Over the past 50 years, autism rates have seen a significant increase, raising concerns about the number of children diagnosed with the condition. According to the CDC’s Autism and Developmental Disabilities Monitoring (ADDM) Network, approximately 1 in 36 children aged 3-17 in the U. S. are diagnosed with ASD. This number is closely aligned with the CDC prevalence rate of 1 in 36 children aged 8. On average, around half of all adults with autism live with a member of their family.
Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is characterized by ongoing social problems, such as difficulty communicating and interacting with others; repetitive behaviors. In the U. S., about 4 in 100 boys and 1 in 100 girls have autism, with boys being nearly 4 times more likely to be diagnosed with autism than girls. These changes reflect an improvement in outreach, screening, and de-stigmatization of autism diagnosis.
In 2023, the CDC reported that around 1 in 36 children in the U. S. have been diagnosed with autism. Autism, also known as Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), is a complex developmental disorder that affects how a person communicates. Among all families affected by autism, up to 19 percent have more than one child with the disorder, according to one large study.
In the U. S., about 4 in 100 boys and 1 in 100 girls have autism, with boys being nearly 4 times more likely to be diagnosed with autism than girls. Research shows that autism can indeed run in families, with a 1 in 5 chance of your next child developing autism if you already have one child with ASD.
In the U. S., approximately 13, 000 children were diagnosed with ASD, about 1. 5 of the total. Offspring of mothers with one or more siblings with ASD were about 1 in 5 chances of their next child developing autism.
| Article | Description | Site |
|---|---|---|
| Does Autism Run in Families? | Research shows that autism can indeed run in families. If you already have one child with ASD, you have a 1 in 5 chance of your next child developing autism. | health.clevelandclinic.org |
| THE FAMILIAL RISK OF AUTISM – PMC | by S Sandin · 2014 · Cited by 1485 — For an individual, the risk of autism is increased 10 fold if a full sibling has the diagnosis and about 2 fold if a cousin has the diagnosis. These findings … | pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov |
| Autism statistics and facts | In the U.S., about 4 in 100 boys and 1 in 100 girls have autism. Boys are nearly 4 times more likely to be diagnosed with autism than girls. Autism prevalence … | autismspeaks.org |
📹 10 Things You Need to Know About Your Autistic Partner (Friend or Family Member)
Hi! I’m Orion Kelly and I’m Autistic. On this video I share 10 things that you need to know about the Autistic person in your life. Plus …
Why Is Autism So Common Now?
The increase in reported autism cases in the U. S. has been attributed to heightened awareness, improved access to screening, and better diagnostic capabilities since tracking began in 2000. As of last month, the CDC reported that 1 in 36 children is diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), highlighting a dramatic rise fueling concerns of an autism "epidemic." While some speculate that this rise may be linked to environmental factors, like vaccines, no substantial evidence supports this claim.
The consensus suggests that improved diagnosis, particularly among children of average or above intelligence, is a significant contributor to the increased prevalence. Current research continues to investigate the influence of genetics, environmental elements, and maternal stress on autism development. Experts emphasize that the surge in autism rates largely stems from better awareness, screening, and the availability of services, allowing earlier identification.
Autism, primarily an inherited disorder, showcases rising rates due to broader diagnostic criteria and improvements in healthcare access. In summary, factors such as increased awareness, changes in health dynamics, and enhanced data collection have led to a notable increase in autism diagnoses, with ongoing research aiming to understand the complex roots of this condition.
Do Multiplex Families Have Autism?
Multiplex families, defined as those with multiple members diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), account for up to 19% of all families affected by autism. This includes families with twins, which have significantly contributed to autism research. A notable study involved whole-genome sequencing of 21 highly multiplex families, each with at least three autistic individuals. Findings highlighted the role of rare inherited mutations from unaffected parents combined with polygenic risk factors in increasing the likelihood of autism.
Researchers discovered that children from these families carry a heavier load of rare protein-truncating variants known to be associated with ASD. The research also identified a specific gene version linked to a higher risk of autism in families having multiple affected children. In terms of symptoms, children from multiplex families exhibited similar ASD characteristics as those from families with single cases, despite higher overall incidence rates.
This work emphasizes the genetic underpinnings of autism, suggesting a multi-hit model where both common and rare genetic factors play a role. Furthermore, the emotional and lifestyle challenges faced by parents with multiple children diagnosed with ASD are notable, as siblings are also statistically more likely to develop the disorder.
What Was Autism Called 50 Years Ago?
In the 1950s and 1960s, autism was referred to by various names, including Kanner's syndrome, early infantile autism, hyperkinetic disease, and Heller’s disease, the latter named after Theodor Heller's 1908 description. During this period, the term "childhood schizophrenia" was commonly used to describe children with autistic traits. Leo Kanner's foundational work in the 1940s was pivotal for the understanding of autism, although the terminology was inconsistent. The term "autism" itself was first introduced by Eugen Bleuler in relation to schizophrenia in 1911, where it encompassed a broader definition than what is understood today.
The 1970s marked a significant shift in autism terminology, moving away from the proliferation of labels used in the previous decades. By 1943, Kanner identified what he termed "classic autistic syndrome," which set the groundwork for future definitions of the disorder. It wasn’t until decades later that Asperger syndrome was included in formal diagnostic manuals such as the ICD-10 in 1993 and DSM-IV in 1994.
Understanding of autism has evolved extensively over the past fifty years, prompting the introduction of terminologies like "autistic disorder" and the concept of the autism spectrum. Today, the historical context of autism diagnosis is key to appreciating its current understanding and treatment.
Which Parent Mostly Carries Autism Gene?
The exact cause of autism remains unclear, yet significant evidence points to genetics playing a crucial role. Historically, autism's lower prevalence in females led to the belief that it was predominantly inherited from mothers. However, recent research indicates that autism-related genes are often derived from fathers. A UCLA study highlighted that genetic factors could double the risk of autism. It identified seven specific genes linked to this condition, underscoring the interplay between genetic predispositions and environmental influences, particularly the role of epigenetics.
Both parents can carry genes associated with autism, meaning either can pass on autism-related genetic risk. While earlier assumptions favored maternal inheritance, studies have shown that both maternal and paternal genetics contribute to autism risk. Furthermore, many autism-related mutations are spontaneous, sometimes arising in children from unaffected parents, thus complicating the inheritance narrative. A notable study found that a high percentage of siblings had distinct gene variations linked to autism.
