Family life in France has undergone significant demographic changes, with the most common type of family being the French nuclear family. With over 7. 8 million people, French families are deeply interlinked with the country’s cultural heritage and tradition. The basic domestic unit includes all persons living in the same household, who may or may not be related. Single-person households are common, and extended families, especially in rural France, are extremely common. Despite these changes, there is still a strong French societal structure.
The traditional role of the family in everyday French life is changing, but family ties remain strong. The family nucleus takes priority, and socializing primarily revolves around the family nucleus. In the 1960s-1970s, it was common for families to have three or more children, but today, the average size of a French family is about two children. This decline is partly due to changing mentalities, access to contraception, and the rising cost of living.
Conjugal instability has increased the number of single-parent families, favoring the rapid development of reconstituted families. Food prices in France have seen a price increase of around 16 above the European average, making life tough for larger families. The average family in France enjoys a work and family life balance that is one of the world’s best. The French have more time to spend on leisure and socializing, and many children will remain at home until they finish their education.
The French baby boom was characterized by a decline in childlessness and one-child families, a slight increase in two-child families, and a very large number of single-parent families. In 2020, 25 of families in France were single-parent, and 9 were blended, with four in ten living with three or more children. By 2005, this proportion had doubled due to the number of divorces and separations.
The most basic and rapid change concerning births is the decline in birth rates since the 1970s. This trend impacts family structure, with many electing to have children outside of marriage.
| Article | Description | Site |
|---|---|---|
| Living In France: Family Life | Food in France has seen a price increase of around 16% above the European average, making life tough for larger families. It is important to … | francetaxlaw.com |
| France – Transformations Of The Family In France | At the same time, conjugal instability has increased the number of single-parent families, which itself favors the rapid development of reconstituted families. | family.jrank.org |
| What does a French family look like? | The average family size in France has decreased over the years. In the 1960s-1970s, it was common for families to have three or more children. It was very … | ohlalafrenchcourse.com |
📹 How France Has Changed Me: Good & Bad! Living in France as an Expat
After living in France for nearly 5 years now (and living in Paris for most of this time) it is only natural that I have changed as a …
How Do The French Treat Their Children?
French parenting techniques emphasize a unique approach that fosters independence and responsibility in children. Parents encourage kids to tackle difficult tasks themselves, promoting resilience and self-control. From an early age, children are taught effective sleeping habits, the importance of greetings like "bonjour," and to share meals that mirror adult diets, avoiding the common practice of serving them separate or simpler dishes.
Instead of excessive praise, French parents maintain structured mealtimes and clear behavioral expectations, treating children more as adults-in-training. This model encourages maturity and respect, as children learn to socialize and manage their own finances by early adolescence. Expressing affection and engaging in their interests is common, ensuring kids feel cherished.
Discipline is instilled through calm yet firm expectations about behavior in social settings, teaching virtues like patience and delayed gratification. Additionally, French culture imbues children with politeness, using essential phrases like "please," "thank you," and "goodbye." Overall, French parenting celebrates a balance of discipline and independence, resulting in children who are well-behaved, respectful, and capable of navigating the world confidently, supported by state-subsidized childcare and generous maternity leave policies.
How Is Family Life Changing In France?
La structure familiale en France a connu des évolutions significatives, avec des statistiques de 2020 indiquant que 25 % des familles étaient monoparentales et 9 % mixtes, dont près de 40 % avaient trois enfants ou plus. Bien que la famille nucléaire — composée de parents et d'enfants — reste importante, des modèles familiaux variés émergent, reflétant des normes sociales en évolution. Environ 66 % des familles sont de type nucléaire, mais les arrangements familiaux ont diversifié, allant au-delà des modèles traditionnels.
En France, la vie de famille est intimement liée à le patrimoine culturel du pays, valorisant les relations proches. La période d'avant les années 1970 se caractérisait par des structures familiales plus rigides, mais ces dernières décennies ont révélé une diversité croissante. Bien que les rôles familiaux changent, les liens restent forts, et la cellule familiale demeure centrale dans les interactions sociales. La France, principalement catholique, voit encore ces croyances influencer la perception des normes familiales.
De plus, le mariage homosexuel a été légalisé en 2013 et est devenu un reflet de l'évolution des structures familiales. L'âge moyen au premier mariage a également augmenté, avec une majorité d'enfants nés hors mariage. Malgré l'augmentation des familles monoparentales et la tendance vers l'indépendance des jeunes adultes, la plupart des Français accordent une grande importance à leur famille.
How Do Families Live In France?
The nuclear family remains the primary social unit in France, with many children living at home until completing their education. Young adults increasingly opt for independent living once financially stable, while still maintaining familial ties. In 2021, the majority of children lived with two parents, yet over three million were raised by single parents. French family structures are evolving; couples are marrying and having children later in life, resulting in fewer offspring.
Traditionally, families included both nuclear and extended members under one roof, emphasizing strong emotional and social support. Family life in France is characterized by deeply rooted values and traditions that influence societal norms, creating a balance between work and leisure. Meals are typically formal, fostering togetherness. Despite changing family models, including a rise in single-parent households—21% of children live with one parent—the significance of family remains strong.
French families generally maintain closer connections with relatives compared to those in the U. S. or the UK, and living arrangements often provide emotional support, especially for shared activities like morning coffee or evening gatherings. The emphasis on family as a source of mutual support and shared values continues to shape French society and its family dynamics.
Is Family Life Still Important In France?
En dépit des changements, l'importance de la famille demeure fortement ancrée dans la société française, souvent désignée par l'expression "l'importance de la famille". En France, bien que les enfants soient encouragés à explorer le monde, la proximité familiale est une valeur culturelle primordiale, illustrée par des visites fréquentes d'amis et de proches. Une étude gouvernementale récente a montré que la famille nucléaire est encore dominante, tandis que les familles élargies restent courantes, notamment en milieu rural, où les générations cohabitent souvent.
Le mode de vie français favorise un équilibre entre travail et vie de famille exceptionnel, permettant aux familles de profiter de loisirs, de socialisation et de moments conviviaux. Les liens familiaux restent cruciaux pour maintenir le sens de la communauté et l'identité culturelle. Bien que les structures familiales évoluent, les repas partagés et les rassemblements festifs continuent de renforcer ces liens. En France, les familles sont fières de leur patrimoine, et il est courant de transmettre des recettes et des histoires familiales.
