To build emotional connections in a relationship, it is essential to understand and practice empathy. Empathy involves placing oneself in the other’s shoes and seeing things from their perspective. To cultivate emotional intimacy, couples should change their pattern of initiating sex, avoid criticizing each other, and mix things up to end the power struggle. To make a genuine emotional connection, actively listen to your partner, share your feelings openly, and show consistent empathy. Being present and emotionally available, engaging in deep conversations, and showing vulnerability are all ways to strengthen relationships.
Emotional intelligence is crucial for a healthy marriage, as it helps partners recognize and manage their own emotions and understand and respond to their spouse’s emotions. Building a connection with a partner is easy when you respond to their bids for connections. John Gottman has studied the couple’s relationship, and those who respond to bids are more likely to have a stronger connection.
Building emotional bonds in a relationship is essential for creating a deep, lasting connection. When you know how to build an emotional connection with your partner, your marriage will thrive. Building intimacy in a marriage may involve both emotional and physical exercises. Couples can strengthen their connection through intentional actions that promote emotional bonding.
To build emotional bonds, make friendship a lifelong priority in your relationship. Travel together, indulge in local activities together, take pictures, and share mutual respect, kindness, empathy, and a little bit of humor. By sharing their thoughts and feelings with each other, couples can begin to build trust and emotional intimacy.
Communication is key to building trust and emotional connection. Discuss your feelings, boundaries, and expectations, ask for forgiveness for self-perceived wrongdoings, plan meetings, spend quality time together, observe details of your partner, and be a good listener. Being fun and exciting in bed will go a long way in fostering not only physical intimacy in your relationship but also emotional intimacy.
Arranged marriage couples can benefit from therapy to teach them how to communicate better, which will strengthen their emotional bond and encourage mutual understanding. By following these tips, you can improve your connection with your partner and create a stronger, healthier marriage.
| Article | Description | Site |
|---|---|---|
| Tips For Developing Love In Arranged Marriages | by Matrimilan | By sharing their thoughts and feelings with each other, couples can begin to build trust and emotional intimacy. | matrimilan.medium.com |
| When my newly wed wife says she needs to build an … | Mutual respect, kindness, empathy and a little bit of humour are helpful in forging a relationship. If you can make her feel she’s special to … | quora.com |
| Building Intimacy in Arranged Marriages: A Practical Guide | Begin by spending quality time together to build trust and emotional connection. Communication is key; discuss your feelings, boundaries, and expectations … | shusshh.in |
📹 12 Arranged Marriage Mistakes to Avoid
A conversation on 12 Arranged Marriage Mistakes to Avoid, because well… IT’S HIGH TIME we stopped pretending that issues …
Can A Marriage Survive Without An Emotional Connection?
A long-term romantic relationship without emotional intimacy is unsustainable. Without this connection, feelings of safety, love, and support diminish, affecting overall marital happiness and physical intimacy. Most marriages struggle to thrive in the absence of emotional intimacy, with many partners eventually desiring to leave the relationship. While it is possible to maintain a marriage lacking emotional connection through effort and physical engagement, such unions typically result in unhappiness.
Emotional connection is vital in a healthy marriage, as it is often why couples commit in the first place. Without emotional intimacy, partners may feel isolated, leading to a breakdown in communication and further detachment. While some relationships can endure without emotional attachment, they are unlikely to be considered truly fulfilling.
Rebuilding emotional intimacy is crucial for relationship success. Couples must actively strive to reconnect, as intimacy—both physical and emotional—is essential. Although a marriage can survive without emotional intimacy, the experience is rarely joyful, underscoring the importance of cultivating a strong emotional bond. Ultimately, the key to a thriving marriage lies in recognizing and fulfilling each partner's emotional needs, allowing for connection, trust, and rekindling the love that initially brought them together.
How To Develop Intimacy In Arranged Marriage?
Emotional intimacy in relationships, particularly in arranged marriages, revolves around deep communication and shared experiences. It includes having meaningful conversations about personal aspirations, fears, and significant life events, fostering an environment of safety and validation. Couples can enhance their emotional connection through self-disclosure, responsiveness, and clear communication, while avoiding secret-keeping and emotional avoidance that can erode intimacy.
To cultivate and strengthen emotional intimacy, it is essential to make time for enjoyable activities together, practice non-judgmental listening, and become more predictable to each other, which contributes to comfort and trust.
The article offers 21 practical tips aimed at newlyweds in arranged marriages, emphasizing that such unions can be just as loving as love marriages. Key strategies include increasing time together, engaging in shared hobbies like reading, and being emotionally available. Respect, empathy, and kindness form the foundation for a strong bond. Communication about past experiences and expectations is vital, and couples should explore emotional and physical touch to deepen their connection. By focusing on shared values and experiences, partners can build a strong, intimate relationship despite the initial challenges posed by the arranged nature of their union.
How To Restore Emotional Connection In Marriage?
Rebuilding emotional intimacy in your relationship involves exploring shared activities that create connection. Couples therapy can provide valuable guidance during this journey. Focus on softer gestures, such as sending loving messages or surprising each other with gifts, while also prioritizing self-care for your well-being. Emotional intimacy fosters a sense of security and love, reinforced by open communication and trust. Recognizing the common causes of disconnection can prepare couples to address issues effectively.
