Incorporating children in a wedding ceremony can create a sense of unity and celebrate the merging of families. Involving children in the planning process by asking for their input on wedding details is crucial. One powerful way to involve children in the celebration is through ritualistic activities such as giving a special gift to all children, having them walk down the aisle or stand up with the couple as part of the wedding party.
One popular role for children in a blended family wedding ceremony is pouring sand, which symbolizes the blending of their lives and the merging of two families. Another great way to get children involved in a blended wedding is having a Sand Ceremony, sometimes called a Unity Sand Ceremony.
A blended family wedding ceremony is a unique opportunity to celebrate the love and unity that comes from the merging of two families. By creating a thoughtful and inclusive script, couples can include children in the wedding-planning process. Stepchildren can be given a defining role in the wedding, and when they look back on the wedding, they will love that they played an integral part.
To include preschool-age children in the wedding ceremony, couples can have them stand by their side as part of the wedding party. A family circle can be used to make children feel special and loved too. The minister can also use a family medallion as a tangible symbol of love and help them feel secure.
In addition to the traditional wedding ceremony, blended families can also participate in the planning process by participating in cake tasting, adhering stamps on invitation envelopes, and having their children stand by their side. This allows couples to make their children feel special and loved while celebrating the merging of their families.
📹 Steve Harvey Breaks Down Stepfamilies
The author of “Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man” offers relationship advice.
What Is The Tradition For Blended Families Wedding?
Blended families often utilize rituals like unity sand or unity candles to signify their coming together, emphasizing the integration of individuals into one cohesive family unit. In the UK, about 16% of blended family weddings incorporate dependent children, emphasizing the importance of including children in the ceremony through various creative gestures and attire that highlight unity and togetherness. The phrase "Familia Ante Omnia," meaning "Family before everything," underscores the event's significance in mending and blending families.
Incorporating meaningful elements such as a "Family" sign with individual letters, releasing Wish Lanterns, or presenting family medallions to children can create lasting bonds and symbolize unity. Couples are encouraged to involve children meaningfully, perhaps by having them walk down the aisle or participate in special roles. Unique ideas like the blending of sands or creating handprint canvases further enhance the idea of unity. Additionally, many blended families opt for a sand ceremony, where each member contributes colored sand to visually represent their merging.
By incorporating thoughtful traditions and inviting both families to walk down the aisle together, couples foster an environment of acceptance and togetherness. Ultimately, the planning of a blended family wedding should focus on love, respect, and building new connections, ensuring all members feel valued throughout the celebration. This post shares various suggestions for creating an unforgettable blended family wedding ceremony.
Should Children Be Included In A Blended Family Wedding?
Involving children in a blended family wedding is crucial for fostering unity and celebrating the merging of families. To achieve this, actively engage children in the planning by soliciting their opinions on color schemes, decorations, and menu selections. Including kids in the wedding vows is a meaningful way to acknowledge their importance in the new family dynamic without the overt nature of a unity ceremony. Acknowledging stepchildren in vows conveys commitment to the entire family, ensuring they feel valued and loved.
For a tangible connection, kids can participate in rituals, positioning them as integral to the ceremony. Families can also choose to include kids in unconventional roles, breaking away from traditional bridal party norms. This not only makes children feel special but creates lasting memories of shared experiences. Couples should consider novel and heartwarming approaches to include stepchildren, such as crafting personalized vows or incorporating family unity practices.
Focused involvement helps children feel they are part of the wedding, transforming the event into a collective celebration rather than just union of two adults. Positive shared experiences contribute to the evolving family identity, forming a foundation for future togetherness. Ultimately, communicating expectations and fostering inclusivity is vital, ensuring every child feels an essential part of this landmark occasion. Whether through collaborative planning, personalized vows, or unique ceremonial acts, these strategies collectively form an enriching experience that honors the complexity and beauty of blended families.
Why Should A Wedding Ceremony Be Held In Front Of Children?
When couples get married, family dynamics often shift, and children may feel this transition keenly. Acknowledging their significance during the wedding ceremony, whether through words or rituals, helps validate their feelings. Including children in this celebration of family blending is not just thoughtful but crucial, ensuring that they feel part of this new life chapter alongside the couple. Planning a wedding with children doesn’t have to be cumbersome; it involves thoughtful decision-making.
Couples should consider whether to host an adults-only event, which is perfectly acceptable, depending on their preferences. Involving children early in the planning process can ease concerns and invite their excitement.
To thoughtfully incorporate children into the ceremony, couples can consult their celebrant for suggestions on meaningful rituals. Engaging kids could include having them participate in readings, receiving a special gift, or standing as part of the wedding party. It’s important to consider each child's comfort level, as not every child enjoys being in the limelight. If a child is not suited for a specific role, it's perfectly fine to opt-out.
Creative ways to include kids can enhance the ceremony, such as unity rituals or having them act as ring bearers or flower girls, reinforcing family unity. Overall, while the focus is on the couple’s love, inviting children into the ceremony can beautifully enrich the occasion.