La culture familiale en France est un aspect essentiel à connaître pour progresser vers la maîtrise de la langue. Les parents bénéficient également d'un système de congés parentaux robuste, soulignant que la création de famille est souvent perçue comme un devoir social.
Do Grandparents Have Rights In France?
In France, grandparents and great-grandparents possess legal rights to visit their grandchildren, as established by the French civil law code 371-4, which designates grandchildren as being of double descent. Under this law, children have an entitlement to maintain relationships with their grandparents, and only serious concerns can impede this right. Furthermore, specific provisions allow step-parents and grandparents to petition the courts for visitation rights. The European Court of Justice has upheld that these visitation rights extend to grandparents under the Brussels II bis regulation.
French law clearly supports the notion that children should have the opportunity to connect with their extended family, reducing the likelihood of legal disputes. The French legal framework affirms that grandchildren have the right to choose to maintain relationships with their grandparents. In cases of divorce or separation, grandparents have the ability to request reasonable visitation rights, which cannot be arbitrarily denied by parents.
While national legal definitions of grandparents’ rights may vary in other countries, in France, these rights are well defined, ensuring the preservation of family bonds across generations. Nonetheless, circumstances can influence the enforcement of these rights, allowing for court interventions if necessary. The debate on the extent of these rights continues, reflecting the importance of familial connections in society.
What Is French Family Life Like?
Family dynamics in France are characterized by close and warm relationships, often involving significant time spent with extended family members during gatherings. French parents prioritize their children's autonomy and politeness, fostering respect for rules and others. A recent study indicates that 66% of children live in nuclear families, highlighting the importance of family life in France, which enjoys one of the best work-life balances globally.
French families have ample time for leisure, socializing, and meals, reflecting a culture deeply intertwined with its rich heritage and traditions. While traditional family structures typically consist of a father, mother, and children, there is an increasing diversity in family models, including single-parent, blended, and same-sex families. Family is considered a cornerstone of French life, significantly influencing societal values and traditions.
Eating habits in France are more formal, and mealtimes often involve family gatherings, reinforcing strong familial bonds that persist even into adulthood. The French culture generally emphasizes being over doing, with strong family values as a foundation. Overall, France offers excellent conditions for raising children, with access to high-quality healthcare and education, starting from the age of three. Understanding these elements of French family life can shed light on the cultural significance of family and its evolving dynamics.
What Is The Family Type In France?
Les familles en France, bien que le modèle de famille nucléaire reste majoritaire, voient leurs structures se diversifier. En 2021, 68 % des enfants vivaient avec deux parents, tandis que plus de trois millions étaient élevés par un parent seul, représentant 21 % des enfants. En 2020, la famille la plus courante en France était composée d'un couple sans enfants, avec plus de 7, 8 millions de ces ménages. Le nombre de personnes par foyer a progressivement diminué.
Une étude récente a révélé qu'environ 66 % des ménages appartenaient à un modèle nucléaire. En France, la famille traditionnelle comprend généralement un père, une mère et leurs enfants, mais de plus en plus de familles monoparentales, de familles recomposées et de familles homoparentales émergent. Les enfants sont encouragés à jouer à l'extérieur et à participer aux conversations familiales. En 2011, le nombre moyen d'enfants dans les familles françaises était de 1, 9; dans les familles recomposées, ce chiffre était de 2, 3 enfants en moyenne.
Environ 2, 6 millions de ménages étaient composés de mères célibataires avec enfants, contre 612 978 pour les pères célibataires. En milieu rural, les familles élargies sont courantes, occupant souvent les mêmes propriétés pendant des générations. Les liens familiaux sont très forts en France, et l'individualisme est moins encouragé.
How Long Do French Kids Live With Their Parents?
L'âge moyen pour les jeunes Français de quitter le foyer familial est de 23, 5 ans, une augmentation de six mois par rapport à 2008. Cette moyenne cache des disparités significatives, notamment à Paris, où 50 % des jeunes adultes de moins de 25 ans vivent encore chez leurs parents. Une étude montre qu'un grand nombre de jeunes de 18 à 30 ans demeure avec leurs parents, surtout ceux âgés de 25 à 29 ans, en raison notamment des coûts de logement. En France, la famille nucléaire est prédominante, avec 68 % des enfants vivant avec deux parents, tandis que 21 % sont élevés par un parent seul.
La structure familiale est souvent complémentée par le family blended, représentant 11 % des cas. Les enfants sont encouragés à être actifs dans la vie familiale. Dans les écoles françaises, les cours commencent à 8h30 et se terminent à 16h30, avec une pause déjeuner de deux heures. Les familles, bien que généralement petites, entretiennent des liens étroits, organisant régulièrement des rassemblements familiaux.
Malgré des valeurs d’indépendance et de respect, les jeunes Français quittent le foyer familial en moyenne entre 18 et 25 ans, mais beaucoup restent plus longtemps en raison de l'économie. Enfin, 43 % des jeunes adultes continuent à voir leurs parents chaque semaine, montrant que quitter la maison ne signifie pas nécessairement une rupture des liens familiaux.
Are Extended Families Common In France?
In France, particularly in rural areas, extended families are highly prevalent. Many families have occupied the same property for generations, with those who have moved out typically residing only a short distance away. Close relatives like grandmas, aunties, and godparents remain nearby, contributing to the close-knit family structure. As of 2021, over 7. 5 million families were categorized as couples without children, making this the most common family type in France. In contrast, smaller family units are more typical across Europe and North America, where households often consist of three or fewer members.
A significant portion of children in France live in blended families, and weekend gatherings with extended family members are common, highlighting the importance of familial ties in navigating cultural values and economic support. While the traditional family structure still plays a central role, newer trends indicate a shift toward nuclear families. Approximately 66% of families are traditional, while blended families represent about 9%.
Furthermore, a shift in marriage rates and living arrangements reflects changing societal norms. On average, French families contain around 1. 9 children, with larger families defined as having three or more children, emphasizing the complexity of modern family dynamics in France.
📹 5 ways france has changed me 🇫🇷
Bonjour ! my name’s lyndi, and i’ve lived in france for 6+ years. today we’re reflecting on 5 ways that france has changed me since …
I am french and I lived for 5 years in the UK. About the confrontation and debating part, I had the reverse experience. I went there with a debating attitude and people thought I was aggressive. I learnt how to express ideas while considering other people’s point of view, in plain almost relaxed ways. I am back to France, and because I changed and now avoid debates and conflicts, try to be positive and constructive, people think I am fake and that I hide what I really think.
