of the cases they judge people by their caste. Plz study and give answer to this question.
I just lie 😂. I think it’s funny bc if all my coworkers got together and started talking about my age, marriage and kids etc they would all be like ??? 😂. I have even had coworkers ( who are nosey ) and say ” I don’t know how old you are “…. as they do a long pause waiting for me to answer and when I don’t answer they say so how old are you ? I have said in my 30s and they smile and say ” in your 30s” then they say their age hoping I will say mine. Now I just say whatever comes to mind. I say 25 or 30 or 35 or 40 😂. I tell some I have kids and others I say I don’t have any. I just wish people worried about their own life
a woman like kind of trapped me yesterday ……i didnt wanna talk to her but she engaged with a normal question and then asked a nosy one……i turned the question back on her she answered and then asked me again and i just simply said I dont tell you and honestly I knew exactly the place she came from JEALOUSY 😣 Thats so sad
I have a family member who makes lots of backhanded comments. She also asks how much I pay for stuff. If I travel, she asks how much it costs. Once I shared photos from a trip and she said, ” how you didn’t tell me you were expecting”. I wasn’t. I guess she wanted to say I looked fat. I had fibroids and needed surgery (which she knew). I eventually told her comment hurt and she said, “I was just joking”. It’s like she can’t help herself not knowing everything about others. She recently told me someone bought a house, so I said I was happy for them. She then went on to tell me how much they paid for a house, although I didn’t ask or want to know. I am just so baffled why she feels like she needs to know how others are spending their money. I normally answer her because she catches me off- guard. Like once she said she liked my shoes. Then she asked how much it was, and I told her and then she made a snide comment.
My guy friend asked me a really question that made me. We liked each other at the time but not anymore so we became just friends. Now I have a boyfriend that is respectful of me. My guy friend would ask me questions after seeing me wearing a nice dress at school. Over the phone we would talk and he would ask me “Are you still wearing your dress?” He would also ask me “What are you wearing underneath?” And I was 16 years old at the time and I said tights, but I was really uncomfortable shearing that information. But then he would continue asking more personal questions about my alphet like “Can you take a picture of your tights and send them to me?” “What colors do you have?” When he doesn’t get the answer he wants to send pictures to him and it’s a no, he gets uptight sensitive and cold with me but he would play the hyprycate game and say “Can you let me know at such and such a time?” He would give the hint to think about sending a picture of my tights before sending him it. I would keep saying no and tell him I’m not comfortable with that and he would not listen. After the first or second time he asked me personal questions I told him that I don’t want to get into it anymore and he forgets what I tell him a lot and that really bothers me and turns me off. He would also ask me to send him pictures of me and boyfriend in our homecoming and prom alphets, he likes keeping personal talks secretive, acts like he’s still interested in me when I’m already in a relationship and asks me questions about my relationship to see if me and my boyfriend still keep in touch often, and he would ask me if my boyfriend turns me on my complimenting me “I’m beautiful,” and that’s none of his business.
I live in Germany and my Grandparents where imigrants. Even though I was born here, they always ask me where I come from, because I have dark brown hair. In Germany you are not autimatically counted as German when you were born here. So when they ask me “where do you come from” I want to say Germany, because that is where I am born, but what they really want to know is “you are not blond and blue eyed, were does your race come from”, but when I name the country of my grandparents, that is not 100 percent true, because I have never lived there and I was socialised in Germany. So I dont know what to really say.
Lately I’ve been asked 4 nosy questions I was caught off. GUARD BY SO I answered them and got mad about it later. The questions were what cat shelter do you volunteer at?. The 2nd Do you still smoke? The 3rd what make is yiur car? What kind of medicine do you take? To all questions I wanted ti say that’s personal or none of your business . Or I don’t share personal.imformation. But I learnt from your article be more diplomatic and next time be more aware or prepared that some people will ask nosy questions . Likecl now ai know to.answer by using humor aintain my composure and answer in a way they don’t get the answer they expect and or change the subject.
It would be great to simply say in response, “why?” or, “mind your business and I’ll mind mine,” or, “I’d rather not discuss that,” or “I’d rather not answer that question.” Comfrontational responses to direct but not harsh responses given here I think. If someone gets offended by any of those responses, let them.
I can not stand it when people ask nosy questions in rapid succession; especially at work. I had someone disrupt my classroom today to ask how many kids I have, where they go to school, where I was going next year, what career I was going to pursue, etc. I told her I was a free spirit and I did not have it figured out yet. I don’t like to give hard and fast answers because when I change my mind, I don’t want anyone to later call me a liar. She literally only started talking to me after weeks of just staring; my first reaction to her was that something was off. So I felt like she was just data mining for some nefarious purpose. Also, if they make you feel uncomfortable, that is probably the Lord shielding you from a narcissist.
You do NOT have to be overly polite or nice to rude people 😎 Three or four minutes of silence works. You could add, “I beg your pardon?” Also, an insincere smile may help you get rid of them. Break eye contact. Say, “I’d looove to talk, but have to go now”. This stuff is handled differently in different cultures. M 🌷
I just moved into a building with a door lady who is also the building manager and she also knows the real estate agancy that I’m renting the apartment from. I want to keep a low profile but I don’t want to be a snob either.Every tme I see her It’s so awkward and don’t have that with most people just with her.She had the hide to ask If I suffer from anxiety and other nosy questions.I am extremely polite to her but she is not polite back.I can’t stand up to her because I don’t want to get on the wrong side of her because she knows the real estate and I love my apartment.She freaks me out. I also try apologising to ease the tension but she never forgives me.i don’t know her but she acts lIke she knows me. Thankyou for uploading this article.Does anyone have any advice?