Where Do Step Parents Sit At A Wedding Reception?
Seating arrangements for parents at weddings can be intricate, especially with the inclusion of stepparents. If stepparents have a strong and amicable relationship with both the couple and their biological parents, seating them at the same table can be beneficial. This arrangement minimizes confusion and keeps important guests in one location. Traditionally, both sets of parents, along with siblings (not in the wedding party), the officiant, and their spouses, sit together at the reception table.
It’s advisable that all parents are seated in front of the couple during the ceremony. Typically, the bride's parents occupy the first row on the left, while the groom's parents are seated on the right.
In cases of divorce, it is ideal to have both parents seated in the front row, with stepparents potentially placed in a second row or wherever they feel most comfortable. Grandparents should also be seated close to the couple, either at the parents' table or at nearby tables. The bride and groom should ensure that their parents have a clear view of the ceremony, reflecting their importance. Although traditionally parents sit together, specific circumstances may dictate alternative arrangements to maintain harmony. Ultimately, the seating should prioritize comfort and visibility for immediate family members, affirming their significance in the couple’s celebration.
How Do You Include Kids In A Wedding Ceremony?
Including children in your wedding can enhance the celebration and create lasting memories. A great way to involve your blended family is by assigning them specific roles in the ceremony, such as having them join the wedding party, walk down the aisle, or act as ushers. Engaging kids in pre-wedding activities like crafting place cards or assembling welcome baskets is also fun. Moreover, they can participate in the ceremony by performing readings or prayers, ensuring they feel a part of the occasion.
For the reception, thoughtful seating arrangements prioritize their comfort, whether at a private table or with the family. Acknowledging children during the ceremony adds a heartwarming touch, making them feel valued in the family dynamic. Other creative ideas include personalizing gifts for them, allowing them to make choices during the ceremony, or featuring them in DIY projects. If children are invited, consider setting up a kids’ table and allowing them to showcase special performances.
Ultimately, giving roles to stepchildren as ring bearers or flower girls significantly contributes to their sense of belonging. This meaningful involvement will ensure they cherish the memories of your wedding day for years to come.
Should Marriage Be The Top Priority In A Blended Family?
After the wedding, prioritizing the relationship between husband and wife in a blended marriage is essential, even above the children. Strong families are grounded in solid marriages, and making each other a priority benefits everyone in the blended family, including the kids. A healthy, stable marriage fosters security for all family members. Commitment serves as the foundation, ensuring that the blended family functions effectively.
Both partners must invest in nurturing their relationship, focusing on love and trust. It is important not to frame priorities as an ultimatum between the partner or the children; rather, positioning the marriage as the family's cornerstone is crucial.
While it may be challenging due to existing dynamics, prioritizing the marriage ultimately supports the whole family unit. Avoiding divisive language, prioritizing each other’s needs, and expressing commitment without undermining the children's needs can help maintain balance. By doing so, you foster a healthier environment for both the marital relationship and the stepfamily.
Ultimately, a strong and healthy marriage is vital in blended families, as it creates a stable foundation. Recognizing this can alleviate the complexities associated with blending families and help navigate the challenges that arise, reinforcing that prioritizing the marriage enhances the well-being of the entire family.
How To Include Stepchildren In A Wedding Ceremony?
Incorporating stepchildren in a wedding ceremony can be a beautiful way to blend families and signify commitment. Here are four effective tips to achieve this:
- Let Them Do a Reading: Involving stepchildren in a reading can give them a special voice during the ceremony, making them feel included.
- Involve Them in a Symbolic Ritual: Consider traditions like a sand ceremony, where family members participate in a symbolic act, which helps to unify everyone in a meaningful way.
- Allow Them to Say Their Own Vows: Including stepchildren in vow exchanges can strengthen family bonds and acknowledge their importance in the new family dynamic.
- Mention Them in Your Vows: Express love and commitment to your partner and their children in your vows to underline the acceptance of the blended family.
Additionally, consider giving them significant roles such as bridesmaids or flower girls. Celebrating their inclusion can foster a sense of belonging, making the event memorable for everyone. Finalize the experience by involving them in other ceremony elements, ensuring they feel valued throughout the wedding process. By embracing these tips, couples can create a supportive environment that honors each family member’s place in the new journey together.
What Is Mother Son Wedding Traditions?
The mother-son dance is a cherished wedding tradition, symbolizing the deep bond between the groom and his mother. This special moment occurs during the reception, typically following the father-daughter dance, and allows the groom to express appreciation and share an emotional connection with his mother. While some grooms let their mothers choose the song, others collaborate on it, adding personal significance to the experience.
This tradition highlights not only the relationship between the mother and son but also marks a transition in their lives. The mother-son dance serves as a heartfelt tribute, allowing the groom to create a meaningful moment and honor the role his mother has played in his life. Similarly, the bride may choose to dance with a father-figure or another significant person, celebrating her own unique relationships.