I’m so glad with your comments about how you grew out of over-consummerism in France. I have always believed that one could live completely happy with less of the superficial stuff that society is making us purchase. I think being able to appreciate the small and essential things and losing attach to material goods is the best thing that could happen to you in France However I don’t think that smiling less is a “bad thing”. I think that is one of the main reasons why foreigners think we are rude, because we are not cheerful all the time, but I believe that in France, not smiling to someone does not mean we are being rude or we don’t appreciate being with the person, it simply means that we are not in the mood for smiling. I think that in France, it is more polite to be true with your emotions with someone rather than pretend to be happy just for show. This way, when a French smiles, you usually know it’s genuine 🙂
Definitely find your articles very interesting. I am Canadian but live in a small village in the south west of France, where my husband is from. I think that many of your points are totally true and some of them are the by-product of living in a large city. People here are super friendly! Always saying hello and good day. Even when we walk into a place like a doctor’s waiting room, we say hello and goodbye to the strangers that are waiting. That’s even more friendly than I am used to in my small town in eastern Canada. And the salespeople here are all over you as soon as you walk into a store. Again, always with a hello when you enter the store and a good bye when you leave, even if you didn’t buy anything. My husband, of course, hates waiting in lines and going to busy shopping centers on the weekend. But I usually chaulk that up to being a male trait in general. Lol. And I must say that consumerism is alive and well, at least in our house, with a 3 year old and a baby on the way. But we are not pressed for space like you describe about small apartments in Paris. Just wanted to point out he other side of rural France for people who may have never visited here. So happy I found your website!
Hi not even french Many youtubers publish articles on similar topics as you do: good and bad in France and so on. But so far you’re definitely the best one ever. perusal your articles teaches me as much about my own culture (France) as about yours (Kiwi). You go much deeper in the particulars than any other youtuber. You investigate to understand better french cultural sides that strike you and your self searching skills are amazing. Thank you for living in France, you’re an asset for us ! A little comment on one thing you mentioned in this specific article. I lived abroad for several years and used to have a style of living and dressing a little bit maverick. Back in France it took me a while to find a proper place: a good job, built a familiy… And striving to set me up I went “back in tracks” like trying not to be too peculiar so it’s easier to fit in and I definitely lost something of me on the way. And that compliance is a shame…
Rosie your articles are always so well done and your points so well argued/documented. I liked a lot what you said about consumerism in France and totally agree with it. I feel like the French have a different approach to life and the way to be successful in it. As a French abroad I miss this a lot. You even get the negative points right and explain really well and not just “I don’t like that I think it’s stupid” which many uninteresting people do on YouTube. Anyway you’re amazing please stay in France for many many more years, we need smart people like you!
Aw Rosie you are so adorable ! Now the next step, after adapting youself to our culture and way of being, pick each thing you like about both of your cultures and make them into the person you want to be. I have dual nationality, franco-americaine, raised by an american mom and a french dad, and as a child I had a hard time identifying to my classmates or the french culture. Then I went to study a year abroad in America and that’s when I realized that I was SO FRENCH but also SO AMERICAN. Ever since I’ve been trying to find a balance between the strong, brutally honnest french, and the (sometimes overly) bubbly, positive american. You can do it ! It is possible ! Keep us updated on how that’s going. Because in France, we DO love smiling faces and bubbly people ! Keep doing you !
Je ne sais pas si présenter la France comme un pays “socialiste” où les gens s’abstiendraient de consommer non par philosophie mais en raison de salaires supposés plus bas qu’ailleurs, d’une faible mobilité sociale et de petits appartements est un “bon côté”. D’ailleurs le salaire moyen en France est plus élevé qu’en Australie ou en Nouvelle-Zélande, donc je ne sais pas trop sur quoi tu te bases pour affirmer que les salaires sont bas, il ne faut pas exagérer… c’est vrai que depuis 2008 le salaire moyen stagne (crise économique) et que l’intégration des jeunes sur le marché de l’emploi est problématique, c’est vrai aussi qu’il est sans doute plus facile qu’ailleurs de vivre avec un salaire relativement faible grâce aux services publics, mais il y a beaucoup de gens qui vivent (encore) très bien en France dans de belles maisons spacieuses remplies de produits plus ou moins utiles comme dans n’importe quel pays capitaliste. On est aussi le pays des hypermarchés géants dans les périphéries des villes. Et il est également utile de rappeler que si le système de santé est universel, il n’est pas entièrement public comme en Angleterre. Dans les faits, quand on ne bénéficie pas de la CMU ou de l’AME, il est très difficile de se passer d’une mutuelle (privée) pour avoir des remboursements corrects, surtout dans le dentaire, la vue, l’audition… Par ailleurs, ça ne correspond pas vraiment à la réalité statistique car la France est au contraire un pays où la croissance est portée par la consommation.
I LOVE this article! I remember when I moved to Canada in 2008, and set up a bank account…I had my chequing account, my savings account, and a debit card. And the teller told me I could not do online purchases with it. So I asked what card I needed for that. She said a credit card; so here I went and set up a credit card. I used it. And a few weeks later, I received a letter asking me to reimburse an amount I had already paid…I was soooo confused! I had no idea that the money was not taken directly out of the chequing account. At that time in France “credit cards” did not provide credit. There were regular debit cards. And in english speaking countries, well, a credit card actually gave you credit. It took me a while to get used to this, as I really, really did not like the feeling of being “in debt” every time I used that card. I think the consumerism behavior may actually be linked by how our banking is set up. We are also definitely more reserved than most Americans, for example. We don’t scream or cry when someone gives us a nice gift – we just say “thank you” (unless it’s the best.gift.ever) – people who do this will be seen as fake in France.