The research also revealed that the father's genetic contributions might be more significant than previously thought. Ultimately, the interplay of both parents' genetic contributions is essential in understanding autism's inheritance, though some studies indicate that maternal genes could influence certain autism-like behaviors more strongly than paternal genes.
Do 1 In 100 People Have Autism?
Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) comprises various brain development conditions, with approximately 1 in 100 children affected globally. Characteristic signs can often be identified in early childhood, but formal diagnoses may occur later. It is estimated that around 75 million individuals worldwide have ASD, representing about 1% of the global population. Since 2000, the prevalence of autism has risen by 178%. The World Health Organization (WHO) asserts that 1 in 100 children has autism, while recent reports indicate that this figure might be closer to 1 in 36 for U.
S. children aged eight. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) corroborates these findings, noting significant increases in reported cases over the past decades. Despite the prevalence estimates indicating about 1 in every 100 people being autistic, some surveys suggest that actual rates may be higher. Additionally, in the U. S., the prevalence is notably higher among boys (about 4 in 100) compared to girls (1 in 100). This data highlights the increasing recognition and diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder, emphasizing the need for continued awareness and support for affected individuals and their families.
Is It Common For A Whole Family To Be Autistic?
Research indicates that autism is frequently hereditary, with a meta-analysis of twin studies revealing that 60 to 90 percent of autism risk is attributed to genetics. Families with a child diagnosed with autism are more likely to have additional children or relatives with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). It's important to distinguish between genetics, heritability, and inheritability, as they are not interchangeable terms. Children diagnosed with autism can sometimes indicate undiagnosed autism in their parents or relatives, since many autistic individuals are identified in adulthood.
The impact of an autism diagnosis extends beyond the individual, affecting the entire family dynamic. Studies show that up to 19 percent of families have multiple children with autism, and new genetic insights continue to emerge, including discoveries regarding risk genes. Familial stress and environmental factors contribute to autism, with boys being four times more likely to be affected than girls. The risk of autism increases significantly (up to tenfold) for siblings of an autistic child.
Although autism is primarily genetic, spontaneous mutations and environmental influences also play crucial roles. Understanding autism within families includes recognizing the reciprocal effects on parent-child relationships, with resources available to support extended family members navigating these dynamics. Overall, research underscores the complex interplay of genetics and environment in the occurrence of autism within families.
Can Autism Run In Families?
Research indicates that autism can run in families. If a family already has one child with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), the likelihood of the next child developing autism is approximately 1 in 5. Various developmental conditions contribute to autism, influenced by a mix of genetic and environmental factors. Autism's hereditary aspect is significant, with prevalent genetic mutations typically passed within families. Recent studies have revealed that unaffected parents can also transmit autism-related genetic traits.
While many cases of autism are hereditary, environmental factors, such as maternal infections or prenatal exposure to certain medications, also contribute. Statistical analyses show that siblings of autistic children face increased risks of diagnosis. Research highlights that although autism generally runs in families, some cases arise in children without any family history. Genetic factors play a crucial role, with estimates suggesting that 60 to 90% of autism risk stems from genetics, although spontaneous genetic mutations may occur. Ultimately, understanding these genetic influences enables families to make informed decisions regarding intervention and support for children affected by autism.
Is Autism Linked To Family History?
Dr. Cuffman's clinical findings highlight a common familial link among individuals with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), noting that ADHD often coexists within these families. Statistically, children assigned male at birth, born extremely preterm, or possessing specific risk factors are more frequently diagnosed with ASD. Recent research from UCLA Health, represented as the largest analysis of families with multiple children affected by autism, reveals new risk genes and insights into genetic influences on ASD development.
A notable study indicated that having a full sibling or co-twin with ASD presents a 10. 3-fold increased risk. In families without a documented genetic history, a significant insight is that many autism-related genetic mutations are spontaneous, emerging in the child but not present in the parents.
Research shows high odds of ASD associated with a positive family history of mental disorders, suggesting a need for careful screening of children with relatives diagnosed with ASD. Connections exist between ASD and other neurodevelopmental and psychiatric disorders. A new study focuses on alterations in noncoding DNA that could also influence autism risk, particularly inherited from fathers. While genetics plays a crucial role—between 50 to 90 percent of autism causes are thought to stem from genes—autism's complexity arises from the interplay of genetic predispositions and environmental factors. Despite genetic implications, the development of autism remains multifactorial, and family history significantly informs risk.
How Many People With Autism Are Employed?
The employment situation for autistic individuals is concerning, as only about 21% are employed, highlighting a significant disparity. In the U. S., nearly 60% of employed autistic individuals received vocational rehabilitation (VR) services, yet many work part-time or in roles that do not match their qualifications. Approximately 20% of adults with autism are in employment, with a combined 24% of study participants holding part-time or full-time jobs without external support.
The low employment rate, ranging between 76% to 90% unemployed in Europe (2014) and around 85% in the U. S., underscores the ongoing social issue surrounding the employment of autistic individuals. A mere 32. 5% of young autistic adults have jobs compared to 78% of their neurotypical peers. Key statistics reveal that only 1. 1% of autistic adults access publicly funded employment services. Furthermore, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimate that 2.
1% of U. S. adults have Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), facing high unemployment rates despite necessary skills. Among young adults on the autism spectrum, a significant number do not have jobs or educational plans shortly after high school. National data from recent years indicates that many autistic adults remain unemployed or underemployed, even with required skills.
📹 Spotting Autism in Adults – Common Signs and Traits of Autistic Adults
Hi! I’m Orion Kelly and I’m Autistic. On this video I share some of the top signs and traits to look out for to spot an #autistic adult.
I’d love a article about how to get across to neurotypicals that direct communication is such an important safety net. If I ask a question, it’s only because I want that specific information. If I tell them something, it’s because I think them having that information will benefit the both of us. There’s no subtext or ulterior motive, it’s exactly as it appears at face value. If I ask a simple question and the other person keeps giving an unrelated (to me) answer, it brings back the longstanding fear and trauma of not being understood with no way out.
Number 9 would be solved if everyone just communicated with words instead of just assuming people can read your mind and just know your non-verbals. This goes for any kind of relationship regardless of neurodivergency or neurotypical people. The worst communicators are those that don’t speak up. Communication is a key ingredient.