The dance itself can be tailored to the couple's preferences, including alternative formats suggested by wedding professionals, reflecting modern interpretations of the tradition. While the mother-son dance is steeped in emotional value, it also serves as a joyful occasion, bringing families together and enhancing the overall wedding experience. Ultimately, whether the tradition is followed exactly or adapted, the essence of honoring parental bonds remains at the core of this touching ritual.
How To Include Adult Children In A Second Wedding?
Adult children have various opportunities to be included in a wedding, serving as witnesses to the marriage or participating in readings during the ceremony. Planners like Danielle have arranged weddings where the adult children formed the entire wedding party, emphasizing the importance of everyone's involvement. Traditional roles, such as bridesmaids and groomsmen, allow adult children to proudly stand beside the couple. Couples today also seek to start new traditions by giving heirloom gifts to be passed down during future weddings.
Thoughtful inclusions like blended family vows acknowledge the unique situation and responsibilities of the new union. It’s advised to involve children early in the planning process by seeking their opinions on details like save-the-date cards. As weddings increasingly include adult children, they can play various roles—flower girls, participating in readings, or even walking a parent down the aisle. Essential to the process is open communication with the children about their comfort levels and desired roles.
For those opting not to include children, invitations can specify "Adults only," but it's also important to ensure children know they are valued and welcome. Ultimately, the choice of involvement lies with the couple, fostering a meaningful and inclusive celebration for blended families.
Where Do Parents Sit At A Wedding Ceremony?
At a wedding ceremony, seating arrangements are traditionally designed to ease the experience for all families involved, especially with blended families. Typically, parents, grandparents, and close relatives are given priority seating. In Christian wedding ceremonies, the bride's parents sit in the first pew on the left side of the aisle, while the groom's parents occupy the first row on the right. This custom aids in clarifying where family members should be seated, thereby reducing potential awkwardness.
Guests often look to the couple's parents for cues, making it crucial to arrange special seats of honor for them. Prior to the ceremony starting, parents are seated to greet guests, with the bride's mother often being the last to take her place, signaling the beginning of the ceremony.
Reception seating follows a similar tradition, with both sets of parents seated together at a table, along with any siblings not part of the wedding party. In dealing with divorced parents, it’s essential to consult them about their seating preferences to accommodate all relationships, especially if remarriages are involved. Ultimately, thoughtful planning regarding seating can reflect the couple's dedication to their families, creating a harmonious atmosphere as they celebrate their union.
Does Groom Family Sit On Left Or Right?
In traditional wedding ceremonies, seating arrangements follow specific customs. The bride's parents are typically seated in the first pew or row on the left side, while the groom's parents occupy the first row on the right. This arrangement is common in American and Christian weddings, where the bride's family and guests sit on the left and the groom's family and friends on the right, a practice rooted in centuries-old traditions. In Jewish weddings, the opposite occurs; the groom's side is seated on the left and the bride's on the right as guests face the altar.
For same-sex marriages, couples often assign sides to each family, labeling them as "Bill's side" or "Kevin's side." Moreover, depending on individual preferences, some couples may choose to deviate from tradition altogether and allow guests to select their seating freely. Ultimately, while traditional setups endorse the bride's family on the left and the groom's on the right, many modern weddings now embrace a more flexible approach.
However, if adhering to custom, it's standard for the bride and her family to be positioned to the left of the aisle, ensuring clear visibility for all during the ceremony, particularly when the couple stands at the altar. This structured yet symbolic seating enhances the wedding experience for families and friends alike.
📹 Include Children in a Wedding Ceremony
5 Ideas for including children in a wedding ceremony…and 3 reception ideas. A wedding is a great time for blended families to …
Nobody considers that when you divorce it’s like throwing a grenade into the child’s life. Then when either or both parents remarry it’s another grenade. The child gets no say in the situation at all. The parent says this is my new wife/husband. These are your new siblings. I love them and that’s all that matters. Nobody cares if the child loves the new family, new rules, new parent, new siblings.
If a step parent has earned that title of “mom” or “dad” from a child/teen it’s because they’re doing right by that child/teen. It takes a level of maturity to accept and coparent. Some people don’t have it. Being a step parent is a thankless job. It takes someone special to be able to love their partners children as their own.
My step father always took care of the household. I never really had a strong connection with him though. I’ve always respected him and have been kind but wouldn’t confide about personal things. Or go hang out. You can’t force things. He’s my mothers husband and I respect him for taking me in and helping raise me.
I tried the blended family thing and it ruined my life and leave everyone unhappy,I view all 5 as my children,I never identified any of them as step children, that created grudge and bad feelings, the wholeness I fought so hard for fell apart quickly partly because there was a lot of back stabbing from the people who were suppose to have my back and help me make it happen
Well i hav a stepson…but biologically i dnt have a child..he is my joy,I luv him very much….I told myself dat not even 1 day will I eva call him my stepson….i knw very well down da line he may change but for now I will play da role as a mother and totally doing it from da goodness of my heart without expecting anything in return
Please don’t impose upon children by insisting they call you mom or dad because doing so can cause turmoil for them and hurt to angry feelings for their biological mom or dad. Also, it is perfectly ok to introduce stepchildren as my wife’s, or husband’s, son or daughter. Because that is the truth and kids know truth. I didn’t call my stepfather “dad” because I had a dad I loved. We kids called our stepfather by his first name and was perfectly fine for everyone, including his kids because he was their dad; not ours! This maintained everyone’s position and in a respectful way with no hard or hurt feelings.