I often notice english-speaker complain that the French do not smile, I personally do not understand why this is taken as a bad thing. Knowing American and English people, I have often been told, in a casual conversation, that I should smile more and they would like to see me more smile, yet it is comfortable for me not to worry about my facial expressions. The purpose of this comment was to explain that these comments of some foreigners, are of course a good intention, i do understand that but, unfortunatly, they do not take into consideration the feelings of the person, so I kind want to know why they do that if someone could explain to me 🙂 It’s not a critique, I juste want to know why they think not smiling is seen as something bad for them
I am an incorrectable parisian since my birth, and lived there during more than sixty years ; then, six months ago, following events independant from my will, I expatriated into the region of Mâcon and Lyon ( Beaujolais ); Surprise! I live now in stranger country, where people you do not know salute you, say bonjour, even often smile ! And the cars at the crosswalks which do not accelerate to crush you … Very exotic, it will take me a lot of time to get the habit …
My kids father is French (family from Marseille) but now in Quebec (the whole bunch moved to Quebec). We are Canadian. It’s taken me 20 years to understand the confrontational/debating/arguing is fun attitude. I have two kids born in English Canada but they are “personality wise” half French/half English. I’ve lived both sides. It can be exhausting to argue (for fun) all the time….and I find it aggressive. I watch your website because I relate to your being caught in middle. I’ve learned french, my kids are bilingual and I love architecture but there is also something to be said for appreciating easy going attitudes. I had no idea before I had children how my choice to marry and raise children with a francophone would change things. My kids don’t think it’s cool to be half French, they just are, by DNA. I will forever be caught in the middle of the anglo/franco battle. And so I take deep breaths to understand the need to debate every little thing….(even if I feel it’s ridiculous).
7:46 I think the word ‘beautiful’ has a more intens feel to it in English than the word ‘beau’ does in French. I think ‘beautiful’ in English is reserved for more special occasions, whereas ‘beau’ is quite commonly used. Usually I would translate ‘C’est beau!’ with a casual ‘It looks good’ and not with ‘Oh, but that’s so b e a u t i f u l !’ Apart from this linguistical note, the French do value esthetics. Part 2 (‘The Bad’) from 8:53 is very interesting to me.
Merci pour cette nouvelle vidéo ! Dans les points positifs tu notes que les Français savent “critiquer” pour faire avancer le débat, améliorer les choses. Et ensuite dans les points négatifs, tu dis que l’on se plaint tout le temps : critiques sur les films etc. C’est le versant négatif de la critique, on paraît râleurs ! Certains le sont sans doute, mais pouvoir exprimer son PROPRE ressenti, en positif “oh c’est beau !” comme tu le soulignes ou en négatif “ce n’est pas une bonne idée parce que… + arguments” me semble le propre de l’être doué d’intelligence… Alors que “paraître” toujours heureux et critiquer en “off” cela sert à quoi ? A la paix apparente ? On ne fait avancer les choses qu’en (s’auto) critiquant, tant que cela est fait avec bienveillance 😉 Merci pour tes vidéos que j’adore suivre 😉
I really enjoyed this article, I found it particularly interesting that France is a less consumer driven society, as you said, maybe they just don’t have anywhere to put it in their tiny appartments! It was also nice to hear how they appreciate beauty and the small things in life. I found some of the negatives you pointed out a bit sad, especially how it’s changed your personality and made you less bubbly and more critical. I feel like, as much as I’m a Francophile and am so in love with Paris, that the negativity and the gossipy attitude to others and what they’re wearing isn’t a healthy way to see the world and probably reflects their own insecurities and unhappiness.
The part about the prevalence of confrontational behaviour in France, especially in the workplace, is very true. Although I must say, as a French person who’s lived abroad for 10 years now it is not something that I miss at all. I’ve always had an issue with the brutal honesty and constant need to debate about everything of many people around me to the point I started believing I was a misanthrope ! It took me to leave France to realise that it wasn’t a general human trait but a very French one indeed. It’s not that debating doesn’t exist in the UK and other English speaking countries but it seems to me that it is more codified and people understand there is a place and time for it. As you said, people may be less honest which can also be frustrating in some cases. But the end result is a more harmonious atmosphere and less stress. I always enjoy a good debate with my French friends and relatives and getting some brutally honest feedback from them from time to time. But I’m so glad it’s not something that has to happen everyday anymore !
Astuce pour les magasins : Quand le (la) vendeur(se) vient vers vous pour vous poser 36 000 questions, montrez lui que vous l’avez vu tout en continuant votre chemin dans le magasin. Attendre les premiers mots qui sont en général “Bonjour. Puis-je vous aider ?” et répondre tout en continuant de regarder les articles “Bonjour. Je regarde. Merci”. En général c’est clair net et précis ^^`…
That’s really interesting feedback. The things you’ve mentioned are the very reasons I am working toward moving abroad (hopefully to France), since I just don’t seem to flow well with mainstream American culture. The big thing that stood out to me most in the critiquing/complaining culture. I have finally learned to break AWAY from this and have become a much more grateful and positive person, I’d hate to fall back into that there. Maybe I can be a positive influence on those around me instead 🙂 love your articles, thank you for sharing!
Wow all that is so well spotted. Thanks! Even things I did not think of initially are so true. After some time abroad and coming back, the french’s habit of complaining and judging was the most difficult to get used to again. Have to say it’s very much parisian, and less obvious (but still there) in “la province” Like you I finally saw value in all the arguments at work, although it’s not always comfortable. There are good and bad things in all countries, and having the opportunity to experience that, wherever it is, is grand. Thanks again for sharing.
Great comparison. It takes a good deal of introspection to see how french living has changed you. I am glad that you can see how you are more critical, less patient, less gregarious, more opinionated, more socially conforming… yes, you are becoming more french. Yes – you look more french. You touched on part of that here. The social conformity pushes people toward a generic “French” look, one that sits in the basic makeup, slightly hipster, perpetual college professor, simple hairstyle, etc. If one looks at French media there is definitely a type. Again, this all loops back the profoundly self-conscious and opinionated nature of the culture that you mentioned here. The odd thing is that what is taken by the French as a bold and independent and cosmopolitan attitude comes across as just basically rude by those outside looking in. From my experience, and your talk here about the lack of tolerance brought it to mind, the fact that the French tend to complain about their own bureaucracy, long lines, general attitude, etc. and yet do nothing about it points to one of the unspoken traits – they complain a lot but do nothing about it… so who really is to blame for the French? It is the French themselves. I love the irony, it is so french, no?
I am enjoying your articles ( binging actually) as I work on a very repetitive catalog task! …and just went back to one of your first–one can definitely see the difference. The way you look and express yourself is definitely more french – less bubbly than at first, your look is very french ( and it suits you quite lovely)… your speech more monotone and less facial expressions ( the french non-effort) LOL!but yeah…we do become more of the place we are in… I guess the best for us expats is we can choose to take what we like for the now and old home as we discover ourselves through life experience. Well done.