Self Diagnosed 50 yr old who has struggled her entire life trying to figure out what was wrong with me! I am not depressed – I LIKE to be alone and NEED my alone time 🙃🙂 – Realizing I’m not alone PRICELESS! 🥰 THANK YOU so much for making these articles 😊 *Change – NO NO NO lol Routines 😊 *I wished I were not socially awkward but always have been. I’d sometimes think; “… If I could be a fly on the wall (invisible) and go to social events where no one bothers me I could do that and it would be great! It’s the interaction I struggle with
I have heard it said – and my experience of my autistic partner seems to back this up – that the primary (displayed) emotion of an autistic is frustration. Frustration at their coworker’s incompetence, frustration at interruptions to their tasks, frustration at NT non-logical/over-emotional approach, frustration with themselves, and so on. It is difficult because it is rare that an offhand comment or question I make or ask doesn’t start to feel like contempt, which is a sure indication that a (neurotypical) relationship is in trouble.
I’m not sure if you have done a article on this yet. But I think its important for NT people to understand just how much we have to adjust and accommodate them. In order to function in this world without wanting to just fully exit from it… I had to go out of my way to learn how NT people behave, studying psychology and body language to just be able to interact a lot easier. I am WILDLY accepting of so much differences in people. If I find myself not liking a persons behavior I really think about if that is just my hang up or if what they are doing is like a boundary cross and inappropriate. I sit there and ask myself some questions. Like: is this hurting me? Is this making it harder for me to do my job? Is this an intentional action from them? And sometimes NT people are just weird sometimes and that is okay, just because I don’t agree with it doesn’t mean I need to punish it with social shame or whatever it is they do when they don’t know how to accept differences/oddities in others. A good chunk of NT people are almost just incapable of accepting anyone outside the norm. Too many times has an NT person told me that I have to change to better suit the situation when I wasn’t even doing anything wrong, they just where uncomfortable and I was asking them for a small accommodation like please take me at face value I say what I mean. I need to think on this more because I know I’ve done a lot to alter my behavior to make others more comfortable at the expense of my comfort its about time they did the damn say, that is the making of a good society, we tolerate the differences that don’t pose risk to: our health, safety, finances, mental health, housing, food and similar.
Honesty is SO important to me! I had an ex lie to me about messing around with someone else. If they had come to me right after and admitted it, yeah I wouldn’t have been happy but we could have talked it out and maybe worked something out. Instead they lied to me for months and only told the truth when they dumped me for the other person, and then when I understandably got angry they were like “I knew you’d be upset!” WELL NO SH!T I AM.
#2 is so, so important. Whatever passion holds them, they need it. A lot. It can be anything from model trains to article games to painting to birdwatching to reading the classics to collecting baseball cards to coding to jigsaw puzzles? But it is something that person in your life requires as an outlet, and nothing good can come from failing to respect that. You may as well slap them in the face as dismiss or mock that thing they take joy in more than anything else.
In hs i was in love with a possibly autistic girl. It was absolutely aggravating. To love someone so much and have them just be like “Cool, thanks, get away from me” crushed my spirits. It especially didn’t make sense because she would date guys, who had a very specific look. Years later i reconnected with her, and its still very hard to resist her charm. All she wants is to live in seclusion with a mountain of books. We’re very close friends, though i haven’t actually seen her since ’08. Honestly, i think that if i truly love her the best thing i can do is give her what she wants: to be left tf alone. On my end it never seemed fair, like i was a sucker. But i understand that shell never reciprocate my love because she just can’t. And i have to accept that thats ok.
Orion, I am in tears because I didn’t know how to “explain” my autistic “ways”..ESPECIALLY the alone time. She always thinks I’m avoiding her and I end up babbling nonsense and awkwardly walking to my room and sitting there worrying about her feelings. I torn between coming out of my room and hanging out with her then I’m like “NOOO I CANT! I NEED TO BE ALONE!! I’m going to show her this article. It will help so much. Thank you 🙏🏻 ❤
I’m honestly close to tears after perusal this. My wife and I have been together for 15 years and there’s always been something “wrong” with her. From bouts of acting out, lack of perceptible emotion, needing to lock herself away in a room, making excuses for behaviour and just about every other single trait in these 10 points. I have considered Autism for some time but owing to the constraints of my wife’s ability to have an open conversation, it is difficult to make much headway. However, I am intending to show her this article in the spirit of love, because every single point resonates with me and I believe, will with her. I am completely disarmed by what I have just listened to and my compassion is rejuvenated. I will now actively seek a path to help my wife and honestly, myself to better understand her neuro diversity. I have only ever wanted her happiness, but in the face of some behaviours, this has been very difficult at times. Thank you so much, this was exactly what I needed to hear.
Thank You for your website. I have an autistic grandson and I’m learning so much from you. I thought with time (he’s 14), he would develop more typical coping abilities. I understand now that it is not delayed neuro development but an alternate type of neuro system. It changes my expectations for both of us and has me thinking about finding new approaches to help him.
Special interests. Yes! My Neurotypical family don’t like how I obsess so much over them haha! They’re always like ‘Why do you buy expensive concert tickets and merch'(believe it or not, this came from my brother-in-law who is a musician btw). When I go on and on about my musicians at home, my Mum tells me agressively that I’m obsessing. My family are a bit ignorant on the ‘research’ part and it annoys me 😅
Thank you Orion, me and my husband just had a fight over the weekend, because he just can’t stand to listen to my reasoning and what I need to say. He can’t stand to give me the time and the attention I need to be heard. It doesn’t help that he gaslights me, and manipulates the situation. And I will just start out one sentence and he will steamroll me and talk over me the whole time. So I’m going to send him this article to watch I hope he watches it. You explained it so well. You’re simply awesome 😎👍🏻
These articles are hugely helpful for a parent of two autistic adult children who have been master maskers. It’s only now they are in their twenties that I am learning what makes them tick. There is so much guilt and sadness for mothers who never recognised or understood the particular needs of their much loved twice exceptional kids growing up. It’s a case of ” if only I’d known then what I know now”. The good side is having access to really helpful articles like these which open a window into the world of autism.
Thank you so much! I raised 2 autistic sons, oldest not dx. This article could have saved us from so much pain and misunderstanding! I did learn most of these things from my youngest but hearing from you confirms that I wasnt ‘spoiling’ my child as many accused. One topic I would add, there is no communication when in lizard brain (stress). thx!!
I can adjust to socializing, if in the mood or prepared in advance but there is an expiration. My bff is used to talking a lot and I just listen but then I tell her one time, now I just don’t want to talk, just do my relaxation in space, let’s just be quiet while I detoxify or destress. At first she was offended, but then she realized later I need it. I would love for your wife to have one article talk about how she adjusts to you. Like I really admire her for loving you and understanding you. Like how do you talk about these things?