People don’t realize they will grow old and if they make a mess of things with their kids their own lives will be a mess. Unity out the gate makes for unity through the years. My mom and step dad were self absorped and gave each other permission to favor their “blood” kids and grandkids. They are now old, frail and largely alone. I used to tell mother that these days were coming if she didn’t put a pot of pasta on and facilitate peace with her kids and step kids. No bueno.
I understand completely about not using the phrase ‘step’. My daughter is not my husband’s birth daughter but he has never introduced her to other people as his ‘step’ daughter. He introduces her as ‘and this is my daughter….’. To me and my dear husband that is just how it is. We have been married now for 22 years. I wish that all blended families were this way but unfortunately this is not the case for one reason or another. My daughter respects my husband and my husband respects my daughter. They are two of the most wonderful people in my life. I would not have married my husband if he could not love my daughter as his own.
I slightly disagree with the approach of “This is my house my rules.” As a stepchild who faced step abuse, basically that sounds like “This is now my house, these are my rules, I own you now, your feelings no longer matter, you’re a powerless child.” I think the better approach would to simply tell the child “I respect your feelings. However, I wish we could make things work.” Or maybe even asking about what went wrong, and how things could work. Imagine a random stranger off the streets one day comes in and decides to take over your household and boss you around? Any logic person would say get the hell out. So it’s more about befriending everyone around your significant other and building trust. Otherwise it will be a highly toxic environment. If you bully the household into holding specific beliefs for the step family to look like it works on the outside, resentment will begin to build among the children and parents.
Blended families can bring a lot of problems, I ended up getting into a physical fight with my step dad when I was 16 years of age because he tried to “discipline ” my little sister who was 13 at that Time, she got mad at him and told him not to mess with her because he wasn’t her father, then he got angry and started screaming at her telling her that he was the one paying her bills, then he pushed her to her room ( I was taking a shower when all of this was happening ), when I got out of the shower I saw him pushing my sister to her room while she was crying, so I run to them and I pushed him away from her, I took my shirt off and told him to try to do that to me, we both cursed at each other and then we ended up fighting, my sister took advantage of the opportunity and also jumped on him scratching his face, then my half sister tried to help her dad as well and she grabbed my sister by her hair and tried to pull her away from her dad. (My half sister was just about to turn 10 when this happened). My mom wasn’t home and when she arrived, she tried to handle the situation but it didn’t work, it just wasn’t the same anymore after that had happened, at the end they ended up getting divorced, and the only one that was damaged the most was my half sister. My mom tried to reconcile me and my sister with our half sister but it didn’t work, it’s been almost 12 years since that happened, and till this day me and my sister don’t talk to our half sister at all. So in conclusion having a blended family might bring a lot of damage, so think twice before you decide to get involved.
This is why I don’t do blended families. I respect that others can do this but I don’t have the patience to raise someone elses child and invest money and time into a kid that isn’t mine and won’t respond to me well if I make a simple request and I can’t retaliate simply because they are a child. I am not putting my time and money into that.
Just DON’T do this IF you have minor children, do not do this to them. I don’t care how perfect you think it will be, it’s not and for minor children it’s very confusing, complicated and life altering; not just momentarily altering, it’s LIFE altering and it’s a nightmare. As an adult, take responsibility for not only your actions but the protections you need to afford to your biological children! It’s much easier to raise a healthy child (mentally, physically, emotionally) than to repair a broken adult. I can’t reiterate this enough: DON’T DO THIS TO MINOR CHILDREN, EVER! After your biological children are 18 and an adult then you can go and do what you wish in your personal/love life.
My ex step daughter, that was grown already when we married hated me because I wouldn’t watch her children ( i’m disabled ) let her move in with us ( she never lived with him before so why after we married) She was a horrible person that I thought was very nice. Her dad described her to be a very nice person and everything that he said about her such as not smoking weed and drinking Tequila etc…( wasting money buying it and begging for money afterwards, having an aggressive temper cursing all the time etc…was not true about her. She doesn’t get along with her own mother either. I’m so glad that I don’t have to deal with that anymore!
but the problem is the will…make sure your kids are protected once a stepparent is in the picture everything you worked to save for your childrens inheritance and that greatgrandmas ring u saved for your daughter…GONE…IT GOES TO THE NEW LOVER…STEPPARENT AND THEIR CHILDREN. My dad works for family law…these 2nd 3rd marriages ruin families and its painful to watch a child whos known their father for 46 years…and only to have a new stepmom swoop in only 2 years, married for 5 months to get everything this man worked to save for his child. Remember the law makes the next of kin the new lover not your family that u raised or known all your life.