As an American…I get the need to be over-zealous with cheesiness to strangers…having said that, some people are just naturally like that. There eventually has to be a balance when visiting other countries. I sanction that I person should be truth-telling when for example saying NO, when you are brought up to people-please (and be NICE, at a cost to oneself). Here’s where I draw the line, when anyone just thinks that they can criticize or judge me to my face…WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A PROBLEM. Culturally sanctioned or not, strangers have no right to it, unless there is real harm involved. If I happen to like what I am wearing, comfortable & not revealing at all, what business is it to anyone else? So what if it’s not in fashion for the moment. More people mind their own business. Balance is key to everything & going out your way to just other people down, just to make yourself feel superior says a lot. You seem like a nice lady….if anyone does that to you, I suggest you tell them if they really must FIX someone to start with the one in the MIRROR. I mean people should have some amount of freedom to just be themselves. Suppressing our true selves, at the end of the day, leads to all kinds of unhappiness. Balance is key in EVERYTHING. And for all the need to complain….well, I think it’s fine to say ONCE that something is not working out as we hoped. But the need to do it constantly will wear you down. The book ‘Don’ t Swear the Small Stuff’ taught me so much. If we are REALLY UNABLE to change the circumstances at the moment, constant whining will take us to the place of a peaceful mind.
Hey Rosie, I’m a Frenchie living in Aus and it’s super interesting listening to your take on French culture. I’m having to learn exactly the opposite to you: how to be less confrontational, how to casually chit chat to the cashier etc It’s sometimes sooo frustrating to me when people have this ush ush, don’t rock the boat (or let’s not get political) mentality. A healthy debate can be good, otherwise you can end up bottling up all anger and frustration! (And the funny thing is, people thought I was mostly avoiding confrontation back in France). Being “overly friendly” is something I also struggle with. I remember the first time I saw my boyfriend having a full on conversation with the cashier at Woolies I was baffled haha To me being polite meant packing my stuff as quickly as possible and trying not to clog up the line. Simple things like asking how are you? And genuinely try to answer to that same question took me a whole year to register and become natural ><
I’m always impressed how you get every french behaviour so accurately right. People think that french people are rude because they’re not all excited but they have a lot of polite manners that they respect it’s just that for them that a little coldness is a way to not bother other people and that’s polite.
I think it’s good to migrate when you are young. I’m almost 50 and enjoy visiting France 🇫🇷 every summer. It’s too late for me. I have a degree in French Literature and I live in the U.S. I can get by, but that’s it. At least my degree paid off in life to be able to appreciate France on holiday. I think your articles are wonderful and very informative. Thank you so much for all of them. With that said, do you ever feel like throwing in the towel and go back to NZ? It sounds so tough. Nothing wrong with consumerism but I know what you mean about job promotions and credit cards, but I think money does not go as far for anything there unless you have a well paid job. I don’t think I could survive that at this age. I’m not spoiled and I don’t value money over friends or family, but I think money helps with having a quality life. It’s an energy that gives you freedom. I love France! Wish I had your courage when I was your age. Thank you again!
Thank for sharing your experience it is always interesting. As I am french, I don’t focus and analyze my own culture and behaviour and I have to say you’re often right ! ^^ You’re must be a sort of chameleon now 😀 It’s sad to have to choose and adapt, instead of just being who we want to be (in the street I mean, I understand it’s more complicated at work…) I guess it’s normal but sad nevertheless. Discussing is important but smiling and enjoying things too !
Tout à fait d’accord particulièrement lorsque vous dîtes qu’on ne peut pas s’exprimer avec nos vêtements: il y a une norme du “bon goût universel” voire de l’idéologie véhiculée via les vêtements…et ça arrive très tôt (j’ai été repris sur mon style il y a peu par un môme de treize ans). J’ai appris, avec le temps, à n’en faire qu’à ma tête mais je passe pour un agressif et je n’inspire, à-priori, pas confiance aux gens avec mes chemises androgynes et mon chapeau tricorne (je vis avec et ça ne me dérange pas). Cela dit, superbe vidéo qui dégage beaucoup de “chaleur” et qui fait vraiment plaisir à écouter!.. 🙂
That’s so informative and thought-provoking) I am a Russian living in Italy (for over 5 years as well), and with smiling and positivity I find it vice versa. Russian culture is also more introvert, similar to French in this way (as in if you’re smiling to strangers people might think you are unwell), and Italian is completely extravert – they adore chatting, they are very open and rather smiley. And I find myself tired to be so outward all the time. I just need to go walk around with a stone face sometimes. When I come back to Russia though people say how more smiley and positive I am than a standard Russian)) so… somewhere in the middle.
I’ve been living in Paris for two weeks now (finally with my long distance BF! ♡) and already I’ve noticed changes in myself too! Back home (Australia) every day make up can be quite heavy and pose no issue, so as I was meeting my boyfriends parisian friends at the bar, they were quite shocked/judgey at the amount of make up I was wearing! I was quite embarrassed as I noticed the girls around me with little to no make up on, so now I keep it very, very minimal compared to what I usually would. On the plus side, like you said, I feel I look a lot tidier/fresh/smarter with less make-up anyway! I also notice how different the roads/pedestrian crossings are! It’s chaotic out there, I have a panic attack every time I need to get somewhere. In Aus if you don’t own a car you’re practically screwed to get around, here I definitely think it’s wiser to take public transport, that’s gonna take time for me to get used to 😳
Wow,I have a lot of French in me! I heartily believe and engage in debate and discussion of ideas. In the US south (where I live); they think you’re being rude or abrasive. It’s so annoying. Same with aesthetics. People here don’t notice their environment. I am same with critiquing. Impatience, saying I’m “ok” when things are great! So funny. I find my personality is more reflective of my French and English roots than my German heritage. Interesting.
Glad to see that even our attitudes toward the “anglo way of doing so called customer service” is also starting to make sense to you now 😉 So many anglos saying “there’s no such a thing as customer service in France” no there is but we’re not fake about it and also that”s not how the dynamic work in France there is no “anglo way of doing it” yeah okay fair enough but none at all totally untrue it’s just done in a different way and on another level
Hi Ms Rosie: I’m sorry I am late perusal this wonderful article… Have you been to Quebec? I would love to get your insights & opinions on how France and Quebec are similar & different in their own unique French cultures. I realize that even France has varying cultures from one end of the country to the other (especially the difference in Paris & rural France), but there are many French people (especially women) who migrate to Quebec & enjoy the similarities. Great idea for a future article? Take care & be safe.