Spend quality time together, engage in meaningful conversations, and practice vulnerability to deepen your bond. Consider implementing emotional intimacy exercises to better understand each other. Strategies like sharing feelings, active listening, and thoughtful gestures can greatly enhance connection. It's crucial to evaluate and increase the time spent together, as friendship is vital for emotional connection.
Whether faced with challenges or aiming to strengthen intimacy, these approaches require patience and an ongoing commitment to nurturing the relationship, ensuring both partners feel valued and secure. Prioritize mutual respect and explore new experiences to enrich your emotional bond.
Is Physical Attraction Important In Arranged Marriage?
Physical attraction is often a significant factor in dating and marriage decisions. Many individuals prioritize appearance when evaluating potential partners, especially during arranged marriages where families initially focus on looks through photos. Rejections frequently occur at this stage, emphasizing the weight given to attractiveness over traits like personality, education, or intelligence. Although physical attraction may matter more during the early stages of a relationship, its significance can diminish over time as couples develop their emotional bond. However, in arranged marriages, initial physical attraction plays a crucial role, albeit it should not be the sole criterion.
Research indicates that men generally rate physical attractiveness as more important than women do, highlighting a gender difference in perception. Nevertheless, factors such as shared values, compatible temperaments, and mutual commitment are vital for a strong marriage, with physical attraction aiding these areas. Some individuals may place a higher emphasis on stability and resources rather than looks.
Ultimately, while physical attraction is important, it should be balanced with other aspects like character and compatibility to foster a lasting relationship. In summary, attraction is important in arranged marriages, yet a successful partnership also relies on deeper connections and shared values.
How Do You Build A Strong Emotional Bond?
Building a strong emotional connection with a partner involves being present, emotionally available, and genuinely interested in their life and feelings. A deep emotional connection transcends surface-level interactions and leads to a profound bond where love and vulnerability intertwine. This connection is essential for fulfilling relationships, enhancing mutual understanding and trust while providing emotional support. Key ways to foster this bond include practicing clear communication, setting healthy boundaries, embracing vulnerability, and sharing positive experiences.
Engaging in activities together, such as storytelling, asking questions, and exploring new hobbies, can strengthen emotional ties. Additionally, it’s crucial to show empathy, prioritize quality time, and provide daily affirmations, fostering a secure bond that boosts self-worth and esteem. Understanding how to develop and nurture these emotional connections can transform relationships, whether new or rekindled. Ultimately, strong emotional bonds play a vital role in increasing intimacy and satisfaction, contributing significantly to a healthy and happy partnership.
How To Grow Love In An Arranged Marriage?
To foster love in an arranged marriage, it’s crucial to create a strong foundation through understanding and trust. Start by sharing childhood experiences and family backgrounds to build rapport. Discuss dreams and aspirations to grasp each other’s life goals. Mutual trust becomes essential, particularly when couples are in long-distance arrangements. Engaging in an arranged marriage can facilitate romantic feelings as partners adjust together. To deepen love, consider these strategies: confide in one another, plan special moments together, and nurture emotional intimacy through shared activities.
Building friendships is paramount; strong emotional bonds often stem from companionship. Establish communication channels and allow for open dialogue about personal interests and problems, helping to bridge gaps and create stronger connections. Recognize the potential for love to develop over time, despite initial mechanical interactions. As seen in various studies, love in arranged marriages can grow, reflecting beautiful stories of genuine affection.
Emphasize a patient approach, practicing active listening and displaying respect. Create an environment where each person feels valued, stepping away from judgment. This mindset fosters an atmosphere conducive to love, and with low expectations and little demands, couples often discover deeper emotional ties. Ultimately, cultivating a loving marriage requires effort, understanding, and the willingness to grow together through shared experiences.
How Does Love Grow In Arranged Marriage?
In arranged marriages, couples prioritize compatibility, shared values, and commitment, leading to a gradual growth of love. While initial intense feelings may be absent compared to love marriages, love develops as partners share experiences and understand each other. These marriages emphasize nurturing love through mutual understanding and shared experiences. Research indicates that love in arranged marriages tends to increase over time, potentially surpassing the love found in love marriages (Gupta and Singh, 1982). Despite initial unfamiliarity, couples in arranged marriages often become romantic as they navigate their new life together.
Arranged marriages might stem from formality but can blossom into lasting love. Studies examining love’s evolution in such marriages across diverse cultures suggest that, with time, passion can grow. Love contributes to partners' physical and mental well-being, enhancing their sense of purpose. While love may not be the initial basis for a successful marriage, trust and commitment to shared goals foster its development.
With patience and open communication, love can indeed flourish. Ultimately, arranged marriages can lead to loving relationships, supporting the idea that love can emerge and strengthen over time, regardless of the initial circumstances of the marriage.
Who Initiates Intimacy In Marriage?
Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology reveals that in over 60% of couples, men are the primary initiators of intimacy, while about 30% share this role equally, and a minority of couples see women initiating more often. A lack of intimacy signifies a disconnect, leaving both partners feeling undesired and potentially leading to deeper emotional or physical issues within the marriage. Maintaining intimacy is crucial for reinforcing physical desire, as failure to address intimacy challenges can leave partners feeling neglected.