I have a two year step daughter ive been in her life since she was 6 months i don’t make her call me mom she calls me by my name but i still help take of her and take her out and buy her things her mom is in her life and i don’t feel like stepping on her toes. When people ask is she my daughter in passing just say yes because its easier then explaining the whole story ill always treat her like my daughter and she loves me so i don’t feel the need to force her to call me mom.
Steve Harvey i dont agree. this is a mans world. no matter how low of a father your step children’s father may be you can never say youre new their new father. youre disrespecting yourself by belittling another man by claiming his kids. i remember when my step dad told me this, I was so confused and I accepted this confusion as it left me in a dase. step parents just need to love their partners and build a relationship with their partners kids with knowlege and acces to their real parents instead of trying to brain wash them with this “im youre father now” bs. you dont have to be our fathers. all we ask for is love, understanding, and courtesy. give us those and you should have a great house whole
My fiancé 11 yr old son wants to act like a man but he wants to be treated with kids gloves. For one he doesn’t put his clothes away and then acts like he has no clothes. He’s 11 but thinks he is too young to put his own clothes away. It’s not like I’m making him wash his clothes by hand. Just put your clothes away in your draw.
That is such a blessing to hear! That you are such a good family and you are such a good father OMG more men out here like you! I had such bad luck when I let a person into my children’s life when they were really young I pray to God that they can forgive me and God will 2 because I’ve always wanted someone that that would respect them and wouldn’t treat them dirty
The parenting styles can be a big problem. You come into a child’s life that has never been corrected or disciplined, and try to raise them up properly with direction and discipline, It’s a mess. Their bio parent can know they need it, they just don’t want you doing it. But you’re a full time step parent because the bio mom left. It has to be some compromise somewhere smh 🤦🏾♀️
what child doesn’t give their parent a cold shoulder. if a step child to a step parent is rude it has nothing to with the fack of the step parent not being biologically related. teen children are naturally annoyed by any adults. unfortunately all step parents think that if their step child is being disrespectful its mostly because its not their biological child and had it been their biological child maybe they would have a better relationship. children are governor by their emotions its the step parents who over think the situation. kids cant think beyond what they see until 18 – 19. step parents try to assert unnecessary authority because they fear the step child will turn againts them one day.
I know my situation is a little different. My daughter ‘s biological step out and never looked back and never gave less than a damn about my daughter. I have been in her life since she was 15 and I been making it happen for her. I put her thru college and held her down every since. She is 28 now and it seems like she is still stand off ish. I love my baby but she gonna have to come around at some point because it does hurt and is a little embarrassing when she gives me the could shoulder around the rest of the family and friends. The bottom line that dude is not gonna come back and be dad, so she can stop trying to leave room for him in her life and let me in . I don’t know maybe I’m just being overzealous right now. What do you all think?
Good when they present the ideal Hollywood settings on television. But in real life, no single mother is going to allow you to be the man of the house, much less have your rules apply to her children. And that is precisely the nightmare of being a stepfather and having stepchildren. I have lived that nightmare in person and I do not recommend it to anyone. Look for a woman without children or stay single.
Exactly because my stepfather always have been a stepfather to me and I look at him as a father figured because when him and my mom was married he embraced us and he loved us he never treated us no different than his own children and appoint a time his children came to our home with us to know that they was I brothers and sisters as well if it was step or whichever we’re family! And I love my stepfather to this day he’ll always been a good father and I always have had my father as well I had both of the best world’s! Even though my mom and dad was never together! They always showed me extra love thank God I had those people in my life my parents
I don’t know. Steve Harvey just always rings a little bit like disingenuous to me. Like I might be wrong, and God please forgive me if I am. But he has had multiple children with multiple woman? And then he and his wife have the nerve to say that they run their house like a “Dictatorship”. Well Steve, who judged you so harshly when you had multiple women? These kids are going to have feelings and it’s going to be really tough for them to adjust to different women (and their own moms are probably hurt as well). I think that maybe it would been wiser if he stayed single for awhile to raise his children. You just can’t keep marrying without expecting the kids to have feelings about it. I think that some people can put their own personal ambitions aside and be there for just their kids for awhile – especially if the kids have been through multiple situations. And I didn’t like it when Steve said that if the kid disagreed that he or she would just basically go to school naked. I don’t know. It’s hard for me to follow his advice. I would follow him more if he was actually celibate for awhile and focused on the kids he has rather than joining another family. That might be super complicated and hard for the kids. Just me expressing my feelings. Not to condemn him, but to say that he should show his kids grace too and maybe hold off on his own relations for awhile for their sakes!! 🙏
I understand how important a child needs his father in his life. I can’t imagine my kids not being able to live with me. I wouldn’t have any memories. How could Steve’s wife think that was okay and not have maybe a counseling session or something with the bio mom. I wouldn’t want my kids to feel neglected not living with their father. If that was the case I would do it now that I’m older. The weekends would have to be open for my children to visit me if they wanted too. I would definitely let my son go but my daughter I don’t know, lots of prayer and fasting for the pain of my soul.