Eh bien, I have a question. I think using credit quite often is really a US thing. OTH I think of New Zealand being closer to England (because of the Commonwealth), and I believe that English people behave like in France with respect to credit (I might be wrong, though). Do you think of yourself beeing closer to US or to England ? (in general, not just about credit)
About the confrontation thing, remember that the name of our country “France” comes from franks, and like in english this word exist also in French, “franc” wich is a noun to talk about the german tribe that took down the roman empire in the actual France but also the adjective you should know the meaning. It also has a meaning of liberty, of freedom, we consider that if you can say whatever you want to say, you are truly free (it doesn’t mean you want to say things that could hurt people you love, but that you feel free about saying it or not).
Hello ! I’m french and i’ve just discovered your website with this article (youtube recommand it to me after perusal a Paul Taylor’s Vlog), i really appreciate your synthesis on your living in France experience, i like having point of views like yours it is always very pleasent to see how we (frenchies) are compared to other countries, how we live, thine differently than other peoples, i’ve never been to NZ but it is on my to do list, even if 2 weeks ago i’ve seen a reportage on the milk industry in NZ and how it is literrally ruining the environnement with this millions of cows, and ruining the economy with all the indebtedness that is growing and growing for NZ’s farmers. Anyway i will check your other articles, i hope some of them talks of NZ. Keep going ! Bye
As always you are such a sweet person, I like your thinking. Debate in France is not seen as a confrontation. Thought there is sometimes confrontations, but normally it is seen as Something out of order and rude, even thought more and more french loose that polite nature and behaviour they had. In the past we would have never got annoyed about people being very polite and give a hight level of service, on the contrary, but now it’s true french especially in Paris people became less urban, and more impatient, les courteous, but it’s not true of all french, some like me like old fashioned french manners and we dislike any kind of impolitness, and we gladly welcome in cafe or restaurants a waiter that shows great ability to be very attentiv, smiling and polite. Or maybe I jus got your meaning wrong, you’ll tell me. ^^
I am moving to Wallonia, Belgium NEXT WEEK and I haven’t seen as much in-depth analysis of living there as there is about living in France… so I’ve been reading stuff about France as a proxy for Belgium……….. and I’m wondering if there is any similarity between the two. Maybe comparing the two isn’t valid, after all, they are two different places that speak the same language. Maybe its like comparing Alabama with New York City, I don’t know.
Hello ! What a great article again, and I will repeat what many people said before : thaks to you I learned on my own culture (I’m french). The thing that I noticed and makes me sad because it’s true, is about hair, make-up and clothes style. Yes, a lot of people are making critics about it if you are not “like everyone else” so I can only telle you that : be yourself, really, wear the clothes you want as you want and same thing for your hair (I can’t say anything about make-up because I don’t make myself up at all). Really, stop thinking about others opinion, time is moving on and french people are more tolerant and less narrow-minded than before. That’s it. ^^
Hi! You haven’t listed anything positive exepted the ” oh c’est beau “. And we don’t blame you. it’s true that it’s a huge difference between France and a country like New Zealand/ Australia/UK. I’m French myself and married to a British man. We’ve tried to settle in France for a year but decided to move back to UK as people are not patient and rude. They don’t know how to drive and act really dangerously on the road . Obviously some are nice but when it’s everyday that you see bad behaviour you get easily sick of it.
Hi ! Just a quick technical advice : you should adjust the sound to be a bit higher. I had to push the sound of my computer to almost its maximum (the YT player is at the maximum too obviously). I rarely have to do that. I noticed this problem with some of your articles already. Enfin bref, je continue de regarder la vidéo du coup…
Your are so much french now ! 😱🇫🇷 You just have everything that defines a french person.. and everything I thought I was but I’m starting to loose 😂 As living abroad in an English cultured country, I am becoming more friendly with strangers (which get me looks from my pairs when I come home 😂😂 ), enthusiastic about many new little things… One thing you CAN’T cut out a french person is complaining about pretty much everything…which I still do. I just can’t help myself. I was built like this 😋 🇫🇷 Well that and my taste for strong cheese 🧀
“Non c’est pas possible” “oh, okay, sorry…” that’s also me !! I also act this way ! I’m french and I’m patient when it comes to queueing… But not when it comes to deal with the computer ! Hey here in the western south you can be very friendly with people (but maybe not too much too^^), I think it’s more a parisian thing than a whole french thing ! Parisians are famous for “faire la gueule”^^ No, too bad you’re complaining like french people (or parisian) do ! That’s such a bad habit ! For what regards clothes, again, I think it depends where you live. I’ve just spent an afternoon in Toulouse and I saw many many different styles. I am myself very creative when it comes to getting dressed (I’m a metalhead after all^^) and to making up, and I am not alone to have an excentric look, so don’t be afraid to dress as you want and don’t think all french people are dressed the same, it’s not true, it’s bullshit, as director/actor Tommy Wiseau says !
more French young people would love to work in Nz and Australia, because of the salary ..in Europe is hardly u can find a relevant good job,pay all your taxes, and rent so high! i was living in Nz and Australia, and it is pretty amazing there..more and more European people wanna work there. Will u be back to Nz or stay in France> ? you have a article why u moved to France, would love to see it . Thanks !
To Sarah Bannon : Oh no ! not at all! This idea of separating and putting a hierarchy between the Ile de France (Paris and suburbs) and the province does not hold water and it is very strange because for several years the big French cities are becoming stronger, competitive, attractive by having less the disadvantages of a megacity. I find this distinction reductive, old-fashioned and counterproductive. The problem in France is not there. One of the problems for me is the lack of confidence in oneself and in the positive things that make France. In America, for example, people are proud of their country, proud of themselves, they claim excellence, sometimes wrong because they are proud of not much or things they did not do themselves. In France, people are reserved, shy about their skills and not so arrogant. Arrogant when foreigners listen to them but between us we devalue ourselves, we are too critical towards our country. It is the result of the political class that too often consolidates its power by afficating contempt and reproaches the people, except of course during the election period. Our leaders despise us and behave badly with the French and the French become morose. Otherwise, everyone knows that France is a beautiful country.