One thing about me that I don’t know if it’s common with other Autistic people is that my alone time doesn’t always mean I wanna be physically alone, depending on the people I’m around. Like If I’m relaxing at home with my nieces, I’d rather be in my room because they’re too young to stay calm and quiet for long and I can’t socially recharge. But if I’m sitting at home with my roommate, who’s really chill and we can just turn on anime or a paranormal article to watch in silence, I can be around someone while still charging my social battery. Is anyone else like this?
OMG Orion! I needed to hear this. I made the mistake of asking my neurodivergent husband whether I could still wear sleeveless tops – I was so upset by his ‘honesty’. He also said how old I have started to look. He has never had a diagnosis, but I am getting it! My neurotypical friends just thought he was being cruel. But he’s all the things you describe, thank you ❤
I like how you pointed out how the truth can be used flexibly by neurotypical people, with good intention. Your advice for people trying to properly interpret what might seem to them as excessive and hurtful honesty is great. BUT… that same discrepancy, when viewed from the other side can create another problem, or at least it does in my experience. As an autistic person gains awareness of the fact that other people can and do use lies as a form of social lubricant, it can become difficult to deal with the uncertainty about what someone is really trying to convey. Do you have any advice for an autistic person to help them navigate this challenge?
Special interests are what make autistic children into perfect homeschoolers: all a homeschooling parent has to do is get to know their child and then ask them what they are interested in. When the child is very young, this could be in the form of suggestions or looking through a picture book or going to visit places – toy shops, museums, libraries, police stations, fire stations, dentists, doctors, etc. The child will very rapidly find something they absolutely have to know everything about it. A trip to Waterloo triggered a fascination for Napoleon in a 7yo who learned all about the wars, 19th century history, politics, European geography, etc to the point where a visitor who happened to mention Waterloo was rewarded with what they called the best explanation of Napoleon and Waterloo, ever. Another interest by another child was anything to do with numbers and so by 7yo was teaching the parent algebra. Between the ages of 5 and 20, interests pursued independently (except for parent involvement in providing resources and conversation) covered mathematics, history, politics, literature, music, humour, linguistics, philosophy, Ancient Egypt, Ancient Greece, Warhammer, Pharaoh, sociology, theatre, Dungeons and Dragons, geography (we traveled quite a bit), geology, ballet, karate, english, french, flemish, latin, greek and a short dabble in japanese. They completed a foundation course with the Open University (between 13 and 16) in Climate, science, social science and poetry. So, yeah, special interests are monumentally important and the homeschooled autistic children I know were the best educated teenagers I have ever met, including the one whose special interests were ‘only’ music, reading, drawing and role playing, because he learned all the other subjects by talking with his siblings and listening to their conversations.
This is one of your best articles I’ve seen I think. It’s definitely applicable much more widely than just romantic partners. I wish more people that were around me understood some of these things. This is all so better stated and more articulate than I think I could ever do in person. And sometimes messages like these land better when heard from a third party
In addition, 2 things….1) It does not take social interaction to exhaust an autistic person. A high level of concentration on a task can do the same thing. Also, parenting is over the top. I am a mother and an entrepreneur, which works for me having my own business but is also exhausting because I have to put in many hours of high level of concentration (like right now). 2) Add into the mix that on top of being Autistic, also being an empath. I know this sounds impossible, but I am both as are many folks I know (mostly but not limited to women). To go into a social environment where we have to mingle, it feels like walking through tar to have to navigate all the negative emotions people emit without realizing it. It’s not just the negative. It’s almost like you are highly charged magnet and the “stuff” people “discharge” grabs onto you. . You pick up on hate, envy, pride, etc. With the Autistic brain on overload just from the stimulation and all of that, and then viewing everything in black and white, it is the most exhausting and irritating thing in the world. It truly feels like walking through tar to me. I can not stand public gatherings of more than 3 or 5 people. It literally makes me so agitated that I have to leave. I get angry for many reasons, including that I can’t do what comes normally to neuro typical people. They enjoy this, and I hate it. It seriously feels like cruel punishment to me, so I avoid those situations as much as possible. Unfortunately, because I can’t do these events, I have lost friendships.
I am very new to all of this and feeling completely overwhelmed as a newly self-diagnosed adult (and yes, I am in the process of starting down the road of medical diagnosis and help), and your #10 point is SO TRUE and honestly made me cry because “I don’t even know who I am” are the words I didn’t know to put to how I feel anymore. The past few years have seen me hit multiple breakdowns and burnout so badly that I wound up unemployed for a while because I just couldn’t cope anymore. I’m terrified that my wife is fed up with me and secretly wants to divorce me (or that I am so messed up that she’ll want to down the road even if she doesn’t right now). I don’t have a point really, I just have no one I feel safe talking with about any of this who can help me figure out how to learn how to navigate my life in a way that’s healthy for both me and my family. I appreciate your articles more than I can put into words. Thank you (and Mom on the Spectrum too, I’ve been perusal many of her articles recently as well).
I have everything you described in this article, I self diagnosed myself just listening to other people’s experiences. What I can add is that I constantly feel like people surrounding me are stupid and I can’t understand why. For me they don’t even have a common sense when doing different things where for me every solution is so obvious.
You’ve helped me so much sir. I was ALWAYS different to everyone in school (minus the friends I have). Always wanted alone time after, always had special interests (right now working on a personal project of an informative map of Los Angeles to post so people may use ) Social interactions daily at my job really helped me with the subconscious triggering of sweating talking to new people. This website has really helped me with my journey learning of my neurodivergency. Haven’t yet gone to diagnose out of subconscious fear.
When I introduced my friend who was figuring out they were autistic to another friend who has diagnosed AuDHD, instead of just throwing them at each other, I gave them each others names, pronouns, specific big triggers for each person, like three common interests, and just a little flavor text blurb so they could get the feeling before being directly introduced. Then introduced them in a chill environment with a common activity we were all interested in, online article game. I stated that it wasn’t like, a big thing to have to stay and commit and either can leave/drop out of chat whenever, but pushed to make it as low expectation as possible. The figuring out friend said it changed their entire standards for how they met new people, and appreciated it again when I introduced them to more of my regular friend group. They all get along really well even when I’m not around, and I think taking out that initial bump of just trying to make small talk to some random person really helped. Terrific articles, I teared up a bit when I realized I was a friend’s safe person, catalyzing their autistic self discovery journey.