What works for one family doesn’t work for all families. Everyone must find and live their own truth, and find their own solutions for their family. Check out these meditations that help stepmoms connect to their inner expert, and get the answers they need to make it work in their own circumstances. annadeacosta.com/guided-meditations.html
Yeah that all sounds good. But when you have a woman who is more worried about being her children’s friends than a parent and then gets upset with you when you get mad that her children talk back, break things and do what they want after being told to do something else then you have to fight with your significant other just because you got upset and are trying to be dad. It makes for resentment very quickly. Don’t date women with kids.
For all the whiny kids out there, my advice to you 1st and formost is to stay in school.. When u have at least half of a brain, u can do a bit of analysis.. If ur stepdad acts like what a dad should act, u call him dad and u follow his rule.. Same goes for ur stepmom.. Whiny kids may include a lot of goths.. Batteries are sold seperately..
My Stepfather was best father. Even when he divorced from my mummy, I still help him. He was caring and loving. So today mummy don,t like him but we have a strong bond and that helps my small brothers 2 reunited him again after smash divorce. I was 6 yrs when he married my mummy and mummy never let him 2 take care of me becuase of of trust issueses . But he use 2 bought me cloths and toys and cany.
Amen! I’m the Dad that stepped up. I never refer to any of my babies that way. 8 sons,26 grandsons and 2 great grandsons. 5 daughters and 14 grandaughters. I not only love and adore them all the same. I am also Uncle Jeff to everyone I know and meet. Proud Army Veteran and to deal with my PTSD and other health problems. I go everyday if possible and visit,encourage and pray. Wherever I go❤. God made it simple. Love One Another! Love God and one another. Surround you and your family with Godly,Loving, Positive People= Good life! Bad People=Bad life! Yes it’s that simple.
Sorry to say, but Dr. Laura has the best views on this. Parents may not feel comfortable and may deal with a lot of stuff from the divorce and step family issues and that is their own issue to solve, kids didn’t cause or want this. A step family is just that. Step, you can make the best of it but it won’t be perfect nor should it. It’s not the way we are supposed to be. Ignoring the step in my opinion takes away the natural feelings a child may have. It’s going against nature. Recognizing that’s it’s not Plan A, will validate the natural feelings that a kid has wishing it was their mom and dad. IMO Validate and accept for what it is. Then try to implement strategies. But do NOT blame the kids for acting normal in an non-normal situation.
A lot of this would not happen if kids were not forced to visit the parent that has a spouse that the child does not like. I cannot understand what benefit it is to force a child to go into a home and interact with someone they don’t like. Children have feelings and I don’t think telling them they have to except someone they don’t like is the right thing to do. That just is going to create childhood trauma for them into their adulthood. If the parent wants to move on, let them, but don’t force the child to accept them because they do.
What a jerk. He thinks it’s funny to threaten to take away material possessions from a minor who doesn’t want to consider Harvey his father. Harvey, in that kids eyes, is legitimately NOT his father. What a terrible example of step-parenting. Step-parenting is about relationships – that the step-parent is responsible for building. It’s not about shaming or power struggles. How disappointing that GMA let him promote this crap behavior.
My experience and that of many other men is there is no glory nor honor in being a father to another man’s kids. You get 100 percent responsibility and zero percent authority. If you take on a woman with two kids, you are walking into the relationship day one as fourth in priority, and that’s the best you’ll be. You’ll never be a priority. Ever. The kids will never view or treat you as their dad, even when their dad is emotionally and financially unavailable to them. Their mother will undermine your authority both in front of you and the kids and behind your back. And I held the views Steve Harvey preaches. I never viewed them as “step’ and loved them as they were my own. To you men out there in the dating market. Stay away from single moms. They aren’t looking for love. They are looking for help.
This is a joke, and def more programming. These marriages should not have occurred. Period. Its not the true design of marriage. The children always suffer and if this actor think he did a great job at rearing his children and step children …please look at them now. Praying for them and all blended families.
The word is not so much the problem, but step is something that is walked on, and that is exactly how some innocent, vulnerable babies, children over the years have been treated, wickedness, the problem is how humans treat humans, I believe as adults we first are to love and treat children with respect, give them time to adjust, don’t try to be the biological father or mother, just be the loving caring person that they would feel safe / trust to come to us whenever they have a need, when we show them love and respect then we earn their love and trust. And for the bigger child/ children, sometimes # 1 they are still hurting over the breakup of their parents or they don’t want anyone coming between them and their father or mother, so they tend to make it harder for the new partner / step parent, so their has to be a balance of love and willingness to co-orparate from both sides 🙏🏼♥️♥️♥️
where is his stepkids real dad?? I dont think he would have that much control in the house.A real dad would not like u acting as if he was “The Dad” instead of stepdad. I guess his wife had kids with a deadbeat who gave up parental rights and now he can take that title of being full dad.If i was the real dad & my ex married steve,i would make sure he knows who their dad is. He just lucky his wife had kids with a deadbeat dad yrs ago so now he can coast through this.But its not always like that!