In the case of a car, which a person might need to plan when and where to buy, maybe offering a range, such as ” I understand why you want to know, and I can tell you that in order to get this car, you will want to plan to pay in between XXXXX and XXXXX. I went to XXX dealership, and they are running a special promotion now.”
Whatever you do, don’t explain. If you explain, they’ll criticize, question, judge, condemn, debate you into argument and get into conflict As Queen Elizabeth said ” never complain, never explain ” And don’t care what they think in their head, just do things that benefit you without explanations and move on, let it go
I’m 42, I think I have been gracious for many years but when I get asked nosy questions now, all I want to say is… it’s none of your business and move on😂 but I have to bite my tongue. It kills me that I can’t say what’s on my mind. This is usually at work with a nosy co-worker whom I don’t know much about.
People always seem to be asking me about my working arrangements: are you still just working part time? What hours do you work? Do you work from home? While none of this is secret, I am so sick of having to go through all of these details and justifying my decisions. I usually just answer so that I don’t seem rude, but I’m thoroughly fed up! Why do people feel they have the right to know? Any good suggestions as to how to bat these questions away, gracefully?
As a 65-year-old woman, I no longer have the patience to worry about whether people think I’m a lady. I have found that the quickest way to shut down nosy people goes something like this, NOSY PERSON “What did you and your husband do this weekend?” ME: “Why?” NOSY PERSON “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be nosy.” ME “Oh, okay, no problem.” End of conversation.
Im about to leave for rest because of maternity. And unknown people I hardly relate with here at work have asked me when is the date your leaving? UsuallybI reply soon. But in my mind im like why do you care? We are not friends ._. And ya’ll never asked me anything else before. So yeah, thats pretty uncomfterble
It’s men too omg one asked me why am I single? And another women at my current job asks so many answers I’m learning to answer though and not get frustrated just change the subject one question I got was when was the last time you got some?😒😒😒 And because I’m gay one dude joked and said it’s probably been a while I said so what if it has there are more important things in life than sex
People who ” over share”, explain yhings even when noy asked are the targets of such people. So watch habits yourself. Set the boundary early on. Keep conservation general and never ” about yourself” for validation of others. Its never too late to change.. Practice saying bsoc things as ( Thank you, yes, no, Im running late, later we will catch up, thanks gotta go)
It really pisses me off, I even said it’s a confidential project I’m working on. He continued to ask, what project….I don’t want my project to be jinxed..plus I feel I Wana achieve what I am doing and then let the success to talk for itself. But these guys just keep asking. I had to say I’m working on a project bcos I am not at work at the moment and they think I am available and free whenever suits them because, I am not bcos I am working on my project. So anyway the guys said everything seems to be confidential with you lol…when all I said the project is confidential l…so I told him ‘not at all, you seem to be super nosy even after having been told it’s a confidential project..and then I said dw about something that doesn’t concern you lol. I just find it really pushing the boundaries and then cheeky comments like everything seems to be confidential with you. Omg I had a guy ask me my age, I think he was taking an interest, but I was not at all interested. He asked my age 3x after the first time I said it’s rude to ask a lady her age and laughed it off, he continued to ask like a twat and I refused to answer. So even if I did say 25 he would have continued to
Thanks for sharing 😍👍 When I first bought my home. people would ask me how much did my home cost. I would smile and say it was affordable 😊 certain things you just don’t ask people. knowing how much something costs or how much somebody paid for something is not going to add or take away from your life. I think people just need to think about what they are about to say before they open their mouth 😊
Lord help me….. Iol I start asking them the same questions and more to get their feathers ruffled. I hate rude people. Especially when you know you have weight problems which goes extremely up and down. Then someone says oh how you doing you look skinny. Then I’ll respond thanks you too. Then sometimes they say no I been gaining. Then I’ll say well cut back the carbs it will benefit you too.
Several people have asked how much my rent costs and that makes me feel very uncomfortable because I only recently moved home after living in another state for 7 years. It feels weird and I don’t understand why they want that information besides to compare themselves to me financially, but it’s annoying because of course they’re not planning to pitch in to my rent! I don’t know how to tell them they can’t ask me how much money I pay rent?
Thank you, great advice! For the most part I agree. But I do feel there is also a down side to this…..and we all should be a little careful as well. If I sense that someone gets upset (even if they don’t show it) for me asking where they got something that would be of tremendous help for me (and my family), I don’t ask anything anymore…ever again… to that person. People might become closed… I do have learned that it helps to first explain the the reason why I ask the question, but it is not nice to have the feeling of walking on eggshelves with some people. So again, I have learned to quickly sense who to ignore to protect myself for feeling badly judged. The age thing I understand, but it is not always for nosy reasons. I ask questions about age because in my culture age is very important because the oldest person should get the first everything (first present, first glass of wine, first plate of dinner, etc. Out of respect!) people their motive of asking questions is not always nosy… So although I do totally agree on your content, because I truly think and agree that there really ARE nosy (and rude) people. But shouldn’t all of us also try a little bit to figure out first if someone really is being nosy or if it is just our first judgement? When someone asks me something I find very strange/nosy I ask in a fun way why they ask!? I have always noticed people having no trouble to answer. The true nosy people say something equivalent to ‘oh I was just wandering’ (no actual answer or not meaningful to me) Judging someone for being nosy when they are not, might also feel rude or hurtful to that person.