I just started dating someone who is on the autism spectrum (he told me, in passing) and I can definitely recognise these traits in varying degrees. What’s funny is that it’s actually made me more aware of myself and my quirks- I don’t think I’m autistic but I am highly sensitive, require a lot of alone time, prefer brutal honesty, and don’t we all mask to some degree …! Anyway, really appreciate the insight as it just makes everything so much easier to understand and give space for our romance to blossom in a relaxed way ❤
6:18 YES. I v dealt with this all my life. I ask them openly to be honest and they STILL lie to “not hurt me”. BRUUUH…. ppl just care about defending and shielding THEMSELVES. it s never about me. As an autistic person living and working with Autistic people I can tell that to us IT S ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON. we r simply better as people in many areas imho. even if our social prowess is limited ( but only because the world we live in is more geared towards people with different needs ).
11:30 Socialising – OMG I can relate here. I’m not on the spectrum (well… possibly a little) but for other reasons social anxiety is a thing and meeting new people, especially in larger groups, is hard. But feeling guilty about that, and especially if someone compounds that by even hinting that someone might be offended if one doesn’t attend…. that one really stings, and ends up just having a negative effect on one’s ability to face such situations the next time.
One of the thee best articles I have viewed so far in my neurodiverse journey. Orion you ARE doing awesome and all the crap you had to go through with the government meeting stuff, thanks for talking about it and saying exactly the truth of it all. The US of A is doing the same stuff, really. And I can’t even tolerate using any more government agencies, except the ones that we use for my veteran husband’s health, and that is hard to tolerate, but its best for our situation for now.
13:06 Idk why i was never able to express this appropriately to my ex. I loved her family, some of her friends but the level of gatherings and hangouts, for her I’m sure felt normal, but was just hit after hit. I’d reach a level of just not being able to speak to anyone and seeming so rude. thanks so much for your work.
I have recently moved back to the area where I grew up, after years of caring for elderly parents who passed away. I have a lot of old friends here, going back to when I was pretty good at masking. I have lost those skills and I have been avoiding them because I’m embarrassed. I’m not sure how to handle it. But it helps to know I’m not alone
This may be the most important article you’ve ever made (for me). I can’t thank you enough. It’s very powerful that a man living in Australia can help a woman living in Mexico so much. I admire your ability to be so vulnerable about everything. I’m sure it causes you significant discomfort but it really does help so many others.
Orion, I am a 42 (almost 43) year old woman. I was diagnosed ADHD and “unofficially” diagnosed Autistic as well. I said “unofficially” because my psychiatrist has confirmed ASD but due to jurisdictional limitations, he is unable to give me the official “paperwork” as it were. In order for that to happen I would have to see a neuropsychologist and that will cost almost $3000CAD. Because I don’t have the “official” piece of paper I often feel like an imposter. I feel as though people will think I’m lying. Some people in my life actually HAVE dismissed it due to the fact that I don’t have that official “proof”. It doesn’t matter that my psychiatrist has said it and that I’ve since had two other psychologists agree (we had been discussing other matters and the topic came up. I’m the end they agreed with my psychiatrist.) How do can we cope with imposter syndrome as it relates to a late ASD diagnosis and how can we make those who would not believe, to see the truth? Or is this my sense of justice just clouding my vision and is there in fact no way to persuade them? TIA
am here to learn about myself thank you 🙂 0:50 and some night’s sleeps cuz my dumb head cant process emotions without starting a war within. 7:00 it s the opposite with me, I am hyper emotional and emotionally expressive, to the point where I overwhelm people if i allow myself be true to who I am. lol. by processing emotions I meant dealing with loadout after I experience emotions that stress me. my entire body goes to war.
Sensory – or both hypo- & hyper- sensitivities. i love rough towels, but hate pretty much anything but plant-fibre clothing. i’m really really good at filtering out some sounds, but others will drive me batty and i can’t filter them. And it all depends on the day. Very spiky spectrum, this! Autistic brain – we also often don’t realise what cues we send out!
the first one. I’m an extravert. I love being around people. I love to interact sometimes. But I have to actively process often. 2 1/2 hrs is the longest I’ve gone before shutting down. Usually it’s around 40 min to 1 1/2 hr. And then, if shutting down, I can put some music on and up and sit by myself for a bit to process and recharge. If melting down, then there’s probably a physical need I haven’t addressed.
16:10-16:14 the only time i masked was yesterday in the middle of my consumer behaviour lecture, when we had a 10 minute break. And i turned my phone on, and i went onto my college’s whatsapp groupchat. And, everyone else was texting about how this lecturer extended the deadline for part of our assignment. On top of that, people were joking about how he’s being laissez-faire with the whole assignment; one girl even texted “I’ll be on my deathbed by the time the extention is over”. And, I wanted to reply to all of the messages, but at the same time, i didn’t wanna seem desperate for social attention. So, i only replied to one text, because I knew if I replied to them all, that I’d seem like an attention seeker 😭
Thank you Orion for sharing; I found this article super helpful and interesting. A topic suggestion is to discuss the differences between highly sensitive and autistic romantic partners, if there are any major changes in how you support them. Is it just these things but to a lesser degree or is there something else I would need to know if my partner was highly sensitive but not autistic?
How did Temple THRIVE & not just “survive” never being handled with “independency gloves”? Sometimes our challenges are what make us flourish & expand those boxes created by others that no body but an autistic person would be able to re-define. I think we should be careful with expectations of redefining spaces that hinder our opportunity for growth & society to benefit by our existence in a communal environment. It is our job to take care of ourselves- we are LUCKY if we have others who want to participate. Thanks for sharing your insights.😊
Any one else find they can’t have plans or routines. Which is a form of a routine. For me if there is nothing planned then less can change as it was planned. Once planned it’s set in stone to and change then causes me huge problems. At the same time not planned can mean not doing anything. Depends on my state at the time. Example, on road trip with family. A parks person suggested drive up this mountain to see the flowers in bloom. So we did, not an issue as we hadn’t planned things. Still it did get to me just less so than if we had planned to be certain place and certain times. But a plan came up. We used washroom and this nasty sanitizer in outhouse. I had urge to wash my hands so the plan was hit the gas station in town when came down the Mountain. My wife decided she wanted keep driving and not stop. Well that caused me to almost melt down as we sped past the gas station. So I guess my routine is no plans.