Au niveau que les Français aime la beauté c’est vrai enfait nous profitons de tous ce qui nous entoure pour être heureux..Comme dirait la chanson il nous en faut peu pour être heureux..Je pence vraiment que le fait d’admirer le monde autour de nous nous permet vraiment de ce sentir bien de ce sentir aimé..Voilà bisous..😚
Great subject !! Always interesting when it comes to compare different cultures !! Et tout à fait en accord avec les points positifs et négatifs de la France 😉 C’est vrai qu’en France on aime le beau et qu’on débat sur tout et tout le temps 🙂 Et pour ce qui est de la plainte perpétuelle, disons que râler, pourquoi pas, mais tout le temps c’est fatigant lol Peut-être que sur ce point les français devraient apprendre un peu plus de la culture anglophone…. et vice versa, histoire d’être dans la nuance LOL
Effectivement les langues en France sont importantes. On apprend le français et l’anglais dès la CP et après au collège on est obligé de choisir entre l’espagnol et l’allemand (pour les plus communes). Enfin tu peux choisir encore d’autre langue tels que le latin, le grecque, l’italien et maintenant même le chinois !
Sincèrement je suis pas sur que le pouvoir d’achat soit moindre en France, peut être sur Paris effectivement car la vie est cher pour pas forcément une très grosse différence de salaire vis à vis de la province. Mais sinon une grande majorité des dépenses les plus cher sont comprise dans ton salaire… Impôts, mutuelle et charges sociales… Enfaite à côté tu as un loyer qui ne doit pas dépassé les 33% de ton salaire, factures basique type électricité et gaz. Le reste reste relativement bon marché, même la nourriture si tu fais attention. Je sais par exemple que je gagne 1000€ de moins qu’une personne au même poste en Australie, mais je sais aussi que je suis largement gagnant sur mon loyer et la vie de tout les jours.
It’s a bit depressing that France has hardened you. Most people might find the good in not smiling or being welcoming, but being this way is actually beneficial be it fake or not. In my opinion, emotions are contagious energies. I can’t fathom walking around like a cold, hard shell of myself and having everyone else around me become that, too. It’s like infecting the world with unhappiness and bringing one big dark cloud everywhere I go. I love France but that’s the only thing I can’t really live with.
Hey I just discovered your website and I must say it’s pretty amazing ! You’re quite fair with us, and a foreign point of view is always appreciated, thank you ! BUT (of course I would say “but”), I think you should dare to be more creative/flashy in your fashion style/lifestyle if it’s what you desire. I think everything is about balance and honesty. Someone saying “Hello” with a smile in public transport is always nice, just not too friendly because in a way, it’s not really sincere or look really forced to us. Or maybe it’s also like “well I don’t know you, I don’t really care and I’m too lazy to small talk…”. But it’s true that we should soften this coconut shell of ours, be less judgemental and yeah accept things as they are. At the same time, it’s through confrontation and critic that we can improve as you already said. Maybe living in France (foreigner or not) it’s like a goddamn trial, and when you suceed in trully not caring about the others’ judgements and accept things as they are, you reach enlightment haha
About what you say of beauty, compliments and gifts etc, I don’t really agree with you. In my opinion as a French person, I think it’s more just another way to say “oh I’m happy, your gift is great, it is kind of you, thanks a lot etc”. “Ohh c’est joli ! quel beau cadeau tu m’as fait” c’est une façon explicite et concrète de montrer que ça te fait très plaisir. Non ? “Ton attention (à mon égard) me touche” Que dis-tu en NZ quand on t’offre quelque chose ?
An american writter said ( doesnt remember his name) more money big car, big house, and he thought why a bigger house? Just more time to get to pee. I found that funny. Im not talking about paris, lived 8 years there, small overpriced apartment thas not the point. in paris there is no place. But if you can visit paris do it in the journey’s end, visit provincial france more.
D’une certaine manière, vous m’avez retirer une part de mon propre mystère. C’est troublant et souvent drôle de se voir dépeint aussi précisément. Vous m’avez rendu très fier de notre culture, si déclinante malgré votre indulgence. Et je vous souhaite de toujours rester une “Not Even French” car c’est un carcan souvent bien triste. Sous le couvert de la politesse se cache souvent une misère sentimentale et affective qui névrose profondément toute notre société.
Hey Rosie Nice article. It seems to me that France bring a bit more of “humanism” in perception of life. On the other side, it’s a pity that it makes you lose your smile and this pro-active happiness in your everyday relationships. Personally I always envy this capacity of anglo-saxon people to be actively friendly and welcoming. It makes life easier to my point of view.
Quand les gens disent que les français sont pas aimable et pas souriants, j’ai envie de dire “Alors, oui et non”. J’explique : Avant j’habitais dans une jolie petite ville, à côté de Pau. Quand tu croises quelqu’un dans la rue, même si c’est sûrement la première et la dernière fois que tu le vois, il te sourit, et il te salue poliment. J’ai déménagé il y a 2 ans à Bordeaux, et j’avais toujours l’habitude d’être tout souriant quand je croise des gens dans la rue. Première personne que je croise en arrivant, je lui dis bonjour, et elle m’a regardé comme si j’étais un alien ^^. Apparemment c’est “mal vu” (je veux pas dire ça, mais t’as compris) de dire bonjour aux gens dans la rue, et on te prend pour un fou. C’était juste pour dire que non, tout les français ne sont pas associables ^^
Well, we spend our time complaining about being too much into a consumerist society but as I always say to people, there’s worst than our country^^ We tend to be very critical when it comes to consumerism and I think that’s a good thing because we tend to focuse on what’s more important and we tend to be aware that behind many of the things we buy, there are poor people working like slave to build it… That’s capitalism… People in France prefer to view themselves as citizens instead of consumers. They don’t like to be considered as stupid sheeps who are going to follow the mass and buy the next fashionable thing because it’s “trendy” (albeit a lot of people act this way and that’s sad…). Same thing for work, we don’t like to be working slave, we work to live, but, most of the time, we don’t live to work. We don’t want to be capitalism slaves who spend their whole time working and their few free time to purchase useless items that are going to get old-fashioned the next month and need to be replaced. We’re not sheeps. For what regards debates, I think it goes too far sometimes. People tend to argue for everything and anything and that’s sometime tiring. Nonetheless, when we have an issue with someone, we always have the motto “quand tu as quelque chose à dire, dis-le en face.” I think it’s totaly accurate in the sense that talking behind somebody’s back won’t help improve things, whereas if we have a quiet discussion with the incriminated person about what’s going wrong with her, then the person can get aware of the issues and it can help improve things.