While it’s ideally a mutual endeavor, it is commonly suggested that husbands take the lead in initiating intimacy. Strategies for enhancing intimacy involve open communication, recognizing potential barriers, and exploring various initiating techniques. Intimacy initiation can be complex, especially when one partner consistently takes the lead, potentially fostering resentment. Heterosexual dynamics often show women wanting to initiate but holding back, while men frequently desire less initiation.
The solution lies in understanding both partners’ drives and fostering an environment where affection can flourish. Couples are encouraged to rethink how they approach intimacy, including informal role-playing in public settings, which can reignite passion and connection. Overall, both partners should take active roles in nurturing intimacy in their relationship.
How To Develop A Bond In Arranged Marriage?
To create a loving relationship in the context of an arranged marriage, consider these five effective strategies.
- Share Your Secrets: Engaging in open conversations fosters trust and deepens the connection. Share personal experiences and thoughts to enhance compatibility.
- Spend Quality Time Together: Make an effort to bond by engaging in activities that both of you enjoy. Taking trips or simply enjoying local activities together can build shared memories.
- Focus on Romantic Activities: Encouraging romantic gestures or outings will help cultivate emotional intimacy, laying a strong foundation for love to flourish.
- Be Yourself: Authenticity is key. Avoid trying to be someone you're not, as genuine interactions are essential for a lasting connection.
- Prioritize Each Other's Goals: Show support for your partner’s dreams and aspirations. Building a relationship on mutual respect and shared ambitions strengthens your bond.
In addition to these strategies, effective communication, patience, and emotional intelligence play crucial roles in relationship development. Engage in conversations to understand each other better, and establish common ground to enhance friendship. Acknowledge challenges and work together to overcome them, ensuring that love can thrive and sustain throughout your marriage. Through commitment and shared experiences, couples in arranged marriages can indeed forge beautiful, lasting connections.
How Do You Develop Feelings In Arranged Marriage?
In arranged marriages, couples can strengthen their relationships by focusing on shared experiences, values, and mutual respect. By fostering patience, dedication, communication, and compromise, love can flourish. Increasing emotional intimacy is essential, achieved through self-disclosure, responsiveness, and direct problem-solving. Avoidance and secrecy can undermine this intimacy, while building trust and security enhances emotional bonds. Addressing the complex emotions of excitement and anxiety early on can help couples navigate the journey together.
Establishing a friendship before romance is vital; avoiding formal settings allows for greater comfort. Understanding how each partner spends their leisure time also helps gauge lifestyle compatibility. Practical tips include communicating openly, developing friendships, and engaging in shared activities to reveal new facets of each other. While arranged marriages may start without intense passion, they can evolve by investing in the relationship.
Couples should be attentive, nurturing, and surprise each other to deepen their bond. Ultimately, creating a solid foundation of trust, understanding, and security empowers arranged marriages, transforming them into lasting partnerships. As love develops post-marriage, arranging time spent together fosters both emotional and physical intimacy, underscoring that companionship, tradition, and friendship can lead to profound connection over time.
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hello prachi can you tell me why it happens……most of the Girl’s family cares all about 6 figure salary….or if a guy’s family don’t want dowry…but the guy’s salary is 50k or above and still gets rejected even though that guy is really good… isn’t that also a greedy thing from Girl’s family ?
Well Explained.. I have always stood strong when it came to choosing my partner.. I searched for my own groom cause my Parents’ Choices were just not my kind and they couldn’t understand that. Finally I found someone chatted & spoke for a 33 days and now I am happily married to him without any dramas. It was not a Love Marriage but a Self Arranged Marriage…
Thank you. You have summarized everything that I have faced because I got forced into an arranged marriage at 20. I’m 24 now and divorced. My family who was supposed to be there for me through thick and thin turned their backs on be during the most traumatic phase of my life. Never again. My heart has turned to stone now.
I want to say something abt arranged marriage. Parents force it to ensure a minimum guarantee: same caste, more or less same food habits, economic standard, festivals, VISIBLE values etc. Also, an arranged marriage means a social safety net of relatives. The boy and girl also feel very moralistic, ki dekho, humari bhi jawani ke hormones aaye par hum ne papa mummy ko sharminda nahi kiya, so please I deserve a halo and loads of gold and gifts. Problem starts when castes match but hearts and bodies don’t. And kids are born but out of obligation. Parents stay out of habit, obligation and social fear. Extramarital relationships happen on the sly. But hypocrisy wins hands down. All too soon, you are celebrating your silver wedding and your kids are clicking your lovey dovey pics to feed their ego (and your own) on social media. And you think, yes this is the right way, the only way to marry and raise a family.