Uummmmmm usually your articles make total sense…. this time it got me thinking about how some have no special interest and some have learnt the white lies bit. It doesn’t make sense and my first thought is always truth but I’ve learnt not to always say it I can 99% of the time figure out when it’s not called for. 🤷🏽♀️ just like everything else things vary Edit: OK that masking and identity thing was eyeopening! Thanks
That point in time where my special interest involves going to expensive theme parks that has thousands of strangers and sensory triggers just to ride it. The special interest of rollercoasters is no easy interest to have especially if you go with someone who’s terrified of them. They make me feel the complete opposite of what meltdowns make me feel. SENSORY HEAVEN BUT SO EXPENSIVE AND FAR OFF😭😭 so my question is…how is my partner supposed to engage in my passion if he terrified of them😅
valuable information, the more i hear, the better i understand. im going to share this with a family member. shes really understanding, but this may clarify a lot. Thank you Mate. Perfect production! I appreciate you so much. Glad i found you. Is there a vid on sleep difficulties? seems as if i recall something… i go to sleep appx 8pm, cuz im so tired, then wake up at 3a. thats enough sleep for sure. but during the day i get exhausted. i feel thats got do do with my neurodivergent brain. i wake up fully aware & ready to seize the day. i get so much accomplished some mornings. its a sleep disorder i suppose. do you have any input. i need to read your book again. maybe its in there. my memory is jumbled at best. Thank you.
I believe my 38 year old brother in law is autistic but has never been diagnosed. He’s married with a child but he struggles with social interactions as well as communication. However he has done some pretty shady things concerning money and he refuses to talk about it. It’s frustrating to say the least..
What do you suggest for dealing with bad relationships with the autistic person when they won’t even get diagnosed? I have been learning about my own late ADHD diagnosis and it has lead me to so much info on autism, it is very clear to me now that my father is autistic on top of ADHD. But he thinks conditions like this are “fake” for doctors to make more money. I have previously suggested family therapy to him, he won’t do it. He doesn’t read emotions or express his own feelings so spent my whole life thinking he doesn’t give a crap about anyone else. I want to try working it out but I don’t know how to adjust when he won’t even acknowledge it, let alone attempt any change on his end. I have already tried the direct approach and he completely ignored me. With ADHD it has helped a lot to be understanding of where my struggles come from but I still have to take accountability if I hurt someone based off of my symptoms. I don’t know what the equivalent of that would be for autism? Basically what’s the middle ground between understanding this is how their brain works and the non-autistic person being hurt and needing some kind of action to mend things?
As an autistic guy, who has an autistic girlfriend, it hasnt exactly been a piece of cake either. With NT’s, at least i usually know what to expect from experience, with her, its all different. We dont really have the same triggers. I can handle crowds just fine, but i have a sensitivity to light. She can walk around in a brightly lit store and be fine but when it starts getting busy, thats when shes antsy. We both need our alone time, and we end up spending too much time alone sometimes. We usually remedy this by planning a day for us and it works out just fine. I think this article is helpful not just for NT’s, but ND’s as well. We’re all different, and we all need certain things to keep us happy.
I don’t have a diagnosis, but given that I couldn’t manage to make friends growing up, had obsessive habits around reading and collecting various items (stamps, paper currency, coins, comincs, insects, etc) and can easily spend days on end not speaking to anyone while working on a project, and am.known for being “cold and blunt”, I suspect there is a good chance I am neuroatypical. I am.ok with being “different”, I am just being me.
I think I’ve found the right girl but my parents always seem to think the worst about every person I meet. They seem to be trying to destroy any chance of a relationship I can get. I’ve been unsuccessful in my attempts to convince them that my judge of character has changed, but I’ll just have to date her in secret. It’s making me feel depressed and have high anxiety. There’s nothing I can do as I live with them… Feeling really sad😢
Excellent article. Thanks for your time & energy. We can replace “autistic” by the word “amazing”. The masking confused me recently. I didn’t want to mask, but my brain did it automatically, even just to talk 2 minutes to a person. It’s just my brain know the person is neurotypical and is on survival mode, it’s automatic, I can’t control it, I don’t decide to mask, my brain decide. I know how it can be difficult sometimes to record article and edit it, with the difficulty with transitions and executive functions. I send you my virtual support. Do all autistic have a “Visual snow” vision ?
Great article as usual. Maybe might just be my problem, im on my own have been for sometime, but its nearly impossible to meet anyone anymore.. inter net dating is a No No. Was married had a few relationships and not long found out im autistic after my 21 yr old daughter got digionse with it. Explains why i broke up with a really nice guy a few yrs ago- it was his strawberry vap😮 i never understood why it SERIOUSLY P***D ME OFF LoL
Orion, i am curious into the dichotomy of being an autistic single father that has been almost completely alone in raising two toddler boys for almost five years now; one is a nonverbal-yet 🙏 six year old and the other is a neurotypical five year old. Their mother is a malignant narcissist and decides to inject herself when conveniently good timing for social media posts or in need of attention/supply. We have no custody arrangements and i fear terribly that iif i get diagnosed that it will be used against me. I also fear beyond the most pregnant of words that i perhaps am not what is best for my neurotypical child. What are your thoughts on balancing both children alone as a late self-diagnosed autistic father?
That’s why I prefer to stay single, so I don’t have to deal with all that stuff. I just don’t have the energy for a relationship. As for a new topic, I do have one, but I fear there’s not enough research to do a article about it. And that is autism and the (peri)menopause. The (peri)menopause is under researched and discussed as it is. People still think oestrogen and progesteron are simply related to do the reproductive system, but women have receptors for them everywhere, including testosterone, which is not just a male hormone. A lot of these receptors are also in the brain. So when hormone levels start to fluctuate in the period before the menopause, (=the perimenopause) which starts on average around the age of 45, (but it can also happen earlier, or due to surgery sadly), it can cause a lot of mental symptoms, symptoms similar to autism and also ADHD. Such as anxiety, depression, being over stimulated and problems concentrating, unable to sleep and so on……And similar physical symptoms as well, such as restless legs, bowel issues, exhaustion. Even though the cause is obviously different, the symptoms overlap and so they can get worse once you become perimenopausal. So I really think there should be awareness for this.
Are you masking when you speak to your online community? I could see the expressing of what you do to “do” life with the rest of us neurotypicals all over the place would be exhausting. Or is there a sense of relief or release to educate us about your “world” and how to navigate the one we both see through different eyes?
Please I want to understand and make things work. What are some ways or advice to balance life with and dating an autistic partner. I want to learn to be there, and I see him trying to accommodate me too. Sometimes it’s hard to navigate. Any tips for alone time? Or to be okay without the emotional intimacy? Or any other challenges.