Debate is the way French found not to fight, remember also that French don’t have weapons at home. For appreciating the beauty of things, you’ll understand why people are not wearing shorts but pants, we hate to see a British wearing shorts with white legs, sandals an black socks 😂 BTW you can understand that the only Anglo Saxons we knew in our history are English, too many wars, too many prejudices with our most reliable ennemy raise the feeling of rivalary between the two nations. British and Americans are considered as taste less people 😎
Après moi je pense que tu devrais visiter d’autres villes de France parce que c’est plus tôt les Parisien que tu décris même si ils sont pas tous pareil enfaite si tu veux la France c’est comme si s’été plusieurs pays par exemple les Marseillais ne sont pas pareils que les Parisiens et c’est pareil avec les autres villes tu peux tomber dans des villes de France où les gens sont souriant, gentil et agréable après comme t’habites à Paris oui les gens là-bas ils sont un peu désagréable mais après c’est pas de leur faute c’est juste qu’ils n’ont pas le temps c’est gens très occupé
A bit a mess in the structure the article, Well if you feel as you describe it, Opinion about yourself still is opinion about yourself … About the influence, The harmony gather, What would be the «value» It’s smoothy and ? See, as others some kinds a “territorial” identity just struggles to confirm their existence … I’m not that sure, … All New Zealander will agreed the reducing “Nickname” evidence of an hypothetical affection “kiwis” … I guess dynamics some “Charming” facts are quite similar in “stories” some are used to deal with, when other struggles to “create” their own … Do New Zealander have to struggle with their own history to “built” historical facts ? Nope, just don’t mean it at all … France still is a young nation, … Ways the territory limits are build on still involves quite a difference between approach, angles, ways to see, sometimes strictly same “points” . But you’re right about the analysis the “start” the French syndromes or disease, or “evil” … It’s like a cancer, into the clouds that are the substance the government missionaries . They struggle to “appear” as … It only stand appearances . And it is culturally heritage the governance … This may explain that . Do New Zealander didn’t have to struggle to find back their endemic identity ? Nice spotlight on your left !
About the consuming habits, I highly doubt it’s because of salaries. It’s cultural. People don’t like using loans unlike the English speaking world. They prefer to wait until they can actually afford this or that. It’s not so much of a socialist country but just less consumerism because of culture. Now that I live in Boston, I’ve been able to compare, and besides this habit of using loans, the level of consumerism is similar. France is still a capitalist country.
Super vidéo !!! Je trouve que c’est dommage d’adopter les mauvaises manières des français, en particulier faire la gueule dans le métro ou se plaindre de tout et n’importe quoi. Quitte à passer pour quelqu’un de naïf je trouve que c’est ce qui fait le charme des anglo-saxons en général (Canada, US, Australie, NZ). Je ne connais pas les chiffres officiels mais beaucoup de français s’endettent pour acheter un logement et payer ses études quand tu fais une école de commerce est beaucoup plus couteux. Les français ne sont pas forcément moins consumériste mais je pense surtout qu’on fait plus attention à nos dépenses car effectivement ça coûte cher de se loger et tout le monde n’a pas forcément un salaire de cadre. Il y a eu des études qui ont montré que la consommation et l’investissement ont fortement baissé après la crise de 2007 car justement les gens ont peur de manquer d’argent si l’état économique de la France devait empirer au lieu de stagner actuellement (d’où notre sentiment dépressif commun je suppose ^^)
One of the most noticeable changes living in France does for Antipodeans is teach good manners by observation. The French shy away from people with poor manners, limited social skills and disrespect. Alas all of which are so normal Downunder they barely register as behavioural question marks! I listen to this young lady’s materialistic changes for ‘good’ for 5 minutes and gave up. Maybe she mentions manners and courtesy later on!!!
Pour moi être français c’est se sentir comme tel, tu te sens bien dans ce pays ? Tu commences à penser en français ? Tu apprécies la culture ? Tu restes critique sur celle-ci ? Et bien tu es française (oui en France on est très critique sur notre propre pays, notre propre culture et même notre propre histoire, moi j’y vois là un moyen d’essayer de faire de ce pays le meilleur pays qui soit, même si ça réussit pas sur tous les niveaux)
Superbe vidéo mais vous les anglophones en général vous me fait toujours rire ( money money money mentalité😂 ) pour l’anecdote lors des attentats du 11 septembre ou des personne se jeter dans le vide pour échapper aux flammes dans le jt l interview d un black américain expliquer qu’il allait profiter de la vie et qu’on en avait qu’une en voyant cela et qu’il n’y avait pas que l’argent dans la vie bien sûr il y a pas que l’argent dans la vie la santé d’abord car n’oubliez pas vous êtes venu au monde nu vous partirez nu à bon entendeur.😉
Courir après les dollars pour courir les dépenser c’est stupide la,richesses n’a jamais était matériel c’est qu’une illusion celui qui travaille pour acheter du matériel na pas compris que rien nous appartient on appartient a personne et personne nous appartient c’est que des jouissance matériel pour des confort qui doivent être agréable nous apporté quelques choses pour notre bien être en étant détaché, aimé les choses avec détachement et aimer les gens avec détachement c’est mon point de vue pour le bien-être trouvé l’équilibre intérieur il est pas ridicule d’être riche ou pauvre matériellement l’important est la richesse intérieure la seule vraie richesse le reste n’est qu’une illusion la vie est une pièce de théâtre nous sommes les acteurs et les spectateurs se positionner en spectateurs fait du bien regarder le spectacle de la vie sans pensées en état de conscience permet de voir la vérité l’état de pensée n’étant que nos jugements le reflet de nous même lorsque nous jugeons c’est nous qu’ont juge notre cerveau nous joue des tours contrairement à l’état de conscience un peut de spiritualité permet de recadrer nos émotions nous rend plus fort 🤣🥰
Et ouai elle a raison ! : La France est une économie socialiste, avec des salaires taxés pour financer le système de santé, d’alloc, de retraites, ect… Ce qui nous donne des salaires bas dans une société où la vie coûte très chère. Je parle en connaissances de cause, j’ai été expatrié dans cinq autres pays.
OH NOOOO POOR GIRL. THE French wingers have spoilt you”: don t forget you are also getting older wiser and smarter and with age you pout up with less ?? And well done for embracing the new culture and ways of living . France is not a socialist country as such but you are right less Stuff is LIGHTER LOL