Steve’s new wife seems controlling. How can you just request that his children from his other wives come live with them? I wonder if the mothers had much say in this. I think it’s his celebrity status that allowed him to get the power to take away children from their mothers and have them live with him & his new wife. I don’t have a good impression of his new wife based on his article. She doesn’t have any biological children for him so connived with him to take away his real children from their bio moms.
Stepparents are often abusive and very demanding and often want the kids to just respect them even more than there own parents I’ve had horrible exsperiences with my criminal alcholic abusive and neglectful people I don’t think they deserve to be treated good if they are like that and don’t you dare exspectations me to like them abusers don’t deserve it with that being said I don’t think my real parents are any better there pretty much just as abusive and neglectful they don’t need respect I think what they need is help figuring out how to properly raise kids and treat people right and possibly need help with there own issues but having issues is no exscuse to treat people like that so please stop talking about stepparents like they all deserve respect I think they do deserve it if they treat everyone how they want to be treated then they probably do deserve it but if they treat people like mine do then I don’t think they deserve respect I’m all grown up anyway so I don’t have to listen to it anymore and I don’t have to Abbey by them but treat others with respect then you deserve respect treat them like crap then people will probably want to return that favor
So his wife said all the kids even the ones who aren’t hers, have to live all together but what about the actually mother’s who had Steve’s other kids.. what do they say about that?? Because they may not give a damn about all that and want their kids to be with them instead.. that whole moment of what she was saying was kinda weird in my opinion..
If the other parent has legal primary custody it is not right for the other parent that’s getting remarried to say he or she is now going to be living with me because that’s what me and my new spouse want. When Marjorie said she wanted all the kids to live under one roof that confirmed what Winston’s mom was saying when Steve Harvey was being malicious when trying to get custody of Winston. You can still thrive with a blended family without all the kids Under One Roof permanently.
If you don’t get support from the other parent, the relationship won’t work. You can try to avoid the uncomfortable conversations and interactions with the other parent but you’re enabling the children from having to be accountable to assimilate into the family unit. Especially if one parent is more militant than the other parent.
But have you ever think that is harder for the kids or the teenagers truly felt like when their real mom and their real dad ate not together and living together in one house together No! More just think about that’s got a moment though they could be confuse and hurt and painful that is truly are to them on why? Did their real mom and real dad are not together No! More and it’s not that their font like you as their new dad or new mom it’s just that they are confuse and hurt and in painful to see their dad or their mom been with a new person 🙁
Never referred my SKs as my steps nor has my family. Yet because of the hangups from their bio parents, I’m the easiest(safe) target because I’m the replaceable member of their family. They do not want to hurt their parents because to the kids, those individuals are not replaceable. As a step parent in the child’s eyes, you will always be replaceable. Those sort of issues will not just end with you or the children you share with their parent. Not always but majority. If one parent is inciting their children to commit violence towards the other parent’s household, all you can do is remove your own to prevent harm. The SO needs to learn to be the parent that teaches their children real boundaries of right and wrong(lawfully) despite what their other parent promotes. Been there to know.
that’s right!! and there’s a curse goin around this country, that step parents aren’t real parents. People are trying to create a separation, some type of ownership of a human being. The way you’re doin (DID) it is the way it’s always been done. It’s how it should continue to be done, so there is NO confusion. You are my child. I am your parent. I am everyday, all day, rest of your life. And THAT is immediately understood by adults and child on lookers. SHE IS MY CHILD. I am just as ferocious and in love with her as any other parent. PERIOD – full stop. And what NOT to do, is try to separate/prevent those bonds. What NOT to do is to step into a relationship with the mentality that “those are YOUR kids” ; “this is MY child” . And as an extra parent, you gotta be ready for that bio parent that isn’t your partner. to be dignified and exemplar for the child to see, handle your business and ALWAYS do your best!!! cause when he/she folds, u gotta still be standin, STRONG and the example that that parent wasn’t able to be at that time.
How do I deal or do I just get out of a relationship with my partner when he gets upset about me getting his attention and getting accountability for his wrongs he throws my kid’s in my face and gets upset with them and tells me to figure things out on my own cause they are my kid’s not his. Mind you that he has a son from a previous marriage and always has him on a pedastal no matter how bad things can get he always makes me and the kid’s less and goes off with his son instead, what should I do ?