Is it possible for an autistic person to need emotional intimacy in a relationship? I struggle with this with the person I am seeing. I feel like he ignores my feelings and seems disinterested when I share good news or my struggles with him. I have trouble identifying my feelings, but I also experience them deeply and sometimes need someone to be of support and validate. Has anyone else experienced this?
I had an autistic boyfriend. I knew there was something off, but I couldn’t understand it. It wasn’t so much of alone time as much as it was a distance and lack of communication that made me feel uncomfortable. 1 day he wanted me to move in with him yet he couldn’t say he cared about me or loved me the next week we broke off. Very painful. I never knew where I stood or what was going on. He was beyond special interests I have middle class values he was beyond my values he was very into status I like status but not to the point I need to join the upper echelons of society where I know I don’t belong. He was very logical and rigid. But he couldn’t show caring
Thank you for this article it was very helpful in better understanding my autistic partner. But my question as a neurotypical who is married to someone who is neurodivergent at what point can expect him to try to meet my needs. I am trying to understand his triggers and what he needs but what about mine?
I wonder if growing up in a unsafe environment that teaches (literally) the autistic child that they need to lie. If that can overcome base autistic truth telling? I feel like that was kinda my experience? Lying was a way to ensure safety so now it’s a tool. It’s not my first instinct or what I’ll do in a safe situation but its there.
As an autistic person, I need to know WHY things happen. Why am I getting this pain ? What is it due to ? What is the physical process ? What does the medication do ? I can stay awake for hours, processing how I would solve a physical issue eg The rain is pouring towards my house. Causing a puddle. How do I solve this issue. I need to be understood ! I will sit with someone & painstakingly try to get them to understand why I said or did something. It rarely works, but I need to be understood in a confusing world. I get so frustrated if people, especially partner does not understand why I said or did something, especially when they think it was malicious, which it never is 🌼
Hey so quick question for anyone that can answer. Would the autistic person still want me to sugar coat things? Or would they just see that as lying as well? Btw this article is a blessing, my boyfriend is somewhere on this autistic spectrum and I’m having trouble navigating during tough times. Thank you so much
My friend has stopped talking to me now, he has autism and adhd. He was acting strange a few months ago too, so I decided to do some research to see if I could get answers. Upon doing so I discovered things about myself, and now I’ve started the ball rolling 47 years young. I do have a question though. If I have autism and adhd how come I haven’t been through similar. Could it be that I have been through it, only I don’t fully understand what’s happening yet or don’t know what to look out for. Could it be because I don’t deal with people that often, as a result I don’t unknowingly mask that much?
I am sick of analysing my brain to find out if its me-my autism, or ‘their’ normalcy in their NT persona, that is causing a specific difficulty or problem. I am certainly on the autism spectrum and now I know it is liberating to know this, but….there are prison bars between myself and ‘them’ now because my justification has freed me as an individual, and I know what I have to deal with, but my loved ones thought they ‘knew’ me, but now stand on the other side of those ‘bars’ in shock and confusion, and they lean on ‘logic’ to analyse me and they see ME as the disordered freak when things go haywire. They cannot grasp this masking thing which needs to be addressed and dealt with, and unlike us, who can attain help and acceptance for our difference, where do THEY go to, to deal with their side of the difficulty, ……. after all, they think they are ‘normal’, superior, and in some cases, acceptable, in their snobbery when it is there. They, although they may actually understand our neurodiverse difficulties, still have a barrage of problems to deal with as piggies in the middle, when they have to put up with us being rejected and snobbed out by THEIR own families and friends who think they know everything but know bugger all about OUR autistic struggles, sorrows, fears, insecurities etc, all because the NTs don’t want their boats rocked or social comfort zones ruffled or disturbed. This is a very real struggle for newly diagnosed auties and I am wondering…..will it always be the case?
I am being berated the past two weeks for being evil to my friends. Two people have kicked me out of their homes after saying I could rent a room. They did this f because (and this is no lie) I took out the trash, I threw away soda bottles full of atmosphere, I washed dishes, I vacuumed, I cleaned my space, I cleaned the bathroom… That, as I am told, is incredibly disrespectful, disruptive, and evil. I don’t show gratitude for being given shelter. And one was made that I didn’t show him “love” as in yeah he wanted me in bed showing my gratitude!! I hate this planet. I don’t belong here. I want off. I didn’t agree to any of this.
Hey Orion, one of my daughters is as far as I know neurotypical and she thinks that it is weird if we just except that we are autistic she thinks we should be searching for a cure? Am I crazy to believe that my and my kid’s autism is something good or should I believe it is bad? My son believes his Autism is good? So if he thinks it’s good who am I to argue with that right? Yes we are more of a challenge but in saying that we have talents that are borderline genius. How can that be bad?
Hi Orion. I am married to a 49 year old man and his mother just told me he is autistic. We’ve been married about 4 years and had a terrible time with communication which I now believe is due to autism. He seems to believe that if I mention the word autism, I am calling him “stupid”, even when I try and explain that there is nothing wrong with being autistic and that I’m just trying to understand things more clearly to help our marital issues which are so severe we are almost at the point of divorce. Do you have any suggestions on how I could help him understand my perspective and possible become curious about the impacts this is having on our marital issues? His mother never had him officially diagnosed and only had him diagnosed as ” hyperactive” abd had hom on medication for years. I feel as if he is defensive and twists my words whenever I try and have a conversation about our marital issues, and the conversation never goes any where…Thanks, Beth
Orion…I love your content and I’m sure you’ve got this feedback before, but the noise in the beginning and end of your podcasts is SUPER jarring every single time as someone on the spectrum and with noise sensitivites. Much love to you but was wondering if you would consider going about that intro/ending differently. Thank you!
I was forced to mask because of my narcissistic mother she couldn’t deal with it and with my situation with the person that has a disability and shame on me so I had to mask and it was forced on me so I asked all my life and I don’t know how to act the way I am who is my my own autistic and it was a lot to deal with with the stress of school and mask all the time
I’m with and autistic person. The talk so space and and hyper focus on their phones. It’s ok saying give them space and time alone but when you live with someone and you don’t see them all day while your two are at work. But when you get him they have no space for you that leads to death of the relationship. What’s the alternative
i have one. so im been reading people like me with autism, that have fear of commitment or fear of abandonment, from a artikal that i have read, if you have’nt got the good upbringing from your young aga. it can be difficult in relationship later on. i have that right now where ( on a autist form said people with autisme are very honestly ) yet in my relationship i was the oppisted, what damage me relationship with my girl friend, and she could’nt understand because on the artikal it said that people with autisme should be honestly yet i was the oppisted in relationship what pain me, and i did’nt know why until i did read this on artical “fear of commitment or fear of abandonment” could you do inside into that?