Thank u for addressing all these issues. We really need to talk about this. Marriage is such a big decision and our parents expect us to marry someone we don’t even know or met for like 2-3 times. I find this idea really horrible. And usually it’s girl who have to adjust and settle for less. She has to go through a different level of pressure. You are a brave girl who took stand for herself. MUCH LOVE
Prachi everything is on point . I just want to add one more point : It happened with some of my friends and nothing wrong with this if they are okay. If the girl is working and some marriage proposal comes up then the girl is supposed to leave her job and find a job in other city/country . Obviously it’s not that easy to immediately find another . I meant finding any job is fine but finding a job of your choice takes time . I have seen many of my friends leaving their job and moving to another city/country (of course there is nothing wrong with tha) but what if you don’t want to move to another city/country without a job. I think efforts should be from both sides . Thanks for the article Prachi ❤️
Prachi, you nailed it, well explained. Would like to tell you :Try making a article categorically what men face these days before marriage. So that girls/women get educated too. I’ve seen too much expectation say from a guy like an MBA degree, 6 figure salary, Car, house….. so on and so forth.. and I believe its a shopping list and men are seen as a Shopping Mart where the one with more freebies gets the girl. Parchi, I want you to reach out to masses so that they are fully aware on gender equality, equality in marriage, right support structure, love, compassion and oneness. Cheers
Great advice Prachi! And thank you that you touched pain points from both- boy and girl perspective. Maybe someone gets engaged under social pressure or pressure from the other side, and later unfortunately, you start to see serious compatibility issues, and the other side starts to pressurize you and your family just to get you in a wedlock, take your time and make a well thought and informed decision. In worst cases, remember you always have the courage to say “No” to getting married. From my personal experience I can totally validate what Prachi has been talking about in this article. All the very best everyone in your partner search and God bless you all.
I cant admire u enough u di… U nvr fail to amaze u… U r soooo sooo soo insightful…i keep coming here just to listen your perspective oF several imp aspects of human beings without judging without any prejudice….u just opens up every single tangle of inexperienced minds…. Thanks di fr being the one… Love love love
Hello Prachi, Firstly a big round of applause for covering all the major aspects regarding arranged marriages. I’ve just turned 34, decided to take this road ahead and frankly speaking, most of the points have rightly hit the chords. Would appreciate, if you kindly can come up with a followup article. 🙂 Regards, Saptarshi
Agree with most points here In my marriage I felt a strong sense of people forcing the girl and people hijacking the conversation. Look out for signs of marriage being forced and points of lesser dating window is the biggest flag. In most of such cases the girl will not be interested and also guys be very careful in trusting your in laws they will try to immediately swing the tide to their favor and pull you away from your parents which is extreme mental harassment, not easy to come out of such scenarios.
Truthfully speaking, I’m so overwhelmed in trying to pick a life partner. I just want someone I can trust and who is faithful to me, but I can’t seem to want to do that with anyone yet. I’m so scared to even meet someone over the fear of getting rejected, but I guess you’ll never be able to love without taking risks. Sigh. I’m envious of the people who meet their significant other through romantic events of life, that was my dream too but that didn’t really happen lol. I hope I find my soul mate soon
The key to a good match is shared values. Get to know yourself and what matters most to you: intelligence, respect, kindness, faith–these are things that, if you’re not on the same page, nothing else will matter. Multiple degrees or a big bank account will not make you happy, if your partner is not worthy of your respect.
Whether marriage is love marriage or arranged marriage, it is such a relationship, unless both of them understand well, then this marriage cannot last long. Marriage is such a relationship in which all the people of 2 families meet. Marriage, friendship or any relationship can be settled for a long time only as long as there is a good agreement with each other or any relationship lasts only for a long time.
I just want to share my story. Mine was arranged marriage thru matrimonial site, my story same as vismaya case in Kerala I faced physical abuse for dowry and moved out within a year of marriage looking after my career. Within a year of marriage don’t transfer all money, jewels if u suspect the person and in-laws are not genuine during your initial days of marriage itself. Because Indian judiciary u can’t get ur items back though laws are there.. no justice and just case will get delayed if u go to court and just mental pressure and extra loss of money to lawyers. Please be cautious before understanding the persons true character.
dii this the most awaited topic as I also did not have find out due to someone whom I can say a soul mate or anything of the sort so we need to be open minded to arranged marriage also so I always wander that how to go for arranged marriage as I was so immature to know what are the things to look for like what to ask for di but especially the gujarati community I want to say that girls in an arranged marriage demand like you have to gift the bride a good iphone and than there should be a car in the house and he should be living in a particular area like these are the demand for every girls in my community but I want to know that marriage is a commitment for both bride and groom so what should a Groom do against the demand for cars and having a house in a particular area and also don’t respect the grooms parents like these are the experience of many gujju house hold which I have came to know and would want to say that I am having enough money to buy a home in that area but that What if my income is not so mucht o give expensive gift and also to have a car like I am saying that right now I don’t have a car but in near future may be we both could plan and purchase a car pls answer di???
The arrangement conversation was hijacked by both our parents. Guy juz asked about my career. Shadi got fixed but my family dint even know his name correctly. No one asked 4 my opinion. He wz v tall n huge n wanted to marry in 20 days as that was his “target”.he said he has no time to talk to me at all. We had a conversation after 1 week n i said i wanted to change job. He said he will Let ne know n cut the call. He broke marriage. Its 6 months now n my grandma abuses me 1st thing after I wake up every single day for breaking it. M still alive.