How does it work when you’re the sole provider and step dad, but the dad always wants to be around and come hang out at MY home where they (his kids, my step kids)live? They haven’t gotten the divorce even though they’ve been separated for about 3 years. He wants to be around all up in the house for holidays and birthdays. It comes across as though he or them both are trying to live this fantasy where they can still be a happy family as they were before they separated, but enjoy leaving that and going their separate ways at the end of the day… please advise
How do you deal with your partners ex if theyr toxic, immature, self-centred and hav substance abuse issues (yet hav full custody…dont ask me why, i really think my husbands ex shld NOT hav full custody)?!! I feel like these arrangmnts can only work if all parents are mature and focussed on the KIDS health. This is not the case for us. My partners ex uses his daughter as a pawn and holds full power over him (or she refuses to let us have her). This is unfortunatly not someone we can work with….my step-daughter has rules, expectations, healthy routines and activities with us but at home she has shifting rules (depending on how mch her moms had to drink essentially), she receives harsh punishmnts or is completely ignored/neglected and is now being forced to tell us cruel thngs over the phn while her mother stands beside her coaching and threatening. Im at a loss, i feel trapped with this incredibly manipulative and toxic person in our lives doing damage to my step-child until shes what 16, 18? Shes only 10 now, thats a long time to hav to deal with an abusive alcoholic (ive already been in the picture for 5yrs and honestly, its feelng nearly unbearable!). I worry for my step daughter a lot and I love her, shes a good kid with SO mch potential but shes fallng behind in school (only gets help with homework, studying and practic readng whn shes with us), her physical health is at risk (she has type 1 diabetes whvh her mother neglects), her mental health is at risk by a self absorbed mother who, depending on her mood often wont evn let us talk to her over the phn and whn she does she looms over her makng sure she says what shes told.
I did nothing but love and been a good father; but time 10 years, no matter what I seem to do year after year they don’t appreiate me but it better for us living 140 miles away from MIL but when we moved close 2 years ago all hell broke lose should of stayed here in first place. last 11 mths they gotten lazy not cleaning up after selves living with grandmom but they know with me they have to step up and didn’t want to being real disrespectful, rebellious telling me “oh you ain’t my father”
also automatically expecting a child to adapt and accept new rules of a new house w a new step parent completely disregards the other parent who may have partial custody of the child. there has to be some kind of middle ground and conversation w the kid. otherwise, the child grows up to be a submissive loser who can’t stick up for themselves OR a rebellious forward thinker who disregards EVERY authority figure. the point of making rules for kids isn’t to benefit you, but to mold them into good, competent adults for the future
I and my girlfriend been together about a year she has a daughter at the age of 4 now she turning 5. It was hard at first because she would get extremely jealous and wanted all the attention even though her mom would be with her all day she would through tantrums non stop I can be working all day and soon as I get home she starts acting out in front of her mom to get her attention it was fustersting because she wouldn’t respect me even though I was nice to her snd she always been nice to me but boy soon as I start giving attention to her mom she switches up. Then I realized you have to give attention to her also and tell her it’s not ok that she’s doing her tsntrums n stuff she was spoiled and expected soomething to buy her every time we went to the mall or something she didn’t knew the word no she wouldn’t take no as an answer. Until her mom had enough of it and started spanking her and putting her in time out she’s been good ever since she’s knows what’s right and wrong I agree she’s still a kid but she needs to know her place that we are the parents and we are the boss of them not the other way around so it does work you just have to play shat a dad does but she will never be yours though best thing to do is be there for them snd if they don’t like it then act like you don’t care at longest you snd your girlfriend or wife are happy that’s all it matters she will live on to her own life and what she does with her life she’ll know deep down we always been there for her there’s nothing you can do I would always love her like she’s one of my own and be there for her she sometimes says I’m the best father lol
but after 2 mths things are good somewhat I thought my 16 was going to be a problem long term based on that first day back but she straighten up I guess realizing she didn’t really want to be a JW. My 14 son who acted out to about a week ago, trying to force his way back to GM house causing problems in school, telling his mom he going to call dss making up stuff. mainly cause he didn’t want to wash dishes and clean his room sit on his but all day. GM isn’t responsible to raise you but we are!
him-3 coparents and their rules or lack of them, their parenting style or hiding when the kid is too much, their problems ie she wont pay rent on time so…homeless. help me come up with a plan or series of plans to deal with this fairly her-1 coparent interested in being dad, working full-time as a nurse
My parents split because they were never married and they both remarried. I love my step dad but struggle a lot of with step mum, she’s pessimistic and I hate how she thinks she can help my older sister with speech and language difficulties though she says stuff to me about her like ‘oh your sister should stop talking to herself’ and gets defensive. I find it awkward around her
I completely detest the word step mum, step dad. Simply because the word step mum and step dad are used as penetrating stereotypes towards families trying to make it work for their kids. I am not trying to take the place of real parents, but I’m only trying to create a family bond, a sense of belonging that can overcome whatever step mum step dad stereotypes the world has got about step parents. As an African, every kid grew up with a lot of Pitt towards those who lived with a step mum with the image of this wicked merciless punisher of a woman called step mum. This image was equally created in Cinderella where she’s treated bad by her step mum and step sisters. That’s not who I am. So I’m completely against any step mum step dad names. Call me aunt, uncle, if you can’t call me dad, mum.
My chubby nephew managed to make the most incredible pole dancer I’ve ever seen fall in love with him as he ran the Cupid Love System (Google it). It’s bad but I wish I found myself excited for him but I wish an attractive individual would fall for me. I am totally green with envy. Does that make me a lousy person?