My love language with my Michael and his cues when it works. Texting works ❤ Standing operating procedures at times Michael : Christine I do not mind you reinforcing your things/thoughts in text. I encourage it. It helps me to do the same as well. Christine: Oh Michael 💫😉👍 Here it comes 😊👍 Hugs and affections I love you Michael: begrudgingly hugs back Because I understand you need this Christine: 😘 Michael: 🙈 You make my life easier Thank you for loving me/embracing me Christine: 🫂 You’ll always have your space and my heart my love Now get down stairs and eat dinner Hey it ain’t glamorous but These tiny texts send me over the moon I get my Michael texts hugs and loves My signals His signals I absolutely adore this Man Neurotypical Woman with a Beautiful Autistic Man
✅✅✅The default mode being HONEST and relishing the beauty of pure intentions. When I was younger I found my mirror image in… Star Trek’s Mr. Spock 🖖🎊 because he struggled with being 1/2 human, yet 1/2 Vulcan and raised in the Vulcan way so not fully fitting in anywhere, especially challenging being surrounded by those strange huMAN 👽lol😂🤣😂 This is how I explained to others what being autistic can be like.
I really struggle with this- Hey, I’d love to take you out to dinner! I will take you anywhere you want to go! Where do you want to go? Oh! Thank you! Thank you. I just got home from work and I so tired. I’d love to not cook dinner! I want to go to “X”. No. I don’t want to go there, I do not like the “X, because “T”. Ok. No problem, I love eating at the “R” ! Let’s go there! No. I hate that place. Ok, you pick a place, I don’t care if it’s fast food, I’m so happy I’m not cooking. I told you I’d take you out to eat! Just tell me where you want to go! I did and you won’t go there! I’m confused! We sometimes just go home. What’s my clue.?
I have a question. Why do people never elaborate on how autistics are “different”? I’ve heard SO many people refer to them as that word, or say they think “differently,” and yet no one ever defined said word or give examples. Is there vagueness–saying different and not specifying how so–deliberate? Is there a secret that is not to be shared? Does my question make sense?
Hi Orion, no partner here, it is already difficult enough to live my life. Do you know how the neigbours solve the problem that they have an aspie as a neighbour (me)??? Well, they produce so much noise, like ridiculous much noise altogether that I really must find another place to live. Unfortunately it can take years to find a place to live (with a normal rent that is). In the meantime, already about 15 years I become totally *#&;%}√✓©¢!!!!!! Soon it is not necessary anymore to find a house, if I am not here anymore. Thanks NT’s !!
I suspect that there’s a big difference between autistic people who know they’re autistic and accept it about themselves, and those who don’t know. Everything you describe about autism is my brother (or one of my brothers), but he doesn’t see himself as autistic. It’s just never come up for discussion. I think a lot of his energy is spent managing his inner struggles and/or masking them. He, therefore, has very little space to be interested in other people – which comes across as insensitive and uncaring. Even when he’s in a good mood, his way of being “loving” is to talk about what interests him and to share that with others. It’s very self-centric. Edit: I disagree with your statement that neurodivergent people lie as a way of being kind.
Orion, as a just diagnosed adult I am becoming very frustrated by the way autism is portrayed specifically by 90% of youtube content. If I look up sleep help for autistic people it’s about “the child”. If I look up morning routines it’s the “son-rise protocol”. When autistic children become adults to they throw them in a well? How come every thing is patronizing garbage made to make people around autistic people feel okay? Does this frustrate you? Does it frustrate other autistic people? I feel like a problem that is valid only in how i impact others lives whenever I watch these things :/ Thank you for not being that way.
Good i was born german honesty is most germans second name so i never really struggled with it although i had two partners thst well one though tellin me white lie even though i explicitly said never liebto me would be a good idear and one strsightup lied to me and used me but i never csme to a point where my honesty was the issue. Anyway what i offten tell people is that there is a difference between saying The cut of this dress does not suit u verry well And This dress looks ugly on u Basicly the same truth but one is articulatet blubtly and the other more sensitive still the same truth I lerned thst when u want to be honest at all costs u still need to consider the emotions of others so i lerned to phrase things directly but niceley😅 took me a while though
Great article, but I could not watch it and still understand what you were saying. I could not stop focusing on your teeth aligning with the strip lights behind you. Under the lights, above the lights, aligned briefly but perfectly, then unaligned, wait – what were you saying? Over and over and over. Finally stopped the article, restarted the article and shut my eyes. It was the only way to concentrate on your message.
Autistic people also need to understand that you need to not expect the neurotypical to adjust everything to please their autistic partner. This is why you guys are not liked very.much, it’s all about you. I’m not neurotypical, I have a personality disorder but I would never expect people to tiptoe around me and give up their needs for me. I am with a guy with aspergers and we both change for each other so we are meeting each others needs. It wouldn’t work otherwise, it would be two selfish people trying to gain power over one another. If you’re not willing to put effort into a relationship without making the neurotypical adapt to you, stick to someone like you instead. Dont be selfish
Is it normal for ASD to continue to make someone out to be a narcissist while all the time they are the ones displaying narcissist behavior. He broke up with me yet continues to invite me over and I decline and he sends text asking questions about who taught me to love men and next a article on narcissist…. He post on fb generally but directed at me regarding relationships… He said his relationship last about 4months…. Well we were at 4months when he broke it off
YES YES YES Lies and dishonesty are not polite how would you know what you may need to work on or change if everyone lies. It just feels like we live in the story of the emperors new clothes. nerotypicals are ohhing and ahhing over nothing but were looking around like is anyone going to tell him he’s naked!?!?
Why are autistic people honest, but they can’t tolerate criticism and honesty from others? My friend freak from if im honestly to him/her. Why must masking?, Be how you want, if u different why be sad from it? Shit on ppl, you won’t fit into the society, and why be stress from it? This I not understand, why u must fit in the society? I ask my friend no need mask if he/she with me, be diferent is ok, u are still part of Earth. How say autistic you like him/her in their language? If I say I like you, he/she, hmm not take it i think.
I’m sorry but is it part of your autistic traits that you’ve to come up with all those cute expressions (Rolling, enlarging your eyes and shaking your head all over, etc)? Aren’t you tired doing all that while talking? I certainly do as a viewer and it’s kind of distracting. Please kindly tone down on that if you do have a choice. If not, please pardon me.