Prachi didi, I stay in US with my family. They have been very toxic for me. I’m not completely financially independent, but I do earn and study. My school is going to start soon, but I want to go to Germany. They think I’m earning so they blackmail me that I shouldnt go to the job and hide car keys. I am really confused on what to do? I asked my counselors in school. no one has enough understanding of my situation. they say you go back to India, but I’m afraid of the finances I have. I’ll lose all from all hard work I did. I have no friends or support system or close family whom I can share too. I am going through all alone. I’m 22. 🥺
Even don’t want to go for arrange marriage because it is all about just the looks and money and the horoscope I earn my money, I manage it. So I need someone who thinks like me. Sadly most of the men I’ve met have either been mamma’s boy or have been cheated in relationships. So they often try to mold me in a shape which I honestly dont belong to. Dont want to be a typical bahu and happy with my current Life
This is the article I needed to watch! My family is forcing me to get married saying me that when I will be older no one will want to marry me. I want to complete my LLB first. I have had bad relationships with my parents in my past, but as long as I am their puppet they recognise me. I don’t want to lose my parents again, but I don’t want to get married before I am ready. I know I am not doing anything wrong, but to get the right path I have to be the disappointment which has brought me to extreme stress and I have headache and body shivering almost all the time.
Prachi, you are talking about “Independent Girls” who are fighters in life…which are just 10% to 20% rest 80% girls are family dependent and mostly they please their family by listening to them to avoid drama. They dont fight for such things…and If Guy is from US/UK etc..they say blindly yes….what you are talking about is for the girls who think independently and question their parents wrong action as well. Anyways Good article…I hope Girls can Act on it!!
Let me give you a really hard one !!! I fell for someone in Pakistan ( I am American ) And we fell for eatchother. When she told her parents about us, they started making her see families for marriage. After a few families she told them that non of them made her feel like i did and to please give us a chance, just to meet me and see that we are serious about this, I own my own business and we work together very well ! I have converted and doing everything i have to to be with her aswell — after awhile she finally asked her father and now they are forcing her to be married in 3 months to someone that cant even make her smile/laugh or hold an interesting conversation. Shes tired of fighting and they keep talking about how other people will look at them for what she is doing and disrespecting him and that her little sister is going to get hurt too, all the emotional blackmailing… – This new family is rushing because of all the reasons you explained- Grandparents are sick etc – What can i do to be able to be with the one i have been waiting for … And if i cant be with her, what can i do to make sure that she will be happy !!
To all the girls reading my comment here an advise for you. “You can survive without getting married but you cannot survive without money”. Financial independence is must for every woman especially in today’s world. Focus on your career no matter how much your family and so called relatives pressurise you. Just imagine being dependent on someone for your entire life for every little thing how would it feel???? Caged right??? Once you start earning for yourself you not only become independent but also confident it builds your personality and what not…and stop thinking about what others say people only judge others if they are not happy within themselves. So be independent and live your life the way you want ❤️✨✨✨
There’re many good points, it’s good that you’re talking about it but there are also points i somewhat disagree with like sexual past, it does matter maybe not for girls but for guys it does. And about the traditional family marriages i think you’re giving others a wrong idea about it, cooking food everyday and taking care of your husband and kids ain’t a bad thing, womens are naturally better at taking care of people and naturally better at nurturing and you can’t deny that, just like you’re doing the traditional stuff for your husband they would also be there to provide and protect you from anything you need.
Why is Marriage Important? Is it important to bind oneself with a person for life and ruin that girl/boys life. A person can remain happy without being bound to another person. Can anyone explain logically that why is marriage important in a man/woman life? Too many complications in a marriage. Why get into those issues.
Arranged marriages worked well in the previous generations. People then were very sensible, accomodating, steeped in Hindu culture and philosophy and love stories of Gods and Godess, AND accepted however the opposite partner or family would be like with ALL their problems. They married very young, rarely had boy or girl friend and after marriage were attracted to their spouses. AND THEY NEVER SPOKE ENGLISH, the language of separation and Divorce.
I don’t understand if a boy or girl loose virginity before marriage, I mean he or she slept with someone before marriage. How this is a normal thing for you. If someone says they came from a very well behaved cultured family, then how this virginity thing is a normal thing for them. A well cultured family people doesn’t do these things. If dowry is a crime, then also before marriage this physical intimation with others is also crime for both girl and boy.
Thank you so much…i liked your article .. hadn’t I see this article before itself i could have stopped the pain created by a family who came with marriage proposal for my daughter …..they were about 15members who came to see my daughter…all was ok ….my daughter chatted with him for just 5days ..and somebody died in their house and called off the marriage….this really shattered her …no calls from him …after 2months just now she is recovering …she never wanted to get committed because all her friends got cheated in one way or the other in their love life so she opted for arranged marriage and i really disappointed her ..i wholly take the responsibility ..i should have done my home work correctly …..we checked the family background of the boy and family ..but some where it went wrong …
Hey prachi di, this comment is NOT related to your content, but I really needed HELP. I have been posting articles in my website for past 20 days, I gained 50+ subscribers and approx.1k views . (This needed a lot of hard work and I was posting in alternate days)but unfortunately from today morning I can not find any of my articles in my website, somehow they all got deleted and I feel extremely sad, I did see one of your articles a few months back where your website got hacked and all your articles got deleted,and how Gaurav bhaiya helped you retrieve all your articles. Can you please suggest me what should I do and how can I get them back . Please di HELP me.
Hey prachi deedi What should i do if my husband still talks about previous engagement even after having a baby(9months old). He still talks about previous engagement which was told to them already before our marriage (during our first meeting itself) even if we have any small misunderstanding or fights itself he goes back to previous engagement matter. Now I’m fed up with him. I have given him so many chances. I told him not to speak about that.(since we explained that incident clearly so many times) What should i do? Now I’m afraid that he may talk and fight about that infront of my son. I don’t know what to do. Please help 🙏
Thanks. Much needed. More and more people (women and men) need to start thinking and talking about all these, especially in India. Both women and men should strive to become the best version of themselves and be complete individually first. Don’t stop your son from cooking (saying your wife will cook for you!). Similarly don’t stop your daughter from driving (saying your husband will drive!). These are important life skills for BOTH of them. Let the daughters be financially independent and sons be more understanding. Realize that men have not fallen from the sky.
Both of the ends must not fall at the hands of societal pressure, compulsive motive of just being married.. Everyone has the right to choose nd exercise the conscious choice before getting married or not..or to live a free nd worthy life. . Both of them need to know themselves first then the other ones of what u want nd what the other want.
There is an weird culture in rajasthan rajput, rajpuorhit and in uttarakhand kumaoni that arranged marriage r always mendatory no matters whether u hv someone in ur life or not !! I hv seen many wel Independent matured urban girls also sacrificing their love and even some girls who do party a lot and modern I. Their thinking still try their hard to stay away to fall in love with anyone however they like perusal romantic movies and love stories which they knew will never be their choices or desires!! So i’m not against self Arranged marriage but I’m totally against arranged marriage coz this type of concept really kept lots of restrictions in the life of many indian adults!!
What you said and all those factors are well explained, can we have another article where guys fall in traps like Girls lying about their education, Girl pressuring guy to leave their parents, There are plenty of cases where i have seen guys suffering by girls acts for many reasons such as Financial, Social, Sexual. All this points are true but i also want you to come up with an article mentioning about guy’s point of view and at what point guys have to stood on such situations. I know girls have to leave their house, so there’s lot of environment change happens and at some point more than the guy within the marriage but i guess girls also need to understand on how to accept both family with an mutual consent and agreement and it’s not only for guys. Thanks for such an socially informative content, Highly Appreciative!
Hey prachi di ……I wanna ask how to handle pressure of studies dii whatever concept I learn about maths etc I forget day before yesterday my teacher told I should work hard because what ever we do and get masks repay our parents because all the facilities is been provided to me…..My classmate saurav and ayush are working very hard so how can I also work hard….when i am in a mood of studying i study very interestingly but then next day I procast and don’t study for 4,5 days and thinks from tomorrow I will start and wake up at 4 but unable to do that i am unable to studying .AND MOST important My BROTHER KEEPS ON GIVING TAUNTS THAT I DONT STUDY THOUGH I STUDY THAT DAY…..PLEASE HELP.
Imagine a guy X entering a chemistry lab and drinking a random liquid, the liquid was just sugar dissolved in water(class 6 experiment). Now, what if X told this to Y, and now Y also drank a random liquid, which turned out to be highly concentrated sulphuric acid. A single drop is more than enough to penetrate directly to muscles and burn them. This is pretty much all the context for arranged marriage.
What happens when you are 28 and parents start taking tension for your marriage…your mom have anxiety issue and you feel a burden on ur parents..cz parents say we wanna be free from ur responsibility..n ol..it feels disgusting and feeling a burden on family..why do they bring us into this world then….if at the end we are burden on them…how they will feel when they get old and we say them ki we wanna be free from their responsibility..
I would like to express my opinion here and hope you ponder on this, Dowry is not wrong, harassment is wrong, lying is wrong. boy asking for Dowry = girl looking for a well settled boy (salary, house, car etc) Traditionally certain roles were assigned which don’t apply much now . You might know the situation from the girls point of view more than the boy’s point of view. My ex married a boy from the USA because in her and her parents view, he provides her a better lifestyle( this is the dowry she is getting ), which is ok in my view. Hence my point is Dowry is not bad but harassment and mistreatment is bad. Also marriage working out or not is up to the boy and girl as to how much effort both are willing to put in ( ofcourse, there are many factors that act, but the responsibility is the boys and girls equally ). If my ex married someone else, I am responsible 50% for that action no matter what . People these days don’t take responsibility for anything when fact is we are responsible.
Hello Prachi sis, I have agree what u told is true Bride should not accept so many things but nowadays thinks had change a lot. I came from Brahmin family I’ve just turned 31 and have also searching bride around 3 yrs. The think is basial working as 3d visualizer in Interior private company and searching for Bride i haven’t expect much rather her smiling face and loving girl. But Bride is demand a lot and lot now a days they will ask “Are u a BE – software engineer, Doctor, Lawyer, PHD, settle in USA, without parents, Take-home salary show be around 1.5 lks above, Etc …… Is this a Business. The thing is they don’t understand what is am working. They know only above professional what is this and all they r ppl who had made great things without this education . So Please let me u suggesting………………….?
Nice article. Very pertinent. And the questions apply to both boys and girls. Sad that parents’ pressure is causing people to lie. I am in this process and can relate. Was forced to lie once but then corrected myself and also found the other party lying and got their explanations. Coincidentally seeig this on Women’s Day today. BTW Prachi, you look like Radhika Apte.
I really appreciate your article didi. I am going through this phase. Emotional blackmail and society pressure is the common point. I would mention that girls are still not allowed to contact the boys before marriage in Kolkata in a traditional family. The blend of traditional and modern is good for some but can be a vice versa too.
Having Boyfriend, Girlfriend means you are simply not married otherwise it is same as Husband and Wife. Now pyschology says once a you get married either Love or Arranged, instantly the feeling gets static. Then from there on both of them should put equal efforts to keep up and maintain the relationship. Now there can be responsiblities of money, who will take care of that, no transparency, who is going to take care of age old parents, brother/sisters education. Indian men are getting aware of judicial system how favourable it is for Women. I do not think the World will ever be the same even in 2022. It is moving forward by the way of partnership and prenups. Edit: Also to be mindful on the health issues of both the partners, habits, compulsions, etc.. Everyone is in the constant movement of time.. No one is going to be super young forever…!!
Mrs pranchi your thinking about arranged marriage is old, because arranged marriage never means that you get married by force, but the way in childhood you demand from the parents of your choice and parent try to make it happen, in the same way parents keep their choices with you in an arranged marriage.i think parents choice or consent also in mind.
Even if you are so called independent blah blah… don’t try always to go for a boy who earns twice or thrice than u.Some boys may earn less or equivalent but are raised well and behave well…dont think about your boredom there. And stop degrading yourself in your own lifestyle,u will end up with good partner..coz you would not then compromise on his values. There are plenty of traditional men who are good and just want peace of mind from woman. Don’t demand what you don’t deserve.Arrange marriage is not about picking the best out of best…its pick what you are worth.
I want suggestion please help someone… My Inlaws are not like much greedy kind but vo chahte hain sab kuch hum kre or paisa bhi manga and saari arrangements mai bolte hain ye krna vo krna.. Jab main ladke ko ye sab btati hu to vo ulta response krta hai family ki baat ko lakar… Aise ladka bhut romantic hai.. Mere saath ghumne firne ko bhi bolta hai.. But aisi baaton mai vo Tera Mera jaisi baatien le ata hai ki apne bhi aise bola apki family ne aise kiya. . Vaise to vo baat nhi cherta kyuki jo ho rha hai usse usko matlab nhi but jo galat ho rha hai vo bhi meri family ke saath main usko bolti hu to mujhe hi ulta samjhane lagta hai
Hi Prachi, I am really sorry to write here but I have written to you a couple of times but I haven’t got any reply. I know you’re busy and you provide replies to larger audience through some specific letters but I am going through multiple situations all at single time and it’s getting worse because when someone’s nearest ones estrange them is the worst thing to happen especially in this day and time when you can’t even do anything or go anywhere. Anyways, can you please suggest some psychologist or counsellors contact in north India because I have been delaying this for 3-4 years now, thought I would save a little money then go for therapy but everything is just shredding down in my life. Can you please help me with some counsellors.
What is even the need to get married.. Work hard earn & live 🥀 this stereotypes “samaj me rehna hai toh shadi toh krni pdegi” Seriously 🤣jb job ni rahi covid se toh smaaj kha tha.. Mtlb kuch nhi hora hai toh shadi krlo🙌 marriage should not be a compulsion.. Financial independence should be 🌼✈️because woman need to work double as compared to men a woman’s body changes with time.. We need to take care of ourselves so that we can create a better lifestyle!!!
Hi Prachi didi…! When I was 5 months baby, my parents does not use to take care of me much. So, my grandparents (mom’s parents) took me away with them and from that time onwards they have only taken care of my education,clothes and everything. They love me very much and gives me whatever I like all the time but very strict at relationships and love. I am 23 and I love a guy who is my classmate (age 23). We both are doing software jobs in different MNC’s. I know him since 5 years. We belong to the caste OC only but not the same category. At first, we were best friends. One day he proposed me. I also love him but said ‘no’ because of my grandparents. They used to say that they will kill themselves or me if I would love any guy of any other caste or even of the same caste. They are very particular about caste and money and even they don’t like boy friend and girl friend relationships at all. They usuaally abuse people who are in the relationships. One of cousin sisters’ also have a boyfriend. Her relationship matter got leaked somehow to her parents and my grandparents. A big war happened. My grand mother warned me if I would be in my sister’s situation,she would definitely going to kill me and, all my uncle’s and aunt’s will scold my grandparents for looking after me even though my parents aren’t used to. And even if I love anybody, my grandparents are thinking that my uncle’s and aunt’s will not take care of them when they grew more older. On the other hand, the moment my sister’s matter leaked at home, her parents pampered her nicely and understood her feelings and protected her like nobody should question her or scold her in the family.
Exactly ! Today only i got a request on some matrimonial site i accepted it and the first thing he asked me was my birth details…ofcourse for kundali matching ..i gave him the details and after matching he told me the gunas matching is not very good so there is no need to talk forward and guess what it was him only the boy and not his family…he is a btech and working in a govt sector…I was just stunned. .what is the use of that much degree when you are not able to think logically that positions of some planets is not going to decide your fate …its the compatibility between you that is going to make your marriage successful…😒😒
First 1 min into the article… and u lost me when you said our parent’s generation married out of social obligation and there was no commitment for a lifetime. Really??? The previous generations stood by the word ‘commitment’ and unlike us, they didn’t have mood swings. Anyways… good luck with your youtube website 👍
Hello people…I need ur suggestions I m in love with a guy from 6 years…I loved him because we match the vibes…he and me kind of same heart..we shared beautiful memories So I told my parents about it,first they were not ready as he belongs to typical UP joint family and he is into family business. When my parents went there they feel like I can’t be happy there so they decided to say no…as I am also unemployed and struggling to get a govt job… What to do But he is still trying his best to convince my parents…
Iam unable to decide whether I should be in this marriage or not….I don’t work..so not independent…and whenever say things ( about my husband liking other women) …..( About his ex)…..he gets that angry that he beats me….it’s been 4 years….nothing changed…..he does that and then says sorry and promises not to repeat that…but again that happens…..what should I do??
Prachi ..this article seems to people that if u dont get right choice better not marry..do u want to tell this….i think make a vidieo how marriage is important to all…one cant find 2 similar persons in world… Hope u agree…u r young….experience says marriage is only about adjustment…today scenario is more adjystment than earlier days..thats harsh reality…more information means more confusion..that is today..decision making is with so huge info is easy for few inteligent people like u…but for many unfotunately they get lost in excess info as they dont hv that iq….. So there is always a limit of time….young people r not understanding today…thats reason we see lots of unmarried people every where even at 35 or even 40…thats not life…then better stay alone … U hv capability to make a article on this issue
Actually, my sister infact she had speaken about this topic during 2019 as well as last year. She promised me that she will not get married until and unless I get a good job. Her age is 29 years. Next March 2022, she is going to turn 30 years. Since the start of weekend lockdown in Karnataka, we are stuck in our native pace in Coorg. I never knew my sister will be getting married by next year. From when I heard the news I am totally depressed. Infact my parents, specially my dad`s 2 sister and as well as his brother are forcing her to get married. In fact my dad`s brother`s wife, she has a brother who is already married,his wife`s cousin`s son is searching for a girl to get married. When they came to meet along with his parents, my family and his family did not have privacy to discuss because we are staying in my dad`s brother`s house. Dad`s brother`s family was present as well his wife`s brother and his wife were present. Still I am in shock. I told my sister that I don`t want you tie rakhi to me as well as I will not attend your engagement ceremony and the wedding
In arrange marriage talks a girl rejected she is so good and her family is also so nice me even their parents and all was okay our family went to meet their family all okay.but after 3 days they said that girl is not accepting because of I’m working at banglore we waited for a month and she don’t want to stay away from her family… Now they are asking again after 2 year…. Say sister is this right thing to go back or not
A lot of girls I was at school with got married at 21 or a few years before that. Now I’m 23 and pretty much like 90% of the girls who were in my year group at school are married and another 5% are seem to be engaged to get married in the next few months. Plus we live in London and it seems rare for any girl to get married after 24/25. Pretty much everyone is married by 25 here. It’s like 1% that are delayed beyond that.
Prachi, whatever you are saying is true. Do you know all these things are not possible in arranged marriage People lie, and it takes very short time to do engagement and marriage, in this short span of time, its easy to hide many things which you may not like. Getting to know the person before the engagement is considered sin by the parents, fearing that this will destroy their pride. As a result, you end up playing a betting game where you may or may not geta suitable life partner. That’s why I find arranged marriages a shit.
You are doing a great job 👏 your articles are really helpful. I’m getting married in 3 months and it’s an arranged one. I love my fiance a lot and he loves me too. We are really happy with each other but I have an issue with my future mil. She looks young fo her age, she compares me with her right from my skin, dress literally everything. I have little acne scars and she tells me to apply face mask etc etc. I’ve tried several things on my skin including tretinoin, micro needling and oral capsules given by dermatologist ( I have acne prone skin) and she has clear skin definitely because of genes. She thinks I don’t take care of my skin and neglegent about it. I really don’t like when she compares and also brags how she is and was in her 20s.I even told her I’m comfortable in my skin but still she has problems with my skin, How do I stop her?
Prachi I think it might be ok for you to be so much transparent about past sexual matters, although our society has not grown up yet, once you will talk about your health, money issues, past relationships issues in the 1st meeting no one is going to marry you, you will end up loosing character in front of people, I think you are staying in a different culture altogether, these things are not cool in india 🧐🧐
Agar aapko high education karna hai toh kar saktein it depends upon ur wish & will aur rahi baat acche se acchi job b kar saktein hai jisme bahut kamayi ho lekin sab taraf dhyan denaa bahut zaruri hai aisa nahi education k chakkar mein aur ghamand k chakkar mein aur paison k chakkar mein apna sab kho bethein the more u educate urself the more uwant to earn u will not b peaceful paisa hi sab kuch nahi hai aur paise k bina b kuch b nahi hai whatever is there in ur karmas u will get aise bahut ladke aur ladki ghamand aur total confusion k chakkar mei kunwari baithein hai kuch unko samajh mein aata what r elders after 50 they will know they will break their head my advise ladki ki shaadi ki umar 25 zyada se zyada aur ladke ki umar 30 zyada se zyada mein honi chahiye